Transcript for:
DJ Shipley's Inspiring Journey and Resilience

hey everybody i'm in downtown franklin getting  ready to head into the office to wrap up dj   shipley's episode for the sean ryan show with  that being said it's becoming increasingly   more challenging to reach our  audience so if you don't mind   helping us out please hit that like button leave  a comment hit the bell and turn notifications to   all that's not just this channel  that's everybody's channel that you   like all right love you guys hope  you enjoy the show and thank you and uh one more thing happy thanksgiving war's not fair i think that was a lesson learned  out of that doesn't matter how good you are   if you don't get the chance to fight the  chance to show how good you are doesn't matter hey guys let me tell you about this subscription  service that i've been working real hard on   called Vigilance Elite patreon basically  on patreon we have it broken up into three   different tiers we've got tier one tier two and  tier three let's dive in our tier one patrons get   all the behind the scenes footage of  the sean ryan show that could include   behind the scenes photos that could be side  conversations that we have in between breaks   that could be specific questions that our patrons  give us for the guests on the sean ryan show and   a ton of bonus content that doesn't really fit  into any specific category for our tier 2 patrons   they get access to our tactical training library  which consists of well over 100 videos we've   broken those videos up into separate categories  and those categories are rifle fundamentals   pistol fundamentals drills tactics driving  gear and weapon setups and everybody's favorite   mindset also on tier 2 you will get a live update  from me on the 1st and the 15th of every month   where we talk about the upcoming guests on the  sean ryan show plus all the benefits of tier one   our top tier which is tier three gets full access  to all the other tiers plus they get full access   to me where we do video teleconferencing  vtc once a month we discuss anything from   tactics to current events to who's coming on the  show i take suggestions and it's very interactive   no matter what tier you choose the support is  greatly appreciated and it is the only thing   that makes this show drive on so thank  you for all the support see you on patreon first deployment in the seal teams you get in   biggest loss and seal team history  happens then you get through green team   and right after you graduate what maybe six less  than a year afterwards yeah i mean august of uh   august of 11. extortion 17 happens which  again is the biggest loss in seal team history i remember looking over and seeing um  jay and i remember him sitting upright   and i watched him get shot one  more time um right in the face   and it looked like that was it he hit the ground  so hard you knew he was dead so the way it was   it's the front door and is a long ass hallway  going down and there's a dude who's in a sandbag   position with a belt head at the end of the  hallway and it's just chewing down the hallway   boom spins him around and dumps him he  gets back up grabs him and gets shot again   so hold on did you eliminate the threat yep  he's dead did he he didn't hit you he did   he did hit you he hit me in the in the chest plate i unloaded on him got off  three rounds in a boat log i think he took a double stack to the elbow  so it blew out his entire arm and he took   him to the face that basically removed his jaw  removed his nose um and you could look inside him you could hear that dude the  impacts you'd hear him smack   you could hear him screaming  and it was very satisfying and as we go to divide this  dude opens up on the front door   and lets it go and just you just see  splinters of wood and just [ __ ] traces us it's not reality until it's reality that's not gonna happen yes it is whether  you want to or not it's happening right now hey everybody welcome back to the show i want  to start by giving everybody a couple of updates   on what we have going on here at vigilance elite  and i want to start off by saying thank you to   everybody that left us in itunes review guys  the sean ryan show now has 10 000 itunes reviews   in only 14 episodes that is unheard of  so if you haven't left us a review yet   please head over to itunes there's a link  down in the description just leave us one   word if you're short on time and help us get  to 20 000 reviews i would really appreciate it   moving on to our patrons our subscription  network where we put behind the scenes content   guys it is patrons like you that make all of these  one-of-a-kind stories from these gentlemen that   are on this show possible these stories most  of these stories have never been told before   and it really is your support that allows all of  these productions to happen so thank you very much   moving on we're now getting into the youtube short  game so we have all these different artifacts a   lot of them are from guests on the show maybe  you've seen some of them in the background of   the show and we are now doing a studio tour  of each and every piece on youtube shorts   you can click the link right there  and they'll show you the youtube   short the first one so we'll be doing  that all right let's get on with it ladies and gentlemen and now what you've all been  waiting for my next guest is a former navy seal   and a former development group also known as  seal team 6 operator he's got the better part of   17 years of operational experience he's  also the founder of tribe skates which is a   skateboard company that employs only gold star  family members if you don't know what a gold   star family member is it's basically a family  member who has lost an immediate family member   in war that's who he employs which is very  solid work he's also the founder of gbrs   group which is the premier training group in the  united states and most up-to-date at this time   ladies and gentlemen please  welcome my next guest mr dj shipley dj shipley welcome to the show man appreciate you  having me yeah it's an honor it's good to be here   yeah it's good to have you we've been wanting to  get one of you guys over here for a while and uh   and you know finally it happened so but just  a quick snapshot of your career before we get   started 17 years in the military most of pretty  much all of which is in naval special warfare   went through bud straight into the seal teams  and then over to deaf group so medically retired   now you are the owner of two successful  companies one being tribe skates where you employ   all everyone employed there is a gold star  family member correct correct and you guys   make skateboards apparel uh you gave me one  of those boards it looks really awesome uh   it's gonna look great here in the studio and  then the other company uh you co-own with your   best friend and former teammate cole fackler uh  gbrs group which uh in my opinion is probably   the most relevant premier exclusive training  group in the country right now i mean you guys are   definitely the most relevant and uh up to speed  fresh out and from tier one unit so that means   a lot thanks yeah so uh if you haven't checked  out gbrs group check them out um so who do you   when you guys are hiring are you only hiring seals  you're only hiring tier one or tier one get a   couple air force guys we've worked with a couple  guys from the army side call in and bring some   favors and some some niche stuff we got a couple  long range guys and we pull in we need to and   now we have a full-time recce guy for chris so you  know cqb's bread and butter but i'm not afraid to   branch out but yeah it's got to be the tier one  resume cool what are you guys teaching are you   teaching well last night at dinner we were kind of  talking about it it was private lessons it sounds   like groups all the way up to swat yeah i mean  we do everything military local law enforcement   got a couple government contracts stuff like  that and then the civilian market the open   enrollment stuff scared us it did after the  chris kyle thing especially yeah um a lot of   people on the yard line a lot of people brand  new to guns a lot of people that really want to   shoot somebody really want to become famous  and there was no real good way to vet them   unless you do private so we do phone calls talk  to them for an hour and then we google search   the [ __ ] out of them you gotta do a little bit  of vetting yeah and set up a call with those guys   and if they have five or six friends of all equal  skill set or the same in state then we'll set up a   separate training event we'll drive down there  we'll fly in bring them up to us and kind of do   everything cool and you guys are based out of  virginia beach and we've got a gym there got   kitchen showers kill house got everything what  no [ __ ] damn how long you been doing that almost two years now two years yep maybe started  at 19. damn well it looks like it's uh online   looking in you know from the outside looks like  it's exploding so that's awesome congratulations   i appreciate it but uh well before we get started  i always give everybody a gift there you go jesus there we go merry christmas somebody must have told you dude i mean you talked about did you say how much i ate  this [ __ ] what's that should tell you how much   candy i eat dude i do man i have a sweet tooth  bro thank you really yeah yeah we talked about   the gummy bear stuff last night i love it  um yeah so before we get started uh i have a   subscription account and uh as much as i'd love  to tell everybody that gummy bears finances   everything that's going on here uh really it's my  patrons on patreon uh that support the show that's   how you're able to sit here how i'm here how all  this was built and uh so one of the things i do   for them uh is i tell them who's coming on before  they get here and uh i let them you know comment   and a bunch of questions and then i pick one uh  to ask so this is from will on patreon uh to you   he says i know his company does a lot  for gold star families and i'm sure he's   experienced his fair share of losing friends  either through physical or mental combat   would he be willing to give any advice  on how he deals with these feelings that's the first one that's that's that's the only  one i'm going to give you it's no softballs okay how i deal with it personally yeah we get a lot of questions on how to deal with  loss and uh i've done some videos on it and   and it's just everybody's always  curious you know how guys like   me or you and and our colleagues deal with that  get through it you know each one's different   um for me for the longest time i just ignored  override i just compartmentalized everything   didn't happen to me it's not me i don't have  to worry about it yeah it's easier just to uh not accept it to be reality when you do a dangerous job long enough it'll  eventually get you yeah unless you're fortunate   enough to retire um you can't let it can't let  that be your defining moment almost like you're   waiting for it to happen the gold star thing  happens you do a dangerous job firemen police   military doesn't matter we all have our gold star  community people that die in the line of service and for me it's uh it's a show of their loyalty  like i want to see how far they'll go they just   showed you they just went the whole way  like what an honor to be part of that   organization where people will give up their  lives for people they've never even met like   that's how i process now when i see it i see  the families it hurts it sucks yeah there's   so many dudes i mess you know you're at harry  seed are buying groceries and i look over and   there's a whole family damn yeah  the two platoons with her husband   what do you say go and give him a hug  and pretend like it's okay it's not okay   but they did exactly what they  wanted to do yeah at that moment like   he was right where he wanted to be surrounded with  the best people on earth duty loved um dudes he   would gladly die for and they got the opportunity  to show how committed they were to cause   so i honor their sacrifice now it took me a long  time to get there but that's what i do now i just   honor them good for you man that's a great answer  um you know i think uh a lot of people experience   loss and one thing i always tell them is you know  you have to you know it's good to mourn but um   you got to think of how that person would want you  to live you know and i don't think that anybody   that i know and i'm sure anybody that you know  wants you moping around for the rest of your life   uh because they died doing what they want to do  and uh so it's always good to keep that in mind   but well great answer so let's get on with it   um so we're gonna just start with childhood  and go down a timeline of kind of uh your   all the way up until now but you've been  surrounded and by the seal teams your   entire life you're born into it your dad was a  seal several family members of yours are seals   and then you wound up joining at a very young age  but let's just start right at the very beginning   with some of the childhood stuff what was it  like you know growing up with your dad being   an operational seal going on deployments all  the time and uh and that's a that's a very   high standard to live up to  as a kid so let's start that so yeah um when my dad graduated buds i was my  mom was six months pregnant so he checked in   team one she gave birth to me and i essentially  grew up in a platoon hut he was the only guy   who had a kid at the time so basically got raised  by wolves which was cool um we transitioned we   moved over the east coast um like 89 like i was  young for i don't remember anything started up   school typical stuff but he was gone the entire  time um from the time he went to the east coast   i forget what the rotations were back then  i mean they were six eight month deployments   and he did eight of them back to back so i mean he  was gone yeah gone 200 300 days out of the year i   mean you remember the work up schedule you've  gone a lot grew up on a small farm five acres   but god man we had everything chickens ducks geese  guinea hens pheasants quail raised chesapeake bay   retrievers cows horses everything um and i'd  take care of it all slopping hogs at five a.m   um hot water heater blows out pipes freeze like  the whole thing it's like i remember doing that my entire life just dealing with the farm  life and then he'd come back home we'd go   hunting and he was like now looking back  on it's kind of surreal um it was awesome   it was great like you're dead superman yeah how  [ __ ] cool is that but back in the 90s like   you remember nobody knew what a navy seal  was no one so like my dad was in the navy   your dad's in the army it doesn't really  matter nobody gets it as we started coming   up you know charlie sheen and that whole thing  like people started no but nobody really knew   there wasn't a war going on it was um it  was 80s and 90s small little skirmishes but   um losing people in combat wasn't a thing  we never had to live through it it didn't   happen it'd be a training accident  every now and then and that was it so yeah i kind of went through  that whole thing found my outlets   um because i spent a lot of time alone you  know me and my mom had my sister growing up and   your sister older or younger younger five years um  so yeah it was kind of just three of us living on   that farm making things happen he'd come back home  and gear up for another deployment we kind of just   picked up where we left off you know but it  was weird like people who uh who aren't in   the special operations community or don't know  anybody like that they think when your dad's uh   in the military it's i don't like gunny highway  like flat top haircuts and yes sir no sir my dad   treated me like i was a new guy really yeah like  we were we were best friends we were like that's   who i wanted to be well when did you at what point  did you know you wanted to become a team guy um it was always just assumed and it was always  said like we were always doing something   like when i'd have friends come over and  stay the night we wouldn't do typical things   we would do uh we'd do a physical challenge   so we would run out we'd pick up ten logs we'd  throw it over here we'd run back ten push-ups   do five pull-ups run over here we'd do like an  oat course like a circuit and if i didn't win better win it was one of those things so he's  always kind of assumed and then when i hit   skateboarding that's all i wanted to do i was  addicted man i bought in hook line and sinker   i lived in the middle of nowhere in chesapeake  virginia and we had a little cul-de-sac next door   some older kids skating i kind of got in that  and when he would leave on deployment i'd have   six months of no interruptions i'd knock  out chores and straight over there that's   all i did all day i obsessed damn started  competing and that's what i wanted to do   you started competing yeah well like the half pipe  and now i did street um he built me a big vert   ramp in the backyard so we did the whole thing  um wrote it all but i really like street park   um and that was kind of the punishment i'd get  hurt you broke your arm they're not gonna let you   a navy you can't be a seal if you get a plate and  screws they're not going to take you you're going   to ruin your entire life overriding the skateboard  no [ __ ] so it really was just assumed you're oh   you're a [ __ ] team guy oh absolutely you know i  didn't know any better i didn't care yeah i mean   i remember um i think like middle school i  remember talking to my mom one day and i was like would dad be upset if i became a veterinarian  because i love animals i do i really like dogs   like a kind of a weird obsession but a healthy one  i like dogs more than people and i wanted to be a   vet and um it was kind of just pushed off like  why would you want to be a vet and you can be a   navy seal true everyone so quickly dismissed  you can't be a professional skateboarder you   can't be a veterinarian you could be a navy seal  um some things kind of fell into place that uh   forced it hand a little sooner  than probably it should have yeah   you talk about uh being addicted to the pressure  to perform uh during your childhood and then   and then you kind of talk about it again uh  later on and i think when you got to dev group   but what what were you addicted to performing  to when you were a kid what pressure was it   to your dad yeah um and there's all kinds of  pressure but for me i wanted praise and this   long analogy i get into where i equate everybody  to a certain type of dog that dog's up bringing   um and i'm a labrador i am i just want a people  please just bounce that tennis ball on the ground   let me go chase it i'll do whatever you want to  just pet me on the head at the end of the day   and that's all i wanted i just wanted him to  acknowledge me that's all i wanted it's like   i'm not good in school like we go and we hunt  and i shoot everything like i get a good boy   doing that but i didn't enjoy it i didn't i  did it because it was a thing to do with him   i don't care what we did if that dude would have  been a fly fisherman i'd be fly fishing like i   didn't care i just wanted to be next to him but  i didn't enjoy hunting i didn't send him a deer   stand i didn't get it yeah i mean i shot him went  duck hunting snow goose on him and i had a blast   but if you ask me what i want to do at 4 30  in the morning it wasn't go shoot snoogies   not back then i wish he just would have wanted to  do anything so yeah but the yeah the pressure to   perform everything became a competition and  then i just started competing at everything   not good things yeah you know doing  young childhood stuff yeah so you join   you join at 17 years old yeah i got into a  little bit of trouble when i was 16 and um long story short had to go to court and uh  the old man threw me at the mercy of the court   and said um your honor he he can't be charged  with this you know we have to get this off his   record because he's going to go to the navy  and he's going to be a navy seal what was it   um it was a an assault charge  with a robbery with a robbery me and uh meet a bunch of my buddies got  into a fight and in the course of the fight   reached into um somebody's jacket and  grabbed her phone and spiked it on the ground   and because the dollar amount associated  because it was physical altercation   it became robbery and his parents wanted  to press charges make it a big deal   um at the end of the day we bought him a  cell phone and he got expunged off my record   um i mean it came up years later but yeah i mean  so i had to get a waiver for that i had to get an   age waiver underage possession tobacco so i had  a bunch of waivers going in um which wasn't good   um didn't really help my case and the judge  looked at me and deal community service and   let me leave and uh i didn't realize at  the time but he had already gone to school   and talked my guidance counselors on my principles  and had signed me up for summer school so that was my uh my sophomore year going into my junior  year and it already signed me up so the end of   my junior year i graduate or we finish that year  in june and i basically do summer school until   august and then i'm gone already had me signed  up for delayed entry program everything like i   was going to the navy damn like there wasn't any  doubt about it yeah no seal contract no a school   nothing undesignated send it so how the hell did  you get the bud zone if there was no contract   i passed a screen test to boot camp  that's it i didn't realize how um   i didn't realize how dangerous a maneuver that  was like my entire career for the people who don't   know if you don't have a seal contract i tell  people do not go to maps do not sign that contract   because now they own you yeah and they do if  i would have gotten sick if um if the whole   class would have gotten the flu and they just  don't give you the screen test i'm going to the   fleet for four years like that's a long way  to get back from yeah um no a school so if i   didn't make it through buds i was going to be a  deck seam and be a bosun's mate i didn't get in   i already had a trident i didn't have a  rating damn yeah so uh just for the audience   that they don't know what the hell in a school is  in a school basically um i kind of describe it as   it's almost a marketing play of  the teams like they need seals but   so many people quit that what they do is they  find all the jobs in the navy that have a shortage   most of them are the ones you have to be either  really intelligent to get into or the complete   [ __ ] jobs and uh it's kind of a mixed bag of  nuts there you pick one you go through this the   training you go to buds uh whatever 80 85 people  quit and then they fill those job descriptions   so so you didn't have any a school you went right  into you went right from boot camp to bud so were   you 17 when you got to buds no [ __ ] yeah he  um he was getting retired so the way we did it   is he retired i think on the same day that  i became active we did a one-for-one swap   we have the exact same name he's a junior  i'm the third and we just swapped him   so he pulled strings um i graduated boot camp i  came back to little creek i was a white shirt a   little scruff roll back waiting for my bud's  class yeah did that for three months and flew   out to california with a sea bag and sent it  i didn't have a car i didn't have a driver's   license the entire time i was back i didn't have  anything like i didn't i didn't know anything   like my senior year i was in buds i knew nothing  i didn't know anything i didn't have a cell phone   had nothing i just sent it so you grew up in the  teams yeah oh you take me on training trips it   was a blast i got the ap hill for the demo courses  and a bunch of the guys i worked with later in the   teams i remember them when they were new guys and  they remember me damn that's crazy being out there   taking a skateboard out of ap hill and doing kick  flips over cases of beer for the guys and yeah   oh dude like we did the whole thing i'm  like my childhood was [ __ ] awesome   and it was like growing up in the teams it was  cool but my entire time because i never saw   the reality of war um i thought buds was i  thought that's what we were doing for for a career   because you get a team too back in the  day the rudy bosch airs and they do log bt   buddy carry ruck runs and all kinds of weird [  __ ] like it was miserable like the pt two miley   ocean swims every week like it looked like it  just continued so when we went to buds i was um   i was not i was too young to be in good shape  i was in good enough shape and i was just too   dumb to quit i didn't know any better like when  people would quit on the the very first day i   couldn't get it through my mind like this isn't  going to stop anytime soon boys and it would it   confirmed my biases when i'd look down the beach  and see seal team one doing log pt i'm like   yeah dude they're paying us to work out this is  the best thing that's ever happened to me like   i didn't care i was super human like the whole  chafing thing i didn't get it didn't bother you no   nothing when i graduated hell week my dad was uh  he was contracting then my mom flew out to pick me   up and uh she was having me take pictures um it's  a famous photo they've got that uh they've got   that um that blood's class book they did the only  easy days yesterday that's on my bud's class you   can see a bunch of pictures of me in there and my  mom came to pick me up we had to spend 24 hours in   the barracks and then you could go out in town and  do whatever um my mom would take a bunch of photos   do all this and i missed the bus back  to the barracks like that that 500 yards   and i sprinted the whole way back there barefoot  went back to my room and checked in and um   dude it was probably 8 a.m the next morning  mom took out a bunch of boys out for murray   calendars breakfast did the whole thing uh the  whole den mother and then made me go run the o   course so she could take pictures of my dad oh  [ __ ] yeah man when i ran a full low course   when you got the buds i mean probably  everybody over there knew your dad right   a bunch of the cadre did my um i guess  kind of my quasi godfather was the exo at   group one time so he picked me up and actually  walked me through the quarter deck and it started   a bunch of the uh bunch of guys were old team two  dudes so they already know full benefit oh yeah   yeah full bending how about everybody around you  were they getting full benefit because you do   yeah um yeah they did but a lot of it was just  isolation which is fine how many times how many   guys did you start with do you remember i'll mess  a number up um i mean i thought it was in the 200s   yeah it was it was a ton um i started with 246  and i got rolled graduated with 247 and i think   20 originals something like that wouldn't many  yeah if you had to pick one portion of buds uh   who was your hardest claw was it second phase  pool comp qualcomm i got ruled for that um just bad advice yeah bad advice i am i mean when  you do it you have to do a bunch of sequences   um you know they hit you with the  whammy knot they do the whole thing   um it's a whole series of procedures you have to  exactly correct and the advice that i was given   was they just want to see you not panic they  want to see you calm cool and collected don't   get wrapped over the procedures just show  them they are not going to rattle you done   and i went down they smashed me and  i didn't do basically any of those   procedures they completely flustered me i did  it everything i could do and then i came up fail   there's one same thing happened again it  was a the final check was a j-val flick   that was the final thing and i kept messing it  i was just overcome by events um i let them ride   on my cage and they did yeah got rolled back  the next year or the next class a couple weeks   but it was what i needed i needed it so you graduate and you head over to team 10. yeah  we um finished that buds we all went out to kodiak   alaska for winter warfare training and at the  very end of that they asked for 10 volunteers   to deploy early with team 10. it was a weird cycle  everybody was getting kind of messed up and they   needed people to go right now i think you were  giving guys a month off in between getting your   trident and checking the team so guys wanted to  go home they wanted to see wives and see moms and   all that stuff and nope every dude in that  class under 19 years old's hand rocketed in   the air as fast as they could no [ __ ] so they  had to everybody they had to make a decision   mm-hmm everybody we had a so cole um he had  orders of team one we already knew we were going   he had orders to team one he traded in  the middle of our class to go to team 10.   he was from virginia beach and he was big in the  surfing and he wanted to stay out there and um   i guess he'd want to break up the  bromance so yeah he swamped right there   oh [ __ ] yeah we drove straight across  um how did they pick the 10 guys volunteer   so there was only 10 volunteers they needed 10  people and yeah volunteered did you know you were   going to war oh yeah for sure they told you yeah i  mean there was no uh at team 10 they weren't doing   um a uconn rotation anymore yeah there was a it  was men manning i think we only had two groups   we had one going to afghanistan and one going to  iraq that's what you know yeah so yeah well before   we get into that deployment let's take a quick  break when we come back we'll pick up there cool what's going on patreon join me on vigilance elite patreon  for our live video teleconference all right so we're back you just graduated skt  you volunteered to go to war show up to team 10   and you're 19 years old on your  first deployment to iraq how was that um humbling yeah was there any before we  get into that was there did you mesh with   did you have any time with your platoon before  you went out the door or did you just show up and   it's like hey guess what i graduated early and uh  i'll be uh heading out the door with you tomorrow   we showed up in um don't quote me exactly i think  we showed up in august and we deployed in march so   a little bit a couple months um we got to  the major blocks we got cqb land warfare um   missed all the pro dev so didn't wasn't one of  the guys went to sniper school or any of his new   guys so no new guy schools at all they gave us um  hazmat demo driver which i couldn't do because i   didn't have a driver's license um you had to be 25  so i couldn't do that i couldn't get a rental car   um yeah it was basically just the that was like  the lowest life form on earth but we had uh we   had nine new guys and nine old guys so it was good  man the mesh was good the learning curve was high   um the standard in that platoon was extremely  high but it should have been i'm glad it was   now i didn't understand the time i thought  they were being dicks just be dicks yeah um   but if i could done it all over again  i wish i would paid attention more   a lot of that um a lot of that resistance came um  from feeling like i was already part of it because   i'd been born into it um so it was hard for me  to let go of you know a little bit of arrogance   i'm sure um the fact that i knew everybody  like i already knew them like the cmc was   my dad's best friend i've known him my entire  life damn so it's it's weird to see him in the   hallway like hey master chief didn't see him  on the weekend like hey matthew you know what   i mean what was your dad thinking did what was  his reaction that you recall right after that   19. i mean he was happy for me was he yeah he's  pretty stoked about it interesting yeah i mean um you could tell he was nervous until my mom was  really nervous um i mean iraq in 2004 or five being shot never entered my mind  like navy seals hadn't been shot   that's not a thing like we're good it happened  sporadically nobody's died yet not in iraq   it was the ideas we were worried about it was  like they were hitting them all day every day so   when we got there i mean that was pretty surreal  like flying in you know take off 19 years old and   you know you're on a c-17 getting  ready to land and people start you   know two hours out they're breaking the no  vans body armor helmet nods loading guns i've never deployed apparently this is completely  normal like we landed like we were going to   be under fire the entire time like you had no  idea and when i mean now that you've deployed   you open it up and there's a guy with a flatbed  pulling off isu 90s like i thought we would be   shot down like the way they were flying in it  was crazy um everybody's getting sick just um   it was early in the war it was a  different environment no one had any um   any real combat experience yeah even the older  guys in the platoon had been to afghanistan but   it was more of um the presence patrols it wasn't  sustained combat they hadn't had it before so we   were all kind of new guys together where were  you guys uh baghdad baghdad yeah so we uh we   split we did psd for a little bit and then  um we do two weeks of that to doing the um all the dignitaries in iraq real  quick psd's personal security detail   so a lot of teams were doing that for the  iraqi government officials yeah it was a way to   way to stay busy way to be employed  like hey if we if they have to put   us here for this maybe they'll let us do  da's too so we had a strike force set up and because i was so young i mean a lot of the  new guys got pushed over to the strike force   if they didn't want a 19 year old kid standing in  front of cnn you know driving around the president   of iraq or whatever else we were doing um so i  was lucky in that sense i got to go over with   we did a weird conglomerate with team 10 and team  four from the east coast we all deployed together   in the same compound and i think we had five and  seven the same thing so we were just overflowed   with people so we got to work with everybody  it was pretty cool so what were you guys doing   then if you weren't on the psd team doing raids  raids yeah i'm just streaming what are you doing   um a couple of weeks a couple of weeks yeah um  you know four or five like staying busy they   um but they were all mobility packages we'd  pull out of that base and there was no armor   um there was no uh no armor and turret  gunner so i'd rocked a 50 up front um   and it was bad man like we uh you just  see the rubble on the side of the road   expecting to hit one you just wouldn't and we  make it through and you come back you're like   okay gotta get some pancakes here we  go we gotta make it back we drive back   and nothing would happen like every day  was a breath hold just wait and get hit   you'd hear that sig axe would get reported all  the significant activity all the ids that were   hit the day before it's the same route in and  out you have to drive there to start everything   it's like you know marine convoy here army convoy  there 10 people killed here god like when is   this going to happen and because a curfew was so  strict that time you never saw anybody we didn't   do anything during the day so at night i mean i  didn't see in iraqi and actual local for months   no [ __ ] no not until we started doing da's we  just didn't it'd be a couple dry holes here like   are there people in this country like where  are they the curfew was so stringent right then   you didn't see them and then all of a sudden  you got on a good target set now there's a   bunch of people out you know you're like okay  this is it it's weird man like iraq was a weird   animal especially then being so young just not  really knowing um like the training i felt uh   the training was good but the mindset wasn't like  i had no idea mentally how to prepare for that i   just didn't it's like we're doing land warfare in  you know arkansas i don't know what that has to   do with driving around iraq right now like yeah  i'm really good at running a saw in a 60 like   but we're gonna get blown up right now  yeah i mean uh target discrimination   you'd see people on a rooftop ski mask  carrying discus or you know pks whatever   are they good are they bad are we gonna shoot  these people like don't fire until you're fired   upon and they wouldn't shoot at you are they  good he's like ah sometimes neighborhood watch   that's a lot of pressure on a 19 year old  kid to not shoot a dude with a pk like you   want me to wait until he shoots me that's  kind of a weird thing to say but damn no well then how far so so we're your first  deployment and the biggest loss since still team   history happens yeah man so we're in the compound  um everybody was there um four ten five seven   we're all in there we've got a centralized jock  and you guys never came to the jock we just didn't   you stayed out of it we stayed in our own little  bat cave doing new guy stuff but i remember i was   walking back from the gym one night and the double  doors open and it was a huge um tv screens you   know typical jock cinematic screens all over the  place and uh this frantic oh stuck his head out   and grabbed me he goes you would seal team 10.  and i said yeah and he goes go get you oh i see   right now and i looked over his shoulder and  i saw what looked to be the side of a mountain   and a big smoldering thing sitting on it and  i ran back out there and i grabbed him as fast   as i could and told everybody all the new guys  stayed put and all the old guys ran into the jock   and it only took a couple minutes and you could  hear it um you could hear grown men wailing and   they knew like i got goosebumps thinking about  it [ __ ] man you didn't know so i was supposed   to be an echo with him i was and my lpo of golf  platoon pulled me out because he knew my dad so   i was supposed to be in afghanistan and now i'm in  iraq but all of our best friends that volunteered   all went to echo platoon and echo platoon is on  deployment in afghanistan so i think all of our   best friends are dead we think everybody's on  the same bird and they're all dead right now   and we hear nothing for like two weeks you  didn't hear anything for two [ __ ] weeks nothing   everything converged in afghanistan and they  put us on river city and we heard nothing i saw pictures of dead guys in the gym when  it came out in navy times yeah we didn't   know anything we didn't have email accounts back  then like we weren't it wasn't like you were on   some secure access like you didn't you didn't  get anything they shut down the phones and um when the cmc finally came in he briefed  on the entire thing and they broad brush   the actual ground element i didn't find out  about marcus latrell and all of those people   for months later i never heard the story um he  was so overtaken by the helo going down that   marcus who like i had no idea never even  heard that story um he came in and i remember   asking him um everybody walked away and i  grabbed him it's like your new guy's dead   he said nope and it was a sigh of relief  selfishly because the new guys are who i knew   and then i thought oh [ __ ] all of that  experience is gone right now he didn't have   a total he just said no new guys but you knew  it was an entire bird full like you knew that   it's like now the name started to come out  and i remember they uh they set us all down we were sitting down uh outside of a bunch of  trailers big gravel big uh fire pit and we put   up the proxima like typical team guys [ __ ] and  they're playing the memorial service they shot at   little creek they're playing it for everybody  and uh you know you see uh see seth lucas   coming to frame they pin his old man's award  on him and i'm [ __ ] bawling my eyes out and   it keeps going through and through and it  gets to a point um patsy gets up and speaks   on danny's behalf and i remember i said it  what the [ __ ] is an sdv2 guy doing there   and then fcv1 i'm like what the [ __ ] is  that but no one knew no one said anything   um at least not at that time it didn't make  any sense to us so they just augments or they   just yeah they're just assisting echo we  had no idea it was a qrf at least i didn't   for a long time um and then it started to come out  about the lone survivor and everything else and we   started to piece the story back together but until  i was in back at stateside mid-second deployment   or mid-second workup 2006 i finally heard the  story from someone who was there i had no idea   they um yeah that helo was the only thing that  mattered like that was that was our entire world   did that um because we were right around the same  age that time when i was into and uh did that   did that hit you like did the magnitude of what  happened actually hit you being that young and you   didn't know anybody you know you didn't know those  guys i didn't know them either no it didn't hit me   no the old guys i didn't know um i mean you knew  some of them um got really tight with their wives   afterwards all the kids obviously um but no like  they were uh you were playing chief equipped and   i don't know you yeah but i'm not in ecclestone  um known for reputation stuff like that but   at that time there's no way you  could understand the magnitude   of what that did with community  yeah talk about a dose of reality   that's reality like that's what you're doing yeah  like these people are actively trying to kill you   it's like like to me it wasn't it wasn't real yet  it was like a cowardice thing like oh yeah they   playing ieds like this and that but team guys  weren't getting shot like they weren't dying   they had a couple random ones but not  like that not like that yeah it's like   seals don't die like that like you can't  just take out that many it's not a thing   so yeah heavy dose reality on the way  back but yeah the magnitude wasn't   probably until extortion actually no that  long yeah it didn't hit me until i got we   relieved those guys over there and uh it didn't  it didn't really sink in until we started seeing   some of the intel reports and they were i  remember uh i was with a good friend of mine   sitting next to him and they it was shown they  were showing deets on there and he just started   [ __ ] crying and he uh they were stripping his  clothes off and he was like i remember when he   got that [ __ ] tattoo on his rib cage and i  was like oh this is [ __ ] the real deal but um yeah yeah man it's real deal like there's some  evil people on this earth really committed to   the cause yeah i mean yeah it's really  hard to train for that scenario though   it's like how good everybody was on that hilo like  they were all bad [ __ ] dude they were awesome   and it didn't matter it's like god if you  just wouldn't let him sit on the ground and   then ambushed him like some cowards that [ __ ]  yeah like yeah like war's not fair i think that   was the lesson learned out of that doesn't  matter how good you are if you don't get the   the chance to fight the chance to show  how good you are doesn't matter yeah yeah   let's take another quick break we'll come  back we'll uh get into your second deployment all right dj so we're back from your first  deployment and it's 2007 i think you're 22   years old now and you're getting ready to go back  to iraq again for a second time and uh you found   yourself in somewhat of a historic firefight uh  that's been talked about a lot so um i'd love   to get your take on what happened and and how  that deployment went um yeah kind of leading up   to that um and we'll kind of segue back to it we  um on our turnover up when we first flew in there   the so we had our our platoon our sister  platoon and we had a we were leaving seal   team four so that was my day's platoon so our  turnover out with our sister platoon is when   mike dave's incident happened he got shot 27 times  [ __ ] that's how we kicked off the deployment   that's how it started mm-hmm [ __ ] hey man so we  had one of the guys in the systemation got shot   got medically retired took a a crazy round through  the arm and it um had a bunch of nerve damage and   balled his hand up he's out and he was one  of our corpsmen too he's an awesome dude   so we automatically lost him and we basically  just combined forces were you on that operation   i wasn't that was our sisterable tune and it  was one of the handover offs um so it was team   four heavy and then a little bit of team 10 um  you know the hq element a couple of senior guys   just to see how they did business these what the  routes are like just what the target sets like   and it just so happened they were going after um  an aq cell that had just shot down a marine helo   so they had all their guns had their body armor  had helmets had night vision had the whole thing   [ __ ] so we kind of rode that wave pretty  much the whole deployment it was super busy   a different area working for uh working for the  west coast um teams so it was great we were busy   like super busy and it it felt like how i  thought it would feel really yeah like this   is what you envision when you're you know like  even um even some of the animosity stuff like um   we'd go to the chow hall and they'd [ __ ]  about it because we'd come in wearing tank   tops and now you gotta wear like even the stuff  we would complain about it made you feel like   i feel like a navy seal now yeah like i feel  like i'm in a strike force like this is how it's   supposed to feel like we're gelling we're going  out every night like this is this is what it is   but the reality hasn't set in yet on  what we're actually doing because it   hasn't happened to you yet so it's  not it's not a real thing yeah um   a couple months in that deployment we're we're  steady um engaging with the enemy it's fine um   and one night we go out and we're in a really  bad um in a really bad section where were you   guys at um just outside of fallujah but we were  operating this little town called karma okay   and it was good but um a lot of palm groves  a lot of a lot of nasty [ __ ] out there we   just we were not trained to do so kind of  coming to play later about our inexperience   um but one night we we do an offset in phil we're  patrolling a target and we get about 200 meters   out and you could see the entire posture shift  of everybody in that assault force everybody   switched you could smell it like this is a [ __  ] ambush like it just is walking down the road   the houses we were walking past like you just you  were waiting it was a breath hold the entire way   um and i say that because people started doing  things they've never done before the pace they   were moving we've never moved to that pace before  um when we would um when we would do patrolling   and training like there's a lack of daisical  patrol and there's a patrol to contact like   we're gonna get hit right now everybody  was in patrol to contact mode like it's   happening right now you're waiting for trader  to throw rd sims and kick the whole thing off   like it was it's right there and i remember  the last 50 feet sprinting to the building they   had a big overhang and we've been getting isr  updates there's multiple guys on the roof okay   so as we patrol up there's a bunch of  guys in the courtyard of this and it's a   it's an iranian influence so that we're kind  of going after now and they fight completely   different we locked down some guys on these um on  these sleepers on our courtyard and we we maneuver   up um made silent entry we go in we're doing our  whole clearance and i bolt straight for the stairs   um it's a huge open room um i don't know how to  describe it um just a huge open room with little   offshoot bedrooms made no sense to be a house  it was like a structure um and they had a a   two-tier landing that came up and banked and then  it basically just opened into the roof just a an   opening in the middle of the roof and you walked  up and you're surrounded 360 720 by the roof stacked up the train got right there right  at the last little breach of it so about   this high underneath it and uh i stood up  and threw on my laser and there was a dude   sprinting at me at full blast with a pistol  in his hand and unloaded six shots at me   no [ __ ] yeah so he unloaded um i unloaded  on him got off three rounds in a boat lock   so dropped to my knees and we called  xville ran around the back everybody   got their guns up and running and  grenades started coming off the roof so in rally what happened is so hold on did you  eliminate the threat yep he's dead mm-hmm did   he he didn't hit you he did he did hit  you he hit me in the in the chest plate   in uh one of the magazines so pistol caliber  like a 45 dead center i mean dead center   um so snack me there which i don't know how we  did it with a downward angle because that was   presented so blind luck snapping the plates  were good i don't know where the other five   went i don't know how they didn't hit anybody  else um but i mean he was probably within   six feet and he was there what you didn't  realize um and the isr update we did not get   is he was standing at the base of stairs waiting  they never told us that he's standing there   waiting for us to come up and there is a another  shooter in a sandbag position with a belt fed a pk   aimed at top of the stairs and he's pulled off a  suicide vest and laid it at the base of the stairs   and pulled back a command wire and you can see him  he's holding it he's waiting to clack it off and   we never know so if i would have made entry if  i shot that dude and would have continued to go   that guy would cut me in half so just blind luck  that i got bolt lock and i'm forced to retreat   so we start trading grenades on the roof back  and forth a bunch of different maneuver elements   are happening we've got three or four guys that  are fragged from the grenades our chief included   you corman our terp our jtac to a bunch of guys not bad but bad enough  i mean your first time being wounded like um   takes you by surprise like your  wounded eagle it's like oh no   like how bad you actually think the worst um  but we had to win the fight so we're trading   grenades on the roof we're doing that whole  thing and um one of the guys wanted to send   a one of the names from the courtyard he grabs him  perfect english um he's like i know who that is oh yeah he's like it's my cousin tells  him again like send that dude up there   and tell him to tell his cousin to come  down here like we don't know who's up there   the slant was really weird that night with  how many women and kids were supposed to be   there was bad intel he was kind of just  hodge-podge and we sent that dude back   up there and he's calling out to his cousin  you know whatever he's saying whatever he's   saying he got halfway up the stairs and  poked his head up and that dude let it go killed his own cousin and here we go more  grenades are coming off the roof um so the   whole force now we're basically locked down inside  of this building and grenades are coming off we   don't know how many dudes are on the roof and now  there's multiple maneuver elements of bad guys in   and around the city we have to fall back now um  we have super badass new guy posted up with a saw   basically everybody wants that opportunity  rocked the front of this building so we can all   run underneath it that dude stepped out and just  sent it we all ran back and um we got our first   fire mission in like a first like no ship fire  mission yeah so um that was cool i didn't know um   i've been hit yet you didn't know you've been hit  yet i had no idea we uh i kept having a bolt lock   so i'd fire three rounds bolt lock i dumped  out a mag grabbed a new one and when i did   it cut my fingers so where the round hit it it  had blown out the back of it a big spider web   so when i grabbed it it filled my hands open  so i dropped the mag and grabbed a new one   got the gun back up and running and for whatever  reason i grabbed it off the ground and put it in   my back pocket i don't know why i didn't i  just i did it um so we got back on the helo   we're flying out after that whole thing um we  got all the medevac guys out they were fine   minimal injuries nothing crazy um we're flying  back on the hilo and i'm sitting next to uh   the jay redman and i held up the mag and i'm  looking i'm trying to focus it with my nods   back and forth and i don't  know what it is like it never   it never entered my conscious thought that i  took around there yeah i didn't know what it was   put it back in my pocket and we get back to the  ready room and we're going in for the debrief   and i dropped my gear and i looked at it and  it still in disbelief what the [ __ ] is that   and i hand it to one of the other guys  and he's like that's a [ __ ] bullet dude oh sh that is a bullet that is a bullet dead  center um but it's weird when you look at the   bullet and the angle it came into um we did  a lot of breaching back then we land a lot   i used to run around with the charges captain  and i had them all capped in and i had   my primary charges and a pouch right there and  it nicked the edge of the pouch where the caps   were exposed to so obviously if it would have hit  that blasting cap that would have been a whole   damn that'd been a bad day so for the audience  just real quick i'm just going to interrupt   uh when he's talking about the caps being exposed  basically a breaching charge is a bomb you know   that they use to blow a door blow a hole in the  wall blow whatever up and uh the blasting caps are   extremely sensitive so if that would have hit one  of those uh it would have been the end of the road   for you mm-hmm yeah we were running on big charges  we blew everything um we blew everything that was   the sop back then if you could uh you could blow  it you blew it so you didn't even [ __ ] feel you   didn't feel the fact that you got [ __ ] pegged by  a 45 in the chestplate so thinking back on it um the guys behind me said they saw me like take  a reflex i didn't feel the next morning um when   i stood up and i arched back it felt like i  did too many sit-ups like sore and sternum   um kind of hard to take a full breath but  nothing like would you imagine like i imagine   i would have known instantly like oh my god  i didn't the adrenaline was so high that   that's kind of what we use for like a training  analogy now like when that adrenaline dumps   you won't know yeah you won't know like in  approximately a gunfight that is that close when   you see muscle flash and you feel it it's very  different it's not being shot after 300 meters   it's not uh it's not hitting the wall inside  of six feet it's a very different experience   yeah no i've never been shot i don't know you  know what that feels like but i always imagined it   would uh knock you on your [ __ ] ass damn luckily  it didn't yeah no [ __ ] so yeah we got through   that one that was like reality is set in though  and it's like okay all the stuff in training now   now everything is slowed down the cqb is super  crisp now it's all real world we're very current   and it's good like business is great  we're going out every night every   other night we've got assets it's like it's  awesome as good as it ever could have been and we go back this is um to the firefight  you were referencing was uh the one with   jay redmond and those guys um that was september  10th um so almost on the anniversary and uh everything that could have gone wrong went  wrong but in a positive way um zero lume   there wasn't an ounce of moonlight out nothing  and for the guys that don't run around with night   vision um those things aren't perfect they're not  man you don't have any ambient light out there   like they don't work very well they just don't  so we were going back to the exact same spot two   houses down from where that thing happened so we  called it the karma house the bad karma here we go   and we're going to land on the axe   we're going to blow the front door and take this  thing down hard that's what we did back then   um so flying helos right to the front  door and this is what we're doing   and we knew from past experiences exactly what  kind of resistance we were going to meet and we   planned for the worst like i went in on that thing  completely knowing in that first room i was going   to get shot damn like they had belt feds they  had suicide vests like these guys are committed   for sure if we go in right now that first room  is going to be sketchy and we landed on the axe   and we ran through that thing like we've done a  million other times and there was no one there   dry hole and we get an update that all those guys  had left and it ran out the back and now they are   an adjacent essentially a corn field but if  you imagine um imagine an endless field of   nothing just a plowed feel and then right in the  middle of it is about 500 yards of six foot tall i don't know what you call it it's like straw  but it's not i mean you can't see anything   um and they're trying to walk us down on top  of this guy so we all switch over it's um like six or seven of us and we all get  online and we're all starting to walk down   um we've all switched over to  fires and we're listening and   two of the new guys and one of the eod  guys had not switched over to fires   they were we literally interlocked arms that's  how bad it was you couldn't see [ __ ] we couldn't   lose anybody inside there um we'd never walked  the palm groves before we didn't have a dog   we didn't have the experience and looking back on  is one of the most dangerous things i've ever done   because you knew the guy in there had a gun like  for sure you knew that uh they run around with s   vest and you know they're committed so now we  are walking on there so if you imagine just a   a big open field with a big sparkle in the  center of it and we're gonna walk towards it   and we're gonna walk until we find  this guy okay so we do completely   committed interlocked arms and we are walking  forward and we're getting the updates 15 feet ten feet you're standing on him and you see everybody looking  down like he's not here   third person from the right you are standing on  him and we all look over to the right nothing like   what the [ __ ] so we're all on a line standing  right there and jay calls an audible he's like   whole maneuver element take a right-hand  turn because we know there's an open field   we just have to cross and now it's completely  open now we can re-gather our [ __ ] and we can   assault from this side if it's walking through  all this all this crazy brush we can approach it   from the open side and just walk in the brush a  little bit maybe call him out do something else   and when we turn right this element  stayed they didn't get the word   so now we have a bad guy our element and then  another element now we're in a polish ambush   we turn we walk out and we enter this beautiful  manicured open field there's not an ounce of   cover anywhere in it there's not a rut there's  nothing there's not a rock there's a single tire   and it's about 20 feet yeah 30 feet from the  edge of the uh from the edge of the brush line   it's just out there and we're standing there in  a team guy gaggle standing around like wondering   what the [ __ ] is this guy really there is it a  dog is it some animal like these guys are clearly   lost and we don't realize that that bad guy is in  there probably six feet inside and he's looking at   us and we're from the middle of the wall and we're  close we're having a full-on conversation and   um at one point we're trying to relay to the  other guys because now we know we've lost three   now they're lost in brush country and we have to  reconsolidate them so we can deal with this guy   because now we know the reality we've turned the  entire profile blue forces bad guy blue forces   we've got all the rest of the guys over here on on  the west side and now we're trying to do a link up   like we have to get them around to reconsolidate  with us um the blue force pitcher and knowing   where everybody is um it's challenging  at times but you really have to know then   we basically walked right up to the edge it's um  yeah jay's there our corpsman our terp the jtag   and a guy we'll just call matty is standing there  with me and we're all in kind of a team guy gaggle   and jay hears something in the bushes and i  think he believed at the time it was the guys   and he screamed out hey and when he did that  dude let off the biggest hollywood belt fed   burst i've ever heard everybody dropped it was  like um we do the new guys scenarios you know   you're doing land warfare the first contact and  all the headshed dies just and that you've got   to drag around like you know playing war games  that's what it was like everybody hit the deck and there was a tree probably 30 feet that way and i remember i turned i heard  it watched him drop and i was sprinting so fast to   that thing i remember the dust kicking up in front  of me when he was tracking me um i dove behind the   tree and he pounded on that tree for what seemed  like an eternity um i was on my back looking up i   mean you can imagine helmets cockeyed there's no  ambient light i can't see [ __ ] through my nods   um and there's just dirt blowing all over me  i mean i am consumed by this i don't even know   where he's at now i don't know if he's on his  feet chasing me down like i'm just overcome with   withering [ __ ] fire um and then it stops and he  pans back over and he starts to engage the dudes   um this thing goes on for um for a little bit  we're trying to reconsolidate um the jtac has went   out and he's trying to grab people now he's behind  a tire i remember looking over and seeing um   jay and i remember him sitting upright and i  watched him get shot one more time um right   in the face and it looked like that was it he  hit the ground so hard you knew he was dead um   so this inaudible has to be made we have the jtac  and behind this tractor tire that i mean it's a   it's a tractor tire it's not big  it's about that half the ground   serves no purpose and he's behind it and i'm  directly adjacent from him looking at him   like i have an out out this way we can't  because we have all these dudes that are   shot up and i remember it was like the scene from  black hawk down come to me [ __ ] you come to me   ready yup and i got up and i ran  as fast as i could and i dove   like a baseball slider and behind that thing in it  it was such a sigh of relief to feel another human   next to me um i was so thankful that he was  there and now we have to figure out how to   get out there and bring those people back here  and this whole thing's happening very very fast so jay's been shot multiple times he's  uh he's discombobulated he's talking   and this guy's still trying to shoot him  but he can't see [ __ ] because it's black   so if you're quiet he can't hear you the bravest thing i have ever seen in 17 years  happened on that night um i watched maddie get up   and run forward after he'd already been shot and  grabbed our corpsman is dragging him backwards   just like on the movies corman pulls out his  pistol and he's shooting into this bushline   um and maddie gets shot again spins him  around and dumps him he gets back up   grabs him and gets shot again dumps him he  gets back up and continued to drag him back   until we got them all back to the tractor tire  you know we're all pulling them in there we   basically just dog piled on them just plates on  plates um just trying to build up a human wall   to not let these people be shot again um and he's  still shooting us the entire time he hasn't let up   he just doesn't know where we're at now so if  we can keep everybody quiet we've got hands   over miles like people are screaming we had uh the  corman got shot through tib fib shattered his leg   matty got shot through the brachial artery hit his  humerus and shattered that and it flipped over the   back of his neck and i remember because we talked  about it later and it made sense he looked very   confused at one point um in between dragging the  corman back and he said he was looking for his arm   when it broke it snapped and went over his  neck and he looked down and just saw this   um couldn't see it um i mean there's  no moonlight you can't see anything   you can't see under nods right there it's just  gone you look down and there's a stump there   so he doesn't know he's been shot in the leg um  jason shot a leg in the um in the side plates   i think he took a double stack to the elbow  so it blew out his entire arm and he took one   through the face that basically removed his jaw  removed his nose and you could look inside him   it was as bad as it could have been um so we  get them back and we go into t triple c mode   tourniquet's on there we're packing wounds  we're doing that and thank god for that course   um i don't know where we'd be without  that the live tissue training and all that   that was uh i was so prepared for that um we  were in and out of that blowout kit so fast   to uh and i i joke with matty about it  he was um i put the tourniquet on he   was begging for me to stop i was like two  more two more turns finally got the blood   to stop and i had my fingers inside his arm  feeling out that thing the medics working on   jay and um the corpsman putting on tourniquets  pressure dressings all that and i remember   having a distinct conversation with maddie he's  begging me for quick lot he's like quick club   over and over and over i remember from talking to  uh the surgeons during the training he's like if   you dump quick lot in there the only way to remove  it is to cut it out and it's inside of his bicep   and i mean to me i have the bleeding stopped  i have it under control and i'm not pointing   quick lot in you because they're gonna have to  cut it out of you like i'm saving you you're   not dying here like you don't need that quick  lot um we had a bunch of hemostatic dressings   like i'm packing this thing it's fine and  uh he wouldn't shut the [ __ ] up about it   so i told him yeah and i grabbed a i think a quick  lot and i mean this is underneath a tractor tire   where rounds are coming over it's like i've got it  and i pretended like i did it and i went like that   and uh he said thank you so much so yeah you never  got quick lot um so the next thing we uh we have   tourniquets on them we are talking about what  we're going to do now and he is still engaging   and the jtac j um starts prepping a fire  mission and it's close um it's the closest uh   at that point is the closest uh fire mission the  coalition forces the entire war no [ __ ] yeah that's the name um 10 meters 15 minutes 10 [ __ ] meters i mean close  enough where you could take a grenade and throw   it holy [ __ ] i mean like it was they started  walking them in by this time the other element   we had had maneuvered away um nobody was firing  because we didn't have um we didn't have a pitcher   we didn't know where this dude was coming from we  didn't know where our forces were and we thought   we thought that if we were to engage this guy  we would have hit our own blue forces so there's   a big flow in the fire and we were basically  just being withered that we were we were just   getting chewed up um i mean strobes getting  shot off helmets like it's like it's in there   and they're everywhere but hitting human beings  so we've essentially taken the tractor and we've   stacked up plates in between them on our  sides and now we're just working on people   we're laying on top of people doing whatever  we can in jace prepping for a fire mission and   he's asking for 25 mike mike and 40 mike  mike and basically to start walking it in   and i remember a distinct conversation  they said no they said it's too close   and he said we're gonna [ __ ] die anyway juliet  alpha send it gave his initials they started   dropping it and you could feel it you could you  could feel the vibration start to get closer and   closer and start to bounce you off the ground a  little bit and kept coming kept coming kept coming   and then they started going tally on target and uh  i mean you could hear that dude the impacts you'd   hear them smack um you could hear him screaming  and it was very satisfying i just let him go   like let him go like we're not walking back  up that tree line again let that dude die   we called in um we called in for a medevac they  landed right on the axe um right there where   we were we loaded them on there and i jumped in  um the corpsman already been shot so we had him   maddie and jay redman um and we talked about the  typical team guy [ __ ] sometimes about if this   happens just put me out of my misery you know what  i mean like if i get hit by an ied and it blows my   dick off just finish me like people say that [ __  ] yeah that would have been one of the times um if   my face looks like this put me down and he was the  most coherent the most calm dude i have ever seen   sitting upright leaning forward letting [ __ ]  pour out of his face so he could breathe um and he   didn't say much man i don't know if the shock hit  him i don't think he knew how bad it really was um   so i'm working on maddie and hilo we're  kind of doing the whole comb thing   running down his fingers we're finding bullet  holes we're trying to patch all this stuff up   and we get him back um those hilo pilots flew  that bird so fast um i thought they were going   to suck us out of the bird but we had to  shut the doors i've never been in 60 that   flew that fast ever i mean to this day that  thing that thing was in a full attack mode   the entire way back it was the fastest [ __  ] i've ever been in and thank god for it um some of the stuff you don't think about like um  the tourniquets slipping like now the compartment   syndrome sets in all the blood's getting pushed  out now it gets loose now we start blowing blood   all out of it like it's in my mouth it's all over  me like i'm covered in it head to toe like it's   i mean it looks like a scene out of blackhawk  download by back of that hilo like there's just   med kits everywhere and just people lay down  it's like another dose of reality you know   team guys do get shot and if you're if you're  not trained to handle that situation you won't   you won't you won't rise to that like if i  wouldn't have been through t triple c if all those   dudes would have played out that exact scenario  hundreds of times in training i don't know what   would have happened like it's a testament  to how good those dudes prepared that jtag   the balls he had yeah to drop that the confidence  he had in that ac 130 crew like if you missed   that thing like your first round for windage it  was so close he could have killed us it's like   that's the confidence um it was humbling man  to get back from that thing i remember we um   we dropped those guys off i wasn't there for  the rest of the target what happened after that   um i was probably gone for an extra two hours and  i came back from the debrief and i walked in and   you know i'm an emotional [ __ ] wreck um   i would have sworn that matt was gonna die  for sure like jerry looked like he was dead   um i never thought he'd make it i mean just  the way his face looked like he looks so bad   but outside of his arm no real life-threatening  injuries um outside of a [ __ ] kind of cosmetic   stuff i mean he it's a really lucky way to get  shot matty was uh he was a different animal   he got a bad infection external fixators you  know it's all over the place in the hospital   um a very surreal moment um especially for that  deployment just that's how we're gonna end this   whole thing just it's a somber way to go home on  that deployment and i never really got to process   it i didn't have time um just the whole reality of  what had happened kind of what we've been through   damn together as a group um being in  firefights is one thing like being in   that is completely different like just helpless  you couldn't shoot back i couldn't do anything   i could just lay there and put my plates in front  of that guy and hope he shoots me and not you   and give you a tourniquet outside of that man  outside of moral support like we're all just in   this together and i would about anything there's  no way we would walk away from that there's   no i thought we were dead after the initial  contact it was so close it was so violent um   and i think it was kind of that um  not laxative attitude because we   were definitely wired tight for that but  it's not reality until it's reality like   that's not gonna happen yes it is whether you  want it to or not it's happening right now   so um yeah a lot of good lessons learned from that  a lot of stuff that carried with me my entire life   even in training usually a lot of guys will put  on this hollywood show during training they'll um   they'll run out there and they'll like try to  save the princess or some kind of crazy [ __ ] no sometimes you have to sometimes you have  to get up and you have to say cover me and   you have to go out and do that and sometimes  you have to call in danger close fire missions   sometimes you have to run out there being shot  already and drag back a dude to save his life   like there's no argument with that that's the most  heroic [ __ ] i've ever seen ever um i mean to   this day like if i had one defining moment where  i stood back and i was just star struck that's it like if i had to if i had to capture a you  know a 30 second clip of do you want to be a   navy seal why do you want to be one because  people will do this for me that'd be it   maybe jay calling the fire mission matty  run out there grab him back to corman   dragging him back it's a badass move  that is some heavy [ __ ] [ __ ] man damn so yeah i um i'd almost been killed six seven  times on a deployment it was it was getting   rough and that was kind of the last straw we  were about to do turnover they medivacked all   those guys home and then they sent me back  on the first bird and when i landed i went   and saw one saw matty in the hospital his  mom was in there and um it was cool man like then the connection to reality because we hadn't  had that before i've never had a guy in a platoon   be shot and it gave me a really good insight  on what happens when you actually get shot like   it's not the movies it's not a graze it's like  oh yeah he took and he continued to fight for   six hours and he doesn't miss a  rotation that bullet hits your bone   you're out of this program maybe forever  you're definitely out of it for nine months   multiple surgeries now infections and rehab and  physical therapy you get it cleared by the doctors   and everything else everything that goes in behind  the backside to get you back up and running it   wasn't a reality we never had to deal with it like  i definitely take that forward now to training   like we do simulation [ __ ] i use that as  a prime example if you haven't seen what   happens when a bullet hits human bone on the blue  side or on the bad side the bullet doesn't care   it's doing the exact same amount of damage  like you're out of the game for six months man   yeah so but yeah that was uh that was how we  wrapped up 2007. that's pretty [ __ ] rough   you keep in touch with all those guys  still or yeah i was just texting with uh   with the jtac actually dave before yesterday  really trying to get him to come in and   do the skateboard thing um yeah get smart therapy  on get the boys back together i think everybody um   well those guys will met or not i don't give  a [ __ ] like that really [ __ ] us up um yeah it's rough man yeah got to sit there and just   wait to die damn yeah it was um yeah it's  a real experience just the proximity of it   um that's something that can't be um it  can't be overlooked like it's different being   pinned down from a couple hundred meters away like  you can get up and maneuver not this one like if   that dude would have stood up and just walked us  down it had been over so it's like all the lessons   learned on laser placement how to focus your  nods ambient conditions everything else it's like   i know now it's like one more pearl and lock  that one away i won't ever forget that again damn   so it's like everything you know i think we kind  of take that forward in the training now it's like   all these lessons have been learned not because  you know we're superhuman but because we're honest   and we [ __ ] things up and everything you're  doing right now i've [ __ ] up before there's   no reason for you to make the same mistake yeah so  yeah i mean huh it's a big thing just not being um not being mentally prepared for that situation you  thought you were but i hadn't hadn't looked at it   in a in a realistic lens yet it was still  video game mode still training mode it was   that's not going to happen to me  even though we were walking down   interlocked arms waiting to  get shot wasn't reality yet   you scared shitless i knew it was coming any  moment but in until it goes loud it's not real [ __ ] man how was it being home after that   terrible i was [ __ ] up man i had uh i  was dating a chick at the time um she uh [ __ ] just went solid dude i  was just i was in a bad spot um everything sent me over the edge just so hyper  vigilant um i just couldn't shake it and uh   i think i really started to obsess over everything  then like the details and training training   methodology and just like i really became a  student of the craft then like then i got it   all the [ __ ] all these old dudes have been  talking this is why this is what they were trying   to prepare me for but they didn't have a formula  to give it to me they didn't have a they didn't   have a movie they didn't have uh they didn't have  their own c story to tell me this they just knew   from training over and over and over this is  what it has to be and they were right like if   you make training so realistic you don't know the  difference because of your mindset it's very hard   to trip people up if i paint it real in my mind  during training my body won't know the difference let's take a break that was heavy oh [ __ ] man all right man so we're back that was  a pretty [ __ ] devastating deployment   but uh you came back and a little bit of good  happened you met your wife so how did that happen   so after 2005 um you had the red wings thing  go down and most of the wives stayed local   um so we all stayed there now a bunch of them  lived offshore drive so that became just our   our running crew um we go there new family  dinners laura mcgreevy's house all the time and   um just became a big melting pot of gold  star families um internet patsy threw them so   um yeah i've never met her before didn't know  danny didn't know any of that i'd seen her for you   know a five minute segment before and um yeah gold  star community kind of brought us together which   was pretty taboo let me backtrack just real quick  because the audiences know this so you eventually   wound up marrying patsy who previously was married  to danny dietz who died in operation red wings   she's a gold star yeah so yeah which at the time  was um it was taboo like nobody did that they um   this is gonna sound bad but i'll say it um we  kind of wrote them off like they're untouchable   once your husband dies like you can't date  again um and i know team guys did it i did   it too you judge them like how long are they  supposed to wait do they wait 10 years like   you can't judge people for that you  have no idea what they're going through   and kind of the school thought where i came up in  the teams um i fell in love with her right off the   bat and i didn't give a [ __ ] if she was a gold  star or not um and i caught hate for it i did   had answers and tough questions um i didn't  care what was it about her he liked so much   um her understanding she got it she knew exactly  what it was reality had smacked her um her stepdad   was cecile so she'd been in the navy she knew  the commitment um and she served herself like   she knew exactly what it was she knew what her  deployment was and she knew the reality of it   i didn't have to explain it to her i feel  like that's a big thing in the teams is   people marry their high school  sweetheart after you've been   gone for four years and you come back and  she has no idea that you're gonna be gone   250 plus days out of every year like she  has no idea you're gonna come home with   you know three weeks of nasty ass laundry drop  it off and leave for a two week training trip   i didn't have to explain after she already knew  and she was bought in so it made a it made that   transition so easy because she was dedicated as i  was so she uh she really let me she let me obsess   like she knew where i had to go to get to the  level i wanted to get and she encouraged it   so yeah i mean she saved me for sure how long  were you guys dating before you got engaged um   about a year and a half so a year and a half yeah   did you see you met her pretty much  right when you got home yeah and then   by the end of the next workout you better do the  next workout um i think around it was thanksgiving   that year or something like that um proposed to  her in front of her old family my old family and   the community kind of erupted in a positive  way it was awesome that's cool yeah dude it was   as it was supposed to be yeah so on on this trip  home it sounds like it was pretty eventful you   you met your wife you got engaged you screened for  green team yep um started my third workup we um   i was in a very uh i was writing  an emotional roller coaster   daily i just was um i was  drinking back then a lot um just trying to numb my senses  i didn't care what it was   luckily i never did anything really  stupid um definitely had my moments that was the only thing i knew  i didn't know what else to do people that i could talk to wouldn't talk other  people that have been exposed to similar things   they uh they put up this facade like um   [ __ ] wrong with you so i just i did the  exact same thing i walled it up like nope   i won't even address that i won't  address any of these feelings i have   i want to address the anxiety my performance  anxiety going into that 2008 2009 year was through   the roof like having panic attacks and i didn't  know what they were i thought i was having little   mini strokes if you haven't had one they're it's  alarming like just sitting down in a cold sweat   yeah i have no idea what's coming over me right  now but i know it's not good and i know i can't   say anything to anybody because they'll pull  me out of this job and that's not happening   so we have to do what we do suffer in silence  just be quiet and continue doing your job and   that's what you have to do um fortunately  for me right around that time we started a   new workup and i got a i got a new platoon  chief who uh used to be over to command   his name's barrett and um he was everything i  needed like i mean you couldn't have you could   have molded a better dude at that moment in time  for me he um he talked to talk he walked the walk   and he performed and he was he was nasty  he was he was um because usually you know   guys kind of they have a shelf life and they don't  you know your platoon chief or your uh your troop   chief isn't making the entries every time he  doesn't need to be the best shot anymore because   he's commanding controlling everything it wasn't  like that with that dude he outperformed everybody   and he basically set the bar at what development  group is supposed to be and like that's what it   became like i can't outshoot him i can't out  pt him i don't know more about cqb than him i   don't have a combat experience he does um and  it humbled you which is exactly what i needed   exactly what everybody needed we needed we needed  to see the in-state i needed to see what you   could accomplish if you um if you went all the  way and that's what that dude did he showed us   like if you want to be a professional if you  want to be the guy you have to go all the way well that was good advice or bad advice i  took it literally and um i started to set   up little walls um little break off points and  relationships and friendships and everything else   if you impede anything on this progression  i'm done not one [ __ ] second will i give   to you because you're not worth the end state  you're not you're not worth me sacrificing my   dreams and my hopes and all my wants and wishes  i want to be the best navy seal i can possibly be   and if you slow me down one second i'll never  talk to you again like i don't have time for   it like this community that organization this  job deserves the very best of me emotionally   spiritually physically everything tactically  and you have to completely in my opinion   to reach uh the highest level you possibly can  you have to cut out all the other [ __ ] and i   thought that job deserved it i did i grew up  in my entire life and you've never met a dude   who loved being maybe still more than me i just  did every day i woke up even through the where   everybody's complaining in the platoon space  on this and that i loved it i'd come home and   i just i just smile man just thankful to be there  thankful that i'm doing exactly what i uh what i   was put on this earth to do i loved it did you  cut any did you cut any important relationships   or was it just a coincidence and a little [ __  ] no i cut off i cut all kinds of [ __ ] out um we had a in a platoon life um people that spread a lot of  hate a lot of discontent a lot of [ __ ] talking   um a lot of guys that call them nine to fivers the  last one in here you show up five minutes before   our first muster near the first dude bouncing  out of here at 4 pm like what are you doing   yeah birds of feather i'm going to shun myself  and i'm going to isolate myself with only people   that are better than me and that are going to  help me achieve the level i want to achieve the   people that want to stay late and train the  guys who want to show up early and work out   the guys that are doing courses on saturday  and sunday like the guys who are going to   fully commit that's who i'm going to surround  myself with it's the best thing i ever did um   it gave me the focus i could just strip out  everything and i could just tunnel vision   every day had a purpose like today i'm doing  fitness i'm not checking my phone i don't have   social media wasn't a thing you didn't have  to deal with any any kind of [ __ ] like that   um but you could just scrub away bad  relationship toxicity out of your life   so um we do that deployment um it was a long  stand down it was really eaten away at uh   at the boys overall collective um long story  short we uh we deployed in a big joint fashion   and the rangers uh had an issue back to iraq he  deployed back to iraq back to baghdad um had all   the assets third time um full rotation and uh it  was awesome like the target set we inherited was   amazing like we were going to be getting it and i  think we were there for 10 or 15 days and we were   just feeling ourselves out the asset schedule  and everything else like all the things that   actually make the machine run we were slowly  figuring out i was a team leader at the time   so i'm in all the briefings and all the meetings  and the rangers go out and they get into a   firefight and they kill a guy and it happens to  be one of the shakes son-in-laws and they threw   some political [ __ ] storm into the air and they  sit us down for 90 consecutive days so we have all   the task force people there we have everything  kilos everything and every day they'd come in   roll 24 roll 24 should be on friday it's  a long weekend it's a four day weekend on   tuesday we'll get an update friday we'll get an  update and they kept doing that the entire time   so i mean you can imagine yeah get a bunch of guys  overseas that just want to fight just want to get   out of the door and you're not letting them and  you're not telling them why we didn't do anything   i didn't choose that dude i wasn't on that target  none of our people were why are you punishing us then you got to feel being a political pawn then  you realized that it was nothing to do with us   just some guy flexing it's not going to let you do  your job but it eroded the cohesion of that entire   organization like we were at each other's throats  man it was bad um just the living conditions like   you could you wouldn't see people for days  there was no reason to have a meeting it's   like we weren't training we were just rusting  um and luckily barrett kind of pulled us out of   that and he'd have um basically pulled all the  guys together we do cqb we go to flat range we   started training that group within the group that  spread the collective and we kind of just you know   it took a little bit but we all got  back on step and on around the 90th day   he came in and he said [ __ ] it we're moving and  we lifted that entire package and we drove it down   the road a couple hours um to fob war horse and  we set up there and it was busy like it was uh   it was everything we wanted to do um we inherited  a bunch of target sets from uh from the army side   which is really good got to interface with those  guys a lot got to learn about palm groves and   a bunch of new ttps that we hadn't even thought  about um things that would have really helped   us in 2007 we're now learning now like yep i've  been there i know exactly what he's talking about   so we got to learn a [ __ ] ton we got to  put it to put it to good use it was good   who are you working with from the army  um so we had a ranger element with us   we had the tier 1 personality there 2-2 ses was in  the same compound um so he was a it was so funny   man the uh the ses i [ __ ] love those dudes they  they'd roll through the chow hall and they've all   got american flag patches on i'm like it's over  the patch he said gotta blame it on somebody   like okay cool those guys were great man just  um i remember seeing them you see all the unit   guys you see the sas guys i mean i'm a kid and  they look like they're seven foot tall like they   look like marcus cabone like they look enormous  they've all got huge beards and long hair and like   holy [ __ ] that's what the pros look like like  now you get to see it up close just before i   mean it's just it's just us you get to see the  other organization you're like you get to hear   what they're doing going out at night and you  don't get to so you get to hear about this huge   firefight they got into and you can you got to sit  there with the rangers and twiddle your thumbs and   play reindeer games until we got the lift and  shift and it's like okay let's all be big boys   again and um it was fine it was it was a decent  deployment nothing uh nothing to really write   home about um but it showed me how uh shouldn't  the seesaw method if the op tempo goes up or   island wherefro can go down like you don't need to  have xbox and flat screen tvs and all this crazy   [ __ ] if you're working every night you sleep on  cots in a tent with no ac eating mres the happiest   dude you'll ever see nobody gives a [ __ ] when  that doesn't happen morale has to go up somehow   and there was nothing to give you you can't booze  you can't leave the country there's nothing to do   you're just stuck there and you just have  to watch other people go out and work   just to watch how um how that eroded the unit  cohesion it did um it took a while to get it back   i mean you had to really really bring the  voice in like movie time just you know not   not mandatory fun but you had to do things to  bring everybody back in to re-explain the why   i think part of the training part of the mindset  conversations the mission planning conversations   would they'd take such a philosophical role  then because of him that um everybody would   buy in it was like nothing you've ever heard  before his thought process on mission planning   that's completely different school i thought like  that is a okay that's it's a new concept to us   just um the whole thing just everything the target  approach the the methodology between everything   everything was to the why so he  was teaching all you guys that   that's a [ __ ] oh dude he's a leader he is man  he's amazing um he got to stay and do a troop   chief right after that which i mean anybody who's  worked with him i mean he's a demi god in my eyes   like i [ __ ] love that dude if i had to pick  one dude right now that i'd put on my dream   team like that'd be one of my first bugs he was  a great and i needed him so bad at that moment um   and we came back from that deployment  and uh i was kind of on a negative crash   i was trying to stay positive because  i had green team to look forward to   and um know i got married did all that we  flew over spain had the honeymoon came back got into a blowout with uh with my old man  like um not a big blowout just an argument   and it escalated into uh not speaking um basically  starting green team into blind so in january of   2010 had an argument and it escalated from  there and it got worse and worse and worse   and i couldn't do it i couldn't  i couldn't have any distractions the platoon chief told me exactly what  green team is going to be like i've seen my   buddies go through it i've heard the horror  stories i know how much pressure is on it   and um that's what he kept saying he's like  you have to have a perfect day every day   no distractions no booze no chick drama  break of your girlfriend do whatever don't   buy a puppy right now like it's the only thing  that matters lock it in right now and give it   your total commitment and you'll be  successful and that's what i had to do so yeah um a couple months turned into a  really long time yeah how many guys started the   green team um called somewhere between  um 80 and 90. how many came out um 20 20 22. not many low 20s yeah you want to  go into any of that yeah we can let's do it um   what do you want to talk about let's talk about  the first day of green team what happens um   we show up you do a screen test  you hope you do a physical test   it's the only known in the entire selection  process you know exactly what it is it's written   on a piece of paper everybody knows what it is and  it doesn't matter that is the most stressful thing you'll ever do it just does um it's by  design you know it was it's like a dream   come true just to be there um until we started  the screen test and you get a bunch of dudes uh   a bunch of the guys that have already made  it come out and they watch you they hold for   you for sit-ups they count your push-ups they  count your setups they tell you if your pull-ups   are right and that is a very intimidating thing  like you're you're a college football player and   you're coming out for your pro debut and  tom brady's throwing footballs to you oh   [ __ ] yeah no pressure and back in the day um  they look like vikings i mean super long hair   big long beards and they look [ __ ] mean they  did and it was intimidating and i loved it   i did man i i got off that bus dude i  used to take benadryl before green team   i get so excited i get so i get so amped up  i take benadryl to try to calm myself down   um it's like a cheap man's beta blocker but um i  loved every minute of it it was um two different   schools of thought you could try to survive it  you could try to polish all the way through and   come out at the end and be more capable my advice  that uh i was giving me was take every day like   it's your last day and try to absorb as much  knowledge out of that [ __ ] place as possible   and that's what i did every day um there's a  lot of pressure to perform we talked about that   addiction um every day you want to perform and the  fear of because now i had that falling out with uh   with my parents the thought of not making it now  really set home the thought that i would have to   come home and look at patsy after all the [ __  ] she's been through and tell her i didn't make   it i couldn't fathom it it'd haunt me at night um  wasn't sleeping um yeah the pressure consumed me i try to use it uh to my advantage but it's  hard man it's hard when every day it's like   you see the best dude i've ever worked with just  got dropped like why the [ __ ] am i still here   i don't really care so one more day do they tell  you why you get dropped yeah they do no yeah they   tell you i mean yeah i mean it's team got a  team guy they tell you exactly why and looking   back on it now um that's exactly how it has to  be because you know what the end state is like   i mean it's hard for people to hear  like your ego gets put in check but   you're not good enough to be here whether  that be a person that personality thing or   performance saying it doesn't really matter  like you can try to come back or you can't does everybody have the option to come back or  you have to be invited back anybody back do you   go through the screening again or um they give you  a class up um i'm sure it's different every time   a lot of guys have to rescreen some guys will  stay there and they'll roll back they get hurt   or uh they mess something up it's kind of like  how we can since if you get past a certain block   sometimes you don't have to redo that block unless  you really mess it up you gotta redo the whole   thing which i mean that's what um that's what most  people don't realize is how hard that place is   physically like the screen tester double what it  is to get into buds that's the bare minimum like   if you're not if you're not cranking 120 push-ups  140 sit-ups 30 pull-ups like you're you're last   like if you do the minimums you're  not going you have to be a freak   which was good we were afforded a lot of  time to train and get ready for it a lot of   time in the shoot house a lot of time shooting  mentally preparing for it and that was right um that was right at the height of like the human  performance aspect so we had a badass strength   conditioning coach at group two um that really  helped us out he went over to the eagles and   runs their their stuff um i mean so we were  ready like the crew we had assembled i mean   that was that was as prepared as you could have  been oh [ __ ] so we showed up the first day i've never been so nervous my [ __ ] life dude i  could barely breathe um and i was a freak i mean   i'm i say that cocky because i was like i was in  shape when i showed up that was the one thing i   had going for me is i could pass that screen test  and i'll tell you what the pressure of that day i   barely got through that [ __ ] thing it's just  cranking out 140 push-ups and a single set like   no issue now i've got that dude who i want to  be like is counting for me and i'm at 70 and   i'm blowing snot out of my face like oh my  god like i'm just going to try to do these   perfect and hopefully he doesn't say anything  to me and let's just hope for the best like that's what it was i mean it's [ __ ]  stressful and then every day it just   continues i mean it's all cqb based and you know  everything else you got to do over there but um   the pressure to perform you can't have  a bad day yeah and it becomes addicting   like what would you say god most  guys cqb cqb and that's all yeah   yeah let me get a couple guys for some other  stuff some jumping some personality stuff the   officers have a hard time at the end because now  it's all the pressure's on them but no man it's a   it's a humbling experience what's the pipeline  look like what are the different blocks of journey   um let me know how much i can really get into but  i mean it's basically um if you were to assault a   target it's basically what it is a bunch of  cqb a bunch of shooting a bunch of jumping   um you do all the land warfare type  stuff and then it's all the other   external stuff you have to do did they tie  it all together at the end yeah like a big   oh yeah you know a couple of exercises oh yeah  not bad i mean it's it's as real as it could be   i think it feels real so what's it like  when you uh when you graduate when you're in um anti-climactic really no tradition is  there any traditions you can talk about   when you make it in or um yeah when you get  in there but uh we graduated green team they   came in they read a bunch of names off  and then they said what squadron they   were going to read off a bunch of names he's  like all right get in the trucks that's it   yeah we got the trucks we went out and we did  an fmp that night big full mission profile   like we knew we were going it was like i i  didn't have a cell phone i couldn't couldn't   tell my wife and just like because where i wanted  to go was exactly where i went um and i wasn't   shy about asking where i wanted to go so i mean  um it was like all my dreams had come true just finished up green team um well  actually let's go back in green team um   we'd do a big jump block i'd already had uh  150 200 skydives before i had my own parachute   because i knew what i had to to be able to  do so i started training on my own and um it's in august we had to do mandatory downwind landings um it's  where they want you to run with the wind so you   got a lot of speed coming in it's to teach you  that the parachute doesn't know the difference   if you're going into the wind or downwind if  you do the flare the same you can manage it   um and i hit a divot going hard um i panicked a  disco and cobra struck this thing and i smashed in   and i thought i broke my back i heard a [  __ ] loud pop and my whole right leg went   numb and i freaked out and i jumped up  real quick and i dusted myself off and i okay we're good and i went back in there and  i walked over to the corpsman and i told him   i was like i don't know what the [ __ ] i just  did but it's something bad he's like you want to   do a dexterity no no i finished jumping for the  rest of the day and i think that was on a friday   um and i grabbed and i was like i gotta get  exercise right now like we got to keep this   hush-hush we drove over to the er um we shot  x-rays came back benign they thought i tore my   hip flexor so i just kept training on it um kept  jumping probably did another 50 60 jumps on it   and we're doing all the normal stuff you know  10 mile rugs conditioning runs buddy carries   we're doing the whole thing um and now it's  developed to i can't lift my leg up like i'm   dragging this thing now if i wanted to drive a  car i'd lift it off the gas and put on the brake   like it's it's done and i don't know what  it is but i know i'm not saying anything   because i don't want to get rolled so we  finish up jumping and we're about to do um   we're about to get to the very end we already  know we're going to go we've got some little   [ __ ] admin block thing we have to do and my  leg's still messed up and i call back into rehab   we start going through the whole thing and  he's like let's go in let's get some ct scans   let's get an mri and let's see if maybe you  broke your back like maybe that's what it is   and uh they came back to get me i never  forget we were doing the nfl combine   um and i was on i think i was on crutches  at the time we uh we did the broad jump the   vertical max bench press squat deadlift we did a  bunch of [ __ ] like that a bunch of cone drills   and we just got done and uh they walked in  and he's like um cmc need to see you in rehab   it's like oh [ __ ] i walked over there and  he's he's sitting down he's got a big smile on   his face and puts his hand on my knee he's like  it's gonna be okay and my heart [ __ ] dropped   like you could have just shot my [  __ ] puppy like my whole life is over   and um i looked at rehab guys who were super [  __ ] awesome and i was like what's going on i   was like back broken he went nope your hips broken  your femoral neck snapped off because i don't know   how the [ __ ] you're walking and i looked at him  and i was like i think it's my back and he goes   well this x-ray right here this mri and they pull  it up and you see it like thermal neck to bottom   socket snapped all the way off so that impact had  broke it and somehow it had re-locked in position   and it just hadn't sheared if it had shifted one  inch left or right all the blood supply goes to   the hip it dies total hip reconstruction you're  out of the military damn so it's like that and i   looked at him i've never had surgery um i mean  i've been hurt a lot growing up as a kid i've   broken everything but i've never had surgery and  he's like we're gonna have to emergency surgery   and i looked right at him right in front  of that cmc and i said during a [ __ ] way   no and he looked at me and he goes that's the  only option he's like you're not deploying how fast can we do it he goes we  can get it done tomorrow at 7 am   let's go i walked in they pumped in um three  titanium uh five inch lag bolts through my hip   and i showed the rehab the next  day and we started physical therapy   we had to finish see your school i got a gnarly  infection out there you know they put you in the   box they play the whole game it's really well  ran um it was actually one of my favorite blogs   really it was really well done um it's a different  series school than one we did um it was really   well ran i learned a lot about school but i  got a nasty infection so i had this wound on   the side of my hip i could press on my thigh and  blow pus out of it i mean it was bad like they   were doing pick lines in my arms it was it was  bad and um my body started rejecting the screws i didn't know how bad it was going to be but i  knew that i had to deploy soon so we're coming   up on the new year and we're supposed to  deploy um the realist have christmas there   and then we're going to deploy in january so  made it through green team got a broken hip i   think we had surgery in end of november and i'm  going to deploy in january and they're saying   it's uh a four to six month recovery time um i  i feel superhuman i was even faster back then um   and those guys they're not dumb in we uh we do  vitamin d3 we do calcium all the supplements   to try to get that bone to grow as fast i  quit dipping i started right back up after   i healed but yeah quit anything to try to  get myself in the best position to deploy   and i still was and i still wasn't cleared so  the rehab guy so badass he deployed with me   i met over there and he stayed for like two or  three weeks and we did physical therapy there and   i tested out in afghanistan they've they flew a [  __ ] rehab specialist physical therapist with you   on deployment under we had one of those huge  box jumps like one of the ones like waist high   and the final test was i had to put on all my  gear and i had to do a depth jump off of that   and land on one leg and i'd never forget i looked  at him um i looked him right into [ __ ] eyes   and i was like mike i don't know about this um  brother and he went if you're not sure don't do it   and i stepped off and it [ __ ] hurt it  hurt bad and he went how are you feeling 100   okay he signed me off and we started going um  damn it [ __ ] i cleared it out and had a good   deployment um it was a half one it's probably two  or three months long um because i caught you know   behalf of with all the guys who graduated  green team with and then came back and   kind of geared up for the next  one just the constant rotation so you you've been through three iraq deployments  before you did your first deployment with   dev group yeah and they were all pretty eventful  deployments how did that first deployment   compare to your other three  um especially your second   that one was okay um because we were new guys  and it wasn't my element i was attached to it   um the team that i was supposed to go  to was doing some other [ __ ] that   wasn't really conducive for new guys to be there  um it was more like an older senior position um   we were kind of doing the outstation thing so they  didn't want us to get bogged down with that so we   got to stay with the strikeforce um and it was  cool we got to do a bunch of stuff we were we   were battling um kind of a weather cycle just  the way it did so not as super busy as it was   but we turned right back around the next year  and that was um 11 into 12 and then it was good it was good it was uh it was humbling just to  see that i hate to say how nonchalant but just   nothing raised them like they'd go out and   whatever would happen and it would be like  holy [ __ ] it wouldn't even get debriefed like it was so um it was so  effortless to watch the move it was   i mean it's like watching gretzky take the  [ __ ] ice like oh my god like that's what   that's norm so you know what do you mean  by that do you mean there's no build up   no i mean it's just it's that even keel all the  way through pre-op on the up post-op it's just   easy yeah like it doesn't matter what happened  it professional like that's the way it's supposed   to be done and then you saw it and then it all  started to click that's why that's why that's why   it's to achieve that to where i mean one of the  guys um i mean i one of the guys who's out there did some pretty amazing [ __ ] on it  on one of these [ __ ] things and uh   i made a comment during the deep reflect are  we not gonna address that and uh i'll never   forget dude he looked right at me almost  with uh a little bit of snap and he's like   and you get in the end zone act like  you've been there before and walked away and that was the that was the tone like  don't pound your chest it doesn't matter   you got to prove it again in five hours like  okay yeah it's like the the level of proficiency   was so [ __ ] high that it was like you were  just you're just in a constant run to maintain   it's it's humbling man like to watch it at finest  it was uh it was everything i ever wanted to see   yeah i mean it's like grown up playing baseball  your entire life and you finally get to go watch   the yankees play like you're in the dugout with  them you get to see them you get to touch them   i mean to me it's like my entire life  was nothing but seal team that was it   yeah that's all i ever known now i get  to see it at the highest level it's   i mean it gives me goosebumps man i like to see  it that good and you're like holy [ __ ] i had no   idea because you get stuck in a get stuck not in a  falsehood but um the standard becomes the standard   until someone exceeds it and when the  collective exceeds it became a dynasty like   i can't believe how good it was looking  back on it now like that's as close to   perfection as i've ever seen it and it was  the norm like no chest pounding just go like   humbling yeah that's interesting especially i mean  they really set the tone it sounds like when you   when you get through green team  and they're just yep shipley   here so and so here yeah getting a [ __ ]  truck you know so makes uh makes a lot of sense but all right let's take uh let's say a quick  break and then when we get back we'll get into   uh when you're a specific deployment you're on all right so we're back you're we're getting  into some deployments but i wanted to bring   something up reading through your timeline  you know first deployment in the seal teams   you get in biggest loss and  seal team history happens   then you get through green team and  right after you graduate what maybe six   less than a year afterwards yeah i mean august of  uh august of 11. extortion 17 happens which again   is the biggest loss in seal team  history so let's start there   um kind of the way we talk about it is where were  you where were you when 9 11 happened yeah where   were you when june 28th happened and where were  you when august 6th happened i know exactly where   i was i was sitting in a movie theater with my  wife sitting next to me my shooting buddy's wife   and then my shooting buddy we're all entering a  movie and we're probably 45 minutes into it and   phone goes off and you're glued to these things  um can't miss a text message like i mean the   addiction the the addiction to your phone becomes  a real thing like you can't miss a text message   you can't miss a phone call ever um and his phone  goes off and mind us too when we both crack them   and we both looked at each other at the same  time and he had got a text from somebody   in the white house um a staffer used to be  a team guy and he said call me right now   and i had the exact same thing the exact  same time that said call me right now from   a different guy okay and he texts back what's up  and uh he said afghanistan hilo and get the word   i like to write in my old ladies get up walked  her out of that movie they split and drove each   other home and i jumped in a car with him we drove  straight to work and everybody was in there like   it was spreading fast um nobody had any real  details i mean we did but um it went into um   it turned into a [ __ ] circus it was like i  was reliving a movie that i'd already seen that   i didn't want to know the ending of um i've  been here before i already knew what this is   all the notifications basically everybody's  throwing on dress blues they're driving out um me   and my wife are grabbing groceries and gallons of  starbucks and dropping off at gold star houses um   just really trying to take care  of our own that's one good thing   about the gold star community is  they know exactly what they need   so basically notification team would go out  and then we would roll in behind and drop off   gifts um you know groceries we'd pick up kids  from from school we'd do whatever we could um and   that's the collective that's everybody but it's  just what you did trying to make sense of what it   actually happened um there's just no good way to  there's just no good way to go about that i mean   that loss is felt this [ __ ] moment like that  didn't happen that how did this happen again   um and you couldn't explain why i  mean things happen in war things that   you wish didn't happen you wish it wasn't a  reality it's absolutely reality it's another   reality check it doesn't matter how good those  dudes were you couldn't have picked a better   there wasn't a more capable fighting force on  the [ __ ] earth than the dudes were on that   helicopter and it didn't matter it did  not matter gone in an instant it's like   like how are you going to come back from  that and then selfishly how are we going   to take care of all these families like what  do we do now it's like every foundation just   dumped in trying to support trying  to do whatever they could to   i mean inside of that we're trying to rebuild  like we still have we're still fighting the g-1   like we can't let this be our defining moment we  just can't we've been through this thing before   um unfortunately the the ceo at the time had been  through had been to this exact same thing he was   a group two commodore when red wings happened  he had been through this whole [ __ ] thing   so put a plan in action we had to rebuild the  force had to take care of all the families   um take care all the kids me and  patsy started making memorial t-shirts   within 12 hours just trying to raise money just  trying to do anything that's what a lot of people   don't realize is a there's a there's a gap like if  you're pronounced dead your paycheck stops there's   a long gap before any kind of life insurance  comes in or any kind of support so the only   thing that puts food on the table the only thing  that puts gas in the car is their foundations   like people that are raising money um and we  don't how long that gap's going to be like now   we've got big name foundations that really lend a  helping hand but it doesn't matter to them to that   singular family the whole world just came crashing  down it's over like it'll never [ __ ] be okay now   it's like anything you can do to try  to lighten that burden you try to   that's making a memorial t-shirt if  that's you know picking up the kids   and having to make skateboards whatever  it might be you have to do something um but i'll tell you what that was um  that was a super dose of reality   because doing a lot of [  __ ] in helos and it's like   that's the reality that is exactly what is going  to happen like there's nothing you can do for them   it doesn't matter like you can't plan for that  you just can't i mean you can you can try to do   things but a hilo gets shot down with all those  people on board there's no good scenario out of   that and it crippled us we had to rebuild the  force and every team had to give up bodies um   and that was the whole point of contention like  people wanting to rebuild people not wanting to   rebuild i don't want to go i want to go just it  was a it was a circus here for a couple weeks   it was do you want to describe a little bit  more in detail how many lost what happened well   without getting many specifics uh the weather  was not in favor um it was a high alumni   um and a force went out and got  contacted and needed to launch a qrf   and they launched in that troop to be a  qrf and on final they got shot down um   everybody's in there like you've got an  amazing force you've got the world's best   sitting in the back of this flying school bus  it lands down they shoot it on the sky it's um   you just can't plan for it you just can't it's  31 people gone including some afghan partner   forces but an entire troop of people yeah  it's just gone and i mean things that people   don't think about things that i know that haunt  other individuals is um think about the guy who missed that deployment had a  shoulder surgery and wasn't there   think about the guy had to go home for a  birth of his kid you should have been there   like that's going to weigh on  that dude forever and it is um i don't know i just remember walking into the  building it being so [ __ ] somber just um   you didn't know where the smile like you  wanted to have fun at work but you couldn't   like how dare you smile right now it was one  of those things like um it wasn't a forced um it wasn't a force thing it's just it's what  it was i mean we were in the trenches for a   long [ __ ] time man we just were and uh it felt  like it was so hard to get back out of it we try   to rebuild and we've got the force and they're  back and they're i mean they dump every dude   they pull guys from all the other teams and try  to rebuild that one troop and they grab some   [ __ ] all-stars man they did like they spared no  expense they grabbed some serious [ __ ] talent   and they rebuilt um and they built a dynasty  like they built some [ __ ] bad ass dudes um it was like one thing after another so  we get them all back up and that's 2011.   um so i had nick check in my team we  were in the same five-man team and he   got pulled out to go over there to backfill  when all the guys got killed in extortion and it didn't feel right didn't seem right um  him and my wife really tight um we did our first   uh platoons together and when he went over um i  rolled into his team as a new guy and i [ __ ]   loved him man god he was awesome he just was he  was uh he was everything he wanted a teammate he came over and retiled my entire kitchen him and  my wife when i was on deployment before his first   deployment with command up until the last hour  he drove to the command covered in tile stood   and put on fresh clothes  and got my plane damn mike [ __ ] great dude and uh you know we just came  back from uh we just came back from afghanistan   deployment in between extortion um so we  backfilled them had to sleep in their beds   had to do that whole thing that's a very  somber and sombering thing to have to do um i mean it's the reality like this is what it is sleep in a dead guy's bed so um   just another reality check trying to get in  there and hit a really good target set and   everything's great and we're we're going to work  it's all steady in the back of your mind it's like any moment here any moment this thing's going to  get us and it almost did a couple times the exact   same thing i mean we took rpgs off the refueler  um getting shot on infield lexville i mean just   close ones yeah um testament to the pilots  capabilities just how good they were um   but right after that um that was a really good  diploma that was probably my favorite deployment   um because the people we were with like that team  god man i um i did not deserve to be in that team   um i [ __ ] loved that if you could have uh  if you could lock me in a time capsule i'd   still be in there i would have never came home  i loved it so much i had separated myself from   everything outside of that um it was the only  thing that made me feel normal was being there   i i loved it i loved the banter i loved  the [ __ ] talking i love the pranks   um i love the professionalism i love the  absolute obsession to the detail i loved it and to watch those guys work with the team that took the loss nope or was this  okay this is after all right we just rolled base   in the same kind of like you guys on june 28th all  right you guys rolled in same thing okay at the   same base you relieve yeah all right um it was uh  it was weird man just the whole thing was dicey we   came back kind of like my mentor at that point  like my my true north was my team leader then   he um his wife is best friends with patsy  my best friend to him his groom's in my   wedding i know before i screamed  at all that i [ __ ] loved him um and he got hurt got medically retired  after that deployment um our number two   did three or four other guys  got [ __ ] up pretty bad um   and it just i hate to say i had all my eggs  in one basket but i i love being in that team   so much the energy the collective um i was  not i was not ready to lose that i wasn't   and when he was gonna medically retire he'd [  __ ] crush me is this okay nevermind keep going   so it crushed me it was like that's who  i want to be this is a whole team like   if we can just freeze this [ __ ] like everybody  will re-enlist we'll just stay here it's amazing   we came back from that deployment we're  kind of rebuilding he's moving out we've   got new guys coming in everything's good um  and nick checked the police he deploys out um   i'll never forget man i'm sitting with my wife  at yard house i've got both my uncles um i come   from a long military background on my dad's side  i've got him my grandfather was a fighter pilot   usair um u.s airways pilot after that my other  uncle was 75th ranger regiment jumped into panama   and did 25 years in the secret service counter  sniper team my other one was the marine   um was marine infantry guy so i'm sitting across  my two uncles we're having an honest conversation   and my phone goes off it's one of the guys from  the team like we're not doing anything but just   we're in virginia beach hanging out and i grab it  um he's okay what's up he's like walk outside real   quick and bebop outside and his car is driving by  i'm like plugging one here i'm like hey what's up   is that you sitting down no should i be  and there's a long pause um [ __ ] man uh this is a long pause and he said  nick got shot and i waited i said   okay where is he when we need to go pick  him up he's even longer pause and i can   feel it i can feel it building up inside me it  feels like it's resting on my [ __ ] sternum   it's about to come out of my [ __ ] mouth and i  don't know what it is but it's something and uh in the shakiest [ __ ] voice he  could muster he said he's gone   and i uh i let out a whimper i let  out something i started [ __ ] balling   i've been to work in 15 minutes i hung up  the phone i dried my eyes real quick i'm like   i'm gonna walk in there i'm gonna sit down  this [ __ ] booth i'm gonna eat my kung pao   chicken i'm gonna drink this moscow mule i'm  gonna get through dinner and then i'm gonna   drive to work and i'll i'll tell patsy tomorrow  like i mean she loved nick she [ __ ] loved him   um and i sat down and i stared right in between  my uncles i picked a spot on the wall and i   stared there and they're all looking at me i  can feel it and she put her hand on my shoulder   and i looked over at the corner of my eye and  she said tell me and i [ __ ] i [ __ ] lost it oh you know [ __ ] man do you want to talk about what he was doing  he was doing a hostage rescue for a doctor   named joseph in afghanistan um bad scenario  obviously ed byers got the medal of honor um   a bunch of navy crosses that came out of that op  um the long story short they uh they patrolled up   nick's walking point and one of the sentries  came out and they had a brief engagement   um and he ran up to make a dynamic entry  super fast like the gig's up we have to go   so we closed the distance and um they  had a bunch of blankets in the doorway   he's clearing the blankets trying to get  inside and as he makes entry he takes a round kind of over the rest is history guys came in  killed all the bad guys saved all the good guys um   you know i talked to the  guys that that worked on him you know the only positive um  out of the whole [ __ ] thing is   they got the hostage that's why you sign that's  why you go there is to do that mission only   um and to know that you gave your last  breath trying to save another human you know that's exactly who he is um  so it's an honor to know him   um but [ __ ] man i did not want him to go was that your hardest loss probably i am i didn't even process it i  didn't i um i still involved that [ __ ] i   [ __ ] threw up a wall so [ __ ] thick i did  and about five days later i ran all the uh   all the schwag so all the all the t-shirts  and the hats i made the shadow boxes i did the   going away [ __ ] and i had to go make his  shadow box and uh i had all his awards had   all this [ __ ] all the patches and all  the stuff we were going to put inside of uh inside his shadow box and i walked into john will  studio some guy that made all your deployment   plaques and i walked in i got a really good  relationship with him and all the ladies   working there and i walked in um and his number  two lifted her head up from the office walked   out and saw me and i was totally normal just like  this and she when i am so sorry and she said it i haven't cried like that probably  ever that was probably it um i dropped my [ __ ] knees man i was dry even he was such a good [ __ ] dude he was so talented  and he trained all the [ __ ] time and he was you   couldn't you couldn't have done better and  the reality he was gone i wasn't ready for   it i tried to wall it up try to pretend like it  didn't happen and then i try to make excuses like   why did that happen to him and then i had to  justify it to patsy why that's not going to   happen to me it's like i better cut out more  negative [ __ ] i better cut out everything   i've got to completely obsessed now like this is  what i have to do now and it just justified it   like we're playing for [ __ ] keeps man like  became another thing that i'd slide in there   like you know you want me to spend more time  at home you want me to do this i have to obsess   this is [ __ ] for real if i have a bad  day at the office that's what happens being the patsy who is a gold star wife and her  previous husband you know died uh killed in combat   did were able to lean on her a little bit more  would she uh like could you relate to her a lot   more than most guys could relate with their wives  and i mean yeah and especially because you know   because i grew up in the teams i grew up in  it i felt like i felt like i was much part of   that community as anything else um and yeah we  leaned heavy on each other and a lot of it was   she convinced me it was okay she's like dj  that dude loved everything he [ __ ] did   he loved it there's no there's nothing else  that you would have done if you would have   given him an option of dying at 80 in a [ __ ] bed  alone or dying on that he would have picked that   it's just dude he was like he doesn't want  you to be here depressed mourning him all day   he wants you to go [ __ ] get it on that's what  he wants he wants you to go back to [ __ ] work   and be as good as you can fair enough  and the obsession continued it's like   i wasn't touching myself i didn't know anything  about grieve i just i walled it up i did   we stopped talking about it we made uh we made  shrines for him we made memorial patches um we did   everything um but i had to go do the notification  and knock at his door for his fiance at the time   dude i don't know how people do that but uh i can  remember every detail of it it was [ __ ] terrible   we all met at my house um 7 00 am had me um will  chesney um and one of the guys um who was on   nick's new team who's an op chief we all met at  my house patsy was there she kind of gave us a   brief on kind of what to expect because we've done  notifications before for august 6 but you never   know so you know we kind of pow-wowed it like hey  who who's ringing the doorbell who's saying this   we're all in dress blues and it started pissing  down rain um it's like torrential downpour   in our shoes you know we wear the black horror  frame dress shoes it was so hot in virginia beach   when extortion happened from sitting on the tarmac  it had melted all our shoes it melted the heels   off so when we got out of the car and we took  a step all the heels blew off our core frames   and nick jack is a neat freak he's  ocd he's got white [ __ ] carpet so i get out i've got patsy in the car behind us  she's got uh groceries she's got starbucks she's   got a bunch of [ __ ] just uh like you're not  leaving a house for 48 hours here like this will   this will tide you over until we can figure out  what we're gonna do um because you're not a wife   it's kind of a weird you know predicament you're  in um so it's really like we had to take care of   her notification teams went out to the families  and all that but i remember ringing that doorbell   and hearing her upstairs directly above the front  door i remember hearing her walk down the stairs   turning the corner and as i got closer and  closer the footsteps got louder and louder   um and i was on a [ __ ] breath old man i did not  want that door to open i was hoping she wouldn't   answer it i was suddenly get turned around  and somebody else would have to do that and uh throw bull flips doorknob opens slowly starts  to crack and as soon as she [ __ ] saw she knew   she didn't cry she's looked at me kind  of cocked her head and like she knew me tell me and i [ __ ] came and i gave  her a big hug and [ __ ] balling   um and i told her we had a very um very um no [ __ ] conversation about  what's gonna happen over the next 72   hours um kind of everything  we need to to get done um then we kind of just went from there like  you got to go buy a [ __ ] dress you got to   go buy this you got to get this right now like  these are all the things that has to happen um   and you've got about 12 hours because this thing's  going to go and you're not going to have time so   whatever you need let's get on it right now  remember her making a comment on the black   uh shoe marks we track black [ __ ] all  throughout his house and she's like god   you're lucky he's dead or he'd [ __ ] kill you  i'll start laughing like no doubt stanley steamer   they were vacuuming the carpets and shed um we all  drove dc together we uh that was the coolest thing   um drove there and picked him up um same thing  we did for the guys at extortion we all drove   darren unison met all the planes and did all  that and she drove up there with us it was uh oh [ __ ] man just it's like one of those things  you just wanted to be over and you didn't because   now you have to do the memorial now you have  to get up and speak now you have to go through   all your photo albums and pick all the photos you  like they have to put into a montage you have to   watch it over and over and over now the family  starts to fly and you got to meet all of them   like it just it never ends it felt like  that that process was five years long like   i was [ __ ] crippled at the end of that one  um i just was i was in a [ __ ] bad spot um   some key people in the organization were  shifting out they were retiring they   were getting medically retired and i felt  the void i did with him being gone it um it really felt a void that takes us to 2013. so i think that transition from um from nick  dine until basically the rest of the career i um   confirmation bias everything i had ever said  everything i had ever told patsy was coming true   everything um i used to tell her  things um because i'd obsess um   i bet you in my entire time in the teams i bet  you i went into that building every day i've   been in virginia beach minus 25. every saturday  and sunday i'd go through there just to show face   to make sure my cage was still there like  i had to touch the magic every [ __ ] day   to make sure it was real damn i had to i was [  __ ] obsessed but it was good because everybody   else with me was just obsessed but i justified  to her i'd start to separate myself from her   separate myself from different friends  outside of the organization just   it was a linear focus this is it this is the only  thing that [ __ ] matters there's no distractions   and it reminded me of my childhood um  the only thing that matters is the team   like dad's got to go unemployment  you can't do this because of that   like you can't do this because it'll affect  deployment i can't get shoulder surgery because   i need to go undeployment i can't do this because  of that we can't take a vacation because of this   and i self-justified it um i was like no  one's going to die if i'm a 65 husband no one   like i'll be a husband when i retire would you  change anything looking back now doing that   yes and no um what would you change i would have retired sooner they try to retire  me in 2014. um i wish i would have let him   i was in such a [ __ ] bad spot man i just um i  let it take me don't let it take me um i don't   regret it some days i do but um i thought it  needed it i thought um i thought it was a worthy   cause man everything we did all the training  the late nights the early mornings um it gave   you a it gave you a purpose it did it gave you the  why and it became very easy to just judge people   like you don't work out you don't shoot  you don't care you're not a professional   you don't do this like get the [ __ ] away from  me i'm gonna surround myself with these dudes   because they only give a [ __ ] this is the only  thing that matters and it became addictive it did   because you got to see the performance you got  the feeling like i mean it's a measurable thing   like i started here and i ended here and i  only did that because i didn't let anything   else distract me there's no skateboarding just  no snowboard trips for me i couldn't justify it   i couldn't justify breaking my wrist and missing  deployment i couldn't justify wakeboarding and   blowing out an acl i couldn't justify it  i could justify the skydiving thanks it's   part of work it couldn't justify anything else i  couldn't justify drinking like any [ __ ] drink   two drinks in a single city like i haven't  been drunk since 2010. wow i don't do it   can i safely operate a vehicle can i speak  to the police can i discharge a firearm   can i provide life save medical aid  if the answer is yes i'm good to go   if i'm shit-faced i can't do  any of those that's a metric if i can't articulate my speech and police officer  to get you out of a [ __ ] jam i've gone too far i pull up on a car wreck on the side of the road  i gotta save him like in my [ __ ] face and that's   why i blow past him because i'm afraid i'll get a  dui that's not an answer that's not a professional   answer the answer is i don't have to worry about  that because i'm professional i'm not drunk   i'm professional i don't need to put  booze in my system i don't need to be   shitfaced at 2 30 in the morning that doesn't  make the group better yeah the group before   the individual became the standard and [ __  ] man it made it made life so much easier   just what you're doing now make the group better  no and why are you doing it true negative people   in your life static whatever does that mean what  were you doing to cope then because a lot of   people you know they cope with booze they cope  with drugs they cope you know all kinds of ways   to cope you had to be coping somehow so after i  broke that hip um i've got some painkillers um so long story short i'd i blew out that hip um  i rushed rehab i did and the way they put those   screws in um they lifted my t-band on the side of  your leg and pumped in the screws laid the it band   back and we did that 20 uh a 2012 deployment i  had a i had a pretty bad fall down the side of   a mountain and uh those screws came out and they  blew through my t-van um had to do another surgery   like it was bad um and the rehab came after that  it's on painkillers and i needed to be on them um   i had a bunch of surgeries that i needed to  get and i was just i was held together with   you know rigor statement chewing gum i was  banged up man and um started eating tramadol   and everything else and it just it became a  norm like i wasn't high i just i didn't want   to feel the way i felt like i'd wake up in the  morning it's like i feel like this at 32 holy   [ __ ] you're just numb to it yeah you just how  much terminal were you taking you know [ __ ] then i mean i even 300 milligrams of pop like that oh  i had your [ __ ] done several a day oh yeah but   it's like i didn't realize what it was doing  because it wasn't uh it wasn't a narcotic you   couldn't be addicted to it [ __ ] yeah you  get addicted to not feeling pain that's what   you get addicted to um and i didn't realize it  but that continued from essentially 10 until when i retired like 18. um yeah i rode that train for a while  tram it all and uh i'm just curious how did you   know how did you know it was an issue what what  happened with me personally i know was an issue   when i ran out and i felt what what that felt  like without having any and uh that [ __ ] hurts i that yeah um so i just came back from a deployment um into a nasty firefight a bad one a lot of really  close proximity [ __ ] ate a bunch of grenades   um the long and short of it was um because of  the proximity to it we had to use some breaching   charges and some ordnance essentially on top of  yourself to get out of this certain situation   and it [ __ ] us up man like no i pro no ear pro  i mean grenade's landing between me and you boom   just a cumulative effect these little concussions  that blew out both ears um oh man i mean just   um by the by the end of it um i've blown  out both ears i've torn both labrums and   both shoulders both hip labrums gone um crunch  a bunch of [ __ ] in my lower back and my neck   so i needed to have surgery on both  shoulders and both hips and my back   by the time the whole thing was done  and i didn't realize how bad it was [ __ ] i don't know do we get into it do we talk  about them no let's get into it okay [ __ ] it   we uh so the backside of this is we had a  dude um that did the the canyon mall attack   remember that so it's that dude um so it's  around the horn africa and we are going to go   get this dude it's a president-directed mission  so it's a big one um the biggest one that i've   ever done for sure um intel's painting uh  painted pictures it's maybe not accurate   beachside bungalow like he goes here to watch  tv hang out be super benign in and out cool   not the [ __ ] case we get there we've planned  we've rehearsed and we've done all our [ __ ] i um   i'm running the primary breech on the  first floor i go up and over the gate   i should probably start off with uh we  swam in so that's a whole different set   of problems um we swam in a uh a slaughterhouse  offshoot um so you can imagine all the great   white sharks it's a real [ __ ] thing um  that's the fastest i ever swam in my life so we swam in we do our whole thing i  go up and over um and i mess around with   the locking mechanism on the gate to try to  get it open and there's a string going from   the gate it looks like it's going inside um  and now i think that was a an early warning   device i think it was hooked to a  battle it was hooked to something we get the gate open we bring everybody in  and as we are rolling up to the front door   they start getting contacted on the roof guy  comes out shoots skips off one of the guy's   helmet now the firefighting suits and it's three  stories and it's getting [ __ ] chaotic dude like   they have been prepping for this for a long [  __ ] time and this is not a beat side bungalow   there's uh there's no doors they're all walled  up from the inside just nothing to attack you   can't see anything it's like i'm trying to get the  door open but you don't know where the hinges are   you don't know what it is it's just huge um super  thick door [ __ ] man it probably must have been   six inches thick this is a [ __ ] fortress it's  a [ __ ] fortress it's a [ __ ] it's a literal   fortress um they start getting contact on  the roof and we sprint up the front door   and as we go to divide this dude opens up on the  front door and lets it go and just you just see   splinters of wood and just [ __ ] traces us and  doesn't hit anybody we roll to either side and   now we're trying to deal with this problem  um the hate coming out of that front door   was nothing like i've ever seen it just continuous  ascended in and the way it ended up being was a   long wall the door in the center i'm on one side  and i've got my shooting buddy on the other side   i've got my team leader behind me and we're trying  to figure this out like we have to get inside   but we're not supposed to kill this dude that  was the whole thing is for whatever reason the   powers to be really wanted us dude alive and  the last thing they told us before we went   i i would rather you shoot him a hundred times  and he lives then shoot him one time and he dies   bring him back alive well i'm [ __ ] committed  we all are we're gonna bring that dude back   alive we came up with every plan we could have  um and at the end of the day if you don't be   captured you're not capturing dude you're just  not um especially in that part of the world   with just how violent they are i mean  you've seen blackhawk down that's the most   realistic war movie i've ever [ __ ] watched  that's exactly how it is they are [ __ ]   and they come on quick so we're in this we're  in this [ __ ] storm in the middle of the door and i'm trying to decide how i'm going to blow  this thing i've got my charge in my hand it's   already capped in um i've got my hydrogel peeled  i'm ready to stick this thing and i'm timing   between his burst coming through the door so you  see it all chew up like three two one goes live   again [ __ ] man you're just timing it he finally  goes and i slap this thing and there's nowhere to   roll there's just nothing to do um you gotta eat  it it's like luckily for me the guy behind me is   super experienced we all are very experienced  preachers and we knew we could take it we've   been there before just unfortunate turn  your head and exhale and send it and uh   that concussion blew out everybody's ears we  were all done um and when it blew i could see the   locking mechanism behind it was it looked like a  [ __ ] railroad tie was stuck down so big new york   lock and we weren't getting through it but it blew  out a slat about waist high down about this wide and grenades started coming out of it accurate   so the way it was it's the front door and is a  long ass hallway going down and there's a dude   who's in a sandbag position with a belt fed at the  end of the hallway and it's just chewing down the   hallway there's a dude in the first room off to  the right who's shooting at us through the window   so i've got my shooting buddy pinned he's taking  fire over this shoulder he's taking fire down the   hallway and he can't move you can't do anything  it's like a big railing we've got all the rest of   the guys on so we're the only three that are stuck  on there we're trying to get this door open um let me back up when i place the charge i  roll back and i look at him and i was like   turning steel and i turned my head and i blew  it and when i looked back up he was gone and i   looked down and i saw the hole and i thought he  went and i to my knees and i start going for the   door and my team leaders pulling me back i guess  he had jumped over the wall um i thought he went   and i was not gonna let  that [ __ ] dude go alone so   i'm on my hands and knees trying to crawl through  this [ __ ] hole and uh he's pulling me back   like we're good we're good well now we can't get  out um this thing's been going on for a couple   minutes the guys on the second deck are in the  same [ __ ] storm the guys on the roof are in   the exact same thing now there's people that are  surrounding us we're taking fire from the whole   thing's getting dicey um and we've got to [ __ ]  leave like we can't sit here and do this for no 10   more minutes like you're not going to let us kill  this guy we can we've got to get out unfortunately   for us the only egress route was directly behind  us which is directly in line with that dude's pk   so the only way out is to run straight through  his alley can't go up and over the walls there's   not enough time we don't have enough ladders  and quite a few guys inside the courtyard um   we're trading grenades back and forth to this  dude and it finally comes time the enemy qrf   is upon us and they're in technicals  heading our way and we gotta [ __ ] go so look at the tl what do you want man  he's like get ready for an rpg like [ __ ]   i mean like bells already rang like we've  got [ __ ] coming out of our nose like we're   we're super concussed um and we ate uh for the  guys that know i mean we had a 1200 grain ect   from arm's length away jesus no we were pro  and we just sent it i mean i know what that   charge is going to do the over pressure is going  to [ __ ] me up but it's not going to blow me up   i know what that charge is doing what  it won't and i was confident in it um   and we had to send it there was no other way i  wasn't going to turn around and leave without   giving it every every bit effort i  could and i looked back at him and   i don't know how the [ __ ] we're gonna get out  of here it's like get a t-bone so my buddy was uh   down in the courtyard he had a t-bomb because  we had to swim in a bunch of this [ __ ] so   we had spread loaded a bunch of stuff um so i'd  already launched one in and i looked at him and   we did a we did a real world flea flicker which  is one of the coolest things i've ever seen like   [ __ ] threw it across the doorway caught  it untape it and launched it um but it was   funny it was so funny to see uh the tl he's  like pushing on the walls he's like doing the   doing the the math in his head like this  many queer square feet the concussion this   over pressure what's it gonna do to us and  um we launched it we sent a bunch of rounds   down there and basically called for xfil like  hey i'm gonna i'm gonna let this thing loose   this over pressure charge and then when it  goes boom we're all gonna take off and run   and that's what we did and i'm doing the peekaboo  thing he's shooting i'm trying to see where he is   and i finally see it and i've got that t-bond  lucky running pulled a pen and i launched the   most beautiful toss i've ever had and uh when i  turned the over pressure was so bad it blew me   off the porch and we took off at a dead run  as fast we could go had a big uh a big guy   there blow through the gate we didn't even open  the gate everybody came up and over that's how   it was taking too long we didn't have time to  [ __ ] with it so he shouldered the gate and   blew through it that's how we got out and that  dude never skipped a beat firing at pk never wow   like i'm i threw a t-bomb essentially  what i thought in that dude's lap nothing   continued i don't know how he didn't shoot  us i don't know how he didn't shot one of the   recky guys off the ladder um like chewing up the  wall that he was on i mean [ __ ] crazy just the   continuous hate that was coming out of the thing  um when we made it back down we got a quick head   count we had everybody there the the enemies  massing um and we've got to get the [ __ ] out   um and the surf was shitty so the extract platform  long story short gets rolled over and surfs them   so now this whole thing um it happens in on xvil  um just in the in the confusion and everything   else just trying to get boats in alignment and  i mean we had dudes get not left out at sea but   basically like this is such a [ __ ] show right  now and it is so [ __ ] dangerous we're just going   to swim as far as we can we turn on an iris strobe  we just swam got picked up by a bunch of x-fil   platforms and everything else but in the course  of that um essentially the only way to get out is   i grabbed a hold of the bow line and i wrapped it  around my my wrist and i had them tow me out on   the zodiac and when they picked up enough speed  the weight it spun me and it popped my shoulder   so now my arm is essentially paralyzed  like it's not working it's like   holy [ __ ] i do the exact same thing and i wrap  it up with this one the same thing like oh my god   now i'm treading water like i've  got use of my arms but it feels like   it feels like it dislocated like it feels  strange um an exorbitant amount of pain   we get on a jet ski round two and that thing  flips and because we're straddling it the weight   flipped with such force it blew out this  um blew out the uh the leg of my right hip   and my left hip so now i'm essentially bobbing  like a bag of [ __ ] jesus christ so me and my   swim buddy we make it out we get on there we  we do our debrief they strip us down naked um   with all those frags that we ate everything  none of the frags stuck in us i mean we were   super concussed we were [ __ ] up but you could  brush it and it was like uh like metal shavings   everywhere it was like it was like god came  down and just said not today i mean it was   every inside your ears inside your eyelids [ __  ] everywhere i mean it was the strangest thing um   we got back on we started doing like the  tbi reporting um you know what's your name   and i was feeling [ __ ] weird the three guys  were on that porch were feeling very weird um   and you couldn't explain it um because  i mean i've been knocked out a bunch   with fight club and skateboarding like i am  no stranger concussion this is very different   um i went into a med check and they shined the  eyes uh the white light in my eyes and i threw   up and then i started getting scared i still  can't hear [ __ ] both my ears are perfect um   i've got a bunch of other wounds pre-existing  that are nasty i've got a nasty stomach infection   like an open wound that i had we had a surgically  super glue before we did it so i had all kinds of   [ __ ] i was battling anyway and it kept getting  worse we finally got back to base five days later   and i remember laying in my bed with my sunglasses  on wanting to die um i didn't know what the   [ __ ] was going on with me i couldn't make rhyme  or reason i um i couldn't get my thoughts together   i couldn't get anything i couldn't be there for  the debrief i was just i was [ __ ] out of it   and i didn't know what was going on and they  drove me to a french hospital out in town   and they ran a ct scan in the back of my skull  right back here was jet black in my brain and uh   the uh the doctor came back and she's like  what what is that i was like i don't know you   tell me and she's like i don't know how you're  standing right now she's like that's a major   that's a major blow to the back of your  head nothing hit me in the back of the head   she's like well something didn't  i don't remember any of that um   i remember seeing the mri and i remember just  telling like that's just over pressure man   like that's just over pressure and um they  said whatever they did um they got documented   you know we finished all that and we fly home um  i'm on the next flight home taking his deployment   that's the last thing to happen we fly home and  i land and i have a six-month-old waiting for me   i land i drive straight home and there is a  newborn laying in that crib be dad and dude   the next 48 hours of my [ __ ] life um i  didn't know what to say i just i couldn't   everything started to go to [ __ ] i couldn't  remember that i couldn't remember my wife's name   i couldn't remember my daughter's name  um i got lost driving a [ __ ] work   you've been a virginia beach i called my wife  one time in the [ __ ] norfolk scope parking lot   crying my eyes out i don't know where  the [ __ ] i'm at amnesia set in   um i'd wake up in places um i'd go to drive  to work on a sunday and i'd end up at uh like the farmer's market i call pat's  like i don't know where the [ __ ] i'm at   i couldn't remember anything um and i had no  rhyme or reason i couldn't say it to anybody   but everybody else was having the  exact same [ __ ] thing going on   um and it was only getting worse every day it  would get worse and with the headaches were so bad   the photophobia was so bad i wore sunglasses  for years i did until we got it under control um   i remember i remember coming to one day i  was in the gym um out in town wife doing   crossfit or some [ __ ] and i woke up i'm  flat on my back and i'm looking up at her   and she's kneeling over me and she is bawling  her eyes out like tears are falling on my face   and i look at her i was like what what's going  on she's like where the [ __ ] have you been   she's like you've been laying it for 15 minutes i don't remember going to the gym i don't  remember doing anything i don't remember   anything about that morning i remember that night  i remember [ __ ] um like my long-term memory   people places things like it's it escapes me   it does and it was getting real bad and we had  a we had a heavy breaching trip coming up and um   my boss at the time knew i was in a [ __ ] jam  like he knew i was um he didn't know how bad but   he's like i don't think you should go on this  breach and trip man he's like you you're good   you're current there's no reason to ring your bell  anymore than you need to just take some time off okay and i didn't want to and i end up going down  to medical to uh fill out some kind of paperwork   or something i'm having a conversation with one  of the docs there and um i don't know how i said   it i don't know what i said but it was something  to the effect of i don't know if i'm gonna kill   myself or kill my wife but there's something  going on with me you have to [ __ ] stop me   and the next thing i remember is the command doc  the command psych who's a [ __ ] angel my boss   are sitting in a chair with their hands on my  shoulder giving me value telling me it'll be okay   and then i go to niko so my trip to nike was not  um not something i wanted um i was in a bad jam   and when i when i showed up there i didn't know  i didn't know what was going on with me i had no   idea well before we get into niko i talked to your  uh wife for maybe 45 minutes the other day and uh   she had some kind of intuition uh while while  that op was going on that you were in trouble   she said she just felt something  and uh sure should she was right   so you got home she said uh one of  the first things she noticed was   your dinner was right in front of and you  didn't even realize it and you're asking when   when the [ __ ] are we gonna have dinner  she's like dinner's right in front of you   she uh she took one i'd pull up uh i pulled  videos on her phone because i know she was   sending to people um i mean it was a video  specifically i was cutting steak and it was   like six minutes just over and over the same  piece just cutting it i'd join these trances um   and i remember it now like going into a  trance and telling myself to come out of it   and i couldn't it just i'd forget to come out  of it i would i just i'd lose track of time um i just i didn't know i thought it was going [ __  ] crazy and then it was the whole cte thing was   coming on board and it's like yep this is exactly  what this [ __ ] is like everything got super dark   um oh [ __ ] man i'd set my uh i just wanted  to die i did i've i wanted to [ __ ] die and   i didn't know why um i had to pitch a perfect  life had a badass wife gorgeous kid dream job   my life was heaven and all i wanted to do  was die yeah i didn't know why i'd sit in   my guest room with that [ __ ] dog of mine  and uh i talked to him i would like that   that dog saved me more times than any [ __ ] thing  else dude i'd sit there and um the obsession over   the details are probably what saved me the most  because i think about putting patsy through that   i think about the reality of shooting myself  in the scene it would make in this house   the mess it would make that she's going  to have to clean that up what am i   what's my kid going to find out what  are they going to say when they find out   and i didn't just not doing it but i wanted to  and then i started to turn into other things like   i got to get my rocks off somehow like what's my  outlet going to be like threading the needle like   that was the only thing that made me feel alive is  the sketchier [ __ ] would go the more i liked it man it just that tv actually  gets away from you fast it um and nobody talks about it yeah sit in  those [ __ ] rooms and i know those dudes   feel the exact same way i do and they're  not saying anything um and they never did   i think that started to drive a wedge because  i needed it so bad i needed someone to confirm   that i wasn't going [ __ ] crazy and because the   because of the teams you know not  want to show weakness no one did   and i thought i was alone other people you know  they check in they do this they do that but it   didn't matter like i'm not i'm not telling anybody  i'm [ __ ] up i'm just wondering why no one else   has anything wrong with them yeah like none  of this [ __ ] ever affects you nothing you're   not human no you never get headaches nope you  ever feel weird after a full day breaching nope you ever piss blood nope hmm you forget where the  [ __ ] you're at nope maybe i am crazy maybe i   am the only [ __ ] one that drove me way down  the [ __ ] rabbit hole because now i've spent   my entire life to hit a [ __ ] pinnacle and i  can't remember anything it's all escaping me   um yeah i mean patsy uh she called command she  called my boss and she's like you have no idea   what the [ __ ] is going on with him she's like  he's gonna kill himself she's like he needs you   guys right [ __ ] now we have to figure this out  and nike was very new um on the scene right then   so that was uh 2014. went inpatient niko for 30  days and they did a whole work up on me and put me   on all kinds of fancy uh prescriptions and uh they  helped they did um i thought i was having seizures   i didn't know what a panic attack was um i didn't  know what uh real anxiety was i remember sitting   in the chow hall and um i remember sweating  into uh into my food and people looking at me   like sweating through my beard um because of so  much sensory overload in that [ __ ] cafeteria   chomping chewing hitting the fork banging  the dude in the back washing pots and pans   it all just consumed me and i just sat  there and i just started [ __ ] sweating   like [ __ ] man i get the [ __ ] outta the  [ __ ] out of here and i'd have to leave   and i tried to make not a big deal but  it was a big deal because i was so low   actually i wasn't so low just no one [ __ ] tell  me yeah um so yeah they uh we went up to nika we   did the full workup got put on um a bunch of  different meds probably 15 15 prescriptions um   got put on a stimulant so adderall to kind of keep  me focused which helped cymbalta um we did zoloft   we did everything practicing at night to stop the  dreams we did beta blockers we did everything and   basically ran that concoction along with tramadol  and everything else basically the duration and it   wasn't until the very end when i got hurt one more  time when i realized what that [ __ ] actually was let's take a break there so all right so we're back from niko today you got  the prescriptions did they give you any insight as   to what was going on with you medically yeah they  um they went through you know full body head to   toe every mri contrast i mean everything you could  do to the human body they ran test for um had a   couple spots on a brain but nothing crazy but they  also back it up with we've had people come in here   in wheelchairs pushing themselves around on  straws with no spots in our brain so they couldn't   really make rhyme or reason just concussion  operator syndrome a bunch of that kind of stuff   the tbi um ocular stuff so i um the over pressure  messed up my right eye so i can't really focus it   so they called it tbi related ocular  dysfunction so i've got to wear glasses   like if i really try to dial in a shot it  all goes to a haze i can't do a super finite   focus so it makes shooting kind of weird my depth  perception is kind of off but i'm used to it now   and then i had five surgeries had to get you want  to do both shoulders both hips and my lower back   um the neck was a they wanted to do a um [ __ ] i can't remember um some kind of surgery on my neck  um and i did not want to do it   all the docs were like hey if  you can get by then push it off   like i didn't want to get surgery i don't want  to miss a deployment we were gearing back up   i mean i was in that thing for 30 days like i was  going [ __ ] crazy all this [ __ ] is happening   to you and you're worried about missing a [ __ ]  diploma that's the only [ __ ] thing i care that's   why i was so pissed i was like why can't i just go  to portsmouth right up the road and come to work   every day and i didn't realize what niko was it's  to get away from the phone decompress completely   and it was [ __ ] rough man that um i was not  i was not good with that [ __ ] to be able to   pull the phone away because you're glued to it  um you're waiting for that thing to ring the   city come to work all [ __ ] day and it becomes um  on my nightly routine dude i'd uh i'd check that   phone team guys exaggerate this is no exaggeration  i bet you i checked that phone 50 times a day   damn to make sure my battery was charged was  my was the charging cable plugged in right   like all that different [ __ ] like i have  a i have a serious phobia with being late   like an unhealthy one and the thought of  missing a movement was not a [ __ ] option   um i wouldn't go on family vacations that  involve flying or long-distance travel   if we had a trip coming up like no i can't miss  work i can't do it so we get there and um we're   in niko and we're doing the whole thing and that  facility was amazing um from the acupuncture to i   mean everything they did there was amazing um  and they [ __ ] saved me i was in a bad spot   and they see all kinds of people that staff really  been over backward to me and i think it's because   they um they saw where i worked they saw how  young i was and they saw how devastated i was   that um i was potentially done and they came  in at the end of 30 days they diagnosed me with   all kinds of crazy [ __ ] um i mean everything  and they recommend that i get medically retired   he's like hey it's not going to get better  dude he's like you need major surgery all over   and they almost got me they uh they almost got me  they pulled a guilt trip and they were like do you   think you can perform your best i like this and  i knew the answer was no um but my ego caught me   and i went [ __ ] outperform you give me these  meds let me go see and dude i i ran hard i ran   full tilt for the next four years from 14 to 18 as  hard as i could go never missed a day at work um   the best time of my life what did your  wife think she wants you to retire   yeah because what nobody else saw is what  i was like at home um i was [ __ ] vile man   i spit venom out of my mouth all  day long i was just [ __ ] hateful   i hated everything anything that wasn't to do  with work i didn't want anything to do with it um   you know my daughter was a burden being  married was a burden having a dog was a burden   you know having to do taxes was a [ __ ] burden  like why can't you just let me be like one of   the 300 [ __ ] spartans and let me just do this  this is my profession can everybody just cater   to me and walk around and [ __ ] fan me that's  what i wanted i did like my ego consumed me and anything that potentially could derail me or  um slow me down in any way was not an option   it just wasn't i couldn't let it happen um and  the only way to obsess over work and i felt and   do it at the full commitment that i needed to was  to have no attachments so i emotionally started   to separate from my wife my kids um you know  i tried to play the game when i came home but   it wasn't i was thinking about work the  entire time i didn't want to change diapers   um it was just it was i wanted  a kid so [ __ ] bad with her and in 2013 i got one and i was [ __ ] i was  through the [ __ ] roof man i've never been so   happy my whole life and i went overseas she was  you know two months old and i got hurt and when   i came back i just it ate me alive and when  i went to nike it got even worse now i'm i'm   separated now they're telling me there's something  wrong with me and it's not going to get better   now i look at my family and i start to  resent him like you [ __ ] did this to me   if i wasn't thinking about being a [ __ ]  father i wasn't thinking about being a husband   that probably wouldn't [ __ ] happen to  me i started a blame shift on everybody   that's what i did um i threw my walls back  up like yep we're gonna lean forward in this   i'm gonna give this thing everything i  can and i'm gonna ride this [ __ ] all   the way through i never in a million  years thought i'd get medically retired   never i'd never [ __ ] let him no  there's no [ __ ] way i'm too hurt   but i'm medicated i'm fine like i'm good  um i was shooting immature x probably   five six times a week auto injectors for migraines  um i was taking essentially a lethal dose of   maxill for migraines supposed to take three a week  i'd take three a day um i was in a [ __ ] jam man   when the sun would come up and crest my world  ended when that sunlight hit my eyes it was over   were you deploying with all this yep i wore  sunglasses all the time medicated um it got   real bad one night um it was probably 10 o'clock  at night um i walked into the uh walked into   the kitchen and i don't know why i don't know  what the [ __ ] i was doing but i hit the uh   i hit the microwave and the light came on and  hit my eyes just right and i [ __ ] collapsed   i pissed myself started dry heaving i'm in the  fetal position just shaking um i was shaking so   hard and i didn't know why i couldn't control  it it felt like i was gonna break my own hands   it was all i could do it was like i was trying  to pop my own head off by squeezing everything   as tight as i could um and i hadn't had a migraine  like that in a while um because i stayed doped up   all the time i was constantly taking maxall and  amitrix and everything else and i thought i had   him at bay and this [ __ ] thing hit me dude and  it uh she was trying to call 9-1-1 i'm screaming   at her i'm calling her every name in the book  um don't you [ __ ] dare she's that was her big   threat she's like i'm gonna call you troop chief  don't you [ __ ] dare don't you [ __ ] dare um and she should have i wasn't [ __ ] i was  in a bad spot man um and everything on me   hurt it's like you said if i um if i'd miss  a dose of tramanol i felt everything i had   i'd go to the gym in the morning and i'd fake it  and i was [ __ ] miserable like i had never felt   that much pain i got diagnosed with a fibromyalgia  when i was uh when i was up there and for the ones   that don't know it's uh it's basically a made-up  term it's when you have agonizing pain and they   can't tell you why they label it fibromyalgia  but for me um it felt like i had shin splints   on every ounce of my body um like when you shook  my hand it felt like you were breaking my hands   my feet when i would walk i could feel  it it felt like my feet were splintering   um it was terrible every step i took i was  just an agonizing [ __ ] pain so i just   ate painkillers all day and i masked  it and i trained and i deployed and   i didn't every trip i could anything to  get me away from virginia beach to just   escape reality and it didn't pay off um i was i  was hurt a lot worse than i really thought i was   um i mean i felt bad i didn't realize um it was  only a matter of time before i all came apart   i'd go through these long  bouts of depression weeks on in   um i wouldn't want to speak i'd  sit there i wouldn't want to eat   i'd lose motivation i wouldn't want to go  work out and then i'd start to make excuses you know when you lose focus on the why you know  you don't have the target set you want you don't   have funding you don't have the leadership you  want you don't have this you don't have that   and you lose focus on why you're actually there  because none of that [ __ ] [ __ ] matters   the enemy hopes you're not training he hopes  you don't have funding he hopes you haven't   seen the inside of the gym in two [ __ ] weeks  he hopes you don't know where your guns are   right now that's what he's hoping and i let it  consume me and i just started to hate everything and then i found skydiving um did you start doing  that recreational yeah um i really started to   obsess over it like that was that was kind of  my thing when i was uh at the command anyway   um i wanted to be a breacher that's all  i wanted to be [ __ ] love breaching   and the team i rolled into had a bunch of badass  breaches already they don't need another one   they need a guy to run all the air stuff so i went  way down the jump rabbit hole and um the only bad   thing about that is it's so far removed um from  what the teams are because it's such a civilian   dominated sport that i started to hang out with  everybody who wasn't king guy i'd go on these   long trips to arizona to support courses and you  know i'd four or five hundred jumps a year and um   wanted to start competing and and that was so  unlike me to do anything outside of work the   fact that i would go recreation skydive like  that's that's what my wife said she said what   the [ __ ] are you doing i was like i'm doing  it for work i'm doing it because they asked me   i don't need you to be a breacher i need you  to be an air subject matter expert i need you   to be the best jumper in the room done if  you had asked me to be a [ __ ] dental tech   i'd be a tier one [ __ ] dental tech it didn't  matter that's what you wanted me to do and   that's what i'm gonna do and i obsessed over it  i spent a lot of personal money and a [ __ ] ton   of time out there jumping and wind tunnel and  got all my instructor certifications and you   know throwing out tandems and everything else  and but it started to remove me from the group   i started running a bunch of solo projects or me  or one or two guys and we'd go out there and we'd   just jump we'd go do a hundred jumps in a week and  we jumped um and it really started to take a toll   on the family life like i was gone a lot i can  remember um her sick as a [ __ ] dog like puking   over the toilet and begging me not to go on  this trip and i looked at her no sympathy gotta go i didn't have to go that was a  made-up trip that was a fun trip for me   and we'd have a work trip to start on  monday i'd fly out the friday before   and i'd get a whole week and we'll jump in with  all my friends and the work trip would start   and then i'd stay late so i turned a two-week  trip into three-week trip so was it the fun you   were after or was it just getting the [ __ ] out  of uh he was getting the [ __ ] out of virginia   beach it was something completely different that i  didn't have to answer to anybody for it was my own   um completed separate group of friends  who didn't know me didn't didn't give a   [ __ ] about my background maybe they knew they  didn't ask they didn't care about the politics   they didn't care about what happened overseas they  just they liked me for me and they like skydiving   and i use that as an outlet but i really  used to just separate myself from my family   and um just i threw up another wall like i had  my virginia beach life and i had my jump life   and i'm just running straight this way and um  she hated i mean she begged me she bagged me   stopped going stopped jumping stop doing  this stop doing that and i wouldn't   i couldn't i was so addicted to it and it wasn't  even jumping itself it was just escaping reality   when i'm flying around when i'm jumping these  super small parachutes and doing whatever   i'm escaping reality my reality is i am [ __ ]  miserable and i am waiting to die and i'm just   unhappy i don't have any justification for it i  can't make rhyme or reason but if i say anything   they're definitely going to kick me out of  here so i'm going to suffer in silence and   i'm going to run this [ __ ] thing until  the wheels fall off that's what i did i ran it all away what was the wake-up call was  it the accident i um i went down to florida me   and my shooting buddy a couple of the guys we were  doing a civilian skydive trip it's like a big camp   um it's a certain type of free flying we were  doing and um it was amazing great time but i   was so broken from everything else um things  you just don't realize um so we're on a we're   on the first day of the jump trip and we're  flying in a uh a formation it's called upright   basically you're standing and you're flying across  the sky on two feet and flying that way and you   have to lean back with your arm as far as you  can you have to press down into the relative wind   to get the throw to launch you forward so it's  understanding all the details and everything else   you know it's trick flying but it's fun you build  a lot of speed and i was so broken up top um   i left the video too i leaned back as far as i  could and we're hauling ass and all of a sudden   i flip over and i feel a weird pop and my  chin locks to my shoulder i'm in free fall   and i can't move my arm it's pinned behind my back  i'm like what the [ __ ] i roll over and i start   to track away to try to get away from the group  we're probably at 7 000 feet and we're taking it   low and we exit at 14 000 feet so we're you know a  little over halfway through the skydive but that's   the dangerous part is when we have to break away  so we don't open on top of each other and i turn   i track away and i go to pull and i can't pull  my hands at a knot it's locked up i can't deploy   i jump a small parachute anyway  and i'm not a packet of peanuts um   so i had to open up my reserve and i  open that thing up and it's super small   and that's something you don't think about  having to land a small parachute with one   hand so i lift my arm up and i unstow the toggles  and i i loop it in here and i'm flying super um   super casual pattern on the way in i come in  with one hand i land i get up and i've got   a jump suit on and my arm is paralyzed like it's  it's hanging down on my hip i don't know what the   [ __ ] is going on but the only thing that kept  coming up in my mind is they were concerned on   uh taking cymbalta taking the tram at all in three  or four of the medications that i've been taking   forever and they're like you have to stop taking  that or you're gonna stroke out man like you'll   have a [ __ ] stroke i thought that's what  it was i thought i had a stroke mid-free fall   i mean like when i came down i was pinned like  this i couldn't do [ __ ] i couldn't lift my arm i   couldn't do anything they couldn't get my jumpsuit  off when they did my humeral head was down to here   so what happened is i reached my arms back to  fly and my arm dislocated through my armpit   so humor head attached and it came through my  armpit that's a very bad dislocation it's very   hard to reset especially when um a little bigger  than it's probably like you know bigger and uh   i landed on the ground and i remember standing  on my hand trying to lift up to try to pop it   it still hadn't hit my mind that my shoulders  have sucked i've never had one dislocate like   that i've had them in and out but not like that um  my teammates here he's like dude what the [ __ ]   i don't know what to do we've got an er a  mile and a half down the road i was like   i'm going i jump in a rental car and i drive  myself right to the er i'm still in my jumpsuit   um they go up on the next lift they continue  jumping i check myself in the er i tell them what   happened and they spend two hours trying to get  this thing back in socket let me preface this i   pride myself on my pain tolerance it's world class  i can take an extraordinary amount of pain i can   that [ __ ] oh my god that dude cranked on my  shoulder i was sweating i was dry even um i   wanted to [ __ ] die he was bad and uh finally  they gave me um propofol whatever it is knocked   me out reset it and they put me in a sling he's  like hey gotta go back i'm freaking out because   i don't want to tell work what has happened so  now my little hamster wheels going around like   i don't have to tell anybody about this like  we're good i drive back out to the drop zone i   see all the instructors all all the guys like what  happened [ __ ] arm came out like jesus and all   the guys like hey man we'll refund you for your  for the camp because you can't jump the [ __ ] are   you talking about i'm jumping he's like you can't  jump your shoulder just came out stockings like   i'm jumping i'll take the rest of  the day off i'll be back tomorrow   we went out to uh when that's like a food line  or whatever and bought a bunch of kt tape and   youtubed it and kt taped my shoulder in place um  put on a quasi brace that we bought from you know   whatever pin my shoulder and just taped it so  all i could do was deploy and i could reach up   um and i could grab my toggles and i could steer  it which made landing very uh very challenging   because i jump a high performance parachute so i  really have to be able to control this thing and i   just let my go get a hold of me and i didn't give  a [ __ ] they uh i showed the next morning they   did not want me to jump we had a conversation and  uh we settled on a wager if you can do 10 pull-ups   right now i'll let you jump and i jumped on that  bar and did tim pull up so [ __ ] fast and he went   go ahead i put my suit back on i went up and did  a jump very gingerly um not getting real dynamic   did a second one did a third one did a fourth  one and on the fourth one i got a little cocky   and i leaned into it a little bit too  much on final bringing in the parachute   and it popped out of socket again the exact same thing through the armpit the exact  same [ __ ] way and the instructor looked at me   because it's not common to fall on landing um not  at that level and they looked at me and gave me a   weird look and i was like i was like getting more  [ __ ] banana peels out here trying to you know   brush it off and then i looked at him i was like  hey man like i kind of tweaked my neck on that   opening i'm just gonna sit out the rest of the day  and i walked around that dz for an hour faking it   because i was so [ __ ] embarrassed and i was like  yeah you know guys let me go back to the hotel   i'll be back in an hour to pick you guys up and i  drove straight over the er now in civilian clothes   had changed and i walked in the exact same doctor  is working the exact same desk and looks at me   he went looking to do you for i was  like i was putting on this t-shirt   my my shoulder came out we got to put it back in  and he looked at me and smiled and he reached out   and grabbed a blade of grass out of my ear and  went getting dressed out in the field are we   come on went back knocked me  out popped it back in place   um and i didn't jump the rest of that trip i  couldn't it was so bad um and i knew how bad it   was like the amount of pain it was going through  my body was uncommon and it couldn't be good   we get back to the command i walk into rehab  and i tell them i was like hey man i got some   serious [ __ ] going on he's like oh we'll go in  there we've got you know great shoulder surgeons   um super experienced and we went in there  and looked at that thing and he went   dude this is gonna be the one like this  is it like whatever we'll do a quick one   it wasn't a quick one we um we went  and did that shoulder surgery we uh   we did the mumford we cut out a section  by collarbone we did the bicep tendonisis   so relocating my bicep tendon we put in  two anchors in the front five in the back   i got a nasty infection we found out that i'm  allergic to the waterproof bandages they put on   me so i got a folliculitis almost like cellulitis  just gnarly infections all over me dude like bad   and the rehab process after shoulder surgery  is not fun it's long you can't rush it takes   six months and by the time i got done with that  um the medical paperwork had already been pushed   he's like you got to do the exact same thing to  the left and we've still got to do both your hips   like we got to fuse your neck we got to fuse  your lower back like that's it man and i was   in so much pain at that point when we  got done with that shoulder surgery um not throw anybody into the bus but i i will  they forgot to do my nerve block when i got   that shoulder surgery so i went in we do the  whole thing and i wake up in a recovery room   and this that operation's supposed to be two hours  and i was in there almost six long [ __ ] surgery   a bunch of stuff in here a bunch of bone fragments  are floating around um your shoulder dislocates   and slams back in it chips away the corners  i've got a couple four millimeter pieces of   bone floating around in there they can't get to um  four millimeters uh-huh yeah so my humor had just   broke off big chunks of it now it's just free  floating in there just grinding everything out   so i wake up in this shoulder surgery you  get your arm pinned you're in the sling   and i wake up and i'm overcome by it like if you  would have had a pistol sitting on the thing i   would have shot myself it it's indescribable  how bad that pain was it was it was everything   it was reality and that doctor walked  over and he's like how you feeling i've never felt this much pain in my entire life  he's like nerve block not help did you do one his eyes get real big and he looks  at me he's like i'll be right back   he leaves comes back three minutes later  with two other doctors and uh he's like hey   so we decided not to give you the nerve block  now we're gonna give it to you post surgery   so it'll be more effective for you okay and they  free they freehand the same use you do it under um   um under like an x-ray or whatever you know  what i mean yeah um and they don't they just   drop this thing in they hit me this is fine right  what's that it's from the spine right they did it   through my neck through your neck yeah so you hit  some nerve bundle just above your collarbone it   basically just paralyzes everything from here to  here okay so he misses it and a couple minutes   later i remember sitting there and doing touch and  goes and you're all [ __ ] up from the anesthesia   and i remember leaning my head back and my tongue  was paralyzed and it rolled in the back of my   throat and i i essentially started to swallow  my own tongue and i remember throwing my head   over the side and scooping my tongue out and i  couldn't breathe i was gasping it was nothing trying to scream i can't get anything out  there's no nerves there it's after hours   i had a later surgery um this is  probably eight o'clock at night it's   everybody's gone at this point man manny at  the hospital and i remember i grabbed the uh   the little monitor the ekg thing and i knocked it  on the ground remember this lady came running out   of the back and i'm holding my throat like this  and her eyes got his biggest silver dollars and   i remember them shoving an o2 mask on  me and then i remember waking up later so what had happened was they hit the wrong  nerve bundle and it paralyzed my throat my   voice box my tongue and my right lung um man  i was just drifting off the holy [ __ ] i just   would have passed out would have been over um  so the whole rehab process comes after that   um but after that because the pain was so bad we  go to pain management and now i get on more meds   and now i'm on all kinds of weird [ __ ]  now it's like they're just stacking it on   top of me over and over and over and it's  not getting better it's only getting worse   to the point where i don't know  what i'm going to do anymore   but i'm having some very hard  conversations with patsy and everybody else   like if this is what i have to live with daily oh  no like i don't know what the [ __ ] i'm gonna do   like i can't lift my arm like just the whole  rehab process was so [ __ ] bad and luckily you   know we start the medical retirement thing  but it takes so long to actually get there   what kind of conversations are you having are  you talking suicidal yeah yeah um you're having   conversations about suicide with your wife how  many times did that happen more than you can count   yeah and it was one of those things like i told  her i was like i don't i don't know what the   [ __ ] is going on with me like i sit here and  i just i don't want to do this anymore i'm tired   um kind of just everything from my childhood  and everything to the teams and just   everything just felt like he was hanging around  my [ __ ] neck man i couldn't do it anymore   i was just i was [ __ ] tired i feel like that's  the common theme with dudes when they hit that   spot is that's what they say i'm just so [ __  ] tired i just don't want to do it anymore just   like reality set in like that was it i'm not  coming back from that one um and we got through   rehab the med board had already started um we had  hip surgery scheduled we had my left shoulder um   scheduled and it was going to be three years of  uh surgery windows i'm like i can't [ __ ] do   this man that rehab was so bad it took everything  out of me it was [ __ ] miserable the navy seal   foundation stepped in and they had a rehab program  ran by an x-team guy actually from the command   virginia high performance um they chop you with  a world strat world-class strength conditioning   coach they cater your meals you two workouts a  day do the float tank massage hyperbaric you do   everything and it's basically a four week block  you can extend and do eight weeks so i did eight   weeks with those guys and i came out of that  no [ __ ] in the best shape of my entire life   really i felt like i don't need to be retired like  i'm good i was high as a kite i was on every med   i was already on um but i looked apart i looked  [ __ ] great um and i still wanted to die inside   but i still my ego you wouldn't let it go like  i could still do this i can still do this um and then i couldn't i just couldn't  do anymore i ended up going to um a neurobehavioral ward at um at bethesda so  right across the street from naiko it's called   seven east and it is for a it's essentially a  detox clinic so in between all of that i go back   in to refill my prescriptions in our physician's  assistant he was brand new and he inputted all my   stuff in and hit enter and an error code popped  up and he went i can't give you that he's like   you can't take that and this it's like no well  that's a problem because i've been taking that   for a long time and i [ __ ] need it and he had  a very candid conversation with me and he's like   no what do we do now whole team came together and  they're like we've got a med washout we want to do   you know you're starting the med board right  now let's get you off all these meds and we'll   figure out what your baseline really is  and we'll go from there okay and somehow   they suckered me into it um and i was not  expecting that i expected to go back to nico   and it was not niko we walked in they took shoe  strings dental floss tooth they went through   everything you couldn't have anything and uh there  were a couple sf guys in here a couple rangers   bunch of guys like some some pretty bad tbi [ __ ]  um one of the guys uh he was a fighter pilot had a   had an ejection ride and it gave him parkinson's  so to be able to watch people how bad it can get   it really made me feel uh feel like a giant [ __  ] like you see how bad some of these dudes are   and i got there um and i never  forget man she walked in and uh this sweet little black lady she looked me  and she goes are you ready you know what yeah oh child okay she reached in and grabbed all my  meds and she's like not anymore and she locked   me in that room i bet you i was in there seven  days i didn't really leave that room for seven   days i laid in a fetal position and i detoxed  off everything i had been on and it was the   worst thing that's ever [ __ ] happened to  me um i heard piss in the bed throwing up i mean you everything about the spirit world man  like being alone in isolation no cell phone   no nothing it uh it consumed me i didn't have  skydiving i didn't have the team i didn't have   my wife i didn't have anything i was just i  was eight up dude i was eight the [ __ ] up it uh it was bad and around the seven ten  day mark i kind of came out of the haze   and i walked out for one of the first times  and sat down with a group and had breakfast and   i was sober for the first time  and i was an agonizing pain   like oh my god this is this is normal this  is reality right here this is where i'm at   and we slowly started to input a couple  meds um they left me on a couple things   just no no painkillers i couldn't do it  anymore from the nsaid use over the years   i've got like stomach ulcers so if i take an 800  milligram motion i piss blood like weird stuff so   i had to come off all the insides the only thing  they left me with was cymbalta and adderall   which hindsight being 20 20 i  probably should have came off those   but at the time i couldn't i couldn't even fathom  it my anxiety was so bad my depression was so bad   and those pills were the only thing that kept me  sane and i say sane relatively i was in a bad spot   the patsy came up to see me in  the hospital drove up there and um you think it would have  gotten better and it didn't um   so now we've got two kids got a brand new  born uh i'm just in a bag of [ __ ] so   i come back from that and essentially got  miele my youngest who's now my therapy baby   just laying the lane in the bed just feeling  sorry for myself i don't really know where i'm   going from here but i know my career is over  i know i'm miserable i know i really want to   take a bunch of pills to stop feeling like this  but i can and i don't know what i'm going to do they introduce art therapy it's kind of where  the whole tribe skate thing started to go   it was a spillover from niko  i started art therapy at nico   and then um the whole staff knew me and they  all remembered me so when they heard i was   next door they opened up the facility and i could  go over there as much as i wanted to they let me   uh do the dog program so i get to hang out with  puppies all day therapy dogs and do all that um the red cross walked in one day  she's like what can i bring you   how about a blank skateboard deck and some  paintbrushes do you want i'll make that happen   and she wasn't supposed to you're not supposed to  leave that place and she snuck me out she walked   me downstairs and put me in her car and drove  me out downtown bethesda to a skateboard shop   and bought me a blank skateboard it was her own [  __ ] money snuck me out totally she got in trouble   and brought me back and she's like if anybody  asks it just showed up here yes ma'am and i   made my first board big paper mache thing a bunch  of [ __ ] hands coming out of it um yeah just you   know the whole mass concept you do yeah neither it  was essentially that but i did it on a skateboard   and i just dumped everything i had in me on that  board and i felt better i had an sf guys going   through a dark spot a real bad spot same thing  his career he was not ready to go had him do the   same thing like just try it just paint this whole  thing white make the whole [ __ ] thing black now   do this now do that started to help conversation  started to go and get the relive experiences and   you know had art therapy [ __ ] it helped we  were in that thing for 31 consecutive days   inpatient um detoxing off meds having to talk to  all kinds of therapists about your feelings and   pain management specialist and  the big thing i got out of it i was able to override pain so well um that i  couldn't tell if i was hurt or if i was injured   i couldn't tell the difference  anymore everything felt the same   um if i stub my big toe or if you break  my leg it all felt the same i didn't care i mean we'd go in there for some of these things  and i'd have these long conversations with the   doc and they'd ask and they wanted to know  tips and tricks on how i get over this and   i talk about things i do mentally to try  to flush out some of the pain i was feeling   you know i was doing breathing drills way before  it was a cool thing to do and um i'd imagine like   i'd i'd go deep thought concentration i would i'd  paint away pain i just spread loaded throughout   my entire body so it wasn't isolated in  one spot and i became successful at it   but it doesn't last forever yeah um it was  so bad when i came out of that [ __ ] place so that's how tribe skates was born art therapy  yeah man like i came out of there and you know   you're getting ready to retire the reality of  the thing's gonna happen and you don't know   what you're gonna do might get a contract what is  it did you know you were retiring at this point   i knew yeah the med board has already started  um we're into we've crested into 2019 now um i'm still jumping a little bit from what i can  um i'm contracting working some courses in my   off time just maintaining currency all that and  then that's when we get to um to tribe skates and   like i actually made it a thing  we brought in coal we had a shop   and it was my uh my little therapeutic outlet  didn't make any money but it kept me sane was   cold still on at this point yeah he was still in  okay yeah he transitioned over he was doing um   like a training position um but his med board  was about to start he was banged up he said   multiple surgeries he's chewed up um and  that's when i got into fracture burning   it's like i had to replace something  some sort of danger element   with something else so the skydiving i couldn't  do right now i'm going to the med board if i got   hurt again they are definitely going to fry me um  i just have to sit back here and i just have to   when you go through that they take all your  specialty pays away um so you used to make an x   amount chop that in half and that's they maintain  you at and that process can last as long as they   needed to and i had a lot of injuries  my medical record's two volumes   um they take your [ __ ] pays away the day the  day you start it every specially pay goes away   um sometimes you know i've heard rumors guys  having to pay back re-enlistment bonuses   um all kinds of [ __ ] man like it's bad but they  hold you to that so now the lifestyle you've been   accustomed to living you can't afford to live that  anymore so now what do you do just get depressed   you can't get a job it won't let you  have outside employment so what do you do   just miserable just waiting to finally  retire if they were given the option just   to leave i just would have left i was so  over by then um i was [ __ ] hateful dude   i didn't want to accept that  was actually happening to me   and then you know i had to kind of close out  that chapter and accept it like this is what is   happening and i finally got my retirement date the  med board is over it's probably uh may or june um there's an invite for the world record for a  skydiving thing um and i went out there and i   did my training gems and i  got picked up and i got a slot   invitee for the for the world record it's gonna  be held in chicago that year and it was like   that was the [ __ ] best thing  to ever happen to me so excited came back home and you know  got zapped with the voltage   kind of reset everything so at that point  when that had happened i had been through niko   done four more deployments been through seven east  came off all the meds except cymbalta and adderall   now i've got the um the world  record thing coming up super excited   basically leaning in heavy on tribe skates  just doing that all day long just trying to   keep myself sane i'm in the best shape of my  life with uh with vhp and training every day   and i feel like a million bucks like i'm finally  starting to come out of it at least on the surface   things were still rocky with the family i was  still um any moment i could to separate myself   i did i mean i do it now um just out of habit but  i'd be up at 5am every morning there's no reason i   don't answer anybody and i'd go saying skateboards  out in a [ __ ] empty parking lot at 5am   just to be by myself i didn't  want anybody there with me i just i didn't know what i was going to do man  but i knew it wasn't anything positive   yeah yeah all right let's move into  let's move into father's day 2019 yep so i started to try up skates started doing fracture  burning we were laying graphics doing normal stuff   and fracture burns kind of introduced me so  you take a microwave transformer you pull it   out and you hook it up to jumper cables and run  a lead out to 110. there's no real safety measure   there wasn't on that machine so i ran an extension  cord out of my house to an octopus outlet   take said machine plug into said  octopus outlet and then hit the button hit the button unplug it now there's  no power going to it the unit's good   i've been doing it for months burned hundreds  of boards at this point um i've got my got my   chi down i've got my got my whole system down  and it's therapeutic it's [ __ ] dangerous   like you got to be you got to be locked on  so i'm in super good shape it's father's day   i am burning paddles for um an eod unit it's about  to retire so they're giveaway paddles i fracture   burn them now and they do a bunch of cool stuff  with them um and a buddy calls me he's like hey   i've got a couple more can i drop them off and  i've been out there since 6 a.m like send it   fast forward i burned uh probably 10 boards  that morning and um he shows up and they're   not sanded they've got lacquer all over them i've  still got a bunch more boards i got to do and you   have to sand off every ounce of that lacquer  or it won't conduct just won't do it you got   to spray electrolyte solution on it hit it with  the voltage so he is um i'm fractured burning   boards i stop i take a break he's plugged into the  octopus outlet with the sander sanding them down   in the confusion um the sander gets unplugged my  machine gets plugged and the switch gets turned on   so i've got um saw horses set up i'm sanding  down boards um with a bristle brush knocking   all the knocking all the ash off i'm spraying  them down with a hose so the whole backyard   is covered in water i'm in a i'm in a tank top  and board shorts no shoes on um doing my thing   remember like it was yesterday we're in  front of my bay window and it's probably   from here to there and it's close we're  standing essentially on the back porch   both my kids are there they're watching the  ipad or watching cartoons eating breakfast   it's probably 8am and uh the old lady knocks on  the window she gives me one of these like it's a   [ __ ] father's day let's go trying to go have a  family breakfast and do the whole thing last burn   last burn i was like all right man let's knock  out this last one and i grabbed those leads and   i readjusted my hands and if you're true north  that's where he was i was about in this fashion   and when i grabbed those leads it snapped me  and spun me towards him and every muscle my body   contracted and i can remember my head fighting  the urge he wanted to slam back and touch my   own spine and i remember fighting it as hard as i  could i could remember my teeth heating up and it   felt like there was a copper spool like a taste  copper in the roof of my mouth [ __ ] spinning   um we made eye contact i remember him screaming [  __ ] [ __ ] oh no no no [ __ ] and the contraction   got so [ __ ] hard i ended up taking a step back  at some point and i landed in a puddle of water   but when i did that i heard a loud pop it  was my collarbone shattering and if you   listen to patsy i leveled out in the air and i  shot across the yard still holding on to these   things holy [ __ ] i remember hitting the ground  and skipping and having this thing um it felt like   my entire body was um being burned alive it um it  was intense and it was static but it was static   you could you could feel um like the static on  a tv like everything went to that and it was um   the static sound was inside of your [ __ ] brain and he unplugged me and everything went  black and i don't know how long i was   out for i don't remember but i remember  opening my eyes and he was in my face   and i remember exhaling and smoke coming  out i remember looking down on my hands   and i had a burn through my palm  had one coming out of my finger   a shot came out of my head some arc spots out  of my thigh had one come out next to my ass   um and i remember laying there and he looked  at me and he goes you know where you are   on the ground and he said are you okay i said no   i'm not okay i was like my collarbone's broken and  my left shoulder is out of socket for sure and uh   he kind of rocked me up forward and i had a big  mouth of copenhagen in and i bit through my tongue   so you can imagine what that feels like just kind  of open my mouth and just let this [ __ ] pour   out of me it was just a steady pull of blood um i  didn't know how bad it was but i knew it was bad   my wife's freaking the [ __ ]  out the kids are freaking the   [ __ ] out he's freaking the  [ __ ] out rightfully so um i told them i uh i do pretty good to keep  my composure situations like that and i   was like we're good i looked at patsy and i  was like i'm driving myself to the hospital   i'll go get checked out go eat breakfast i'm not  ruining father's day and that was the stupidest   thing that's ever left my mouth you're gonna  drive yourself to the hospital now after this   and i remember i stood up they were trying  to find me shoes um trying to find a hat   and trying to find my wallet i live maybe two  miles from uh like a level three trauma center   and he's gonna drive me there my wife is gonna  call her mother to come over and watch my kids   and they're gonna meet me there they've already  called cole they've called everybody in the shop   um tell everybody know what's happened i stood up and i said all right i'm walking  to the truck and i turned and i got to the   gate and it's probably maybe 40 feet to my  truck and i took a step and everything went took another step and it reminded  me in the moment i thought about it   you remember kill bill um you remember the  five finger death punch yeah take five steps   on the fifth one you die exactly like that  i got the four and i was [ __ ] right here   i was a [ __ ] cyclops i couldn't see  [ __ ] and i was scared to [ __ ] death   i could feel my heart rate slowing down like i  could feel it i mean you think it'd be blowing   through my chest it wasn't i could feel it  and i didn't feel right i felt very strange   and i took one more step and everything went  jet black it's [ __ ] totally blind and i'm just   on the side of my house i can't feel anything i  can't put my arms out because everything is broken   so i'm just i'm i'm hoping that someone's going  to come save me and i can't see a [ __ ] thing   nothing and i start to breathe i start to  hyperventilate try to flood myself with oxygen and i forced it i opened my eyes as wide as  i could and i started to deep breathe until   light started to come back in and i felt a  hand on my shoulder it was him and he guided   me to the truck and by the time i got there my  vision had came back but it wasn't normal vision   it was like superhuman vision it was the brightest  colors i've ever seen in my whole life um   it was like i could see like superman  i saw everything i felt everything um   i've never been so in tune with my body  ever i could feel i could feel everything   we got in the truck and we drove to the  hospital and we hit every pothole on the way   so my collar bones in like 30 pieces it's just  kind of gravel just moving around my scapula is   blown out and um every bump we hit it felt  like a shard was going to go into my lung   i didn't know how bad it was at the  time but i had a pretty good [ __ ] idea   and we walked back there walked in told him  exactly what had happened we don't know the   voltage i don't know the ampage i don't know  anything except that everything i've ever read   is no one survives this [ __ ] um so i should  have been dead they brought me back on the   table they stripped me down they're going through  everything um they shoot the x-rays they see the   collar bones shattered they see the scapula they  see everything else and this doctor comes back   and he tells me he's like hey man  what do you do i told him he's like   here's the issue is with electrocution injuries  your body starts to produce some kind of enzyme   like i'll [ __ ] up the name so i'm not gonna try  but he goes if that number hits we'll call it 10.   if it hits 10 your whole body is going to turn  into essentially like rhabdo muscles are going   to liquify and i have to start chopping [ __  ] out of you i'm a lot bigger than i was now   that i am now and he goes i got to start cutting  out big things dude he's like peck's gotta go lats   gotta go glutes thighs hamstrings we gotta  cut it out of you because if not it turns   to mush it turns septic and you'll [ __ ] die  he's like so when this thing goes we gotta go   so i'm imagining now i'm laying in a hospital  bed and this dude's gonna walk around the corner   with a [ __ ] piece of paper and start cutting  pieces off of me so it's just your tissue it's   dead tissue that's rotting yeah essentially  like tops there's so much trauma all the way   through your body produces natural enzyme that  basically turns [ __ ] septic and he's like that's   what happens with rhabdo like muscles liquefy or  whatever um and he was concerned about it and um   they did an ambulance ride all the way up to  the burn unit put me in there ran every test   they could all the x-rays you know stayed there  for a couple days and that dude came back in   and he goes i don't know what the [ __ ] is going  on with you he's like everybody on earth produces   this enzyme everybody you know with it 10 we've  got to start cutting [ __ ] out everybody sets   it a 5. he goes not only you not at a 5. he goes i  can't find a trace of it in your whole [ __ ] body   he goes it's a medical [ __ ] mystery why  you're alive i don't know um there were a   bunch of theories about because i was holding  on to both leads um kind of connected to circuit   my muscles just contracted until i blew [ __ ]  out and if he wouldn't have unplugged me i just   would have stayed like that and cooked you know  another second longer they were talking about uh   it's kind of like doing a um a defib on somebody  he's like we don't know what your heart was doing   if you would have unplugged it you know 0.25  seconds pre or post maybe you were flatlined   and died we don't know he's like because no one  survives it so we can't forget test data for it so i remember laying in the hospital this is right  after it happened and i was supposed to work a   jump course the following day this happened  on a sunday i'm supposed to work on monday   and i remember calling the uh  the people i was working for   um skydive suffolk and uh i was crying i was  like i am so sorry like i can't believe i   did this to you it's like i'm i'm going to be  there i'll be there tomorrow at 0-7 i was like   i just don't think i'll be able to jump and that [  __ ] doctor looked over me and he's like you ain't   going any [ __ ] way just like that patsy jumped  my ass and i was like that's like i'm just gonna   go down there i'm in slings i'm not doing any [  __ ] he's like you could [ __ ] die just like that hand the phone over patsy talk to her and  basically he he's not gonna make this trip   um and i didn't want to hear that and  then i instantly asked him like well i've   got the world record coming up in four  weeks and he looked at me and he's like your days are done dude you're not [ __ ] jumping   he's like you're gonna need major hatred  reconstructive surgery and i just went through it   like i had just gotten done yeah like i just went  through a year-long rehab process like again what   the [ __ ] man like you talking about driving dude  in a hole like not again man not a [ __ ] can um   and the things you don't think about like putting  on socks i couldn't put on [ __ ] socks i couldn't   wipe my own ass i couldn't bathe myself i couldn't  do [ __ ] i could do nothing i was worthless   for months i mean i've got two plates and 27  screws from here to here like it's over my   my collarbone doesn't hinge on my sternum right  like this scapula thing when that thing blew out   that was an injury that i never respected before  you hear about people breaking shoulder blades and   scapulas like yeah that's a terrible injury it's  terrible when it blew out of my hand it kind of   fused my hand so when people would shake it it  blew a hole through and hit the nerve and hit   the nerve bundle and hit the tendon so anytime you  would move my thumb it felt like you were ripping   my thumb off you screwed i couldn't i couldn't  draw a pistol holding a carbine was miserable   um and i had to basically just deal with that  and you were going to contract as well when   you're retired correct yeah i'm supposed to go  in september december so that was out the window   now there's no way yeah with the rehab it took  there's no way just had to keep pushing that   date back further and further try to lean in heavy  on tribe skates but now i'm hurt now what do i do   like now what i do went back out at 6 00 a.m five  days later and i finished for actually burning all   this [ __ ] skateboards what i did yeah my wife  woke up and you have never seen a look like that   dude she stood on that she stood on that back  porch and looked at me and if looks could kill   i'd be [ __ ] dead call me everything she could  selfish [ __ ] and she was right um but i told   her i was like it's it's like skydiving you have  a cutaway you have to get back on the next load   go back up you're going to build it up too much  in your head now it's like it's a freak accident   i'm lucky enough to be alive and if i don't do  it right now it's like this thing will define   me right now i was like this isn't who i am i  can't let this [ __ ] thing beat me i have to   do it again and i think she understood and  we obviously have a different system now and   it's very controlled now i don't let anybody  do it around me we uh we cut that out of it   but that rehab coming back um  the very next day we started   i called vernon griffith my trainer and we  started the very next day with a two pound dumbo doing the whole thing over again and it was   it was miserable damn and you started uh  gvrs group so we had yeah we had tribe   skates and then um yeah in 2019 right after  that we started uh gbrs so that happened and   i retired in august um that happened and when's  father's day july june and july 19th yep yep um   yeah we started out in september gbrs it's like  full steam ahead we gotta go it's focused on   rehab every day i heard a full-time trainer  and just focused on rehab trying to get back that's not really what happened i uh i separated  myself from everything i um i used to skateboard   [ __ ] as a as a coping mechanism it's really  just an excuse i um i had to i had to replace   my love for the teams my love  for jumping and my love for being away from my family i had to give myself  something else and um is the worst thing i ever   [ __ ] did man i um i let my yo get the best  of me and started cheating on the old lady   and just pushed them away i just did i am i  ran multiple affairs for the better part of   two years um all the way through and i  pushed out my [ __ ] whole family man   i um you were able to keep that [  __ ] together for two years you ran   two businesses you're retiring you have a family  with two kids and you're doing multiple affairs and the thing that disgusts me the most  about it is because i love the team so much   i put patsy on a [ __ ] pedestal because of  who she was what she'd already been through and you know we pride ourselves on loyalty and  that's the biggest loyalty breach on [ __ ] earth   i had no justification for it she's  badass dude like i don't deserve her   i mean she's hot as [ __ ] too you know what  i mean like i had no excuse she's perfect   i just didn't want it i wanted to consume myself  with toxic people and that's exactly what i did   i hit it for a while and then  i couldn't hide it anymore   i just i couldn't it i was  gonna [ __ ] kill myself um was back on pain pills i just i couldn't do it  anymore i had all my stuff from um from before i   was back on tram and all back on percocet from  the electrocution and i went back on status quo   i was like i don't do anything half-assed  i'm going to do it i'm going the whole way   and i basically everything i did  before i just kept doing again   i just subbed out the teams for businesses and  affairs and i went well then you kind of came   into contact well i mean i know you guys knew each  other before but patsy made a call to amber capone   would what so we heard about it we heard what marx  and amber were doing and um what was the final   straw i mean it sounded like it was like the last  call of desperation there so marx and amber did um i guess you'd call it a commercial it was  kind of like their story and we knew their   story like we know them the entire time so  we knew everything they had been through   i mean broad brush we know and uh they  made this they made this trailer i guess   and uh i was gone on a trip and she sent  it to me and uh i was laying in bed at a   [ __ ] marriott and i watched that thing  and i bawled my eyes out uncontrollably because i knew how bad i had  taken i knew how far i had went   and i didn't know how to fix it i  didn't think it was able to be fixed   i didn't and she sent it to me and  she went if you love me you'll go it's kind of a weird thing for a wife to ask  your husband to go to mexico and do drugs   try to fix yourself and what i'll go i'll go um it didn't matter though i i wasn't hopeful um  once she said she wanted me to go it was like   a beacon of light it let in some hope she  does give a [ __ ] she does want me better   like she wants me back she's willing to  work this out she's willing to accept me   um she didn't know everything that was going on  she didn't um she might have had an assumption   but she didn't know she definitely know  the severity of the affairs she didn't so by the time we get there  now we're in business with uh   three other team guys and now we're all gonna  go we're all gonna go together we're all going   to heal together we've all been through some  serious [ __ ] and we're going to go process   this entire thing together in one  field swoop what i didn't do um what i didn't do was be honest to the  people around me on what i was going through   i didn't tell them everything i had going on the [ __ ] overseas the disappointments on  retirement the transition life the affairs   um you know drama with my drama with my family  just everything i didn't let them know how bad it   was um and i had a [ __ ] serious secret i had one  that i couldn't come back from there's no way it's   uh it's my defining moment and that'll be the last  thing that anyone ever hears about me is how bad   i [ __ ] this up and there's no way to fix it so  it's every day we got closer and closer to mexico   i fell more and more in love with  my wife and kids every [ __ ] day   i still wasn't homesick i still wanted to be  gone but i would see it and it made me regret   everything i had done for the last two years i  just every time i saw him it was just the guilt   it um it hung around me it hung  around my [ __ ] neck man and uh you wanna go through the whole story you take  it all the way yeah so we uh we link up with   marks and amber and uh we fly out there and uh  we put in some serious [ __ ] work men that uh   that medicine that entire experience is nothing  on this universe it can't be quantified you   you can't do an experience and pass it off  and tell somebody your story and it sounds   too bizarre it just does divine intervention  and everything else you believe in aliens after   that [ __ ] like it it doesn't make sense um the  word cosmic comes up a lot when people do it like   you feel like you're one with the universe it's  weird um you become interconnected to everything   and you understand everything you've ever done and  it is at the forefront of your mind when you wake   up the next day so how does it happen then i mean  is it immediate or you feel it the next day or   no i mean you process that thing for weeks um  it's in your system for a long time at least it   felt like but you know you go down and you do  a ceremony you give out your intentions and i   haven't told anybody my intentions i haven't told  anybody what i'm trying to deal with none of them   um they have no idea they assume that  we're um dealing with some ptsd [ __ ] and   some some stress some operator syndrome maybe  some other stuff and uh we did i have a game   had a very profound experience and i woke up  the next morning for the first time in a decade   i would have cut off a [ __ ] arm to teleport home  i've never wanted to be home that bad in my entire   life um and i knew it was all for nothing i knew  it didn't matter there's no going home for me um   just the thoughts that go through your  mind when you know you're [ __ ] up so bad   you can't come back from it what do you say  like how do you enjoy that experience how   do you process the information knowing you'll  never get to share it with another human being   because again this road i got to [ __  ] kill myself and that's what it was   um that's a hard thing to wrap your  head around like i'm so selfish i'm uh   i'm such a [ __ ] coward that instead of  face of music this is what's gonna happen we process the entire day we wake up the  next morning we do a ceremony we um we all   come together and we're working through trauma  together it's a bunch of team guys in the same   room a bunch of them we know coupling we don't  know and the common theme um because i'll just say   it now after ibogaine i'll just say it i looked  at all of them um and they were pouring out some   some serious [ __ ] some serious childhood traumas  and dumping them on the table for everyone to see   and i called them all out [ __ ] you guys i've  been sitting here for 16 [ __ ] years alone   thinking i'm the only [ __ ] dude you've been my  best friend my entire time you've never told me   that why'd you let me do this alone why like  how many [ __ ] times i almost blew my head   off in a [ __ ] guest room why why don't you [  __ ] tell me man it's [ __ ] rough dude it uh   and you see the collective everyone everyone  in the [ __ ] room the exact same way dudes   have been 25 years had a [ __ ] 30-year  master chief in there same [ __ ] thing   like why why the [ __ ] didn't you say it i want  a [ __ ] answer tell me i didn't have one like   i wasn't ready you better [ __ ] get ready like if  any of you dudes go back home and you don't jump   on the first building and scream from the [ __ ]  rooftops this [ __ ] will save you and [ __ ] you don't be a senior man but secret not with  this [ __ ] i would have been so much better   off if people would have just said it like  this happened and this is how i'm feeling   it's okay to not be okay this [ __ ] is [ __ ]  this is life man like as bad as we want to feel   like we're universal soldiers and [ __ ] dolph  lunger and jean-claude we're not like we're grown   ass men that have kids they call us papa you gotta  stay up late and do homework we gotta drop kids   off on school buses and you got to get on a [ __  ] airplane and fly away and never see them again   you got to be okay with that um and it's a hard  thing to do especially when you do it solo when   you never say it not that it's not there it's  there it's on the forefront of everybody's mind   and you're just not saying it so we had a  beautiful um beautiful couple hours processed   a lot of [ __ ] had a nice family dinner  and we're just constantly just on topic   talking about just everything [ __ ] man i  felt so relieved to be able to just say it   but i hadn't said it yet yeah i hadn't said a  [ __ ] thing yet we wake up the next morning   and we're gonna do five meow um dmt we sent  up a couple guys and they were saving me   last um i i think maybe they thought i was  gonna have a conniption um everybody knew   i was really working through some [ __ ] and they  just didn't know how bad it was um and i laid back   um you know we smoked a five laid back and i've  never cried like that in my whole [ __ ] life   every ounce of pain i have caused my wife i've  caused my kids and anyone else i felt right then   and i did it over and over i was chasing the  release all this negative [ __ ] had filled up   and it was coming out of my mouth and i  couldn't stop it i just i needed to purge   all of this hate that i had inside me and  it was really just hatred for myself it um they told you you'll know when you're done  you'll wake up and it could be on the the   first dose you'll be on the fifth dose it  doesn't matter you'll know when you're done   and i rolled over and i was done like  i was at complete peace with everything   like i've never felt so alive i've  never felt so connected to this earth   i've never wanted to go strap on body armor  and deploy more in my entire [ __ ] life i   felt like i had a superpower we all did and we  all talked about it i feel like i know something   no one else on this earth knows it's like you  do it's like you have a secret no one else knows   like this medicine will save everybody [ __  ] i wish i could just give to everybody right   now and fix everybody that's not how it works um  and we're still processing all this information   so we've done that we do our final  ceremony and we're flying home the next day   they've uh we've been in river city there's no  phones there's no email there's no nothing we   had to write a letter home um and they basically  gave us a blanket statement they were like hey   send this text out to your significant other  everybody's married so send it out to your wife   it says hey i'd love to um i'm through with the  ceremony i can't wait to see you and i can't wait   to tell you about everything that i've experienced  blanket statement and i knew patsy was itching   um to hear from me and we haven't heard from  days and your river city on friday and now it's   on monday at like noon so we're in san diego  we're at an airbnb waiting for our flights   and um like okay because you know we're  all business partners all the wives are   interconnected so you can't text your  wife before i text mine yeah right it's   like all right ready three two we all  send it all their phones go off not mine   she's probably at the gym i hit her hit  her location she's at the house okay   send another text hey are you available for  a call i call the house they don't answer   click back on location she's not  sharing her location with me anymore what's strange call her cell  phone straight to voicemail the [ __ ] like maybe the kids are on  the phone maybe they're just swiping up   they're watching youtube  whatever so i let it go um   three or four hours go by nothing and i know the  other wives have talked to them they're not saying   anything to me they haven't heard anything and  they're tight like all the they're we're tied   we get a drive to the airport we get to the  airport and i'm on uh i'm on pins and needles man   i can't even [ __ ] breathe because i have the  secret and i don't know how it's gonna get out   and now i'm a certain question like does she  know she find out about the affairs what the   [ __ ] is going on we get into the airport um  we stop in a layover in atlanta and i power on   my phone and there's a notification that pops up  that says um password's been changed to my email that's weird and then i go to log on to i  had a ghost uh instagram account um that i've   run all these affairs on and she had hacked into  that she changed the password and opened it up and   she opened up on friday when we went river city  and she had all day friday all day saturday   all day sunday and all day monday to read through  everything i had said and done the last two years   everything and you're a team guy so you know  exactly what those were and she read it all and   at the very end of it um she found out that one of  the one people i was having a favor was pregnant oh [ __ ] so i don't know any of this i just know that  now she's in there and now i'm panicking disco   and now i'm telling them oh my god like  she's hacked into my instagram account   like she knows like we don't  know we don't know we don't know   we landed virginia beach we drive back to  the shop all the wives are there except mine take a big breath and i walk upstairs in  my office and every [ __ ] thing i own is   some cardboard boxes sitting in my office  everything and there was just printouts of   all these text messages that i'd been sending  out screenshots of pictures and all kinds of   there's a there's everything in there and i knew that's it you know coming back from that  one there's no coming back it's heavy man um and i uh i saw the other wives give everybody  a hug and i um i looked up a coal kissed him   on cheek told him i loved him and um  he said i'd call him in a little bit   and i had no intention of calling him in a  little bit i jumped in my truck and i drove   straight out to uh to sandbridge right out by the  ocean and i backed my truck up right next to uh   right next to the command gate and i sit there in  my truck and i contemplated everything i had done   my entire [ __ ] life from the fall out with  my parents to the you know having kids and the   affairs and everything in between actions overseas  everything i had ever done it was so crystal clear it was like i had superhuman memory for  the first time i remembered everything   but it wasn't anything positive it was  just all the terrible [ __ ] i had done   it was in the forefront of my mind and  i didn't have the courage to call patsy   i didn't um thinking about um thinking about  making that phone call and her not answering   but her just dismissing me i couldn't do it  um all i wanted to do was see my kids that   was it just let me see my two girls just  let me give you one [ __ ] glimpse of them   and i'll be out of your hair  just let me say goodbye to them   and i'm uh i'm parked over there and she called  me out of the [ __ ] blue just called me and   she was tracking me um colette actually  followed me so he knew where i was going   she tracked my location knew exactly what i was  gonna do and she called me and she's like hey um   i need to see you let me see you  [ __ ] face to face right now is that okay had you made your  mind up how you're gonna do it   yep i shoot myself right in front see that truck made a video for the kids whole thing  selfie video that's a [ __ ] man so she found you she [ __ ] drove  up parked right next to me um   she got out of that car like she had a thousand  times and i was sitting on tailgate and uh she walked over to me i'm sitting on  the tailgate and she walked right in   between my legs and pulled my glasses  off my [ __ ] face and she cried um i've never seen a woman cry like that bought her [ __ ] eyes outside or died i  mean um one of those uncontrollable ones with   [ __ ] just coming out of your face and um   i was trying to tell her how sorry i was  how much i regretted everything and um she looked at me right in the [ __  ] eyes and she knew that i was back   it's the weirdest thing you can't explain it um   but she looked at me and my eyes were clear for  the first time i was off all pain meds when i   woke up from ibogaine never had another painkiller  no cymbalta no adderall no copenhagen no nothing   no affairs nothing since then but she saw it she  saw that i was completely sober for the first time   ever and she looked me right in [ __ ] eyes and  she said are you willing to try to work this out i said absolutely and she was like i  don't know if that means we're married   but she's like i can't have you kill yourself  she's like these [ __ ] kids need you too much   the shop needs you don't do this these families  like you and me can you and me can figure out a   common ground and that's all i wanted i knew we'd  never stay married i don't [ __ ] deserve her   i just didn't want to lose  at all i didn't want her to i didn't want to end it like that and we  went back we had a super hard conversation um and she asked me she's like i  want to know everything right now   and i [ __ ] told her everything i fell on my  sword and for the first time in my life i didn't   i didn't filter a [ __ ] thing i sent it the whole  way i told her every ounce of it every detail   how long had been going on why had been going on   and what i'm gonna do now um and i told her i was  like i don't want i don't want you to stay with   me i don't want you to stay married to me i just  want i want the opportunity to make it up to you   just give me one [ __ ] chance to prove to you  every day that i'm [ __ ] sorry like i don't   need to be forgiven just give me the opportunity  to make it okay and every day i wake up with that   in the forefront of my mind like i'm going to  show you today how committed i am i'll show   you how far i'm willing to go for the family  and that's the that's the goal every day and   ever since that [ __ ] day since i've landed in  virginia beach we have never been better it's um   [ __ ] it's hard to say man but we have never  been better my kids have never my kids have   never loved me more it's weird my oldest called me  dj until i retired all of them yeah and now it's like that's my why now   it is like i'm the luckiest [ __ ] dude i know  i am and i don't deserve to be i don't deserve   i don't deserve to have her i don't deserve  to have those kids but i'll [ __ ] take it   um she stuck with it through all that [ __ ] she  [ __ ] did man she stuck through with all of that   everything she's [ __ ] been through all that [  __ ] i put her through not the affairs like that   life and teams of me was [ __ ] rough man um i  mean she used to look forward to me being gone   all i cared about with that [ __ ] place i  did i just i cared about the teams i just   i wanted to do that i didn't  want any distractions and then   i let it consume me and then i needed to find i  needed to find something else skydiving i couldn't   do that anymore now what now we're doing this it's  the worst thing that's ever happened to me it's   the worst thing i've ever done and it's the only  thing in my life that i wish i could take back   the rest of that [ __ ] i'll take the scars i'll  take the bad memories i'll take the look on her   face that's what keeps me up at night just the  breach of loyalty she trusted me everybody did   they trusted me to to do her right and i [ __ ]  didn't i let my ego take control it [ __ ] sucks some [ __ ] heavy [ __ ] man yeah that is  some uh real heavy [ __ ] that's an amazing   woman no [ __ ] if we think back to not going to  mexico just imagine if that happens on a tuesday   she finds out there's no mexico yeah  i'm the same way that i was before   i wouldn't be here i was too [ __ ] suicidal yeah  like i mean i was hinging on it like i was man   i was just i was itching for a reason and that  was my reason without her man i wouldn't be here yeah i was actually gonna have her call in but uh things didn't go as planned but we're wrapping  this up but i got to tell you man you've got to be   one of the most resilient people i've ever [ __  ] met that is uh been through a lot of [ __ ]   it's a daily stroke it is mine like that [ __ ]  road ain't easy and i'll tell you what after i um   after the whole thing kind of came out you know it  spread through the community like [ __ ] wildfire   i was surprised how many  other people it happened to a [ __ ] ton of people a bunch of people that i  knew i had no [ __ ] idea like i mean cheating   to it's a common theme in the military i mean it  just is gone the road a lot it's a common thing i feel like she should got an exemption it's like  i owed that to her you've been through enough   you didn't deserve some [ __ ] typical team  guy piece of [ __ ] cheating on you didn't   she's [ __ ] perfect and i took her  for granted it's [ __ ] terrible every day i wake up i'm going  to prove to you one more time   that's a struggle she said that when uh when  i talk to her that every day that's the first   thing you say when you guys wake up yep it's  the truth i mean she keeps me accountable   and that's what i needed i needed  someone to hold me accountable it's like since that's happened i mean we turned over um the gold star  thing started right after that and it's like every day i'm dealing with  that and i'm also dealing with   everything else that goes along  with it so i mean me and her we're thick as thieves now i mean we have to  be like put our backs against the wall just   you and me at the end of the day it's just this  the rest of it's just noise it doesn't matter   it's good for you like the big thing about mexico  it doesn't matter the only thing that matters just   family things i control things i can reach out and  grab and pull in everything else it's fake social   media it's not real people pretend like they're  happy and they're [ __ ] not and i see it now   i know exactly who that guy is i know exactly  the pain he's in under the pain that she's in doesn't have to be that way if we just open up and  we just say it can save people like i'm sick of   people killing themselves over what feels like a  a mountain of time it's not it doesn't have to be   yeah no i think we were just more open  about it just say it be a lot better off if you have one piece of advice for guys coming  out now because we're hitting 20 years you know   what would it be you guys transitioning yep  it's gonna be a lot harder than you think it is   i see a lot of guys who do a failed  transition now because they try to do it alone   you didn't do anything in the military alone  nothing you didn't you didn't write your own   eval you didn't do anything you didn't do your own  med checkups you didn't you had a team supporting   you the entire way through guys try to get  out and they try to reinvent themselves into   something brand new with no experience and they  try to do as a singleton and when it doesn't fail so damn good they hit rock bottom like why  like i get it you want to go to goldman sachs   that's awesome you're the only navy seal  in that [ __ ] place are you gonna talk to   are you gonna have a conversation with when  you're having a bad day a [ __ ] bad day what   are you gonna do you're gonna call everybody  else is busy like you have to have people to   check in with i think that's the other thing  that saved us after mexico we just say it   like there was open dialogue in that place now  all the gold star kids are in there we just say   it like we're not we're not having this [ __ ]  anymore we have open forum conversations like   you got some in your mind say it say  it right [ __ ] now don't hold it   don't let it faster it won't get better with  time you won't just get over it in five years   you won't it'll compound it'll snowball and it'll  consume you um well i'm glad you're spearheading   that yeah i appreciate it i got one last question  you have kids after all you've been through   all those deployments all those injuries mental  physical would you want your kid doing that yes and no if they were gonna  do it with true believers   with the right crowd that dedicated to  the mission um and really obsessed with it   absolutely if it turns into uh some  water down thing in 15 or 20 years where   it becomes like a part-time thing no  in my opinion that career field um   special operations in general it cannot be a  part-time approach you can't mass-produce that   you need people that'll obsess over every detail  the nation deserves it i have a kid who's lucky   enough to be a part of that absolutely but i don't  want some watered down i don't want that it's too   dangerous to have that it's like the only way to  do just do it right do it the best your ability um   i know i do it all over again i do every ounce  of it except for the last two years as far as   military every bit that i hated every time i was  [ __ ] somebody it's all part of the story i was   exactly where i needed to be doing exactly  what i needed to do and i'd do it all again well man i just want to say it was  a real honor interviewing and uh seriously truly it was an honor i appreciate it   so anybody looking to find you the links are  below and man i just wish you the best of success   and most happiness i appreciate  it thanks for having me on cheers you