it is time to Spill the tea on Rich Kids friendships till 2014 I was a rich kid and then from being the girl who was spending crazy amount of money and getting expensive watches on her 16th birthday I turned into a girl who was avoiding her friends so we don't go to the expensive restaurants together so I don't have to chip in because the war has started on the east of Ukraine and I realized that I can no longer keep up with some of my friendships so I've been on both sides and I'm here to tell you how friendships work when you're one of them and when you're low-key very much not one of them let's talk about this when you're a kid of wealthy parents there is a high chance that you will go to private school and when you go to private school you're surrounded by people with very similar backgrounds to yours and because of this you live in this bubble thinking that everybody lives this life it's not just you and people around you so you take this for granted because you haven't witnessed anything else and this is your Norm my relationship with my friends was always very natural because we had very similar interests we would go to the same vacation spots we had a lot of topics to talk about and we would easily understand each other back when we were kids probably our parents had some financial difficulties but they didn't really discuss it with their kids that's why we all felt like we're pretty much aligned and our families are doing the same and my life was like this when I moved to Kiev as well I'm originally from luhansk but when I moved to Kiev I also felt very comfortable around my friends because my parents were doing very well and on top of that my parents always wanted to spoil me so when there were my birthdays my parents would always throw big parties for me and those parties would be in the most expensive restaurants my parents would give me a very expensive jewelry expensive watches and honestly I'm not gonna lie I felt great it made me feel like I'm on top of the world and when you're a teenager you also like want to impress your friends so this really helped me to impress my friends who were also teenagers at that time and when you're a teenager it's very easy to be impressed by money when my friends used to go out it might sound weird to you but in Ukraine it's totally normal culture when you are a kid of wealthy parents that you start going to high-end restaurants from the age of 14. so we would go to those restaurants we would sit and spend so much money there and I want to point out that at least the way it worked in my group of friends it wasn't like let's say there are four of us and I ordered just tea and my friend orders full-on meal I'm not gonna just pay for the tea we're all splitting in the middle and nobody had any problems with this that's why nobody even questioned this that's how it was was so now you understand I was living a very comfortable life never had to worry about money was everywhere with the bodyguards with drivers had this crazy lifestyle and was always assuming that I will have it and then 2014 happens no more money guys money is out of the picture but what is not out of the picture is my friends and my friends are not going through the same hardships because I'm the only one at that point in my group of friends from the east of Ukraine so my friends are still living the same lifestyle as they were because luckily back in 2014 it wasn't Kiev who was impacted by the war as well so my friends didn't really understand what is going on with our financial situation but all of our business stopped working and I I came one day to my dad and I was like that should I be honest with my friends like should I tell them that we're struggling it was the year like my final year in high school so it was just one year to go so I was like those are my true friends why would I not be honest with them like of course like I can tell them but for some reason I still wanted to double check with my dad so I came to my dad for advice and I was like what do you think I should do should I be honest and open with them he's like you're an adult now you're 17 years old if you want to be honest with your friends great I admire that but if you do this you should also expect that their relationship towards you might change and I was like why would it change we've been friends for such a long time they're my true friends and they're like yes my dad was like yes they're your friends but they're friends with you because of how you present yourself and she was like and the way have which you have been presenting yourself is like this Rich spoiled kid and he didn't mean it in a negative way he was like you're an amazing girl you're very hard working and very talented but your friends are probably friends with you not only for those reasons not because you are hard working but because you have a lot of similar things to talk about when you go to restaurants or vacations you guys can afford the same things that's why everybody feels comfortable in this friendship are they still gonna feel comfortable around you if you come forward to them and you say that we're going through financial hardships he said I will support any decision which you make it's up to you you decide what you want to do but be prepared for consequences and I was like all right maybe I shouldn't come forward and it was my last year in high school so I was like I can fake it for one year I can I can pretend that everything is okay it's just one year and then I will go to university and from distance it's way easier to pretend that you are somebody who you are not you know what I mean of course it's not as easy to fake that you're rich when you don't have money guys it's not an easy task especially when you go to a restaurant you order just tea and you have to pay for everybody else like before I didn't have to think about this I'm like I never questioned why are we not splitting like why are we not paying for ourselves so are we always splitting in the middle I was like this is ridiculous why why were we doing this but when I didn't have Financial struggles it was okay with me but now I was like okay I can't do this like this is too much but at the same time I don't wanna I don't wanna voice this because this how things have been working for the past five years in our group I I'm not gonna be the one changed in the last year before we all bounce you know so as my friends were calling me I would like come up with different excuses I would be like Oh I'm busy this weekend that weekend I'm there because I just couldn't spend that much money anymore and uh I realized that I'm not gonna talk to my friends about this of course with my closest friends some of them knew but we never had like this conversation like hello I can't afford to go to this restaurant anymore if you want to chill with me you have to come up with something else I thought my true friends will understand it without me having to say it out loud now that I'm older I would be obviously more comfortable with expressing those thoughts but back then I thought that it was embarrassing and I'm not gonna hide it I thought it was embarrassing that's why I was hiding it with my whole life like this and I want to tell you one story as I already mentioned I wasn't very open with my friends about this but of course they knew where I'm from and they could guess what is going on in my hometown and with my dad's business so a lot of them were like calling me they would invite me to restaurants whatever whatever and I would be like ignoring them not ignoring sometimes I would go sometimes I wouldn't but then there was this one girl with who back then we were Frenemies at some point we like became friends then we like the same guy drama and uh somehow we started talking less and less of course like I had some hard feelings towards her which is honestly ridiculous because her and I just like the same guy and back then he couldn't realize who he likes so it has nothing to do with her or me she's an amazing girl but as a teen who doesn't know who to blame you blame a woman isn't this ridiculous guys a girl blames another girl over a guy now I'm smarter than this but back then I had those hard feelings for her but we were still kind of like friends not not that much of friends anymore but we still talked I remember one time she called me and she was like do you want to go out and I was like oh no no sorry like I also didn't want to be like straight up with her about our financial situation and she said do you want to go to the park and walk with my dog and I know does it like me saying this out loud probably doesn't make sense but this was the first person who wanted to see me just to see me and she was willing to not go anywhere fun anywhere fancy where we had to spend money she just offered to meet without spending money and to me it was I was very stunned I was like out of everybody this is the person who's willing to see me without wasting money I was so grateful and I don't think she even remembers of this situation because for her maybe it was just a small act of kindness but for me back then it meant so much I was like wow I actually do have friends who are friends with me not because of something maybe some people just like me back then it was a crazy concept so time goes by somehow I graduated from high school my friends still think that I'm good financially and then I go to the university and I have a plan I'm like all right one year of Faking was too much now I'm going to a place where nobody knows me nobody knows me at all and I can be friends with completely different people now I'm no longer obligated to be friends with Rich Kids because now I'm gonna be surrounded by so many different people I can choose anybody and I was so excited I was like this is a fresh start let's go so I come to University first two years I had to live in the dorm and my first year in the dorm on my floor it was all International students and I was like oh why the reason why I was like this is because International students are usually the rich kids those are there because they're paying full tuition and things like that I was like [ __ ] I was like okay this is not a problem this is not a problem I'll just I'll just try to avoid them I'll I'll I'm on the whole new Vibe I'm gonna if if I meet some cool people from there I'll be friends with them but if not I'll be friends with anybody else but of course I was still dressing to impress so I was still wearing my Rolex I was still wearing like I was droopy guys I was very drippy and you have to remember when I was in university it was 2015. that was the rise of high Beast culture right everybody's full-on logos then the Richer you look the cooler you are it's right now the trend is quite luxury back then that was not the thing it was if you're rich show would prove it so I was like how come those people want to be friends with me like why am I attracting only rich kids girl because if you're dressing like one that's who you're gonna attract it's as easy as that the moment when like Fast Forward when my parents were able to make their money back around 17 2017 2018 I realize I am done I'm done wearing this fancy cool stuff for me back then my expensive clothes and my watch was like it was helping me to feel like I'm still back in my old life so between 2014 and 2018 I was faking it to feel better about myself to feel like I don't have to let go that whole lifestyle and I was like okay we're still like in Ukraine we're still driving in an expensive car because we bought it before the War I still have expensive jewelry because we bought it before the War I still have cool clothes because we bought it before the war and like sometimes I would like literally save up money this is so ridiculous to buy expensive things I could have bought so many useful things if I was Secure in myself back then but I was not doing it for myself I was doing it for other people guys it's funny that you want people who you don't even like to like you isn't it funny so when the financial situation changed in my house my parents were able to make me a rich kid again even though I was older now I realized that it's time for me to dress not to impress anybody but to dress normally to not post this lavish amazing luxury lifestyle because that's to me screams insecurity because that's what I was doing when I was financially insecure and I realized that before 2014 before we went through financial hardships I also wasn't doing this because when I was financially comfortable I didn't need to prove it to anybody I knew it people who knew me personally they also knew it and that was enough but when I was going through hardships I was like now it's time to post now it's time to prove that we're still on top of the game guys if you were secure nothing nothing can bother you other people's opinion of you what people say about you it doesn't matter nobody can convince you that something is wrong with you or that you are not enough if you think otherwise that's all that matters and now I want to answer the question which I get very often on my tech talk can Rich Kids and people from different uh financial backgrounds be friends there's no easy answer to this I would love to say yes and I have friends from very different backgrounds and I love them and they love me but I'm always scared to say something to them which in their eyes will look spoiled so what I'm okay saying to my friends with similar backgrounds to mine like I can tell them about my vacation I can tell them about what my parents did for me and it will just sound like a conversation for us but when I say it to people who have completely different lives I'm afraid that they will take it in the wrong way and that's why in those friendships I'm more reserved I'm always controlling what I'm saying the other thing is that it's always easier to be friends when you can afford the same things and I have experienced it myself as I have told you in my story you can be amazing friends but let's say you want to go on a vacation together there are a couple of scenarios here either your Rich friend pays for you and it can be one time two times but are you comfortable with this and are you okay with them pain every time like I don't know it depends on you second you will offer them to go to a hotel which is reasonable for you they will not want to do this because they've never been in any other hotels than five-star hotels and everything else for them is not going to feel like vacation it's gonna feel like suffering so this doesn't work and then you can just go on separate vacations which is totally fine especially when you're older like everybody goes on different vacations people go with their Partners when they're older that's normal but there is still gonna be this thought in the back of your mind that like even when you go to the restaurants that this is too pricey or for the other one this is not good enough of course there are mature people who really want to be friends who always find a way to make it work always and I have my closest friendships were always with people with very different backgrounds than mine very different because I understood that the way you can learn and the only way you can learn is by surrounding yourself with very different people on Tick Tock I also get a question where do you make rich friends first of all if you're friends with somebody just because they're rich and you think you're fooling somebody trust me it's always very obvious why you are friends with people right you're not fooling anybody and if you have wrong intentions it's not gonna go anywhere trust me how I would make friends if I would want friends from wealthy backgrounds and with like some cool experience guys first of all networking events so underrated there are people with such different backgrounds and it's super easy to start the conversation because you are there on the Professional Event second the LinkedIn there you see where the person works and you also can invite them for coffee you can ask them to be your mentor and you can build more than friendship mentorship is so underrated this is what will get you places mentorship look for right mentors not just friends and lastly don't be afraid to make friends on Instagram in uh in 2023 I made a New Year's resolution that I will meet more friends because over the past few years prior to that I was very into social and I decided that I need and I want more friends for my personal like development and because I'm starting a business I need to meet people with from very different Industries so first of all I stopped being scared to talk to people in real life I now do that and people talk back this is amazing I started reaching out to people on Instagram the Yemen and you would be surprised how many people actually respond and how many other people actually also feel lonely and also want friends so this is amazing so don't be afraid to reach out to anybody but always have the right intentions in your mind I want to wrap it up by saying that guys over the past months it has been a crazy social media Journey for me I have started my social media one year ago because I wanted to spread awareness about Ukraine and then I started sharing my personal story as well and your support has been so amazing so I want to thank all of you for being here you're always encourage me and you're the reason why I'm doing this my goal was never to build a huge following but it was to build the community with who we can talk about things which are currently considered taboo for some reason so if you have any questions let me know and I'll see you next week