Transcript for:
How to Write a Band 9 Response for Pie Charts

in this lesson I'm going to show you step by step how to write a bond 9 response for pie charts I'll show you a simple method that will help you understand any pie chart and give you this simple structure that my students have used to write Bond 7 8 on 9 responses for pie charts so let's dive in and I'll show you how to write your response sentence by sentence so the first thing we need to do is understand the question and understand the data and a lot of students get scared when they see pie charts but they're really nothing to be scared of and I'm going to show you how easy they are really to understand so the first important thing is you will normally get two or three maybe even four pie charts but there's nothing to be scared of the more pie charts there is this isn't going to make it more complicated but the question format never changes you will always have a question statement giving you information about the data this is really helpful so make sure that you read that and understand it so for this one it says the charts below show the share of the Swiss Watch Market by brand in 2020 and 2021 so you always have the information here helping you understand it and this is also going to be really important for our introduction which we'll come on to in a minute or two then it says summarize the information by selecting and Reporting the main features on make comparisons where relevant so a different way of thinking about main features is important features so it's asking you to look at the data look at the pie charts and select the most important data not all of the data you should never attempt to write every single piece of data that you see and make comparisons where relevant if it's relevant if it's important you should make comparisons but if there aren't any important comparisons you don't have to write about those so many students look at pie charts and think like I don't know anything about pie charts I'm not a mathematician I don't know anything about statistics but if you compare this raw data so on the screen now you'll see the raw data that I used to create these pie charts would you rather write a report about the raw data or would you rather write a report about the pie charts pie charts are designed to make data more digestible easier to understand so if you switch your thinking from I hate pie charts to oh good here are pie charts they're making it easy for me to understand then it just psychologically makes Task 1 a lot less stressful and makes your task much much much easier the other thing that I hear from students is I don't know anything about this topic I don't know anything about this data you don't need to know anything about the topic so I specifically picked this subject because very few people in the world know anything about luxury Swiss watches but the only two things that you need to understand are number one what is a watch do you know what a watch is and number two do you know that there are different brands different companies that make watches that is the extent of your knowledge required to answer question you might not have ever heard of Patek Philippe or AP Audemars be gay or Cartier it doesn't matter they're not testing your knowledge they're testing your ability to look at the pie charts and Report what you see so the most important thing that you need to do is understand the data and there's one question you need to ask yourself in order for you to fully understand the data very very quickly remember we only have 20 minutes to write this and that question is what is the purpose of this data why did they make this chart this is real data that you can find this was made by Morgan Stanley Bank well they made it for two reasons number one they made it to compare the six different Swiss Brands and they made it to compare the two different years 2020 and 2021 so once you start thinking about it in this way what is the purpose of the data why did they make it it makes it much much easier to understand and gives you laser focus and helps you write your response so now that we've read the question and we've understood the data let's think about how to write our answer let's look at the structure that we give our students so for Task 1 academic we use this pyramid structure paragraph one is going to be our introduction paragraph two our overview and then paragraph three our details paragraph number one paragraph four details paragraph number two the reason why I have made it into a pyramid is to help students think about how much information they are giving in each paragraph in the introduction You're simply introducing the topic introducing to the reader what is this data about so you're including no detail whatsoever in the overview all you're focusing on are the most important things you're not really going into detail it's a little bit more detailed than the introduction but all you're doing is picking two three four important things and telling the reader what they are in your overview you are then going into detail in paragraph three and paragraph four this is where you're going to write about the data you do not write a conclusion because a conclusion is simply your opinion and you're not giving your opinion on any of the data you're reporting it exactly how you see it some students ask can you put the Overview at the end you can do that but I just think it makes it much easier for you to think about and you to write about and for the examiner to understand if you put it into this pyramid structure okay let's write our introduction so to write our introduction all we're going to do is look at the question statement here the charts below show the share of the Swiss Watch Market by brand in 2020 and 2021 and we're going to paraphrase this we're going to State it again so that it means exactly the same thing but using different words now we don't have to change every single word we just need to change enough of them so that the sentence looks different so the pie charts illustrate the proportion of wristwatch sales by six watchmakers in Switzerland in 2020 and 2021 we're not going to try to change the word the the is the you can't change it don't freak out because I repeated a word so the charts we can change that to pie charts don't think of it as repeating the word charts think of it as changing charts to pie charts pie charts is a unit of language below we're not going to write below because the examiner won't see the charts below so we can skip that one show we can change that to illustrate the share of we can change that to the proportion of when we're talking about percentages we can use proportion and now we get into Swiss we can change that to Switzerland so made in Switzerland or the watch Market in Switzerland watches synonyms of watches are wrist watches timepieces so we could use one of them in our paraphrase Market we're really talking about sales here or Revenue so you could change the market a market is basically the number of sales or the proportion of sales so we could change it to that and brand instead of brand we could use watchmakers we could use suppliers we could use manufacturers we could use companies there's many different synonyms that we could use and 2020 2021 you can't change that so we have to repeat that so when the examiner looks at this what they're thinking is does it mean the same thing yes it does mean the same thing and have they changed enough of the words in order to paraphrase it effectively and they'll also be thinking are the words accurate are they appropriate is the grammar accurate so we've done all of those things we can move on to the most important paragraph which is the overview the first thing to say about overviews is they are the most important thing because it is impossible to get more than a six if you do not write an effective overview so if you're hoping to get a band 7 overall and you either don't include an overview or you don't write an overview properly then you are severely damaging your chances of getting a 7 overall as we showed you with the pyramid structure you're not going to include any data you're not going to include any detail so you're not going to mention percentages or proportions or numbers at all you might include dates but you're not going to include the detail the detail comes later so here are a few things that you can do to identify the most important things because that's what we're going to include in our overview the most important things that the data shows us so the first thing that we can do is ask ourselves one question what is one thing and only one thing you would say about the data if I was to give you a suitcase of a million dollars but I said you must identify the one important thing about this data what would you say so when I look at this data I think the most significant thing is that Rolex is the biggest in both years it is by far the biggest watch company in both years so that has probably given us at least one thing that we can put into our overview we need between two and four things so in some charts it'll be two some three some four don't really think about the number focus on what is the most important things in there the second thing that you can ask yourself and we've already asked ourselves this is why did they make this what is the purpose of this data that will normally show us the important things so remember we said the purpose number one was to compare the different watch brands and if we do that that tells us that Rolex is number one in both so by asking ourselves these two separate questions we've got the same answer that is a very strong indication that that is a key feature that that is something that we need to put in our overview and then the other purpose is to show the differences between the two years and if we look at the differences between the two years there are two significant things number one Rolex increased their share of the market and the other thing all the other companies decreased so we have two very significant things there like normally if you ask yourself those two questions you will get the key features the most important things and you'll be able to put those into your overview if you still are struggling there are a couple of extra questions you might ask yourself often you will see pie charts like this in newspaper articles so if you were looking at the headline of the newspaper article showing this data what would the headline be the headline would probably be something like Rolex continues to dominate The Swiss watch Market that is probably a key feature or a second thing that you might ask yourself is if you were writing a report for your boss imagine you work for a big watch company or you work for a Jeweler's and your boss says there's some data there can you write me a report on that but just make it very brief just write me a really brief email the top two or three things that you noticed about the data I don't have time to think about this what would you write to him or her you would probably say Rolex was dominant in both years and in fact they increased their share while all others decreased and that is exactly what we're going to put in our overview we always start our overview with overall so the first thing I'm going to put the most important thing Rolex was the most significant supplier by far they were the biggest so that's one key feature second one in both years so I have two key features two important things in that first sentence but because we asked ourselves those series of questions we know that there is more that we can write Rolex also increased its dominance so we're not going to say it increased from 39.5 to 46.7 percent remember we're not including any data whilst all other companies lost market share so a good test for your overview is could you cut out this overview and then hand the overview to a stranger and show them the data and would they understand the main points of that data very very quickly so somebody looked at these two pie charts and looked at that overview I think that they would have a very good idea about what the most important things are related to that data so now we can move on further down the pyramid and what we're going to do is get into detail so we're going to write about the percentages about the proportions and really describe exactly what is happening in the pie charts so before you start writing the most important thing to think about is how am I going to organize these details paragraphs because you're going to write two and you should never just look at the data and start writing because the examiner is judging you on how you organize things did you organize it in a logical way that makes it easier for him or her to look at that data and understand it or did you just continue to write just write everything that you see that is illogical it is disorganized it is difficult to read remember the point of writing is to help and communicate with the reader not just to write everything that we see so there are a few questions that you should ask yourself when you're thinking about how should I organize the data in the details paragraphs number one what is the most logical way of writing it so a few different things that we could do with this pie chart we could just write 8 about 2020 in the first details paragraph and then write about 2021 in the second details paragraph that would seem logical another logical thing to do would be to break it down by size so we could write about Rolex Omega and Cartier in our first details paragraph and then we could write about the three smallest in the second details paragraph or another logical way to write about it would be write about the ones that increased in percentage so we would write just about Rolex in the first details paragraph and then we would write about all the others because they all decreased now the second question you're going to ask yourself is what is the easiest way for you to write about this and the easiest way to write about it will be the easiest way for the reader to understand it so we have three different options here years size or increase decrease so when we think about it it's going to be quite difficult to write just about 2020 in just about 2021 because we're going to get confused because we need to make comparisons between the two years so it's going to be very difficult to actually write about it in that way so what we can do with that one is we can put an X through that option we're not going to just do that because it's diff difficult to write about that next could we write about just the ones that increased in one paragraph well we're only going to write about Rolex and there's really not enough data to write just about Rolex because we only have two percentages so it's going to be quite difficult to put that into one main details paragraph so we're not going to do that that leaves us with the option of writing about the three biggest and then writing about the three smallest that will allow us to make comparisons will be easy to write about and will be logical and easy for the reader so we're going to pick that one so you can see just by asking ourselves though two questions what is logical and what is easy that will help us organize the data in our details paragraphs so let's write about Rolex Omega and Cartier so look how I've started my details paragraph the three biggest watch manufacturers in 2020 why have I done this because I'm guiding The Examiner I'm showing the examiner this is what I'm going to write about again make it easy for the examiner so I'm showing them that I'm organizing my data in this way where Rolex Omega on Cartier don't worry about repeating Rolex Omega Cartier all of the brand names because there's literally no other way that you can write Rolex Rolex is Rolex foreign detail with 39.5 15.6 and 14.5 respectively respectively is a crucial word that you need to use and understand for Task 1 academic it allows you to list data and attributed that data to different entities that you're writing about very very important however whilst Rolex increased its share to almost half so if you see a percentage like 46.7 you can write almost half if it was 50.1 you could say just over half if it was 24.4 you could say just under a quarter or something like that but you don't have to do that for every percentage however whilst Rolex so we're using whilst to compare so we're saying Rolex did this but the others did something else so while Rolex increased Omega decreased to this so if we're thinking about the purpose of this data we've definitely showed the difference between those three but remember the other purpose is to compare the two years and when we look at the two years we can see that Omega was number two on Cartier was number three but in 2021 Omega dropped to number three and Cartier replaced them in the number two position so Cartier's percentage dropped but their position their ranking remember we are comparing the different brands changed so that should be mentioned so despite a minor decrease of 0.7 percent so I've taken 14.5 taken 13.8 away that's point seven percent to 13.8 in 2021 Cartier replaced omega as the second highest watch brand in 2021 so we have finished our first details paragraph because we know that we are writing about the three biggest brands that's all we're going to write about them next let's move on to Patek Philippe Longines and AP AP is oromar BK apologies to any French speakers are there if I'm mispronouncing any of these I've started it off with the remaining three competitors again just like the three biggest watch manufacturers in 2020 I'm indicating to The Examiner what the paragraph is about I'm showing them that I've thought about organization and this is what I'm going to write about so they each had 10.3 10.1 10 I'm going to put them all together around the 10th but all fell by around one percent in 2021. so these are approximations they don't have to be exact they only have to be correct so is it correct to say that this was around a tenth each and they all fell by approximately one percent yes that's correct and if you wanted to change that from around to approximately just to vary your language you could do that as well the reason why I'm not changing that is I would have to rewrite the entire thing and I'm not going to do that okay so looking at this detail which ones are we going to write about is there anything else interesting is there anything else significant well which one dropped the most so that was Patek Philippe Patek Philippe went from 10.3 to 8.8 that was the biggest drop so probably we'll include that sort of the three smallest Brands Patek Philippe fell the most dropping from 10.3 percent to 8.8 percent or you could just put in the percentage that it did drop doesn't really matter either are both accurate okay the next interesting thing is Audemars piguet AP because AP went from the smallest so they were in sixth position to the fourth position so they jumped up from six last to number four which is significant remember the purpose is to compare those Brands if you were AP you would be very happy about this you've just leapfrogged two of your biggest competitors well long Gene isn't really a competitor with ap but Patek definitely is so Audemars PK went from the smallest share in 2020 to the fourth largest in 2021 and then it's the details paragraph So let's put in our detail achieving a percentage of 9.1 percent so you might look at this and think well you didn't write about Longines you don't have to write about all of the data what does the question say select and Report the main features it doesn't say write everything that you see just like the brand itself and the watches themselves there's nothing really interesting about the Longines data so we're not going to include it the final thing you would do is you would check for any grammar any vocabulary mistakes hopefully I haven't made anything or any mistakes but if I have my lovely editor will edit them out and that's how to write a pie chart answer if you want a video on bar charts click this and it will show you how to write bar charts