Tansi n'Dotimak, mitanin n'askamon, kinanaskamotin to the K'et'zi and Sewali people for allowing me to be a visitor and the Semiamu people as well. To work here over the last couple days, to play here, to eat here, to be loved by their ancestors here. And to share with you today, Ni Mama, Papikasi's First Nation, the Nanapé family, and Ni Papa, the Lakota and Scottish Nations, the Fairbanks and Smith families, and Niwasa's Sadie and Jackson, and Misti Kwashki.
goes. So I have twins who a couple weeks ago turned 13, and I don't know how that happened. Well, I know how that happened. But I don't know how all of a sudden, it feels like literally overnight, they turned 13. But there were some very long days. days.
In the first year, I quickly learned why they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture. And so I encourage you to think about that for yourself and for the young people and children you're working with and the families. If they're sleep deprived, they need a little extra tenderness.
My name, as Maria said, is Monique. My traditional name is Mystique Washkigos. And I received that name almost 24 years ago. I was in an alcohol and drug recovery treatment center called... called Round Lake, up on the Okanagan territory outside of Vernon.
As part of my recovery of 11 years of very heavy addiction to alcohol that started when I was 11. And as part of the time when I was in treatment, the last... Last week there was medicine men who came from the Lakotas, and they did a ceremony called the Uwipi, which is both a healing and a name-giving ceremony. And in that ceremony they gave me this name, which translates to little drum. And the medicine man, Melvin, he's a joker, and he said, we don't give you that name because of your stature, being like a whopping five foot one. Although today with heels, I'm five foot two.
He said, but we give you this name because... of your gifts is to remind people of their heartbeats. And when we're in utero, the first sound we hear is that double beat of our mother's heart. And he said, that name we give you goes back nine generations on your dad's side and seven generations on your mom's. So that is who I am.
I feel very blessed to be here today and we're going to go on a journey and look at some of the aspects that can foster reconciliation in our country. We're at a unique time, a time that has never ever been seen before. So we're going to talk about the importance of respect.
and understanding our history. And when I say our history, I don't mean Indigenous history. I mean our history in this country. We're going to look briefly at the importance of resilience and four blankets that you can weave into your... practice because none of us are perfect so it's always practice we're going to look at relationships oh I came too far there we go and reconciliation all in 30 minutes so it's going to be very quick I'll give you a snapshot So where I want to start is looking at respect.
In a few moments, I'm going to share with you our seven sacred teachings, and one of them is respect. And we're at a time in our country where we're only just beginning to see the importance of respect in regards to understanding history. So this umbrella, some of you will have seen this, the top part of the umbrella are some of the key legislative decisions that have occurred in our country that continue to influence the wellness of our people. The raindrops off the umbrella, or sometimes as people say, the teardrops, are some of the ways this history continues to show up.
And then the four pieces there holding up the whole umbrella, the handle, will be the four blankets of resilience. So I have no time to go through all of this this morning. What I'm going to focus on is part of the legacy of Indian residential schools. In our province, the first school opened in 1863. It was a day school. It was St. Mary's Mission, not far from here.
And it remained open for 120 years. The last school in our country, the last schools, didn't close until 1996. So let's think about that for a moment. If a child was in kindergarten and they went to school in 1996, how old would they be today? They'd be 25. So often in my work, I hear people say, those schools happened so long ago, when are you going to get over it? And when we pause and think that a young person who could be 25 could be a residential school survivor, and the same atrocities were happening at those schools as they were in the early and late 1800s.
It causes us to reflect and consider that we have a lot of work to do in our country. Seven generations of families went to these schools, many leaving, as Senator Sinclair said in the final closing of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission, unable to answer such questions as, where do I come from and who am I? So let's take a couple minutes and pay respect to this legacy of residential schools.
So this is a photograph. On the left is young Thomas, the day he arrives at school. So you'll notice he's got two braids.
In our creed teaching, symbolizing both mother and father are alive. He's got almost like a skirt on so his being is not divided. And he has his moccasins on. He's connected to the land.
It's one of the pieces I think we don't fully understand yet was the disruption of the connection to the land, to the water, and to the stars as a result of residential schools. On the right is the very next day. So you'll notice his hair has been shaved and if whoever has cut his hair only speaks English and he only speaks Niihihó or Cree, what does he assume? That his parents have passed. So instantly he's in that state of trauma.
You also see his whole being looks different. Now I know that there's some controversy about this photograph. And as a matter of fact, I was in Burns Lake during a professional development day a couple years ago. And a young teacher put her a hand up and she said, I think that photo's been fabricated. And the elder who opened us that morning, I could see she asked for the microphone and I could see through the tables that her little skirt and her knees were wobbling.
And she stood up and she said, I remember we were eating mush and my dad said to us, they're coming today. And she said, we didn't have to ask who they were, we knew who they were. And he said to us, so when you leave this table, you go and you get in clothing so that when you leave this house, you know who you are. He said, they will do lots of things to try to take that away, but you don't let them. You wear those clothes.
And he said, they will probably take them, and you'll wear something else, but you leave this house with those clothes. And she said, that's what we did, my sisters and I. We left our house with those clothes, and sure enough, when we arrived at residential school, they took our clothes right away.
And she goes, we never saw our regalia again. And she said, so, you know, I don't know if that photograph is whatever that big word is you used, young woman. She said, but that was my experience.
And she said, now as a woman who has had children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren, I can't imagine what that was like for my dad and my mom that morning at breakfast. She said, because what they also told us was that if they didn't give us to the RCMP when they came to take us to residential school, then they were arrested and we were taken anyways. Because sometimes people ask me, like, why did parents give their children away?
Think about yourself, if you have children or grandchildren, would you just give them away to the RCMP? No, families fought and that's why legislation was put in in regards to children legally could be removed. Let's continue a little bit. This is a photograph of a classroom. I encourage you to notice the apathy in the children's eyes and where are the girls?
At the back. And what about the educator? What kind of essence does she have to fill the room with love?
It's almost like she fills it with something else. And this photograph... I'm a school, this is actually not far from my home community in the Kapow Valley of Saskatchewan.
This is LaBrette, and you can see the residential school, the buildings that support, the churches in the background. On the right-hand side, far right-hand side, you see the huge gardens that the young people and the children would have worked in. And you see the fence, and then you see the families who just couldn't be away.
That even though they couldn't talk to or touch or connect with their child or children, at least they could see them. And having had my twins, I know I'd be one of those families. The Truth and Reconciliation Commission, their journey was to be witness to the stories.
And so they didn't gather statistics. They listened, those three commissioners and staff, listened to 6,750 stories over six years. Imagine that. So these statistics come out of the largest class action suit ever in Canada, the Indian Residential School Survivors Class Action Suit from 2004. 90% of former students state cultural loss.
84% loss of language. So yesterday we heard about the importance of social-emotional learning all day long, and you already know this, and that culture and language is a key aspect to social and emotional learning. So whenever you have opportunities to weave it into your curriculum, please do so.
If you get invited with your class to go somewhere, please go. Hold up the nation of whose territory your school or your program is located upon. The second two statistics, 93% of the former students stated physical abuse and 64% sexual abuse.
Had the TRC kept statistics, guaranteed the second statistic there of sexual abuse would be higher. Because over the 10 years, the courage of survivors coming forward has increased. And if you think about these last two numbers here, and you think about the adage that goes, what I live with, I learn. What I learn, I practice.
And what I practice, I become. So if I grew up in residential school learning this and living this, how am I going to parent or grandparent or be an auntie or an uncle until... I learn a new way.
And then even when I learn a new way, if I get hungry, angry, lonely, tired, if I'm living in poverty, if I have stress or trauma or get re-triggered to trauma, I fall back to what I know until I relearn enough times. So this is part of our journey. And part of that journey is unpacking these four rules.
Don't talk, don't trust, don't feel, don't love. Those were the unwritten rules of the schools. So in your classes, you may be seeing young people or children who are still living these rules.
And what they just simply need is for you to love them. They will come around. It is their journey as to when they come, to be open to accept and to begin to talk about feelings.
These rules are part of why mindfulness, Roots of Empathy, Mind Up, are such powerful programs in schools because they gently begin to rewire these rules and in many ways this is how education is looking in our communities today. This is an Aboriginal Head Start in Fort St. John. You can see the children are outside so if it's sunny which it is they're getting the release of serotonin through the vitamin D on their eyelids. They've got gross motor movement, they've got some fine motor movement.
They're experiencing cultural dancing. You can see this one with the turquoise, looking over her shoulder, how proud she looks. And then up on the right, the educator.
The early childhood educator has a very different essence than the educator we saw in residential schools. So I mean no disrespect. I'm briefly touching on that piece of our history. But it is sort of the place that builds the foundation as we move forward.
And I know in this room many of you will know those pieces, but if you don't, I encourage you to learn more. Because that piece of our history in this country is part of our legacy. And we need to make sure that our children and our young children know this history so that we never repeat it again.
And a key reason why we need to never repeat that again is because that history has divided so many people in our country. And so where we're at is this place of building relationships. and fostering relationships based on our seven teachings. The first one being love.
So again, whenever you can, pause before you walk into your classroom or your program room and fill it with love. Not only will your day go smoother, but so will the children and young people that you have the privilege to work with. Especially those who have experienced or are experiencing trauma. Their hypervigilance will sense that love.
Next teaching, pardon me, respect and courage. I hear so much from teachers today. We have this new curriculum and I don't know how to do it and I'm afraid to misappropriate. I hear you and I encourage you to have the courage to do some small pieces.
And perhaps even say to your students, what would you like to learn? Let's go on this journey together. Because we as adults don't always have to know the answers. The fourth teaching is that element of honesty.
To simply say that as well to your students. As well, sometimes when we look at this history and we share it, I still get emotional. But that's being honest and true to who I am. So please encourage your students and yourself to show up with honesty. Share your wisdom and humility.
Humility is a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful teaching. And yes, it is about not having ego or bravado. It's about knowing the gifts that I've been blessed with and how to share those in the world in the best way possible.
And the children and students you're working with, you're like aunties and uncles and grandparents to them. They are looking to you to help them identify what are the gifts they've been blessed with. I had a teacher in grade 11, algebra. I had her twice because I didn't pass either time. And I used to spend a lot of time in the hallway for telling stories.
I know that's a shock, right? She'd just go, Smith. And out I'd go to my desk that was permanently in the hallway.
But she used to say to me, I can't wait to see who you become. And so she had her rules for how the classroom needed to operate, but she held me up by saying that. And so humility is also having faith that all good things in their rightful time.
All good things in their rightful time. Do you think 10 years ago in our province of British Columbia that we would have been ready for new curriculum? Not only around the heart and mind, but also around Indigenous programming and curriculum. It's about having the faith and the wisdom and the humility to know, again, all good things in their rightful time.
And this final one is the truth, and this is the truth telling that we've been on this journey in our country. for almost seven years now as part of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission. And so for some of the students you'll serve, hearing the truth isn't going to be easy, but it is a key element in our journey forward.
Because in that truth, you may discover allies, you may discover humanitarians, you'll discover those who are the peacemakers, and you'll discover those who aren't yet ready to hear all this, and that is okay. So those seven sacred teachings are influential in how you show up in the classroom or in your program and how you share, how you authentically share who you are. So those are some fundamental pieces in regards to relationship as part of the drumbeat of reconciliation.
So let's look at the third wheel in that drum and that was resilience. And to me, in my mind, yes, it is the ability to bounce back, but if we think about it from a cultural context, this young person here has made a dream catcher out of red willow. And red willow is also used as the backbone and the rib cages in our sweat lodges because it can bend, bend, bend, and rarely does it snap, which is so much like us as human beings. If this young person unraveled that sinew and took that dreamcatcher apart, that red willow would bounce back almost to its original shape.
but changed forever. Which is just like us. When we experience difficult times or even trauma, we can bounce back, but we're changed forever.
And how that change unfolds often depends, one, on our inner resilience, our ancestry, and these four blankets, the first one being a strong sense of self. And so as I said earlier, when we looked at residential schools, one of the key things that was removed systematically, as well as other key legislations in our country, was the removal of identity. And so it makes sense that the first blanket that fosters resilience with our children and families is a strong sense of identity.
Knowing who I am, where I come from, what's the land and the water that I'm connected to, if I'm part of a house or a clan system. Where am I in that? And what are my responsibilities? What language or languages run through my blood?
Do I have a traditional name or names? This is all part of that sense of self. And again, I don't mean it from a place of ego or bravado.
But the more solid and rooted our children and young people are in knowing who they are and where they come from, the more resilient they will be. Before I went to treatment, I used to get blown around all the time like sagebrush because I grew up in a home where there was a great deal of internalized racism. My mom was removed at birth, lived for the first three years in an orphanage, and then was adopted into a non-native community in Saskatchewan where she was the only child of color until she was about 12 when a Chinese family moved into the community and opened a restaurant.
My grandparents used to go the last Sunday of every month for dinner, and the little grandma in that restaurant used to come over to my mom and rub her arm and touch her face. She was seeing her, just like Linda asked us so beautifully yesterday, to see each other. That grandma was seeing my mom, and she'd bring her extra egg rolls.
And so today when we go for Chinese, what does my mom always order? Egg rolls, because it has that... affinity for her of being seen in a community where she was never seen.
So this identity is crucial. That's the first blanket. The second blanket is our sense of family.
And this can be our biological family, but it can also be those who we love and those who love us. Because if you think about yourselves, there's people in your life who are like family, but you may not be biologically connected to them. And for some of the children and youth you work with, you're like aunties or uncles or grandparents. We heard that with Hannah.
We saw how emotional she was touched when she felt the love of the teachers at her new school. The third blanket that then wraps around a strong sense of self and our connection to family, so also here around family, is to consider who in children's family can you bring into your school or programming? that are healthy and vibrant.
What can they share? Support them. And to use the term cookie people to consider with children and young people who are the people in their lives who are like cookie people to them. That when they're in their presence they feel bigger and better about themselves.
It doesn't mean this cookie person always likes their behaviors, but they love them. And when they leave their presence, they feel better about themselves. I hope as I gave that description that you think about who are the cookie people in your life.
And maybe tonight, give them a phone call or send them a letter. And if they've passed over to the other side, maybe just take some quiet time and offer thanksgiving. The third blanket that then wraps around is our sense of community. And we heard a fair bit about this yesterday, the importance of feeling like I belong, that I have a role, that I can contribute, and that around me are multiple people who hold me up.
You can see here these little ones. This is actually taken in mission not very far from here. It's a kindergarten class.
And this elder comes in. Every Friday, she makes fry bread with the children. Unbeknownst to them, she's also teaching them math. They make their fry bread, she fries it, and then they sit and feast.
And she tells stories and then the children go outside and play. Imagine the opportunity for teaching and for education once they've come back inside. Because they've had this beautiful connecting time, they've eaten food that's full of love, and then they've been outside. Wow!
Think about your curriculum. What in this week must be caught by the students? And that's where you place it.
This elder, I loved her. She was a little shy to have her picture taken, but when we were finished visiting, her phone went off, and it was a ringtone, and it was that song, I'm so sexy and I know it. So it gives you a sense of the spunk she brings.
So be curious about who is in your community. Who can you bring in, and how can you go out? And I know in my community that we're being inundated by schools asking to come in.
So some of that then is, you know, how do we co-work together so that I might come once and then you as the educator or the person in the school, then you pick it up. The fourth blanket that then really weaves them all together. Oh, we're going to go here first, pardon me. We're going to go to Aotearoa, to New Zealand. I had the privilege to go there three years ago and explore, talk about what we're doing in our country around early childhood education, but also I felt like I learned more than I shared.
This was one of the schools we went to, it was called Manitamariki, and it's in Palmerston North, and it's from our equivalent from birth to grade 12. And there's only two doors in the building besides the entrance doors. One is for the washrooms and the second one is for the sleep room. And the sleep room isn't only for the children, the little children. Yes, there's cribs and tiny beds, but it's also for adults, the teenagers, and the staff. Because think about yourself some days.
If you could have a 10-minute lie down before going back into class, what would happen, right? Boosh! And then you can serve in a very different way than if you're exhausted.
You can see this little one sitting on the lap in the middle. This was his first day at Manitowm Ariki, and they have a belief around transition that goes like this, that a child can bring with them whoever they want, for however long they want, until they're ready to come by themselves. So this is everybody this little guy brought on his first day of school.
So how do you do transition? Something to think about. Imagine for him how nurturing and gentle that would be.
And how for many children transition is traumatic. So it gives us another context that leads us into the philosophies that are rooted in culture and language. So this is the blanket that weaves the three together.
This is the fourth blanket. And when I say culture and language, I mean connection to the land. the water and to the stars as well. And that we have over 600 nations in our country.
203 of those are in our province. We have 34 language groups and 75 dialects in our province. So culture is a huge aspect to how we weave it into our programming. First, know whose territory you're on. That's the starting place.
When you look at this little one, what would be some emotions you think he might be experiencing? Just put a couple out. Joy, wonder, love, divinity. Those are such powerful learning emotions. that whatever is taught out here on the land, and this is actually taken in the field of a school, whatever is taught out there will land in a very different way than if he's either sitting on the floor or on a tough seat.
Also out here, it's part of kindergarten readiness. If you need this, outside we have all the shapes, all the sizes, all the colors. So please, get your children outside. As much as possible, take circle time outside. Take story time outside.
Take those high school students outside. Make them move so that their brain synaptically fires on both sides. Make them move. Movement is medicine.
So when we think about culture and language, we begin to think about how can we have that as part of our work environment, whether you're in a class or an early childhood setting. This is a program that I had the privilege to found in Victoria. It's called Journeys of the Heart.
And it's a parent participation preschool, cultural preschool. So the parents must be present. If children are in care of the ministry, then we ask that the foster parents and the biological parents be present.
You can see here this little one on the left, she's the wing chief for the day. So she's responsible to arrive early with her family, and if that is a challenge, then we have a van and we pick them up. She helps ECEs prepare for the day, as does her family.
She stands at the door and welcomes everybody when they come in. She blesses the food at feast time, also known as snack time. At the end of the day, she calls together the drummers, who are all three, four, five, and they either sing a friendship song or a round dance. And you can see here these twins.
Those aren't mine, those twins, though. And the brother, he's not interested in a hug. Thank you very much. Now, this little girl in this photograph is three. That's a lot of responsibility for a three-year-old.
But she's been watching how the older ones do it since September. And this was taken in April. So she'll do it in her way and her family will do it in their way.
But she's been watching. And that's one of the key ways that our people have learned since time immemorial, is watching. Our children are watching. So I'm curious about what would you like them to see? And it leads us to reconciliation, to a time in our country that we're embarking on, a huge time of healing.
I was commissioned by Orca Books to write a book, a non-fiction book, on reconciliation for grades 5 to 8. It'll come out next September. And I've called it Reconciliation is a Journey. And I had the privilege to interview young people and elders from across the country.
And the messages I heard were so profound. It still chokes me up, especially from our young people. I had this young man who was 11. And what he told me, he said, you know, he said, our country, he said, I think that our country needs a lot of help. He said, I think about it like this, it's like a tree. You have the roots.
And then the trunk grows, and then the branches come out, and then the leaves come, and then the fruit comes. And he said, we're nowhere near the fruit coming, but when it does, our country will be a beautiful place to live. That's a little boy who had just two days before turned 11. So it's like those young people in that beautiful... A clip that Maria showed us yesterday that those four teachers brought together those children.
Our young people are leading us in reconciliation. That young man, his name is Sahaj Sadu. Just to honor him. So, what can you do?
Here's a simple few examples of what you can do. Deepen your understanding. of residential school system and its impact. Organize a book club and read books that talk about our history, including residential schools. There's a book club in Nelson, British Columbia, and what they've decided to do for their year was read all of the reports from the Truth and Reconciliation Commission and then come back and talk about them.
It's an act of reconciliation. Share your understandings about our history in residential schools and social settings. How many of you have been in social settings when somebody has said something and you don't know how to respond? It comes back to that teaching of courage. It can be as simple as, did you realize the last school closed in 1996?
And that a child could only be 25 today and gone to that school. And that 9 out of the 10 children who went to those schools experienced physical abuse. And that we know 6 out of 10 experienced sexual abuse. So it will take generations. A simple response like that can alter things.
Because if we respond with anger or with shame or with guilt, people shut down. And the last thing we need in our country right now is for people to be shutting down. We need to be opening up and discovering how do we move forward.
This is one of my favorites. Host dinner parties or feasts or picnics where reconciliation is the topic. and have little cards on everybody's place table that has a question on it and let that be your dialogue around the table. Now please, when you invite people to come to this dinner party, let them know what you're going to be doing because dinner parties often have a very different context than talking about reconciliation and Canada's history.
And ask the children in your life what they're learning about Indigenous people and our history in this country in school. The thing that shocked me when I interviewed all these young people, there was almost 20 of them. Only two had been learning anything in school yet. And I wasn't ready for that response, to be very honest with you.
Most of the young people were learning it either by listening to CBC. Yay, CBC! or through their parents, or their own personal interest.
So it tells us we've got a lot of work to do yet. And so when we consider this, what I'd like you to think about is what can you do in your personal life, and what can you do in your career? Because one day we're going to be the ancestors. What do you want them to say about us?
What will be our legacy? And what will be your legacy? To think about these questions. And as part of reconciliation, one of the most beautiful pieces I keep hearing from people is that it starts with love. From almost all the elders I heard, and the privilege of interviewing Dr. Marie Wilson, who is one of the commissioners, was the message that it starts with self-love.
When we look at that photograph of the educator in residential school, I don't get a sense of self-love from her. When we look at the policies that occurred in order for the atrocities against humanity occur in those schools, there was no love in that. It was the opposite. And so we must start with love.
and the holding up of each other. So I want to do a little bit of holding up just as we come to close. So if you have been working with children and youth for one year or less, would you please stand up?
One year or less, would you please stand up? So please come. Thank you very much for your contributions to the wellness of children and families.
And up there as well. Come on down. May your journey working with children and families be blessed.
For those of you who have been working with children and families for five years or less, please stand up. Five years or less, please stand up. Thank you for your contributions to children and families. Now I hope you're doing your math. Those of you who've worked with children and families for 10 years or less please stand up.
Oh wow! Thank you. for your contributions to children and families. If you've been working with children and families for 15 years or less, please stand up. Thank you for your contributions to children and families.
20 years or less, please stand up. Wow! Thank you for your contribution.
Contributions to children and families. There was about 500 years of experience right there. Wow. If you've been working 25 years or less, please stand up. Oh.
Thank you for your contribution to children and families. 30 years or less, please stand up. Thank you for your contributions to children and families.
35 years or less, please stand up. Wow! Thank you for your contributions to children and families.
40 years or less, please stand up. Thank you for your contributions to children and families. 45 years or less, please stand up.
Thank you for your contributions to children and families. Let's see, 50 years or less. Please stand up.
Thank you. Thank you for your contributions to children and families. 55 years or less.
All right, you two, would somebody please take... All right, here we go! Whoo! Come on! Would you, excuse me, would you take this up to him?
He's right up there, the third row from the bottom. They'll guide you. Yep, they'll guide you.
What is your name, sir? Tom? Sean, thank you for your contributions to children and families.
I cannot imagine your contributions. Wow. And I bet you have some stories. Yep.
So as we come to a close, I encourage you to think about what do you want our legacy in this country to be at this time? And what do you want your legacy to be? Amitakwas, all my relations.
Thank you.