hello hello welcome to all of you this is coach adrian and i am very very very excited to be able to do this live stream with you today and i was talking with my partners alex natalie danny abby and one thing that we wanted to make sure that we did more of in 2022 was to do more lives to be able to come on live like this and really to have an opportunity to share some of the things that we are learning in our private coaching sessions and also to be able to create a space where we can be closer to you guys those that are part of our community those of you that follow us those of you that trust us and so my hope was to be able to do one life just like this at least one life every week where just i block off a little bit of time in my calendar to be able to come on to share some of the things that uh that i am that i'm basically conveying to my clients in private coaching sessions and also to give you a space to ask any question that you have for me over the past couple of days i've had quite a few clients that reached out to me asking about positive signs during their breakup recovery perhaps during a separation that they are going through and i know that a lot of you are struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel and so i wanted to do a live to be able to kind of you know talk this through with you and to give you a little bit of hope and a little bit of perspective so hello natasha thank you for your comment and i encourage all of you to interact with me um in the chat tell me a little bit about you tell me if you have a question for me pose it there throughout the live i'm going to do my best to also address your questions so during my last coaching session as i was talking about a client specifically needed a little bit of guidance and insights on positive signs during during her separation and so i was taking a few notes and i noted 17 signs that were very positive and i was hoping to do to focus this specific life on those positive signs that that i think will also really really help you hello billy hello natasha from the montreal thank you for being live with me so the first thing that i wanted to kind of address during this life is the fact that your mindset is your greatest ally if you can't see the positive signs if you can't really be in this positive mindset after a separation or a breakup the odds of you reaching your goal of rebuilding your marriage or your relationship are going to be low because your mindset is your greatest ally and that's why this video is so important and why i want you to cultivate that positive mindset in order to maximize your chances of success thank you eileen thank you billy nigeria boca in the house so this is wonderful so the first signs that i want to talk about really are linked to personal transformation you know if you've watched our channels our videos whether it's on happily committed on love advice tv you know that personal transformation is at the heart of everything that we do and if so those positive signs that i want to address first and foremost are linked to your process of personal transformation okay so first and foremost um how you feel about yourself can greatly determine whether you will be successful or not in your breakup recovery process so if you are able to experience a renewed sense of joy in your life that is a very positive science and it increases your chances of reaching your goal by a lot and because obviously who you are what you do affects the way that this person sees you and perceives you and so one of the things that i always say to clients in private coaching sessions is don't wait to get back together to be happy it's never going to happen that way your significant other will not give you the benefit of the doubt first you need to be happy and then it's realistic to for your significant other to want to be with you or to repair your relationship or your breakup so that's the first time the second is still linked to your personal transformation um your ability to be social and your ability to enjoy the small things after a breakup you're oftentimes in a place of vulnerability and a place of desperation and so you're unable to enjoy the small things and you isolate yourself when you're on that path on that track it is very difficult to be able to inspire the one you love so when you are able to be to be social to go out and to enjoy those small things a lot of times that is a very clear sign that you are well on your way another clear sign that i see from coaching sessions is when individuals have a really good understanding of what went wrong and why right the goal is not just to get back with an ex that makes no sense in a vacuum the goal is to build a healthy happy relationship where both parties can thrive how can you build a healthy happy relationship if you haven't done the work to really understand what went wrong and why my experience has been that most people that follow our channels most people that trust us have done the work and are really aware of what went wrong and actually do the work to try to rebuild the relationship the right way so that's another very positive sign another one linked to that is cultivating new habits if you are the same person that your significant other broke up with if you are the same person that ended up pushing your partner to ask for a divorce or a separation you're gonna have a very hard time rebuilding a new and improved relationship so are you able to develop new habits are you able to actually see yourself change through action not just through thoughts not just an understanding of what went wrong but actually applying that knowledge in your everyday life to build new habits and new patterns that's a really good sign and there's a direct correlation between your ability to do that and your ability to rebuild a new and improved relationship okay another good sign that i saw in my client is this ability to cultivate a long-term view and to be patient after a breakup you're suffering tremendously and you just want the pain to end you just want to get back together like right away and as a result you're sometimes forcing the issue right and because you're forcing the issue you're pushing them away you're coming off desperate needy you know all those things right that's why it's important to have a long-term view and how do you do that you do that by the next very positive sign is when someone is focusing on the things that you can control and i'm sure that you've heard me say that in quite a few of my videos but there's a purpose to the madness if you're focusing on the things that you can control the odds are that you're gonna be patient you're gonna take a long-term view and you will be able to reconnect organically with this person that you love okay so those were signs that were linked to your personal transformation positive signs in your breakup recovery linked to your personal transformation i'm going to address other positive signs but i want to make sure that you guys are with me that you guys are connecting with uh with what i'm saying so please do if you if you do please like the video give me a heart tell me in the chat just so that i know that now i don't want this to be a one-sided affair um i really want to use this space doing these lives to be able to interact with you so please don't be shy and ho hello to laurie from germany welcome welcome welcome to uh to goog from india as well okay because you guys aren't so talkative i'm gonna assume that you're taking notes and i'm gonna continue there's also so we talked about positive sign linked to your process of personal transformation but there can also be positive signs linked to their process of personal transformation and this is perhaps a theme that you're not as familiar with or one that you're not perhaps as comfortable with okay so let me give you an example when you see your ex evolving after a breakup you get afraid you get insecure you feel like you're losing them this fear of losing them starts to kind of permeate and you almost want to hold on to the past but the truth is in most the overwhelming amount of relationships that i see it's never one person's fault even if you feel guilty even if you're quite aware of all the mistakes that you make it's not just your fault your significant other needs to use the breakup as a way to grow and to evolve as well otherwise it's going to be very difficult to be in a new and improved relationship so if your significant other is changing and acting differently after the breakup than they were when you were in a relationship number one it's normal so don't panic and number two it's healthy it's a different dynamic now you guys are no longer together so when your significant other is actually evolving that is a good sign during your breakup the contrary the opposite would be when your significant other is still stuck on the breakup still telling you the same things over and over and over again still blaming you still in this place of anger or complete lack of lack of care right if they're indifferent or if they continue to stay in this state of anger post-breakup we're not making progress the next uh positive sign is when an ex starts to take accountability for their actions once an ex comes and also you can tell that they've gone through a process of introspection and self-reflection when they start to tell you you know what i also made mistakes or i realized that i could have done things differently or it's not all your fault that's a good sign now in certain cases an ex can feel bad because you're really beating yourself up and they can tell you these things that's not always healthy but in most cases when you're not being needy not being desperate you're well on your on your way and you're applying a lot of the advice that you find on our channel when you're able to do that then when an ex takes accountability it is a really really really good sign and this is something that i see in my coaching sessions all the time i see that we have new friends that have joined us thank you for coming brooklyn is in the house thank you for for being with uh with us here live talking about the positive signs during a separation the next positive sign that i want to talk to you about is when an ex realizes that they are not happier without you this happens all the time all the time perhaps this is happening to you as well perhaps you're someone that broke up with your significant other thinking that you weren't happy in a relationship and that you're going to be happier on your own single or dating someone else that had potential and then you realize you're not happier and that you made a mistake and this is something i see all the time and this is something that can and will also happen to your ex if you do the work if you are really focusing on this personal transformation element if you're focusing on the things that you can't control if you're avoiding the common mistakes of being too needy into being too desperate etc your ex will experience regret and a lot of time they can they will express that regret to you when they're not too insecure when they're comfortable in their own shoes they will express that to you and clearly that is a good sign okay so um sometimes there are signs that are so clear but to you because you're in your bubble and the fear of losing your significant other is so great you don't see them and that's why i wanted to do this live also is to kind of enable you to have a broader vision and to be more positive so minerva is here from the philippines and it's 1 15 in the morning thank you thank you for your trust thank you for being with us and i hope that you will gain some knowledge and insights from this life and from this video so those were all positive signs linked to personal transformation your personal transformation things that you can control as well as your ex's personal transformations and the things that they can control because both of those elements need to happen in order to rebuild a new and improved relationship but i also wanted to talk about positive signs linked to communication because a lot of times when we're talking about positive signs that's the only thing that you're thinking about obviously you want your ex's validation and oftentimes you know that comes in the form of communication so what are positive signs linked to communication well number one when you are able to communicate with your ex with your significant other without conflict drama or negativity it may sound so simple and so basic but for a lot of you i would even say for the majority of you it is difficult to communicate with your ex without drama conflict or negativity because you're both in a heightened emotional state and because you're in a place of vulnerability and perhaps because you don't want the same things and so very often you will start to position yourself in a way that is threatening to your significant other when you're trying to change their mind when you invalidate their feelings when you're overstepping their boundaries and when you're able to connect to communicate without drama conflict or negativity whether it's via text social media in person phone doesn't matter when you're able to do that clearly that is a sign that the relationship is progressing that the connection is coming back together so please be mindful of that in your process of breakup recovery hello from our friends in south africa and thank you for your love and for your kind words uh to you finda in the us it warms my heart and thank you for your trust so um another very positive science and goal that i ask of a lot of the people that i coach in private coaching sessions is to try to make your ex smile okay so i'm not trying to tell you to be a goofball and to be a clown but if you're able to get a smile out of them in casual conversation it will mean that you're reconnecting it'll mean that you're confident it's very difficult to be angry at someone when you're smiling right it's just a different vibe and a different energy when you're able to make your significant other smile so if this is something that you're able to do that is a positive sign and it shows that you're on the right track especially if you can do it consistently and organically another positive sign is when your ex reaches out to you first okay so this is something that quite quite often uh is done kind of uh undercover they'll have an excuse they're reaching out maybe for some administrative thing or maybe because they forgot something at your at your at your at your place and they're making up all sorts of excuse when in reality they're trying to connect with you right and so if they're reaching out to you in an angry negative way okay that may be different but if they're reaching out to you in a friendly way even if it's just to ask you a simple question it's a good sign and a lot of times you'll notice that they're reaching out to you for something when in reality they didn't need to reach out to you they could have googled the information they could have asked a friend and so they're using that opportunity to try to seek closeness and connection and that is a positive sign it means that in some ways they're missing you they're trying to reconnect to go even further when your ex asks to see you whether it's for an exchange of keys or for your help to work on a project something along those lines that is very positive it's one thing to be comfortable enough talking to one another it's another when your ex feels comfortable enough seeing you okay even if you have kids even if you have to see each other some way if your ex is comfortable enough to extend that invitation and to see you it means that you're doing a lot of things right you're most likely respecting their boundaries you're not being needy you're not being desperate and perhaps it's not moving as fast as you want it to this breakup recovery process but at least you're on the right track and it's very important for you to continue on this track as long as it takes remember we talked earlier about taking a long-term view being patient as part of your process of personal transformation that's very very important please don't spam the chat let's respect each other i'm gonna do my best to address some of your questions but if you're spamming the chat and you're not being considerate of others i'm gonna i'm gonna have to kick you out so we want this to be a safe space for everyone the next uh really good sign that i've seen in coaching sessions is when an ex starts to make future plans with you okay it can be a casual invitation to you know a show or a restaurant or it can be a more formal invitation to spend you know a family getaway with the kids when your ex is not only comfortable enough planning something in the future and seeing you but also taking ownership of that process that is a really really good sign okay because once you do that it shows that the process of attraction in some ways is really maturing and again don't get impatient don't focus on the negatives don't see the glass half empty on the contrary continue to focus on those things that you can control like we talked about earlier a next very good sign is when you're able to have connection closeness or intimacy when there is that level of intimacy or closeness or connection well it means that they're still attracted to you it means in some ways that they're yearning for uh to connect with you at some level and obviously it cannot just be limited to that right there's way more that goes into rebuilding a healthy relationship than the physical connection element of it but when that is taking place in a healthy way in general it is a very very good sign it does not mean that you should rush into having intimacy with your significant other in a lot of cases i actually discourage you from having intimacy especially when you are too vulnerable and we don't want to try to leverage that as a way for them to kind of cling on and as a way for you to kind of be afraid of them moving on we want to avoid that but when there is closeness and when your significant other is willing to go there with you in general that can be a very good sign the there's two more two more signs that i wrote down that i wanted to kind of share with you um one of them is when your ex tries to indirectly communicate with you or to connect with you you know sometimes this happens with the younger age group people that are in their mid 20s 30s oftentimes the your ex-girlfriend or your ex-wife or even you know ex-boyfriend or ex-husband isn't comfortable reaching out to you directly so they're going to try to communicate with you indirectly through a friend or on social media and um you know sometimes people are insecure even if they're the one that brave that broke up even if they told you pretty nasty things the reality is that they can still be quite insecure afraid of rejection or afraid that if they communicate with you directly that you're going to overstep the boundaries and start to you know really come after them hard because perhaps that's a pattern that had developed earlier on in the process when you had less control over your feelings and emotions and perhaps before you started to discover our content so if they're trying to communicate with you indirectly it is still a good sign if they're trying to get your attention or trying to get you to react and if they're testing you that is a good sign it means they care right lastly um for those of you whose significant other is in a relationship in a rebound relationship oftentimes someone will break up and right away jump into another relationship perhaps it can be with someone that they already knew and that they were working you know to kind of build something with and other times it's because they just go on tinder or bumble or whatnot because they don't know how to be single and they quickly jump into another relationship to try to boost their ego and their confidence men we know how to do that quite well unfortunately and so if your significant other is in a relationship and still seeking to communicate with you still seeking to connect with you that is a clear sign that this relationship may not be all that fulfilling to them um ultimately it may be a sign that they're not as happy that they're starting to miss you and um and so you know you really want to keep an eye out for that because ultimately when those when this tends to happen you know that um that you have an opportunity really to to to connect with them so jesse hugh says don't reach out stay in no contact uh in some cases yes in other cases no staying in no contact indefinitely forever is not something that i believe in i think that every situation is different and that in some cases um staying in no contact forever and waiting for your ex to to make that first move will be you'll lose many opportunities to reconnect and i've seen many clients out of fear of reaching out or because they've adhered to a philosophy that you should never take that first step miss out on an opportunity to reconnect the right way so be careful with that those were 17 signs 17 positive signs that you can look out for during your separation breakup recovery process uh and i hope that this will not only be helpful to you and in providing you with uh you know renewed hope and optimism for where you stand but that it's also going to give you practical things that you can look out for in your situation to see that you're making progress right and that things aren't doomed that there's still an opportunity to do this yes i am taking questions so please go for it if you enjoyed this video please like it give me a heart a thumbs up whatever it may be the hope the goal is to um is to do these lives once a week i can't commit to every tuesday at this time at 12 but that's what i'm hoping for to be closer to you and to continue to connect and answer your questions what about long-distance relationship coach macy thank you for your question i actually i'm gonna do a series on long-distance relationships that are gonna come out on all of my channels i have i think 25 topics specifically on long-distance relationships that i'm going to be recording in the studios in the coming days weeks so keep an eye out for that it's my passion i love long-distance relationships i'm actually created a program on long-distance relationships that you're going to be able to um you know stay stay tuned there's going to be much a lot of content in 2022 in this in the spring and then the coming weeks on that i promise you that i also for those of you who are live i put in the description below a special gift a discount towards three programs one by the amazing coach natalie one by coach alex and one by myself it's our three product method to rebuild a relationship so it's in the link below check it out if you want to take it a step further and have more tools at your disposal okay backhoe gallo wants to know can we wish a happy birthday in no contact it depends it depends on um it depends on really what has transpired if you were needy clingy um if you if your ex really had to kind of set hard boundaries wishing a happy birthday may not be a good idea they may see you as still being super vulnerable and clingy and perhaps you can send a bigger message by not reaching out to them and wishing them a happy birthday if you uh for instance were on good terms on amicable terms after the relationship ended it may be weird not to wish them a happy birthday so there's a range and i uh it's not a one-size-fit-all answer most times i would say it's better not to but when there are specifics obviously there are exceptions and if you are at an advanced stage in your breakup recovery process perhaps it may be worth it to to wish them a happy birthday kim says it's been two years of no contact what steps should i take two years is a long time i think that it's time to try to reconnect with them just at least have a gauge a sense as to where things stand right you can be in no contact indefinitely that's the answer to the question that um the statement that someone was making you can't be no contact forever at some point we need to try our luck and reconnect in non-um you know not in an informal non-threatening way it can be a message on facebook or instagram it can be a text depending on the reality of your breakup recovery but don't bring up the past don't apologize don't do all of those things make it casual and simple and use this more as a way to get a sense as to where your your ex stands at this point rather than an end-all be-all to your process of trying to get back together um how do you do no contact when you live together and work from home not an easy one so here we're looking at um obviously you know capturing the spirit of the no contact and applying it to your reality which means pulling away right you're not seeking their validation and their attention you're not trying to initiate communication you're trying to spend time outside of the home and perhaps reestablish a new rhythm a new pattern uh when you're when you're home to show that you're pulling away and that you're not being clingy and that you're giving them space you know being social going out with friends having plans making sure that you always have you know the next thing planned and not relying on them so much for your validation happiness socialization that is taking capturing the spirit of the no contact and applying it to a situation where you have to see each other all day every day for example okay so we're coming up on 30 minutes of this live and i have a coaching session coming up so i'm gonna need to uh to sign off soon unfortunately but like i said i'm committed to doing these lives once a week to be closer to you guys to answer your questions to share some of the knowledge that that is shared in private coaching sessions with perhaps some of you who may not have the resources and also to make sure that you know that we're here that we support you that we're in it together and uh that we're fighting the good fight together right so i hope this was helpful i hope that you enjoyed it please if so again let me know and and i'll see you next week for yet another video before i sign off there's a couple people that ask for a success story and i know that this is something that we don't do enough of so i would like to share a success story with you there is this um young lady who was in a complicated relationship and um she got back together with her significant other just this past week right so three four days ago and um you know the good thing was that she a lot of these positive signs that we talked about is something that she intuitively knew like i didn't have to really work on her mindset and getting her to believe that it was possible and all of those things she was very bright very sharp very independent in some ways and very short of what she brought to the table and she didn't let your her insecurities and her fear of losing this person get the best of her so when there were opportunities she was able to seize them i actually had to encourage her to to not be as cold and as distant to her significant other because she had many opportunities to connect with him but she kept kind of playing her cards tight to her to her vest but eventually he did the work he did the work to pursue her even though he had broken up with her because she had been patient she stayed true to herself and to her values and it didn't even take that long quite honestly so a breakup recovery sometimes can take you know some time especially when mistakes happen after the breakup but in cases where you avoid mistakes after the breakup when you value yourself you see this as an opportunity to grow as a process of personal transformation you understand that it's just like a learning lesson along the way and you're not acting desperate it's not it was not her sole responsibility to rebuild this relationship she loved the man she wanted to be with him but she also understood her value and she was not going to settle for you know less than what she deserved and she understood that he had a lot at stake too because because she knew what she brought to the table and if she did it you can do you can do it too so this was the success story of the week maybe that's a good segment maybe i can every week share a success story with you guys so that you also have another positive boost of encouragement as you continue to move forward i went above and beyond what i wanted to but i'm happy i did i'm happy we spent this time together and i hope that we're going to connect again perhaps next tuesday at this same time again special gift for those of you who were live in the comment section below you'll see this uh this link to um to my three product method coach natalie coach alex and myself are one of our best programs that really helps people we've combined them in one program for you so you can access that below thank you friends for your trust thank you for your interactions and for your for for um you know your questions your loving words of encouragement it means a lot to me as you know and uh we will do this again soon and until next week you know what you got to do good vibes that's right and keep fighting the good fight much love