Notes on "Speaking Better in the Moment"

Introduction

• Discusses challenges of introducing oneself and making small talk.
• Importance of speaking effectively in spontaneous situations.
• Example: Stanford MBA students struggling with cold call questions.
• Developed a methodology to help students feel more comfortable and confident.

Methodology Overview

• Six-step methodology focusing on speaking in the moment.
• Divided into two categories: Mindset and Messaging.

Mindset

1. Managing Anxiety

• Anxiety is common in high-stakes situations.
• Two-pronged approach: manage symptoms and sources of anxiety.
• Symptoms include dry mouth, sweating, heart pounding.
• Techniques:
  • Deep belly breaths (exhale longer than inhale)
  • Warm water, lozenges, or gum for dry mouth
  • Cold objects in hands for blushing/sweating
• Sources of anxiety often tied to fear of negative outcomes.
• Strategies:
  • Be present-oriented to avoid future worries.
  • Physical activities, talking to others, or mental exercises like tongue twisters to stay present.

2. Maximize Mediocrity

• Importance of not over-evaluating oneself.
• Focus on being present and answering questions rather than perfecting responses.

3. Viewing Opportunities Not Threats

• See spontaneous communication as opportunities rather than threats.
• Improv exercise: "Give a Gift" to practice spontaneity.
• Tools: Growth mindset, "Yes and", "Next Play", viewing mistakes as "missed takes".

4. Listening Effectively

• Listen deeply, focusing on the crux of the message.
• Strategy: Pace, Space, Grace
  • Slow down, give space, and use intuition.
• Use paraphrasing and clarifying questions to enhance understanding.

Messaging

5. Structure

• Importance of structured responses in spontaneous speaking.
• Common structures:
  • Problem, Solution, Benefit
  • What, So What, Now What
• Structure aids in clarity and helps prioritize information.

6. Focus

• Be concise and focused.
• Have clear goals: information, emotion, action.
• Use concise structures like:
  • What if you could, so that, for example, and that's not all.

Resources for Improvement

• Podcast: "Think Fast, Talk Smart".
• Book: "Think Faster, Talk Smarter".
• Techniques for improving communication: Repetition, Reflection, and Feedback.

Conclusion

• Emphasis on practice and continual learning to improve spontaneous speaking skills.