How To Win People Over | Hidden Brain Media

Introduction

• Host: Shankar Vedantam
• Key Theme: Influence and perception are crucial for success and happiness.
• Examples include school, workplace, romantic relations, and negotiations.
• Social scientists are studying effective ways to influence opinions with experimental evidence.

Introduction of Alison Fragale

• Guest: Alison Fragale, Organizational Psychologist at the University of North Carolina.
• Discusses her experiences and research on influencing perceptions.

Personal Anecdotes and Insights

High School Student Council

• Sophomore Year: Ran for student council, lost the election.
• Junior Year: Attempted again, focused on speech; included humor.
• Result: Lost again, friend informed her post-speeches.

Grad School Identity

• Avoids disclosing prestigious education (Dartmouth, Stanford) for fear of seeming snobbish.
• Felt uncomfortable disclosing educational background.

Teaching Award Experience

• Won a prestigious teaching award early in her career.
• Felt proud, but stopped winning despite continued success.
• Colleague suggested soliciting nominations, but she refused, preferring organic recognition.

Key Concepts in Influence

Errors in Influencing Perceptions

• Self-Deprecation: Can lead to being perceived as less competent.
• Status: Respect and regard from others; important for social interactions and career success.
• Assertiveness vs. Warmth: Balancing these is key.

Gender and Status

• Women face challenges in being perceived as both assertive and warm.
• Study: Teaching evaluations showed middle-aged women perceived less favorably due to assertiveness and warmth imbalance.

Strategies for Effective Influence

Balancing Assertiveness and Warmth

• Compensatory Impression Management: Avoid appearing competent by downplaying warmth, or vice versa.
• Focus on being both assertive and warm, not one at the expense of the other.

Practical Techniques

• Helping Others: Showcase talents while aiding others to appear both assertive and warm.
• Brag and Thank: Self-promotion combined with acknowledging others' contributions.
• Humor Bragging: Use humor when promoting oneself to maintain warmth.
• Find Similarities: Establish common ground to create rapport, especially useful in overcoming stereotypes.

Example and Case Study

Stacey Abrams' Interview

• Demonstrated assertiveness and warmth by acknowledging her ambitions and her responsibility as a role model.

Conclusion

• Alison Fragale's Work: Focus on strategies that cater to universal human principles of respect and warmth.
• Recommendations: Apply techniques universally, regardless of one's starting point, for better influence and recognition.

Additional Content

• My Unsung Hero Segment: A story about community support in times of grief.

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• Encouragement to support Hidden Brain through subscriptions for additional content.