Transcript for:
Understanding Gender Identity Discussions

hi Matt I'm transgender I'm born and raised here in New Mexico I have a graduate degree in information technology marketing business and finance I own my own home I pay taxes I have a six-figure job I'm a respected professional in Albuquerque I'm a mother uh my life experience is that I'm an awesome person I am well liked I'm responsible and I think I'm pretty cool uh you touched on something you said something earlier that for you and somebody calls you a man it doesn't phase you because like you just know that you're a man uh that was interesting to me because I feel the same way about my identity as a woman my question leading up to this you've asserted that no one would ever see me as a woman that nobody would ever see or could see a transgender person as a woman and yet I have dozens of friends from diverse backgrounds women from the reservation a woman from Japan uh several immigrant women I have my co-workers I have my boss my VP my CEO all respecting me as a woman uh my family my long-term friends who are actually here with me I all of these people assure me like I'm a woman they'll tell me girl like there is no way you're a man they see me as a woman so the question okay how can you assert that nobody would ever see me as a woman when my material experience tells me you're wrong okay it's interesting that that's the part of my talk you chose to ask a question about because that's not in my talk at all um I don't believe I said that no one would ever see you as a woman I mean it's possible I suppose that you could fool someone now you brought this up so I have to tell you that uh you brought this up you've put your identity on the table for conversation and so I'm going to say you you wouldn't fool me at all I mean I see a man 100 and I think that most people would now the the fact the fact that you have people in your life who are saying to you oh you're totally a woman it's exactly what I'm talking about no one in my life has ever once said to me you're totally a man Matt you know if my if if if if a friend of mine called me on the phone and said listen Matt I want you to know you're really a man I would think that there was something wrong with him I would say why are you saying that at all doesn't make any sense so the fact this is a conversation to begin with tells me it only it only proves the point that I'm trying to make that that your identity even in your own mind is up for is something that you need to be assured of now what I what I would like to ask you again because you're standing here and and so uh you've brought your identity and on the table for discussion so uh how did you how do you know that you're a woman uh it was first when I heard transgender persons describe their experience in their own words and this was only about two years ago uh hearing somebody describe things it was a woman from like England describing her experience her childhood uh her teenage years and it blew my mind to be listening to her because it was just some podcast that I was listening to while I was like doing laundry but it blew my mind to hear somebody so eloquently and precisely describe things that I had experiences what did they say um Okay so I am honestly hesitant I know that you touched earlier about the difficulty that transgender women might have in describing their identity but I want to state I honestly don't feel that you would engage in this conversation in good faith so why are you here why did you stand up to talk to me if you don't want to have a conversation you're saying that you discover that you're a woman I'm asking you how you did that's a very fair question okay how do you know that you're a woman that's fine all right so first of all listening to transgender people and it was like okay this is a one-off you know one person describing these things um things like looking at yourself in the mirror and not recognizing yourself uh hearing compliments like you are such an example like a positive masculine role model and just hearing that and being like you know it feels like they're talking about somebody else um it means feeling alone even when you're surrounded by guys even when you have a lot of friends and I was active in like Boy Scouts I'm an eagle scout I had great masculine Role Models my whole life and yet I never felt like I belonged I felt welcome and why does that make you a woman as opposed to just a man who doesn't get along with some other men or a man who's who's depressed or a man who doesn't feel at home totally in his body which by the way is a is a pretty Universal Human Experience everybody goes through it one time and another so so in what way does that make you a woman though it's interesting you're telling me that you listen to the experience of other transgender people well yeah but what about women so you're because you are trans women are women you would say right I would say that yeah exactly the same yes okay well then why do you need to hear the testimony of trans quote unquote trans women like how how you pick any actual woman in this room in what way do you know that you belong in the same category as them uh I know because they tell me so here was the you need them to tell you what you are women yes I trust the opinions of the women around and it's mostly it's incredible you might try it if most women voted and said they don't see you as a woman would you say I'm not a woman anymore if who if most women voted and said they don't see you as a woman anymore would you then relent and say I'm not a woman I would say most people on the planet have no idea who I am I'm gonna trust the opinions of the people who've spent their lives with me so you but you are relying on other people to tell you who you are is what we're establishing for context I know you would like to think I know you like to say um I know you like to say uh everybody's raw rawing and supporting transgender people and yet they're still killing themselves Etc um but I'm standing here in a room full of people applauding you and asking questions like how can I like put out legislation here in New Mexico you know my home state I grew up in to try to reverse transgenderism like I'm not safe and it's not safe you just said you're standing in a room people disagree with you and you're perfectly fine so how are you not safe like okay look we're going round around you you don't want to answer any of the questions maybe we'll just we'll end with this because we're talking about Womanhood so people could probably shout out the question I'm going to ask you right now okay but uh you know that you're a woman yes what is that I so gender is a social thing it only makes sense what is a woman what is a woman what is a woman word woman defined in the dictionary go a woman is somebody who is included and respected and seen and participates in society recognized by other women if you speak with women circular definition that's mine whatever okay all right okay [Music] 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