it takes two to make a thing go right it takes two to make it out of sight it takes two to make a thing go right it takes two to make it out sight hi welcome to another episode of the men Fiona show thank you so much for joining us we're incredibly happy that you're here as always which I neglected to mention last week off the top please like follow sub subscribe share all of those fun things on YouTube Facebook Instagram Apple podcast Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts we should be there okay wonderful you do the work so going to go with it today we are going to jump into a delightful topic yes that I will do my best not to get into too much trouble with yeah let's see how this works I'll fail it's fine I'm good at that it's a good topic it's a great topic I'll just very meaningful topic what's in a name what's in a name mhm all right so let me set the stage take it away Matthew h um all too often the story I hear from people oh is I went into business with this person and it started out great and it turned out terribly or I got into a relationship or a friendship or I trusted this individual or I hired this company because they had a fish on their truck to come in and do a renovation for me and they were terrible and they were terrible people and they never called me back and I just couldn't believe it because they were Christian Christians if you had made eye contact we could have done that at the same time three two Christians perfect I'll splice that together for a real um and essentially what this boils down to is you can go and watch any award show uh yeah uh and the majority of people especially if you watch a country music one will get up on stage and they'll they'll take their award and they'll they'll hold it up and go oh my gosh I've been wanting one of these since I was a kid and now I've won it and I just want to thank the Lord and they may be sincere we don't we don't know and I'm not here to judge that no but subsequently following that I will hear from multiple people at some point of oh my gosh I didn't realize that that individual was a Christian but they thank the Lord in their acceptance speech and thus they must be a Bible toing Christian stand up mhm and maybe they are we don't I don't know right yes but what I hear all too often is this thought process that every Christian is created by their name yep or by their self declaration mhm is the same as any other Christian right so we can have talks with people and they will you know again to use the example of the Renault situation be like man I hired this company to do my roof and they did a terrible job and it leaked and then they wouldn't come back and I just can't believe they do that to a fellow Christian right and I have to stop that conversation right there and go whoa whoa whoa who whoa I politely don't care if they were a Christian did you check the references did you Googled them to see if they had any reviews online did you did you literally do any due diligence at all other than see a fish logo on their truck and go oh they must be great at what they do and and they must be honorable standup right people and again this is going to sound harsh to most M but I know all kinds of people that are quote unquote Christians yes who I would never know due to my inter interpretation and the way I walk out my Christian faith right I would not look at them and go oh my gosh we're the same right I'd likely go huh I I had a friend a couple years ago and we never became close right we had a like we were acquaintances and then it was like oh maybe we'll be friends and then very quickly we've drifted apart because and not in this was not the only reason right but they knew I were was a Christian they're like oh I'm a Christian too I'm like cool right and again that didn't persuade or no it didn't affect the relationship in any way but it was just a cool it was an additional thing we had in common right right MH and we started hanging out and the more we talked the more I realized that they were a Christian in their own mind yes they hadn't attended a church even online right in like three years right they had gone for one of their daughters like christenings that was the last time their daughter was seven by the time I was there right right like and in their mind we were the same yep which again I'm not saying they weren't they were they he and his family were really nice they were standup they were polite they were respectful right they didn't have any weird things that would make you go wow that's a terrible person right but they just they use that tag or that label and there was no substance behind it right at all it was a title it wasn't based upon a relationship not at all and I think so often as you know when you're young and when you're in college or university or entering the work field right like just when you're young single Etc right it's really easy to have a huge stable of friends right um as you progress in your life cycle for lack of a better term right once you get married and you have some kids and d da d d da typically you find that you start to lose friends so in our case we had we had a fair amount of friends right long like after we got married mhm as all of our other friends had kids mhm and we did not have kids yet mhm we just started a apart from all them mhm for no other reason they got busy they got busy we got busy we got busy we we lived in different areas yes life shifts and life changes and that's okay oh yeah life evolves life evolves yes in our lifestyle evolved our you know our relationship evolved all of these things and you drift away so as we're you know the age we are now and our kids are the age that they are yes we are not that we're always looking for friends that makes it sound weird but we realize that we only have a handful of friends right and what I find very comical is oddly enough people try to matchmake with me a lot like oh you should be friends with these people I'm glad we pointed this same great um and typically what comes next is you're a Christian and they're CHR Christian and I go cool like well that's great right I'm like sure maybe and then subsequently you meet that person and go yeah we're not the same right and again not that that's it's not a judgment people down no it's not a judgment at all but it is a we make a lot of Life Choices and we live our life in a certain way and it's very difficult to find like-minded people right or people who just gel well right right and then when you do it's fantastic MH but so often because church is such a big part of our life and our Christian walk is such a identity factor for us it's who we are it very quickly becomes that that link that so many people try to use and like we have a friend and she's in you know in a decent church and we continually hear these stories about you know well I was talking to this person and we were starting to get together and like they're a wonderful Christian and then six months later it's like well hey do you ever talk to so and so again oh my gosh no yeah why not well I thought they were a Christian but they do you know insert list of other things that you know they don't agree with right it's like well yeah like just because they show up to church maybe right or just because they tell you they're a Christian doesn't necessarily mean that that means anything yep right I know a lot of people that tell me that they're a Christian and they're Catholic well and which again fine yeah but the whole the whole point of this well not the whole point of this but the entire point the entire the enti to one sentence phe um no but it what we're what we're trying to get at is not all Christians are created equal right right and the way we choose to live our lifestyle is very biblical right mhm um and we have made choices in our life right a decided to follow Jesus have decided to sorry follow Jesus oh you got to be it's deeper Jesus um but our lifestyle we put God first right M and in our marriage in raising our children we believe in prayer where we believe in church attendance and our lifestyle in every aspect reflects that MH and we are not going to compromise our relationship with Jesus for other people yeah right um this is not to say that we won't get together with people and that if you're not a Christian we will never oh I have a bunch of friends that aren't Christians right um but we are never going to allow other people to impact our life right they are never going to take us away like you want to do something on a Sunday morning that's the only time you're good well sorry we're never going to do anything because we are never going to compromise yeah that M right when it comes to scheduling anything that we do church is in first and that's where we're going to be um you know obviously when we go visit my mom and stuff like that there are those exceptions but we've chosen a lifestyle of which we honor our our Lord and savior we've chosen to follow Jesus sorry just keep to it no but we have chosen a Biblical lifestyle that's how we choose to raise our kids we're not alone in that and if that's how you have chosen to walk at your Christian walk you're not alone in it either but I've had people friends family who are Christians and they get very excited because they do they meet somebody who is a Christian and what happens is they allow their guard down oh yeah it's an instant it's an instantaneous oo okay I can be you know let my guard down but when you let your guard down too soon mhm that can in the in the long run have quite a negative effect um I've also I've known people and for anybody who's single man first of all I can't imagine um because you scored so well I scored so well that's exactly where I was going with this um you're welcome you know the world has shifted and changed and you know being able to actually learn and figure out who people are can be very tricky these days um is tricky and tricky tricky but you know I mean I have known women who they're just well he was a Christian so therefore we're good we're good yeah yeah we're good it doesn't matter like they're Christian so we're just going to go with it without analyzing or looking at their fruit well looking Beyond just the title yeah looking just beyond their title right yeah for sure and there's such a gosh what's the word or phrase I'm looking for um we do ourselves a disservice MH by not trying to understand where somebody is in their Christianity yeah because we are all in a different place and that even goes with friends and not to say you can't be friends with a somebody who's just starting or just came to know Jesus and by all means friend them encourage them build them up right um but you need to be careful who you're allowing to speak into your your life in what they think is appropriate because if you're not careful you're going to let the wrong things in your life the wrong relationships in your life and what's going to what can ultimately wind up happening is that that Christian by name can start pulling you away from Christ instead of being somebody who builds you up and brings you closer and again it's something where and I I'm going to use a like a work example for my life for a second okay right because it it's the validation in the the looking deeper at at at any relationship or situation right right um in in my AV company we do a lot of work with churches right whether it's consulting or installs or sales or service or whatever and we come after a lot of other companies we do a lot of fixing y right and most of the time when I start to have conversations with whoever the decision maker is whether it's the pastor the board or you know a technical director whatever right it's and it happens more unfortunately in the smaller churches than it does in the bigger churches but in the smaller churches it's a Well we had this good Christian brother and he told us that they could do this whatever this is right and typically this is something that's not working that they spent a lot of money which is why you are in which why we get the call yep and every time as we're we're kind of doing our due diligence ahead of time and and in the meetings and the walkthroughs I go well okay so who was the who installed this Who Sold you this oh a good Christian brother like like do they have a company right like was it just a guy who says he's a was it somebody in your church oh no no but he's a good Christian I'm like okay I'm glad he's a good Christian but does he know is he qualified but does he know anything about audio video does he do they work in churches do they have insurance all of these things right right yep and typically most of those things are a no and when I ask the question of okay so how did you select that person to do this install or sell you this stuff well you know they were just such a good Christian brother and again it sounds like I'm picking on them and I'm not it's you typically wouldn't do this with your doctor right right you wouldn't walk into your doctor and be like some random person in a white coat sir or ma'am are you a Christian and if they say yes you go all right cut me right you'd want to know okay where did you go to school what kind of doctor are you are you a surgeon have you done this before or are you a podiatrist right because if you're a pediatrist I don't want you to cut my chest open doctor there's very many different we need some qualifications we need some certifications we want to know you know what you're doing yes right but when when I'm selling to churches so often they just hire some random person who's a good quote unquote Christian and I'm not I have no problem with that I'm glad that they hired a good Christian brother yes my concern is that typically that good Christian brother has no idea what they're doing and they never did any due diligence to make sure that that Christian label that they have on their life in the application of selling an audio video solution had any Val validity validity right yeah so you can take that and use that in any relationship any friendship any business application it is fantastic that you're doing business with a fellow Christian but hopefully that fellow Christian that you're trying to do business with is certified to do what they do or they're good at what they do right right and that you're not taking that one label as the be all and end all to their Proficiency in whatever it is that you're doing again we've got to recognize that not all Christians as we've said are created equal there's a lot of flaky ones and deception no a lot a lot most of them oh my gosh see he said he wasn't going to get himself in trouble and then said but he was going get himself in trouble hopefully 30% of the audience is still here oh my gosh cuz I read analytics but see now I lost my train of thought because most people are flaky what hey now we'll know when that hate mail starts coming in oh yes we'll know yes but don't be taken off course yeah by that title M don't let your guard down because of that title don't be deceived because of that title do the due diligence you normally so here's the thing well he knew the Bible the enemy knows the Bible he believes in God yeah the enemy believes in God right and I know it's fine no no no it's good what I was doing work earlier this year in a religious building yes that is not our faith at all yes like arguably the complete opposite M I know enough in that environment to talk the talk with them right right right M and I am not at all anywhere near that Faith right but I can walk in and talk the talk which is not to say that I deceive them by any means because to their credit they were hiring our company because we're really good at what we do yes not because we were a member of their religion right right yes but I can talk they hired you because of reputation yes I can talk the talk from the religious aspect to get along with them and understand their needs and their um requirements based on how their religion functions right right right it doesn't mean like if they had hired me just off that I would have got the job too mhm because I can talk that talk cuz I understand it right right you'd be amazed at how often heck and again not to stay in the AV space but I have a bunch of friends who are atheists who have AV companies that talk the Christian talk better than most Christians I know oh and they're atheists right but they sell to churches so they know how to talk they know the verbage they know the word they know the wording heck I got a friend who knows Bible not better than me but pretty darn close we can go Toe to Toe well and they're a hardcore atheist there was a conversation that I had today about somebody from a completely different religion oh I want to know later okay um but their understanding yep of biblical principles Bible stories and I know for a fact anyway yep but she could have fooled most yeah very easily could have fooled fooled most deception is at an all-time high and I hate to say it well and I don't think sorry not to I don't think most people are trying to deceive no but it's it's more that so many Christians are not Discerning emotional yes right they want and this is a good like this is a good thing most Christians want to do business with other Christians they want to be friends with other Christians and their Circle at their Church might be small right right so they want to meet other Christians and be friends with other Christians which is this is which great again this is just more of a point of we've watched some people fall in certain directions because they've given way or they've given too much attention and energy to people who are Christians by name mhm but not necessarily by fruit one the worst thing is by walk if you're a a casual friend that's great yes but when you when you start listening and taking advice and doing all these things and they have your you give them your ear well you you give them your ear and you're giving them your ear with a added you're you're giving them added validity right because they are quote unquote a Christian yep so you're going oh they must have a great a great word for me or even just advice yes because they're such a good Christian I should listen regardless of the fact I mean I've known people who have been caught off course oh so easily because they feel as though the God is love the ad the advice the recommendations mhm are coming from carries so much weight because that person is a Christian and at times it's even gone against Pastor recommendations I argue it mostly goes against pastoral and biblical but here's the thing if it doesn't line up with God's word first of all well then no mhm also if your pastors ever warned you about a certain people or warned you or have has AR risen had has had some concern brought forth to you oh gosh right we've had so many we not all Christians are created equal and we cannot allow just that term when somebody says oh man I'm a Christian too we can't let our guard down we need to be wise in our decision and again I'm I'm going to be perfectly honest I am somebody who I probably my barrier is probably a little bit too thick but because of that don't no I saw my barrier might be a little bit too thick um and I I probably overanalyze some things a little too much but also I want to make sure that I don't get burned so I'm going to do my due diligence now let me tell you I can be kind and friendly and all of the above I'm not rude to people but I am going to guard myself my life because my life also then involves my marriage it involves my children so I am going to guard who I allow to have voices into my me yeah very carefully because I know that if you let the wrong voices in if you let the wrong people people giving you advice in it can destroy or hinder or hurt families and marriages so I not only need to protect myself I need to protect us and I need to Pro protect them so yeah I my barrier may be a little thick but I have seen time and time again people fall people hurt people destroyed because they didn't allow a barrier or they didn't allow discernment they didn't yeah they didn't try to prot protect themselves because that one phrase man I'm a Christian they may even go to church we've had in the city we've had a quote unquote a former Pastor who's wrot written the religious column in the newspaper oh for years M after leaving his church and um resending his um that's not the right term but essentially he he turned into an atheist right he gave up on God and became an atheist and continued to write the religious column in the paper MH as a quote unquote title of a pastor right and we would have people in our church who would bring in be like hey can we post this this pastor's you know article from from this week's paper y on the community bulletin board like the guy who is an atheist no he's a good Christian no he's not no not anymore but also this this also this brings a good point be careful who you listen to Just because there's a pastor that you find on YouTube or wherever you need to have some discernment with that as well you need to be so careful who you allow into your life who you allow into your mind who you allow to have your ear because just because someone tells you they are something does not mean that they that Jesus Christ himself would say the same thing full disclosure our show is completely uh approved by our pastor yes not everything I say is approved by our pastor but the show in general the concept we're good we've never gotten completely uh out on anything no not once no not once but needless to say this is just one of those warnings because we've watched a time again time again again kind of just stemmed from conversations we've had about man somebody else taken out because they let their guard down by somebody who was a Christian yep but we we want to know what God's what yeah how Jesus would view somebody yep and we want to protect ourselves and we want you to be protected as well so not all Christians are created equal you need to look at the fruit of the people use some discernment just keep keep some protection between you and people really be aware yeah of who they are how they behave don't give them a pass just because they say they're a Christian yes right there don't give him a pass right there uh we are going to wrap it there thank you so much for joining us today uh as always you can like follow subscribe share all of those things on all of your favorite platforms uh if you've gotten this far otherwise we will see you next week on another episode of the man Fiona show thanks again for watching we'll see you soon bye bye [Music] done