you are not a machine you are more like a garden you need different things on different days a little sun today a little less water tomorrow you have fallow and fruitful seasons it is not a design flaw it is wiser than perpetual sameness what does your garden need today [Music] everything could be going well lately maybe you've been consistent with your goals you've been doing well in school or you've been keeping up with fitness but one morning afternoon or evening that feeling inevitably comes again or maybe there was something that reminded you of a bad past event and brought up old feelings of sadness and anxiety sometimes it even feels like whenever you feel genuinely happy something bad is bound to happen maybe something occurred that didn't go how you think it would or didn't go as planned in your job relationships or school and it seems like all the progress you've made has dissipated or doesn't have any meaning your logical brain knows it's not true but no matter what the emotions can take over and lead you in a very dark place and i think here we go again honestly this happened to me recently and i know i'm not the only one who goes through this but i'm not going to let myself be sucked into a dark hole so i picked up my camera so you can join me on a few days of trying to feel better [Music] life can be tumultuous excited confused or disorderly however calm and stable someone's life appears a closer look will reveal up and downs they're all part of the human experience i like to sometimes imagine the ups and downs of life like a heartbeat if it was a straight line then our life would be over like one on a heart monitor i've accepted the inevitability of this but thinking about the downs when you're on the peak really takes away from the moment of happiness i struggle a lot with thinking about the what ifs so much that spoils the very happiness in front of me [Music] i just finished with practice and it was kind of sad because it was the last practice [Music] at the same time since i've been aware of this phenomenon i can use it to my advantage and see it the other way around to motivate myself through a challenging period at a low point i know that there will be an up sooner or later and it's inevitable too [Music] what can i do [Music] take me home go down the road feel [Music] number one find things to look forward to sometimes when i enter a dark place it seems like the future can be really hopeless events out of your control like the impossible cost of living or environmental concerns can bring me down a lot the accomplishments that i do have seem so meaningless in the grand scheme of things therefore i try to look closer at smaller even more superficial things to get through my life day by day every sunday a new episode of my favorite show releases and recently i've been looking forward to journaling every night to release my creativity and my thoughts some other things could be sports games or something small you're saving up to buy i know people say to live life in the present and that works sometimes but during particularly stressful moments in time it can be more beneficial to have something to look forward to says atlanta therapist lania smith crawford all the [Music] glad i things to spend them with you [Music] is [Music] i'm sorry i just cried i'm gonna make my bed [Music] number two change up your routine and go out of your comfort zone i've always told myself i'm a boring person and i don't like spontaneity i like routine and order and being comfortable but sometimes i think that's just something i've been telling myself to avoid going out of my comfort zone i found myself going day after day doing the same things and of course that's going to be boring after a while it feels like i'm just going through the motions of everyday life but not truly living so this time i threw out the planner and i decided to take a spontaneous trip to my best friend in a different city and also visit my parents because i haven't seen them in months the excitement and spontaneity was so refreshing because it was rare that i didn't plan in advance i felt more relaxed more flexible and doing different things made me feel like i wasn't missing out on moments of joy for once and i'm not the only one who feels this way 72 percent of people said they feel happier after they act spontaneously in some way according to a study conducted by one poll so maybe it's time to veto the schedule for once [Music] i think i was never in love with you and how most of the time i thought i don't even like you [Music] i couldn't face it but now i do truth is i was never in love with you yeah yeah [Music] i gave i'd have killed for you you always called inside [Music] i was never in love with you and have most of the time i