Notes on Attachment and Alloparenting

Definition of Attachment

• Attachment: Dependence of a young child on an older individual.
• Four S's of Attachment:
  • Seen: Acknowledgment of the child's presence and feelings.
  • Safe: Protection from harm; caregiver should not induce fear.
  • Soothed: Comfort given during distress.
  • Secure: Overall feeling of safety and trust with the caregiver.

Alloparenting in Humans

• Alloparenting: Collaborative caregiving among community members, not just biological parents.
  • Term derived from "allo" meaning "other".
  • Uncommon in other mammals, including dogs, mice, and even other apes.
• Sarah Herdy: Emeritus professor who emphasizes the importance of alloparenting in human evolution.
  • Discussed in her book "Mothers and Others".
  • Alloparenting has fostered human collaboration and adaptive nature.

The Role of Attachment in Lifespan

• Attachment is a lifelong process; it evolves as individuals grow.
• In adolescence, attachment figures often shift from parents to peers.
  • Important for social development and survival.
  • Adolescents still need to maintain some connection with parents.

Peer Relationships During Adolescence

• Peer relationships are crucial for development and can feel life-threatening due to evolutionary instincts.
• Adolescents may emphasize peer acceptance, leading to decisions based on peer pressure.
  • Peer Pressure: Giving up personal values or morality to fit in.
• Understanding the significance of peer relationships is essential for caregivers.

Importance of Relationships

• Supportive relationships are key to happiness, longevity, and mental health.
  • Research consistently shows that relationships are the number one factor in overall well-being.
• Adults need to honor adolescent independence while remaining supportive.