happy sunday social fam hey i'm here with my assistant my armor bearer evie girl hey we are preaching in tulsa today but i want to take a moment first of all tell you how much i love you i'm so thankful you're there at gilly's service is going to be phenomenal this is the last sunday evie of our series can we talk and we got a special speaker today i've left you in good hands pastor manny orango is in the building he's got a phenomenal word i cannot wait for y'all to hear what he's done preach look he is a part of the social dallas fam so right now i need you wherever you are gillies get up on your feet get up on your feet and i want you to put your hands together for pastor manny orango [Music] any worshipers in the building today come on i'm glad that you would stand up for me because but i didn't wake you up this morning come on my blood was not shed for the remission of your sins so god we ask that you would speak hallelujah it's funny i've uh [Music] i've always been short okay i'm five five and a half right now you may not be able to tell because i'm on stage but i'm short all right uh which means i was short as a kid i was a short i was a short child and i remember standing in front of this door that was supposed to automatically open and as we were singing i thought about this memory i was standing in front of this door and like door wouldn't pop open it's like the sensor could not pick up that there was a small child in front of the door you know i'm standing there like you know the door's supposed to pop open i walked back walked back up walked back walked back up nothing and then all of a sudden this door just like magically opened you know i started feeling good about myself like yeah i ain't that short you know i'm saying i ain't that small and then i made the mistake of looking behind me and realizing that it was my father who had stood behind me and the door opened i wonder if there's anybody in the room today who realizes your degree did not open that door your sorority or fraternity association didn't open that door your last name didn't open that door i wonder if there's anybody in the room who you stood in front of some closed doors and there are some things that the enemy said no but god stood behind you your heavenly father began to add his weight to what you were trying to do i wonder if there's anybody believing this is the week god's gonna open some doors oh i've been believing by faith for some doors to open and god i will give you all of the praise and all of the glory and all of the honor you are worthy of it all god don't let me take any of your glory from myself i wonder if there's anybody who's in the room and you're saying yo the same god that opened doors back then oh i'm in front of a new door but he's not a new god he's the same god and the same god that was faithful for you two years ago or five years ago or 10 years ago come on he can be faithful for you today so come on god we ask [Music] right now by the power of your spirit that you would be in the room god we do not need my sermon we need your message i've got a sermon but god you have a message that you want to communicate to your people today so god let me go ahead and move out the way and god i ask that you would speak we speak right now to every scale on somebody's eyes and we declare right now come on blindness be gone you're gonna see today come on god i don't have the ability to turn a hard heart soft but you do so god we speak to every callous heart that may be in the room and we declare right now your heart is getting softened by the power of the holy spirit and god we speak to every deaf ear and we declare right now deaf ears be open to hear what the holy spirit wants to say to you today god we ask that you would rest in the room your word says that where two or three are gathered in your name there you are and you inhabit the praises of your people and we've praised you and so now god our expectation is that you would rest with us inhabit our praise come on move your weight around god shake people free today walk up and down the aisles we speak in generalities on stage but you make everything specific to the very person who needs to hear it so god we put a demand on heaven's supply come on in jesus name we pray and we all say together amen come on give god a big shot of praise in the room come on hallelujah god there's nobody like you hey you can have a seat you can have a seat uh man pastor robert is not here and i don't care if he's in the room not in the room in oklahoma i don't care where that man at we're going to honor the pastor of the church okay come on if you believe come on that you are here and the head of the home is a great man of god come on we thank god for pastor robert pastor taylor um i dare not stand on the stage and not honor the pastors in the room so uh i absolutely love pastor robert and pastor taylor hey i'm not i did not fly in today i drove in today because i am officially a dallas resident okay so i am a happy somebody uh we moved in like a week and a half ago still unpacking boxes but i grabbed the coolest sweater i could find you know what i'm saying and try to put that one on so no no no okay never mind my wife's here today hey baby and my son with the baby headphones um shout out to pastor robert shout out for pastor taylor so generous and kind and i can't believe this is real life i get to do this all the time and i love y'all who was here the last time i preached who was here the last time i preached okay that's a lot of hands for some of y'all who are like i don't know that man i don't know who that is come on who's never heard me before come on my name is manny orango i used to live in north carolina i now live in texas and uh i'm on the social team and i'm on the teaching team and i'm really really excited to share the word of god with you today it's our last week it's our last week of can we come on can we talk uh can we talk uh for no no anyway anyway uh i heard my wife say from the front row don't sing don't sing uh uh come on i want you to get your bible come on who's got a physical bible with them come on physical bibles come on all my ap honors christians with the physical bibles good uh come on if you got an iphone go ahead grab that come on go to genesis chapter 29 genesis chapter 29 if you've got a physical bible or an iphone go to genesis chapter 29 if you have an android device just look up at the screen just just just put that down and just look up here okay all the unoffended people said amen um uh let's go let's go we're gonna start reading together and if there's a word that i don't say okay that means it's your turn to say the word that i don't say okay we're gonna do fill in the blank styles and i believe that god has a word for you today as it relates to your romantic relationships as it relates to every relationship in your life i think that relationships is the number one way that god uh is the number one vehicle that god uses to change people's lives guess what anybody in here who's got an increase of faith or you've gotten favor guess how it came it came through a relationship it did if you're saved right now it's because somebody come on witness to you it's because somebody invited you to church so relationships is the number one vehicle that god uses to impact your life well ironically enough relationships is also the number one vehicle that the enemy uses to distract people and to derail people's destinies and if you think that satan is going to show up to your house ring your doorbell and he's going to have horns and a pitchfork you got it twisted uh hello satan typically shows up in people that you can't discern hello hello hello and jesus has enough discernment to know when even one of his disciples is being used by the enemy to speak into his life peter hears jesus talking about how he's going to die and how he's going to suffer and peter pulls jesus to the side imagine the level of confidence to pull jesus to the side like i got to confront you jesus you know and and peter begins to say that'll never happen you're not going to die you're not going gonna suffer you're gonna be with us forever and what does jesus say get behind me satan come on i better i hope that i'm talking to some people who are more loyal to your destiny than loyal to some friend that you have at some point you're gonna have to look people in the face and be like nah don't get behind me sarah get behind me satan okay uh we can make up later but right now you are trying to derail and distract me from what i know god has called me to do and so the the number one vehicle that god uses to bless people is people the number one vehicle that the enemy uses come on to derail people to curse people to bring destruction into people's lives is people people hashtag tinderswindler anyway okay come on let's go let's go let's go come on i got adhd don't distract me don't distract me anytime i get distracted while i'm preaching i'm just gonna blame you you know what i'm saying stop stop distracting me uh genesis chapter 29 come on go to genesis chapter 29 we're going to start reading in verse 21 genesis chapter 29 we're going to start reading in verse 21. and if there's a word i don't say i'm going to need you to say the word that i don't say it says this then jacob said to laban give me my uh my time uh is completed and i want to make love to her not necessarily what i would say to my father-in-law but hey i ain't judging you jacob you know what i'm saying um next week next verse verse 22. so laban brought together all the of the and gave a feast but when evening came he took his daughter leah and brought her to jacob and jacob made love to her and i okay here we go i don't know if you know this bible story but jacob sees rachel leah's sister and when jacob sees rachel he thinks to himself i got to have that okay i got to have her i like what i see it says that he has love at first sight and he commits i work for you laban for seven years to get that bad thing right there her name is rachel okay like how them hips is moving rachel okay i want some of that okay and and and so he worked for seven years but on the wedding night laban pulled the okie doke and instead of bringing rachel out uh he waited until evening why did he wait till evening because thomas edison had not invented the light bulb okay it's dark in the middle of the wilderness getting married an attempt somewhere all right and puts a veil over leah's face and brings out leah when morning came look look let's get to the next verse here we go when morning came there was leah now you know you're not cute when the bible say you not cute [Music] [Applause] that's a whole nother level of not cute right it's one thing for like me to say somebody's not cute like yeah that girl she ain't cute here's a whole nother thing for moses to have scrolls he's in the middle of writing genesis and the holy spirit taps him hey buddy remember to tell him leo was cockeyed you know what i'm saying like that's a whole it's a whole other level it's a whole new level of cute for your daddy to think you knock you the reason that laban is like oh we gotta sneak this one in it's because laban is like see rachel ain't got no problem getting a man but this one over here we gonna do a buy one get one special okay hashtag old testament don't try that today you know you're not cute okay and so laban waits until it's dark brings everybody together and in the morning there was leah and come on we you we got to give jacob a little bit of grace because come on don't act like you ain't never woke up the next morning don't act like you ain't never woke up like there was michael you know what i'm saying and it was laban didn't trick you it was just a club it was just strobe lights and alcohol you thought somebody looked a certain way because it was dark up in the club and you went home with them and you woke up the next morning with buyer's remorse you know what i'm saying you woke up the next day like i cannot believe okay come on don't act like you brand new i love the bible the bible is very entertaining if you think the bible's boring i don't know what book you're reading okay laban tricks jacob he's now married to leah when he worked for rachel let's keep going uh jacob has some interesting words okay he says in verse 25 when morning came there was leah so jacob said to laban what is this you have done to me i served you for didn't i why have you deceived me laban replied it is not our custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one bruh you should have told me that you could have told you left that clause out okay uh finish this daughter's bridal week then we will give you the younger one also in return for another seven years he's 14 years in verse 28 and jacob did so he finished the week was with leah and then laban gave him his daughter rachel to be his wife laban gave his servant bill to his daughter rachel as her attendant verse 30. jacob made love to rachel also and his love for was then his love for leah and he worked for laban another seven years i want to give us context for for uh rachel and leah before we go to genesis chapter 49 i'm going to read one more passage of scripture to you but we got to kind of give some context because i need to introduce you to these two sisters now rachel oh rachel cute rachel abadi you know what i'm saying rachel rachel rachel's instagram picture's getting getting all types of getting all types of likes you know rachel is rachel look good but the bible says that when when jacob and rachel and leah decide to leave laban's house rachel steals her father's household gods which means she's an idol worshiper i don't know what you need household gods for if you ain't an idol worshiper so she cute but she kind of she's kind of a heaven you know let's keep let's keep going and then laban comes out the house who took my household gods rachel got the nerve to hide the household gods underneath her seat on a camel and then she says you can't look because i'm on my period now any woman who's lying about her period i thought all the men was gonna say amen right there okay i don't think i don't think can be trusted i'm on my period no you ain't he's a lion idol worshiping somebody so not only is she an idol worshiper she's a liar not only is she a liar but the bible says that her and jacob they can't get pregnant and every time she is that my son every time she can't get pregnant every time she can't get pregnant she blames jacob for the fact that she can't get pregnant which means so you an idol worshiper you a liar and you're emotionally manipulative rachel is bad but she also bad for jacob and i would contend that any relationship that costs you 14 years of your life is probably a mistake now this is probably not what you've heard in church in church you know how this gets preached if a man really wants you he should put in 14 years of work for you and the bible says that he enjoyed all 14 years but if the table was turned we would never tell a woman to wait around for a man for 14 years so i would go ahead and contend that if a woman shouldn't wait around four man for 14 years then a man probably shouldn't be waiting around for a woman for 14 years because a double standard is toxic okay come on let's keep going let's keep going so rachel hair is right face right sis got it going on cute thick in the right places made jacob stop in his tracks like i will work seven years for her but he didn't know all of the spiritual and emotional work in the toll that her toxicity was going to take on him meanwhile you got this other sister with the fetty you know [Applause] you know looking at two people at the same time you know i can look at you and you you know this is the bible this ain't even me it's not me this is the bible this is the bible how's the emotional wherewithal to get married to a man she didn't even choose and never even complain her father doesn't even think she's beautiful but she doesn't do anything toxic in the entire story meanwhile god sees that she's not loved and every couple of years homegirl's popping out another baby reuben simeon levi judah if you were to look at jacob and say no no no no you got a decision to make you can choose what's attractive or you can choose what's fruitful you can have what looks good or you can have what is good and a lot of us find ourselves in the same fork in the road there are people in your life oh they look right and we don't realize that the enemy knows your type uh-oh [Music] the enemy knows you like them tall dark handsome so all the mens that be rolling up on you just so happen to be your type and you don't have enough discernment to go [Music] this is attractive but it's not fruitful this is beautiful but it's empty on the inside and rachel's barrenness physically is actually a mirror into her bareness spiritually she's not just barren physically she's unfruitful meanwhile leah not as cute but fruitful no no no can we be real in church can we be real come on i got one person who's like yep come on can we be real in church come on this ain't no library this is sanctuary come on talk to me can we be real here we go i'll give jacob the first one you had sex with leah it was a mistake it was dark you thought it was your wife you get a pass but homeboy had reuben simeon levi and judah lee was doing something in that tent leah was doing something she may not be cupid she would get a job done she was doing something she was throwing it back she was doing something she was don't act brand new and like throw it back what is that don't act like you speak king james now come on [Applause] did he say throw it back yes which means this i told you the bible is awesome the bible is very entertaining which means jacob liked leah privately but she just wasn't cute enough for her to be his arm candy uh oh can i talk to the ladies real quick can i talk to the ladies real quick can i talk i hear i get good energy over here okay come on i'ma talk to these ladies over here okay uh any man who is cool with you privately but don't want to claim you publicly is dating you for his ego not for his destiny because if that man were to prioritize his destiny he would realize i want to be with the woman who's fruitful if he's dating you for his own ego then he wants to be with the woman who's beautiful uh-oh because he needs his friends to like how you look uh oh uh oh oh oh i'm trying to give you the truth if a dude is willing to be sexual with you in private but don't claim you publicly then you need to run away with that do you need to run away from that man not with that man from if you like me you'll like me in public that's why we say no no you're a christian get baptized why because it is a public declaration of what a private decision that i have made if i really am serious about it then everybody will know why why do you keep our relationship a secret baby because it's just special it's so special i don't want people you know to ruin what we got that is a lying somebody okay if you if you like me privately if you don't like me publicly you ain't gonna get nothing from me privately come on come on come on let's keep reading the bible i got 12 minutes okay come on holy ghost we're going to now jump to genesis chapter 49. genesis chapter 49 jacob is now an older man jacob is actually about to die and he's giving instructions to his sons on how to bury him and where to bury him and this is like a nerdy little detail that we have in the text but i think it helps us to understand the story of jacob rachel and leah in so much more depth genesis chapter 49 verse 29 says this then jacob gave them his sons these instructions i'm about to be gathered to my people bury me with my fathers in the cave in the field of ephron the hittite the cave in the field of macpalla near momrin in kanaan which abraham bought along with the field as a burial place from ephron the hittite there here we go abraham and his wife who were there isaac and his wife who were buried and there i buried leah oh come on there i buried leah do you know where rachel gets buried in the middle of the wilderness and on my grave because by the time rachel died and jacob was an old man he was like you you hot but you a hot mess you hot but i got the choice of who i'm gonna be buried with for the rest of eternity and abraham and his wife sarah are buried together and rebecca and and my daddy isaac are buried together and you know what i did when leah died we trooped her body all the way back to our ancestral burial ground and i want to be buried with leah because by the end of his life he was wiser than he was at the beginning of his life at the end of his life he was more healed than he was at the beginning of his life when we talk about attraction we need to be careful because who you're attracted to when you're insecure versus who you're attracted to when you're secure are very very very different who you're attracted to when you still got open wounds versus who you're attracted to when those wounds have healed are very very very different what you are attracted to in one season of dysfunction versus what you're attracted to in a season of functionality and growth is very different what you're attracted to before christ versus what you're attracted to after christ very different and this here we go here's the title of my message it was leah all along it was leah all along it was leah all along because let's be biblical without leah there would be never be a boy named judah and if you know biblical lineage you know that judah is the great ancestor of jesus without judah there would never be the lion of the tribe of judah and laban is the one that deceived jacob but it was god who was trying to bless jacob with the best woman that he could ever have in his life god was the one that was saying get this you don't even know what you need jacob all you know is what you want all you know is what you're attracted to you have no idea what you need it takes humility for us to admit i do not have the power to pick for myself i do not know i do not know when i was young and arrogant i thought i could pick a good wife guess what now that i'm older i went thank god i did not end up with the women that i liked when i was 20 and 21 and 22 and 23 and 24 thank god that that woman right there was patient enough to deal with me while i got myself together and loved me in my dysfunction at some point you are gonna have to realize something that you may not know what's best for you it was alia all along and okay let me talk to the single folks because there's probably leah in your life right now [Applause] pastor manny he ain't my type well let's look at your type the last five dudes you dated was toxic and crazy and dysfunctional and cheated on you so maybe it's time to deviate from your type maybe just maybe you like crazy oh boy [Applause] okay okay okay can can we be real here we go anybody like orange juice come on anybody like orange juice come on i love me some oranges you like orange juice come on raise your hand i like orange juice okay has anybody ever made the mistake of brushing your teeth before you have orange juice ain't it crazy how something that is delicious becomes disgusting based on what was in your mouth before you put the orange juice in there for some of us you in church now and you like pastor manny i don't know these church dudes is boring and i would look at you and go um they're not boring no no no they normal the only problem is you set your palate to crazy so you don't like normal that's not boring that's not boring he got a job knows his purpose is not as exciting what you call exciting i call crazy that's crazy go ahead describe exciting to me go ahead oh oh i'm scared what you call exciting i go oh you could go to jail for that what you talking about that's crazy you like crazy you need to be careful whether you're judging things that don't taste right to you based on whether or not it's your type it's funny when me and my wife first got married i said to my wife i didn't like rice it was true didn't like rice hated rice i don't like rice and she was like okay i'm gonna cook all the meals so it's good for me to know you don't like rice i was like yeah i don't really like rice so she would make all these other sides and then we would go out to eat and uh i didn't know sometimes that i was ordering dishes that had rice and at the end of the meal she'd look at me and go you ate all that rice thought you told me you didn't like rice and i was adamant nope i don't like rice hate rice she was like oh evidence would suggest it didn't matter what kind of restaurant we would go to and we even got asian food or dominican food or any kind of she'd realize yo he's finishing the rice so she starts slipping rice into my meals at home and she realized i'd finish all my food well then i got into therapy not because of the rice good serve i just i think i hate rice no no i didn't get in there because of the rice i got a therapy to deal with my my family dysfunction at a dad who was in prison for 18 years my father's cuban okay i have a dad who took me to a crack house for the first time when i was six years old okay and i had a mom who was pregnant by the age of 13. and so this is a lot of dysfunction in my family i grew up in a very very toxic dysfunctional atmosphere and you know what i'm going to take a minute and just veer off of my notes real quick and let somebody know just because you grew up in dysfunction does not mean you have to be trapped in dysfunction i don't care what background you come from your brokenness may not have been your fault but your healing is your responsibility at some point if you have enough discernment to know that your mama was crazy and your daddy was crazy if you have enough discernment to know that they were dysfunctional then you have enough discernment to get functional for yourself so come on we do not put labels on people i don't care what background you come from i'm the first durango in a functional marriage first i wrangle to graduate from college first i rango to own property first aren't going to have a child after marriage not before the devil is a liar i don't care what your last name is i don't care what you've done god doesn't count your sins against you there's no generational curse stronger than the blood of jesus come on we bind every form of generational dysfunction that the enemy wants to keep perpetuating in your family and in your family's lifeline come on we take authority over that so i'm in counseling because i believe in prayer and counseling hello i need an altar call and a therapist come on i need bubba mushundai and give me the manual with the names of the dysfunction come on tell me what i need and so we're talking about my dad and i'm venting about my father i'm saying you know my dad was cuban and so it wasn't a real meal unless he had rice i'm venting i'm in therapy for my dad and i'm just starting talking about how he was unappreciative of my mom and my mom would would was seriously was a very very like subservient uh uh wife and and she was uh a home wife you know i'm saying she was a housewife and she would always like pick out my dad's clothes and give my dad manicures and she cooked all the food i grew up eating like three hot meals a day you know what i'm saying like i was spoiled right and so i'm venting and i'm saying every time my dad would sit down it didn't matter what my mom made mashed potatoes and gravy macaroni and cheese she's from selma alabama with a gold tooth to prove it you know what i'm saying she's southern fried okra doesn't matter what she made my dad'll be like there's no rice i'd be like bro we had breakfast you mean there's no rice it's eggs bro you know and i'm saying this in a therapy session can't believe that my dad was so unappreciative of of of my mom and you know what it clicked i've been saying i don't like rice and it has nothing to do with my taste buds and everything to do with my trauma [Applause] the kind of man you like has nothing to do with your taste buds it has everything to do with the trauma that you're trying to heal from and for a lot of us the reason you can't break up with that dude is because he's not your boyfriend he's your anesthesia he numbs all your childhood pain and he numbs areas of brokenness that you refuse to deal with and the reason you're attached is not because you're in love the reason you're attached is because he takes your pain away and even though he adds more pain to your life you have done the math and he takes away enough of the pain to be able to add pain and i want to help you today because you can leave a relationship like that that is dysfunctional that is codependent that is not healthy and at some point your attractions are gonna have to change [Applause] you may look at me and say your taste can't change i'm telling you right now i used to hate rice and love it today love me some rice you know why cuz i got healing and the moment you get healing things taste different to you your type will change and jacob as an old man goes bury me with leah because man me and leah get along and leah is not toxic and leah oh she can carry a conversation and man leah understands me and leah listens here we go all right i got negative one minute all right we gonna do this okay if we are gonna prioritize fruitfulness over attraction come on we're gonna what we're gonna do prioritize fruitfulness over then we have to be good at managing seed if we're gonna be fruitful we have to be good at managing what seed we have to be good at managing seed so there are five seeds that everybody in the room has five forms of seed that every single person in the room has everyone has them and we're gonna go through all five in 30 seconds it's gonna be great help us holy ghost number one words every word you speak is a seed you sow every single word you speak is a seed you sow and you have to begin to realize that i'm not just talking i'm sowing seed every time i open up my mouth i'm sowing seed so all the husbands in the room if the dude she works with at her job sows more seeds of compliments we can't really be all that shocked when the fruit of attraction starts growing on the wrong tree uh-oh okay can we talk about marriage real quick because i believe that the man is supposed to be the head of the home that's not even controversial that's biblical however a head has a couple ingredients a couple of parts that make a head a head a head has to have eyes that work so if the man is supposed to be the head of the home then that means he has to provide vision for where the family is going if you're going to have a head that means the nose has to work which means the man has to have discernment to know when an atmosphere is off and not safe for his family if a man is going to be the head then that means he has to be able to hear from the holy ghost and if a man is going to be the head then that means his mouth has to work he has to talk he has to sow seed and he has to communicate if you expect to be the head of your family and you can't see where god has taken you you can't discern when anything's off you don't hear from the holy ghost and all and most of all you don't talk you're not a head you're a skull [Applause] if you're going to be the head of your family then that means you are going to take responsibility over the seed you sow now talk about seed as it is in the physical so it is in the spiritual men sow seed what do women do they impregnate they grow they incubate and they eventually give birth to the seed you give them so if all the seed you sow is negativity doubt fear complaining uh oh criticism i don't like your food oh that seed oh that ce got quiet in the room because not what you say it's how you say it and there is a way to praise your spouse into change and to praise your spouse into becoming the person that you see them to be because you got god's perspective on them before you marry them in the first place and so when you talk there's faith in what you say if you're married to somebody who you know lacks confidence then why would you use that as a weapon against them when you talk you are sowing seed every time you talk every word the bible says this you're gonna have to give an account for what the words you speak when we talk about can we talk we got to realize that we have to frame this not just as words but as seeds that we're sowing at all times it's funny the reason that me and pastor robert got so close is because we were doing a conference in north carolina called flood conference we invited pastor robert in 2016 then again in 2017 then again in 2018. well in the middle of 2018 and 2019 my pastor randomly calls me one day and just says yeah we're not doing that conference no more now to give you context the conference had grown from 500 youth and young adults to about 2 000 youth and young adults i was proud of this conference this thing was near and dear to my heart there was no board meeting there was no conversation it was just we ain't doing that conference no more oh that hurt i was offended i was angry i was upset i was a youth pastor on staff at this church in north carolina but let me tell you this by the time i got home and those words got to my wife's ears do you want to know what i said out of my mouth i said i believe the holy spirit wants us to put this conference on the altar of sacrifice because i need my wife to show up to church and say amen when my pastor preaches so why would i sow a seed of criticism about somebody that my wife is gonna have to be submitted to that's not wise that's called gossip and guess what happens when a man sow seed after you sow seed you roll over and you go to sleep guess who has to deal with the seed that you just sold into their life the woman has to deal with the seed that you just left deposited into her now after you sow seed every man knows this you go home talk about i can't stand deacon jimmy hate thinking jimmy disrespected me i can't stand he can jimmy i hate deacon jimmy two weeks ago about you and deakin jimmy golf buddies again y'all made up y'all reconciled guess who now hates deakin jimmy she's now pregnant and giving birth to bitterness towards zika jimmy all cause you couldn't keep your mouth closed all because you sowed seed irresponsibly spouse is not just your venting partner they're a garden that you're sowing seed into and at some point you're gonna have to realize everything i sow into this relationship is going to grow into something so before i'm quick to argue or quick to confront or quick to gossip or quick to vent i have to take inventory on what kind of seed i'm sowing into the soil of this relationship and both parties have a responsibility not only the man that's sowing the woman is sowing as well so guess what sis if you got a male co-worker who's sowing more seed than your husband it's your responsibility to shut that down at work uh-oh and put a gate up around your garden don't go to work fishing for compliments that's a moment to have a conversation with your husband be like you know what i look good right there's an area i need you to sew in i need i need i need words of affirmation i need that man at some point you're going to have to admit that if there's a certain kind of fruit in your relationship it got there because some kind of seed was sown and if we're going to be fruitful and we got to know how to manage seed i'll give you two through five real quick number two time is a seed time is a seed you can't spend more time at work than you do in your marriage and think that it's gonna flourish you will reap where you sow so if you spend all your time playing video games uh-oh that's where you're gonna reap relationships require time you know what time does it helps people to trust one another you can't rush hard conversations set aside time one of the things that me and my wife did that was wise is instead of blindsiding each other with confrontation i say hey can we talk it's one of the scariest words in marriage can we talk and i say how about this i'm a public speaker i speak for a living it's not fair for me to blindside you because just because i'm a better debater than you doesn't mean that i should win all the arguments so can we talk on monday at two o'clock man tia will show up monday at two o'clock with a list prepared because i'm a verbal processor she's not it's not fair for a verbal processor to get into an argument and you've won the argument but you lost the relationship what good is it to win an argument but lose the person you say you love [Music] if you win arguments you lose relationship that's the equation time number three tears psalm chapter i think it's 126. psalm chapter 126 those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy you know why some of us can't get over our ex because you keep crying about them uh oh not realizing that tears is not just moisture leaving your eye sockets every tear you cry is a seed you sow i'm not saying to be in denial not emote but for some of us you've been mourning for two years now relationship been dead the expiration date they're coming on and you're still mourning over it number four money you keep saying things like we can't afford a vacation well guess what well we can't afford date night well at some point you're gonna have to sew that's not money you're spending that's actually money that you are investing into the fruitfulness of a relationship and last one john chapter 12. john chapter 12 says this we can put it up on the screen john chapter 12. has this been helpful today you sure has this been helpful today i want to make sure this is helpful last one john chapter 12. very truly i tell you unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and and what dies it remains only a single seed but if it dies it produces many seeds anyone who loves their life will lose it while anyone who hates their life in this world will what keep it for eternal life do you know why there are many seeds in this room today there are many seeds in this room today because jesus did not keep his life he decided what i'm not gonna love my life so much as to keep it to myself but i am a seed jesus realizes i'm a seed and a seed has one job a seed gets in the ground and it dies and as long as a seed dies to itself it can what produce a harvest of 30 60 and 100 fold and there are millions of christians around the globe worshiping jesus today because he decided to sacrifice his life words are a seed time is a seed tears are seed money is seed you know what the fifth seed is you are a seed you're a seed you know what marriage requires of you for you to die to yourself it requires that you get in the ground and you die and we don't just get married because we look good in pictures but we get married because i first given myself to god so that i could give myself to another person i don't even know how to be selfless with another human until i first die to me i died in my selfishness if there's one person i would say is a poster child of dying to herself it's my wife sitting on the front row when my when me and my wife were struggling with infertility every infertility doctor said well bro it's you nothing's wrong with her she's completely fertile said you don't have any mobile or working sperm it's you you're the problem and i remember in order for us to have children we had to do a process called ivf and vitro fertilization required no shots from me it required two to three shots a day for my wife she was not infertile but you know what the day she married someone who was infertile she became infertile and so she was willing to go through pain every day for us to have that boy because she died to herself before she married me are you married to somebody who's got debt let guess what then that means you got debt you married to somebody who's got family drama then guess what you got now family drama you want to know what marriage is an invitation for you to die to yourself if my wife had said well i'm not the one that got diagnosed with infertility i ain't taking those shots we would not have been able to multiply and be fruitful you want to know what it takes for your relationship to be fruitful to people who are willing to say i'll die to me i'll die to me what's your love language i'll give you your love language uh i'm dead i don't what what do you need well i i want to serve you i i want to love you i'll put you before me and as long as both people are putting the other person above the other person then you have an equation where both people are dying to self constantly and that is what the world needs as a picture of love not just good pictures not just romance not just what's attractive but what's fruitful that next argument how about you die before you start that next argument that next complaint that you have for your wife how about you die before you complain the next conversation you go into how about you think more about how they're gonna hear it than what you have to get off your chest the moment you begin to die you do marriage a little different you say you know what i'm willing to sacrifice maybe you're in this room are you saying pastor manny i gotta change my words i gotta change my words you talking to me if that's you i wanna lift your hand i wanna know who i'm praying for come on wave at me i gotta change my words i gotta change my words maybe you're in the room and you're saying you know what i'm stingy with my time i'm stingy with time i haven't been so on the right time come on wave at me wave at me wave at me i gotta i gotta i gotta actually invest time maybe you're in the room and the stuff that breaks god's heart doesn't break your heart yet you cry and mourn over stuff that god is not crying and mourning over and the stuff that breaks god's heart it don't break your heart you cry over the wrong stuff and you don't cry enough over the right stuff and you got to start turning tears in the seed who's that who's that who's that i want to know who i'm praying for number four you're in a relationship maybe you're married and you've just been stingy you're stingy with finances you see it as my money and your money and god's like nah whoa you're one the two have become one who am i talking to come on who am i talking to come on i see your hand i see your hand and maybe you're in the room and you're saying i hope this is the most hands cause my hand's gonna go up for this one too i need to die to myself in order for a relationship to actually flourish i need to sow the seed of me into my family i need to sow the seed of me into my relationship i need to sow the seed of me i've been withholding myself i came into this with selfish motives and i need to die to my selfish ambition so this relationship doesn't have to die i want the relationship to live so you know what i'll do i'll die if that's you come on raise your hand god i thank you for all of my brothers and sisters at social dallas today god i thank you right now by the power of your spirit you're going to take the seed that we're stewarding and you are going to help us to sow it well god i ask right now for an increase in every area of our life god as we sow in tears god i ask that we would reap enjoy god as we sow ourselves into our marriages god i ask that we would reap love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and gentleness and self-control come on god we want a harvest of righteousness god we want social dallas to be a fruitful place and god that starts with fruitful relationships fruitful families fruitful marriages got it there's somebody in the room today and they've been talking about divorce it's been arguing on non-stop god we ask right now that you would bind them both together with cords of love that cannot be broken come on god we bind the spirit of division and divorce come on god right now if there's somebody who's just been wandering in relational confusion god we declare clarity over their life today god i ask that as we begin to steward seed you would make the lease in our life more attractive that if we've been prioritizing rachel we've been prioritizing aesthetics and attractiveness that you would help us to die to our shallow wants and shallow needs and begin to prioritize the kingdom come on god we pray that over every single person under the sound of my voice come on from the front to the back from the left to the right and we declare come on amen that means it is done come on so let it be come on amen amen amen i love you social dallas [Music] [Music] you