Transcript for:
Lecture on 2 Timothy 3 Verses 1-5 and Selfishness in Relationships

three verse one to five niv and we have new international version and iv second timothy three verse one to five because i like for us to all see very clearly okay it can be projected can you look at your bible second timothy three verse one to five niv it says but mark this but mark this somebody say mark this mark this have you all opened your bible it's not efficient so it's efficiency second three versus one to five or the immediate people you want to preach your answer [Music] and iv do we have an iv yes or no okay we have an iv okay so let's have it so every one of us should be on a screen together or if you have your bible or you can share with your neighbor so let's read okay it's not yet projected so just right that's right okay so but mark this yeah second timothy 1 5 and iv but mark this and there is a column there there will be terrible times in the last days there will be terrible times in the last days people will be lovers of themselves lovers of money boastful proud abusive disobedience to the appearance ungrateful unholy without love unforgiving slanderous without self-control brutal not lovers of the good treacherous rash conceited lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of god having a form of godliness but denying its power have nothing to do with such people have nothing to do with such people we live in times we live in a generation many people are like ah are we in the last days you see sometimes when you see the signs you understand that you understand the season that you are in by living the generation that if care is not taken the things that are out there are becoming the standard rather than the word of god and so it tells us very clearly that these are the days that we're talking about these are the last days we are talking about this where people show up in a very funny way there's where you hear something else that contradicts the word of god this way is something that contradicts the value that you have upheld for a very long time so these are the days we're talking about but scripture is saying to us this morning that you need to be careful of this set of people in these days that we are in you need to be very careful of this set of people that are in these days that we are in didn't say pamper this presence didn't insane negotiates with this person he didn't say try to have a dialogue with this person it says have nothing to do with such people because you see many times if you don't understand what some things mean like what red means what green what yellow means you will call green red you call red green going somewhere you will call green red you will call red green because you see sometimes you're in a relationship as a single person before you even get into relationship you meet somebody and then everybody's telling you something's giving you some conditions but if you do not understand what the light the person is showing you means you might end up saying yes to someone you should run away from it says do nothing with such people i've realized that sometimes a lot of colored blindness have affected people's sights that they now see that their blackness has led to love is blind whereas love is not blind love sees you are the one who is blind to what sees so you now see get into a relationship that you should run away from or a guy or a legacy run away from a dangerous sign because red means stop don't go don't continue you know so um we call it we when you don't understand what the light means you can be driving rather than stopping and so when you're driving and stopping you can be seized your car can be seized anything can happen at that point in time so you don't want to become a victim of circumstances of victim your singlehood because you have refused to understand what the light means so they said have nothing to do with such people so there is a lie that is covered that means that you should not try to caution you shouldn't try to negotiate you shouldn't try to move it it means stop leave drop that relationship don't negotiate so that's what we're going to be talking about this morning so apostle paul listed the categories of this kind of people yeah this kind of people because of time will it take this one kind of person he said people who are lovers of themselves people who are lovers of themselves thank god this is a love meeting so we're going to talk about those who are lovers of themselves these set of people are the people who have entitlement mentality entitlement it is mine is about me it's about what i want to achieve in life unfortunately our generation is categorized with these kind of people i mean they are everywhere it's about themselves they don't care about anybody praise the name of the lord it's about themselves they don't care about anybody that is the category that's that's the categories of this kind of people in our generation so you hear people talk about believing yourself be yourself you can do it as good as those words are they make you live a selfish life where you do not consider other people how to live for other people true be yourself you can achieve it look inward in a bit of looking inward being yourself you don't realize that the primary aim of christianity is that jesus laid down his life it was not about himself what he would achieve for himself a kingdom that he built for himself it was about serving people the bible says that the master came not to be served but to to serve people so whilst it's good to be yourself think big the scripture says be careful of people who usually think about themselves entitlement mentality the world must revolve around them praise the name of the lord hallelujah so people who are lovers of themselves types of people who are lovers of themselves this is one rex flag we're going to talk about that's the topic today right red flags so if we can focus on this you will ask questions and i believe you'll be blessed types of people who are lovers of themselves number one people who are not givers people who are not givers people who are not give us listen love that does not give is no love true love that does not give is not love so you cannot be in a relationship with someone that is not giving anything because you see we are called to live a lifestyle a life of christ christianity is beyond religion it is living the life of christ and if you started the life of christ jesus was a contributor i wasn't just it wasn't a consumer so when you are in a relationship where the person only is only positioned to consume to take to take to take and he's not willing to contribute the person he does not love you that's true because it takes one of these symptoms of love one of the character of love is that love gives for god so loved the world that he gave he didn't consume he contributed true so and then love is not convenient so what is something he did he cried he went to get some money he said let his car pass me by yeah say wasn't it was something that he felt he could handle but because of love he gave because of love he was spat on anybody that you are in a relationship with that is not willing to inconvenience themselves for you doesn't love you true and giving is inconvenient giving you have to be willing to go beyond your comfort to contribute so love that does not give is not love i want to attack you when we're talking about giving not just talking about money so that you don't get it twisted we're talking about giving of your time giving of your resources giving of your time giving of your resources giving of what giving of your time and giving of your resources now you get into a relationship with somebody and then the person tells you give enough money sorry money is part of it giving up money giving off time and giving of resources you get into a relationship with somebody and the person tells you i do not have time i can't call i can't do this i can't visit i don't know what i mean a lot of ladies especially you give excuses for such kind of presence you tell yourself you don't understand he's busy you don't understand what nothing is do you don't get it you know you don't really understand i don't understand what is there to understand somebody who is not create time for you does not value you that's true because who you value you prioritize yeah who you value create time for i'm talking about 24 hours in a day we're talking about just one hour that you don't have enough time to i mean to call the person to send the person a message to communicate there is no relationship without communication that can have effective companionship because you see many times you see people who say um you know um um if i have if i have sex with this person i can become more intimate with the person it's not true it's not success forms in marriage sex forms a percentage of intimacy but where there is no communication there is no time for what you love no time for what you are growing the love will fade off true so it takes complicated communication is the highest form of intimacy communication stares effective companionship so the law when you're engaging with someone if you are an innovation with somebody does not have time does not give time in that relation the person doesn't love you if the person doesn't give time in that relationship the person does not love you so when myself and my wife were in a relationship one of the proof that i loved that was the sacrifice i was making to travel to our state to go and see i'm telling you he became a traveler you know it was one of the sacrifices because i would tell ladies don't cover for anybody that has not been sacrificed for you sure we are giving excuse and the guys tell you that hey you see i'm busy it's my walk it's my walk yeah amen the bible says something say where your hearts will be that's what your treasure will be also yeah sure you know because if your heart is somewhere you always go there that's the truth it's where your heart is that's what your treasure will be also so how do i know that somebody cherishes me is the sacrifice the person pays yeah just to be in my presence so if the person doesn't check on you doesn't pay sacrifice always giving an excuse why does he want to speak to you there's no need to cover it for the person the place is always busy your calls would not pick your calls you know let's give you one excuse or the other then it is time for you to move on i'm telling you because the person is selfish yeah now i usually tell people that there's nobody that is actually stingy you know some of you say yeah my uncle is stingy that guy is stingy no everybody is a giver the people you call stingy they have somebody somewhere that they are giving to it's because they are not their priority i'm telling you true true there's actually nobody that is stingy true the man you call stingy is giving to somebody you are not his priority he's giving somewhere so don't congrat the guy is stinging guys no he's not actually sincere you guys still know there is somebody in love somewhere that you rather sacrifice for he doesn't see the need why is your sacrifice for you because you are not deserving of his love as painful as it is it is the truth so many of us want to force love you know you want to be the one always calling some lady goes up they go out first degraded themselves they want to cook for the guy they want to sleep in the guy's house you know this generation they've taught us some manner of rubbish you know you want your friend tells you when you go to his house wear bomb shorts so that you'll be attractive to him and oh if he doesn't like he doesn't like you when it's time to get married he's going to get married to the person where his heart is that is his treasure praise the name of the lord because love pursues when i was in love with my wife i can go anywhere for her i can give her i bought a blackberry phone those days i couldn't buy for myself she was my priority because i was worried amen form that i could not have fought for myself i bought it for her because she was my treasure yeah yeah you get what i'm talking about if a man loves you he will be sacrificed for you don't defend any matter is his nature he's not a giver he's given somewhere yeah and because of what you accept that's why people don't give that's true yeah it's not what you accept you've accepted that that's the way it is yes you know i mean i wait for him to travel to come and meet me i'm a lady queens are positioned to be pursued true see so i mean i'll wait i'm not i'll give excuses for it i won't give excuses for him not i mean my my awesome let me just say my guy then you know he was broke but he wouldn't say because he was broke couldn't give me gifts i was a fine baby i'm still a fine babe and so right there i had people who are trusting me see listen it's how you're positioning this thing when you position yourself anyhow you give room for any other behavior ayah so it was house i was positioned to be chased so he would get me gift even if he didn't really have he knew that was what happened that's true and he didn't just buy the gift we packaged it well because he don't give any out scenes in any away to a queen because she's not a beggar [Laughter] it's true you know there's a way you will look and you package your stuff even when the guy is coming to talk to you eh everyone is coming to talk to you here if he doesn't know how to speak the grammar he'll be one lame you don't understand value is attractive is how you are showing your value that's true because you see women you are valuable people will eat something that's demonstrated somebody will sit and say ah this one even you we know it because when you are carrying yourself in a particular way you will know when something is red or when it's green that's true because of how you carry yourself attracts what should be given to you what you will how what you want to receive is what you take listen because i knew that you know you know you know sorry i have to debate a bit you know that there are people that see beating as love mm-hmm he's trying to yeah he's trying to it's just the way he knows how to score you know love love love chased isis so your definition of chastisement when they beat you this is no joke like we are counsellors i have seen it firsthand a lady told me that you don't understand mama that's the guy beats me because he you know he loves me i said this love is not beating that's true he said so the giving of beating is a definition of love what you define is what you are said that's true so if you don't define it this way you cannot accept it this way and the person will not give you that way you don't even have the accommodation for it so it's how you are defining your love that is making people treat you in the manner they are treating you yeah let's check ephesians chapter two verse three to four every time this scripture is deep yeah please let's take time to to deal on this topic please one another okay he said do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain concept but in humility consider others better than that's the characteristics you should look out for the man considers me better i'm telling you you know he said each of you should look not only to your own ancient sky but also to the what interest of others if he's not interested in you he's not the one for you i'm telling you do we have tpt translation you have that let me read it here he said be free from prideful opinion but they will only arm your cherished unity don't allow self-promotion to hide in your heart but be authentic humility put others first and view others as more important than yourself he said abandon every display of selfishness possess a greater conscience possess a greater concern for what matters to others instead of your own interest and consider the example that jesus the anointed one has said before us let his mind becomes your motivation what's the mind of jesus he put others first before him he shall even when the disciples were telling that can we get a healthy throne let's establish a kingdom because he had the capacity to establish a kingdom but yet he was interested in the people around him that if i die a generation do your world to be saved it was not about his selfish ambition it was about the people that is what you check for true love does this person have the capacity to sacrifice if he's not sacrificing he's not it i'm telling you he's always interested in your growth like he's always interested in you you know my husband when we're in a relationship then he would always i mean i had i had i was going out with someone before you know i met my husband first person asked me was like ah how can we force to get married though so that i'll just have a woman that's washing my clothes there's nothing wrong with it you know but then when i was in retrospect my husband he kept on saying to me that ah you see who are you i can't i can't wait to groom that person that god has made that god has what i can't wait to grow what god has put in you he will always ask me he will be like and what do you want to become in life what do you want to do what do you he was he would share materials with me if i'm going for a program he's asking questions i was i mean i was having a particular international ministry back then in my city when i'm going for a program like that and you know i'm going to speak or whatever i'm going to host or whatever he would he would he would he would transfer he would send to me you know some material some some resources that i need to grow myself in that area so if somebody is not contributing the only thing unless let me tell you if somebody just giving money giving you a gift it's nice oh but is the person beyond the gift interested in your growth because growth is attractive so if you are not growing it gets to a point where it begins to compare other people with you that's true so is the person interested in your growth my husband will always ask me even before we got married to be like i don't want you to just be honestly in my kitchen i don't want to just marry just an ordinary person i want you to be out there what is the person saying what is the woman saying do you have a dream and the lady is killing it and there you have you are saying oh you don't decide because she doesn't understand it that's why no way that's not the point because you see your assignment is not something that is negotiable that's true your assignment is not something that you're trying to have a conversation with when my husband knew that i was i mean i met my husband into you know he was already serving a church and all that and then became a person he wasn't trying to calm down for me as much as i didn't want to accept it at that point in time but he wasn't trying to calm down for me because his assignment is not something that you you it's not something that you're trying to you know negotiate is that you are presenting something for the other person to accept your opinions for the other person to grow it because if you don't begin to see signs of interest from someone you will get married to the president basically we frustrate your assignment that's true so is the person interested what is basically when you bring up a discussion regarding your dream are you is the person shown in it and then you you're just smiling because they gave you ice cream they gave you shawarma your destiny has been shallow my lies are you you understand so how is the person feeding you ladies please i beg you don't be carried away with the gift of human hair be carried away with the gift of sense that the person is contributing because you can meet a guy who can give you the hair you want you can meet a guy who can give you all of that is nice though but is it the wise thing you need in that season that's true so beyond the hair beyond the money beyond your thing that the paparazzi that you love beyond it what is basic contributing that's why i tell you have a speck of who you are so that you know who can align with you because when you have a speck of who you are you understand your alignment and you understand who is interested in it you may not know everything but just have a speck just that little have an idea so while you are working on it the person is pushing you the person is saying you can do it you can move that was the person of my husband if it's by what he had i would not have married him because i had other guys that had the money he had just a laptop but he had something beyond the laptop that could offer me yeah and said i said these guys worth having as a bridegroom guys am i talking to you this morning it's not in the beers it's in the brain wake up [Music] beard's beard's gunk without brain number two they value your sexual pleasure to your purity type of people who are lovers of themselves number two they value their sexual pleasure to your purity scripture made it clear i don't know what is happening in our generation the marriage bed should not be defiled the bible says flee every individual safely fornication every appearance that's what he said but we are in a generation where we have water down the scripture it is as bad as i saw one actress online i don't know whether i could watch the video of an actress he born again said she bonnie pastor actress and came online and started making she a statement was she was speaking sense but she did not know what she was speaking says let me tell you she was saying how can you be in a relationship understand you should have sex you should have sex it is the right thing to do you must have sex you must test your compatibility you must test this what she was talking i said the people who propagated this philosophy are from another world i say yes you are right because we are not from this world are not from this world we cannot think the way the normal humans think that it is true does he make it the truth ah so when she said he said i do not know who co called this stuff who said that you should not have sex before my is the word of god that said so and you see that word it's not ordinary it's not for every human we are not everybody we are a chosen generation that's what scripture said a royal priesthood a holy nation a peculiar people who is god's fault to shoot for the glory of him who has brought us out of darkness into his marvelous light we cannot keep living the way of darkness in light it's not possible the word these people was concocted these people we are the people that chose purity [Music] we cause it and say this is how we are we glory in it we are not ashamed of it you don't need to follow me you don't need to like me that is what we stand for are you with me this morning so you want to get mine to somebody the person is selfish he comes and says we must have sex before get married be run from that person roman is a fish person he's putting himself first what did jesus said concerning love he asked he was the greatest commandment he said his love he said love your neighbor as you love yourself why would i go and waste a guest life if that girl were to be my sister and a boy do that thing to that girl will i be happy i will not be happy why would i go and repeal if that guy were to be my sister or if you try to be me will i be happy that somebody raped me but yet it is a custom and you know it even happens to the church and many of you you even if he's your pastor is he says i stand with my man of god in iniquity and yeah the bible says the bishop should be blameless the criticism of a bishop is what he should be blameless but in this generation the bishop has blamed how we eat our chest and say i i stand with iniquity it's not the bishop you are standing with you are standing with iniquity this is the generation one of my girls was telling me one of my girls was telling me the church i left and when i met you my pastor has bought laptops for young boys he rented us that they should be pressing she called one whether hk or something a man of god promoting 409 and it is not it's normal now it's a normal thing it's normal young boys 1890 that cannot defend how they bought jeep even they are more than everybody everybody is celebrating inequity pastors laying us on the air you will go far what a generation why because we are selfish we would rather go and take somebody's own to satisfy ourselves rather than walk to get our own it's selfish generation impurity so they send people the scriptures the scripture said he said they value the scripture our point is they value their sexual pleasure to your purity when i met my wife my wife told me straight up he said you see this relationship no sex i said baby before you learned no sex too if we have sex we break up because me i can't do sex she said she she can't do sex i said me i know where i'm coming from i don't want to do sex is that the conversation we have nowadays it's not look at what church are stunning the purity drive is not selfish he wants to protect your value i'm telling you he wants to stand by you he's not convincing you to fall into iniquity those are the people that you should pursue in this generation because if you look at the point of your sexual pleasure your purity drive so you must be driving something for someone to know where you're driving so what are you driving are you driving sexual purity or sexual pleasure like my husband mentioned in our case i told him from day one i seen from day one no sex i wasn't waiting on him to tell me his boundaries i already had my boundaries you don't wait on your relationship to know your boundaries you know your boundaries before you meet the person so i had my boundaries i knew what i would not do there was no negotiation about it so when we started the relationship i told him straight up no sex he was not also waiting for me he told me no sex because a man who is going somewhere understands what he should barricade yeah that's not what he should fence understand what you should protect so you need to know what you are driving so if you are not convinced about what you are driving anybody can convince you it takes one who is properly convinced not to be confused so it is what are you convinced about somebody reached out to me two days ago a lady she sent me a message and said we came to minnesota so please and probably she was blessed and whatever and then she waits for that to say that she is a virgin and that all her friends are teasing her that she doesn't know the way then she got into a relationship and the guy is telling her that they must have sex and she told him that this is me i cannot he said please get rid of it you are you have been a baby you have been a child and then she reached out to me because me there are some questions you asked me it tells me how strong your conviction is if you're neither here nor yet because you cannot you you see that you are hot or you are cold you can't be in between so unless you reach that when i told that straight up if you are scared of what you know tells me you don't even know it so in other words what are you driving i told i said it's not about are you are you scared of losing your veggies or you're scared of losing godly value there are two different things now listen let me explain what i meant when you're scared of losing your veggies because of what people will say not about what god will say you are not a kingdom waiter i also said are you scared of losing your virginity because your mother will say ah i don't have a female child now that is a virgin because if you check people's hearts a lot of the times that's why you are keeping what you are keeping yes you are not keeping what you are keeping because you understand kingdom value you need to understand the difference i am not keeping what i kept because what what will my mother say because i can decide to lose my vagina my mother does not see my hymen my mother does not know why i'm a virgin he's only me that knows i can lie to her but what about god until we become god's conscious we are not willing to wait on him that's true so i told him i said this is not a case of whether you are scared of losing your veggies it's about you being scared of what god has to say when you get to that point you are really serving god that's true i told that so until you understand what you're driving you are convinced by yourself for yourself beyond what your pastor has said what you have personalized as a revelation you know it's wanting for you to hear a revelation from the puppets the bed on defiled it for you to succeed put your name there and say neca a maker i cannot defile god's standard so until a revelation becomes personal so it will not be useful to you that's true praise god hallelujah number are we good is it because we not started talking about solo final calm down are we okay okay i hope we didn't touch someone you i just let me just calm down it is where all of us have this struggle this god that is helping all of us that's the generation we are only temptation everywhere so we didn't come as perfect people yeah to make you feel like ah you are the bad person no the temptation is everywhere is real but it is god that will help all of us in jesus name amen number three they are grateful type of people who are lovers of themselves people who are ungrateful these people they always want you to they won't always want to make you a victim you're always wrong where they are no matter what you do they do not appreciate your efforts even the little things you do the little gift you give the sacrifice you pay they don't they always compare you with other people they always talk down on what you do they are ungrateful people and these people are grateful people are people who forget so easily they forget where they are coming from i've seen a lady who was a young lady who was investing in this guy picked this guy from nowhere they planned that they were gonna get married pick this guy from nowhere started investing this guy helped the guy to set up his business and everything and we only planning getting married and all of a sudden this guy is now standing and has opportunity to now live life for himself you know ask the lady and say please just send me 300 i want to get to dubai i'll be back and the lady i again gave him 300 000 and he traveled to dubai and called up the relationship but that was the end he forgot he forgot where he was coming from that was the problem of judah's carrot he forgot where was coming from that was why he saw jesus christ very short memory even after jesus christ has healed 10 lepers the bible says how many came back to him just one where were the rest they forgot to say thank you there are people who are very ungrateful you must be able to check it now in relationship that this person does he appreciate the little things i do or does this person commonise it or give you have to beg the person to say ah i bought you this thing you never i said oh i forgot oh thank you ah watch that person watch that person very little thing then the day you practice that what did you buy for me said that you are telling me to tell you thank you watch that person true that's that's really the truth because um you see somebody it's true just like what my husband said you sent eight times you said i beg you with your media do you know the shame my brother run i'm telling you the person can't even call you with what you have one sense and then when you say did you receive it you'd be like ah sorry i forgot i'm exhausted thank you you're not serious you understand so you need to check it what are you i mean does the person appreciate the very little things you know if you don't if you're not grateful for it you can't have more so is the person appreciating that very little thing you are doing you know the person can't even be comparing someone anybody who compares you may not be the gift you are giving but every little investor says that don't you see what your mates are doing don't you see that thing that the person is you know you see how your mates are dressing you don't know when you would go and borrow and borrow and and you become a borrower that's true because at the end of the day when you meet someone who is very ungrateful you always want to do things to please the person in a way that is negatively inconvenient for you so if once you cite someone or you observe someone who can be very ungrateful that person is not worth having around you that's true that's the truth but this person will kill you if i'd be dying in silence you won't even know that you're dying sure the prayer was um um in relation to my wife i told you i bought her a phone she questioned me where did you get off of me yes why is the way to get money how did you get the money yeah when i explained to us yeah no this is too big take take i don't want 50 000 at that time to buy phone say take take take this thing is too big i don't want i don't want i know what i said please babe take it it's a sacrifice is love enjoy yourself amen you must check the attitude that which the person is receiving the gift i'm telling you is he receiving it from a great word or he's saying is this what your mate is doing yes you must watch some of you have put yourself in i jump trying to please a girl that don't send you you abide you try you go and borrow money again buy something bigger the guy will never take is you know they get hello with your own credit go back for thank you hello did you see what i bought when i said hey his true self i even saw it that you'll not keep right there for a while waiting for the thank you to come you can never say oh sorry seth thank you i'm busy i'm busy i'll call you back you're not afraid that the challenge with my girlfriend is that thanks case in her mouth but she thanks me in her heart no cause because because a man does not move love is an attitude love is action it must be seen it must be sin it must be faith praise the name of the lord that sign yeah the person doesn't know how to say thank you yeah this is ungrateful true and ungrateful people demand higher than what you can afford that's true i'm telling you you see somebody you know you're part of keyboard it's not your time for your wedding the person's already telling you hey you know what this is our wedding i'm getting my hair from paris we're closing down beneath never go abuja yes i'm getting my my clothes coming from and even you wear your salary fool you if they sell your shoes you can't vote for it you understand and then you are just looking this is like man my shoe is the talk of the town are you in your shoe you know that is that night a ring road you saw one you get because ungrateful people would will demand more than you can afford they don't consider that they are not they are not considerate they are only just to always call you from you themselves and then you are just smiling my my my baby is your fashion our personal sense is high my father says that you cannot afford it for herself but she's waiting for you and that is why some of you young men you need to be checking your bp as funny as it is some of you be go and check your bp be checking your people relationship has given you people high blood pressure it's true pleasure to please a lady just once in a while just just walk to a pharmacy and say please even this my bp check it somebody said we'll do it today just if you're in a relationship that is like this one check your bp so it's not one day you'll be walking walking you collapse you see what's happening he's a lovely the guest putting me on that pressure because there is pressure and don't put yourself under this kind of pressure don't let a woman kill you or a man kill you you are trying to please somebody that is not grateful get your questions ready we're going to take questions number four they can't see you grow above them type of people who are lovers of themselves they can't see you grow above them they can't stand your sources they cannot while you are making progress they are condemning it they cannot they just it's not possible you can't you you they can't see you i mean when you come back and you are like wow you know i got promoted ah or my salary got increased why did this thing they cannot stand your sources they can't and such a people we beat your growth in marriage you hinder your growth in marriage because you can't go far with those kind of persons and they are always jealous they are insecure insecure when they see you with an opposite sex who is that person what does the person tell you where's the phone because they want you to live their life they want you to live your life only for them not for yourself they want you so you must check it those people are selfish they secretly go check your phone hey who is this person they start concocting stories my mom was telling me about one of my aunties who currently is in bondage she saw these signs before she got married this sign of selfishness the man is selfish always monitoring her they now got married in marriage when the man comes back from i say go naked let me check your private parts to see who slept with you i'm telling you that's how insecure this is his own is bad he said go naked again let me check your private part let me see if a man steps with you he does it regularly very insecure he requires as far as telling friends to call the wife's number a male friend to call the wife's number to see how the wife will respond and send his friend to go and toast my wife let me see my wife we fought if my wife is like that what kind of a human being are you what kind of a human being are you i'm telling you there are terrible humans who are self if you check those people who are monitoring you evil they achieve cheats they are the ones that are the cheats true it's true because they're in that part of cheating and they don't want you because they know what they are doing to people's wives they know what they are doing to young girls outside so guilt is telling them that even my wife may be doing it because of their sin they end up messing up their marriage so you must check out these signs before you get married is the person secured has he told me to leave choir because there's a boy that's always dancing around me maybe the keyboard is going to take care of you you say hi the keyboardist is not interested because he likes you we say come just come and sing let me give you some during me keys are you just saying and you're doing touring and the guy is the media department up is not happening here because he's like by prophecy i'm saying certainties can i go deeper [Applause] [Music] and you guys in media department he wants to use i to kill you are you doing that yeah and after the meeting cause you don't go there again don't go there again what's the name of that why are you with that guy you are in chains you don't even have friends anymore because all your friends have become bad the day you met this person mark that person the person is selfish that's what apostle paul said he said mark them run away from people like that who are these selfish true and people who can stand your sources compete with you that's true and spouses don't compete they complement each other yes so when someone can stand your success your marriage becomes a competitive ground that's true not a ground for companionship and when there's competition among spouses in companionship cannot be beautiful this cannot be intimacy intimacy cannot be felt or cannot be cannot be grown or built amongst people who competes it's not possible so it's very important that you check these things as a person can you person stand your sources can you is the person always happy when you have your success story to share yeah so because when you get my discount person when you are doing one course person is doing it not because the person had the dream to do to do it but because you are doing it that she wants to do today it's like what's in the case of a woman who became a medical doctor she became a doctor and the husband said you cannot be a doctor why i have bsc i'm telling you i was attained to become a doctor so that my wife cannot rise above me yeah i don't understand what is rise what is right you do not know that your wife's success is your height you have reason when your wife is a success true the measurement of your height is your wife's success it's not your competing with your wife it becomes low self-esteem when you are now in competition with your wife then i put yourself under high blood pressure unnecessary blood pressure because you do not have to see people fly how i said it when i asked my wife what is your dream she said god has told her that she's going to be a voice she's going to be a voice she's going to be a voice god is going to have a women ministry and everything i said count it on me to make that dream come to pass i did not tell her that you see i am a pastor we have one voice in this house you know you'll be a sister pastor you will sit down there and watch me i did not do that i told i said the reason why god called me a bridegroom is for me to groom my bride he's not a title she's the bride i am the bride groom if you're in a relationship with a guy who for one year you are still at the same level he has not been able to groom anything out of you the only thing he has been able to groom out of you is to carry you to bed and have sex with you that guy is not a bright girl i'm telling you and if somebody is actually grooming someone the person will be like the person be much more that's true yes so i told my wife one day i said sweet they are going to minister in church said i see that grace upon your life you mean and she went on the altar and she ministered for the first time she jack ball you know the culture but she was preaching preschool school even me i didn't understand what she was preaching a god called this woman where is it he said she get caught have you seen that guy have you preached for the first time before even you will be confused he was preaching inaudible she said but everybody in church were praising me they said i didn't do i said i've using the past or preacher of this and the member will say pastor preacher of me they will praise you now you must be able to listen to me i'm the one talking forget let me praise you to say ah you did well and your mind you know he did not do it i will tell the truth rubbish but i did not go condemning her i said you cannot do it it's not your call it's not your vision you lied to me i knew at that point that i have an assignment to be done and that assignment is to groomer to make her fly i did not look at her and said hey just stay there don't worry i said finally there's nothing about my wife let her be there let her be in the kitchen yeah you are not called you another no my assignment is to gruma and i began to give out more opportunities if they called us to go and minister and lay god so anywhere i would go and tell the person i said pastor i'm not preaching today please can my wife preach what's up i said no i said you need to hear my wife yeah that's you'll be admiring people how many people have you raised around you yeah generally even your wife you can't raise your wife you can't raise your voice around you that is why you are bp when you travel you travel church will close down because you are the general overseer you can't raise people your wife many pastors their wives are known entities you can't add value you can nobody marries already made the one that you see that has already made went through process of grooming so before you start hiring my wife i said hi god give me this kind of orga i groomed her qualcomm your own to what you want her to be quank room i listen to me maybe i think i've messed up some people's mentality all of you that are i tap into a pastor his wife i tap it no he's not tap i will carry my wife i used to go to cpm come ground to pray i will carry a teller to follow me to cpm campground we'll go there spend nights there praying i started teaching my culture or prayer of the world of everything and i believe that she'll do it the first time she's not getting it nothing sweet you can't do it when she goes for a meeting six weeks you can lay us on the sick and recover i was she was saying the way you believe him i've not seen i said i believe so much in you you don't know when she saw a man who believed so much here the spirit of might came out of her boss that sure there is no woman that is not mighty because you have not you have not come to that position of grooming that one god has given to you you have not stopped tapping into people's wife or tapping into people's god's band my wife did walk in my head too so some of you does that when i entered yourself this is the kind of man you don't see you know she dress cold see shoes see you know not this man i just got mad six three tall dark and some you know this man it's good he has anointing everything packaged plus i know interrupted is this no that was not i wish i could show you the first picture of my first suit there was one shoe i wore for five years i used that shoe to two minutes even see have you oh god my wife married i'm telling you have you seen that you want to be on sunday morning if we will be pitying the shoe like myself and this you used to have conversation i said you have suffered i can't reward you is god that will reward you that you should be saying my god you don't really waste your family now have you pit issue that was where this woman picked me from i said i will be your bride so that i can give you pride hey hey and she began to write me my color balancing and my dress code fashion sense i don't know stuff despite the fact that i was broke she loved me she just she was not selfish looking for she loved me starting at the value i need to say something in addition to that he was broke but i had a vision account so it wasn't just about because sometimes you can be carried away with a man's bank account but the man doesn't have a vision account so this one may not have had every much so much in his bank account but he had a vision account and when a man has a vision he can lead so i saw someone because people were visionaries identify vision so he could tell and he was ready because he had he was a visioner he could spot me even when i presented what i was going to be he identified it to me and was ready to groom me in the fear and the direction of god but if he was not a visionary so i didn't just marry him because maybe low back bank account and all that this man has always been a visionary so ask yourself there's always been a visionary ask yourself what does he have in his vision account not just bank accounts no i feel like kissing you know [Music] amen i know some youth here they are saying these two shall pass this ego shall pass where god will help you in jesus name god god steal this disney while you hold your pillow to sleep he sees your tears he says look how evangelist is look i see how he goes it's scratching his head he's honest to his head he's scratching it it will come in jesus name very soon god will substitute your pillow for a while the husband in the name of jesus no more shall you label in this rainy season alone you will have someone by your side i've been there i've been there i know what it means to be a single man and there is cold it's not a nice experience yeah i feel for you people when you pass this stage in jesus name that's the best i can see so we said they can't see or see you grow above them they can't stand your success they're number four number five the last we said type of people who are lovers of themselves number five they they are not kingdom servants people who are lovers of themselves they are not kingdom servants mark them mark them we said in matthew chapter 20 verse 28 which we read we said for even the son of man did not come expecting to be served but what to serve and give his life in exchange for the salvation of many proverbs 18 verse 1 whoever pulls away from others to focus solely on his own desire disregards any sense of what sound judgment galatians chapter 5 verse 13 galatians chapter 5 verse 13 you my brother were called to be free but do not use your freedom to indulge in sinful nature rather save one another so loving somebody not living in sin with somebody means you are saving the person so when myself and my wife entered into an agreement of sexual purity it was service i was given to her and it was savage was given to me a man who is forcing you to go into sex with him does not understand the place of service because a servant does not look out for his own a lookout for the life of the other galatians chapter six verse two galatians chapter six verse 2 bear one another's body and soul fulfill the law of what christ and so fulfill the law of christ kingdom servants a man who cannot genuinely serve jesus will not be able to serve you i'm telling you i know somebody will ask me i said but pastor there are marriages who are they are not christians and they are successful two things let me answer that question number one you do not know what's happening inside your house so you do not know we've been in this thing to know that a lot of people don't you see some people just wake up in the morning just enter instagram and say we are divorced now you are wondering is it not this production we are called they are not divorced now because things have been happening but you your limitation is uh social media you judge by the pictures and then people can stay together in one house doesn't mean they are living together together they can just come all acting up like all is well but all is not well praise the name of the lord so you don't judge you judge based on what scripture praise the name of the lord so are they kingdom servants does the person has the capacity to serve christ if you are not serving jesus i'm not saying having jesus as the lord and personality of your life it is beyond that it is you going ahead to make sure your time your resources is for him does the plessy place value on kingdom service above any other thing that was one thing that i admired my wife before when i met her i think that's he wanted she admire i i did not know she was a servant a liberal in the house of god as beautiful as this woman was he shot many years after we got my east or east thank you many years after we got married somebody asked me i said were you the one that converted your wife to be a christian i said convert i met a burning in christ so even a single old as beautiful as she is she was usually a beautiful jesus marina she was using a beauty to serve jesus where other people are using their beauty to go and mess up the society because all this beauty you have what is brazilian what is your eyelashes go on the day of judgment god we ask you what did you use you to do this your lips what did you used to do was it to be kissing or to be telling people about jesus your lips will give account your eyes will give account your nose will give account your shape with your eyes will give account because god be asked me this i told you to do i will tell you as a father these eyes are usually to preach the gospel he will ask you i met this woman saving god that's why i loved her i was i was just married for my father she doesn't care about anybody not one day she went to our pastor's house i realized our pastor does he have generator she she just came back from youth service she needs more money right than the pastor she needs more money than anybody she went to us and took our only generator and came and showed it a seat to pastor i said pastor please be managing this generator and she decided she chose to stay in darkness to see that the pastor's house has light our pastor i was like that was our hunger for god should i talk about i said so when you see certainties now before you tap just ask what will you do for god consistency in tight pain it's not it's not the one that you go on social media somebody will tell you that and don't pay tight thank god though that's one of the pathetic games they painted okay and give it no no it's not that somebody that have deep relationship even if god comes today and said i have said it don't give me tight again there are still some of us that will say god for the kingdom's sake will give he wasn't doing all that because she was going to be a personal apostle it was a nature i saw it enough consistent in giving a tight consistent in giving to the kingdom there were a lot of things were dead i didn't know i was going to get my tour we will get our little money we're going to get boss and go to nyc camp to go and evangelize after we finish evangelizing we will not arrange a boss to bring coppers to church we're going to find accommodation for them we're going to feed them we're busy so in our life to god's kingdom he doesn't jump and this characteristics can only happen when you are not selfish it is selfish why did you not come for the meeting and i wanted to come and i got tired so my waist now this thing why did he not give to some of you you will come they'll say okay um pastor what is it we need to do a project we need to get things done and everything and also please is anybody that can give us your hundred thousand you will get all because of gay because a guest seated by yourself you want to prove to you you see you see how selfish people can be it's not about the kingdom it's about the gay they want to prove because i met a guy like that he always come a guy like that he was come on you put him in spoken pastor will be happy say ah we don't get sick the guy will come a person does it counts them they'll count them a week after his pastor down and start for showing they they force you they didn't beg you you only said church is in need can you come out your selfish desire is thinking of yourself how you tell again that you are the one contributing to the house of god you see how miserable a man can be things that will become vanity you must check the heart of the person is the person truly a kingdom servant as the person sold his life to kingdom walk that was what attracted my wife to me your ass was so bad i told my mother i said when we get married the house are going to rest are going to live inside church i know you like god you are consumed by god but this will not work because we were lost remember one time that they stole my property my equipment just started the windows they stole our cameras what about three million era so the pastor came and one pastor called my wife and said are you sure this is a tighter that's why affliction came and took his property away he's not a tighter my mom laughed my mom said are we talking about 10th century twist this guy has sold his life to god he does unrepresent he does not have a life you see all those things they stole everything he has given to god they didn't steal from who is they stole from god because there's nothing he has what do you have that you are keeping that's so cherished to you some of you have laptop your church is suffering no media department your child that is your child can't get out right i don't want anybody to spoil my love what are you od no to a talking of kingdom true servants that god will be looking for men to serve him in god yet you're skinny you are using it outside using little gossip using it to talk about mind you and them asana broadcasting you can stay six hours and talk about mind you jesse but you cannot spend 30 minutes to talk about the word of god true that's painted to me to talk about the word of god see and let me tell you something how the person is all the person is demonstrating in kingdom concern that the person can also inconvenience his yourself for you for you true that's the truth because you see when a man can be led or can submit to god easily such a man understands what leading is like so when you see a man that's why you see people when when they when they don't understand what submitting is because they don't understand what services takes servants to submit true so when a man can submit so he's understanding that when he's coming into marriage or a woman he or she is coming to marry to save because he understands what saving god is but he's not complaining because you understand that commitment is not born out of comfort is born out of inconvenience so if you want to be committed to someone you have to be able to save spouses that are driving the sources of marijuana that are servants the greatest amongst you will be a servant who is the greatest in the kingdom the greatest amongst you is a servant so in other words for my marriage to be great i must be able to send ya so i am not waiting on a spouse or choosing someone before i can serve i can begin to react service by what i do in my garden in my community my church so the question is what are you doing and what are you genuinely doing we're not talking about what you are doing to gain a position we're talking about what you are doing whether there is a position or not if i perish i perish but i am doing something for a reward from god not for anybody not because i need a position but because i want to save because it's my duty to save i'm responsible to save i have been created to save listen just like my husband has said what attracted me to this man is that he was willing to spend his life i saw it from the little money i had from everything when i was talking about money what about your time yes because you can say ah i don't have the money what about your time what about your time what are you sacrificing be scared to marry a man or woman who doesn't have a sacrificial heart yeah it's only for kingdom because you see to come to a point where your destiny demands a lot from you but he will not be willing to give it all to get a point where god will tell you to do a lot of things but you will not be able to do it because you have not started from somewhere can i share this please i don't want to forget this it does have shared or blessed memory i've been shopping as i share the story on sacrifice maybe some of you have heard the story he said there was a woman every christmas she comes with a cow yeah yeah put it in a pickup and she brings it to him every christmas she'll pray for them and i'll go should come next christmas that's right became a routine and one day this woman came again with the truck and he came out to receive a cow but when he went to the pickup he saw the woman's holy child lying there dead he said every year i bring a sacrifice but this time i brought my dear child it also said something in me moved what moved was the account spiritual accounts that this woman has been depositing that it is time for her to make a withdrawal apostle paul talked about it there is a spiritual account in philippians 4 read philippians 4 there is a spiritual account what are you deputies name what is the god see the deposit i'm making for the kingdom is for my family so that when i want to withdraw concerning my wife i should have something to say that when the devil shot fought i would tell god i said me a kingdom servant how dare you satan touch the anointed of god many of you will not be able to draw from the account because there is no deposit you are making your time no deposit your resources will deposit nothing everything you do from god is i receive i receive i receive your prayers should change you'll be i gave i gave i gave he also said he remembered all the deposit this woman has been making he became angry and he went to the truck and he touched the boy rise up no no permitted to die do you know the sacrifices that have been placed on your head what sacrifice have you placed that you can make a demand of spiritual things what sacrifice have you played in your small church what sacrifice have you as a young man a young man what sacrifice have you placed on the other that you can make in demand there are some people they can never be stranded when it comes to life partner this thing that they call prayer points you go for submitters ah they want to organize a meeting of i'm going to marry now now it's not about marrying now now is that you know that i will get married because i have a spiritual account that is speaking for me that yeah i decide i'll get married god will give me the right person because i have sown the right seeds these these are spiritual things they are spiritual things we only point you to jesus christ our relationship meeting you know what a resume in three days time a a spiritual husband will come to you know if you find jesus you will find a future if you know jesus you will get his spouse you get the right spouse if you know his ways you will find a man and a woman that hungers and tests for god that will love you the way jesus loves you what are you a kingdom servant let's begin to pray in the holy ghost yes he seeks the kingdom of god and his righteousness yes so the question is what are you seeking every day yes it is sick it's not thought so it's not in your past it's a present continuous keep seeking what are you seeking keep saying have you sought for kingdom service yesterday and you're no longer seeking and when you're saving yesterday you have stopped saving what are you doing every day it is sicky fest the kingdom of god so every day of your life you are serving the kingdom every day of your life you are kingdom servants every day you are not trying to beat in your singlehood and when you get man or get a woman you stop it is that whether you are with a man or not lord whether you give me or not i am saving it is seek your face the kingdom of god and his righteousness and every other thing shall be added so in other words the covenant of god has conditions so when i seek every other thing what are you seeking daily every other thing the husband you are looking for is in the kingdom the wife you are looking for is the kingdom but can you seek me first every other hand every is a conjunctive word so in other words when you seek i add when you seek i add i understand what you are looking for but can you seek can you be a daily servant the god is our father he knows everything that we need what you see is asking of us can you save me daily yes yes it is a present attitude is a present lifestyle he's not talking about what you have done in the past is that every day of your life whether you are waiting for a man or not whether you are in and out of a man whether your pastor costs you or not whether they drive you out of church or not whether you are suspended or not broke or not broke he said can you seek me daily can you seek me every day of your life are you seeking righteousness every day of your life are you seeking my kingdom and every other thing your peace is not to really pray about every other thing you shall pray lord every day of my life can i seek you can you enable me to seek me can you a demon seek you can you enable me to seek you [Music] but when we got married didn't stop because you see every day of your life there is a new one yes everything your life is annoying yes you cannot just stop david one time was at the lion's den then at one time was at the back taking care of sheep damn it one time to face goliath every are you sick [Music] foreign [Music] foreign [Music] oh [Music] club oh foreign