Hey and that's a watch party I'm like hi guys we're still learning and figuring this out just welcome to eat to make may 21st this is the third convo I'm heart-to-heart huh and just really excited to be here and to share with all of you and I'm welcoming my good friend Denise Smith denise is a beautiful woman of God and her and her husband have owned their own business for 10 years and there's ticket a little bit more but that through our conversation fresas denise is what she's called gracious tea is on a journey from religion to rebellion to kingdom learning my intimacy with God is like when you walk in believed in power Healing is her greatest joy and seeing people healed by the power of God her new addiction she's felt bones move under her hand blind eyes open deaf ears open cancer healed and so much more she's had the privilege of speaking and doing two healing services and looks forward to more opportunities she got to minister internationally for the first time in August in Newcastle USA doing the healing and prophetic ministry she is passionate about teaching her six children yes I said six children how to move in healing in prophecy she's a team member with sunrise cultural center courts of heaven ministries and loved seeing the change in people worldwide as they complete their session which I got to be a part of which is beautiful she's determined to help others have an experience with God that changes their lives forever she and her husband Mike have big dreams of their future together in God but are in a season of incredible molding and transition love that her heart's desire is to show people the love of her father and his great love but look to me I just feel so honored to have you come on and share like I've known you for a few years now and I remember the first night I met you we were invited to a book club meeting with entertainment in people different people here Kelly what am I doing here even though God's got creativity boozing within you and you share about that but she was sitting across the table from me dressed in this amazing dress gorgeous shoes and her beautiful blonde hair and I was like being there oh yeah media and ministry and I was like I'm not in media I'm not in ministry and then I was like you're so beautiful and then she tells me yeah I have six kids and I was like what so mama mama Janisse is so much more or freshest teeth welcome so share just a little bit about they've already talked about your your children but maybe you could share a little bit about where you live and where you grew up yeah so I was living in BC and then I came back to visit my parents in Alberta and I danced with a cowboy and now I have six so be warned ladies that a lot of red wine it gets me every time I now live in Alberta still and yeah I'm just navigating what life looks like my life has taken such a shift in the last three years I'd say I was born and raised in a very conservative Church I knew about Jesus but I didn't know him and I knew stories about him and I knew you know I knew a lot of the right answers for Sunday School but I didn't know that he loved me and I didn't know that he had a plan for me and I didn't know that he was real and not just a storybook of rules to try and keep kids in line um I think my life really drastically changed I met a man and he prayed over me and he anointed me and I hit the floor and I started speaking in tongues but I didn't believe in speaking in tongues I was always talking about you and I didn't believe that healing was for today and I didn't believe the gifts were in operation today and when I had this experience I felt God in a way that I'd never felt him before and I couldn't explain it away and I could make sense of it so all I could try to do in my natural thinking was try to prove it wrong and I thought well I don't believe in speaking in tongues but that just happened to me and my husband was there and he saw it all happen he didn't understand it either so next thing you know I hit the streets and I start praying for people not out of great faith I mean there was faith somewhere inside of me there was a gift there but it wasn't great faith there was more skepticism or doubt or trying to prove it wrong than it was actually very faith and God met me there and that's awesome your needle Tennyson I just want to introduce you a little bit more about your personal life and then we're going to deeper or just have some little tidbits about you before we go into the programs and I'm from you because you're the powerhouse prophetic well share it together so I love sharing that with other people and it's beautiful to seeing you and I love that part of your journey so I want to kind of savor that once I just wanna kind of highlight on your kids for a minute your six kids like six kids their names and their ages and and were their names they have some unique names here ah yes Wow okay put it down down perfect Wow beautiful family beautiful family that's like one of our most recent family pictures and yeah our oldest son is chip-chip means free man that's why we picked his name because it means free man and his middle name is Ray which means with protecting hands it's also my grandmother's initials Rosalie and England our daughter Zoey love there was a question that she would live and be okay because of hemolytic disease of the fetus and newborn my blood was mixed with the baby's blood upon birth and so it caused complications so when she did live we called hers oh we love destiny again there was a question that she would live and that hemolytic disease wouldn't take her and she was born and she was fine and we called her destiny joy because she was our shocker baby so we had three kids in three years at that point and then we ended up having Zakaria Blaise he was born right after the day that my dad passed away my dad was terminally ill dying my whole life and he was really my person so that was like the hardest time of year for me but he was born right between my dad's birthday and the day that he had passed away well Zakaria means God is remembered and his middle name is blaze like passion to burn brightly and he and it's passionate let me tell you he's a redhead and he's fiery and then we had Max's a dog and Mac means son and Zadok means righteous and just and he is very priestly he carries it very priestly anointing like his name I can see it manifesting already and then we had Axl and Axl means father of peace and middle name is Gilles which is my new dad I love him very much and his last name is Gilles and Gilles means son of a servant of Jesus Wow so our kids have huge destiny and we know that their names mean very significant things and they were very like directed by God what we were to name them we knew that and we were in full agreement upon their names we had six kids in eight years which was really hard like it hard what they're all c-sections and man I just felt like I didn't catch a break there at all it was difficult but yet a blessing like I'd never change it if I could even though I feel like I'm just kind of trying to limp through it like messed it up so much because it's been so hard and I haven't been the mum that I always desire to be because sometimes you're just so overtired or so overwhelmed or right it's been difficult but yes America's Senator throwing six kids in eight years yeah like hats off to you and bless you like wow and I'm sure there's so many stories behind the everyday now you're homeschooling with this government for that one you get to know your kids in a whole new way is it pretty adventurous every day it's pretty crazy we're not taking it maybe as seriously as we should to be honest for the sake of coping I'm working right now yeah waitressing it's brand-new for me we lost our business of ten years just recently and God has us in a totally new place and a place of transition so I applied for two jobs and I got the first two jobs that I applied for which was waitressing at the water tower and a bridal shop um and so I'm waitressing and I'm surrounded by 20 year old kids and it's very strange I'm really a place I feel really unsure of what it's looking like right now but at the same time I know that my steps are ordered of the Lord so for the most part Mike's doing the homeschooling and we're just really gracing ourself a lot and gracing the kids a lot and just trusting that God will catch him up where we aren't doing the best job there I just want to say you're an amazing mama and and you can just totally rest in that because all of us moms who've raised children we always think we could do better but you know God shows you exactly and I know you know that but just from one moment to another my friend Julie here says Wow beautiful and your husband goes yes I mention the comments here I know you can't see them so well my word yeah I love celebrating family because you know people see you and your beauty is you know not know of your story and there's so much to you that you know like they could miss it because you're such a you know gracious woman you know and and you have this a hunger and a love for God that I love about you and so this one a little bitter personal because I many people know you just only like where you're praying for people or you know where you're you're getting a download from God for prophetic and so I love that you can share about your family and mike is an amazing auntie i here's a good dancer right my mom buddies she's probably trying to figure out how to get my mom my a mic helper Matt can you help great so so you are working on the book and I know it's probably over a journey but called say something and what is the motivation behind this and and out maybe hope we can inspire you to get somewhere even voice memo um so I started the book probably about a year and a half ago and they put it down and I haven't picked it up since it's really raw it's hard it's it's my testimony it says we overcome by the blood of the lamb in our word of our testimony and for so long I've been so ashamed of my testimony I've been so ashamed of the places I came from and the things that I chose and and that was so it was something I wanted to hide and God is healing me and he's changing me so much and he's helping me become the new me so much that that part of me I don't feel so ashamed of anymore so I see myself picking it back up soon even though I can't say I'm totally there yet and I think it's because when I'm finished it I'll know that I need to release it and I'm apprehensive about release it's so close to like I can't and then I thought about releasing it without my name like anonymously and that somehow brought me peace but at the same time I think God has healed me so much and will continue to heal me to the point where I'm ready to share everything and and where I'm not afraid of sharing everything you know I love your vulnerability and I love that you are growing and learning and then now you're raising a new generation in a whole new story which is so cool like god bless you in that with ferocious voracious how afraid stearate fame was fruitful prolific God gave me that like I've never heard the word before and he gave it to me like I heard it and then I was like what the heck it up and I looked up the meaning and I was like wow that's interesting and then my name it means fruitful and prolific that's what I missed sorry is rooted in Genesis which means like beginning the garden right beginning work on aim Jenny Smith and yeah a fruitful prolific and then Genesis the curtain I somehow I don't know I just love it and so forest when did you you got that for you green what can you hear me now I can now you froze again oh man these internet things um phrases Jeannie did you get that name for just the name or was that when you're starting a blog to do ferocious they were starting around yeah for Asia ferocious how does it makes it for right how do you say HS bravery okay just like generation I like it and so you started the blog win um it would have been right after I got baptized in the Holy Spirit so that was November 17th 2016 Wow and you and you were writing about some topics that are not as comfortable in your you know conservative groups but very much needed in our world and in times we're living in I have four adult children like there's a need for people to be raw and upfront and to share and so just want to honor you in that you you've shared with me some of your painful you know pieces of in the years of growing up and positive experience you know African spice I was asking what are some of the highlights that stand out to you and impacted you deeply is there any even just one thing you'd like do you feel comfortable to share that is not pushing I think that no matter what I'm learning to see that every attack on my life or everything that's been sent to destroy me or everything that shuts me down or hurts me it turns into anointing when you're in a religious mindset every attack feels like it's coming straight from the hand of God and there's something wrong with you because there's either pride or despair and the pride is there when everything's going right and you have every reason to be like yeah I'm doing good right but as soon as things aren't going good you somehow feel like the hand of blessing the hand of the Lord the hand of his favor has been removed from you or when you're experiencing painful things you somehow think like he didn't see me or love me enough to stop them why um and that's such a religious mindset and and gods really set me free from that to the point where I understand that every stumbling block becomes a stepping stone everything that he appoints me for to experience that's painful and that's hard and that almost destroys me and the harder it is it's like the greater it becomes because on the other side there's such anointing um and I think that's like the mercy and the justice of God it's like the enemy thinks he wins and in the moment when we look at the painful thing or when we're walking through it or experiencing it it really feels like the enemy's winning but there comes a point where God brought into your view and he lifts you out like we were talking like an eagle right with eagle eye view you can be on time and you can see God's hand in the whole thing and you can look back and you can see like wow he's really done something with this and it's become my joy it no longer destroys me it no longer defines me he defines me and now this is my my joy it's the thing that makes me happy it's the thing that releases me to be who I really am because out of that pain he burst something beautiful sure he stirred it and I've been pressed by the beauty of but God has put in you you know even just praying for me beforehand tonight because of life coming at me and I'm still walking through a journey of healing and loss and we get attacked in these things love huh but you said that brings hope you know something becomes a Stephanie so like it's like literally looking at okay what God seyton a test for evil God turns to good and so I love that you're looking at life that way because we forgot to mention even earlier that there was a thought that you might not even have children and you have six there was diagnosed infertile yeah married at 17 to who I thought was the love of my life and I was really naive and hopelessly in love with him and I ended up in a mess I ended up living on the streets and living in vehicles many times and jumping from house to house and midnight moves and always on the run and always afraid and always looking over my shoulder like waiting for everything we were doing to catch up to me like just always afraid and um I blamed God for everything wrong that happened but I at the same time would credit him for the good things right but I just thought he was withholding from me and I just thought he didn't love me like he loved them and there were so many them's that I could see like I could see all of the ones that I thought he really loved and that I thought he really cared about but I never felt like I fit there um I always loved God I did even I mean I remember being a tiny little girl and loving God but I didn't I didn't know that he loved me I hadn't experienced his love yet I hadn't been like washed clean yet and forgiven yet and understood how much he actually loves me and why why he died for me why he gave up everything so that he could have UPS like I didn't get it yet um and then I would pee on a pregnancy test for five years and I just thought like he'd stop doing drugs and he'd stop being crazy and he'd stop being jealous and he'd stop being controlling and he'd stop flying off the handle and he'd stop if I could just have a baby so then there was something really wrong with me right I was broken there's something wrong with me nobody would want me which only fueled the abuse even more because it just made me feel so unvalued um and then it also made me feel rejected from God it made me feel like he didn't think that I'd be a good mom and and that I didn't have a right to be and I'd read some of the verses yeah it just it was a really hard season it was so difficult and then when I met Mike I had been in hiding for a year not long before that and I cut off on my hair and yeah I have a history of cutting off my hair when I'm super angry and when I'm in just the worst season in my life so I cut off on my hair mostly to stay in hiding so he couldn't recognize me and the judge signed my divorce paper and he's like Jenice um I don't want your blood on my hands he's like so I'm signing your divorce paper and I'm gonna override the law so that he doesn't need to sign so that he doesn't know what court host you're applying in so that he doesn't know where you are and I've still never heard a girl with that story before I've still never heard a girl that had that kind of favor from the judge and I don't know if it's I mean I don't know why other than it was god he was just protecting me and I've never seen him since the day I left I've heard his voice once as my parents were calling 9-1-1 and i ran to the basement and was hiding under the stairs like the the woman shelter taught us this plan in case it happens but I've never seen him God's really protected me from him and I've wrestled fear like you wouldn't believe he's found me twice on the Internet you're still my wife you better talk to me I'm gonna make your new marriage null and void which is code for I'm gonna kill your husband just terrifying but at the same time God wouldn't have got me out of that just to let him get me a mint it's like the Israelites right when they were leaving and they were being chased down by the Egyptians like God didn't just let the Egyptians get them so that that passage of Scripture has comforted me so many times to just know that God's protecting me and that he loves me and that he has a plan for me and that that part of my plan is over and and just trusting him learning to trust him it's been really cool too because it's really given me a step up for being able to love my husband like the husband that I have now is the most incredible man he's the kindest man he's my best friend he's my lover he's he's my groom like I adore that man I respect him and I love him so much I cherish him and it's easy I think to take for granted when you haven't experienced the opposite because you'd expect it but when you don't expect it and in fact you expect them to be like wicked to you or to be rotten to you or to hurt you or to accuse you and they don't like after a while and you finally realize it took me a year and a half two years before I finally realized like he's not gonna turn into a monster and he never did and it just makes my adoration for him like that much more he's my hero he's my sweetheart like I love him so God even turned that for good the stumbling block even there became the stepping stone and the anointing for a godly marriage right and a beautiful friendship between a man and a woman what an inspiration for so many to see how God turns something so scary ugly painful and something beautiful and Mike's writing on here my faith was bigger than him so God God blessed you when you felt like you didn't even deserve it it's not that God wants to withhold these things from us and it's like God just almost said favor you know on your life and that is so true and someone else said God always gives us greater than what we expect right and I can't see people's names unless they allow extreme merit to show their name so I don't know if it's ready but someone said what an amazing testimony and I really feel like your story you've shared bits and pieces with me over time and so I've seen and heard like some of the things that you've gone through and it's incredible that God is now leading you to just pray with anyone no one's a stranger and I'm comfortable with that that's who I am too but you know you're going out to the highways byways downtown oh right yeah and you know that's one of the things you love the most next to God and your family is now your heart and that's exactly a testimony of coming out of that and now you're going down to meet with those who are where you were before whoa and then not just loving and sharing with them and you know embracing them but also releasing the miracle of heaven janila healing so I just I just I just want to release even more of that father God and Holy Spirit for janista call on her life and God the people who are watching here that you would pray for nice because that is such a deep deep gutted passion in her spirit like literally it guts her to see other people's body healed their mind healed just to bring that that's her heart so I wrote the question down here but just share what you feel in your spirit about that Jenice yeah so somehow to me it feels like justice having a dad that were sick and dying my whole life and being in a culture that accepted it instead of took power over it and being the same being it being that culture myself we had that mindset ourselves as a family and that it was somehow his cross to bear and whatever just the powerlessness of it um and then losing him but not only did I lose him like he was sick and dying my whole life so he was pretty much checked out in so many ways checked out on my mom checked out on us because he couldn't be the dad that we needed right he was sleeping all the time he was in the hospital all the time he was sick all the time he was recovering all the time he was it was just a constant like strain and weight on our family and it caused so much grief and he'd missed I mean he'd missed Christmas concerts and he'd missed we couldn't have birthday parties or things things couldn't happen that could have normally happened right my my parents weren't in leadership positions in the church because they just didn't have the energy and the time to do so and so it really created this us and them mentality I think in my brother and I because my parents weren't in positions of leadership they couldn't lead and we were always kind of the outsiders because they spent so much time together at all their functions and we were never there so then when we were there they'd all be talking about what already happened but we've missed it right so just kind of created a an outsider feeling for us and it robbed a lot and so somehow there's this justice that seems to be satisfied in me when I when I got to step in and when I get to trust God to work in and through me I love the verse God your eyes room to on fro on the earth looking for someone to show yourself strong in and I love that somehow he made me believe him he made me believe that he Hills cancer and he maybe believe that bones can move under my hand and he made me believe and I didn't even like he did it out of his kindness his mercy because I was actually kind of trying to prove him wrong because I didn't I was so stuck in my mentality um but it's justice because I get to see people healed I get to see somebody's daddy healed I get to see somebody's mama healed I get to see somebody's sister somebody's friend somebody's child like I get to see it and it somehow makes me feel like I'm getting justice for what the enemy did of my life right same way mmm sexual assault cases and whatever it and girls that have been through crazy trauma like that like I I can minister to them and I get to see I get to see healing I get to see heart healing I get to see soul wound healing and and that somehow makes me feel like I'm getting justice for what happened to me when I was a little girl eating disorders I was a very honor x''k and very bulimic um my value of myself was so low and I just somehow thought that I wasn't good enough and I would eat to punish myself sometimes but then I would binge after and then I would also not eat to punish myself and then I would also do it to reward myself because somehow it made me feel like I was in control and like I felt better and not to like I get to minister to girls that have been through that that have experienced that that I've felt and that have had that same demonic attack of anorexia on their life and again it feels like justice so someone said justice or what the devil did amen someone else said thank you Jesus yes your past doesn't define you you are now in Jesus name that year you got you got people right with you Jenice celebrating with you and I wanted to mate to be we love to hear your story but I know what you carry in in releasing and clarity about I'm still learning I need you well this is this is like more strengthening and growing mark this is like let's just do it but you had said you had downloaded to me yesterday assent me identity thing you wrote up would you would you want to share that with us I think I think it can relate to many of us here that we we meet right like this is what's so great about your story is so many people can relate to you in their own story and seeing how God can turn things around and it's not like your life is perfect obviously not your your host like six kids that are like so close the days together and busy and chaos and you're transitioning your jobs and your your business and God has a great plan on your family's life and now you're working as a waitress which is opening up other relationships in your life you're helping other people just by your story and then still coming and trusting God just pray with me night the spirit that lifts it up you know and bring it back to him and that's what I love about so even when you're shipping this identity you know that this is the real this is the raw okay then we come back and then we're back into the Holy Spirit and when we go boom so for a long time um I felt like something was wrong with me like if I could just be like them if I I just felt like something's wrong with me there was such a deep-rooted shame in me for as long as I can remember and there was always this sense that I couldn't get it right I just couldn't I couldn't get it right I always missed it I made the same mistakes over and over again something's wrong with me like I'm deeply flawed um God's been talking to me a lot I've been so quiet on for a shift she because God has been absolutely revamping me and remodeling me from the inside out he's helping me to really see the new creation that I am and for the first time in my life I can say that I'm really honestly starting to accept the woman I am and I'm starting to love her like for the first time in my life and I think I learned this from the courts of heaven and from my team my ministry sunrise cultural center but for the first time in my life I can look in the mirror and I can tell myself Denise I love you and I can't see that he created me good there's not something deeply flawed in me and I love in Genesis where it says he created everything right like all the things he created he would say and it was good and it was good and it was good but then he created man and woman he said it is very good and the whole point of Jesus dying was restore us back to what it was like before sin right we need to understand I've come to this place now where I'm starting to understand that I'm very good and I'm finally starting to accept myself and befriend myself as weird as that feels to say and as weird as it sounds I've really started to become a friend to myself um and I started to really enjoy being alone with myself where I used to avoid being alone with myself because I couldn't I couldn't handle that the thoughts that I had are the feelings that I had about myself that's changing so praise God so Holy Spirit um day before yesterday or was it yesterday's days think yesterday by me write down just some things about myself that are just true they're just my truth they're true they're just who it's Who I am um and for the first time I'm not super upset about it like I actually embrace it this is just the way that my dear my wiring is um and at this point it seems like a good thing I mean he might show me where some of these things need to change or are still changing but I wrote I am strong in my body but I'm so tender in my heart I am intense and extreme I have two settings high and off I want everyone to get along and to love each other RMT are you there Jenice are people still can you comment and let me know if you can see me going hello okay your bus is interesting timing okay we're back you were frozen so this is really important talk to me I was like I don't know what to do but okay so umm I'm taken for an extravert but I have deeply become introverted since motherhood I love to be alone with God and if my thoughts uninterrupted I feel the pain of others and I feel energized to do something I am brave bold and courageous but I have battled fear all of my life I am a person who's been hurt and deeply wronged yet I can see that each and every time that happens God turns the attack into anointing I am very trusting in nature yet supernaturally made wise in the spirit to see what I normally couldn't so that's something that when I got baptized in the Holy Spirit which is like cool and I still don't understand it so if any of you know what I'm talking about feel free to message me but I started seeing waves over people's eyes and it would be it's the only thing I can compare it to you is heat waves in the Sun if you look at a barbecue or Road or a train track there's these heat waves that distort images where you can see I don't know like it's hard to explain but I see waves over ice the right eye the left eye are both and I see waves over mouth when people are talking and I also get letters in my ear so I'll get a flutter that's literally a physical flutter that I can feel but I can also hear it in my right ear or my left ear and they all need different things I'm a very literal person and I take things very literally like I take things at face value for what people say and I'm really trusting that way but God's given me the supernatural tool in the spirit to be able to tell when people aren't being straight with me or when some things wrong or when something's really good so that's been it's been a light for me it's been I mean it helps me and that's just the love of God working in unusual ways I'm very trusting in nature yet supernaturally made wise in the spirit to see what I normally couldn't people either love me to a shocking extreme or they hate me with a passion and there's not much of a middle ground for me my husband why not the other day and I'd never heard it before but he said jennice if there's one thing I've learned in the last like decade of being with you or longer even we've been together about 15 years he said genius it's that people either love you with such extravagance that everybody is like how did that happen or they absolutely hate you and they're trying to cut your throat I don't know it's like there's really a middle I'm not sure why that is but it's just the way that I am I guess um I am wired to ensure mercy triumphs over judgment yet I have this deep and profound sense of justice and responsibility to see it come to pass I am an all in or all out kind of girl not really a middle ground I'm happiest or sorry my happiest moments are when I get to see the goodness of God manifest in the lives of other people and be a part of it um I value hard work and great effort knowing that we don't work for man but for God I'm drawn to kindness more than strength or position or influence I have an admiration and a fascination with intelligent people probably because most of my life I've wrestled wrestled with feeling stupid this is so like raw guys learning to understand God's ways and to partner with him who I only move when I know that I know that I know if I'm not certain I stand still mmm I am deep and analytical but highly creative when I'm feeling low that restores my balance I take things very literally and I have a hard time discerning undertones apart from the spirits leading I expect people to do what they say or at least have a conversation about why they cannot respect such an important quality to me when someone is wrong I expect them to make it right or address it if they don't I disconnect because I feel they don't value the relationship I am extremely loving and I seem to measure my value and how I love other people um relating to God as a loving father is so easy for me my expectation of his goodness is unusually high I am greatly impacted by both encouragement and criticism I'm highly motivated by encouragement while criticism makes me hard and determined I love to laugh and I'm a very optimistic person I am bubbly and outgoing but I balance it out with time alone I love to help and serve people it makes me feel good I love music in particular drums drums do something inside of me that I can't explain and live in me I have a heart for women and I see beauty in all different kinds I am very drawn to beauty a plea desire to see people healed and set free from life's traumas my love language is predominantly touch but words of affirmation and quality time are close behind that I am exuberant when I'm happy and everyone in the room is impacted I tend to stuff it when I'm sad and I become introspective I hardly cry when I'm sad when I'm angry tears flow uncontrollably so usually if I'm angry I pull away until it subsides I cry happy tears when I'm relieved this is what heals all the sad tears that I stuff I hate the taste of red wine but I love how it makes me feel and I love it was Jesus's first miracle I think that's so cool I am so nervous in social settings but I never feel that way when Mike and I go together this the song that reminds me of him is I like me better when I'm with you he's my gift from God I love being a mama although it's been super hard as we have six kids in me and all c-section I love thunderstorms they invigorate me and they make me feel alive I love the ocean and I dream of living by it I love to sit on the beach but not swim in the cold water I love to travel but now I am drawn to multicultural settings I am super sensitive to smell attracted or adverted I am very sexual and unashamed but that was a journey of restoration from God I love sweets I love meat and I tolerate vegetables I am extremely honest sometimes to a fault I have this drive to learn from older more experienced people I get energized by restoring anything broken ugly or truck she into treasure or beauty I am a giver and it makes me feel so good I do not like to receive it makes me feel like I've lost my personal power God's been changing my heart some in this area okay so some is totally underrated he's been totally changing my heart in this area gives me in this really strange season where he's giving to me non-stop in really abundant and unusual ways like ways that would shock anyone um and I'm finally starting to be able to receive it and to understand that it's from his hand and that it's okay to receive I have a deep need to be understood and known I'm friendly and I love to talk or smile or help a stranger it makes me feel like me I crave silliness and playful times I'd rather starve than sweat working out I'd rather how I can connect them do an activity together without talking I have a tendency to overshare and then feel uncomfortable afterwards when I really know someone and feel comfortable with them I get quieter and I measure my words but enjoy being beside them peacefully the nervousness in me makes me ramble and new relationships so those were just some things that I'm with Holy Spirit I like what I really like Who am I how like how do I work like how am i created Who am I and there's something freeing about being 37 like I'm learning to accept Who I am and love Who I am and kind of be be okay with it instead and I think part of that actually was meeting Sarah ball so Sarah all she really changed my heart in that area because I remember asking her to pray out of this place of shame like I always make jokes about sex or whatever with my husband or whatever and I'm like please help me something's wrong with me and she's like nothing's wrong with you she's like that's who you are like my ex you like touch that's okay she's like there's nothing wrong with that she's like if there's a lady that doesn't then then there's nothing wrong with not like that's just who you are and it kind of helped me to just get wings and that's what she does like she just has a way of putting wings on people and giving people this freedom to just be themselves I hope she can come share her story Denise thank you that was that was so precious and you had a lot of comments here that were like thank you I can relate to this a transparent heart as a teachable heart I'm glad I clicked on this desi is so good yes so thank you Denise because I know she's just even from what you shared there you you will get quieter and you pull back a real Brown feel ramble because you're nervous but God's doing something in you in the season and this is like your voice what you just read is your voice and you're saying Here I am this is who I be and I'm speaking it out and so I just honor you in that because it's such a privilege to have you come and share with you know our friends I see some of your friends on here and your mom came on a while back as you were sharing and she said I love you Denise and so happy to be your mom you were amazingly gifted of God so I just wanted to read that and Mike was he's written some things in there too so you can check them open them in a bit um we have like 15 minutes left here and I thought it'd be really cool if you're up to it I don't have a raise name in the it's here so I don't know if people want to write their names so I can know and I just we just pray like let's just take a moment you pray ask Holy Spirit to lead you for who God would have you share a word for or I pray for it are you good for that I pray see I can't see any comments honey I know you can so I'm you're gonna have to I'm gonna have to cut up to look yeah on Facebook is it in the heart - I guess Mike can see it so all right all right I have the names that I do see [Music] okay okay so I have my per minute let me live let me read can you see it okay good can I click on it so I'm really drawn to Bianca Thomas beyond that I I just want to honor you God says you're exactly where he wants you um I just have this sense that he's saying your weight where he wants you um that your heart's being made ready I just have this sense that he's so pleased with you and then he wants to remind you how much he loves you and that he made you for incredible things I hear about Jesus trying all men to himself and I have this sense that in you Bianca Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit is gonna draw men to himself that you're called to step out and be brave and be bold step out in words of knowledge and words of wisdom and speak I have their sense that in this next season he's gonna really anoint you with gifts to draw men's hearts to draw women's hearts so I just pray for a magnetic presence over you that people will be drawn to you wherever they go that you'll walk in a room and and they will be drawn to you they will notice you they'll see the anointing on you and it will give you an open door to speak into them and just trust that the father is with you and trust that he's always speaking like it says in the word and that he wants to and that he loves each and every one of the people he places before you and just I would encourage you to just ask God to really give you his eyes for the people that he puts in front of you and that you would see them not for where they're at or for where they've been but that you would be able to see with absolute supernatural clarity what they were created to be and who they are and speak that into them does that resonate at all can you reply Bianca are you there I just sent her the link to see if she can click on the thing let me know what you think Bianca let me know what he's saying to you um Stellina Selena I hear the joy of the Lord is your strength you'll have the oil of joy above your peers I hear that a season of joy is coming upon you so strong that you would be it would be like um like an apostle of joy like you you will be known for it you will be defined by it and people will see the transformative power of God as you're anointed with it I have this sense that he's going to give you such an incredible anointing to love the people around you and it will make you so happy because you'll be doing everything that he's created you to do and you will feel so much like your father in doing it that it'll bring you incredible happiness it'll bring you joy um let's see who else we got here I do so much better when I can see so I'm trying to screenshot and then blow it up so I can see faces quarry it was a lot is that coryandlaura yeah okay just give me a sec I'm just waiting waiting Cory you're coming into a season of confidence that you've never known before a totally different level of confidence and I hear the verse do not throw away your confidence God gonna take you into new places I just have their sense he's gonna take you in to new places that are gonna require your confidence and as you move and as you live in the spirit and not out of your soul that confidence is going to come out and you're gonna be able to accomplish the things that he's sending your way and they're gonna be beyond you like we're going to be bigger than you think you can achieve they're gonna be bigger than you think you can do I just have this sense that you're gonna come into a whole new season of belief just belief and what I can do through you and in you that the confid we'll be so pure because it will be not confidence in yourself it'll be confidence in your God and your Creator and in his ability to put things in you to do that's going to impact the world that's going to impact people and and ministries and businesses even I just hear it again do not throw away your confidence so I I'd go to Google and I look up that verse I don't know the reference I listen to the Bible almost all the time so I don't know the references for everything but I know what it says um let me see who else who else is on here Stacy there's Donna Kristin Donna Donna Stewart wait is it Donna Stewart yeah yeah whoa yes Oh Stephanie and Steven - yes it's done oh you're such a bright spot I love your worship anointing and I love I love how you're such a Titus - woman how you you build women it was like God never gave you a daughter but he gave you a passion for women as if you have daughters all over the world and I see you pursuing like younger women and I see you not being threatened by them at all but just loving them and caring for them and just being a real Titus to women teaching teaching the younger women and man I love that about you who else is out here Stacy there's a Arlene airy Christine Stephanie Steven my Mary and Mike I see your wife is like helplessly in love with you she's a ring with a cop and she's so glad you asked her to dance babies out of her I have my bianca here i'm gonna bring her on to tell you okay do it hey hey look I said I'm a mess when I've been out today yes oh my god you it just sent chills cuz I don't know if just before I said my name I put in there that because I have a women's organization I had been molested I've been through I mean Stacy knew I've seen the look on her face she started smiling cuz we connected in California but so now I put it in the group that it got that I would hear Holy Spirit because you know I have a woman's organization that we ministered women hope and healing they've been through semester the childhood molestation I was molested you know been through a lot of stuff had low self-esteem and so even now and this season I'm like oh okay god what is this next step I want to make sure I'm hearing God so you know when I want to bring him glory that's all that's my part so when you were saying that it was I could just feel the God I'm like oh my gosh cuz I was supposed I wasn't supposed to be on here because my phone was dying and so happened I seen beautiful day see face pop up in the see what's going on when I'm putting up groceries and I'm like and so oh my gosh so that was you've already heard like you know yeah yeah it yes Stacey know me I'm just you know it's like people say I'm like you know I don't look at myself we're doing the Google you're talking about I am and it was crazy because I wanted to cry because in my coaching group I'm having the women share that but in that sense it's like I said but you really never sat down and really find out who you were in look in the Lord because that's my mom I'll be 58 this year and so it's like you know I'm always giving so when I started sitting down and thinking about certain things about me you know and like you said you know we allow Jesus to be our Savior but that lordship of that healing and God was saying you know beyond you don't really know who you are I still I'm confident in the spirit realm you know because that's God so meet ministry and stuff but when it came to me producing you know I'm thinking that am I good enough you know am i anointed enough it might you know it do I have these people food or what you know relate to that I can so relate to that but I also have this side of me where I thank God I'm like God if you don't show up I'm done I'm like I'm not doing anything and you know I tell my pastor cuz I'm like I'm like you know I I I'm one those people I tell them I'm like you know is what is my boundaries in the prayer room was on intercessor and I'm a prayer also as well as ordained minister and I said because when people come demons are acting up and you know in our church is kind of a young secret Church you know and I'm like so I don't wanna make people feel good I want people to get delivered in here so I just need to know cuz I don't even have to do anything and so he's like I trust you and people like me I'll you just draw people you just drop in I'm like but and it's like you either they love me or they hate me I have a story I have to bring you inside we tell our don't have time today but that is so awesome like when you were telling me guys I thought I've got to bring her on and let her tear because it's so cool what do I still feel it thank you thank you I'm gonna hold back the tears thank you God knows I really I mean for my heart I'm not just I really need that because it's like then I'm gonna say praying because God really showed me doing this I am training women to really know them I am that this wrong I'm a procrastinator and the reason why because my mother father were perfectionist and so I I spent too much time creating stuff because I want to be perfect because I wanted to be accepted and my good is not good enough and so oh so it's like um I just think I thank you thank you stay so to say this is the father's heart and just like he wants you to know that everything that you give to him he just receives it and he draws it into his heart and he he sees your motive he sees your love behind it he sees your intention behind it he sees your desire he's not even looking at the thing the thing doesn't matter to him what matters to him is you yeah you know he he's so pleased with you he loves you mama Bianca yes and you know what I just heard that this this is the time for you you're coming into the you know the next two years is the big six zero but you don't even look at but this is a time for you I'll be 58 I'm not coming to fix it yet no no I said 51 and you know what I feel like God is releasing something in you for the women of your generation and other generations but there's something special and what you've lived through and what you've carried the birthing of it it's it's it's delivery time you know it's delivery time so I'm really excited about that like what Jenice was brought to say to you and for such a time as this God brought you on tonight you know and I almost was like only mission do this tonight because it was one of those days really but God knows and he just sends that forward in obedience just just say yes and someone said the other day who knows what you're won yes yes impact so recording is right so I can keep this yeah it's all night is there anybody just really need that word is there anybody that thank you Bianca thank you Bay yeah I love you baby is there somebody that really just needs a word now like write your name in men or just yeah write your name if anybody needs just I have an IO me on here that keeps popping up on the thing here okay oh I can't get her picture Naomi I wish I had your picture Naomi I sense that God is gonna give you strategy strategy to win and defeat the enemy I'm hearing the verse he orders your steps as you sleep so I don't know if you're a dreamer of dreams if you dream dreams then that's what he's talking about and if not then there's an impartation for prophetic dreaming I just I just have this sense that he's gonna use the dreams that you have to move you to the next levels whether they're daydreams or night dreams but that in particular he would order your steps as you sleep but you could also have like visions I have this sense is there's a real call to prophecy on your life like you know things that you shouldn't know where most people wouldn't know under this sense you carry intercessory as well and that he is really excited about what he's gonna tell you and what he's gonna show you and then I just heard I don't call a no longer call you servants the friend knows what the father is doing the friend knows what the master is doing um I just have this sense that he's gonna really bring you into a friendship and intimacy where he's gonna tell you the secrets of his heart and where he's gonna give you strategy does that resonate with you can you give us a reply so why don't we why don't you pray for two more and then if Naomi wants to reply or come on I've given people links when to you up to jump on of giving them that opportunity I have some people that wrote in the comments can you see them mm yep I'm just going through Lena said Selena is my sister and she said amazing she wasn't on my camera ready so she just said amazing okay thank you Jesus this is fun yes it's your it's your love and let's go girl hang on I'm trying to screenshot you who is it Michelle Anne's okay boo Michelle I see a fierceness in you I see such a like a warrior spirit in you a fierceness like God created you to be absolutely bold and fearless which would make sense if you've had a big wrestle with fear most of your life because quite often the attack comes in the area of our anointing right um but I just have this overwhelming sense that you you're gonna step out places other people wouldn't you're gonna do things that other people wouldn't you're gonna go bravely and boldly and you're gonna be clothed in power from on high to do what you need to do and you're gonna be given the resources and the people that you need to accomplish what it is that he set out for you I have a sense that you're a bit of a forerunner like you I don't even know if you see that in yourself yet but that you're a forerunner that you're meant to go ahead and lead and pave the way and that people start to follow you when they see what he does through you does that resonate with you Michelle is this Michelle saying yes struggle with fear been going through counselling seeing huge freedom Amen is that you Michelle spirit keeps peeking and I just ask that you would um really speak to her heart that you would help her understand that she carries a heart like David and an anointing like David and that she has already fought the lion and the bear and that eventually she's gonna come to a place where she sees the giant and she's not afraid of it and she can see her god bigger than she can see any enemy and it's out of her fixed focus on who you are God and what you can do that fear loses its power father I thank you that shall lead many women into being set free from fear a man amen I know he went over but this one more because I know how important it is pray for its fun okay let's just let's just go a little bit longer just to enjoy seeing card moves is that you beeping or what's going on at the fire alarm the other night in the mill tonight said fire or fire or some man's voice I don't know weird Christine little darling I hear little darling I get this endearment sense like this the sense you would have from a little child from like a tiny little girl I get this sense of just like the the softness the like that a mother or another woman would have when they look at a tiny little girl with like the ribbons and her hair and the pretty little dress and whatever I get a sense that God looks at you like that he looks at you like a tiny pure little girl and like he really just delights over you were singing like he he just adores you you're his little darling um I have this sense that you're gonna help women connect with the little girl inside of them that's been lost or that's been destroyed or damaged I have this sense that you're gonna help reconnect them to that little girl in a way that makes them feel emboldened and not fearful not um not afraid to go back not afraid to face her not afraid to like see her before the thing that made her that way I don't know if that makes sense does that make sense to you Christine does that resonate Mary Lopez I'm just trying to look at your picture here Mary Lopez I hear you're safe you're safe in his arms that song the name of the Lord is a strong tower the righteous run into it and they're safe I have this sense of like really protective love like that the Father's heart of just protective level for you and that he just wants you to know that you're safe in his love and that he'll turn all things for your good that it's okay to let the soft side show that it's okay to show the real you that tender you the softer you and that he will protect you and that you're safe in him and that you're more than enough does that resonate with you so Naomi she said it resonated with her it was very encouraging and she's working on getting there and Christine is not adulting to come on she's not gonna adult right now if she's only the little girl thinks she's like she's not coming on she's in her PJs so she's laughing and Mary just waiting to hear a response there so does there anyone else that it resonates that I've got another word for Christine Christine I have this sense that you you're like a midwife of sorts where you bring people back to before the things that destroy them or hurt them you bring them back to like you you pull them out of where they are and you move them back to like it's like the I don't know how to say what I'm seeing it's like the restoration restoration duration I don't know if I'm that's Christine was my very first guest on heart-to-heart hub and she has a book she's written four books but her one book is called embracing me which is dealing with maybe I need to read that book that's really yeah so that I'm sure that resonates with her well it's eight thirteen so we probably should end in prayer but let's come on we'll bring Denise back on at another time to just for praying and prophesying I believe that would be really good the incus is so good so fun they gave me a lot of good comments you can check out on face hallelujah glory Jesus so father God I thank you for the jointing and the story that you've put on Denise thank you for her celebrating who she be and sharing that with us thank you that it's more than okay that this is who she is and we have our mom on there her husband there saying yeah go Denise which means that's you know that's even just an affirmation of saying yes we love you who God made you to be right and it's okay to be beautiful and that's the thing that our were like you know you you embody that do you embrace that beauty you love beauty and you are beautiful and your beauty makes it easy for you and curling and spend at but your beauty makes the way for you and a push-up bra exactly you're naturally beautiful but those are all nice enhancements but you really are naturally beautiful and I just want to bless you in right bless you in the beauty from within and the beauty without I thank you for sharing your vulnerability with us and the anointing that got spread a new life and I just want to celebrate it's it's launching God's launching you with your voice and what he's speaking it down moving to you and doors are gonna open things are gonna get released it will blow you away and it's for such a time as this the only saying is say yes say yes and and be courageous and bold like you are but I'm just just affirming and confirming I'm hearing that in the spirit and there's about is a lot about to happen that is surprising for you and your family but God is going to show you and you'll feel peace about put it but you say be faithful what I've given you and just say yes when I ask you like coming on tonight with all the craziness is going on in your life you took the time out and I just thank you for that it means so much to me that you would come and bless me in the journey that God's taking me on and someone to sorta nice to have an apostolic calling on your life and you know she's radiant with the glory of God being Cosette and other people are saying yes so Donna saying thank you both that was so good honey honey and 700 club here we come yes bringing in the women and there's an army rising up to break every chain break every chain to break every chain and I was feeling overwhelmed in the night mister singing that song and it was like I felt chains breaking off and every time sometimes it's a daily thing so thank you and it's hard to say goodbye we're having a I got something to say before we go I got something okay we're having our white are go ahead I have a zoom cold I just like to start at 8:15 with this whole core group but they'll though I they know I'm on here so don't wait for me I hope if not I'm sorry but we love you and I value your friendship to me um when I first met you I didn't understand why you liked me but I liked that you did and it mattered to me and I didn't even know who you were I knew nothing about you but I know that something settled and relaxed in me when you talk to me I have a sense that you have that gift with a lot of women that when women are insecure or when women are afraid or when women are wrestling like hard things that you have the ability to just settle him um Stacey I have seen you time and time again prophesy into my life things that you never could have known unless you were hearing God in the middle of the night I I would get a text from you and I would wake up in the morning and be like what the heck like how does she know that and I go check my facebook Walter if I left any crumbs or clues that you would know and I'm like there's no crumbs the clues like how did she know that and you would just at the right time like when I just need it because I mean it's been I mean hoho it's been a storm has been a crazy a crazy last three years but just at the right time you're able to speak in my life and I really like I admire your gift and I love to see you operate in it and I love how you just seem to do it with just ease like I just don't see any like I don't see any stress or anything from you when you're operating it and I really admire that like I think it's beautiful and I think it's really safe to say I want to be more like that I want to be more confident of my gift and I love that your steps ahead of me and that I can just watch you and learn from you um when I spend the night at your house and we talked all night long I came to minister to you because I love you and I care about you so I came to minister to you and the thing that really bothered me and messed with my head as I was driving away from your house was that almost the entire time I was there you were ministering to me but that's not why I came and I was like who is this woman that are so strong that when I'm coming to like love on her she's the one like pouring into me like you just it's you pour and you're beautiful and I really admire you and I honor you and I love that you're an influencer and a builder of Kings that your voice and and your thoughts change the course of history and change thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of lives and more than that like even millions look at your kids I don't even know who your kids were until recently so I bless you and I love you I love you tonight how we do on the mountaintop again I can't wait to see you dancing again and that'll make me so happy thank you for coming with me in this season all of you that are on here in the Facebook group and just walking together that's so beautiful and Denise I didn't expect you to love on me like that but thank you I I feel blessed and honored that I could be a part of your journey and that you could be mine and I love how God knits people together and so that's why I wanted to do these conversations is to bring people that I get to enjoy to myself that other people get to see the the rare and precious of beauty that's in so many of you women that are in the Facebook group and more and I just want I want to put everybody out there and I think you know man once a week is not enough yeah we better we better end off guys thank you so much thank you for staying with us longer for those of you joining in some time later be blessed I pray that your life is touched thank you for having the boldness and courage to come share your story Denise and I hope that we can have you come another time and share the awesome welcome you guys to check out for HSG on yes yes the feeling guards gonna be moving me to start sharing more and more now can might type it in how it's spelt exactly gracious yeah oh there right now okay you do it for people so then they can find it yeah and you're under freixa Stian here but her name is janice je je ne se Smith so if you want to if you want to find her in our group and and address a friend or you know connect who knows their God and ask them can let me know my favorite part is knowing how God lines things up because you know it blows me away how God likes people and things up and this Facebook community is a big piece of my heart like the women that are in here are not women I just randomly met for the most part it's this is women that are big stories in my life and I've touched me and I've been able to touch into your life and I want others to see that I want others to see your story to see your testimony to see God glorified in and you think oh well it's nothing oh no every life matters every life matters so tell your wonderful six children and your amazing has been thank you for sharing your time and we will have you back I'm learning and growing you're part of my learning you grow it here oh I got to help you yes you get to help me it makes me feel less nervous so thank you I love you guys have an awesome good night thank you rob I steal the words on you amen