Friendship and 'Ketchup Friends'

Key Concept: 'Ketchup Friends'

Definition: Friends you meet every 3-6 months, often just to catch up on what has transpired in each other's lives.
Nature of Meetups: Meetings are often like brief summaries of life events, quickly covering the basics but lacking depth.
Feeling: Some people feel their friendships devolve to catchup sessions, losing the deeper, day-to-day bond.
Causes: Adult responsibilities, jobs, distances, and differing life phases contribute to friendships turning 'ketchup'.
Challenge: Talking about meaningful topics (philosophy, politics) is avoided during catchups as they feel out of context.

Thinks it's inevitable as adults can't afford to spend as much time together as in school.
Misses the deep, daily bonds from university when friends 'journeyed together' through ups and downs.
Feels saddened by friendships becoming superficial.

Disagrees with the negativity around 'ketchup friends', finding deep conversations can happen during rare meetups.
Views friendships as having different 'objectives' — fun times versus deep connections.

Observes that conversations with 'ketchup friends' often become repetitive and lacking evolution.
Believes truly listening and remembering past discussions is crucial for these meetups.
Finds value in reflecting on personal growth when retelling past events to 'ketchup friends'.

Voice Notes: Uses voice notes to share long stories, avoiding the need to repeatedly type them out.

Creating Anchor Moments: Creating shared experiences and memories through activities — trips, outings, meaningful engagements.
Regular Check-ins: Send small updates or 'bits of connection' regularly to maintain the relationship outside of big catchups.

Feels auditing friendships is necessary to find those worth investing in.
Emphasizes effort as key in maintaining relationships, worrying both about giving and receiving it adequately.
Recognizes that every friendship has different stages and one's effort and expectations should adjust accordingly.

Believes in putting 100% effort into chosen friends but struggles with the varying reciprocation levels.
Finds balance between making effort and respecting friends' boundaries challenging.

Shares story of friends in different life phases, leading to changed dynamics (e.g. one became a pastor).
Accepts that not all friendships are meant to last forever but can evolve into different forms.
Encourages recognizing when to let go to focus on more fulfilling relationships.

Discussion around the exclusivity and expectations of 'best' friends vs. a circle of close friends.
Pain and frustration from not having mutual 'best friends'.
Idea that having a group of close friends might be more fulfilling over time than seeking singular 'best friends'.

Acceptance: Understanding that friendships can change and evolve over time due to various life circumstances.
Effort: Key to maintaining friendships is continuous effort, open communication, and creating new shared experiences.

Spend conscious effort in creating new memories with friends through shared activities.
Use voice notes for lengthy updates when texting feels cumbersome.
Regularly send small updates or memes to maintain continuous contact between big catchup sessions.
Recognize when it's time to let go of friendships that no longer bring mutual joy or growth.