hey what's up boys I know I haven't been around in a couple days and I'm probably not going to be back for another couple days but I kind of wanted to keep you guys in a loop on what's going on for anybody for anybody who gives it and if you don't that's all good I I'll be back to normal soon too long didn't watch uh I was up I'm attempting to not get up and uh these are just going to be some life updates on what's going on and also man yse see Trump get shot at that was all honestly very terrible but man what a moment in history that's going down in history books for sure super unlucky that that happens today that I'm missing for a couple days and I get a couple of people being like hey man were you involved no obviously not ridiculous but uh yeah history is being made every day actually insane so let's just talk about a couple of things that I wanted to kind of get off my chest I'm not sure what the title of this video is but uh let me just say what it is that I'm talking about and that is I'm moving this house this year has been one of if not the best year of my life things just went really well uh I'm going to miss this house in the next couple weeks you guys are probably going to be seeing a difference and well you will be seeing a difference in my stream background uh which I'm very excited about and getting a new room new place it's going to be a lot better sounded and it's going to be a lot safer of a house which I'm very excited about because the safety of my roommates is very very very important to me but yeah new house coming soon but I don't want to forget how many good memories I had in this house and I would be lying if I said I'm not going to miss it this was a great house this was a great year uh a lot of good memories happened here uh I got a new cat while I was here his name is bongo I mean the neighbors were great the the HOA was great because I never noticed him renting from these people sucked ass but it is what it is uh it's probably my favorite house I've ever lived in and I'm really hopeing the next house is even better but we'll see I've gotten about 5 months worth of Renovations in it and I'm getting impatient at this point but I should be moving in at the end of this month so whenever that happens I'll give you guys a tour and uh yeah it's just a lot has happened over this year a lot of good friends are being made a lot of good content being made we started the gacha cast while I was here we started the uncultured podcast while I was here steak and eggs podcast is still going incredibly strong we started In Waves here we started Z Zone zero here we continue to grind out honkai star here genin impact is still [ __ ] [ __ ] here and we're going to talk about oh my God can you believe that genin impact hooe hates black people oh my God like we haven't been here before history repeats itself ladies and gentlemen and now I am old enough and bitter enough in this community where I have seen the exact same drama happen not once not twice we are in the third time and people are still shocked that in China they're not really too big on putting black people in their Media or games man oh man I I guess we're back here again oh don't worry guys I made a Twitter post saying that we really want black people in our game it's just not going to happen guys it it it's really not and if they do let's be real they're going to make him a four star or make the five star one of the worst characters in the game don't get me wrong am I still going to try Natan sure but I'd Bey lying if I said the only reason or I'd be lying if I didn't say the only reason that I play genj and impact is just to keep up with all this stupid ass [ __ ] with it I play it once every three months and then I still have the credibility to tell everybody how [ __ ] that [ __ ] game is and how [ __ ] that company's handl of that game is even worse yeah what a joke uh anyways speaking of controversy I would really like to talk about how I'm doing and I I I usually don't talk about this I'm usually a little bit you know uncomfortable when it comes to talking about myself from a real point of view but uh I think I have been I think I've been [ __ ] up for a little bit I do I really do you know thankfully all the people who have been upset at me or I've been upset with that I give a [ __ ] about I mean this genuinely if there's some smaller CC who's jaded and there's a lot of them there's a lot lot of smaller C's that are jaded about me and they think they're unique listen I I'll be real guys if you got like 500 3,000 4,000 subs and you know I I I can't talk to everybody nor do I really wish to because that kind of just means that everybody on the internet can have the ability to communicate with me and I'll be real I just I'm just not going to do that it's like getting upset unironically at a tweet with one like you know what I mean like I'm good I will be real I think I have become a little bit more intense a little bit more severe with the way that I present some of my content on stream and I know a lot of that is due to stress and a lot of that is due to anxiety but even more so a lot of that was due to necessity and what do I mean by that well for a very long time and I'm sure you guys are aware of this uh this space was pretty much a [ __ ] war zone for me it was I had so many [ __ ] coming at me every single [ __ ] day and me defending myself was considered attacking other people whether that's indirectly or directly mentioning my name and I'm sorry man when a dumb [ __ ] steps up I'm going to put them in their [ __ ] place but I will be damned if we're going to consider self-defense as a outward attack absolutely not however I would like to say the space for gacha has gotten a lot better and drastically so I mean the majority of the problematic people in this world in this space are pretty much gone now and it's insane like they're legit just gone now I'm sure some of them are going to come back full swing for natland but uh yeah a lot of the people making the space much worse the people who would pretty much paner through the snowflakes talk about how everything has to be a [ __ ] hug box you know people who paned to the Twitter mob they're they're pretty much all gone and rightfully so I've been letting them know the error of their ways for what's now guys I'm going to say a number that's really [ __ ] disgusting six years been doing YouTube for six years now and uh we're still killing it every day twitch streams are amazing top 100 English speaking streams on the planet but I think I have trouble letting go of how things used to be and I think sometimes I come off a little bit too aggro on some of my reacts and some of my streams and uh going forward I'm going to try to give other content creators a little bit more uh a little bit more leniency I think that's been an error on my part and uh you know if I've ever given you a harsh react or to just know I apologize but I would like to also say if you are a content creator that I've never reacted to and you don't want me to react to you just let me know absolutely will never ever react to you won't mention your name it's really that easy um I I don't do any of these things out of malice I hope you guys know that well some things I do out of malice I do I don't want to lie here I do I do some things out of malice and I'm pretty sure you guys can tell uh what those are but for 99% of the time I usually don't but outliers always exist there's exceptions they're not the rules you know how it goes yeah if you don't want me to react to your [ __ ] just let me know shoot me a DM leave me a comment all good I'll take down the video too all good there's been a couple content creators not too many about two or three that have let me know no problem mum's the word don't mention them don't talk about them don't react to them I remove all the videos referencing them is what it is it's all good it's no hard feelings uh yeah and totally totally understood no ill will whatsoever at the end of the day this is supposed to be for fun right supposed to be all about uh having a good time now obviously with me understanding that you know the space used to be very hostile for me and I still think that I think that it is but in reality I think the space is actually pretty good right now there's a lot of good people at the top and that makes me really happy because it wasn't always like this and uh unfortunately a lot of CC's weren't around when the Great gotcha War happened and uh they won't really understand what I'm talking about but I know my longtime viewers know knowers know and it is what it is and maybe if you want to L dump on them sometime you're more than welcome to I know a couple content creators made a good video on that but uh yeah the next thing I would like to say is finally and tectone means finally I have medication which is great it's nothing crazy and I just want to full transparency for what it is it's just a little thing called Propranolol and what Propranolol does is it essentially lowers your heart rate promotes blood flow but one of the things that you can use Propranolol for is to counteract panic attacks and these are something that I have quite often on stream and I never know why I have them because I don't think I'm stressed I don't think that I'm nervous but I do think the thing that I am is overworked and I think I've done a lot for too long and I'll be I'll be real guys I was averaging around 260 hours of streaming just on Twitch a month that doesn't account for me having to do business meetings for the four companies that I own you know me also running my YouTube talking to my editors talking to my moderators uh coordinating content ideas coordinating future um otk ideas future gacha cast episodes helping other creators and if you're a smaller Creator I I'm sure that we've had some interaction which I really think for a lot of the larger creators of the space I don't think they can say that I don't think there's any and once again okay here we go I think there's a big difference between confidence and ego but I am going to say something that people can take as arrogance and that's fine if you want to take that go ahead it's pretty much perception is reality at this point uh I know that I do have an ego however I don't think it's a problem at my size I'm going to State a fact you can disagree if you want but know that you'll be wrong there is not a single creator of my size who has done more assistance one for the community and two for smaller creators and that is a [ __ ] fact and I know that and I'm very proud of that I'm incredibly proud of of that because I am attempting to do what I wish I had people help me with when I was smaller but when I was smaller I had nobody you know what I had three other phones that I would use to pull up my stream that way I would go from one viewer to four viewers and that's what I would do you know what else I would do I would post my goddamn [ __ ] into a Reddit upvote that [ __ ] on three different accounts get that [ __ ] from one up vote to four up votes and hope to God somebody saw my [ __ ] I refused I refused to take failure as an option absolutely not bro I'm good I have medication for my panic attacks now which is great and uh I guess it's kind of strange to admit that there was something wrong with me but man the the guilt that I would feel when the Demons of my own mind would hold me back from doing the one thing that actually made me felt good which is streaming I now I will say I definitely have an addiction to streaming I absolutely do I definitely have an addiction to content creating I absolutely do but sometimes my other addictions which is hanging out with friends in real life uh sometimes takes over I've been gone for 3 days maybe this video is a little bit dramatic but I cannot tell you how big of a deal three days off and I'm probably going to get to six days off is for me it feels like every day I'm in a hyperbolic Time Chamber of making my body feel better like I'm awake I'm active I have more energy I've had no anxiety I feel clear I feel focused I feel determined I have a lot of things I need to do I mean even just today I I picked up a new project I'm doing a new Dungeons and Dragons project which you guys will probably see in about two months I'm doing that with a couple of my buddies one that I can name uh Jimmy here which I [ __ ] love that guy to death we're starting our DND podcast today which is going to be recorded posted on YouTube later as well as I'm doing steak and eggs with asmin Gold's dad today which very excited about I I love asmin so much [ __ ] great [ __ ] dude great [ __ ] dude Emmy Em's great too she's so sweet very nice I love my Stak and X podcast and then the day after I'm flying to Florida yeah we're going to Florida guys uh my least favorite state in all of America why am I doing that well there's a content creator called Destiny and uh he wanted me to be on his podcast so I am flying out to Florida to do a quick podcast with Destiny doing two podcasts with actually and uh yeah hoping that goes well I think it'll be nice it'd be nice to meet somebody new uh it's also really funny because I know he's a very controversial figure and uh I can't wait to see how upset people get by me merely being in his presence and yeah we're doing it for a little bit of a meme but yeah I'm waking up 3:00 a.m. that day and I'm not getting back till midnight that's going to be a busy busy busy [ __ ] day uh I am quite stressed about it cuz I only want to be gone for a day because I don't like being away from my kitties who are doing very well but yeah uh a lot of things happening and then hopefully I'll be back to stream the next day if I need to take one more day off I will but we'll see that being said I am also thinking about adding in a day off every week just for me to reset but I really don't know if I can do that because I really enjoy streaming but I do think I need to take more time off I'm trying really hard but I think I'm just trying to do too much but we'll see we will see it's been a little bit of a battle on YouTube with the comments universally not just me I feel like everybody's state of their Channel right now is a [ __ ] mess just talking about Zen Zone zero will assuredly get you 80% likes to 20% dislikes people get really upset about that game and uh it it is pretty wild I will say the Goa space is in a little bit of a weird issue because before it was kind of just like cover this one game and you're good but now there's so many options and there's a lot of fragmentation however people who get how to roll with it good people who are given and I you know I don't want to be rude here but uh there are a lot of creators who are just kind of given a channel just because they so happen to cover genshin just because they so happen to be moderately attractive just because they so happened to cover that game during Co and now the people who are actually making good content compelling content are starting to rise above those who lucked out and I I hope nobody gets offended by saying that but you know a lot of content creation is luck and that was a huge Factor was the co uh creators who blew up and uh here we are I think another thing that I'm never really going to get used to is people who care more about relationships than I care about my own relationships and and what do I mean by that and and I want to say this uh for for anybody who needs to hear it just because there's two creators in the same space does not mean that they're friends and uh I I got to keep it honest with you if I have not made a personal call to that Creator if we have not talked frequently off stream in DMS we're just like not friends right I might have respect for them but you you got to get this and I feel very fortunate for me saying this which is I have so many friends right now it's absurd I used to have maybe one or two back when I was in Middle School but now I have hundreds and unfortunately when it comes to me the more good friends that I have and I have a lot of good friends guys I have a lot of good friends unfortunately I don't have time for people who suck I don't I'm going to I'm going to be a lot less tolerant because I don't really need to bust my back for relationships when I have hundreds of relationship that are perfectly functional and I'm going to be real there are a lot of content creators who suck [ __ ] dick at being a good friend they just do and there's probably a lot of y'all that suck dick at being a good friend but the amount of creators who I've attempted to be friends with that claim that were cool or were cool and I send them DM after DM after game invite after game invite and I don't get any anything in return and then those same people want to say bad friend bad friend I'm sorry bro but you don't know how to be a good friend and I think a lot of people don't know how to be a good friend I know how to be a very good friend and I'm sure anybody who is my friend knows that but it is shocking the state of 2024 content creators and their inability to understand if you are not reaching out we are not [ __ ] tight that's just how it goes and from a viewer perspective some of y'all need to [ __ ] calm the [ __ ] down losing a friendship to y'all might be a big deal to me it's usually a great thing and the reason why that is is because I don't feel like wasting time on making a relationship work that will probably prove to be a three out of 10 mediocre friendship and one CE again a lot of you guys can draw conclusions of oh he must be talking about this guy I promise you I'm not talking about one individual whatsoever I'm talking about a plethora of people a plethora of people I know a lot of you guys want me to be friends with this guy that guy do content with this guy but I'm kind of just getting to the point where I just want to make content with people I like not content that people you like because I just want to have fun on my streams and I'll I'll be real I usually can't be bothered to interact with somebody who I don't really [ __ ] with for maybe more than one podcast or two I'm just not really interested and you guys really shouldn't give a [ __ ] who I'm friends with or not you just shouldn't and also on that regard you guys also should really not try to understand my friendships with other people too because if you don't get them I don't give a [ __ ] cuz the parties involved do and I'll be real when I'm sitting there crazy comparison when I'm sitting there this is insane what I'm about to say okay when I'm having sex when I'm having sex with a woman am I going to think oh man I wonder if her best friends would approve of the technique that I'm using for intercourse I wonder if they would approve of how many back shots I'm giving this ho you know what I'm saying but it's on the internet we're like I don't really understand their Dynamic so they're abusive oh God bro just shut the [ __ ] up it's so ridiculous the internet is so well I don't you were being kind of adct to this person okay all right that's crazy how weird still cool yeah but what what did Jesus Christ think of your interaction shut the [ __ ] up bro shut the [ __ ] up if two people say they're cool then [ __ ] off and that's how it goes unless you're doing that intentionally to farm viewers in which case hey man get them but I hope you know how much of a psychopath you sound like people are [ __ ] nuts Jesus Christ the godess page is going great as far as communities or as far as the content creators go but man some of the Chatters are they're just out of their [ __ ] mind man they are out of their [ __ ] mind that whole Nat land [ __ ] oh dude people are so lucky I wasn't there to be live I was about to say the most radioactive nuclear Tak said everybody's thinking but nobody's saying but yeah bro we really are Never Getting black characters in genj back are we we're just not we're just not we're just not and people have every right to be upset at that but you got to understand right if you want a black character in your game then you shouldn't be playing genin impact to get that go play something else cuz I assure you we're not getting that in this game okay if they do we'll get a little bit tanned and they'll say they're black but uh it's just not really going to happen man okay uh Chinese companies they just don't [ __ ] do that it is what it is yeah it's wild isn't it you have these people bitching and moaning on Twitter but uh yeah there's there's no change coming to that guys there's not we've done this once now we've done this twice and as of today we have done the same drama three times in [ __ ] sane and I'm still going to farm when I get back too I got so much more to say it's exciting dude I got like 200 React videos good to go for when I get back it's going to be a wild ride but I just need you guys knowe too long didn't watch let's go over everything took some time off because I'm moving and because I'm preparing new content and because now I'm getting used to my new medication re-evaluating how I go about my content maybe easing up easing up a little bit pulling the brakes cuz I know I've been pretty uh aggro for a little bit cuz I had to be aggra but now I know I don't have to be that anymore and uh yeah just getting ready to hit the ground running taking some time off to uh manage the old anxiety and stress levels and that's pretty much it if you sat through all of this wow hope the quality wasn't too [ __ ] but I really appreciate all you guys being here hopefully you'll see how good of a mood I am when I go live next and to my twitch chat I do want you you guys to know Paris social statement coming soon I really appreciate you guys uh and I hope you guys are doing good I apologize for any of these other streamers that you're having The Misfortune of watching and I know you probably really want me to come back and I will be back soon don't worry and that subathon that you guys are wanting will be happening sooner than you might think uh big projects big reveals coming soon and yeah that is pretty much everything if you have any comments feel free to to leave one I miss you guys very much and I appreciate yall support very much and I will be back soon but just give me a couple more days okay love you guys appreciate you I'll see you on the next video bye-bye