seem to be the most obsessed with you yet the guys you're obsessed with seem to want nothing to do with you the secret is it's actually not a coincidence has everything to do with what you're even doing at all and why you shouldn't be doing anything let's discuss how to make men fall in love by doing nothing so that you can discover how to strategically do less and get way more love from the men you actually want to be with let's start with do not be reaching out I don't want you calling I don't want you FaceTiming and when I say I don't want you doing it what I mean is I don't want you doing it like in terms of reaching out to him I'm not saying you shouldn't call him back if you you miss his call or something like that but I don't want you doing the initiating of course this is technically an action but this is a function of the things I want you to scale back on that are hurting you that if you scale back on it they will simultaneously help you in your quest to get him to pursue you that means not over text that means not over WhatsApp that means not over Snapchat that means not over Instagram DM that means you don't uh send him reals that means you don't send him uh uh Tik Tok videos okay no nothing nothing couple of reasons you have better things to do with your life than be on the phone 24/7 being a pen pal to someone if he really cares about you that much and he really thinks you're that amazing and awesome he will make time to see you in person and you want to stimulate an environment where he only has the choice to make time to see you in person by taking away all of his other options so this is why you don't reach out because you're giving you're stopping him from having the option of getting access to you through the phone whether that be phone calls whether that be facetimes whether that be text messages I don't care if it's a Snapchat or an Instagram meme okay all of those forms of communication stimulate to him oh I'm getting to talk to her oh I'm getting to communicate to her oh I'm getting to be around her spend some time with her right even though you're not actually spending time with the person both you and him are being tricked into thinking there's some quality time going on there because you're messaging each other back and forth when you squeeze the life out of those forms of communication cuz they're so low quality his only choice if he wants to see you becomes I must go out on a date with her and see her in person I know in your mind you're thinking oh the more I reach out it's going to remind him of my existence let me let me let me let me tell you some a little bit of Truth here okay let me let you in on a little secret okay the guys that have your number have your Instagram have your Snapchat know where you work or work alongside you or are friends in your friend group they already are aware of your existence they know how to contact you and reach you if they want to contact you and reach you which means all you need to do is be patient and allow him to come to his own realization that he wants to message you and see you more I know for some of you that can be very painful to have to sit sit back and relax oh but I want this all to happen in one second I want this all to happen in 30 milliseconds I want all this to happen right right now right right now why can't this happen right right now why is it taking him so long to come to that realiz let him cook what I mean by let him cook let the men go through their own personal individual process of growing their feelings towards you over time okay I know in your favorite Disney princess movie everything happens in the first five minutes and as soon as he lays his eyes on the girl he wants to marry her I'll be the first to tell you that's not the natural progression of real life human beings that's okay though but I just want you to be patient enough to allow men to cook now number two I need you to stop sleeping over it's very important to present yourself as number one a hot commodity but also an experience what I mean by an experience is he needs to associate you with very strong emotions when he's away from you you want him to feel strong emotions like anxiety like he's not being able to speak to you like desperation that he wants to see you another time anticipation for when he's going to see you again is because very quickly you can take yourself from being this experience that only gets to happen once in a while where he can actually say to himself oh my gosh the experience I had with you going on a 2hour or three-hour date with you was so good all I can think about is seeing you again when you begin sleeping over all the time and you're around 24/7 all he can think is yeah you know you're cool and awesome and everything but maybe I would like to see you a little bit less because you're here 24/7 because when you stop sleeping over and the only time he gets access to you is on dates in those very high quality forms well then now all of a sudden all his all he has um in terms of experience of you is those high quality forms where you're going on dates you're talking you're chatting you're sharing me you're growing having growing memories you're sharing uh bits he's sharing bits and pieces of himself and his life he's becoming more emotionally invested of you as opposed to the sleepover where you know maybe you guys have pineapples you chill you watch Netflix you're not really connecting but you're existing around each other see that's great I'm not I'm not saying that you should never exist around your partner but especially when we're talking about the beginning of the relationship and a lot of you are in the stages where you're dating and trying to figure out the dating world you do not want to become quickly mundane and just existing and just around just all the time because one night sleepover will turn into I'm going to sleepover a second night or I'll turn in I'm going to sleep over the next week I'm going to sleep over two nights now I'm going to sleep over three nights now and all of a sudden on a regular basis you're spending three nights at his place and majority of that time is just spent with you guys having pineapples and watching Netflix and sitting around and relaxing so cool yeah it's peaceful but you also become very mundane where when is he ever having time to look forward to seeing you when is he ever in anticipation of the next time he's going to get access to you when is ever feing for your presence and so if you're texting him all the time and you're sleeping over all the time and everything is just chill and you're you're just there in existence 24/7 around him when does he have the time to miss you how can he you're literally right next you're literally right next to him just looking at him do you like me now do you like me more than you did last second do you like me more than you did 3 seconds ago do you like me more than you did 10 seconds ago what about now what about now what about now I want you to pay attention focus on okay listen listen now I do not want you planning dates I do not want you scheduling dates I listen listen to me very closely I'm going to get mad now I'm going to rent now I do not want you to remind him of what he said he was going to do and where he said he was going to take you and at what time he was going to take you there I do not be reminding men of what they already told you they were going to do why because if he really means it if he really means that he was going to do that thing like so for example let's say he says oh I really want us to go to the aquarium next week don't be sitting there when Monday comes and you're saying uh don't you remember when you said that you were going to take us to the aquarium on on this week um um so what what what day are you free that you wanted to take us the aquar or did you forget that you said that you wanted us to go to the aquarium I just I just feel like maybe that you forgot that you said you wanted us to go to the aquarium and I would really love to see some Dolphins I don't know you don't do that if he said I want to go to the aquarium next week let him be an effing man and remember what he said about going to the aquarium next week and he can reach out to you and tell you hey it's next week I want to go to the aquarium what day are you free don't do the job of the man for the man you get that anxiety where you start feeling like oh my gosh oh my gosh maybe he's getting uninterested in me maybe he doesn't like me anymore maybe he doesn't remember that my ey exist anymore maybe he doesn't remember my name anymore and maybe I got to I got I got to remind him that he wanted to hang out with me I got to remind him that let's go to this place I got you know I got to do the job for him and and make sure that we no no no no no no no stop it stop it everything we're talking about here doing nothing is is is about allowing the men to have the space to come to their own realization and take action upon that realization you do not do his job for him because it puts him in a position where he gets to sit back and relax and he says to himself oh so actually I realized I don't have to schedule time with her because she'll schedule it for me I don't have to plan this date because she'll plan the date for me I don't have to remember what I said I keep my word on or what I said I wanted to do with you this week because you'll do all the thinking for me and and it's going to sound crazy but very quickly you become the man because of your anxiety that if you don't do the things then he's not going to see you he's not going to like you he's not going to remember you he's going to forget about you four very important you do not beg for attention I don't want you asking him why he doesn't want to hang out with you more why he doesn't want to spend more time with you why he's too busy to call you you don't need his attention to feel good about yourself you don't need his attention for your life to feel interesting you don't need his attention for your life to feel stimulating you're whole when you're whole and you're investing into yourself that is the time when the men will be pursuing after you you need to find out what your life purpose is what your passions are what you care about outside of just being someone's girlfriend or wife because that will give you the Fulfillment that you no longer feel lonely your life can feel full and happy with joy without necessarily you being in a relationship and it's good if you have happiness and joy outside of just being in a relationship because when you have a Rel relationship it will just add to the happiness and joy when you're in that position and you try and get into a relationship you're going to be so desperate for that person's attention all the time because that's all you have when they're in that mind State they cannot chase you and mo to be honest with you they're not even attracted to you at that point if you feel the need to be begging for more attention I need more of your time I need you to care about me more I need you to want to spend more time with me right when you find yourself in that state you you have a different problem and you need to solve the root of your problem and the root of your problem is why isn't your life fulfilling enough that you feel like if he isn't here or present or paying attention to you or talking to you all the time that you your life is boring or uninteresting or you have nothing so anything that he does for for you is not from the purpose of I will love you so much and I want to be with you so badly that I want to do this for you or be with you more or see you more or spend more time with you it's charity I'm giving to you because your life is literally worthless without me in it and think about what a guy will do to you or how he will treat you when he is of the belief that your life is worthless without me in it number five do not Yap about yourself it serves no purpose it also makes you less attractive I know you're like why why does it make it less attractive for me to Yap about myself the more you trauma dump on people the more you talk to them about how insecure you are about all your different insecurities all it does for them is point to the point out to them what you're insecure about point out to them what your flaws are point out to them why you're not so amazing and why they shouldn't put you on a pedestal I know you think you're getting off your chest all the things that are on your chest save that for your girlfriends especially at the beginning of the relationship also the more you Yap about yourself the easier you make it it for him to manipulate you and get what he wants out of you why because as you Yap about yourself you also do make the mistake of telling these guys what you want exactly how you want it and when you tell these guys what you want and exactly how you want it he goes from being a position where he actually has to show you who he is and just You observe who he is for who he is and he starts thinking to himself well well well you tell me you want a guy who will buy you flowers you tell me you want a guy who will open doors for you you tell me you want a guy who will uh text you good morning and good night every night so if I know I just want Squirtle from you but you're telling me exactly what you want in your dream man if I just embody your dream man then I can extract Squirtle from you very easily I'll do that so then he's like wait one second and then he runs to the bathroom and he puts on his Prince Charming suit that is literally everything you just described you wanted while you were yapping about yourself and he comes out of the bathroom in his Prince Charming suit with exactly what you said you wanted and now you're like oh my God you look exactly like my prince charming I I can't believe it it must be magic it must be my fairy tale I must be a Disney princess like I've been watching in all my movies and you become convinced that this is your moment because he's dressed like Prince Charming and then he sleeps with you and then as soon as he sleeps with you literally literally as soon as he busts a nut I'm bust a nut and then he bust a nut and then he literally says right after that oh this is cool and he unzips his Prince Charming suit right he unzips it and he steps out of it and he goes yeah this was cool I'm going to leave this suit here I don't need it anymore because I got what I want from you I'll see you um whenever I feel like it okay goodbye the less you Yap about yourself the more space he has to talk about himself and the truth of the matter is people feel the closest to you when they can talk to you about themselves so when we get to talk about ourselves and make the relationship and make the conversation about ourselves that's truly when we're the most excited and engaged okay and you if you're trying to get men to pursue you the way that you want to pursue them you want them to pursue you you're always trying to get them excited and engaged and emotionally invested in you that you can get what you want out of him