The Problem with Being "Too Nice" at Work by Tessa West

Introduction

• Speaker: Tessa West, Social Psychologist
• Event: TEDxColumbiaUniversity, September 2023
• Topic: The impact of being "too nice" at work and how it can be detrimental.

Key Concepts

• Overly Polite Feedback:

  • People often mask anxiety with overly polite feedback.
  • This approach is more harmful than helpful in a work environment.

• Impact on Work Environment:

  • Over politeness can lead to confusion.
  • It prevents clear communication and understanding.
  • Can create an environment of uncertainty and lack of accountability.

Tips for Effective Feedback

1. Be Clear and Consistent:

   • Replace generic feedback with specific observations.
   • Ensure feedback is straightforward and conveys the intended message.

2. Overcome the Awkwardness:

   • Acknowledge the discomfort in giving direct feedback.
   • Practice makes perfect; the more you do it, the easier it becomes.

3. Constructive and Helpful Feedback:

   • Focus on being helpful rather than just polite.
   • Aim to provide feedback that can lead to improvement.

Further Reading

• Tessa West's first book: Jerks at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About Them.

Conclusion

• Being "too nice" often leads to unproductive work environments.
• Effective communication requires clarity and the courage to provide honest, constructive feedback.

Related Topics

• Business
• Psychology
• Leadership
• Work
• Women in Business
• Sociology

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This talk emphasizes the importance of clear and direct communication in professional settings, advocating for feedback that is meaningful and actionable, rather than overly polite and vague.