Transcript for:
How to Shift Your Identity and Reinvent Yourself

in this video I'm going to tell you exactly how to shift your identity and reinvent yourself so if you're ready to create a new you step into your dream life then get ready get a pencil and some paper because this is one of those videos this practice has changed my life and it will 100% change yours too hey friends welcome back if you're new here my name is jills and I help women step into their power tap into their feminine energy and become their best self so if that's something you want to do you should subscribe and stick around so if we're talking about how to reinvent ourselves then that means we also have to talk about how to shift our identity because you can't reinvent yourself without also shifting your identity it's impossible and once you understand the importance of your identity or your self-concept whatever you want to call it that is when things will start to click and I'm going to start off with one of the most important things you need to understand it's probably going to be the most important thing that I say in this entire video you will never go farther than the limits of the person you see yourself as as you will never go farther than the limits of your own identity in other words your identity determines how high you go in life your identity determines how good things are going to get for you how successful you are what kind of person you are how amazing your relationships are how much money you make your identity determines what's possible for you but it also determines your limits and where you'll be held back you will never change your life until you change the person you see yourself as if you think that you're bad with money you're just someone who struggles with money that's just who you are well then guess what you will never Escape that reality you will always struggle financially because that's who you see yourself as it's become a part of your identity and your identity rules your life your identity creates your limits your identity shapes your reality so if you want to reinvent yourself your identity is either what's going to propel you forward to your dream life or constantly be the thing that's holding you back you can't just wait for things to change if you want things to change you have to change who you are first who you see yourself as first and then your reality will start to reflect that now you can either change your life in one of two ways the first way is the more popular way and that is where you force yourself to start new habits and stick to them and eventually if you stick to it long enough and are consistent with it over time eventually your identity will start to shift to match those habits and over time eventually you you will become that new person if you force yourself to go to pilates class 5 days a week then eventually you will see yourself as a Pilates girl and then eventually going to Pilates every morning will just be a no-brainer it's just a part of your routine it's just what you do not because you made it a habit though but because that habit made it a part of your identity it's because you now see yourself as a Pilates girl so that is the first way which totally works but sometimes it can be a little bit hard and feel like a struggle the second way in my opinion is usually faster and easier and it's what we're going to be talking about in today's video the second way is the opposite what if you did it the other way around instead of trying to shift your habits to become a new you you first start by shifting your identity and when you shift your identity your habits will naturally start to align with that identity and then your behaviors your actions your habits further reinforce and solidify that identity like a circle like a loop the best example of this is in James clear's book Atomic habits he gives the example of a man who's trying to quit smoking if someone asks him hey you want a cigarette there's two ways to answer this question he can say no thanks I'm trying not to smoke or he says no thanks I'm not a smoker do you see the difference in these two options right here do you see the difference in identity this one's trying real hard not to smoke he's trying to make it a habit he sees himself as someone who smokes but is trying real hard not to the other one just isn't a smoker because they decided they weren't anymore because that's just who they are now which one of these do you think is actually going to make this change and change their life this one and that is why identity is so important Behavior will always fall in line with identity my points in all of this before I actually dig into the meat of this video is that shifting your identity is how you most quickly most easily most effortlessly change your life and reinvent yourself it all starts with an identity shift so now that you understand how monumentally important your identity is in changing your life and becoming a new you let's actually fully dig into how to do it how to not just shift your identity but how to actually reinvent yourself first and foremost before anything you have to decide who that new version of you is you have to get crystal clear on her identity who is she what's her life like what does she believe about herself how does she feel in her body what kind of stories does she live by what does she assume to be true about herself and the world that she lives in who is she not just like oh she wakes up at 7:00 a.m. every day and drinks a matcha but like who is she at her core who is she who does she see herself as don't just think about the external how people see her go internally into her who is she if you could read a whole Memoir on her life and the inner workings of her mind what would it say you cannot reinvent yourself if you don't know where you're trying to go and you cannot shift your identity into that new version of you if you can't even Envision what that feels like the first step before anything else is getting incredibly clear on who this person is know everything about her and then deciding that that's who you're going to become now the second step in this process is something that most people miss and that is there is no rebirth without death so many people want to step into this new version of themselves and reinvent the themselves without actually thinking about what that means without actually thinking about what they're going to have to let go of without thinking about what they're going to have to let die there has to be a letting go of everything that does not align with your dream self you have to let go of who you've always been to become someone new there is no other way you have to let go of the old stories that you've been telling yourself you have to let go of the old negative beliefs that you've lived your life by basically you have to separate who you are now and who you've always been with who you want to be your past is no longer relevant what you've been through what you've experienced what you struggled with is no longer relevant it has to be released anything that does not align with that new future version of yourself it has to be released if you've been really bad with money for the past 10 years of your life it's no longer relevant it's no longer a part of your story if you've always had crappy boyfriend after crappy boyfriend it's no longer relevant because it's no longer a part of your story if you are trying to reinvent yourself and you are always failing there's a good chance it's because you're not fully allowing your old self to die you won't let her go you're still holding on to her and this is sometimes an uncomfortable process there can be a lot of grief in this process and this is a really good metaphor it's like if you've been wanting to buy a home forever it's been on your vision board forever and you finally do it you're so excited you're so ready you're so excited for this next chapter but you might also feel a little bit of sadness moving out of your cute little apartment like ultimately you're happy and excited but it's also a little bitter sweet you taking that next step means saying goodbye to what you've known for the past several years but you can't move into that new beautiful house until you move out of your apartment until you fully let go of that apartment so to reinvent yourself you can't just become aware of who you want to be you also have to become aware of what that means that you're going to have to let go what you're going to have to leave behind what parts of you you're going to have to let die this might mean old stories old experiences this might mean old beliefs and thoughts that you've always had about yourself this might even mean letting go of certain friends or even certain clothing items you know my husband actually had a major reinvention of himself this past year he really leveled up and I'm very proud of him but I realize that the one thing that was holding my husband back at first was me what I mean by that is that I been with him since I was 17 you know I know him inside and out I know everything about him and he had let his old self go but I hadn't fully let his old self go and I was keeping it around and it wasn't until he was like jills you don't understand that's not me anymore that I realized what he meant and what had happened he shifted his identity and I was keeping the old one around when we actually want to reinvent ourselves often times it's the people that we're closest to who hold us back or we feel like they hold us back our mom our sister our boyfriend our best friend because they know you so well they know who you've always been they know what you've gone through and so they will continue to see you as that person even when you don't want to be that person anymore they can sometimes make it hard for you to let go and fully let those parts of yourself die if you've always been the insecure shy girl but you want to become the magnetic carismatic girl it might feel really hard to do that when your best friend who you've known since you were five knows how shy you've always been because it's not only your identity that matters it's not only how you see yourself it's also how you think other people see you it makes it hard to let go of her and let parts of her die I'm going to talk about this more later on but the main point here is that you cannot reinvent yourself you cannot become someone new if you are not able to let go of who you are now there just is no other way there is no rebirth without death the next step in the process is the big one and that is to actually become that person and shift your identity and at this point you're probably like okay I get it but like how do I actually do it do I just pretend to be that person do I fake it I'm going to break it down as best I can and this is something a way of thinking that made me fully understand it I want you to think about the best actors and actresses in the world the reason that they're so good in every movie is not because they're playing pretend they're not pretending to be their character they're not just playing Ro they're embodying that character and if you're someone who understands energy and is into that kind of stuff that whole world then you probably know what I'm saying they're not pretending they're embodying and they are not the same to shift your identity and become a new you you don't pretend you don't fake it you embody in other words you're not trying to imitate a person you internalize that person and there is such a big difference in energy behind that if you're confused about the difference pretending to be someone is like coming from the outside in you try to act like that person you try to look like that person you try to show up as that person so that you can hopefully feel like that person and I'm not going to say that this doesn't work because it can but embodying moves from the inside out you harness the energy of that person you literally get in touch with the energy and you put it inside you you feel it in your heart in your gut you feel it deep in your bones in your brain and it just becomes you and then it just becomes how you show up in the world the worst actors and actresses they look like they're playing a part they look like they're just reading some lines off a script the best ones are their character they temporarily are that person this is why a lot of people say that Heath Ledger was one of the best actors of all time I mean his role as the Joker in Batman will forever be iconic and I know this is more of a negative energy but this is really important he didn't just pretend to be that character he trans transformed into that character it's been written that he locked himself away in a hotel room for weeks just studying the Joker becoming him and quote embedding him into his own psyche through meditation a lot of people say that playing the joker may have contributed to his early death and obviously I don't know if that's actually true or not but that's just what a lot of people say because he fully took on and embodied this dark energy and that's not so easy to just turn off the point is that he became so good at his character not because he just memorized and recited some lines or because he put on some crazy makeup but instead by fully embodying and internalizing him literally embedding him into his psyche and you can use this same method to become whoever you want to be you can become your dream self by identifying who that person is know everything about her how she feels everything and learning to internalize it and you can almost disassociate from who you are now and who you've always been and become her by choosing to embody her by choosing to see yourself differently this is a small example but a great one I've been on YouTube for a few years now and I've been making money from YouTube for a while now too but I never really saw myself as a business owner I just kind of saw myself as a person who made videos and also made some money from it but once I decided to shift my identity and see myself as a business owner to identify as a business owner my income doubled the next month your identity creates your reality now did I double my income just by changing the way I saw myself no I changed the way I saw myself and that changed the way that I naturally showed up in the world I saw myself as a business owner so then I started acting like one and I mean this is kind of how manifesting works right act as if except you act that way because you embody the person that acts that way first you feel it first manifesting is sort of like identity shifting you embody that person so you naturally become them people often become who they tell themselves they are good or bad even if it's not true and not only that but we become who other people say we are good or bad even if it's not true if your mom always told you growing up that you are a smart confident girl I can pretty much guarantee that you're going to be more capable more confident of a person if your mom always told you when you're a little girl you do everything wrong you're not good enough you suck then you probably became less capable less confident like actually though if you have a kid and you tell them that they are a good kind kid you tell them this over and over again they are at least more likely going to become that they will be much more likely to be well behaved and thoughtful because they want to fit into the box of the identity that's prescribed for them and you can do this with anyone not just kids if you want your partner to be more generous every single time he is at least a little bit generous you can say oh I love how generous you are you're so generous if you keep saying that over and over and over again he is much more likely to be generous with you behav is simply just a reflection of your identity and people will 99.9% of the time act in line with their identity therefore if you shape their identity you shape their behavior if you shape your identity you naturally shape your behavior if you want certain Behavior whether it's in yourself or with someone else you have to reinforce the identity that creates it so if you want to reinvent yourself you have to see yourself as that person whoever it is before you actually are that person before it manifests into reality before you have any evidence to support it you have to talk to yourself like you already are that person think the thoughts that person would think feel the things that they would feel make the assumptions that they would make not because you're pretending but because you're embodying because you are internalizing that person embodiment is the secret to becoming whoever you want in life again if you are more familiar with this concept of energy and energy work and that whole side of life then this will probably be a little bit easier for you it'll probably make a little bit more sense to you cuz it's not about logic it's about a feeling but if you are struggling with this concept and how to do it then here are some tips of advice sometimes embodiment can be very difficult if you are trying to jump too far at once what I mean is that instead of going straight from A to Z sometimes you have to climb the ladder for example many years ago I had major health issues and it sucked I had to totally change my life to heal I had an autoimmune condition that people said was incurable and that I just kind of had to live with it but I decided that that wasn't going to be my life I wanted to be healthy and healed so bad I was willing to do anything to get there I would try to do affirmations and try to shift my identity try to embody the identity of someone who was already healed I was trying so hard but I couldn't do it I mean I was sitting there in pain trying to feel what a vibrantly healthy happy person feels like and those two things were just too contrasting I couldn't do it I couldn't believe it I couldn't embody that person because I felt too far away from it it didn't seem like it could possibly be real it honestly felt kind of like a joke so instead I thought okay let's climb the ladder a bit instead of going straight to the end all be all happy healed amazing person that I want to be let's just move up a step let's just get going in the right direction so instead of thinking and trying to embody I am help healthy I am healed I am all perfect now I changed my thinking to I am healing I am in the process of healing I identify as someone who is healing every day and that was all it took for me to change direction all I needed to believe in was that I was healing and that I was on my way I could not get on board with me being super healthy and pain-free but I could get on board with me healing with me healing every single day I could believe that I could embody that and then I started really healing and once I started really healing I was able to take that next step up the ladder to harnessing the identity of being someone who was fully healed and fully healthy and then eventually that's where I got I reached it I became that person I became healthy and happy but I couldn't go straight from A to Z I couldn't go from being in my darkest days to being crazy happy and healthy and amazing because I physically was not able to it was too much I couldn't feel that for myself I couldn't believe that for myself I couldn't embody it it was too big of a jump there's nothing nothing wrong with taking things slow and sometimes you have to focus on just taking that next step moving in the direction that you want to go rather than that be all end all goal if you can't believe it if you can't get on board with this new person this new identity if you can't fully internalize it if you can't fully embody it if you can't feel what this person feels like you won't create it so focus on the highest step that you can take that you can still still energetically get behind for example if you want to increase your income in your business you want to identify as a wealthy person if you're making $1,000 a month in your business right now but you want to be making 100K a month in your business are you really going to be able to believe and embody that 100K identity I'm not saying you can't but it's difficult honestly for me that's too much it's not impossible but for me it's too big of a jump but I would be able to get on board with five k a month and then eventually 10K a month then 15 then 25k then 50k and then finally 100K do you get what I mean don't be afraid to climb the ladder focus on the highest step the biggest jump that you can take that you can still believe that you can still get behind and that is the identity of the person that you will shift into and then once you finalize and solidify that identity then you can move on to the next one we are always in a process of Reinventing ourselves you are never stuck where you are and often times you can climb this ladder so much quicker than you think but you won't ever get to the Top If you don't let yourself use the steps if you need them now also if you're struggling to embody your dream self another tip is to practice internalizing this identity and embodying this person whenever you go somewhere where you don't know anyone like a coffee shop or a restaurant or a clothing store or the car wash this is where you practice nobody knows you here nobody knows your past Nobody Knows Your Story nobody knows your normal personality you get to show up however you want so start by embodying this identity whenever you go somewhere where you don't know anyone like the post office or wherever and this is where you practice becoming her you practice bringing her to life you practiced embodying her so you can feel what that embodiment feels like or maybe you can go for a walk in a nice neighborhood that you've never been to while you do that you are going to embody her just temporarily just to see what it feels like like kind of like a test drive it's just so much easier to reinvent yourself and embody someone new where you go someone where they are not tying you to who you've always been there's just less friction there like it's so much easier to reinvent yourself when you move to a new city or go on vacation right because no one knows you there so just go and practice all it is is practice and eventually you will feel confident enough to be able to carry this over into your normal life now sometimes when it comes to like close friends close family sometimes these people can be the ones that hold us back the most because they just know us so well they know who we've always been they know what we've always struggled with we're just so close to them right so you have to understand that in these relationships there will likely be a friction period a period where you are trying to see yourself as this new person but they still 100% see you as the old one this is normal it's not their fault it's just a part of the process and eventually the more consistent you are with this new identity the more that you stick with it they will see you for the new you and not the old one my advice if you feel comfortable with this is telling them what you're doing telling them who you're transitioning into and then not only that but show them who you are becoming prove it to them let them see it be consistent with it and eventually they will get on board and if they don't even after a long long time that might mean that the relationship is just no longer aligned now another super important point I want to mention is that if you are about to have some big change in your life moving to a new city moving into a new house getting married starting a new job or starting college or your Masters these can be huge mega moments of reinvention if you decide to make it one if you decide to capitalize on it if you want to reinvent yourself and you're already having a big moment of change it doesn't happen all the time lean into it and leverage it it makes it so much easier to step into that next level version of yourself because you're you're already undergoing big change you're already letting go of parts of yourself life changes can be a huge Catalyst for personal growth but it doesn't just have to be positive life changes it can honestly be negative ones too you break up with your boyfriend or you're getting a divorce all right that sucks but use it as a jumping off point you are already releasing and letting go this is already a period of starting fresh so you can utilize it and sometimes these big changes aren't planned sometimes they just get thrown at you like when I was all of a sudden diagnosed with an autoimmune condition right or maybe you just all of a sudden realize that you're apartment is infested with black mold and you have to leave immediately again that totally sucks but use it as leverage you are forced to make a big change in your life sometimes we're forced into New Beginnings when we don't want them but if it is there if it is happening then there's probably some sort of refresh that's needed don't waste those beginning moments even if you are at rock bottom there's so much Beauty in those Rock Bottom moments because it's often times those moments that can cause the greatest most massive Awakenings and major New Beginnings my biggest most wonderful most purposeful jumps in life all stemmed from Rock Bottom moments what I'm saying is that in these moments good or bad major change is already happening the bus is already moving Direction so the question is is are you going to hop on into the driver's seat or not but the thing with this though with shifting your identity and Reinventing yourself it's not that hard it's really not that complex anyone can do it but it does require absolute consistency that is the only thing that can sometimes be challenging with this if you really want to change your life you can't just turn it on whenever you're feeling a little bit motivated it doesn't work that way it has to become who you are and this takes very conscious intentional effort at least at first because again here is how it works you first shift your identity and your beliefs about yourself and then this will naturally shift your actions your feelings your thoughts how you show up in the world your behavior and then those actions will further solidify that identity that you have been created they will further reinforce it it's a loop so when you don't have that evidence yet which you won't you have to embody it feel it see it in your mind consciously and consistently until that evidence is created and once you've made real changes in your actual reality like in your actual life and you reinforce everything that you've been working towards that's when you solidify the internal work you've been doing and that's when it moves from having to be a daily conscious aware thing that you're working on to just a subconscious natural part of who you are you have to prove to yourself that you are who you say you are and once you do that the cycle is complete now if you feel feel like you keep hitting blocks with this like you feel like you keep reaching these highs and then it just falls back down again you reach these highs and it falls back down again like you can't sustain it you need to watch this video this is the reason why and I will tell you exactly how to fix it I truly hope you got value from this video if you stayed the whole time you're with me till the very end first of all know that I appreciate you thank you but also leave a purple emoji in the comments below so I know I will see you over there or I'll just see you next time in my next video love you guys bye