Keys to Healthy and Valuable Relationships

Basic Principles of Relationships

• All relationships are driven by need
  • Even with Allah, humans seek a spiritual bond.
  • Needs serve as the glue of relationships, but Allah is independent (SWT).

Wisdom from a Centenarian

• A 114-year-old man, Addihesh from Az Zulfi: “Everyone nowadays is a good person.”
  • Logic: Financial independence reduces reliance on neighbors and others.

Importance of Relationships and Mental Health

• Solitude and depression:
  • The Ministry of Health stated long-term solitude is a leading cause of depression.
• Healthy relationships:
  • Crucial for overcoming depression.
  • Includes a relationship with Allah, oneself, and others.

Steps to Healthy Relationships

1. Relationship with Allah (SWT)
   • Belief, acceptance of destiny, and following orders.
   • Good manners towards Allah reflect in relationships with His creations.
2. Relationship with Oneself
   • Importance of self-acceptance, appreciation, and self-confidence.
   • Loving oneself vs. arrogance.
   • Fixing self-contempt: Complimenting and developing oneself through small steps.
3. Relationship with Others
   • Individualism vs. relational living.
   • Concept of reciprocation vs. kindness and generosity.
   • Dealing with workplace and personal relationships appropriately.

Modern Relationships and Challenges

• Consumerism: Piled up relationships vs. devotion.
• Social Media: Increases consumerism, lessens devotion, and dilutes responsibility.
• Globalization and Individualism
  • Freedom vs. Safety.
  • Importance of family and extended social network for real safety.
• Dehumanization
  • Bureaucracy and reduction of people to numbers.

Types of Relationships

• Living Relationship: Nurtured by commitment, obligations, kindness, and justice.
• Sick Relationship: Avoidance of blame is the main motivation.
  • Responsibility and cooperation can heal sick relationships.
• Sickening Relationship: Over-demanding and blame-heavy.
• Dead Relationship: No demands or obligations, similar to living with a tree.
• Temporary vs. Permanent Relationships: Importance of role awareness and appropriate prioritization.

Relationship Tips and Strategies

• Setting Boundaries: Lower the ranking of regular relationships to maintain balance.
• Acceptance and Awareness
  • Acceptance of one’s and others’ numbers and roles.
  • Understanding relational dynamics and contextual importance.
• Avoiding and Healing Attachment Issues
  • Understand signs of unhealthy attachment and take steps to move on.

Key Concepts to Remember

• Behavior in Relationships:
  • Interpretation of actions rather than immediate reactions.
• Prevention of Relationship Breakdown
  • Communication of needs and fairness.
• Leadership in Relationships
  • Treat others with goodwill and humanity regardless of reciprocation.

Final Thoughts

• Stay Mindful and Aware: Apply knowledge to cultivate healthy and valuable relationships.
• Prioritize Humanity over Legal Formality: Aim for kindness, cooperation, and true connection.