[Music] Gina Carano welcome to the show thank you thank you for having me it's an honor to have you here man we've been going back and forth for I think since last December yeah so uh been a long time coming but I'm I'm very happy you're here and and thank you for making the time to come on thank you for being so patient it feels like I don't know when January hit it just felt like it's been nonstop since then I I don't know if it feels like that for anybody else but I was on the shelf for a couple years and then bam January hit and it's I feel like I'm gone every two weeks so um but so you've been busy yeah I've been busy which is a great thing I love being busy but I've been watching you um for for a long time and just seeing how um just how wonderful you're doing and I I even know you but I really I like your demeanor I like how you speak to people I like the questions you ask and um seems like a very comfortable nice podcast you got here thank you that means a that means a lot I really appreciate that and I'm just so happy that you're here than so I'm going to start off with an introduction here so Gina corano you're an American actress and former mixed Marshall artist you are a Trailblazer for women in MMA being the first ever sanctioned female MMA bout yet had a fighting record of seven wins one loss zero ties he started major movies such as Haywire Deadpool fast in the Furious 6 the Mandalorian and the terror on the Prairie unlawfully fired and defame by Disney for speaking out and holding your ground on the lgbtq agenda covid and election fraud and with with help from Elon musk's lawyers you are currently in a suit with Disney to get your story out you become a prominent voice for free speech you are a wife a Christian and now a Montana resident I'm I'm almost a wife oh yeah almost a wife yeah we should we should be having a ceremony well congratulations yeah soon hopefully I mean when's that happening um I don't know it might happen next year we're um we're presently we we had to kind of uproot Our Lives um from living in LA and an unsafe environment and um we moved into an RV and we traveled to Tennessee Nashville Tennessee to possibly live here and in my head I was thinking I was going to end up working for the daily wire and we're going to do a movie together and we were going to get this whole you know other Hollywood started for conservatives or for not just conservatives but for anybody who just didn't want to kind of bend on the morals um and so I thought I was going to end up here and then um and I really I want to make this clear the the dve wire gave me a wonderful bench Appel gave me a wonderful phone call as soon as I was cancelled and he had said um you know you need to punch back you you can't take this line down and they had this big long list of like a you know um joining their company at that time a big contract and it was a little too much for me and I was like why don't we just start with a movie um and so when I got into the RV and traveled across like you know I took my time because letting go of where I'd lived for 15 plus years in in La you know you kind of have to reintegrate yourself into your new life and so sold the house bought the RV have no idea how to drive an RV figured it out on the way and it's like it's like the legit one you know like it's all connected you got the big boy yeah nice yeah so well how long did it take you to learn how to drive the RV well this lady was like driving us out of California and I and we also had a U-Haul so Kevin Ross who's my guy he was driving the U-Haul with all of our stuff we gave most of our stuff away and he was you know driving the U-Haul with most of our stuff we were headed to Arizona um just to drop off the U U-haul before he went to Nashville well this lady I was trying to learn from her like you know she drove us to the border and I was like trying to learn from her and she just was like honey you're just going to have to figure this out yourself you know and I was like smoker she's like it'll be fine it's not that bad and I was like [ __ ] like can you tell me what this button does like you tell me what this does and I just like was like trying to pick her brain but she didn't want to have any conversation she just wanted to do her job to get us to the border and I was like all right well um we pulled over in Walmart she unhooked her car from our RV and Kevin's looking at me and he's like well you want me to drive and like I've driven horse trailers and I've driven a lot of you know we've moved ourselves so many times in life I'm like I'm not afraid of this thing I just need to get in the seat I just need to know what this button does yeah and so that first day I drove 13 hours um to get to Prescott Arizona and there was a monsoon happening and the like the streets were a mess and I was just like yeah that this would happen to me holy [ __ ] but it was um it was great though it was a learning it was like the hardest learning curve of how do you drive an RV and then we drove that RV across um to come to Nashville Tennessee and it felt like the whole entire time a storm was following me like I remember we started we you know it was like around tornado season whenever that is but um it just felt like there was a storm following us the entire time and we went and we came out to Nashville um and we got on this this Lake um and we parked you know I always like to be right on or not Lake it was a river we parked down on the river and you know it looked like people had lived there like full time and we parked down on this River and we stayed there for about 2 weeks and then um I was going into town Nashville and speaking with the daily wire and then an Uber driver would bring me back out and um then we were finally going to get into our Airbnb that we were supposed to be in for 6 months well the day we moved out of that RV spot it started to trickle down rain at 7:00 a.m. and I was like wow this is a okay this is awesome okay so we're leaving now it's going to rain cut to the Uber driver calling me later on that day and he's like hey I I don't want to be unprofessional here but are you okay and I was like what are you talking about um yeah we just moved into our Airbnb we're great and he said the place that you were at is underwater right now and I was like oh oh okay and that was that big flood that you guys had wow and um you know when you saw those RV floating down the river I was parked next to that RV wow and some of those arvs that were flowing and like the path that we walked the days before was completely underwater um so it was really it was a God thing as well some divine intervention happening yeah because we wouldn't have had any idea and we would have lost the only home at that point we had man so we moved into uh the araban B and um had the conversation with the daily wire because at that time they were talking about sag after uh the union for actors and um and everybody else they were talking about mandating the vaccine and what would would have happened is had we started shooting this uh it was called White Knuckle and it was about a trucker who was um it was a cool you know like it would had totally been a hit kind of movie um a serial killer and um we would have needed to needed that to be Union because of the stunts that you know were involved and they said um the DA wire said look you know we hate that this is our first meeting with you um I me know you just drove across country here but we would need you to sign a contract that said that if sag came to our set and demanded that everybody on that set was vaccinated that you would um comply with getting vaccinated and I was like just absolutely and they know it brokenhearted just completely thrashed internally you know just this is everything I was standing against and then I sh I'm moved my entire life and my RV over thinking now I'm GNA find my my people and I'm gonna yeah you know and this is the first meeting wow and so um and they're not bad people they just they had to present me with the facts and the facts is we can do a $4 million movie have it be um a sag Union uh you know hit basically because it was a great script and jry Jeremy boring is like a he's a genius um so he had been working on the script and it was turning into something really special um and I just went home to the RV place cuz we're still there and I was like this just in tears just like I moved away from this I thought we were starting something different and uh very heartbroken and then I went in for the second meeting and I told him I'm just not willing to do that because who who then would we hire and they didn't want to do it either they just had to present the facts to me and they I was like who then would we hire and they said well we' hired only vaccinated people besides you and I said I feel like this is everything I'm standing against so I guess no is the answer and is that there another option and Dallas sonier he was like yes well there is another option and he said we're going to how about we just go up and make this this Western that we all like cuz Dallas is really great at making westerns even though he didn't want to do another Western he was like well and they automatically pivoted and they're like okay we'll pivot we'll go up to Montana we'll make this Western it's not the movie we're planning on making but make it we're going to only be able to make it for you know $2 million which with I don't know horses and babies and uh the W the you know Montana's big landscape and having to deal with all of that is pretty low budget MH um but we went up there and we shot ter on the Prairie while everything was closed down or they were mandating all of the stuff we didn't mandate masks they started to try to do covid tests and I was like no I'm not doing this nobody has to wear a mask nobody has to do covid tests I'm not complying with any of this you're not sticking this up everybody's nose if they don't want to do it they don't have to um and we're going to have a free set and um you know we had a free set and it was a bunch of us delinquents a bunch of us kind of like outliers out there freezing in November and you know V or is a pre Montana and uh we became a bit a big family out there and um you know made a beautiful Western but um had to take the hit on not making a big Blockbuster kind of like it wasn't the bang I feel like you know Ben chapiro and Jeremy and all of them really wanted to get you know make their statement um but it was the right thing to do man you've got a history of standing by your word and it's just you know there's basically Nobody Does that anymore and uh especially people in your position and man it's just you're just such a great example you know to people well coming up and and who are in there still who are looking for some courage and uh just thank you for being that way thank you I mean I'm a complete you know human being with such incredible flaws um everywhere um and I wouldn't put me on any pedestal I or I don't want people to I I think that the world has gone so far um into sickness that just when somebody's just regularly kind of thinking healthier or more logically that's actually an act of courage and um and then I was like well you know I've been through a lot I feel like we all have been through so much but you know I wasn't pressured when I was a little girl I wasn't pressured um I have to thank my mom for being my my leader in this like don't sacrifice yourself you know value yourself and so I wasn't pressured by um Hollywood I never never um you weren't pressured or the pressure didn't affect you um I wasn't I never sacrificed myself to get a job I never um I never I I never had the me too moment I mean I've had awful moments that would have considered like yeah that was extremely inappropriate on their part but I wasn't a participant MH um so I just really held on held on to I you know my agent and manager at the time used to get so upset with me cuz they're like Gina you're always saying no and I'm like well you know I'm not doing that so it just uh kind of stuck we're more than halfway through the year and let's fast forward to the end did you check off your dream goals or are you still dating dreaming if mastering a new language is on your list babbles ready for you don't waste hundreds of dollars on private tutors speak like a whole new you with Babel the science-backed language learning app that gets you talking Babel's 10-minute lessons are quick and handcrafted by over 200 language experts ready to get you talking your new language in 3 weeks because talking is the key to really knowing any language many of you know I recently travel do Austria for an interview Babel was perfect for learning basic phrases and words I needed to get around getting up to speed fast made my trip stressfree and I'll be using Babble speech recognition technology to help perfect my pronunciation and accent for the next one here's a special limited time deal for our listeners right now get up to 60% off your Babel subscription but only for our listeners at babble.com SRS get up to 60% off babel.com SRS spelled babbel.com SRS rules and restrictions May apply visit babel.com for terms and details you've got only a few months until the 2024 election takes place and who knows where the country is going to be what will the national debt be how many more political tricks will there be that's why I've teamed up with a toprated precious metals company gold code to diversify and help protect my savings with gold and silver before it's too late we live in unprecedented times and for me that calls for Action gold Co made sure I had all the information I needed to make the best decision for myself and for my family they've helped people like you and me place over two in a half billion dollars into gold and silver right now they're offering up to 10% instant match in bonus silver if you qualify while supplies last so go to Shan likes gold.com or call 855 936 gold and see if you qualify to get your bonus silver today you'll also get a complimentary wealth protection kit to learn more about what precious medals can do for you that's 855 936 gold or visit shaikes gold.com performance may very consult with your tax attorney or financial professional before making an investment decision my fight name actually in MMA was conviction so that's kind of St stuck nice and I pray to God you know that it does stick continually through my life you know I have plenty of awful stories I could tell you about myself you know but um but I feel like I'm on the up and up and finally I was wondering when maturity would kick in I was thinking it would like oh 30s yeah anytime but it really honestly didn't kick until 40 I was a late bloomer still waiting but um so how did you wind up in Montana I mean was it was it that set because of the we were supposed to shoot the White Knuckle uh the daily W White Knuckle sag Union and all of that in Nashville in Tennessee area um they the the director um he knew he he was from Montana and so we went up to Montana and we ended up shooting up in Montana and I fell in love with it I fell in love with pre Montana I had seen 25 States at that time you know just by traveling in Nashville and taking our time and then like traveling back and just seeing like all these states and then when I got to Montana I just looked at this big Open Sky and I was like I can breathe here and I feel safe here you know I felt I feel safe in Montana and the people are so they don't do they don't they're not going to make it easy on you like oh you want horses yeah well you're going to learn how to handle your own horses and um it's just been such a learning I mean it's kind of funny cuz I come out here and I'll get dressed up and you know but when I go back home I'm Shoveling you know horse stuff and trying to figure out how to how to get into these horses like trust area and take care of them and then the chickens are a whole another thing cuz so you're doing the whole thing out there you got a little you got a ranch well yeah it's a little little ranch I'm trying to figure out the weeds I love my John Deere zero turn it's one my favorite things ever I freaking love it never been on a I mean in the never done any of this I mean I used to ride horses when I was little but my poor stepdads did did all the work now I'm doing the work and Kevin's doing the work and I love getting on that John Deere and just like trying to figure out how can I make this look pretty without all of this dead grassing around cuz you get that that long grass that goes up to like waist and I always get stuck and I've almost flipped it a couple times because the damn thing like you know catches on the branches and I just all my neighbors probably just look at me like good Lord everybody thinks we should have a reality show just based on me man I love Montana I I just love it up West they've done it was calm a great job of uh land conservation yeah you know cuz here I me I don't I don't know how much you recognize but this place Nashville area Franklin like seems like uh I was just in Knoxville it seems like they have conserved a lot of land there that's good I mean just flying in I was like there's trees and there's Knoxville looks pretty nice they are turning this into a concrete jungle over here it's pretty sad Nashville kind of reminds me of old school Vegas like a western old school Vegas cuz my family I'm a Nevada girl even though I was born in Dallas um but Nashville feels like uh what my papa must have seen my papa Jackie is my grandfather he passed um last year and it must have been what he would have seen when he moved from Ardmore Oklahoma to Las Vegas and just had this little tiny strip and uh he he actually got into the gas station business oh really mhm so he borrowed $5,000 from my grandmother's mom mama cob and uh got a partner and they got this gas station and then the hotels started going up all around them and so the hotels you know some of the mafiosos they uh they didn't like that you know people were coming over to the gas station to get gas into you know get the convenience store which my grandma was smart enough to say buy the land so um they put up a a a wire fence so that would make it all the all the way through the to the sidewalk and so my papa had to go over there and asked them to take the wire fence down and had to do a deal with them and they said okay we'll take the wire fence down as long as we can put slot machines in your gas stations and so they Bartered there no kidding yeah yeah that was like 75 years ago when they moved there um yeah that's crazy and then the other family was in Reno Nevada getting into the C casino business so both of my grandfathers are quite um yeah a Nevada girl no kidding mhm well I want to dig into your childhood but first everybody on the show gets a gift another gift another gift the chocolate any guesses um coffee no no what is this those are vigilance League gummy bears oh very cool made in the USA they're still legal in all 50 states what do they uh weed gummy be oh they're just gummy bears just everybody thinks that we had somebody email in saying they're on their fifth bag and they don't feel anything and my my I have I had VC on you know VC oh yeah I love him and he ripped One open immediately I don't know person I don't know him personally so I can't say I love him but I just I appreciate his voice I do too I really like that guy smart man seems like he Dove right in and I said yeah the effects of those will kick in here in about 30 minutes I'm going to try one I'll try one this is very cool so why did you decide that you wanted gummy bears oh man it's a long story but uh so I told you downstairs I was in the Tactical training business for a while and I was kind of look at the market and see what everybody's doing and then I do the opposite and um so everybody in that game was it was all protein shakes and chicken breasts and fun for [ __ ] and I was like man I like junk food so okay this is what we're doing and then I was going to make CBD gummies and uh my marketer told me don't do that you'll get sued like Jewel for marketing to kids so I said fine we'll just do regular gummy bears cuz I love gummy bear that f for that I guess I guess that's like unfortunate so that's how that came about you should have her on I would love to have her on Joel we think you're wonderful come on on absolutely he's a wonderful man thank you but um but uh yeah so I just I think we should do a life story and then uh towards when we get to that point we'll talk all about Disney and and uh all the great stuff they're doing these days yeah but um hard-hitting shows they're really man but uh but yeah so where did did you grow up I was born in Dallas Texas I was lived there for one and two years old my dad played for the Dallas Cowboys back of quarterback to Roger stalak so uh he didn't see a lot of playing time but he did play Thanksgiving and he did well um he was a quarterback at UNLV and until Randall cunning him uh broke his records so he had a he was quite an athletic um awesome human being very charismatic like it's so funny he has this big afro and he's like very like they look like nor like I think it's Northern Italians like darker Italians although you know he has a lot more Italian than I do but are you know it's it's obviously like going away you know the more I got Southern from armore Oklahoma and then I've got um Italian um from my padon corono um so yeah he uh he was playing uh for the last Cowboys so we lived there and I was born there um while a tornado was trying to touch down while I was being born oh wow yeah so I always feel like a storm is chasing me I have a thing with weather I I have a very a sensitivity to weather um and then um then we moved to Nevada after he retired well we moved to Pittsburgh because they started a whole new um smaller League that didn't last and so we lived there for 2 years and then we moved to Nevada and he joined the rest of his um family in the hotel business oh so that was Reno Nevada uh lived there till I was eight and then my mom's who had uh she was raised in born in Las Vegas with my Papa Jack who I told about the gas stations mhm and so we moved to um Las Vegas and yeah we grew up in Las Vegas which is not somewhere I would suggest raising children yeah what um and you have two sisters yeah where do you fall in line um where do you think I fall on line do I look like a first middle or child or like a baby first really nope I say that because the leadership oh well that would be a longer story but I'm the middle you're in the middle child no kidding yeah definitely wouldn't have guessed that I see things from all directions right on yeah right on what kind of stuff were you into as a kid um well getting into trouble um me and my older sister we just had a she loved she's this like free spirit and she just wanted to learn about what she was missing out on in life I guess you'd have to ask her but she we lived out in the middle like 30 45 minutes outside of town well now there's all there's houses out there but she loved to sneak out every night and then um I had a best friend Michelle who's still a good friend and we would you know fish for 40s which were strangely like easy to get from people from like 71s fish for what 40 40s what is that like 40 ounces of um beer right on and um Old English actually which I tried it a couple years ago and I cannot believe we used to drink that so hard I mean destroyed my myself I mean we would get our 40s and then uh a couple times like me and my friend Michelle we would like climb up the the back you know and like try to figure out how to jump up to get to that or like build something to get to that ladder and then get on top of the you know 7-Eleven we're all in eighth grade I don't know how old you are when you're there we just like watch all the drug deals happen below and you know we be drinking our 40s on top of 7-Eleven nice um yeah we got into trouble a lot and my childhood but then by playing basketball softball volleyball I think um I loved competition I loved doing that um that was like a release for me and so um that kept me on the straight and narrow and so my we went to a tiny small Christian School in the middle of Las Vegas like 5 minutes away from this trip and right next to a gay bar and right next to a jewelry um store that was always getting robbed and across the street from a pool hall my dad was pissed that this is where my mom wanted to send us to school but she you know she just wanted us to go to a Christian School and um it was a pretty delinquent school with some precious people in it and um you know our our tires are getting slashed by like the the middle school next door you know so it was just kind of like a funny existence no kidding yeah I only graduated with 30 kids 30 other kids um and so when we started playing basketball like I mean barely anybody knew how to get the ball across you know half court and we were getting crushed all the time and so um I don't know I was a natural athlete and I moved my myself from a forward because our our point guard couldn't get the ball when I was in eighth grade could she couldn't get it past half court and so then I just took over and you know um me and my sister played together for two two years she my older sister was very much more graceful than I was in basketball I was just like a beast like just a beast sometimes i' you know I get the top score sometimes you would see like I'm surprised I didn't Crush down that poor you know basketball hoop um but uh if anybody fouled my my my teammates like uh they were getting faou there was going to be held to pay huh there was going to be held because they were you know my best friend was like this tiny little super aggressive like defense her name's Ashley super with de events and so they'd like elbow her and she was Tiny and she's like you know the pastor's daughter and she wouldn't really do anything about it so then so then I would like I would do something about it nice so I um yeah and we ended up going all the way to State and Winning State for single a this little tiny Christian School man I got my eardrum busted out they I think all the all the mothers were like ah you know from the other teams like I thought there were supposed to be a Christian School cuz we just like were fighting out there you know traving around just try fighting to try to like you know we're just had this very small amount of people on our team and then um I got top score at our state tournament in Reno Nevada and we only won won by one point it was a a gift that I could give my grandfather that he was our coach um we didn't have outfits we didn't have you know we he bought us all our outfits new he bought all of the um uh the male Varsity juniority outfits new he bought um UNLV the massive contributor to sports for UNLV because he was a big believer in sports saving children's lives so um he was a he was having us running these plays these college plays by my senior year and we we built up a team and then at the end we ended up winning state which was a victory wow yeah very special we never we both me and my papa who's now passed never went back and watched that game but I was I was like throwing him from like half court and everybody was like no no and oh okay this is good okay it went through and then it was funny because I went from point guard and there's just massive middle that just you know nobody could defend her and um so I go from point guard back to like just all all over this massive uh woman and I I I shut her down and so that's why we won wow a big reason why we won so so you were kind of a protector from a super young age yeah and I just you've carried that with you all the way through life yeah well I think after my parents got divorced um you know my sisters are not you know we needed one we needed a protector in our home and um who else was going to do it and so I you know I felt so just internally that that I I am the protector and I'll protect them and I tried my my hardest when you say so this started at home so what did you need to protect her from at home um we my older sister had gotten into some extremely heavy drugs like meth well I tried meth my first time in ninth grade and um you know it started getting more and more introduced to us and um you know she you know she she just you know I like to respect to privacy but she just you know needed help mhm and it caused a extremely dangerous upbringing that I know she didn't mean you know she's a beautiful person but it um it caused me to grow up fast and I wanted to make sure my little sister didn't experience it like I did and so um I just had to I had to step up because my mom was Torn to Pieces my dad was Torn to Pieces my dad lived in a different city and nobody really knew what to do and I knew you know all the friends and I knew all you know what was going on so um like her best friend was taken it was so deep that her best friend Camille was taken out um she got involved I think in between two of the drug you know uh gangs and was taken out in the middle of a desert and shot are you serious her your s this is your sister's best friend yeah when we were in high school and I remember we used to in our truck we used to like drive around in our baby blue truck and you know just be wild and just love it and Camille was so full of life and just just this is really you know was not afraid to throw down and she was all 5'2 and um just a beautiful person who you know just got wrapped up in drugs and the wrong people that you know that that is Las Vegas and that is childhood to me wow how did you find out she was she got rolled up in the middle of the desert um they found her yeah and we got taken me I went with my older sister to the funeral um and like I tell these stories and uh that's just I don't know why that was our situation cuz I came from a really well-to-do family after my grandfather's made such a wonderful life so I have such a different perspective than even my a lot of my cousins have you know I have the perspective of what life can be in this glorious beautiful like you know Rich you know rich and famous people and then I have this other perspective of um you know um losing so many people to such unnecessary children like people in their 20s I mean uh in Las Vegas just losing them to it usually had to do with drugs I lost my um friend Bert who that that was a tough one my boyfriend my ex-boyfriend's brother ended up killing him in the middle of the desert stabbing him 31 times and um that Bert used to live with me in my like early 20s like it was Unreal that we were experiencing these kinds of things and you know and that's mild I think compared to a lot of what people experience in on in Los Angeles in Chicago and you know but I got a taste of that kind of Lifestyle which um I don't know I would never raise children not that I have any or I don't know if I plan on having any but I wouldn't raise them in the city yeah well I mean that's yeah that's why me and my wife moved out of where we were in Florida for the exact same reasons but I mean what at what age did that kind of exposure to that life style start yeah um I would say my sister was a my older sister was a free spirit so that was from early you know um but around I think after she had moved to college and then started coming back things got pretty serious um around 16 is when things started really ramping up for me where I would you know take cough syrup and just have to be up all night um chasing you know her around the town and then I would get that cating cough syrup and just try to sleep during the day and then try to make it to basketball practice or softball practice and the whole you know staff faculty kind of knew what was going on in my house at that time so they um yeah they the principal at one time you I got kicked out of English class cuz I was exhausted and the principal knew me and knew my situation so she said you know honey come on and just sleep on my couch for a couple hours so it was a yeah that's when that started Ed damn but my you know I feel like we have I'm very sensitive to it too uh a severe mental health problem um that is inspired by uh you know taking the innocence of children in whatever way whether that's sexual or if it's introducing them to drugs and alcohol or whatever it is um is that is that Gateway it it it's a problem because if you don't protect children when they're younger and give them a solid base then they're starting off from um a shaky Foundation that doesn't like help them in their life and so um my older sister she's a tough one and she's doing good hopefully I love you um if she ever watches this and I am proud of everything that she came through and um I know that she tries every single day and like so much of us do and then my little sister um I think she got more of like a protected not perfect but more of a protected uh uh upbringing not perfect but uh so she's actually over like she's a complete opposite she makes sure everything's perfect and she's got three little girls and my older sister's got this adorable little girl so are you guys close um yeah yeah but you know there is that you have to work with mental mental health you know between all of us you know like we have to work on our mental health and if I've been in bad places mental health in my life just like anybody has um you know and my life could have gone bad and South at one point um um multiple times but mixed martial arts is the thing that brought me uh instead of going the direction that I saw all of these people going in Las Vegas mixed martial arts put me on the right path and I became addicted to that instead of you know fishing for 40s well by that time I was [Music] 21 so when you when you say I mean was there a specific incident that happened that made you kind of take the role as a protector within your family or was it gradual um I think I think some things you just kind of all expressed through ART instead of put into words which is why I like art because you really can't like share without betraying people you care about and so I think I'd rather Express those kinds of things through ART okay well let me ask you this then so I I just I didn't have a childhood like that and just from doing you know these interviews with all kinds of people you know um from all walks of life what I've realized is and and you're part of this Testament now is there's so many kids out there that go through sexual trauma abuse physical and sexual I mean it's it's I I don't have exact numbers but it's like every guest that comes through here now has been through something as a kid and um so I guess what I'm asking is there's there's obviously a ton of kids that are going through similar situations right now with a with a with a you know a tough home life and going through all kinds of trauma and so what advice would you have for kids that are going going through something similar to that well and I can share this cuz this is and he has shared it on the J Rogan podcast his name is Kevin Ross and um first of all I I would like to say my mother and my father and my family are incredible and uh there was no sexual sexual abuse coming from my family you know um my mother and father are wonderful and they did the best they could to protect us um with my mom working jobs and um uh my dad working heavy job and living in a different city and you know um so they did the absolute best they could and so when you hear these stories um even when I have dinner with my mom and she she she bursts into tears because she was the kind of mom that would you know you come home let me smell your breath and you know we're sitting down at the table and we're praying and even when her and my dad got divorced it was we're praying for your father on the way to school and she was um and still is my she is now my best friend and is heartbroken to hear you know like the what the world that we kind of me and my older sister kind of like were experiencing um and my dad is just he's just a wonderful man he just was a very much workaholic and was getting getting it done and being there for his family which was just hustling and still hustling hustling to this day you know they um are an incredible family so they um are wonderful people and I am blessed to have come from this family of two groups two different clans of one of the most beautiful gentle-hearted amazing people and so my childhood and becoming The Protector you know uh they tried their best and so this can actually happen I feel like to people with wonderful families even if they're broken families it can H things can happen you know to anybody and the you you're left watching these parents like Fall to Pieces like how could this happen we thought we were you know doing the best we could and we're good parents and um and it's not it's not the parents fault you know because the world is a a sick world and it grabs a hold of them um but I can tell you of the story of um a success story of a sexual abuse which happened to Kevin who is my um heart and he actually grew up in a home that uh he was with his dad living with his dad who he was living with her around like 13 14 and um his dad had a wife who is you know somewhere in her 30s and um his dad was out of town all the time and so his dad would leave and this woman would give Kevin ecstasy and um sexually abuse him for 2 years and uh Not only was she doing that to you know a 14-year-old for 2 years then she was doing it also to an 11-year-old for 2 years and um when I look at Kevin and I look at that kind of extreme uh thing that happened to him it's like he wakes up every day for for a long time it wasn't good you know for a long time he hurt himself a lot um and then he found mix martial arts and instead of cutting up his body or drinking himself halfway to death or you know doing drugs and all of that he um picked up mixed martial arts and it was nice CU his dad was sitting there and he had his Kevin had his 40 in his hand and didn't have any money to pay for classes and his dad was like seeing how out of control it was getting and we loved each other so much you know at that time I was like 21 and he was 23 and I was getting out of control and who had been out of control and his dad said what would it take for you to put down that uh 40 Old English and um Kevin's like well his best friend had died of a heart failure early on and he said he promis mo that he would become a fighter someday and that's what was a dream and so um he told his dad well if I if you give me some money to go into mixed martial arts then I'll put this down you know and if you know 40 of old englishes or at least back in that time you had to finish your 40 you don't not finish it right and his dad is like well then put it down right now and I'll do that for you and I'll give you your first you know um money to go and take classes and it was hard decision for Kevin you know and you put it down left it there and um you know had certain bouts in his life where he you know experimented with drinking here and there you know now he can actually have like a beer or two and he's fine he's not like a um but for a decade he had to really not drink anything and he became um what I would consider the ground breaker the groundbreaking uh Muay Thai um person who um just made morai extremely popular um in America and by watching him clean up his life and I'm absolutely head over Hills for him still am I would go in and watch him and I started training and then we got introduced to this beautiful Thai culture and a respect you know of like you know when they ask you to say master toddy or Master Chan and you're sitting there like I'm going to call somebody master like this is oddd um but then you're like all of a sudden you're likea you know Master toddy Anda Master Chan and bowing before and after and um you know it's just a beautiful self-discipline that we chose and let the rest of the group kind of you know they kept on partying they kept on drinking and um eventually burp pasted and we just kind of like decided that me and him were G to we we weren't going down that way and so we miss mixed martial arts I believe God brought mixed martial arts into my life to um make sure I didn't end up um how I had seen so many people end up in my life wow so you got so you got into marshal arts through your boyfriend Kevin yeah Kevin feel say fiance we just need to have the ceremon as all and you guys are still together to this day so we took a big and it's really funny my mixed martial arts career took off as soon as I started people wanted because I was good because I was athletic um Kevin was good as well but people are just so fascinated by how is this female like you know doing this so I um I just really took off and I had a lot of first for women's sports I was a first sanctioned female bout in Las Vegas which by the way my dad and I always give him a hard time for this but I love him for it he didn't want me to fight you know neither did my papa Don um so they call up the boxing commission CU my dad used to be on the boxing commission he was actually he was actually on the boxing commission when uh Mike Tyson bit the ear no way yeah yeah so so he um he really liked Mike Tyson actually a lot you know cuz he understood his background and um he understood that he Tyson came from such a troubled background my my dad actually had uh really a lot of empathy in his heart for Him um when that that ear bite happened just to find out like you know Holyfield right he'd been in the ear years earlier so it's like you know it happens yeah um but so they called the boxing commission uh for this first female sanction bout and they said there's no way you're going to let my my daughter is not going to be the first female s sanctioned MMA bout it's not happening because I'd been doing Muay Thai before that I had garnered a record of 12 wins one loss and one draw and Muay time so I was ready to move to MMA by that point and um and so my family wasn't having it and so I was going through all of these tests and all of these extra stuff and uh Herb Dean you know the referee in the UFC he would always laugh cuz he knew how they tried to stop me from being a fighter and then um and then they became my biggest supporters then they became uh just so proud of me and my dad's proud of me my papa Don before he passed he was proud of me so you know they weren't able to stop it my first fight was with a girl who shouldn't have been in there with me because I had a record of 121 in1 and Muay Tha and I was doing well um so I finished her off in 39 seconds um 39 seconds yeah but it's was just like you know those old UFC fights that you see yeah that's what this looks like like I wasn't getting the under hooks I went over it was just it was pretty funny but I just kind of like machine machine gun down on her and they called it and I got the I got the bug for MMA then and then um had a beautiful career uh yeah how did they so you started in Muay Tha and correct me if I'm wrong but you were you went to Thailand yeah and trained there yeah we went to Thailand and trained um which was one of the best experiences of my life and I'm sure you can attest to traveling um is so important for people to see other countries and see how they live and there's the good and the bad in it you know there's the part where you really appreciate what America has and it gives you a whole appre appreciation and then there's another part of um you know just the uh respect level of like uh not taking things for granted and wasting things you know um and so you couldn't just walk into a thae gym then maybe you could now since it's getting more popular but then it was like you better earn being here and if you're if you're you're going to get your ass kicked if you're you're not supposed to be here we don't want that here yeah and so you'd always have to you'd always have to take the jokes and you'd have to smile and Nod for about two weeks and until they realized that you were serious and then after a month you're in wow and then they just opened up their hearts and Ty people are such such beautiful people and um they struggle a lot with people coming to their country and um completely sexually abusing all of them you know like at everybody from around the world goes to Thailand and thinks let's go to the ping pong shows let's go down and walk the you know Strand and prostitution and sex trafficking and um it's right there it's not hidden it's right there for everybody to see and um I remember we were walking out of a bar one night after we we just fought we all did pretty good and we're all banged up and bruised which is actually one of the best feelings in the world after a fight and you win and I don't you you almost if you don't have a black guy you wish you would you have one you know cuz it feel feel like went through that and so as long as if your body is all banged up and bruised you feel like you did something and I'm telling you these these small tie girls they could kick like there's nobody that kicks like the ties they have that down they have it in their blood um you never been kicked so hard than by a tie person I'll guarantee that but I remember I was walking out and it was like 2:00 and I saw these two children playing you know on the road and I look up and there a man up on some staircases in like shadows and um I was I was pretty drunk and I realized what that was and um it was sex trafficking and it was a sexual abuse it was like whatever Foreigner that wanted to come in and do it have their way with these children at 2: a.m. that's what they were out there for and it was a boy and a girl and I'll never forget it even though I was you know drunk and they literally the thae guys said no no no no no no we got to keep walking got to keep walking you cannot make a scene here and like they were Translating that through to and I just was balling crying while they like two people got on both sides of me and they just kind of drug me away from that and wow it's just that's a normal thing that's how happening on our border that's all over our border and I had one tiny experience of it and it devastated me this show is sponsored by better help what are your self-care non-negotiables maybe you never Skip Leg Day or maybe you always take a bubble bath when your schedule is packed with kids activities big work projects and more it's easy to overlook taking care of yourself but when you feel like you have no time for yourself non-negotiables like therapy are more important than ever therapy is helpful for learning positive coping skills and how to set boundaries it empowers you to be the best version of yourself and it isn't just for those who've experienced major trauma therapy is for everyone it's important to take care of you so you can keep taking care of everyone else therapy helps you do just that if you're thinking of starting therapy give better help a try it's entirely online designed to be convenient flexible and suited to your schedule just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge never skip therapy day with betterhelp visit betterhelp.com Shanay to get 10% off your first month that's betterhelp hp.com Shan when I first started this whole podcasting thing an online store was about as far from my mind as you can get and now most of you already know this but I'm selling vigilance Elite gummy bears online we actually have an entire merch collection that's coming soon and let me tell you it is so easy because I'm using a platform that is extremely userfriendly and that's Shopify Shopify is the global Commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business what I really like about Shopify is it prompts you all the things that you want to do with your web store like connect your social media accounts write blog post just have a Blog in general Shopify actually prompts you to do this you want people to leave reviews under your items you can do that on Shopify it's very simple Shopify helps you turn browsers into buyers with the internet's best converting checkout 36% better on average compared to the other leading Commerce platforms Shopify is a global Force for millions of entrepreneurs in over 175 countries and power 10% of all eCommerce platforms here in the United States you can sign up right now for $1 a month it's shopify.com Shan that's all lowercase go to shopify.com Shan now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in that's shopify.com Shan and it's um you know Satan wants to crush the ones closest to him and those are children and so children is like been placed on my heart since beginning of the lawsuit before the lawsuit happened I prayed I was like God is I'm just out here in a desert T cancelled and I don't know um where you're going to have me but if there's any way I can do anything it would be to help children not lose their innocence not use lose their you know have a safer environment in any capacity that I can and um a week later is when I got the phone call from X or the email from X that said we'd like to take up your case well we'll get there yeah we'll get there but let's stick let's stick with MMA now although I am like there seems to I don't know really much about Hollywood or how any of this kind of stuff works but I definitely see a wave of people that are tired of Hollywood and and whatever goes on in there which I'm hoping you can give me some insight into but what I do see is these I don't know if that what you would call them production companies maybe but these smaller like more Boutique is type production companies like the daily wire like Angel Studios seems to be coming out with some I mean amazing sound of Freedom was amazing yes that was great and I guess I got another one coming out here soon that has to do with yeah with uh I think it's the do you know about it is it the foster care system or the adoption system or something it was already out or not but yeah I know what you're talking about and I think I've had a couple people say that they've seen it and they absolutely love it um Angel Studios is putting out some real quality stuff I feel like our our little Western had a lot going against it but I think it's still I'm proud of it I'm proud of under the circumstances that we were on under I think that we put a cute a nice uh Western out there um and then daily wire is doing something called called the P pendon Cycle which I think is just going to be an absolute um like I'm so excited I'm I'm I'm excited for those actors I'm excited for those actresses um they got to travel to Rome they got to travel to Budapest they got to you know use their accents and get into character and Jeremy boring is an absolute phenomenal Storyteller and I can only imagine the type of director he could be because I've seen his delivery on scripts and he is very very like I saw a picture of him on his Instagram and I was like he's shining because this is where he's supposed to be and so um you know there's no uh no bad blood between me and the daily wire Angel Studios has never contacted me but um I support those two um companies wholeheartedly because they're giving other people an option to not have to you know do things that compromise their beliefs and it's beautiful so I I'm I'm more excited about these little superstars that are going to come out of these shows yeah and um and then they're going to get contacted by Hollywood and they're going to have to make their decisions and you know see if they're going to stick to their values or not because they will be faced with all of it you think Hollywood will pick them up oh yeah Hollywood struggling Hollywood is um dying it's um it's either that 1% where you get the the Oppenheimer is that Oppenheimer you either get the those wonderful great movies and you get like that 1% of like awesome actors that you know or you're getting um the younger group that God bless them you know like that they're being just manufactured to be in that 1% but what happens when you do that is you're losing art you're losing Soul like everything that we love uh about like I don't know watching films is like watching somebody's Soul come out and when you train that too hard out of a person all actors start looking the same there's only so many Le Leonardo DiCaprio movies you can watch there only so many accents you can do he's awesome um I mean he he's amazing but you know what I mean like you you want in my opinion you want to keep art free mhm and right now they're manufacturing everything so they can they can control it and that goes from writers directors to you know actors and that's why we're we're struggling that way and we're struggling and I mean where were the musicians throughout Co where were the rappers where was freaking Tupac you know where were these people that were saying no we're not doing this they were getting paid off to say go put this in your arm and put a muzzle over your face and it's it's very obvious now who who benefited from the lockdowns who the the ones who shut their mouth still have the jobs and you know work their way their way up and the ones who struggled or the ones that said something had to restart their Liv lives got kicked out of their jobs lost you know family members lost human beings and um didn't cower to these large corporations so uh it's very very black and white now where there used to be a lot more Middle Ground so hopefully daily wire Angel Studios and um you know like what I'm doing I'm A Lone Ranger not surprising but I'm going to I'm going to do my own thing since I since I apparently don't really fit anywhere I'm not I'm not woke and then I'm not you know I guess I'm not like conservative enough I'm somewhere strangely in this Middle Ground just being true to yourself yeah there's not very many people like that left yeah I mean honestly though would you be I mean would I have it any other way yeah I mean looking back no but it's been been hard it's been lonely um but it also changed my perspective on they can't I see it all now you know I wouldn't say all of it but I see it for what it is now and it's um you know I I I'm kind of going through a thing right now uh actually with this with the show that we're releasing today it's going to release in like 20 minutes yeah I heard you and wondering what that was yeah it's uh well I went and interviewed this isn't about me so I'm just going to Breeze through this but I went and interviewed the leader the commander of the Afghan resistance in Vienna and uh because I want the truth about what happened with the withdrawal yes and he has warnings for the US and the US is blacklisted them the state department blacklisted them these are the guys that we that the seals the Green Berets the the special ops units trained and worked alongside with for 20 [ __ ] years just to watch Biden and his administration abandon them and and um not only abandon them but I mean their their wives are being raped their daughters are being raped their sons are being killed and raped and they are assassinating these guys and just one by one and they can't even I mean we we didn't even burn anything in that country when we left that usually there would be like a we would destroy classified material well we had Biometrics we had photos we had retina scans we had everything these of our allies because you know for a Westerner to go into an Arab country you can't tell people apart you know it's it's hard and so that's how you do on purpose that that we didn't burn anything I don't know you know I wasn't there because now that is being used so now they're using that they can they can walk around with these cameras go door too take a picture and it will tell you you know e this is so and so who is part of the Afghan Special Forces working alongside you know this SF group and anyway so I wanted to expose that and I've been kind of on a trail of doing that and um I get worried you know cuz nobody else is doing this [ __ ] I worry about my family I worry about and I talk to um this uh gentleman is named Scott B he's a retired Lieutenant Colonel uh in the uh Green Berets and I just I I call him as a sounding board and uh he's like I told him you know I feel like very alone nobody else is doing this and and you know this comes with a price and uh he said he said when you do the right thing when nobody else is doing it it feels very alone and so he's right and you're doing the right thing and uh he just told me this like yesterday so it's it's just kind of a weird coincidence that you're talking about how alone you feel for doing the right thing and uh and that you're feeling that too I mean it just just so as shitty as it feels I mean it kind of lets you know you're on the right track because there aren't very many people out there doing the right thing anymore or maybe they're not necessarily doing the wrong thing but they sure as [ __ ] aren't standing up for what's right you know isn't that something I get I get an actress pulled me aside yesterday at the Knoxville Fan Expo speaking as slowly as she could I appreciate everything you're doing I'm on your side and I'm so tired I'm so tired of it yeah like enough of I mean president Trump was shot at a couple days ago and you have people making fun of it oh darn it missed him and it's like it actually killed a man and I went off on the you know I went off on Jack Black on he's a you know that it goes along with my case as well it's like you're going to allow a man to stand up on stage and uh oh shoot it didn't kill an ex-president uh or the last president and but it did kill someone and uh it's just the sickness and the evilness it's like it's getting more and more easy to distinguish uh between good and evil because it's becoming so much more uh obvious and it's floating to the surface and they're losing the ability to hide hide what is good and evil and um and it's becoming you know it's becoming very obvious so um you know I and do I think Jack Black is a you know a bad person I don't probably not he's probably just not thought it through and didn't didn't really realize what he was saying at that moment [Music] um it's ignor ignorance is bliss but um didn't he come out and apologize he did put something out today that said he's canceling his tour or something and you know um and you know I think is he canceling us to or did they just I think I think they canel it and then he said he canel it so who knows funny it's funny how sorry people are every time it dents the bank account now I'm sorry yeah my it's just kind of like we got so much repercussions for how many years now and I you know how many years has people before me been getting repercussions uh you know I came in late and I feel like I'm making quite a stamp and drawing attention to it that this is enough like you shouldn't have to hide your beliefs and you shouldn't have to freedom of religion you should have freedom to um you know talk about who you're voting for there needs to be uh there's a a Democrat Republican and independent party for a reason and we should be able to have these debates it shouldn't be you get kicked out of Hollywood because you're a Republican and Republicans shouldn't be having to hide in certain areas and have underground groups uh which they do have um in order to speak about what they believe in and um you know where is that where is that oh I wouldn't know I no Republican underground groups yeah in from who they they could not come out and and say in Hollywood that you're basically a republican you just had to keep your mouth shut and you can get work um but all day long you know we see s Sarah Silverman flashing you know the the the hey vote for Trump or no vote for Biden and you'll get this you know and like and they do compilations of Mark Rufio and S Sarah Silverman and you know all these people are just like like Vote for This vote for this I mean they're just completely selling themselves for the Democrat Party did you see any celebrities doing any campaigns whatsoever to hey vote for the Republicans you know and not that I would consider myself um I consider myself just you know somewhere in the middle um I think I lean more towards being a Conservative Republican now than I ever have but I also am like you know an artist and I feel like you know I don't want to be trapped too far in a box to where I don't have the freedom of like exploring things um I do have morals that are extremely important to me with um that I have now kind of I guess become more responsible to which I didn't have before 2019 and those grow every day and that's uh that's that's a complicated thing trying trying to tell stories in a this kind of atmosphere and have morals be placed in these stories as well because I'm an action girl and I love action um and I'm also drama and I could I could do any of it I think but um you know when we're we're actually creating this uh really cool um little sci-fi uh script at the moment which will probably be our first you know my my first comeback film me and my manager and a writer and um it's turning out really cool but I have to make sure I'm not I'm writing that fine line of like not going too far with things and making sure that I'm staying convicted to uh my what I would want you know my sister and her children to see you know um at a certain age and not have it be a bad thing so so it's a very fine line that I'm writing and I know God's God's going to just let me know you stepped over there he has a very fun way of dealing with me when I'm when I've stepped over any line right on yeah and I'll take it I'll take it because it just means he he loves me and he wants me to be on the right track well we'll get into the faith stuff too I can't wait to dive in on that but um but back to your fighting career so how did you what happened in your Muay Thai career that got you as the first sanctioned female MMA fighter I was I just I was really good at it I picked it up um and we all there was a bunch of us you know so it just people showed up to see me fight and the more they showed up to see me fight the bigger the cards got the bigger the venues got and the more if my name was you know at the top of the list I just I worked myself up in those 14 fights to be um somebody people paid to watch and that's um I I went up against the you know very few girls that I'd seen fight before um I remember there's this one girl before I I even had one fight and her name was Christina Martin I I believe and she came in in like braids and I just thought oh my gosh like that is insane like she's in my weight class you know and I was like never I had like maybe one fight maybe I was like oh my gosh like how am I ever going to work my way up to that and she uh worked out a Chuck Liddell's camp and um I was like that's going to be tough whenever I get there well I got there quite quickly we used to we used to master used to try to like FIB on our records so that we could fight people with bigger records so he said we had 10 fights when over here I have two so they do that in Thailand all the time and so um I forget what number of fight she was I showed up to a smoker I know a smoker's where you show up to a gym you don't know who you're going to fight and you just end up fighting whoever's close to your weight class no matter the you know no matter like the record MH and I showed up and I was like oh it's why is she here like she was just headlining at like a one of the tiny casinos you know and I was like okay and you know you just show up and you fought whoever was there and and I ended up fighting her and uh and I ended up you know they called it an exhibition but I ended up beating her in that fight and she didn't expect that um and so then our next fight was to take place at the Stardust which is now imploded in uh Las Vegas the Stardust Hotel we used to fight there that was a Big Show and I'd say that one was a a draw that was my one draw um of course it was with with that if you're not overwhelmingly beating someone you always feel like you're losing you know but when I watch the tape back I feel like okay yeah that's a decent draw um but she hit real hard she kicked real hard and so then I trained for her a third time and I train trained my ass off and I knocked her out clean on our third fight I knocked her out like almost like the wind it's like punching wind right down through like the jaw area and she went down and that was my Trilogy fight damn yeah even from looking up to her to fighting her three times and um yeah that was a special one what did that feel like for you to KO or well it was it was it was just the whole fighting looking across the cage at someone and knowing that every at that moment it doesn't matter who's in the crowd really doesn't even matter like it's it's who you are at that moment you're bringing that you're bringing everything you trained for everything you ate your mentality your spirituality um how much you're you believe in yourself if you've let your you know boyfriend in the time get into your head or if you've got you know uh you just bring all of that of who you are in that moment to that moment and you're looking at across at this person knowing that this person is bringing that too and they're going to try to hurt you as badly as possible to make you quit so that's a very special weird intense moment between two people that everything else goes away and it's addictive I'd say I mean you I'm not a big MMA person I don't I don't follow it but it it seems to me you were very much a Pioneer for women in within the sport obviously you were the first sanction fighter and you still have a ton of respect to this day um in fact I even I saw something that said Ronda Rousey would you would be the only person that she would come out of retirement to fight I I know if that's a compliment or it's it's a huge compliment yeah it's a huge compliment I was the first sanction bout in Nevada then um I was the first people that the showtime Elite EXC sign first female that they signed and it gave me a whole $10,000 and I was like oh my gosh now I can really train not have to worry about you know I was bartending at the same time um and then I was the first one on CBS um they did a documentary between me and a different fighter named Ela Elena Maxwell so I was I was right out in the beginning of making it popular so that people like Ronda Rousey and she gives me credit for this which is a beautiful thing I've never had any problems with her um she said that you know uh had she not seen me fight she would have not known it was possible for women to do this and um so I might have not gotten to that UFC walk out but I definitely through my career felt like um I was blessed enough to be the person to break down those doors and um that's just I used to say they used to call me the face of MMA and I just was like I'm too I'm too young in my career for all of this you know like you know I have the the Muay Thai fights but like I'm I'm work I'm I'm just like everybody else why you you're pushing me up so fast you know and before you know it on your eighth fight you're fighting Cyborg and you're not ready to fight cyborg but there's nobody else to fight and they built this thing up and you're like well I'm not going to not fight her cuz my whole entire career was fighting the people that was put in front of me so um I was determined man no fear all fear all fear but also uh you overcame it yeah because doesn't it feel bad when you let that fear rule you that's uh that's where you lose your that's where it starts taking chunks out of your soul have you ever been that person um you know there's things I could have done better in my life as far as like I feel like I grew up a little bit immature just because I was fighting and acting I feel like I was a little bit Reckless you know like I can definitely put back some whiskey you know I can definitely um act like a a big old child well I haven't now for years but you know there was that one wedding that I stole the golf cart so there was that you know felt about bad about that one I'm sure I gave my family plenty of um you know they see the the real me I'm sure they were worried worried to their necks for me because I was just had this big career flying around the world meeting people but I always always always um you know I was always able never to sell myself out for a job or you know any of that it was more of a maybe you were a helion but it doesn't sound like you were overcome by fear no maybe not so how did you how did the oh the cyborg fight I was afraid cyborg fight I had an adrenaline dump um a massive one to where I couldn't feel my legs I don't know if you really you ever had like that adrenaline where you lose all like you lose some feeling of like how to work your arms like all a sudden your arms aren't working I believe they just call that freezing in the moment yeah oh I've had twice when that happen one with my legs and one with my arms the first one with my my arms and I was doing a K1 fight and fight fans when about that but like they used to production that was kind of like a kickboxing more than Muay Thai it was K1 and um I wasn't supposed to win this fight um but they Master Chan is in the back he's like baby baby okay like one two one two and I was like I was like sir man my my arms aren't working sir my arms are and he's like okay baby all right you know and he Pats you on the back and he's like out you go and I'm like walking out which is just a weird feeling of I can't move my arms are they gonna start working and then I go in between the you know the the ropes go up and we do the face off and I'm like they're still not working and then uh and then I go back to the corner and I'm just like how am I going to fix this problem like my my like my brain isn't attaching to my arms and then um I went out there and I beat had a hell of a fight I won wow U they worked but in my cyborg fight I lost the the lower part of my body some my legs I they could walk but they weren't walking I couldn't I was floating I was having like an outer body experience looking down on myself and like not feeling like I could uh control what was happening and I felt uh no pain I just felt like I couldn't control what I was doing I was confused and um so it it frustrates me those those feelings it's like it feels like being on top of a building um like those nightmares that I I have nightmares where it's like I'm on top of the building I'm holding on but I can't tell my hands to hold and they'll just let go because I can't make my hands hold and that freaks me out and so do you have those dreams at all no you can hold on I have dreams where I used to have a lot of Dreams where I'd be back in combat and which is a good dream for me I love those dreams really the shitty part is oh it will like and I don't know what this means I've like Googled it and but whatever but I have these dreams where I'm in the middle of it I'm in the middle of combat the good old days being at war with my team and I'll have like some stupid mistake happened like I will have not loaded rounds in my magazines and then I'm having to run around and ask all my teammates for magazines with bullets on them so that I can get in the fight or I forgot my gun or insert whatever yeah small mistake major mistake major mistake but yeah yeah and it's it's it's the feeling of humiliation power and completely I mean just a huge just you're just a huge let down you're you're dead weight you know at that point and uh those are night Bears to me isn't that fascinating and I wonder what that says I'm my nightmares are fear of not being able to hold on and make myself do what I need to do and yours is not being somebody's burden yeah being somebody's burden not being competent things like that you know really they get in my head yeah sometimes not much anymore but they sneak up on us every once in a while yeah but well how did how did the how did your MMA career end well it was a kind of a funny thing cuz I'm sitting there biggest fight of my career legs go out adrenaline they call the fight I think like 5 seconds before if I could have I feel like if I could have gotten into that that second round I would have started getting my my Gro my my my my motion my groove my legs would have hit like you know maybe started pumping a little bit you know but they called it um 5 seconds before the bell and um you know I think if I could have gotten that second round I would have given her hell because it was such an embarrassing first round and I was like sometimes the best thing you can do is jump over the the ropes and fall into the cage and you feel so embarrassed you're like oh well what I got to lose now let's go swing you know so I feel like I hated how that first round went but I didn't get into that second round and um I went back into the locker room went sat cried and cried with my gloves still on until I was ready to come out and just complete humiliation and let down of your team and the whole crowd was CH chanting for me you know and it was just like this a sad moment you know when you see one of your favorite Fighters just not not be able to show up you know which you see that a lot in fighting and I understand it you know sometimes uh there's certain things going on in people's lives or something's going on they just they can't show up they're not ready for that um so I got in the car and went to San Diego and I was just sitting there feeling sorry for myself and confused cuz I knew I couldn't go back and fight her immediately like uh I wasn't ready for that I needed to build up my confidence again so I was like but I just was just just sad and then I got this phone call from this guy that I'd met and said oh yeah yeah you can be in our you know we'll represent you in Hollywood or whatever you know but didn't really take me seriously and then I got this phone call from Brett Norms who did take me seriously then cuz he said uh St Soderberg a famous uh not just famous but an incredible director um would like I mean this this this person out of all directors is who the big 1centers want to work with Wow and he was watching my fight that night and his wife had looked over at him and said you know he had gotten fired off of Moneyball actually because they didn't give him creative control so he had some you know he had like a year to kind of like do his own thing she said cuz he's the type of guy he can call any product any you know any entertainment business anybody he can call anybody and then he was like I want to do this movie and they like yeah so he pitched it for two different Studios and they got a hold of me and he'd like they said they Stephen Soderberg wants to come out where are you he's in La I was like I'm in s San Diego and they were like he wants to come out out um he's going to take the train would you go to lunch with him then of course my mom's like honey okay you know about you know these directors you know about these Hollywood directors you hear it you hear the stories all the time I'm like ma but you know me and she's like all right okay we'll take my car and call me if you need anything and I'm like we're going right down here to cornado at a beautiful like place I had a black eye cuz I took an elbow to the uh I forget to went side but I took an elbow to the forehead so all the blood was draining down so that's just most ridiculous and I don't know like he sat down and I was like this is wonderful to meet you do you mind if I have some wine and he was like oh by all means and so he sat there for four four hours and he got to know me he talked to me and um he said I'd really like to do a movie with you um and I'll just be really honest with you it'll happen really quick or it won't happen at all um um so you know and I was like sounds good to me not having any idea what that meant you know and that was my intro into acting in Hollywood and the is called Haywire so I had Michael Douglas Channing Tatum I had uh Michael fastfender who's the first person who sat me down and said cuz they gave me an acting coach the last like week of this whole training session of like you know learning how to to shoot guns and learning all this stuff they G me an acting coach to like the last week and like I'm like what how do you put these things like words aren't my thing you know and so I remember sitting down with Michael fer the first you know actor that I was working with in Ireland and I was like I don't know what I'm doing and he's like right okay and he put a whiskey in front of me and he's like we're just going to run these back and forth run these back and forth and he just you know like go fast go slow go fast go slow and like he just kind of like um worked with me and all of you McGregor um Antonio maderis all these massive stars are in this and they're all working with me um and working me through not having ever been on um movie set in that capacity capacity let alone being the lead and so it was just a really beautiful a really very ironic introduction so they all took you under their wing all of them every single one of them they just said I'll take care of you in in the scenes and then I said well good well I'll take care of you in the fight scenes we just give a little trade but they they were that that classy of a group that um yeah I remember people saying it'll never be like this again and it really wasn't um until I'd say John favro and the Mandalorian man wasn't I mean incredible that sounds like a great experience yeah it was amazing and it was also painful I had had a miscarriage right before so um uh between the movie like there was a couple months of the movie getting set up and I was doing the stunts for the movie and had to run to the bathroom and throw up and uh um long story short ended up having a miscarriage and uh never been through that before and so I dove into Haywire so hard cuz I was in so much pain um and didn't want to face what was happening with someone who um was my boyfriend but we had no longer been together so um I escaped after we film filmed Haywire to Thailand to train just cuz that was my place where I'd go get myself collect did and I remember looking in the mirror and not recognizing my eyes you know my eyes were dark and sad and uh I knew I needed to you know get on my knees and really kind of figure out how to find the light again and it did take years for that to heal but um but yeah so that was my strange introductory so you you had a miscarriage while I was prepping for haywi for your first movie cranked it out yeah and then and then had to deal with the effects afterwards so you compartmentalized it yeah yeah and I think a big I was supposed to come back and have a fight a comeback fight and I just was too emotionally shot um you know like hurting myself and that just just felt so awful and felt so guilty and Confused of could I have like you know done something different and I was you know just so confused and uh uh and so disappointed that I wasn't able to come back because my mental state was just so broken and um so I was like two weeks out from a fight and my I went home to visit my mom and she said Gina well I got kicked straight in the head by a woman that I've actually fought before and beat but we were I was out there like sparring got kicked right in the head and like completely got vertigo and uh concussed and then I went home and my mom was just like Gina you you're not looking yourself so she took me to doctor and they said you got a concussion in Vertigo and um you know we don't suggest you go on with this fight and so it was my comeback fight too so so then you got another failure there right you feeling man I failed on that one and I spiraled into like this horrible depression and uh and then you just keep going they just kind of pick it up and just keep going how did you come to peace with the with your miscarriage um realizing that you know it was a confusing time because I couldn't tell if the doctor was telling me what I wanted to hear like or needed to hear cuz the doctor knew my situation so I was confused if he was telling me the truth or not and I was supposedly 3 months long and there was no heartbeat and on top of that there was about three softball siiz cysts and I didn't realize this but when you looked on my tummy it was like sideways because I was so active and working and I didn't understand and he says we have to go in there and also I'm sorry to tell you but there's no heartbeat we have to suction this out and I um struggled with that because I felt is that abortion is that is that you know and I it tore me to Pieces uh and I actually woke up on the operating table while right when it happened like I felt like that motherly like thing Instinct woke up and it was like they were all laughing and like hanging out like normal surgery but for me they had to have I was so just heartbroken and didn't understand if that was an abortion or was it a miscarriage and at what could I have just you know waited or you know and uh the doctor told me no this is this is not an abortion this is you know there's no heartbeat and we have to take those SS out and that was what was given to me but it took me a long time to kind of just give that to God and realize like I I still don't really there was doubts in my head about it all and and so it hurt me and it hurt the person um it was just devastating so I just kind of self-destructed from that for about two and a half years man um which is why I feel like when it comes to the abortion thing I feel like people need to be educated you know on more so on miscarriages and more so on um sex before marriage and you know uh relationships and you know you give a piece of yourself away every time you have sex with someone you know you give Parts away and there's that's to me I I understand it now and of course in my older age how my mom was really trying to tell me save that for that one person it's special and it truly is you know and so there's there's those kinds of things I wish I would have done better you know I was always that have a relationship time type of person I was never not like that but that almost kind of makes it worse because there's more Hearts broken man two and A2 years what did you did you go through therapy did you I went and I um I did the acupuncher which just kind of made me feel even worse cuz I was like this is what it's come to I just like laying there with all these needles on me and tears just streaming down the sides of my face and I was just like this is what it's come to um but yeah I ended up cutting myself pretty severely because I I realized that um you're hurting yourself you're drinking you're killing yourself right now cuz you feel the way you do and so um well this will be I never told anybody that but that's what that is there's a there's these oh [ __ ] Jina yeah so I I was always like where did these Scars come from and it was from Pain it was just the realization of [Music] saying you're you're hurting yourself you might as well just do it and so um strangely enough that was the better feeling but the worst feeling was my little sister grabbing my arm and looking at me and I was like all right can't can't do that so if it's okay I'd like to try to understand that so you started to cut yourself because you were already destroying yourself and so well when you realize you're doing these things to hurt yourself already then why don't you just hurt yourself that was the mentality like I'm already hurting myself might as well feel it and it actually was a lot more honest than drinking or it was a lot more honest than you know anything else you were doing that actually felt a lot better than anything it actually unfortunately felt great really because it released the pain that was being felt inside and um I hope I don't want that to be an encouragement for people to go out there and cut themselves um because it's an awful thing um but it was the most honest thing that I could do at that time that you know feeling such a failure and feeling that I uh you know I needed a release did you contemplated suicide no no I got a little too close over here but it wasn't on purpose how long did that go on um that was a short stent it was about a month maybe a month and a half but it was my little sister's look to me that broke me when I said well as good as that feels her look who I've always tried to protect was not something I was going to um ever want to see on her face again where would you do it I would just with like a razor and on my arm right there usually at an emotional time where I couldn't like couldn't feel any more pain so that's when it would happen it's kind of unfortunate because I did it in this not funny but I did it in like little spaces and I was like well shoot that looks a little too obvious so I try to fill in the spaces damn that's not funny but it's kind of funny in a dark way how did your sister I mean how did she see it she knew she knew the whole time she knew the spaces in between that to obviously that was an O it was a it was too obvious and um so did you want somebody to see it um I didn't care I didn't care about that I was in a low low manic low place where it was just just disappointment depression I've let everybody down I can't figure out how to you know pull pull myself up so well I mean sorry to drop all these no man it's look I think this are good discussions because so many people are dealing with stuff like this right now whether you're going through a miscarriage or I mean it's no secret you know what social media has done to to to everybody yeah you know and I mean you see kids suicide is up mhm I mean so I'm going to ask you again you know I don't mind I don't mind sharing it and I don't mind wearing my heart on my sleeve with it because I do see you know the mental health in children and I see the suicides and I see the drug addiction I've personally lost I don't know how many people in the last now it's Way up 2 years so I just want people to know that if you can hold on past this just hold on past that okay you had that moment um you had that failure you had that fight publicly where you got smashed on TV and Cyborg kicked your ass you got publicly fired by Disney you got shamed and ruthlessly dragged through the mud um and uh you hurt yourself in most ways but I right now am seeing such beauty in life and looking back through my life and understanding and seeing that like if people can just hold on past that there is life there's life on the other side of failure and embarrassment and there's life on the other side of like other people's expectations of you you know there's there's a beautiful life in the sunset every single day and there's a beautiful life in the sunrise um there's a beautiful life in in in going to work and being a plumber and and being an electrician and and being able to be a construction worker and build and there's pride and respect in that um you don't have to be on Instagram you don't have to be where everybody can see you you can have such pride and respect in building something something you know um you don't need the world to tell you uh you don't need to keep searching out in the world to tell you if you're important or not because you are important no matter what role you play or what job you have it's important that people know that this has been like some sort of you know in society we think oh you you oh you must be important because you do that no it's not we're all important I respect conr construction workers plumbers and electricians more than I respect most you know actors right now I respect them way more actually at the moment than I respect anybody most people in Hollywood yeah they're out there building and working their asses off and it's their time to shine too so good good on them um and they go to work and they don't get any praise for it and they work with difficult people and then they get they go home they take pride and respect in their job I mean that's respectful and you know so so Montana's teaching me a lot good I'm happen to hear that so when your sister saw the the scars M was that the was that the turning point for you that was the I can't do that anymore for that was that when I my my little sister is uh I was her Rock when we were younger so I feel like I protected her a lot when we were younger and I feel like in our older life she's protected me more in my adulthood she's kept me safe so is my mom so um yeah she keeps me grounded she makes me realize that she's healthy she turned out good and that looking at her face I'm not going to disappoint her I'm going to be the the older sister that I the best older sister and friend that I can be you know earlier you would uh ask me you know if what order I think you're in in the birth order I mean it's I said the oldest I mean you just gave all the attributes as the old us probably because it seems to me you were kind of almost forced into that position yeah are you the middle I'm the oldest are you the oldest mhm I don't I don't envy oldest children I feel like they take on a certain level of pressure and I find with oldest children they either crumble or they Thrive but they take on pressure that's so unneeded um cuz you know I feel like that's it's just a hard place to be put is being the oldest child it's a hard place to start I and we keep that in mind I think you know with our my nieces and everybody being the oldest child is very difficult I mean and actually through history right you know like older old older children are persecuted they were killed they were um there's something very interesting in the Bible about you know the constant you know persecution of old older children um and yeah so I I feel sorry for my older sister and that she had to endure what she's done but she's she's a free spirit and she's she's got so so so many of us are praying for her and she figures it out she's figuring it out just like we all are so so your sister sees the scars that's that's that's your trigger to get back that it's don't do this anymore or you started turning things around not turning things around I would say that took some time but cuz I felt such I was so upset um but my sister's look on my face was like yeah I can't do that anymore well was there something that brought you peace specifically or time time time yeah it was time and then you get distracted you get another job and you keep going and you realize okay you know and how am I going to explain you know then you're getting photographed and like what what happened to our arm and nobody ever knew until now that's what was going on man man but you know I'm doing pretty okay now I'm doing pretty good actually I'm I'm good good good well what was the next job oh gosh I don't know that was after I felt such disappointed it and not being able to come back and fight because I couldn't mentally and the the vertigo and just the failure of not being able to come back um uh it must have been just some of these smaller indie jobs that I did um that you learn a whole lot about the industry on what kind of stuff did you learn about the industry well you just learn that you know producers will hire their girlfriends at the time um there's been so many times where I would take these women aside and say you don't have to do this how could you go to sleep with that man how look at him look at you you're actually talented actress like you do not have to go to this man's bed for a job and uh they'd cry and they say yeah I do and I had multiple conversations with multiple lost souls like that to try to get them to walk off and they understood I was coming from a a good place cuz I was I didn't need their job I was already higher up on the the list you know I you know never did that and I just wanted them to know look I'm an action actress I would love to have your acting ability you know like GO train go do weapons go get a skill you know don't make your skill sleeping with producers man I mean did they are these people that I'm not going to ask names but are these people we would all know well most of them now have been uh caught I think through the mewo movement a lot of them uh I was in some of those rooms where I was like why am I in this man's house and it was really just funny to me and then I'd walk past the picture and he's like say somebody famous you know that everybody everybody knows and oh I took this picture and she's completely naked and I'm like why is she naked and I was so naive I'm like what and then I was more like bro him out you know like let's talk about fting I'm not putting that energy out there yeah and um there was only one time I thought I'd have to put my elbow down the center of a actor's face but I didn't have to can you describe that moment it's kind of embarrassing for [Music] him well that's not our problem he was an actor that I had just gone off of a pretty high profile breakup and he I don't know how this happened but you know I was just really heartbroken from this breakup it was all over the new the the Hollywood news and um the actor that I was dating had already like started dating someone else and I was trying to promote a movie well I'm very vulnerable at this stage and we're drinking and smoking weed and we're at this house party and then all of a sudden I look up and me and the actor are the only ones left in the house house in his guest house and I thought it was his main house and I didn't even know this man was married and and to to be honest he's I don't even know if he's married but he's definitely gay CU I saw him on set with this other actor and I was like oh I'm in safe hands then so I don't have to worry about being alone in this house with this gay guy who that the Hollywood doesn't know is gay but like I was fine and then um and then he started coming on to me and I was like stop and I was hot I was drunk and I was vulnerable and confused and finally I just looked at him just being very honest I put my hands on my chest and I backed him up and I said I thought you were [Laughter] gay just being completely honest I thought you were gay and he he huffed and puffed and like walked around his kitchen was like pretending to be upset and I was like no I was on set remember I was unet with you and so I saw you you are or at least at least you're by now that now I guess you're by you know and he was like all right then you know and then um I was like I am in a bad situation and I was like I'm I'm okay you know but like I'm I'm just going to go to bed um you know before all has happened I was like okay I can stay in the guest bedroom so I went to the guest bedroom and then my door opens up I'm like oh oh hell here we go and so then I'm just like under the covers and I'm just all right I'm okay I'm so browing up you know things are getting like real and um I was like you need to leave and he said well now all my boys cuz he had like bodyguards now all my boys are going to think I'm gay and I'm like I'm sure they probably already know that you are so like you know so he kind of uh he did something that was really like embarrassing for him and then um I was like okay I'm going to put my my elbow down his uh forehead and I will go there and right when that was about to happen he's like all right and he like got up and he left and then I got up in the morning I was like how do I escape this compound holy [ __ ] like how do I get out of here this is the most miserable night and I am like hung over and that was so awkward and then like he felt absolutely probably horrified cuz you know and he made me sit there and talk to him for two hours in the kitchen and he was horrified and finally got my manager to come pick me ex-manager to come pick me up and I was like you'll never believe what just happened but um that was a that was probably the most uncomfortable I've ever been um and how many people get sucked into this [ __ ] in Hollywood is it everyone I mean so you're talking to a person who who knows how to defend herself is feeling very confident how to handle a situation um and all a sudden the party just was gone and I was left there with a person you know like just like that the bodyguards scattered everybody and you're you know so my heart does do it goes out to uh women you know you know that that that wouldn't be like me a woman off a breakup you know 100 lb 115 lbs you know thinking that this person's gay you know realizing that he's not understand she's now in a dangerous situation you know there is these certain you know I'm fortunate because I'll go so hard I've been in enough fights of my life to do that you know to deal with you know um an actor but I feel really awful that that happens to a lot of um women but I also feel awful that a lot of women feel that they need to sacrifice themselves in order to you know get that job so I just don't work well I don't work with those people anymore you know like I that was the last time I I got offered hey so and so pretty big name wants you to you know be on this and I'm like absolutely not like no I'm not going to work with people that make other people feel this I'm not going to work with people that make uh in order to be a producer they have to have girlfriends that sacrifice their bodies in order to be on say I just won't work with people like that so just lone rangering it man I mean would you say that is the is that the majority of Hollywood um I'd say there's men there's men I was working with a guy that wants to be a director and um men are kind of gosh kind of funny about it though they're like all right you know he was like I was like all right well I like our what you know this is like year like decades ago you de over a decade ago and he really wanted to get his you know project I've moving and um he he was like in his you know late 30s maybe and he wanted this casting director female to uh to do the casting because she had all the connections and so he went he went and he slept with this woman for like a year trying to get this is movie off the ground and I was like bro what are you doing like how on top of what like what you know like this is insanity but you know there must have been perks for him because he gets to say somewhere free um and at the same time she just kept on leading him on and kept on leading him on there's many stories of men doing this you know like taking taking uh the producer the female to producer the female casting directors and they're like you know many stories of that men men are a little bit more funny about it though because they're just like gotta do what you got to do I'm taking one for the team I'm like oh my gosh like I don't even know how that's possible drugs like Viagra something damn damn well let's um sorry I don't know hope everybody doesn't mind these conversations Wow Let's Take a uh let's take a quick break and then we'll start diving into Disney okay join me and my special guests for the next behindth scenes experience exclusively available on vigilance Elite patreon the behind thes scenes footage is raw and uncut this is as close to the set as you can possibly get you can expect anything from off topic conversation Studio tours the final moments before the interview starts and everything in between the behind thes scenes content is constantly evolving and will continue to bring you more as we grow you can gain access for just $15 a month exclusively at vigilance Elite patreon I know everybody out there has to be just as frustrated as I am when it comes to the BS and the rhetoric that the mainstream media continuously tries to force feed us and I also know how frustrating it can be to try to find some type of a reliable news source it's getting really hard to find the truth and what's going on in the country and in the world world and so one thing we've done here at sha Ryan Show is we are developing our newsletter and the first contributor to the newsletter that we have is a woman former CIA targeter some of you may know her as Sarah Adams call sign super bad she's made two different appearances here on the Shawn Ryan Show and some of the stuff that she has uncovered and broke on this show is just absolutely mind blowing and so I've asked her if she would contribute to the newsletter and give us a weekly intelligence brief so it's going to be all things terrorists how terrorists are coming up through the southern border how they're entering the country how they're traveling what these different terrorist organizations throughout the world are up to and here's the best part the newsletter is actually free we're not going to spam you it's about one newsletter a week maybe two if we release two shows the only other thing that's going to be in there besides the Intel brief is if we have a new product or something like that but like I said it's a free CIA intelligence brief sign up links in the description or in the comments we'll see you in the newsletter all right Gina we're back from the break and we're getting ready to dive into Disney but before we do that we just had uh a conversation off camera about friends that we had lost um my best friend Gabe and I told you that story and so you know like I kind of mentioned at the beginning you know a lot of people in the world are going through something and especially on this channel it's it's the audience is very very veteran heavy and uh especially global war on terrorism vets and just about everybody has experienced loss and so you had mentioned earlier in the show that you know you'd lost a lot of friends to addiction I've lost more friends than I can count to addiction and suicide I mean everybody knows about the you know the epidemic that's going on in the veteran community and First Responders and and seems to be just spreading into everything so what I want to ask you is how do you deal with loss um how I have dealt with loss I think throughout my life has been different and um you know I think when you're younger you deal with it all wrong you find every wrong way possible um to hurt yourself I think there's there's different ways people deal with it they deal with it by hurting others or they deal with it by hurting themselves and so I feel like the sensitive Souls out there who don't want to hurt others um end up hurting themselves and so they hurt themselves through addiction they hurt themselves through cutting themselves they hurt themselves through um just total and utter self-destruction and through that you know they're trying not to hurt other people um but through that through the loved ones that care about them they end up just you know destroying everybody else around them because nobody can stop self-destruction except for the per the self um or divine intervention so um I I you know I think having a healthy Outlet such as like mixed martial arts I encourage that to everyone because that's what helped me or finding um you know like that certain physical activity and that routine every single day that you stick to that is your check list for instance you know I almost want to write a book that you know it's it's hard for people some people just to get out of bed for weeks at a time they can't get out of bed and I've been there um not being able to get myself out of bed and then it starts with getting yourself like when I lost my best friend in 2021 I think it was or 2022 um I couldn't get out of bed I just sunk into this manic depression and it took me about 3 weeks till I was able to answer a phone call or um you know like I just started to try to do those little regular things where you take the shower you shave your legs you you take a walk you you know try to like get your body moving cuz once you get your body moving and you start looking at the world and you start to do regular things like grocery shop again um and then you hit a place where you can't get out of bed again you know so it's like you just just handle it differently um people like you with you know a wife and kid have to maybe put on a different face than I've had to put on which is hard cuz I get I've gotten to hide my uh depression or my low points but when you have a family and I and when you're the head of your household that's just got to be so brutal to try to put on that brave face for your children and for your wife and keep going but also it could be maybe a nice distraction as well um because being in your head for an alone in depression I think is where we find a lot of kids at a lot of people at they're able to disappear and it might be the worst thing that they can do to themselves because they'll just sink further and further into their manic yep um depression so um I had somebody call me recently and say you know they R in a bad place and I said all right well just pick out the things that you're doing to hurt yourself you know drugs alcohol women you know um sex like what is the thing that is you're using to hurt yourself and he told me and I said do me a favor and let that go give your a Time yourself a time frame to heal so that because the world's going to need you and they need you to be healthy we need more men and more women to be healthier than ever and you're powerful and you're beautiful and I need and I need you to be healthy so he said okay okay and he stopped drinking for and doing whatever he was doing for about 8 weeks and I saw him not too long ago and and he was happy and he was clean and he was not hurting himself and excited about the future so that would be the one thing is drop what's what you're using to hurt yourself and then focus on uh control the controllables right I can control getting up and take a shower I can control what I'm going to put in my body today I can control going for a walk I can control calling my mom cuz I know that's a responsible thing to do I need to do I can um control the controllables and let all the other chaos go and you're not you know I remember looking in the mountains in Montana and thinking I got to get myself together I I'm not going to change the world by being an absolute wreck so I'm thinking like I think it's I've been through a lot in the last couple years and I just remember thinking and looking in the mountains and I'm like I need to watch sunsets I need to I need to live and I need to stop obsessing about things that I cannot control and um and also my utmost thing is Jesus Christ my utmost thing is turning to God if I don't wake up and I don't read that my Bible in the morning morning my whole day is wreck I'm hitting my head on cabinets I'm almost like getting car crashes like I'm literally just an absolute mess and that's the one thing that like I know I if I don't start off my day like that um then I'm you know I feel like the whole day is not set off right so that's personally what I do have you ever thought about how that person that your morning would want you to live in those moments in the moments of grief he would he would be so upset with me if he saw me crying he passed two days ago was his um I guess his death anniversary and he would just he he didn't want anybody to cry for him ever because he went through a lot too in his life and um don't cry for me don't don't you don't you start you know but a really beautiful thing happened uh the last anniversary as of Eva's death I had a beautiful moment where I had this incredible dream where we got to hang out and I got to see him and um we were hanging out in my dream and it was just like wonderful so you know um I think I think he's happy now because I believe he's in heaven I believe he loved Jesus and I love I believe he was just he had servant tattooed across his back because he said that's the best thing he could possibly be in life as a servant um he's incredibly special so um he's in a good place and after he died I just looked up I was in Arizona I just looked up I could just hear him free of his body and just could hear his big heavy laughter all over the sky and I just felt like he's well he's free now you know we're the ones that are trapped here yeah yeah so he would want me to I think I'm I just think he'd be laughing at how much how much trouble I'm causing down here he wouldn't be surprised but he'd be laughing with me what do you make of that dream I think it's God's blessing it's a little I got I I have had dreams since I was young that are extremely Vivid and very um I remember I did a essay in uh College about a dream of mine and she wrote on the essay she's like I hope you're not not some sort of you know I don't know U psychic or profit or something like that she wrote that on my paper and I got an A+ I was like no I'm just I think um I think sometimes God just gives you little glimpses into things that you know help sometimes or Enlighten you or you know sometimes dreams are just dreams that's all they are they're just dreams and you know sometimes I think Satan can use dreams as NE negatively as he can as you know he can too as well so you have to not probably too much put too much weight in it and just let them be um what they are and enjoy the good ones cu the bad ones are there yeah yeah I think um they're always with us yeah I just had a crazy experience and it kind of goes back to do you want to hear this yes please so that hockey jersey down there that you just saw yeah that's that's my best friend's hockey jersey and uh it's the first thing for everybody listen it's the first thing you see when you walk in the studio and I told you that Jersey so Gabe died of a heroin overdose and they found him so he was trying to get this this hockey team a Wounded Warriors Hockey team sponsored by the NHL which would have been the first the first Wounded Warrior hockey team sponsored by an NHL team and he he was telling me this while he was addicted was struggling with his addiction which anybody that has seen somebody struggling especially from an be an addiction it's it's a rough sight yeah and he was telling me how he was just walking into the Panthers uh Arena and just going to make this happen I'm like okay Gabe uh I don't think that's going to happen but wish you the best of luck well I'll be damned he [ __ ] got it he got it and the panther signed off on it and they went to his house to tell him that they'd signed off on it and he had died in that in his in his condo that's how he was found was getting the news that they were Panthers were going to sponsor his team well I got one of the first jerseys uh that they ever made and had it framed and you saw it it's a huge frame it's heavy probably weighs 50 lbs and we had just done this thing in Vienna which um with the the commander massud uh the leader of the national resist or the uh the Afghan resistance and that got me super paranoid about our government and oh I bet and we're I mean this team has got this in front of Congress and it's looking like we're going to probably shut down not just us but all the people that have been involved with this uh lead up it looks like we're going to shut down over a billion of funding a year to the [ __ ] Taliban the the government is uh aiding the Taliban now and so we brought attention to that anyways oh my gosh that's huge and that's we get that's coming out right now it's actually it's right now oh and uh as we're having this it's premiering on on our Channel congratulations thank you and it already Tim bur thank you um I mean somebody's got to do it Tim buret brought it to Congress and brought it brought up the fact that hey we're sending $87 million a week to the [ __ ] Taliban and it he wrote A bill up it passed the house now it's going to the Senate so we're making waves and we're pissing a lot of people off and we're shutting funding down to one of the biggest terrorist organizations in the world wow so that brings a certain amount of fear and when you say fear are you talking about fear from what you just saw the other night with Trump that I mean I don't think it's any secret how corrupt our government is and I mean all the Boeing whistleblowers have been assassinated I mean they tried to assassinate Kavanagh the Epstein judge they tried to assassinate I mean it's not like I'm [ __ ] just a crazy cuckoo paranoid veteran you know it's it's the fact that nobody's talking about it so nobody's talking about the assassinations that are actually taking place that we always notice them that they happen in Russia and they happen all these other places and we always like to point the finger and like wow that's so crazy that's happening here and it's h it's happening there it's happening here mhm all the time and that the other day with Trump's almost ass ination what just I think ripped the the Band-Aid off and let everybody know um the desperation of where we're at is that oh no they will try to kill him yeah and they will try to if they kill him they could try to kill you and they could try to kill anyone that opposes them it just keeps up I mean wasn't it Obama's Chef mysteriously drowned fell off his paddle mysteriously drowned in a in a pond and that's happened to I don't want to say any names a lot of chefs yeah there's a lot of chefs that have mysteriously drowned and and in well-to-do politicians MH yeah anyways so we get home from this trip and I'm really paranoid I'm I'm like [ __ ] like am I overstepping here I don't care this is what the country needs so I get home on a Thursday I come in to the studio on Friday which is June 28th and the anniversary of Red Wings which I told you offline Gabe was a big part of that M come in and that big picture frame is on the floor and that frame has been there for three hanging there for three years and I'm like asking some of the people that work here which almost all of them were with me in Vienna except my assistant and I'm I'm I'm like what Happ did you see this thing did you take this off the wall cuz it wasn't broken there's no glass broken the frames in perect I mean you saw it it's in perfect condition there was a bug Light under it it knocked the bug light off and I'm like [ __ ] like is Gabe trying trying to warn me something you know is he trying to tell me something and um I was the last one out of the out of the studio last one out of the building and I'm just kind of pacing in the parking lot by my car just like talking to Gabe like what are you trying to tell me man what am I what should I be looking out for like you got my attention that frame has been there for 3 years I go home and I'm going to try not to get emotional but uh I'm telling my wife about what happened and she goes Sean the Panthers just won the [ __ ] Stanley Cup and I found the frame on June 28th which is the anniversary of Red Wings which is another huge part of gab's past and like in that moment I was just oh overwhelmed with emotion and uh positive emotion and I just started laughing and I was like I can [ __ ] hear him up there right now going no you dumb [ __ ] I'm not trying to warn you about anything the Panthers just won the [ __ ] Stanley Cup and it's the anniversary of June 28th and and uh oh but you know like there just too many coincidences and I don't really believe in coincidences anymore anyways no I don't believe in luck and I don't believe in coincidences but it's proof to me that is a little dose of proof that there is life after death and that our people are still watching over us MH and I've always felt that um with Gabe and um you know it's just and it's really weird like you were just kind of talk talking about the Bible and we we do a very small Bible study at my house every week actually it's tonight okay every Tuesday yeah we do it and um and a couple weeks ago there was a gentleman in there uh close friend of ours and he he was talking we were talking about life after death and your soul kind of carrying on and what is it what would it be like and he said well maybe it doesn't carry on because what were you doing before you were born and that like even as a kid that's one of the only things that really scared the [ __ ] out of me is what if you die and that's that's just you just lights out and I thought about that like that actually that conversation bothered me cuz I was like [ __ ] I don't I don't know what the hell I don't nobody has any memories of when before they were born so maybe there was nothing but then something like that happens and I think um an older lady told me it's Heaven's wink it's Heaven's wink just to let you know and I think that um one thing that I've learned and grew up with and I think is so many people get so fascinated with the life after death that they go searching for it and they try to contact it and they you know they they want to access it well I do believe in um mediumship yeah is that what you're talking about yeah like or just you know just trying to uh there's there's doors you you open in life in my in my belief system and you have to be careful which doors you open um and so the door I open into what happens life after death I um go through Jesus on that I don't he's to me the one that gave me life and the opportunity to go into heaven and that is who I'll communicate until I get to heaven and figure it out um and he's the only one I'll go to um of course like you know I think I think about Anthony and I think about his bellowing laugh and I think about my papa and I've had really strange experiences spiritually of like um after my grandfather died um I had two months of just uh spiritual warfare that was happening and I I could hear uh voices and I can hear you know um like PE like like walking and it was just like this evil presence was like around me and I I actually started watching you know I was read my Bible and I couldn't I was so sensitive at that time I couldn't watch regular television and so I started watching The Chosen which my mom was like you should watch a chosen I'm like I'm not watching The Chosen okay and then I started watching The Chosen and my heart started calming down the whatever that evil presence was that was just taunting and haunting me through my dreams um where you you know that thing where you sit something sixs on your your chest you can't breathe and you wake up and you're like I can you just you know it was just happening more aggressively than it ever had happened cuz I got rid of that all that spiritual kind of like stuff a long time ago and it came back um and do I think that was like and had anything to do with my grandfather and where his soul is no I don't think it has anything to do with it but I believe in my grieving process I had opened a door somewhere um which I I know where and I um I let in a darkness that taunted me for 2 months and I needed to um I just needed to get back to talking to Jesus and saying okay walk me through how to get this door closed you know can I ask what that door was um it was it was personal it was yeah it was really personal but I felt like like that's I know I feel like I have an idea of what it was yeah so I feel like you do open doors in life and um things happen due to those open doors and if you really want that door to close if you want that torment to stop um in my belief it's through Jesus and it's not going to be through trying to contact the dead or trying to contact Spirits or selling your soul to Satan because you think a lot of people out there there's this belief system that okay if I just already get on this side who you know the Satan's team then I'm not going to be tormented because I'm on your team Satan you know so you're not going to hurt me I'm on your team and those end up being the most tormented people you know they think hey why would you do this to me because he hates you he wants you to just completely destroyers he hates Humanity he hates what God's creation is it's why he he destroys everything that's beautiful and you know it's awful like what we consider Beauty and what really is truly beautiful you know it's awful how we're all trying to stay so young and destroying ourselves when you sit next to your grandmother and you think my gosh how beautiful are you or when somebody's aged beautifully and they allowed themselves to just kind of naturally do it and I'm you know like I'm I'm trying to like learn in my Montana life if I try to like learn cuz I I grew up in Las Vegas and I grew up in you know Los Angeles and all of this was just a culture to me you know like breast implants obviously 22 years old okay let's do those you know you know like this was a culture but Satan loves to take beautiful natural bodies and say no no that's not the way it's supposed to be that's not what you're supposed to be this is what you're supposed to be over here and um it's so awful and so ugly that that is the biggest lie like the that was your faith always as strong that did you grow up no actually it's just getting stronger by the sentence um I got really close to god um when I was going through my cancellation because I knew that internally I couldn't not speak um I didn't have children and I want I didn't want it to get to the place where there would be forced vaccinations and forced all of this all the things that did happen I didn't want to get to the point where people who had families were losing their jobs and you know couldn't afford to um you know keep their kids and so me and Kevin didn't have kids so I thought and Kevin's right on board with me you know like his family's very natural um I don't think antivaxx is necessarily a bad word they you know um they grew up you know very just kind almost like hippies you know and they're all really healthy um and and so he already had that kind of naturally like in his his uh his his family makeup and and it's not to say like I don't mind I love modern medicine I mean I think it does some incredible things like you know my dad has two knee surgeries and can now ski and travel and Ski and enjoy life you know and um you know heart you know like heart transplants that or like heart like things that ways that God has allowed us to really like explore how to help each other so I think modern medicine and modern you know stuff is wonderful but I also think that at the same time what has Satan done he's come and he's taken that and he's made his evil version of um forcing things on people such as vaccines and um making so many drugs okay to take as children put them on ADHD because they don't want to sit at a desk for 8 hours yeah when they should be outside learning about about life or learning how to change a tire or learning how to do taxes and you know it's just I don't know yeah Satan has a a knack for um even with climate change you know it does say in Revelation you know that these things will will transpire like there's going to be you know death destruction there's going to be famine the world's going to shake there's going to be earthquakes it's going to be there's going to be fires so what does Satan go and take that he tell you know he takes that cuz he knows it's coming and he turns it into his own hey men humans let you guys go ahead and play God and pretend like you guys can control this and you play God with climate change um and my belief isn't that we shouldn't pick up after we should you know you know like we should keep our spaces clean and we should clean up and if you know if there's a way to recycle and make something new and not waste 100% mhm but you are not going to play God and that's what Satan's made these globalists believe that they can play God and that they are their own Gods and it's just a horrible ugly thing that they're using um and that they will use until you know the end yeah when you talk about people that are where am I going with this where am I I'm going I want to know about Satanic rituals and and and that out of the fence in Hollywood cuz we hear all about it and you're kind of just speaking on the fact that people will go that road because they think they're going to befriend him or something I mean how relevant is that in your experience in h within Hollywood well I just from watching and being spiritually aware I guess you know um so many of these actors that do so well it's like well I am my own God and that is you know they have everything together you know they have the wife they have the kids they have the they don't they they don't drink alcohol they are in shape and all of this but they believe they are their own God and um do they say that do they articulate yeah lot a lot of people say that they're their own God and it's a scary thing because I I feel like that's almost a harder wall to break down than maybe drugs or alcohol or sex or something that's more obvious is that when you believe that you are your own god um that doesn't like leave room for the real God um and have I been always the spiritual I mean no I found out through the hardships of the entire industry turning against me and being dropped on my head pretty pretty damn hard that um I just read a scripture in Psalms that's where I started every morning I'd write I read a chapter in Psalms and I also read this book called a silver refined and the book was basically saying it's not be easy but you'll get through it and it'll be worth it and um you'll be refined and so who I was in 2019 was a woman who could have gone to live in New York in a condo and not gone and dedicated myself to this relationship and um could have ended up you know experimenting more with whatever I everything I I could have ended up anywhere at 2019 I was you know just kind of floating through life um and very excited about my career and then it took uh 2020 and 2021 for all of these people this dis Disney and Lucas film to um make me really think about oh geez where is my line like that's not what I want to say and that's not what I want to I don't want to hurt anybody feelings but I feel like you're pushing your ideologies on me and you are and you're backing me into Corners that um I had to draw a line and um they kept Crossing it and that's the legal part like you can believe what you believe and I've lived in Vegas and Los Angeles like my ENT my entire life I've had every every single one of these we we you know snuck into strip clubs when we were 17 years old you know like it's not been like that sheltered and um I find I found myself drawing my line and the more I drew my line and held on to God the more I realized okay all right I I do not worship your business and I have this in the email which is why I don't mind if my emails come out I said I do not worship your business um and I have done plenty wrong in my life life that I will need to account for and I will need to apologize for but at this moment I haven't done anything wrong and I am not going to put out one of these fake apologies that you have all everybody else put out that mean nothing that degrade them that take away from their words they're basically using these every celebrity who apologized they took their voice away to where the next time they speak you know it doesn't mean anything CU it's just a copied pasted regular apology and I was not going to do that so I wrote out my own long big statement I like you want me to make a statement I'll make a statement and it it wasn't offensive it was very I understand I grew up with tomboy I understand that things are different and people are going through things and it's a very well-written thing it's just I don't worship your business and my God Is Bigger Than Disney so that this is where I'm at and um so hopefully the hopefully those um emails get to get printed or read one day and help shed some light on what was going on but um can you talk about your experience with Disney and and kind of what happened there yeah it was just if I would have been saying and doing the things that I did then now um I would be fine um it was because I was so I was early and I I kind of could see where all of this going was going I knew from having two grandfathers um have their own business uh start and started from scratch that um we are going to shut those people down uh what is essential and what what is not you know when you're you're you're like Walmart's more essential than this you know Italian restaurant that's just getting off its feet and has to feed their family like what uh or a tiny family-owned grocery store or a convenience store that Walmart's more uh important and so nothing was making sense and I could see where this was going and it was a the largest most fraudulent wealth transfer and you know basic I think history is that they've are destroying through their mandates um the middle class and also the people that will do as they say and be a part of our group or not and you know they're trying to make that divide and um did did so successfully yep so I um I was speaking about you know mandating vaccines before they even mandated it I was speaking about my grandfather went to the hospital and he had uh dementia and they wouldn't let anybody go in with him and he couldn't get a catheter because he had some surgical stuff going on he can't explain that to the nurse and his his records aren't all there and things got so messed up in the hospitals hospitals were being paid for every vaccinated person they got on a ventilator you know like it was just so corrupt and so I just wasn't going to stay quiet people are watching their loved ones die over FaceTime that wasn't okay yeah you know we weren't completely ignoring the vaccine injured and the vaccine deaths and putting up on the news all of the deaths and fear-mongering people into anxiety into I I wonder how many people died of anxiety induced fear you know what I mean um and the mental health and the drugs and the alcohol and taking a a driver who needed that kind of you know some people need that regulated like day this is what I do every day in order to stay sane and you took that away from them and put them at home with screaming kids and wife and all this other stuff and it's like suicides went up and it's like I knew that that was going to happen and I was going to stay quiet about it and then alls I did was beep B Boop a couple people and all a sudden meltdown happened um and it really wasn't a I figured what is the least offensive thing that you could possibly put in your bio on Twitter so they were trying to get you to do the pronouns right right like put put this say trans lives matter you know put your pronouns in your bio blah blah blah and I was like how do they approach you with that well the the mob online was doing it and obviously you know a lot of the Disney and Lucas film people were you know going along with it um and there's a lot of people Lucas film pays too as well to put pressure on um uh so it was just a whole big deal and I got say so it was online pressure it was online it was through websites podcasters it was through people that Lucas film paid it was through employees of theirs it was through Disney it was through um just random Bots you know they have bot Farms um and it was just basically online from that and and and here you have like PR people that have worked for Disney and they know smear campaigns when they see them right they worked you know for them for 30 years and you're not you're like you're going to tell me you can't see a smear campaign you can't see attacks that are act like that's happening to me what and they defend other actors but I just wasn't I wasn't a part of their uh I wasn't going along with their narrative so they never defended me they defended so many other actors and actresses oh yeah you know we defend this person from bullying we and I got it way worse than anyone in in the Star Wars universe and that is saying quite a lot that's saying a lot how were they coming at you just like like by the thousand like death threats and just online just I mean oh my word I've never I don't think most of us have seen it and anything like that I got it so hard and um and you know it was just just a crazy moment in life that I apparently needed to see and understand that that's what happens cuz online it's really interesting and the court session we're waiting for the judge to um she's either going to allow the dismissal of uh that Disney has Disney has requested to dismiss my case so okay this life doesn't matter we messed up this life doesn't matter let's just kind of like push her off to the side and they're trying to pretend like it's not a big deal um when it is their stocks their stocks plummeted from the day that they let me go and they know it's a big deal but they're trying to pretend like it's not um um but so we're waiting for the judge to either allow that dismissal or to allow us to go into Discovery and um and Discovery I'm completely fine with I've already sent all of my my interactions over to my lawyers and they've looked through it you know in depth and so now we get to go into who we get to um if we we get to you know continue on which we are actively moving on so we had to go into Discovery and find out what was going on behind their scenes so just to fill in a couple of blanks here for those that don't know I'm sure most everybody does but there was a a series of tweets that came out M uh from you and without going through all of them I'll just we'll just put them up on on screen but it sound like correct me if I'm wrong but it seemed like the major one was when you you changed you did change your pronouns or add your pronouns as uh b b Bo which to me really offensive so to me in my head I was looking I really study you know like I really like I look at like the I guess I study social behavior and I was like you got all these people who don't even have their pronouns up telling me about pronouns and they have trash Panda and they have all this weird kind of like stuff in their pronouns and so I was like okay so you guys want me to put something in my bio all right yeah I'm going to put something in my bio and they of course were wanting a he her they them him you know of course that's what they wanted and I just put be bot Boop and it wasn't to me that wasn't just I was like I'm just proving to you you can put anything you want on your bio simply put nothing to do with your pronouns nothing to do with the transgender Community nothing just you can put whatever you want and that just had the biggest meltdown and you should have seen it in court the other day I just couldn't believe it he was like your honor your honor she was making fun of the transgender community and put beep bop boop in her bio and I was like um that is the most ridiculous can can you hear yourself sir like beep bop boop you you tried Harvey Weinstein you defended him and you're talking about bot boob right now are you kidding me it's just wild and I'm just sitting there like and I think the um I think the Judge wasn't virtue signaling behind a computer right looks a lot different than virtue signaling behind um you know in front of a judge uhuh and it looks absolutely ridiculous how was the judge she was wonderful actually she was very smart she knew the cases I it actually gave me um I was really proud to see a one a strong female up there really kind of looking down assessing the sit situation knowing what's going on um and and she's a Democrat B Biden appointed a democrat in 2022 but she was looking down and um she had she had control of the room and I liked that cuz there there's no virtue signaling you know it's going to be an honest courtroom it felt like and I and I respected that man that's nice to hear yeah you don't hear very many uh people saying that's an honest courtroom anymore I and I hope it is you know yeah I really feel like um know I brought my Bible with me I had that in my purse and um I just want it to be I don't know about what happens in the future I just want I want this to to change things in a positive way so that I can put a period on this end of my chapter move on with whatever is in my future which I love telling stories and I think that's going to be a big part of it um and I want to I want to move on with my life because of the embarrassment and the shame that I was carrying around for for the last four years was not mine to carry and it wasn't right and nobody else you know if it had been any other actress that went through this or actor I don't think that they would have been able they would have worshiped this business and I don't and they wouldn't they would have probably committed suicide from the amount of pressure and abuse that they went through so damn so hopefully this can write some wrongs which yeah we need yeah we need a lot of a lot of good people no matter if you're Democrat a republican independent no matter if you're um from the United States coming into the United States no matter if you're from wherever you are in the world we need um honest good people to stand up be courageous we need to we need support we need um mercy and we need Justice or else we're just going to allow this uh corruption to take hold and you know this next election I'd say is very important and so um I'm all about not giving up and I think uh more of us are coming together and realizing it's uh it's got to be all of us together you know you got to put some of your differences aside and come together and save this country because when this country is a disaster the rest of the world ends up completely losing their [ __ ] yeah yeah we're saying that right now yeah how did you how did you know you were fired they just they told somebody said on they they leaked it so what they do is they leak it to news outlets so um somebody from Disney lcas film leaked it to um variety and uh said that uh G we are no longer in you know uh Gina is no longer employed with Lucas film and have no intentions to be um nevertheless we um feel like she's been denigrating people off of their cultural and religious beliefs which was absolutely insane because what I was calling for was like any history uh Instagram could put post the posts that I put and it would be accurate and it be true you know it's it was just calling to not demonize neighbors it just so happened that it was referring to the Holocaust like people didn't just wake up Nazis you know you they massaged people's like you know uh um they massage people into kind of like making it okay to demonize your neighbor and so a neighbor you could have been having dinner with say 10 years earlier oh yeah come on over and you know like let's like share dinner now you're watching that same neighbor get hauled off to a concentration camp and all of their Furniture is getting displayed and you know ruined and you know they're running through houses looking for you know Jew Jewish people and so we didn't just jump to that it was a slower progression of um neighbor hating neighbor and the propaganda machine pumping that and what I was saying through my tweet didn't call anybody a Nazi I didn't refer to anybody as Hitler like they the left has been doing for about ever now I just simply said you know it didn't start off here and it wasn't even my words it was just a little clip that I put up on like they used to have a fleet section which is like a story section on Twitter it was just kind of something I put up that I thought everybody could you know relate to and what it got to was all of the Hollywood media took it including dis lugas film said well she's uh comparing Republicans to Jewish people in the Holocaust and she's done you know she's trivializing it and she's um anti-semitic and I'm like how how is how is calling for like she's denying the Holocaust I'm like that's not ex that's not at all how I read that can I read it of course Jews were beaten in the streets not by Nazi soldiers but by their neighbors even by children her poost stated because history is edited most people today don't realize that to get to that point where Nazi soldiers could easily Round Up thousands of Jews the government first made their own neighbors hate them simply for being Jews that's what the post said yeah and also says how is that any different than uh hitting somebody off of their political beliefs and I think that's where they really had a problem with me saying that but were Nazis not politicians uh was that not political and so if you just took that first sentence oh she's a holocaust denier when you say the whole thing together you're saying Nazis got to there's no denying Nazis were Nazis they got to that place through neighbors hating neighbors and basically we should really be cautious of that now and we should be and look what's happened I wasn't wrong I wasn't wrong about warning about the division and um I thought it was something genuinely that we could all say hey let's not repeat history let's learn from it and let's come together you know let's come together and appreciate we have our differences and get our country back in on track because when you when you have a healthy country a healthy working country then you've got less addiction you've got less um broken homes you know like you we need to get back to a healthier country cuz right now it's just how many people have I lost in the last from drug overdosis to all sorts of things and it's um I have nieces I have four darling nieces and I'd at least like to buy them another 25 years or 30 if I can before they have to start defending this like we're having to defend it now you know yeah you're a critical thing ER there aren't very many of those left I think there's there's more there's beginning to be more there's a lot of I think that's why we're at where we're at I think that's well I think they stole critical thinking from people somehow and they they don't want people to be they threaten people comfort and that's why I get so many actors and actresses come up to me and oh I'm with you I'm with you it's like I had one actress sit up on stage with me at one of these fan Expos all of a sudden it become it became kind of cool to be canceled for you know almost kind of cool to be canceled nowadays and she said she's like well I'm just a phone call away from being cancelled and I'm like you would never go through what I went through the last four years you would never in your life you would never go through that and um but I learned about life and I'm still learning about life with a clear lens and I think I would prefer that more than anything than to walk around in ignorance and um be defending things that I didn't know I was defending and not thinking about and just tring to be part of a group just to be a part of a group you know so I I like being in the position I am I don't like what I had to do to get this knowledge but um I love the lens that I'm looking through now and I still have so much to learn so much to learn that I'm excited about so many books and so many things that I'm like I feel like it's like a whole new world to me cuz I'm seeing it like for what it is now and just I'm just like a baby in it too because I mean I look at you and I can only imagine the things that you've seen and um that's fascinating to me because I don't know that at all so it's um it's almost just like it's just like being born again like all right this is what the world has been I'm like a baby learning all over again man and when you got cancelled and fired everybody left you correct the Talon agency who was the Talon agency um it was UTA United Talent um artist um then it was my very Democrat lawyer um who I think at some point was planning on running for some sort of office and would constantly be sending out emails about coming you know come to my house for this fundraiser for this Democrat uh you never see that in Hollywood come to this Republican you know um and then um the only person that stood with me was um Scott karp a my manager at the time but um I we recently in the last uh since last October parted ways but in a very loving caring way that was that I needed I think he needed to move on because he's been through the thick of it with me for so long and I needed a refresh and it was really it really kind of as hard you know but good it it wasn't a it's not a we both care about each other like brother and sister and um I think that'll continue on I just need uh time to rebuild and I've got this new manager who is just he's expecting his first baby and he wasn't even a producer or he wasn't even a manager he was a producer and I said and I was like I've got this lawsuit coming out and all this attention's going to be on me for a hot two weeks right and I was like it's going to be hard and uh he we were like thinking about doing this project together and he's like well you know Gina if you need my help he's this English man named Rob Weston absolute Gem of a man and we're both at these points in our careers where we really want to dive in and and tell some cool stories where we're in charge of it executive producing and so I have a partner now that will sit down in the writer's room and we'll go from 6 we'll go from 9:00 a.m. to 600 and we'll enter this this world that we're creating in the script and like all these people are walking around us and you know Beverly Hills like this place where people go to do this I guess and me him and this incredible writer are just sitting there and we're just developing this cool world that we're going to be able to create and I don't even hesitate I know that it's going to come I know that it's going to happen people understand what happened to me it's not a it's not a secret anymore that I was you know railroaded and um it's it's pretty fascinating I don't even think Disney's lawyers believe themselves well I know they don't they just kind of like at one point I saw the lady in her head in her hands she's just like she's like oh gosh this is like you know I felt almost feel bad for him like you're like you don't even believe what you're saying you know you have such bigger problems than beat bot Boop okay man um and you can just see imagine what the judge is sitting there thinking she's probably like and she didn't buy it she wasn't buying it so I don't think you know hopefully prayer is up that um we get to move forward and close um however it ends up closing move past it I'm moving past it regardless and I'm going to get into a getting this one movie we got a movie and we've got a A series on the dock um so they're both fun uh interesting and I've been I've been through everything from like the worst possible movies like the worst movies ever to the best you know Productions ever I've seen it all you know and I'm I'm so excited good for you yeah I'm so with this I want to get to the back to the lawsuit for just a little bit and so it sounds like you kind of threw your hands up there for a little bit and put it in God's hands and then what happened so well I was holding on to after I got fired we went to Arizona and it was basically out in the middle of nowhere where my mom we squatted on my mom's property for about a year and a half um cuz we didn't have anywhere to live you know not couldn't live out of the RV the entire time we could have it's nice but um squatted in her guest house in Arizona and just kind of like I did a lot of um fan Expos which I felt like I was nervous about doing because I was like oh gosh this is where artists careers go to die as a Fan Expo and so I was really just like but this is how I'm going to make money and so I started doing fan Expos and it just my first one just like in Orlando just like blew my mind like so much love and we tripled our numbers and so many people come up to my booth and mothers who are crying thank you thank you for taking a stand so many like um people that really do need the hugs they need the love you know the people that show up to these things need to feel physical touch after being locked down for 2 years and so you know some of the other actors have like a they they would have like one of those like barriers so that you go and take a picture and there's a barrier in between and I was like screw that I was like these people need to be hugged they've just been locked in their homes and they're traumatized you know like we need to get back to that and so I just like I just when I go to these fan exos they give me more than I could ever give them and I am a total Fan Expo person now cuz it gives me excuse to hug and listen to people's stories and love them and let them see my face and uh just let them know I'm just human too and it's just I just got done with one in Knoxville and it was the most precious thing with the most precious people and I love it so much so that's what I did to make money for um you know since and then um yeah and then we got the daily wire movie going event after about like 6 to 8 months since the announcement and then we went up in Montana and just knew that's where we wanted to be I think where I was kind of going with this was elon's attorneys oh so a week before I had prayed real hard because I was kind of holding on to this idea of Justice right oh man so much Justice that hasn't happened in the world and so much Injustice that is so blatant and in everybody's faces um and I just was like God I want Justice you know and then it was like you know Gina maybe your Justice is being alive and living in a beautiful country and you know move you know moving up to Montana and having a lovely family and having a totally alternative like you know your your mind frame's different and so you might be struggling with money but you know it's okay you're going to figure it out and let it go let it go to God give it up this is his and if you have to be a common waitress probably be a pretty bad one but I will do it you know I'll do whatever life just you're not a professional fighter and an actress and I did bartend at one point though and I was pretty good at that well my dad would disagree but I I would be better at that now more experience um so I was just kind of like okay well if I'm not supposed to go back to to storytelling and and Hollywood and nobody's hiring me because I got completely shamed and okay I'll let it go if I have to and as soon as I did that a week later is when Elon musk's um attorneys who he had hired out um email emailed me and said we're interested in looking into your case and um I had my family lawyer will L I was like are these people legit or am I being like pranked right now um because Elon Musk had put up that tweet that said if you've ever lost your job due to um a post here on Twitter we'd like to look into your case so it's not just me he's helping he's helping he helped a college student he's helping I mean he's helping a lot of people he's wow yeah he's like funding their cases um wow oh he's if it wasn't for Elon Musk we'd be in a really scary place so he wants Justice I think he's a he's um I've never met him I've never spoken to him but I couldn't be more grateful for what he's been doing in my life and what he's been doing I mean and not just like individual lives but Nations I mean the guy you know early in the Ukraine war I mean I remember yeah moving satellites over because nobody else would right so that they could have internet coms here you have you know Joe Biden has spent how how many billions of dollars on all of this and Elon Musk gets it done like that and it's like you're just wasting and M money laundering all of our tax dollars and Elon Musk is using his own money to save lives and it just angers you so I got that email I responded back and like I made sure that was the person was legit email back and they're like wow Ed Edward TR he's like that's the fastest anybody's gotten back to us I was like well I been it was you know like I had to get myself out of LA I had to use the funds that was like that I had to get myself into a better living situation so my life wasn't in danger and then um you know I had to re rebuild my life which takes money and I wouldn't be able to take e you know Disney yeah yeah you know my my family lawyer told me he's like this is going to at least be initially a half a million Gina and what do you want to do and I was like I don't have that you know so I was like okay so rebuild your life it is and um hopefully I get back on the horse you know and this all gets revealed so the week after I gave that all over to God and I said yours a week after that is when they emailed me and it's just been kind of like the pressure from that moment my body is getting healthier I was carrying a lot of Shame I was you know you know food is also you know a thing that people food I think is one of people's largest addictions um alcohol you know and just kind of like shame on top of Shame and now my body is breathing again and it's a slower process because the older you get the harder it gets but like I'm I'm coming back into myself again and I've got my dream of like where I want my business to go and uh and this court case is going to run its course and I think people see I think people see it for what it is what is the what is the best case scenario of the Court when it's over when when it's done in your favor yeah um it just depends you know I um I got asked this question at The Fan Expo the other day and you know [Music] um at what point you know so if she refuses the dismissal of Disney right then we get to go into Discovery and um what we find in Discovery so at what point does this corruption get revealed you know um is my question and at the same [Music] time I want so badly to get back to my life I don't want to spend years in um court at the same time so I have this battle in me and I know that the right answer will come and I don't have that right answer at the moment I'm definitely I think proven that I'm not afraid to fight and take things through to whatever end but I also I want this country to heal I want to move on and and I want to make art and I'm sure people are pretty tired of me talking anyways and so I I'm sure a lot of people would like to see me get back on film and kick butt again and that would be that would be my victory is to have a a movie come out where people just absolutely love see me back in my element and um that would be my personal victories succeeding and moving past the one of the worst cancellations in Hollywood history so however that happens you ever thought about making that your first film my grandmother told me she said well one they tried to shave half my head for the Mandalorian and my my grandma was like baby don't you do that she's like then you're going to have to do that all the time and that is going to go out of style and she said so so that's my first piece and she's classic she's you know classic southern Bell and she said second don't write your biography too soon if you're going to write it don't tell your story too soon you know if you're going to do that wait until you've gotten past and you've gotten I'm not past the struggle yet I'm suing Disney I'm in court I'm I haven't made that movie yet I haven't gotten past to that to that finish line where I can start my other Marathon so I will tell you this I am um going to keep it very interesting it'd be a fascinating film yeah oh yeah would be yeah and um I don't know I hope you do that tell my story yeah and movie form yeah but I'll be directing it and I'll be like I don't know like 55 by then like give me 15 years I've got a lot of things I need to accomplish before that one I have a lot I want to do yeah yeah I've got a lot of ideas I'm very creative and it's just starting to happen now is there I've heard rumors that the longer this lawsuit drags out out and the more involved Elon gets the lower the Disney stock tanks oh and that he may be thinking he might buy Disney do you think there's any validity to that um I have no idea I think there's a lot of rumors but I think um it would be pretty cool if you did I'm with you I hope that's happening I think I think one of the things where um people are struggling with is fighting the cultural War right you know which is why I choose to go to the conventions where I'm not necessarily welcomed by you know uh more more liberal cities who have made judgment calls on me that they don't know why because they've read some skewed article yeah um but I choose to show up because and I uh I get invited to go to public speaking events at Republican places and and I don't want to go to those I want to stay in the art space cuz that's where people shy away from and that's where we we need to be we need to somebody needs to be fighting in the art space and um that's what that's where I want to fight I want to fight right here in the Art Space telling stories and um making art and every form that people can enjoy and feel comfortable with and at the same time still pushing boundaries you know it might it still might not be for everyone I am an action art that will be neck snapped how how far along in your new Journey are you when it comes I mean it's producing directing acting so my first our first plan is the movie which we're about a month away from having a finished script and um one more trip to Hope one more trip to LA and it's going to be there and then from there my uh my manager who I'm his only client cuz I was needed him and it was just a perfect fit and so um then he's going to show me how to do the rest of it cuz he this is what he does so I know the right people will come I know through the last three four years so many people want to be a part of my projects they're just waiting for me they're waiting for something for me to give them something for me uh to give them to buy something for me to have them watch you know they're rooting for me in such a a heavy way that um I'm going to give that and it's going to be amazing and I'm I don't say that um very often but I say that with confidence so it's it's going to be cool what are you going to call this Enterprise um it's actually called raven C that's my business name Raven was uh the name I would have called the baby that I lost so wow that's deep yeah it's also interestingly enough it's also you know like the bird that on the Ark on Noah's Ark he let go of a raven it never came back so um the Dove came back but the Raven didn't so I don't know Raven sees my business name that is very cool wow thank you yeah I love that thank you man um you know is is it sounds like you're very well vered in the Bible and I'm trying I learn something every day how much of what do you think of what we're seeing going on in this country and and actually not even in this country the entire world the entire world seems to be in disarray do you think this is biblical oh well absolutely I think it's um I think there's two different ways you know in my you know well in my mind but God's got a much bigger plan for all of this and we don't even know you know we can't even possibly imagine but um through his word he's given us kind of an outline and a lot of prophecies have been fulfilled right I think almost all of them so um there's a part of me that prays that my nieces get to grow up and uh don't have to face this in a young age you know um this kind of One World Government this globalist this um mark of the beast of um totally eliminating you know cash so that the only thing that you can uh the only way you can pay is by putting something on your right hand or your forehead um and once you do that it's just game over right so I don't want my nieces to grow up in that which is why I'm okay with speaking about it all um I'd like there to be another 25 years or plus of a Great Awakening of this Great Awakening of just people understanding that this is a beautiful life to to fight for to understand that there's been wrongs that has been happening historically and that we can help to correct and come together as a people but um just by the what they tried to do with Trump the other day it seems like they can't lose because if they do lose they are all done for a while until they die um you know pass away from old age or whatever get imprisoned even I mean people belong in prison yeah so with the mentality of this group that cannot lose without being exposed I don't see how they let Trump get back in there and then you have to really just pray that Trump you know you know Trump holds on to you know power and and power checks himself you know cuz anybody in that situation and I think he seems like he's in a pretty good place right now yeah I'd say he's never looked more mature as a politician um I say he's outshining the entire Democrat Party Like think they're getting exposed left and right and um it' be wonderful to have him back in office to kind of set things straight but it's um not going to be pretty cuz they're they can't lose yeah they lose people are going to prison the more desperate they become the more drastic the attempts mhm are and um like what are your thoughts the assassination attempt just doesn't seem that was a young kid how did he get so close I mean what are my thoughts like how did a kid get a l I think that I don't have any more insight than anybody else but the Insight that I do have is I have worked with Secret Service several times I've been on sniper overwatches I've been on I don't know how many damn protective type details when it comes to foreign dignitaries and and and people up to the level of the president and without any of the other context like the context of hey we I mean remember the without any of the other context I don't know I think that that is impossible to have been dropped yeah I've seen how Secret Service works yeah it's to the top level and that was an easy venue a very simplistic venue it [ __ ] just doesn't get dropped no it doesn't get dropped especially when you have people in the crowd screaming and pointing yeah there's a man on the roof there's a man on the roof and he was a boy things don't get dropped like that so I you didn't even see all the plain closed Secret Service guys that nobody's talking about they are infiltrated in every aspect of these venues and so I don't see how it wasn't an inside job exactly then you look at the context you know of what the trail of what's I mean they were throwing a [ __ ] fit before he ever even got elected right I remember seeing grown men like smash eggs in women's es who were going to vote for him you know it was all over the media then you look at the violence that was created once he got in there with BLM with antifa you know with all those I mean all of those I mean they burnt city blocks to the ground right yeah then you had the big Tech gurus Zuckerberg and Bezos completely shut him off from communicating to the American public while he was still in office by the way totally cut off Zuckerberg okay he wants to sit there and play nice with a bunch of Fighters and oh I do Jiu-Jitsu now and look at um 4th of July and his you know his I'm like they're welcoming him and that kind of goes to what we were talking what you were talking had such an influence on the 2020 election and you know I don't W I come out and apologize yeah come out and say hey I was totally wrong but don't try to Buddy up to a bunch of UFC fighters and hide behind the American flag on your yacht and like ride in the wave like yeah I don't I hate that like man up to what the we wouldn't be in the situation um had you not censored I mean lives lives were lost mhm maybe even these wars wouldn't be happening they silenced them and then you go farther and they prosecuted him and that didn't work work and so what's the next progression let's kill him I didn't think it would be that obvious I thought there would be attempts I didn't think it would go like that yes that's and you know I mean I don't even think it was that kid thought it was somebody maybe further on out maybe I just I can't you know and then I I can't even open Twitter or any of this [ __ ] right now because or not Twitter X X Instagram insert social media platform and it's well the guy was a republican okay because we've not seen any falsified [ __ ] documents before this right right well oh no and he doesn't have even if he was like it and and in my experience in War I mean that's you know what these terrorist organizations did was they got really good at coaxing mentally handicapped people into coming Mar suicide bombers yeah suicide missions you know and and what are we doing with right now a high level of mentally handicapped people who are being you know I mean turned into extremists and they don't even know why they're so angry and I you know sometimes I see these broken people in my lines at these Expos and I go out of my way to just hug them and things for them cuz I can see how close that could possibly turn the opposite direction which is um you know is why I show up to these things cuz I've had death threats I've had stalkers I all of that but it's important to it's important to stay out there and it was really admirable I mean iconic what Trump did and and stood up with his hand and blood and also just the next day or the you know the other day when he was out there giving a speech you could just see so much emotion just like I could possibly lose my life it just became that much more real it looked like on his face like I could possibly be assassinated these people aren't going to stop until they do and they're showing me that yeah and it's just it's just so gross and um evil it just it's just so evil well if there were any doubts about his cognitive and physical ability um for being what is he 82 Oh I thought he was 80 he's the 80 yeah in the realm we got one you know what I think to get shot Biden is 82 isn't he is yeah Biden's 80 is Trump 79 I know let's just let just say they're in the same ballark age wise I Surly wish I you know I have a strange thing if it was my cabinet I truly wish that Robert I I really do like Robert Kennedy a lot um I wish that he would have been vice president and I and I would have put VC as secret secretary of state so he could just like nail the entire press every single day I would tune in every single day to watch VC hand hand the media their ass you know and I also kind of feel bad for the media too because it seems like they've been a bit uh silenced and are finally like just take the chain off our throats but the chain shouldn't have they shouldn't have allowed the chain to be on their throats since you begin every single one of those newscasters had a decision that they had to make I hope those news agencies get stuffed in a hole and never come back out because they're all they were Talking Heads they were complicit and they [ __ ] know it yeah and I see them all out there calling for you my lips going to start twitching I'm so [ __ ] pissed off know we need Unity we don't promote political violence like I'm sorry what the [ __ ] was black lives matter antifa like did you guys miss that show yeah or what was calling okay so they're basically saying for the last I don't know eight years right Trump's Hitler Trump's Hitler Trump's Hitler if you really believe that Trump's Hitler now you're like oh you know we don't want anything to happen to Trump well I mean this this shooter was 20 right and they've been doing this for 8 years on Trump so just con I was talking to my cuz I had to call my attorney for a sanity check he's always got a great perspective so I called him the day up hey they are great for that and I'm like I'm like Tim I need a sanity check how was this not an inside job you know and and we had a long discussion and one of the things that came out is what you're saying you know they they called him Hitler for 8 years this is the biggest threat to democracy this is and so rewind 8 years ago this shooter was 12 years old taking all of that in his entire young adult life through puberty all he's heard is this [ __ ] and now they want to act [ __ ] surprised when the people that they've brainwashed are trying to kill presidential candidates kill the opposition or maybe that's what they wanted this entire time wow 12 years old to 20 years old and that's you know that's all you're fed every [ __ ] day they created this now they're scared shitless they've been exposed they've been exposed everybody knows and how crazy where that came from not even crazy how wonderful it was so obvious and you know my belief system that had he not just turned had Trump had not just turned his head lightly that would have gone straight through right to the back and had he not just done this at the right second that would have gone a whole different way which which means that they were trying to kill him right cuz he moved his head just right at the right moment um and there is a God yeah that was definitely very OB obvious to Trump as well and I think his whole his whole demeanor has kind of changed and I think that he realized his life was spared for a reason and I I remember uh before the election in 2020 we would have days of prayers you know like long days of prayer all over the nation and I think we should probably get back to that because I think that our prayers are being answered now but that we need to continue praying um because you know God might not answer it right when you want it but he does follow through and so yeah hopefully hopefully hopefully we can get this country back and um get our lives back and see our nieces and your children and everybody grow grow up in some pride of being an American understanding that like we can you know learn from history and understand what's to come and just really kind of take some respect in ourselves as human beings and hopefully we can get there cuz if not well I'll be in Montana if that was divine intervention I think it's inevitable that that's where we're overhead it and um man what a breath of fresh air that would be right so yeah but well Gina I just want to say I loved having this conversation with you and just getting to know you and um I can't wait to see what you produce thank you in the future I know it will be amazing and um man you know just and once again I mean thank you thank you for being who you are and there just isn't anybody in your position that's doing this thank you thank you I think my mom and my dad they they they did a pretty good job my mom she's little angeliz so and and thank you cuz i' I've been watching everything that you've been doing and I'm so proud to just be like this man seems so cool of course I want to go talk to him well that means a hell of a lot I'm sorry it took me so long to get here hey all in good time so best of thank [Music] [Applause] you history economics the great works of literature the meaning of the US Constitution did you study these things in school probably not or even if you did maybe it's time for a refresher time and Technology have changed a lot and that's why it's important to learn the fundamentals that's why I'm excited that Hillsdale College is offering more than 40 free online courses and the most important and enduring subjects you can learn about the works of CS Lewis the stories of the Book of Genesis the meaning of the US Constitution the rise and fall of the Roman Republic or the history of the ancient Christian church with Hillsdale colleges online courses all available for free that's right free I personally recommend you sign up for ancient Christianity in this 11 lecture course you'll study the inspiring stories of Christ in the first four centuries of Christianity the course is self-paced so you can start whenever and wherever go right now to hillsdale.edu SRS to enroll there's no cost and it's easy to get started that's Hillsdale EDU SL SRS to register no matter where you're watching Shan Ryan Show from if you get anything out of this please like comment subscribe and most importantly share this everywhere you possibly can 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