Influential Phrases for Business Success

Exactly What To Say, The Magic Words for Influence and Impact by Phil M. Jones uses psychology and proven techniques to help you better your business. Jones will guide you through a series of words or phrases to use while you're negotiating your business deals to keep the conversation in your control and empower you to get the outcome you're looking for. No more floundering around to find what to say when your prospective client or team member shuts you down because exactly what to say will arm you with everything you need to know. With practice and persistence, you can grow your business and learn how to influence people to get what you want. More importantly, Jones gives you the context and the reasons why the phrases are such magic, so you can better understand the tools you're adding to your toolbox. The phrases guarantee that most of the time, they'll bring the negotiations back in your favor, regardless of what objections your customers have. This audiobook encapsulates key takeaways found in the original book. We've also provided an in-depth analysis as well as removing any fluff to save you hours of time. If you've read the original, then this audio summary will help you solidify the most important lessons. I'm not sure if it's for you, but face the fear of rejection by starting a pitch with this line. I'm not sure if it's for you, but this phrase, Joan suggests, tells the listener subconscious that there's no pressure, but it also makes them more interested from the get-go. Jones insists that it'll most likely lead to your audience or target listening with greater interest, or, worst case, they have to take more time to consider your offer. Examples. I'm not sure if it's for you, but do you know who would be into your product or service? I'm not sure if it's for you, but you're welcome to join us on Saturday. I'm not sure if it's for you, but I'd hate for you to miss this limited time offer. Open-minded. People want to be considered open-minded, especially when the alternative, closed-mindedness, has such baggage connected to it. Jones insists that you take advantage of that and introduce your ideas or products with, how open-minded are you? That will give your audience a chance to prove that they are, and for you to present your idea as progressive, something they'll want to be a part of. It creates a sense of obligation for the other person. even if it's just to consider the possibility of what you're proposing. Examples. How open-minded would you be about this as an alternative? How open-minded would you be about taking a chance on this? How open-minded would you be about making more money every month? How open-minded would you be about working together? What do you know? Controlling the conversation is essential to influencing people, Jones says. One way to manage this is to make them doubt their position. When your opposition is set in their ways and becomes argumentative, shutting down something new just because it's new, this technique can be beneficial. Instead of wasting time going in circles, call into question the facts their opinion is based on. Ask them, What do you know about... This will subtly force them to cite their sources for why they think what they do, leaving the discussion open for attack. It should at least give the other person a chance to recognize there is room for exploration and changes in their opinions, all in your favor. Some examples. What do you know about us? What do you know about the changes since, insert an event? What do you know about how we do things here? What do you know about how our products can benefit you? How would you feel if... Understand that anyone you're trying to influence runs on both emotional... and logical responses. The emotional response will always come first, Jones says, and then the logical. The decision has to feel good before the logical side of things can take over. By asking, how would you feel, you get a chance to help guide their emotions so your target can skip to the logic of what you're saying more easily. And while you're working on your audience's emotions, you can find what motivates them. Most people are motivated by a desire to avoid a loss or to find success, Jones suggests. So that's a good place to start when you ask about their feelings. Here's some examples. How would you feel if this got you a promotion? How would you feel if your competition beat you? How would you feel if you did better? How would you feel if you were debt-free in a year? Just imagine. You make every decision twice. You have to create a fantasy vision of the decision before you ever make it a reality. In other words, if you haven't seen yourself or someone else do something, then you likely won't make the decision. Visualization is a key factor in decision making. So, if you can get creative and make someone see themselves making the choice you want them to, they're more likely to follow your ideas. By applying the concepts from the last chapter about finding the person's core motivation, you should be able to feed into their emotional responses and tell them exactly what they should picture themselves doing. The person you're influencing will always be able to fill in more details to their fantasy than you'll ever be able to feed them. Because they'll picture it more vividly with your guidance, they'll have an emotional investment in making it happen. Some examples. Just imagine how much better things will be in six months once you listen to me. Just imagine what you'd think if you missed this chance. Just imagine how your kids will look at you when you nail this. Just imagine the impact you will make. When would be a good time? A big part of giving yourself an advantage is making people think there's no option to say no. If you ask them if they can do something for you, they have the option to turn you down. Instead, Jones suggests, ask, when would be a good time to... That way, they'll already subconsciously be more inclined to give you a real answer instead of trying to blow you off. The directness is subtle, but already assumes that you're on their schedule. They just have to confirm when. In other words, you can bypass the steps for getting them to agree to meet with you to pitch your idea, or service, or product, and head straight to convincing them that you've got the best product, service, or idea in the industry. The key, Jones says, is to keep the conversation in your favor by scheduling how and when you'll be communicating next and not asking what they think about your idea. Instead, ask what they liked so they don't have as much opportunity to tell you about the negative aspects of your idea. Allowing them to focus on the positives just might trick them into liking the idea more than they did when they first came into the room. Here's some examples. When would be a good time to look at this? When would be a good time to start? When would be a good time to talk? I'm guessing you haven't got around to... This is how to approach someone who you suspect hasn't taken the time to review the idea, product, or service that you've pitched to them, Jones says, rather than being intimidated or afraid to approach your audience, and instead of outright asking what they thought, which allows them to tell you how little your pitch meant to them, give them a chance to save face. Start your conversation with, I'm guessing you haven't gotten around to... By taking control of the excuse they were likely going to use, you'll have more power to steer the conversation your way. You took their planned response, and now they have to rely on your guidance for a new approach to the discussion. And now, the conversation has two outcomes. They get to proudly contradict you because they did get around to what you pitched, or you get to control the discussion to soothe their embarrassment. opening up the possibility of renegotiating when and how they'll get to your proposal. They'll likely renew their commitment to doing what you wanted to keep from facing the embarrassment of being called out. Here's some examples. I'm guessing you haven't got around to reading these documents yet. I'm guessing you haven't got around to setting a date. I'm guessing you haven't got around to deciding yet, have you? Simple swaps. Jones introduces two concepts in one in this chapter. He uses psychology again to really make the technique work. He says that simply changing your open-ended questions to close-ended ones will give you the outcome you're looking for. For example, instead of asking if your audience has any questions at the end of your pitch, ask what questions they have. By asking if they have questions, you give them the chance to leave the conversation when you want them to make a decision. It might make them feel foolish for having questions, encouraging them not to ask. Creating a situation where having questions is not only normal but expected and encouraged gives your audience more confidence to ask what they need to know to make an informed decision. And that allows you to control the conversation by presenting your information in a way that serves you. Similarly, don't ask if you can have their phone number, email, or other contact information because it leaves your audience open to say no You can't. But if instead you ask, what's the best number to contact you at? Or even, what's the best way to contact you? You'll most likely get the contact information you need because you bypass asking for permission. It's much harder for your audience to tactfully decline handing over their contact information when you've already assumed and given yourself permission. You have three options. You have to be careful when you manipulate your audience, Jones says. because no one likes to know they've been manipulated. They want to be in control and feel like they have agency in their decisions. So you have to be clever with how you use these techniques. One way is to give them the illusion of making their own choice is to tell them, as I see it, you've got three options. That way you can give them the options that will benefit you, all while appearing unbiased, and they'll feel as if they ultimately got to make their own decision. Here's an example. If you lay out the facts of the situation, you'll be able to present choices that make sense but are undesirable, and one that you want to steer them towards. This is what Jones presents. Someone is working a job they hate with long hours, not enough money, and that keeps them away from their family. The speaker presented them with a job opportunity but sees that they're not sure about what to do. The speaker gives the person three options. Work on their resume, send out applications, interview, and try to find a new job, stay here where they are and keep the same problems, or they could join you in the role you've guaranteed they'll get. and see what kind of opportunity they get to explore. The follow-up to giving your options, Joan says, is ending your list with, of those three options, which is the easiest for you? In the example, that means searching for a new job will be off the list, leaving the do nothing option, staying in the job they hate, or going with the job you've already offered. Since they hate their current job, there's only one choice left, the one you want them to choose. By hitting your target with the one-two punch of the three options, or what's easiest combination, you'll be able to manipulate them without being too overt about it. They'll still get the chance to feel as if they've made a choice independently, even though you've made sure there was only one real choice to make. Two types of people. Being in business often means having to help people make a decision. Jones says that the primary job description for anyone in sales is essentially a professional decision maker. Getting your target interested in something is one thing, but closing the deal and getting them to decide for sure to buy the product or service you're offering is much harder. One of the easy ways to help people decide is to remove extra choices for them. That becomes even easier when the choices are completely opposed. Wine or beer, hiking or movies, romance or horror movies. Telling people that there are two types of people in the world will automatically make your target wonder which kind they are and make them far more invested in hearing the choices. Giving them something to identify with is another bit of psychology to use to your benefit. Frame the choices to work in your favor, as in presenting one choice that is undesirable and one that is clearly geared in your favor. The real success will come when the option is in their best interest, so it doesn't come off as self-serving. Instead, they'll see it as you giving them a chance to achieve whatever it is you're offering, and you'll be the one to help them get there. Some examples. There are two types of people in this world. Ones who let their employers control their financial futures, and ones who take control themselves. Those who judge without trying, and those who base their opinion on experience. Those who value nostalgia, and those who change to make a better future. Those who read books like this, and do nothing. and those who read books and live better. I bet you're a bit like me. This works better with a stranger. It gives you a chance to keep the conversation easy. I bet you're a bit like me works best when you want the other person to agree with you and believe that what you're saying is true. Creating a sense of connection between you and the stranger will endear them to you because you've established common ground, even if there isn't any basis for it. As long as you're staying within reason with your assumptions, and not getting too specific, then you can get your audience to agree with you. And when they agree with you, ask them to provide some examples or evidences for how you're alike. They won't be able to take back what they've said to characterize themselves. It will give you a better opportunity to keep connecting with them. And that means they're less likely to disagree with you when you're trying to sell or pitch something to them. Make sure you keep eye contact with your target when you feed them the lines, Jones suggests, and establish some form of dominance over the conversation so it'll be harder for them to say they can't follow your instructions to better their situation. Here's some examples. I bet you're a bit like me. You work hard because it will pay off later. I bet you're a bit like me. You'd rather do something productive than watch bad TV in the evening. I bet you're a bit like me. You're busy juggling a lot of balls at once. If, then. The way we speak and listen and what we believe are ingrained from childhood, Jones says, and all of that combines into a system of habits we depend on to help us make decisions. Adults did this when we were children, using conditional statements to teach us that our actions have consequences. And those statements worked, Joan says, because our parents believed what they were saying, because they made them come true, or because they had the experience they based their opinions on. Similarly, if you believe you're telling your target something true, that your product or idea really will deliver something special to them, then you're likely going to convince them to believe what you have to say. In fact, it'll be difficult not to believe what you say. You should be able to see results as early as the first time that you try it. Here's some examples. If you don't eat your vegetables, then you won't get dessert. If you don't study, then you won't go to college. If you don't clean your room, then you're grounded. If you try this, then you won't be disappointed. If you stock my product, then your customers will love it. Don't worry. The next phrase is simple. Don't worry. By showing your audience that you see their apprehension or worry and you address and soothe their worries because you're empathetic, you're likely to get an instant change in their demeanor. Be confident and calm when you address them and you'll be able to help them relax. As soon as you see that your target is starting to struggle, stay relaxed and comfort them, showing that you're in control and confident in what you're saying or offering them what will help them relax. They'll be more willing to trust you to give them this advice and guidance they need throughout the process of you selling or pitching an idea. If you can successfully calm someone down and give them a reason to trust in your expertise, becoming a figure of authority, you'll be able to guide them in a way that benefits you. Some examples. Don't worry. It's natural to be nervous. I know you're not sure what the right choice is now, but I'm here to help you decide. Don't worry. I felt like you when I got started. Don't worry if you're wondering how to apply these changes. Most people. Most people, Jones says, is responsible for most of his personal success in negotiation. This phrase can break people out of an indecision spiral by taking advantage of psychology. There are two things to understand. People take comfort in knowing they're making a choice that others have successfully made before and that people don't like to be told what to do. Jones gives this example for the first concept. A group of children are working up the nerve to leap from a high rock into the lake below. Finally, one of the children jumps, splashes down hard, and breaks the surface with a huge grin instead of broken limbs. Because the first kid made it down without a scratch and had a great time doing it, now all the kids want to take their turn. Everyone likes to follow a leader and trusts in safety in numbers, Jones says. Guiding someone to follow your advice or outright listen to you can be difficult. You run the risk of sounding rude or bossy or giving unsolicited advice, which can shut the other person down and make them far less open to suggestions. Making the other person defensive will end badly for you. Instead, stating what most people do in their situation as a fact can guide them without making it seem like you're assuming authority or getting involved in their business. Their subconscious will assume They should go along with what the majority has done. Most people who use this technique, Joan says, see positive effects almost immediately. Here's some examples. What most people do is sign the papers with me today. What most people do is get started with a small order and then see how they want to proceed. Most people grab an opportunity before they lose the chance. The good news. This chapter is about how to turn around the negative energy in your life. Whether it's coming from the people you're pitching it to, your team, or even others in your personal life, this technique is called labeling. Once you add a label to something, it's almost impossible to remove that label, allowing you to turn the conversation in a positive direction. By saying, the good news is, you can make your target see what you proposed as positive. It'll be too difficult for them to argue that it's not good news. Rather than allowing the conversation to focus on negativity, even blame or self-pity, you can emphasize all the good associated with your pitch or project. If someone is unsure about their abilities, the good news is loads of people have been in this position and have gone on to succeed. If someone doesn't think that they can make their business work, the good news is with our training and people here to support you, you'll do fine. If someone's not open to change but they need to do it to succeed, the good news is They know that what they're doing doesn't work, so there's nothing to lose by trying something new. So there's no more negative energy left in the conversation because there's something positive to focus on and usually something to work towards. This technique can be combined with another phrase, that's great. If someone has a reason for not wanting to do something, rather than pushing back and arguing with them, validate their reason. At least now they know a way that won't work. And by finding the positive in something negative, they can learn to twist the negative into something good in the future. What happens next? Once you've finished your pitch or presentation, your audience seems on the hook, and you're ready to close the deal. Now what? Joan says that people are so dedicated to finishing their pitch strong, selling their audience on the idea of what they can do for them, and trying to look like an expert, that they have no idea how to seal the deal. They don't want to seem pushy. So the conversation comes to a standstill, which allows the other person in the room to take control of the conversation. You can't trust that anyone else will make the right decision, the one that benefits you, without your guidance. Sometimes the other person never makes a decision at all, which can feel like a slap in the face. So, make sure you continue to guide the whole process, from pitch to delivery. What happens next is, is the phrase to use in this case. You'll outline the next steps, creating a series of actions they can follow easily to get them to follow through and complete the process of getting your product on the shelves or hire you to provide a service or to put your idea into work to become a reality. For example, what happens next is we get your contact information so you can receive what you need in a timely manner and then we schedule another meeting. Don't forget to follow up with a closed-ended question when you ask for their contact details. This will assure the other person you still have control of the situation and it will subconsciously signal to them that they're going to move ahead with you. Just make sure the question is simple to answer. This gives the other person a greater chance of answering because they feel like it's been a successful discussion and that you are the best choice for them getting what they need. What makes you say that? It's not a good business practice to fight with people, but some people are contrarians, looking to disagree at any opportunity. Others just want to refute you because they think they're doing what's best for themselves. However, Jones says, most people are willing to give up a fight in favor of an easier road. To appropriately deal with the objections, it's important to know what their objections are. Sometimes they don't want to deny you outright or don't want to make the decision right away. But allowing them to do this gives up your power in the discussion. You'll be forced to let them set the next terms, which means they might not ever come back to you for your idea, your product, or your service. You have to be the person asking the questions if you want to be in control, Joan says. So treat the excuses like questions and ask a question in return to grab the power back. For example, the other person might say the following. I don't have the time. It's not the right time. I'd like to check other places. I can't afford it right now. I have to check with my partner first. Instead of trying to argue against those things, which are nearly impossible to disprove, How can you disprove their financial situation? Or what time they have to dedicate to you? Ask them the right question. What makes you say that? There are specific questions you can ask about the excuses they give, but this phrase is powerful enough to cover just about anything they could throw at you. By calling them out on their excuse, they'll feel obligated to expand on that excuse, giving you more information so you can suggest the next plan of action. That way, You'll be able to assure them that what you're offering won't be a burden on their time or their bank account, or you'll be able to help them decide to come back to you when they are free. Before you make your mind up, you can focus on getting someone to say maybe if you can't turn their no into a yes. If you can tell the other person is leaning towards rejecting you, hit them with this. Before you make your mind up, that way you can bring them back to a neutral position. so they can find a way to say yes. You can keep the negotiation alive by giving them a chance to evaluate your proposal from a new perspective. It'll give you another opportunity to contextualize information they already have or to give them new information, especially if you pair this technique with the last chapters and learn more about where their doubts are coming from. Your goal is to influence their decision in your favor, so the more information you have about what their decision is based on, the more effectively you can manipulate their choice to benefit yourself. Some examples. Before you make your mind up, let's review the facts. Before you make your mind up, let's make sure you know the details of what you're turning down. Before you make your mind up, why don't you ask around about how this can benefit your family? If I can, will you? Show your prospect you're willing to go out of your way for their sake, and they just might be more willing to do the same for you. Whether that means listening to your pitch or committing to you, offering what looks like a better price or a special deal can make all the difference. This happens in our personal lives, Jones says. For instance, if your friend can't go out because they're broke, you might say something like, if I cover you, then will you go out? In this scenario, your friend has resigned themselves to powerlessness in the face of an outside force. But you can act as an outside force that gives them a chance to take some of that power back. When it comes to a customer's needs, however, you might say something like, if I can match the price you found online, then will you place an order with me? You're not obligated to follow through, Jones says, but offering something that looks special to your potential customer will open them up. You'll be back in control of where the conversation goes next, and you'll probably get more honesty from your customer so you can work with them to negotiate. Then you can find the outcome you're looking for. Enough. If you need your customers, clients, or teammates to decide about the quantity of your service, then you need enough. You can push the other person's limits and get a little more out of them than you might have otherwise. Jones gives the example of deciding how many apples you should buy at the grocery store. If you're choosing between four and eight apples, just ask, Are eight apples enough? You wouldn't have to think about your answer. You'd know that yes, eight is enough, and you'd have your decision. The scenario isn't a perfect one because four apples would also probably be enough. In business, however, Your goal is to make people want more of your product and not less. Although you may want the smaller number of apples so you don't overload on fruit, you might want to guide your customer to the larger amount. You want to make sure they have the right amount to keep them coming back for more. Jones gives another example. Hoarding travel-sized shampoo and conditioner from hotels is one thing, but you're not going to go out and buy them. On the other hand, if you find a brand that offers deals on its full-sized bottles, That might be your new go-to. Jones says he worked with a company that wanted repeat customers for their beverage, but the customers were never sure whether they should buy two or three bottles. So, he suggested that the company's representatives ask if three will be enough. If not, then more bottles might be necessary. If three is the magic number, then the discussion is finished and the decision made. Guide your customer to a place where saying yes is the easiest option. rather than negotiating around what number is the right one. It will save you time and effort and get the results that you want. Just one more thing. To really succeed in business, you have to learn how to upsell. Equally important, but often neglected, however, is the downsell. For example, using the Apple scenario from the last chapter, if your customer thought eight was too much, you may have to settle for them only buying four. If you want someone to commit to a contract, you might have to downsell them on a trial order. Or if you want to partner with someone, asking them to be a customer first might work. Jones says Lt. Columbo, from the TV show Columbo, would interrogate his suspect, always casually, never pushing, by asking about harmless facts and usually agreeing with the suspect's creative theory to explain something they overlooked in a murder. For example, The victim's motive for doing something strange that was a mistake in the cover-up. The suspect thinks they're off the hook, and Columbo takes advantage of their guard being down. Just one more thing, he says, and that's when he hits the suspect with the critical piece of information they're not prepared to rebut. You have to be Columbo in business. Get your prospect's guard down and hit them with something they can't refuse. If they think they've gotten away from committing, you make your way to the door, bring out the phrase, and entice them with the downsell. When the alternative is walking away with nothing, getting something from the deal is considered a win and a means to bring them back for the upsell later. Here's some examples. Offer a product sample. Offer a small order to test it out. Ask them to stop by an event. Connect them with a contact. Getting a favor or creating scarcity. A favor. Success is often a community effort, and sometimes the best way to convince someone to partner with you is to help them out. Jones asks, How many times have you wished for someone to help you accomplish something that was just out of reach? The way to get someone's help is to ask directly. Could you do me a small favor? By making sure the other person knows it won't be going out of their way or be a burden, you're likely to get them to agree. At least they'll be reasonably open to the idea. Even before they know what the favor is, it should work your way. At worst, they'll want to know what the favor is before they commit. Once they've agreed, you could find yourself overwhelmed at the possibility of what to ask them, Jones says. For now, he focuses on referrals to grow your customer base. Unfortunately, using your existing customer base to bring in new people is not a technique people use nearly enough. Jones suggests these reasons why that may be. They're lazy, they don't know when to ask, or they don't know how to ask. But since you're the type of person who cares enough to pick up a book and make a change for yourself, Jones says you can't be lazy. So we move on to the other two options. There are plenty of good times to ask for referrals. As long as your customer is happy with you because of something you've done for them, you can take advantage of their desire to thank you, which indicates they feel they owe you something, to ask them. They say thank you, and that's your cue to combine some of the other techniques you've learned. Jones breaks it down. Ask if they wouldn't mind doing a small favor. Would they happen to know, which gives them a reason to prove you wrong, one person, Because that's a reasonable task and they'll probably think of someone specific who, like you, which pays the other person a compliment and helps narrow down who you're looking for, might benefit from the benefit from a product, service, or idea you're offering. Don't pressure them into giving up the other person's contact information right on the spot, but do ask who they were thinking of. That way, they'll remember that you asked about their contact. Follow up. by asking them to do another small favor. The next time they see that person, share a little bit about their experience and how it benefited them and if they are open-minded about getting in touch. Remember chapter two on open-mindedness. Ask permission to follow up with them about their talk with their contact in a week. Start the conversation with chapter sevens. I'm guessing you didn't get around to speaking with them and take your chance to get in touch with that contact. Even if it takes longer to set up the connection with your customer's contact, you'll have established a connection through your mutual contact already, and they should be primed for your pitch, because their trusted friend already sold them on how much you did for them. Just out of curiosity, Jones admits he is always frustrated when people tell him they need time to think before they decide. Even though people shouldn't rush into decisions, he says, it's rarely the case that someone is about to go home and look over their options. Instead, it's a way of putting it off and not coming to a decision at all. The frustration comes when you consider all the time you've taken to get to this point. Answering inquiries, taking meetings, pitching, learning about them, getting to know the challenges they're facing, suggesting how to overcome those issues, etc. Just to have your prospect blow you off without committing one way or the other. Jones feels this isn't fair, and the other party owes you more transparency in what they're thinking about considering all you've done to offer them whatever you're pitching out of the goodness of your heart. But because he doesn't want to sound obnoxious to their faces, Jones used to settle for hoping they'd come back to him eventually, assuring them there was no pressure. So Jones found a way to ask about their doubts to continue the discussion about how he could assuage their fears and shift the conversation back in his control. The key, he says, is allowing them to answer honestly, without judging or assuming what they'll say. After asking, one of two things will happen. You'll get a long pause, and then their honest answer, or you'll get a longer pause, and they come back with something like, You're right. There's nothing standing in the way right now. Because you've asked them the question they didn't want to ask themselves, you give them the power to make the decision you both knew was the right one. Some examples. Just out of curiosity, what specifically do you have to think about? Just out of curiosity, what do you need to feel good about making this decision? Just out of curiosity, what's stopping you from moving forward now? After reading these phrases for manipulating the conversation in your favor, Jones says, you're likely aware of the importance of finding the right ones when you need them. But there's something else he wants you to know, and it's not a magic word. You don't need to have the answer. You just need an answer. Jones tells the story of Roger, a man who was at the forefront of change to digital phones, and how he was inundated with questions about how the technology worked. When he'd rattle off the technical aspects, the science behind it all, the people asking would go blank, unable to keep up. So, when they would ask how it worked, he'd just say that it works great. The customers would be delighted, and he'd get to keep the conversation in his favor. You don't have to give specifics. Just give them something that will boost their confidence. Of course, Jones says, this advice works. But it won't work with every person, every time. But, with practice and dedication, You'll be able to identify when they'll make a difference in your business and your life.

The phrases guarantee that most of the time, they'll bring the negotiations back in your favor, regardless of what objections your customers have. This audiobook encapsulates key takeaways found in the original book. We've also provided an in-depth analysis as well as removing any fluff to save you hours of time. If you've read the original, then this audio summary will help you solidify the most important lessons. I'm not sure if it's for you, but face the fear of rejection by starting a pitch with this line.

I'm not sure if it's for you, but this phrase, Joan suggests, tells the listener subconscious that there's no pressure, but it also makes them more interested from the get-go. Jones insists that it'll most likely lead to your audience or target listening with greater interest, or, worst case, they have to take more time to consider your offer. Examples.

I'm not sure if it's for you, but do you know who would be into your product or service? I'm not sure if it's for you, but you're welcome to join us on Saturday. I'm not sure if it's for you, but I'd hate for you to miss this limited time offer. Open-minded.

People want to be considered open-minded, especially when the alternative, closed-mindedness, has such baggage connected to it. Jones insists that you take advantage of that and introduce your ideas or products with, how open-minded are you? That will give your audience a chance to prove that they are, and for you to present your idea as progressive, something they'll want to be a part of.

It creates a sense of obligation for the other person. even if it's just to consider the possibility of what you're proposing. Examples.

How open-minded would you be about this as an alternative? How open-minded would you be about taking a chance on this? How open-minded would you be about making more money every month? How open-minded would you be about working together?

What do you know? Controlling the conversation is essential to influencing people, Jones says. One way to manage this is to make them doubt their position.

When your opposition is set in their ways and becomes argumentative, shutting down something new just because it's new, this technique can be beneficial. Instead of wasting time going in circles, call into question the facts their opinion is based on. Ask them, What do you know about...

This will subtly force them to cite their sources for why they think what they do, leaving the discussion open for attack. It should at least give the other person a chance to recognize there is room for exploration and changes in their opinions, all in your favor. Some examples.

What do you know about us? What do you know about the changes since, insert an event? What do you know about how we do things here? What do you know about how our products can benefit you?

How would you feel if... Understand that anyone you're trying to influence runs on both emotional... and logical responses. The emotional response will always come first, Jones says, and then the logical.

The decision has to feel good before the logical side of things can take over. By asking, how would you feel, you get a chance to help guide their emotions so your target can skip to the logic of what you're saying more easily. And while you're working on your audience's emotions, you can find what motivates them. Most people are motivated by a desire to avoid a loss or to find success, Jones suggests.

So that's a good place to start when you ask about their feelings. Here's some examples. How would you feel if this got you a promotion? How would you feel if your competition beat you?

How would you feel if you did better? How would you feel if you were debt-free in a year? Just imagine. You make every decision twice.

You have to create a fantasy vision of the decision before you ever make it a reality. In other words, if you haven't seen yourself or someone else do something, then you likely won't make the decision. Visualization is a key factor in decision making.

So, if you can get creative and make someone see themselves making the choice you want them to, they're more likely to follow your ideas. By applying the concepts from the last chapter about finding the person's core motivation, you should be able to feed into their emotional responses and tell them exactly what they should picture themselves doing. The person you're influencing will always be able to fill in more details to their fantasy than you'll ever be able to feed them.

Because they'll picture it more vividly with your guidance, they'll have an emotional investment in making it happen. Some examples. Just imagine how much better things will be in six months once you listen to me.

Just imagine what you'd think if you missed this chance. Just imagine how your kids will look at you when you nail this. Just imagine the impact you will make.

When would be a good time? A big part of giving yourself an advantage is making people think there's no option to say no. If you ask them if they can do something for you, they have the option to turn you down. Instead, Jones suggests, ask, when would be a good time to... That way, they'll already subconsciously be more inclined to give you a real answer instead of trying to blow you off.

The directness is subtle, but already assumes that you're on their schedule. They just have to confirm when. In other words, you can bypass the steps for getting them to agree to meet with you to pitch your idea, or service, or product, and head straight to convincing them that you've got the best product, service, or idea in the industry.

The key, Jones says, is to keep the conversation in your favor by scheduling how and when you'll be communicating next and not asking what they think about your idea. Instead, ask what they liked so they don't have as much opportunity to tell you about the negative aspects of your idea. Allowing them to focus on the positives just might trick them into liking the idea more than they did when they first came into the room.

Here's some examples. When would be a good time to look at this? When would be a good time to start? When would be a good time to talk? I'm guessing you haven't got around to...

This is how to approach someone who you suspect hasn't taken the time to review the idea, product, or service that you've pitched to them, Jones says, rather than being intimidated or afraid to approach your audience, and instead of outright asking what they thought, which allows them to tell you how little your pitch meant to them, give them a chance to save face. Start your conversation with, I'm guessing you haven't gotten around to... By taking control of the excuse they were likely going to use, you'll have more power to steer the conversation your way.

You took their planned response, and now they have to rely on your guidance for a new approach to the discussion. And now, the conversation has two outcomes. They get to proudly contradict you because they did get around to what you pitched, or you get to control the discussion to soothe their embarrassment. opening up the possibility of renegotiating when and how they'll get to your proposal. They'll likely renew their commitment to doing what you wanted to keep from facing the embarrassment of being called out.

Here's some examples. I'm guessing you haven't got around to reading these documents yet. I'm guessing you haven't got around to setting a date. I'm guessing you haven't got around to deciding yet, have you? Simple swaps.

Jones introduces two concepts in one in this chapter. He uses psychology again to really make the technique work. He says that simply changing your open-ended questions to close-ended ones will give you the outcome you're looking for.

For example, instead of asking if your audience has any questions at the end of your pitch, ask what questions they have. By asking if they have questions, you give them the chance to leave the conversation when you want them to make a decision. It might make them feel foolish for having questions, encouraging them not to ask. Creating a situation where having questions is not only normal but expected and encouraged gives your audience more confidence to ask what they need to know to make an informed decision. And that allows you to control the conversation by presenting your information in a way that serves you.

Similarly, don't ask if you can have their phone number, email, or other contact information because it leaves your audience open to say no You can't. But if instead you ask, what's the best number to contact you at? Or even, what's the best way to contact you?

You'll most likely get the contact information you need because you bypass asking for permission. It's much harder for your audience to tactfully decline handing over their contact information when you've already assumed and given yourself permission. You have three options. You have to be careful when you manipulate your audience, Jones says. because no one likes to know they've been manipulated.

They want to be in control and feel like they have agency in their decisions. So you have to be clever with how you use these techniques. One way is to give them the illusion of making their own choice is to tell them, as I see it, you've got three options.

That way you can give them the options that will benefit you, all while appearing unbiased, and they'll feel as if they ultimately got to make their own decision. Here's an example. If you lay out the facts of the situation, you'll be able to present choices that make sense but are undesirable, and one that you want to steer them towards. This is what Jones presents. Someone is working a job they hate with long hours, not enough money, and that keeps them away from their family.

The speaker presented them with a job opportunity but sees that they're not sure about what to do. The speaker gives the person three options. Work on their resume, send out applications, interview, and try to find a new job, stay here where they are and keep the same problems, or they could join you in the role you've guaranteed they'll get.

and see what kind of opportunity they get to explore. The follow-up to giving your options, Joan says, is ending your list with, of those three options, which is the easiest for you? In the example, that means searching for a new job will be off the list, leaving the do nothing option, staying in the job they hate, or going with the job you've already offered.

Since they hate their current job, there's only one choice left, the one you want them to choose. By hitting your target with the one-two punch of the three options, or what's easiest combination, you'll be able to manipulate them without being too overt about it. They'll still get the chance to feel as if they've made a choice independently, even though you've made sure there was only one real choice to make. Two types of people. Being in business often means having to help people make a decision.

Jones says that the primary job description for anyone in sales is essentially a professional decision maker. Getting your target interested in something is one thing, but closing the deal and getting them to decide for sure to buy the product or service you're offering is much harder. One of the easy ways to help people decide is to remove extra choices for them. That becomes even easier when the choices are completely opposed. Wine or beer, hiking or movies, romance or horror movies.

Telling people that there are two types of people in the world will automatically make your target wonder which kind they are and make them far more invested in hearing the choices. Giving them something to identify with is another bit of psychology to use to your benefit. Frame the choices to work in your favor, as in presenting one choice that is undesirable and one that is clearly geared in your favor. The real success will come when the option is in their best interest, so it doesn't come off as self-serving.

Instead, they'll see it as you giving them a chance to achieve whatever it is you're offering, and you'll be the one to help them get there. Some examples. There are two types of people in this world. Ones who let their employers control their financial futures, and ones who take control themselves. Those who judge without trying, and those who base their opinion on experience.

Those who value nostalgia, and those who change to make a better future. Those who read books like this, and do nothing. and those who read books and live better.

I bet you're a bit like me. This works better with a stranger. It gives you a chance to keep the conversation easy. I bet you're a bit like me works best when you want the other person to agree with you and believe that what you're saying is true.

Creating a sense of connection between you and the stranger will endear them to you because you've established common ground, even if there isn't any basis for it. As long as you're staying within reason with your assumptions, and not getting too specific, then you can get your audience to agree with you. And when they agree with you, ask them to provide some examples or evidences for how you're alike. They won't be able to take back what they've said to characterize themselves.

It will give you a better opportunity to keep connecting with them. And that means they're less likely to disagree with you when you're trying to sell or pitch something to them. Make sure you keep eye contact with your target when you feed them the lines, Jones suggests, and establish some form of dominance over the conversation so it'll be harder for them to say they can't follow your instructions to better their situation. Here's some examples.

I bet you're a bit like me. You work hard because it will pay off later. I bet you're a bit like me.

You'd rather do something productive than watch bad TV in the evening. I bet you're a bit like me. You're busy juggling a lot of balls at once.

If, then. The way we speak and listen and what we believe are ingrained from childhood, Jones says, and all of that combines into a system of habits we depend on to help us make decisions. Adults did this when we were children, using conditional statements to teach us that our actions have consequences. And those statements worked, Joan says, because our parents believed what they were saying, because they made them come true, or because they had the experience they based their opinions on. Similarly, if you believe you're telling your target something true, that your product or idea really will deliver something special to them, then you're likely going to convince them to believe what you have to say.

In fact, it'll be difficult not to believe what you say. You should be able to see results as early as the first time that you try it. Here's some examples. If you don't eat your vegetables, then you won't get dessert.

If you don't study, then you won't go to college. If you don't clean your room, then you're grounded. If you try this, then you won't be disappointed. If you stock my product, then your customers will love it. Don't worry.

The next phrase is simple. Don't worry. By showing your audience that you see their apprehension or worry and you address and soothe their worries because you're empathetic, you're likely to get an instant change in their demeanor. Be confident and calm when you address them and you'll be able to help them relax. As soon as you see that your target is starting to struggle, stay relaxed and comfort them, showing that you're in control and confident in what you're saying or offering them what will help them relax.

They'll be more willing to trust you to give them this advice and guidance they need throughout the process of you selling or pitching an idea. If you can successfully calm someone down and give them a reason to trust in your expertise, becoming a figure of authority, you'll be able to guide them in a way that benefits you. Some examples. Don't worry. It's natural to be nervous.

I know you're not sure what the right choice is now, but I'm here to help you decide. Don't worry. I felt like you when I got started. Don't worry if you're wondering how to apply these changes.

Most people. Most people, Jones says, is responsible for most of his personal success in negotiation. This phrase can break people out of an indecision spiral by taking advantage of psychology. There are two things to understand. People take comfort in knowing they're making a choice that others have successfully made before and that people don't like to be told what to do.

Jones gives this example for the first concept. A group of children are working up the nerve to leap from a high rock into the lake below. Finally, one of the children jumps, splashes down hard, and breaks the surface with a huge grin instead of broken limbs. Because the first kid made it down without a scratch and had a great time doing it, now all the kids want to take their turn. Everyone likes to follow a leader and trusts in safety in numbers, Jones says.

Guiding someone to follow your advice or outright listen to you can be difficult. You run the risk of sounding rude or bossy or giving unsolicited advice, which can shut the other person down and make them far less open to suggestions. Making the other person defensive will end badly for you. Instead, stating what most people do in their situation as a fact can guide them without making it seem like you're assuming authority or getting involved in their business. Their subconscious will assume They should go along with what the majority has done.

Most people who use this technique, Joan says, see positive effects almost immediately. Here's some examples. What most people do is sign the papers with me today. What most people do is get started with a small order and then see how they want to proceed.

Most people grab an opportunity before they lose the chance. The good news. This chapter is about how to turn around the negative energy in your life. Whether it's coming from the people you're pitching it to, your team, or even others in your personal life, this technique is called labeling.

Once you add a label to something, it's almost impossible to remove that label, allowing you to turn the conversation in a positive direction. By saying, the good news is, you can make your target see what you proposed as positive. It'll be too difficult for them to argue that it's not good news. Rather than allowing the conversation to focus on negativity, even blame or self-pity, you can emphasize all the good associated with your pitch or project. If someone is unsure about their abilities, the good news is loads of people have been in this position and have gone on to succeed.

If someone doesn't think that they can make their business work, the good news is with our training and people here to support you, you'll do fine. If someone's not open to change but they need to do it to succeed, the good news is They know that what they're doing doesn't work, so there's nothing to lose by trying something new. So there's no more negative energy left in the conversation because there's something positive to focus on and usually something to work towards. This technique can be combined with another phrase, that's great. If someone has a reason for not wanting to do something, rather than pushing back and arguing with them, validate their reason.

At least now they know a way that won't work. And by finding the positive in something negative, they can learn to twist the negative into something good in the future. What happens next?

Once you've finished your pitch or presentation, your audience seems on the hook, and you're ready to close the deal. Now what? Joan says that people are so dedicated to finishing their pitch strong, selling their audience on the idea of what they can do for them, and trying to look like an expert, that they have no idea how to seal the deal. They don't want to seem pushy. So the conversation comes to a standstill, which allows the other person in the room to take control of the conversation.

You can't trust that anyone else will make the right decision, the one that benefits you, without your guidance. Sometimes the other person never makes a decision at all, which can feel like a slap in the face. So, make sure you continue to guide the whole process, from pitch to delivery.

What happens next is, is the phrase to use in this case. You'll outline the next steps, creating a series of actions they can follow easily to get them to follow through and complete the process of getting your product on the shelves or hire you to provide a service or to put your idea into work to become a reality. For example, what happens next is we get your contact information so you can receive what you need in a timely manner and then we schedule another meeting.

Don't forget to follow up with a closed-ended question when you ask for their contact details. This will assure the other person you still have control of the situation and it will subconsciously signal to them that they're going to move ahead with you. Just make sure the question is simple to answer.

This gives the other person a greater chance of answering because they feel like it's been a successful discussion and that you are the best choice for them getting what they need. What makes you say that? It's not a good business practice to fight with people, but some people are contrarians, looking to disagree at any opportunity.

Others just want to refute you because they think they're doing what's best for themselves. However, Jones says, most people are willing to give up a fight in favor of an easier road. To appropriately deal with the objections, it's important to know what their objections are.

Sometimes they don't want to deny you outright or don't want to make the decision right away. But allowing them to do this gives up your power in the discussion. You'll be forced to let them set the next terms, which means they might not ever come back to you for your idea, your product, or your service.

You have to be the person asking the questions if you want to be in control, Joan says. So treat the excuses like questions and ask a question in return to grab the power back. For example, the other person might say the following.

I don't have the time. It's not the right time. I'd like to check other places. I can't afford it right now.

I have to check with my partner first. Instead of trying to argue against those things, which are nearly impossible to disprove, How can you disprove their financial situation? Or what time they have to dedicate to you?

Ask them the right question. What makes you say that? There are specific questions you can ask about the excuses they give, but this phrase is powerful enough to cover just about anything they could throw at you.

By calling them out on their excuse, they'll feel obligated to expand on that excuse, giving you more information so you can suggest the next plan of action. That way, You'll be able to assure them that what you're offering won't be a burden on their time or their bank account, or you'll be able to help them decide to come back to you when they are free. Before you make your mind up, you can focus on getting someone to say maybe if you can't turn their no into a yes.

If you can tell the other person is leaning towards rejecting you, hit them with this. Before you make your mind up, that way you can bring them back to a neutral position. so they can find a way to say yes. You can keep the negotiation alive by giving them a chance to evaluate your proposal from a new perspective. It'll give you another opportunity to contextualize information they already have or to give them new information, especially if you pair this technique with the last chapters and learn more about where their doubts are coming from.

Your goal is to influence their decision in your favor, so the more information you have about what their decision is based on, the more effectively you can manipulate their choice to benefit yourself. Some examples. Before you make your mind up, let's review the facts.

Before you make your mind up, let's make sure you know the details of what you're turning down. Before you make your mind up, why don't you ask around about how this can benefit your family? If I can, will you? Show your prospect you're willing to go out of your way for their sake, and they just might be more willing to do the same for you.

Whether that means listening to your pitch or committing to you, offering what looks like a better price or a special deal can make all the difference. This happens in our personal lives, Jones says. For instance, if your friend can't go out because they're broke, you might say something like, if I cover you, then will you go out?

In this scenario, your friend has resigned themselves to powerlessness in the face of an outside force. But you can act as an outside force that gives them a chance to take some of that power back. When it comes to a customer's needs, however, you might say something like, if I can match the price you found online, then will you place an order with me?

You're not obligated to follow through, Jones says, but offering something that looks special to your potential customer will open them up. You'll be back in control of where the conversation goes next, and you'll probably get more honesty from your customer so you can work with them to negotiate. Then you can find the outcome you're looking for.

Enough. If you need your customers, clients, or teammates to decide about the quantity of your service, then you need enough. You can push the other person's limits and get a little more out of them than you might have otherwise.

Jones gives the example of deciding how many apples you should buy at the grocery store. If you're choosing between four and eight apples, just ask, Are eight apples enough? You wouldn't have to think about your answer. You'd know that yes, eight is enough, and you'd have your decision.

The scenario isn't a perfect one because four apples would also probably be enough. In business, however, Your goal is to make people want more of your product and not less. Although you may want the smaller number of apples so you don't overload on fruit, you might want to guide your customer to the larger amount. You want to make sure they have the right amount to keep them coming back for more. Jones gives another example.

Hoarding travel-sized shampoo and conditioner from hotels is one thing, but you're not going to go out and buy them. On the other hand, if you find a brand that offers deals on its full-sized bottles, That might be your new go-to. Jones says he worked with a company that wanted repeat customers for their beverage, but the customers were never sure whether they should buy two or three bottles. So, he suggested that the company's representatives ask if three will be enough.

If not, then more bottles might be necessary. If three is the magic number, then the discussion is finished and the decision made. Guide your customer to a place where saying yes is the easiest option. rather than negotiating around what number is the right one.

It will save you time and effort and get the results that you want. Just one more thing. To really succeed in business, you have to learn how to upsell.

Equally important, but often neglected, however, is the downsell. For example, using the Apple scenario from the last chapter, if your customer thought eight was too much, you may have to settle for them only buying four. If you want someone to commit to a contract, you might have to downsell them on a trial order. Or if you want to partner with someone, asking them to be a customer first might work.

Jones says Lt. Columbo, from the TV show Columbo, would interrogate his suspect, always casually, never pushing, by asking about harmless facts and usually agreeing with the suspect's creative theory to explain something they overlooked in a murder. For example, The victim's motive for doing something strange that was a mistake in the cover-up. The suspect thinks they're off the hook, and Columbo takes advantage of their guard being down.

Just one more thing, he says, and that's when he hits the suspect with the critical piece of information they're not prepared to rebut. You have to be Columbo in business. Get your prospect's guard down and hit them with something they can't refuse. If they think they've gotten away from committing, you make your way to the door, bring out the phrase, and entice them with the downsell. When the alternative is walking away with nothing, getting something from the deal is considered a win and a means to bring them back for the upsell later.

Here's some examples. Offer a product sample. Offer a small order to test it out. Ask them to stop by an event. Connect them with a contact.

Getting a favor or creating scarcity. A favor. Success is often a community effort, and sometimes the best way to convince someone to partner with you is to help them out.

Jones asks, How many times have you wished for someone to help you accomplish something that was just out of reach? The way to get someone's help is to ask directly. Could you do me a small favor?

By making sure the other person knows it won't be going out of their way or be a burden, you're likely to get them to agree. At least they'll be reasonably open to the idea. Even before they know what the favor is, it should work your way.

At worst, they'll want to know what the favor is before they commit. Once they've agreed, you could find yourself overwhelmed at the possibility of what to ask them, Jones says. For now, he focuses on referrals to grow your customer base.

Unfortunately, using your existing customer base to bring in new people is not a technique people use nearly enough. Jones suggests these reasons why that may be. They're lazy, they don't know when to ask, or they don't know how to ask.

But since you're the type of person who cares enough to pick up a book and make a change for yourself, Jones says you can't be lazy. So we move on to the other two options. There are plenty of good times to ask for referrals. As long as your customer is happy with you because of something you've done for them, you can take advantage of their desire to thank you, which indicates they feel they owe you something, to ask them.

They say thank you, and that's your cue to combine some of the other techniques you've learned. Jones breaks it down. Ask if they wouldn't mind doing a small favor. Would they happen to know, which gives them a reason to prove you wrong, one person, Because that's a reasonable task and they'll probably think of someone specific who, like you, which pays the other person a compliment and helps narrow down who you're looking for, might benefit from the benefit from a product, service, or idea you're offering.

Don't pressure them into giving up the other person's contact information right on the spot, but do ask who they were thinking of. That way, they'll remember that you asked about their contact. Follow up. by asking them to do another small favor. The next time they see that person, share a little bit about their experience and how it benefited them and if they are open-minded about getting in touch.

Remember chapter two on open-mindedness. Ask permission to follow up with them about their talk with their contact in a week. Start the conversation with chapter sevens.

I'm guessing you didn't get around to speaking with them and take your chance to get in touch with that contact. Even if it takes longer to set up the connection with your customer's contact, you'll have established a connection through your mutual contact already, and they should be primed for your pitch, because their trusted friend already sold them on how much you did for them. Just out of curiosity, Jones admits he is always frustrated when people tell him they need time to think before they decide.

Even though people shouldn't rush into decisions, he says, it's rarely the case that someone is about to go home and look over their options. Instead, it's a way of putting it off and not coming to a decision at all. The frustration comes when you consider all the time you've taken to get to this point.

Answering inquiries, taking meetings, pitching, learning about them, getting to know the challenges they're facing, suggesting how to overcome those issues, etc. Just to have your prospect blow you off without committing one way or the other. Jones feels this isn't fair, and the other party owes you more transparency in what they're thinking about considering all you've done to offer them whatever you're pitching out of the goodness of your heart. But because he doesn't want to sound obnoxious to their faces, Jones used to settle for hoping they'd come back to him eventually, assuring them there was no pressure. So Jones found a way to ask about their doubts to continue the discussion about how he could assuage their fears and shift the conversation back in his control.

The key, he says, is allowing them to answer honestly, without judging or assuming what they'll say. After asking, one of two things will happen. You'll get a long pause, and then their honest answer, or you'll get a longer pause, and they come back with something like, You're right.

There's nothing standing in the way right now. Because you've asked them the question they didn't want to ask themselves, you give them the power to make the decision you both knew was the right one. Some examples. Just out of curiosity, what specifically do you have to think about?

Just out of curiosity, what do you need to feel good about making this decision? Just out of curiosity, what's stopping you from moving forward now? After reading these phrases for manipulating the conversation in your favor, Jones says, you're likely aware of the importance of finding the right ones when you need them.

But there's something else he wants you to know, and it's not a magic word. You don't need to have the answer. You just need an answer. Jones tells the story of Roger, a man who was at the forefront of change to digital phones, and how he was inundated with questions about how the technology worked.

When he'd rattle off the technical aspects, the science behind it all, the people asking would go blank, unable to keep up. So, when they would ask how it worked, he'd just say that it works great. The customers would be delighted, and he'd get to keep the conversation in his favor.

You don't have to give specifics. Just give them something that will boost their confidence. Of course, Jones says, this advice works. But it won't work with every person, every time. But, with practice and dedication, You'll be able to identify when they'll make a difference in your business and your life.

Transcript for:Influential Phrases for Business Success

Transcript for:
Influential Phrases for Business Success