Notes from Howard Stevenson's Lecture on Building Life

Introduction

• Howard Stevenson shares his experiences with failure and success.
• Discusses his journey from fundraising to contemplating success and its implications for children.

Defining Success

• Key Question: What does success mean?
• Historical perspectives include Aristotle and Herodotus, emphasizing the complexity of defining success.
• Success is often linked to individual experience and varies greatly among people.
• Considerations on how success can be fleeting; mentioned feelings of sadness tied to personal achievements.

The Complexity of Success

• Success is influenced by emotional factors, rational comparisons, and societal expectations.
• The journey of success is unpredictable and deeply personal.
• Importance of measuring success not just by societal standards (e.g., being on Forbes list).

Types of Success

• Three Fears:
  1. Fear of not being successful.
  2. Fear that success will not be fulfilling.
  3. Fear of compromising personal values for success.
• Quote: "Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get."
• Importance of marrying a happy person; happiness cannot be changed in others.

Misconceptions about Success

• Common myths include following one’s passion leads to success.
• Perfectionism and the pressure to excel in all areas leads to dissatisfaction.
• Real-life examples of successful individuals (e.g., investment bankers, cleaning business owners) show a variety of pathways to success.

Reflection on Personal Experiences

• Howard shares personal stories of career changes and the impact of life choices on family and personal happiness.
• Notable experiences include leaving a tenured position due to concerns about happiness and fulfillment.
• Importance of understanding the emotional drivers behind success, including the feelings of jealousy and competition.

Dimensions of Success

• Four dimensions discussed:
  1. Achievement: Accomplishing goals.
  2. Significance: Positive impact on others.
  3. Happiness: Personal contentment.
  4. Legacy: Long-lasting impact after death.
• These dimensions can be uncorrelated; achieving one does not guarantee fulfillment in others.

The Role of Enough

• The importance of defining what is "enough" in life to prevent the constant pursuit of more.
• A sense of enough allows for greater satisfaction and enables transitions between life phases.
• Howard emphasizes the importance of values in determining what counts as "enough" in achievement, significance, happiness, and legacy.

Advice for Juggling Life's Priorities

• Life is compared to juggling, needing balance among various responsibilities and ambitions.
• Emphasis on recognizing falling "balls" in life and prioritizing what is truly important.
• Quote: "The falling ball is the most important one."

Conclusion and Reflections

• Life is a dynamic activity; one must continually reassess priorities and values.
• Howard shares the importance of honest self-reflection regarding life choices, values, and the satisfaction derived from helping others.
• Encouragement to live life forward, focusing on the present and future rather than dwelling on the past.
• Final test for the audience: Reflect on values, priorities, and the impact on others in their lives.