empty is a sign that you're not doing nothing enough once the car hits e the car is incapable of going anywhere and it's almost like it's God's way of saying right right I don't need the car to go anywhere right now you could have stayed with more in your tank if you just would have pulled over to the side of the road the three times I tried to tell you over the last 3 weeks stop and sit with me it doesn't matter when we arrive yep what matters is that we arrive that's good what's up everybody Welcome to the leaders cut as you can already see we're back we're back we are back we're back like we never left like we never left yep absolutely you had a lot of things going on this last I mean my guy it's been a year you've climbed some hills this last nine months y uh but if you're new to the leader cut and you don't already know this is my twin Mr Tim Ross the Beloved Tim Ross which those those words that name mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people but they mean something to me different than almost everybody el else on the earth it's true uh this is literally my twin my best friend on planet Earth I love when we get to sit down because it seems like the Holy Spirit um well we get to pull up a seat at his table when we sit down and and so that's our goal that's our heart let's pray cuz we're going to jump into this thing I guarantee you you me we're all going to get cut on just a little bit during this episode all right so let's invite the spirit of God into this conversation Holy Spirit have your way yes Lord whatever you want wherever you want to go whatever you want to say whatever you want to ask for we just want you to get what you want starting with us holy spirit have your way yes Lord cut on my flesh and every part of My Flesh that is getting in your way and Lord for those who are battling exhaustion right now I just pray at the front end of this episode that your spirit oh God would be so tangibly present wherever they are right now that it would take their breath away yes Lord Holy Spirit invade the the place and space where they are right now especially those who are one to tap out Holy Spirit do whatever you want we're here for you we are not here for us we give this time to you we yield ourselves to you in Jesus name amen amen amen amen you were praying somebody I hey that's how you get down hey this this uh obviously we've been talking the last nine months so we haven't taken a nine month break they just haven't gotten to see us that's true have our time that's very true uh We've navigated over our decade and a half plus together we've navigated some exhausting Seasons um um some simultaneously yep and others where you were going through it or I was going through it there wasn't let's talk let's spend a little time today talking about exhaustion and let's start with because I feel like we have to normalize it a little bit sometimes when we get exhausted we feel it's because we're weak right and we forget so let me ask you let me pose you this first question Y how do we get exhausted and why how do we get there why why have I gotten to an exhausted Place let's walk through some of the different paths to exhaustion all right so the first thing that comes to mind is um being at the gym and when I was with a personal trainer um there were certain days where she wanted me to do a certain exercise to the point of exhaustion which meant I can't do another rep and whether that's a leg curl a bicep curl it's great tricep you know whatever we're working on here's the thing that's crazy I didn't even think about this until I'm talking about it right now um she would give me the lightest weight and tell me to do it until exhaustion so we're not even talking about heavy weight so she would put the rack on like 10 lbs and like just keep doing it to exhausting I literally step into it like this is cake about to give you 60 right but that same repeated motion over and over again around 30 35 MH I my legs are telling me I bet you don't get to 60 right right my mind's trying to go oh no we're going to get there around between 48 and 52 fire yeah so so when we think about exhaustion we we are usually thinking you got something heavy going on but you could have something light but it's so repetitive you're still as tired so great as if it was something heavy yeah that to me the picture like I think about the parent who is in a difficult season with a child mhm and maybe the needs of this child are a little bit different than other children and so it it's just a daily weight to carry and it and it's not the heaviest weight in the history of humanity but it's a consistent weight to carry yeah and the enemy coming in and being like you're just not strong enough to carry this weight yeah that that isn't the point yep for sure the consistency of this weight that you've carried it this consistently yep it's actually a good sign that you're exhausted right because if you hadn't been carrying it this whole time you wouldn't be so exhausted really good so my mind goes to there I'll give you another thought about how I think we get to exhaustion I think there are certain things God intentionally wants us to experience exhaustion in the midst of here's why when we're on a hot streak so to speak mhm sometimes I think we get a little too convinced that it's because of us oh for sure I've been guilty of that you've been guilty of that I mean you're just absolutely you're on a heater yeah absolutely it's going longer than you ever thought it would absolutely and without realizing it it's like oh yeah and without exhaustion I would begin to think I was Superman yeah I'm doing this and I think I've had to intentionally hit a wall where the Lord was like oh you're being reminded of what you're capable of without me mhm exhaustion is not a bad thing it's a reminder of of some really good things first Lord I need you mhm second this weight isn't going anywhere yeah I've got to keep carrying this weight third I would say it makes me think about what weights I shouldn't be carrying yeah for sure Timmy when you're exhausted you're not thinking about when you burned out your legs your body wasn't saying okay it's chest day now right right right right right and yet in the church world with Believers it's it's like I nope I got to keep carrying more weights no you're exhausted dog that's exactly right you need to pull back yeah yeah not put more weight on it is not more Godly to put on more weight when you have less energy sometimes we just need to sit yeah for sure and maybe even sit a lap out yeah absolutely what do you feel like it is for believers especially when they get to a place of exhaustion why do you think so many of us just try and push through it because everything in our Western Society has supported us to do that so we are actually commended for going the extra mile yeah right and so that's on your job that's on your you know you can work a job and then it's like I'm going to pick up another shift or we got mandatory overtime depending on what feel field you kind of work in right if you're entrepreneur you I have to I'm the first one in I'm the last one out this business is on me right and I I got employees but I still got to show it so and and this part of the world commends that I'm learning Spanish right now and my teacher lives in Spain and there's a siesta every day and they they ain't working like us like they we have vacations that will never be forced to take and we make excuses not to take yeah they have holidays yeah that they are looking forward to right on January 1st yeah and they're going to be going for like two and a half months because it's a proper holiday it ain't gonna be none of this two week garbage that we got on this side of the world right so this side of the world has to fight against that corporate grind culture hustle culture I'm working it's working and it's like okay that that's that might be uh Western culture it definitely isn't Kingdom culture yeah Kingdom culture is to cash your cares Kingdom culture is to walk not run right Kingdom culture culture is to depend on the Holy Spirit to do stuff that you think you got to do for 15 16 17 hours yeah so it's it's um it's a mindset that we all have but we all have to acknowledge it and then break it yeah or it won't change what do you feel when we talk about uh this mindset of I am better if I carry more weight how do we burst a hole in that and get back to you know you know what's actually the most Godly thing to carry the weights he's asked you to carry and nothing more nothing more he will not Grace me right he will not anoint me right to carry weights he hasn't asked me to carry that's right when I when I talk to guys who are men or women who have hit the wall so to speak one of the first things I ask is what are you carrying that he didn't ask you to carry I I don't ask him what do you like to carry what are you what are you carrying that he did not ask you to carry and is it possible that a percentage of your exhaustion actually came from Disobedience now it's not what someone typically wants to hear when they've hit a wall but it's like hey if you're having to do an audit a personal weight audit man I start with what am I caring right well there's this one thing I really wanted to do yeah did God ask no but but I mean at some point he's going to ask me yeah but not right now right and you're dying on the vine right because you're taking fuel for this right and moving it over here where God is Not Just Not only not blessing it he might be opposing it yeah absolutely all right so I I didn't think this was going to happen like this but this is like I've been thinking about something for probably two or three weeks because I'm a very sequ person I like the order of things and I find this very interesting this is Hebrews chapter number 12 verse number one and I went back to New King James so NT still yep ride or die in my heart but I had to go back to New King James I didn't go all the way back to King James I I didn't want to it comes out every once in a while yeah I didn't want to rough ride you know what I mean I I didn't want the the the Honda Civic on a you know on a desert road but uh the order of it right therefore we also since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses let us lay aside every weight and the sin which so easily ens snares us and let us run with endurance The Wraith that is set before us weight came before sin but it's very very clear weight is not sin so a lot of our exhaustion is because we are carrying weights longer and farther than we were ever supposed to carry him and he's saying you need to lay that aside oh and sin too don't let either one of these be the obstacle that doesn't allow you to run with endurance like there there's nobody that was at the Olympics that had on a backpack yeah that's a different there is no specialty for that there's length but there's not weight 100 200 400 800 5,000 m 10,00 there's length there's not weight and where there's weight there's not length absolutely correct the weightlifters feet their feet don't move AB they that weight they put it back down that's exactly right that's exactly right that's exactly right so there is there is something about this weight that was important enough for the writer of Hebrews to be like I need to bring attention to this I'm GNA put it before sin and we're we're very sin conscious Society shocking right that way would come before s like it is so disruptive to me yeah because we've been preaching we we're good at preaching against sin maybe we need to be pre preaching against some weight you need to get that weight off you it might be literal weight mm that you need to lay aside it's hindering you from the purpose and plan that God has for your life it may be Financial weight that you need to lay aside this debt is crippling you and this and for some of us okay maybe we were in a tight scenario situation but for others of us you just don't have discipline in this area and now it's become a weight and it's affected your faith it's affected the way you need to believe God you have worry you have doubt you have fear under the weight you put yourself right in financially you may have relational weight because you're still holding a secret that you haven't shared with your spouse because you think if you share it the relationship's going to be over well now you're acting out a version of your relationship that is not authentic because this other person hasn't been given the gift of making a decision to stay with you based on who you truly are right then the person you're acting like you are so that's what this is for me right now it's the weights we got to we got to identify what is our weight yeah in every season what's the weight that could creep in that can make me cramp out yeah yeah yeah welcome back twin yeah it happens okay so I mean I already know where half your brain is this episode is going to end up turning right at my face I can already tell and I know you're already thinking it because of what we're talking about before we record so I'm just going to I'm going to I'm going to own it yep um so so talk to me for a minute because what I hear you saying when you say okay essentially we got to go through this audit what weight am I carrying what weights have I created for myself yep I love the way you said it it's not just what weights of I caring that God didn't ask me to what weight have I created for myself absolutely correct some of our own habits create absolutely unnecessary weights facts okay absolutely and if you knew things were going to get harder for instance when the people of Israel were leaving Egypt if if God would have given them a four-year heads up how might they have prepared differently for a 40-year journey if you had 4 years to prepare right but because we're ignorant and we don't know the end from the beginning we don't know what's coming tomorrow sometimes we put off today's growth thinking tomorrow isn't going to bring any new length or weight and so we just go ah it's okay and by doing so we create more weight yep for ourselves but what do we do with the weight when you feel your buckling under the weight you actually feel God's called you to carry so we're talking about the stuff we got to get rid of over here yeah let's pivot to what then there are the weights I can't get out of all right so I got let okay this happens between us this is we're at the Cheesecake Factory right now I'm just telling you that right now we've not even ordered the knew I needed to be a Cheesecake Factory we are at Cheesecake Factory right now cuz I can't even get to your question until I deal with this picture in my head of the children of Israel because they came out of Egypt with weight on them it was gold they wind up staying in the wilderness with the weight of Disobedience that goal was meant for the Tabernacle but because of their Disobedience that gold wound up being for a calf so the weight that he put on you that you're supposed to carry the god-given weight if you're not obedient you will turn it into something he has not asked for before you've even heard what he's requesting we don't even get to Arc of the Covenant the outer Court the inner Court the holy of holies and they have made something for themselves with weight that was god-given they came out with the GDP of Egypt on their back that's that that's why in Exodus I think it's 33 when he starts saying Hey I want you I want the people of Israel to give an offering for this Tabernacle he had to tell them to stop why did they keep who has riches in a Wilderness oh the people that emptied the banks in Egypt they got money right so he he weighed them down with something that was supposed to be used for his glory and his purpose but because of their Disobedience they turned it into something else yeah so I think when God gives us an assignment and a responsibility if we're disobedient we will turn it into something else gold that was meant for an arc now turns into gold for a calf and it's what we can design remember Moses had to hear right they didn't have to hear for the calf they built something they knew they built something they were familiar with they built something that was comfortable to them but if you going to build this Tabernacle though make sure you build it according to my pattern which means it it already exists I'm asking you to take very crude elements compared to heaven and I want you to make something here that already exists I want you to make something there I'll say it that way I want you to make something there that exists here MH but you got to follow my instructions right and it would be a casa wood and shamwood and gold and goat skins and it's not going to look exactly like it looks up here but if you build it according to my pattern I will come dwell there I will move in I will move in to goat skin I will move in to Wood now my streets are paved with gold it's the best you got down here it's asphalt up here right but so so when you when you ask this question the thought I'm having is how many of us have a word from God or or an assignment from God and we weigh ourselves down with what we think it should look like right because a lot of it comes out of insecurity I don't think nobody gets into Ministry to like mess it up I don't think nobody's like getting into this trying to Fumble the will of God for their lives but we we will overthink it we will project we will talk ourselves out of we will talk ourselves into right we will just he said what he said and then we'll just be like but I think what he means I almost married the wrong woman off of that the holy the Holy Spirit told me that's your wife exact words to a woman that was 13 years older than me I pursue her cuz I got a word we actually date she thinks she's a little bit crazy I'm thinking I'm a little bit crazy but I'm like if this is the Lord I don't care we have a breakup this is in 98 I'll never forget as long as I live we have a breakup on in December of 1998 and I'm brokenhearted and uh then the New Year comes in I'm like Lord why' you let me go through this and you said and the Lord and the Lord goes goes I never told you that was your wife I said nah fam you ain't about to do this to me yes you did you did say that was going to be my wife he said I never told you that was your wife I said you told me that was my wife he said exactly you heard what I said but you didn't know what I meant I told you that was your wife in the same way somebody would say doesn't this person remind you of hey that's Preston right there oh he acts just like Preston that's not Preston he told me that in January I laid eyes on Juliet February I said hello to her in April the rest his history the woman he pointed out was the same height same shape and same disposition and mannerisms everything except this one was three years younger than me yeah this one was 13 years older than me so sometimes when we hear what God is telling us that doesn't mean we know what he means yeah we heard what he said we don't know what he means thank you Holy Spirit [Music] um I'm imagining this I'm not saying that I'm not trying to insert anything Adam and Eve have sinned in Genesis 3 the seed of the woman shall bruis the head of the serpent and he shall bruises Hill do you not can we can we safely assume that they thought C was him and nobody thinking 4,000 years down the line they don't know that right can can we safely assume after Abel it's either Cain or Abel but then Cain kills Abel so it ain't Abel and then kan's on the run and then they have Seth can we safely assume it must be Seth our limited finite mind we don't know we heard you I don't know what you mean and if we're not patient we make up our own narrative that's how we get ishmail I this whole time I've been thinking about ishma that you covered Disobedience that one of the unnecessary weights that we carry is disobedience ishma is a that is a weight we carry that is unnecessary absolutely unnecessary and Ishmael is a misinterpretation of a word God gives absolutely correct it isn't just we think about manipulation it's taking matters in our own hands it's a misinterpretation and a and a gross misapplication 100% When God says this is what I'm going to do and then their thought is okay that was your part now we have to go do our part and according to our limited thinking we're going to put the best plan together that we can y I can't get pregnant Y the second best thing come over here yeah absolutely come here yeah yeah how many times we create these misinterpretation misapplication and then we got to live with it yes there's a lot of ishs out here homeboy I would rather go the slow route yep with no ishs yep and I have to wait for my Isaac yep then have to I I don't even want to get too specific because it may H too close to home I get it but pay spiritual child support which ishmail is still being paid buddy don't do that hey don't do that dog don't do that let it be a reminder in perpetuity in perpetuity it's going to cost me you ain't got a calculator big enough n fam to calculate n the cost of n an ish yeah absolutely but then it's almost like we we act like it's Godly but it's another child no no no it's not the child God was wanting to give and it's not Apples to Apples that's not like adopting a child created it's a golden calf another absolutely correct just in human form absolutely correct and it became a weight right yeah bro and rather than learn how to get strong enough to carry that weight she ran him off and I think that's what we see a lot with people who have hit the wall and are experiencing exhaustion there's just a lot of tapping out I mean what are the stats on how many people leave Ministry every single year right I mean it's it's it's because of the okay all right let's go slow some of the people tapping out should have never tapped in yeah so let's deal with that first right A lot of these people that start out in Ministry and then tap out of ministry is because they should have never been in Ministry yeah like that pressure is already a unique pressure that weight got Gog given if it's a god-given assignment there's already a weight that has to be managed and you got to figure out how long can I stand up under it and then when do I got to put this weight back on the rack yeah you know what I mean I'm talking about that dead squat now you know what I mean I've I've gotten up under some weight and lifted it up and taken two steps back and thought to my my leg said hey I don't know what right take three of these wheels off I don't know who you thought you were that ain't you that ain't me if we go down we ain't coming up these bird legs are snapping underneath that way they're about to they're about to rip right so and that's with a call from God right if you just volunteered it's about to be seven sons of SAA yeah you're out of here so so even even under here's my question for you what is it look look like cuz we we've addressed the disobedient weight and the sinful weight and whatever okay what do you do with the weight that is god-given that you're trying to manage cuz that gets you tired too right the the assumption is well if I don't sin and if I'm not being disobedient then I should be able to how could I ever get exha if I just do it the right way I'll never get exhausted doing it oh you're going to get exhausted anyway you're going to get twice as exhausted cuz you won't even realize you've been exhausted this whole time that's exactly right it's exactly right it's so true yeah I I think we have to look at here's what I think as Believers many of us don't do a great job preparing we just think God God Will Carry Me Through like I I get that there's a Divine enablement and and a Grace from Heaven I get it but I believe in the absolute sovereignty of God and the responsibility of man facts this is the theological tension I hold it's not just well God will if he calls me to it he'll Carry Me Through It how many times do we hear that growing up that is actually setting people up for faure for failure absolute failure it takes away your Humanity that's right that's exactly right oh God I love you it's all focused on God if you call me to it it'll Carry Me Through It Well I yes I I get it but not if you don't do what you need to do not at the expense of pace yeah not not at the expense of planning yeah here's how I say it to to the younger ones when no matter what their calling is business Ministry home no matter what it is when they say I feel like God's given me just a huge calling great and I love that but I've actually learned a litmus test for what you actually believe the size of your calling is your preparation mhm and it if you're not prepared MH you can't finish the race well right I think everyone's so quick Timmy to to want to start the race that there's so many false starts right now and now I pivot to David Timmy he was anointed to be king that's right as a boy yeah bro he knew it was on him and and what if most of of the guys we know once they're anointed to be king what would their very next step be to drive down to the palace and to let Saul know mhm hey dog I I mean yeah you had you had a decent run but I mean touch my head that's so wild R run run your fingers through my hair it's sticky isn't it oily ain't it me that's what many would do in the what was what was God's process for God's man it was first I'll anoint you now I take you back out to prepare you back to reality absolutely so that when you're under the weight yep of what I've created you to carry in this life you won't Buckle that's right but Timmy false starts don't ever lead to positive pregnancy tests everybody's I just got to get in the race I got to get in the race and God's going to put it birth it through me and this dog false start ishmail yes baby not the son of the promise and now you kick him out of your own house this this is my thing I've gotten more excited out in the middle of nowhere God preparing me for weight I told you when Co hit the first thing I learned about myself and I didn't like it admitting it God created me for storms mhm and it's part of why my process he took me the middle of nowhere and prepare me all those things MH my personal perspective about any weight God ask you to carry it's heavy it is it's heavy facts and it Demands a measure of biblical preparation good I've got a trainer right now who who trains the the top bodybuilder on the planet okay I'm never going to put up that kind of weight that's not my call that's not my path yep but you know what he's teaching me to do to me he's torn my body apart back to the basics and he is having me work on hidden weaknesses because his goal is to get me carrying heavier weights right because the better my body can handle heavier weights as I get older the less injured I will be correct absolutely that's good but he's actually starting with tiny little weights and muscle groups it's annoying it's frustrating he put up he actually put up a video on his Instagram training with the number one bodybuilder in on the planet right now the guy's holding like 5B weights to to me he's huge and he's laying on a bench going like this and and my trainer has one finger in the small of his back pushing on like a thread of muscle going I'm I'm going to help you this guy has the tiniest weights on planet Earth and he's one of the biggest humans alive right now Timmy he has nine more weeks till the The Big Show show yeah yeah this is how the best bodybuilder in the world is preparing while no one watching absolutely correct little weights y turning little muscles into bigger muscles that can hold more weight y I think we don't do a good enough job preparing for the weight that's coming I agree we just think faithfulness is go now go and I'll show you where and you'll figure that's not how it always works it's loaded bro like everything you everything you're saying is rich in imagery and but it's loaded what the first thing I thought about is um I actually knew a woman who had convinced herself she was pregnant and her body physiologically started to manifest yeah a pregnancy right to the point that her belly was starting to but there was no baby in her belly it was in her mind yeah so when you talked about that I just started to think about how many people have heard a word from the Lord and thought themselves into giving birth to something that's not even in there yet right so that's sobering and then this big bodybuilder with five PB weights just screams humility I I think we arrogance would say nobody gonna do no five pound weights I got this and we that I got this mentality right is how you hurt yourself that's exactly right that I got this mentality is how you actually wind up having to step down from the actual event you've been preparing for because you tore something right right before the Big [Music] Show because you had too much pride to go let me go less with proper form right than to be out here grunting and then tear a muscle that I can't Flex later that's it's sobering that both that that that's just very humbling it's a cautionary tale yeah yeah I want to talk for a sec about so one of the pictures I think a lot of people use when they talk about exhaustion or hitting the wall is an empty tank mhm okay yep so let's spend some time talking about all right let's paint a picture here's somebody who's been going hard they're not in Disobedience they've just been going hard for a prolonged season uh and and they don't feel they have much left the tank feels empty they made it much longer than they thought they could with an empty tank yep two aspects I really want to address first when you have an empty tank how do you not just put a little in it how do you restack the deck to fill it up enough where we can get going again and number two how do I keep fuel in the tank so that I don't get backed down to e okay so let's address the first one y let's let's go right at the person who's hit the wall they're exhausted and the cloud is over their head The Cloud of confusion and darkness exhaustion has taken over y they have zero energy to do anything yep how do we help them fill their tank to a way where the car starts moving without even them touching the gas all right so let's go to 2019 I am the lead pastor of Embassy City you are one of the elders at the time um 2019 uh I have uh eight people that I love that die five that are very close three that I have to eulogize one is a 15-year-old girl named Sydney who gets a brain tumor and uh she dies and her parents asked me to eulogize another is Kim Yates yeah who is my admin for seven years literally got me around the world and back yeah um she's so much a part of the family my wife just calls her and says where's my husband going to be right she's diagnosed with gastrointestinal cancer in no in December November December she's dead May 3rd 2019 Sydney's death was I think in February our attendance that year doubled right [Music] um and I'm feeling the way of being out of alignment organizationally I'm a Visionary leader I am not the day-to-day guy and I actually need to fire myself from the position I'm in I need to free myself from this weight I'm under I don't know how to do it um so my low Point comes in I think July I think it was July um I'm on E and when you I I want to take my time on this press cuz it's not enough to just say hey when you're on E how do you refill you got to be honest about what happens when you're on E yeah right right and so um I have been asking for words on the walls for two years just Visionary stuff right like when people walk in outside of Embassy City what is this place about and I've been asking my staff hey let's get some words on the walls um just some culture stuff DNA stuff it didn't happen and I've never been an explosive person I implode um the way I used to take it out on myself was through porn and masturbation right I which is one of the ways you just take something out on you I'm not going to take it out on anybody else and then you just feel the shame of that and you oh God I need to repent and I need to confess it so um I was healthy enough not to be in that space but I still imploded right and my uh this implosion uh manifested itself in a dynamic a dynamically passive aggressive way I went to Home Depot and I got six cans of spray paint and on a Saturday evening I open up all the doors for ventilation and I spray painted all the words that I wanted signage I got my signage I got my signage and I felt good about myself this how you know you're on E it's great you feel good about stuff you shouldn't it's there's so much wisdom in that statement right there you just feel good you shouldn't right and so um uh the next I did it on Saturday evening right services in the morning services in the morning I'm not preaching I'm off that weekend I have a guest speaker I forgot that I have a guest speaker and I'm not even there so half the people come in the staff of course gets there first they think someone's vandalized the building how could they not think this right by the time the the the the current conation starts coming in half of them think it's cool the other half is like what what's going on here and I can't imagine what a visitor is thinking right right I tell Juliet I tell some of the elders hadn't told you yet but I'm like yeah I did that their reaction is obviously what what are you doing what made you do that that's wrong and I'm like no it's not this is amazing you're on E you think right so good something's good that's actually bad Monday morning I have my devotion time I happen to be going through Exodus cuz we just read through the Bible every year how in the Bible reading how am I in imagine that and I happen to be reading through the Tabernacle and I happen to be reading through the reminders all the time of God saying make sure you build this according to my P M make sure you build this according to my pattern and the Holy Spirit says in the sweetest way hey Tim that spray paint is not according to my pattern this isn't your church it's mine and you need to repent which means to change I needed to change my mind I thought it was dope so my mind needed to change that's repentance right it ain't apologizing it's changing your mind about the way you thought and it just so happens you can't make this up that the next Sunday was the first Sunday which is when we take communion and he was like you must repent to your wife the elders the staff and the entire congregation oh and since it's communion you need to lead it this weekend and before you take it you need to apologize to we were having three services at the time so I had to do this three times uh um so now I I know I'm on E I kind of you Corey gayen are like hey are you all right I like yeah I'm good it's you know like just I just don't feel like I'm in the right spot [Music] and another reason another way you know you're on E is that you cannot pinpoint and locate where it hurts yeah so you talk in generalities this is Genesis 3 Adam where are you uh I was scared cuz I heard you so I hid so I hi what I'm naked who told you that the woman you gave me gave me the fruit I you haven't even you don't even know where you are you you still haven't told me where you are in this this you've you you've responded but you haven't told me where you don't know where you are so I couldn't locate me as you guys are asking me these questions so a couple of months later um Cory comes to the house and he goes I think you need I think you need a break you need you need some time to rest what do you think you need I said man a weekend at Four Seasons would be great and a massage and he goes I I think you need more than that I think you need more than that I was offended right another reason another way you know you're on E is how offended you are by Fuel You Are by someone trying to save your life right right trying to help you out so I go to Juliet with my offense these guys think I need like six weeks she goes you need at least that but you need more so now I'm like okay well this is now me outside of me talking back to me about me We Are One flesh I am now telling myself I need to what it wound up here's how I I I I had to give you this whole story to tell you what I needed at that e to get back to F and y'all gave it to me and it was extravagant three months off at a time where it was Ill it it it it was not wise in my mind to take three months off based on where the church was at that time but I got up in October and I said I gotta go yeah and I let everybody think whatever they were thinking did he sin has he Fallen my God what he this is so abrupt what do you think happened and this the greatest three months I had ever experienced I did nothing I didn't go nowhere I didn't escape to Fiji or go to Turks and Kos I just sat at home and did not have to do one 2 3 1 2 3 4 5 6 preach 1 2 3 4 5 6 preach 1 2 3 meet right 4 five 6 preach one two funeral 4 five counseling six preach one emergency emergency emergency emergency 56 preach the weight had pwed on so much yeah I needed a whole 90 days to get it off me I didn't even know if there' be a church when I got back there was cuz it's his but when I came back I was on F and I could see how much weight I had been carrying and now that it was off there was a determination to never put myself in that position again yeah and from 2020 to the time I transitioned I never had that pressure again yeah yeah I know that was long but I had no no no the context of hey you don't just get there in an hour you don't it's something that builds up over a sustained period of time and when it gets to the place where it comes on us unrealized we don't even realize where we are and that happens to all of us that's right it's simply because went too far that's right that's exactly right it just went too long too much way too long for too long and then I got to figure out okay yep I need to reset and we stepped in for you and said hey this is a season for a personal reset that's right to reestablish rhythms y to rebuild some things that may have broken down to remove some things absolutely that were for the past season that not for the next season yep we all need that in various ways y now one of the things that I try and tell people so every weight God gives is spiritual all right so when when for instance if someone's called the business I think one of the mistakes we can make is to approach that work as though it were secular not sacred oh oh facts it's alls spiritual all spiritual so there's a measure of preparing for secular work that can be done with quote unquote secular preparation learning building skills all things but if it's spiritual work it takes spiritual preparation so one of the things that people are shocked when I advise them they're like I'm exhausted and I'm I I don't know what to do and I I just need a reset here's one of the things I tell them and they never see it coming it seems first takes seven days and I said what I'm about to tell you is maybe one of the bigger challenges anyone's ever issued you but you need a fullon reset and you may not have 90 mhm so I say the next 21 days the first seven days a liquid only fast and set the goal you're going to privately commune with the Lord in prayer for at least 10 hours over the next seven days of your life you need a full-on reset and I tell them even if you in prayer sit in silence in a dedicated space unto the Lord and you only hear him talk for 3 minutes it's okay yes it is you need a reset and this feels sometimes when you sit with je sometimes when I sit with Holly yep we can spend an hour not say a word and our feet are just touching on the couch right and she gets up feeling closer than when we sat down that's right I think we we bypass filling our tank spiritually way too much yep and because we're carrying spiritual weights if we don't strengthen ourselves in the Lord the way David did mhm we're not going to be able to carry these spiritual weights so I tell them seven days liquid only then transition after seven days that will be not just a spiritual reset a physical reset for sure an emotional reset to me if somebody's gotten two dependent on caffeine mhm or sugar yep a 7-Day reset can be life altering absolutely for sure they're no longer dependent on that Sugar they'll go through some withdrawals for the first couple of days that's right but then the the last four days oh they're body will start to go thank you I kind of like this appreciate you right absolutely then transition to 14 days of a Daniel Fast yep still no sweets yep no Meats but you're getting nuts the oils and nuts are good for your brain it it all connects together that's right and you go can you reset for 21 days if you really hit the wall to the point you want to tap out what are you willing to do to stop your normal yep that's good and to strengthen yourself in the Lord but when you say the word fast most Believers y think of more weight and I actually approach it the opposite way to me when I fit e one of the things I've needed to do I need to fast yep I need to consecrate myself before the Lord I've gotten a little bit off yep I need to I need to make sure I am back on Center and a fast going without things I think I can't live without always makes more room for him to refill my life does in new ways it does e is the perfect place for a fast yeah it's good and a dedicated season of intimate Pursuit yep sometimes do you feel like as as Believers we we we wait for it all too well like we just wait for it to come rather than saying you know what like Jonathan is armor bear I'm going to go up the hill right I'm not going to sit here and wait you got Pro active in that 90 days I did and made some dramatic shifts I did you didn't just say you know what I'm just going to quote unquote do nothing for 90 days no you reset rebuilt removed yep I did you went to work but it was a different kind of work absolutely correct absolutely yeah it was working on you and it's it it's uh um but it could only happen the things that I changed could only come to me rested it's great right it wasn't like I'm going to read four books and I'm GNA right 100% I've seen some people literally gear up to do a Sabbath the wrong way I had a friend that like posted something on Instagram I'm taking my first Sabbath and I'm so excited about it or whatever I thought I was being presumptuous but I just you know I'll take my shot so I sent her a text and I said hey before you take that Sabbath um call me because I want to make sure you do it right now that could be presumptuous you know what I mean how you gonna tell me how to do my Sabbath so I called her and I said I'm so excited for you about to go do your Sabbath I said what do you got planned uh she goes I got four books that I've been wanting to read and I got this that I'm going to do and we're going to go here then we're going to go there it's like a whole itinerary I said man that just made me tired I said you're about to stop working for this church to start working on your Sabbath I said and you're going to be tired when you get back yeah cuz you got too many things to check off she goes you're right she scraps the itinerary takes the book out of her backpack all all four books she comes back and she goes this is the greatest thing I've never done nothing before and more more came to her right in her rest than would have come to her if she was like I'mma work on this then I'm going go I'mma I've been wanting to catch up on this audio book and this master class and this I'm GNA stop working on the job on Ministry so I can work on me that still work right you're not resting right right you didn't take weight off you switched weight yep you went from arms to legs and just because you're working on a different part of the body doesn't mean you're resting right you're just not working this to start working that so a day of rest one of LeBron's cheat codes is how long he sleeps this man gets 10 hours billionaire Bron still Balling on the court still find a way to produce films and do all his other stuff Nike and blah blah blah blah that man sleeps 10 hours he's going to bed cuz he knows he couldn't be in this league for 20 years naturally if it if it compromised his rest and all rest isn't deep sleep yeah sometimes it's just being in a position of doing nothing my therapist told me uh one day when I went to go talk to her she goes uh the way your brain is wired you need to ensure that when you're relaxing if you're listening to music that is not worship and I was like oh just no way you could be telling me that I'm I'm a worshipper she's like but it activates everything in you em and you've already done all this all the emotional stuff and you do a podcast and you're always stewarding and containing people for the gift of their vulnerability and then you go worship and you're crying again so you come out of that and your body is still going when are we going to do nothing yeah I just had an intense worship service where I was in the presence of the Lord it was just 101 and the and she's like yeah you need Jazz and you need instrumental Jazz that has no words and no pattern and that's the only time your brain actually disconnects and she's absolutely right it's the only way my brain can relax I need music that has no lyrics to it and really no pattern I can follow and then my body's like oh I guess we're doing nothing now so it it's it's just important and I know it's counterintuitive to people that are grinders and that are like really they're a type and you know what I mean they they're they're wired to to go out and hunt and kill and Conquer and all that kind of stuff but Jesus Got Away Jesus slipped off I mean 5,000 people fed men without women and children counted and the next day they had to find him and he wasn't like in the distance he was across on the other side of the lake they don't even know when he got there so that that retreating and that removal of oneself from all the stuff that stimulates you that calls for you that beckons you your your your your nervous system needs that disconnection or else it can't regulate right yeah the way the way I'm thinking about it right now is empty is a sign that you're not doing nothing enough once the car hits e the car is incapable of going anywhere and it's almost like it's God's way of saying right right I don't need the car to go anywhere right now you could have stayed with more in your tank if you just would have pulled over to the side of the road the three times I've tried to tell you over the last three weeks stop and look at the ocean stop and sit with me it's good empty as a reminder I'm not doing nothing enough all right so so let's let's go with this car for a minute um Park is nothing mhm R is something neutral is something because because if weight is applied mhm it's going to be moved Drive is something well I haven't even put my foot on the gas in Drive you're going to move even if you don't put your foot on the gas mhm and then that L2 and that L who who whoever used those gears I'm going this is like going back to people people who drive trucks with trailers behind the that's who just so you know it's you it's you I do use the gears my Tesla doesn't have these options but that that's what like Park is the only thing that says I'm doing nothing right every other gear is you can be moved you're either being pulled or you can be pushed in any other gear except Park and we have to we have to start celebrating Park yeah we celebrate all the movements right look at the moves PR is making look at the moves look at the move oh do you see the moves he got moves like Jagger he's moving and these moves cost you something every movement cost you something the 5 pounds on the buffest dude is costing him something it's burning calories it's it's straining the muscle oh that dude could do five times that 10 times that it's still costing him something so even if it's a little or a lot it's costing you something and if you don't put it in park you might inadvertently cash in all your chips and when you go reach for more there's none there uh honestly what I hear you saying is even before the spiritual rea is the nothingness reset that's good bro like you got to stop it you have to stop before you start anything you have to stop cuz you know me the way I like I I'll I'll just spiritually Rea but sometimes even with I'm hearing you when you talk about worship my nervous system that's actually part of carrying the weight the way I carry weight it's the way I've always rolled and and that can appear Godly right right this is the this is the danger and Nothing by comparison seems ungodly right but this is what the Lord says he says but obedience is better than sacrifice right president even if you keep sacrificing spiritually more that's right if I tell you to put it in park son right and you keep going thinking that's the way to get around this you're just going to crash yeah that that's what make that's what makes the um Sabbath so profound to me he's not tired yeah he's not exhausted this is never sleep or Slumber this is right omniscient omnipresent created with a word it's it's and he's like I'm I've done good for the last six days I'mma stop and he's inexhaustible right he's indefatigable yeah and he stops so to me it is hubris knowing that we are in His image right but not most certainly not we are not we are not him him and the fact that we think we can go seven days straight 8 days straight 9 days straight 10 days straight no break and again Ministry is the only vocation where you're commended for sacrifice but that's also hubris cuz now we're comparing oursel to Jesus he did it so we will too and he's like I did it so you didn't have to though like I wasn't asking you to I don't need that from it's not your blood that I need I don't need your blood fam mine was enough efficacious is a word for a reason that's one of the reasons why I had to come back over here over here cuz efficacious huh I needed that word back in my life like like like you we have to we have to Humble ourselves it takes humility to say I can't do that yeah man we would love if you could be a part I'm not going to be able to do right that okay thank you holy spirit let me give you another weight uh that I cast off because when you're when you the the the more you're at and we can get to the second half of your question now the more you can keep stay at F right right there's some people that do not ever fill up their gas tank until it's laying on E they got four miles until empty I know my car mhm I can still make it there's a reserve tank that isn't being calculated I've heard that one I actually got 22 miles left I don't just have four left I got 22 right so there's some people that they they don't want to fill their tank up until it's laying on E and it's fumes and then they go to the gas tank and they top it off to where the gas is spilling over and they're like that's the way I like to do it and then there's other people that the affir menion people or psychos and these are the people that right around half a tank or right below half a tank they go fill it up again they're like I ain't trying to get caught lacking right these I think those drivers of petroleum Vehicles fossil fuel uh uh vehicles I think those are the people that are akin to uh the maids with the lampstands they keep their Wicks trimmed they're just not going to get caught lacking right so the way to be that person is around half the tank you're not waiting to get on E and wait to emergency cuz what if you're in that type of situation but then there's a car wreck and while parking or while parked or in neutral or in drive with your foot on the brake you're burning fuel oh thank you Holy Spirit I didn't even see that you're burning fuel sitting still so you can still wind up on E right thinking well I wasn't doing nothing no you were you you were just idle and it burned you out cuz there was there was no purpose with it you just were sitting there so I I'm I'm interested in um oh I forgot my point that I was going to say before the it'll come back oh I hate when that happens it'll come back anyway oh it's such a good point too when I when I think though about the half tank philosophy and the so where my mind was going while you were talking is when I'm on a road trip with my truck pulling a trailer uh and I see a gas station maybe let's just say I'm in Gallop New Mexico all right some random spot MH and there's gas it's a little more expensive than I want to pay uh but I'm kind of aware I I don't really need gas right now and it's a little more expensive than I want to pay but the next gas station is a ways away you don't want to deal with that better to stop ahead of time and fill your tank yes sir then to power through that's right and say that's right well no if I just get there faster no actually hitting the gas more Burns fuel faster you're actually going to run out of fuel even sooner that's right better to pull over that's good and fill up that's right but I think sometimes we we just yeah but I can make it a little bit further rather than nothing needs to be a consistent Habit in all of Our Lives show me your nothing just for me I mean that that's for me show me your nothing Friday is my nothing yes good it is me and Holly yep starts with my coffee yep kids are all off to school y we sit for a bit then we go work out together then we have lunch like that is the most nothing it's the most amazing nothing absolutely for sure everything's turned off except being present that's right and being poured into that's good I've learned what fills my tank that's right but I've also learned I can't go very far and even when I'm on a heater I still need to pull over for gas on on Friday it's good it's good yeah but I got three qus of a tank man I I I can stay in SLE yeah nothing yeah that's good bro never yep try not yeah absolutely just keep it absolutely that's right that's right that's right and try and stay away that's right from here that's right catch yourself on the way down and go hey you know what I actually might need to take the Weekend off yeah for sure I may need to take two two days a Thursday a Wednesday and a Thursday and Friday to make up so I have three straight Fridays yep just keep it here crashes are less likely to happen with consistent health so thank you so much twin because now I remember what I was going to say so I signed up for Noah doesn't know this okay um he knows it but he doesn't know the cost um I signed up to be a part of this uh modern day night 5day excruciating Navy SEAL Marine torture chamber thing cuz I have a dog in me right he got to come out right so I I need to do hard things I just always challenge myself to do hard things so it was supposed to happen in March and um uh daddy died so that was going to happen and the book tour happened yeah so I called and said can I have another class and they were like we're going to put you in the fall class cool the fall class is the week of Noah's birthday I've never missed his birthday but I paid thousands of dollars to do this 5-day event so I wasn't going to bring it up to him at first but after I prayed I felt like the Lord was like have the conversation with him obviously don't tell him how much it costs you cuz that's manipulative and he doesn't deserve that but you shouldn't make the choice for him he should make the choice so we went walking one day and I said hey Noah um remember that thing I signed up for in the spring he was like yeah I said it's now in the fall cuz Daddy's death and the book tour I said but it lands on the week of your birthday I said I've never missed your birthday and never planned to um but I didn't want to assume what you would think so I wanted to have a conversation with you he's 13 and a half I said um there is no right or wrong answer you get to choose and your your decision's final I just wanted to give you the scenario and then the options the options are I could celebrate with you prior to I could celebr with you after um but during that week I won't have any communication your cell phones are taken away and you got to survive the five days um unless you ring that Bell and so um would you be opposed to us celebrating earlier or me celebrating later uh or is it important that I'm there on the actual day it's your choice you don't have to tell me now think about it let me know he was like all right Dad I'll think about about it I was like that was already impressive two days later two days later he comes up to me and he goes hey Dad I said what's up right he said Remember the thing you told me about two days ago about you going to the modern day night thing and blah blah blah I was like yeah he was like yeah you ain't [Laughter] going when I tell you it was a weight off of me MH just to know where I was going to right stand sometimes I thought about this PR um when I fly to Australia there's a direct flight from DFW to Sydney and it is direct unless there's headwinds if there's headwinds that burns more fuel and we have to drop into Hawaii to refuel sometimes headwind is the weight and we sometimes we don't even notice how we've had to lean into a season right and how much it's taken from us how much energy has been exerted for us to lean into that season and what is usually oh yeah I got enough to get all the way to the other side it's like I got halfway through and I'm already exhausted I usually get all the way through there's headwind so great if you're in a building campaign this ain't a regular year if you got eight funerals with people that you love and you got to do all of the eulogies this is not a headwind you could avoid when you when there's a tragedy that's happened at work at home with the family with your parents whatever the case is that that is those are head wins that have to be accounted for and when it's a different year you just have to call it a different year you do not try to do the same thing when you only got half a tank that's great we're not going to get all the way to LA on half a tank of gas you will crash in the ocean I don't care how much Faith you have y it's great it's not happening and so I don't want to be swimming in the middle of the ocean I don't want to know what that emergency I don't want see slide is like I don't want to see that slide I don't want to know none of that dropped this plane yeah in Hawaii we can wait it's such a great picture to wrap on because it uh think about the pilot but everybody wants to get to Australia they're in a hurry they're a businessman on this plane they got to get to Australia if I don't land this plane in Hawaii that billionaire businessman that's sitting in first class isn't going to make it to Australia no he ain't going to be in Australia wow he's getting pissy with the flight attendance one of us is going to make the wise decision I'm landing This Plane it's good bro and I think it's important for all of us to make room for ourselves to say I know you want to get to Australia because we all have people who count on us in this life you have tons of people who count on you and all of them want to get where they are going but the right thing to say sometimes is I got to L in this plane in a while yeah that's good we'll get to Australia yep but I'd rather get there a little late yep than not get there at all facts bro let's land let's refuel yep and we'll be okay it it's it doesn't matter when we arrive yep what matters is that we arrive that's good and hope so good bro I I hope that for all of you first it's just good to be back we're about to film another episode that will air in a couple of weeks but I hope that part of what you're hearing is if you're exhausted hey we've all we've all been there and we will all get there again facts don't let the enemy pull the you're so weak card all right that that that trash makes me so mad yep when he plays that card and it's like well if he convinces you you're weak cuz he wants you to quit no you've been caring a lot yeah maybe some of what you've been caring you weren't supposed to be caring I've been there too maybe you were Mis underestimating maybe you were really underestimating the headwind it's okay land the plane for a little while land the plane the most foolish thing you can do is fight through exhaustion with more of what exhausted you M you're not quitting you're parking relax you don't always have to be on the move you just need to be wherever he is and I'm telling you from experience it appears to me that the one who loves us so much the way he does that no one else ever will it appears to me that one of his favorite things to do is put it in park yes that's why the one who will never slumber nor sleep on the seventh day said you know what I feel like parking I'm not quitting I'm parking I'm showing you what I want with you not just from you I want this with you we're parking if you made it all the way to the end of this episode and you're exhausted first let me tell you way to fight to the end second let me say put it in park learn to enjoy Park MH because the plane travels much further distances the more it lands to refuel it's not on you to produce the fuel it's on you to pull over and into the gas station I love you so much Timmy loves you so much I I want Timmy just to pray over us because I just want to listen to my best friend pre for a minute because it's been so long since I've gotten to sit with him on a set like this so we just pray for us some wrap absolutely so Jesus thank you so much uh for giving us the opportunity to rest thank you for creating us with the ability to park I pray God that we would not be so enamored and in love with the road that we don't desire the parking lot and whether that's in our garage are on the way to our destination you've designed us to work and to rest and may we never idolize work at the expense of resting I pray Lord God that um as everyone has listened to this conversation between PR and I I pray that if we didn't get him back up to F I pray that this conversation has at least got them a quarter of the take that will get them to the destination where they could refill yeah back to F so that they would be full on faith in Jesus name amen amen amen so much fun I pray this was an enjoyable but not just enjoyable a beneficial conversation so as I send you on your way let me say to those who are most exhausted Among Us go do nothing nothing I love you so much we'll see you next time [Music] thanks for joining me for this episode of The Leader cut I pray you sense God speak directly to you through it before you leave make sure you hit the Subscribe button and tap the Bell icon so you're notified every time a new episode is posted and be sure to share your takeaways and favorite on Liners in the comments and if you think it could help a friend or two I'd love it if you would send them the link to share it with them thanks again for watching we'll see you next time