(lively music) - In the span of a week, (audience members laughing) Democrats have gone from the despair of a certain Trump presidency to the joy of a statistical tie. (audience members laughing) (audience members cheering) Which, which, right now, that feels like, right now, that feels like victory. (audience members laughing) - Already, the prospect of her candidacy has injected enthusiasm and energy. - [Reporter] She's received a tsunami of grassroots support and cash. - [Reporter] She's raised a staggering $200 million since President Biden dropped out. - [Reporter] It's a Zoom World record, more than 100,000 white women (audience members laughing) mobilized for Vice President Kamala Harris, (audience members laughing) - 100,000 white women, that is a giant group of white women. (audience members laughing) I believe the scientific term is actually a goop of women. (audience members laughing) That is called a goop of women. $200 million they've raised, a united, enthusiastic Democratic party, a huge reversal in one week, and they said it couldn't be done. - Joe Biden is going to be the nominee. - This is fantasy stuff, this is good for TV, but Biden's not going anywhere. - This is not an Aaron Sorkin, you know, West Wing episode here, this is real life. (audience members laughing) - Joe Biden is our nominee, and he will be our nominee. - We literally have three choices, as Democrats, either you vote for Donald Trump, you vote for Joe Biden, or you stay on the couch. (audience members laughing) - I think we know which one of those options JD Vance would offer. (audience members laughing) (audience members cheering and applauding) Even I don't feel good about that joke. What do I know? A simple pink pony grandpop. (audience members laughing) (audience members cheering and applauding) Okay, let me explain very quickly. A reference to being a Chappel Roan fan, which I totally am. (audience members laughing and applauding) Now... Somebody in the audience, young people come here. But listen, man, the pundits all said it couldn't happen, but it did happen, and the Republicans are not very happy about it. - They just steamrolled democracy. - The Democrats are trying to hijack democracy. - The ultimate election interference. - This was a coup inside the Democratic Party. (audience members laughing) - A coup d'etat. - A bloodless coup. (audience members laughing) - But I get it, if I thought I had this thing in the bag, you were gonna be going up against old Joe Biden, and then they pull this, I'd be like, "Ref! Ref! Open your eyes! How can you not see? They're couping! They're couping!" (audience members laughing) And by the way, I love that guy's disappointment in the phrase "bloodless coup." This is a bloodless coup, what kind of fun is that? At least we brought bear spray and nunchucks. (audience members laughing) But you know what? I do understand that they're upset. It makes sense. So, how about we do this, out of fairness, I'm a fair person, you can replace your old guy too, that's fine. (audience members laughing and applauding) Let's try and balance this. Boom, boom! Even Steven. (audience members laughing) By the way, speaking of your old guy, he responded to the change to Harris in the Trumpiest way possible. (audience members laughing) - [Reporter] Donald Trump posted this on his Truth Social account, quote, "So we are forced to spend time and money on fighting crooked Joe Biden, now we have to start all over again. (audience members laughing) Shouldn't the Republican party be reimbursed for fraud?" (audience members laughing) - Do you have any idea how much money on Let's Go Brandon ear bandages I've spent? (audience members laughing) Made in America, via Bangladesh, My Trump is too Jerry Lewis. (audience members laughing) (audience members laughing) Well, what's done is done. You're gonna have to shift gears, recalibrate. You've had Cookie Joe and Sleepy Joe on speed dial, you're gonna need a new line of attack. - She doesn't like Jewish people. (audience members laughing) - Join the club, we're getting crushed out there. Right now, I'm not even sure how much we like ourselves. (audience members laughing) It's not like the old Seinfeld days when we were riding high. You know? (hums Seinfeld theme) (audience members laughing) (Jon laughing quietly) You could get a bagel in Iowa. Yeah, gimme a schmeer in Ames, Iowa. (Jon humming Seinfeld theme) Of course, that attack may ring hollow, seeing as Kamala Harris' husband is, let me check my notes, Jewish! (audience members laughing) Do you have anything else that could denigrate all of Kamala Harris' accomplishments by suggesting it's merely the power of the Jezebel? - It is relevant when a young candidate tries to sleep her way into politics, and into power, and that is what it appears Kamala Harris did. - She's never earned or won anything, like, she was legitimately handed her original post in California state government because she was sleeping with Willie Brown, (audience members groaning) and then he backed her in her race for San Francisco DA. - Okay, squeaks, (audience members laughing) listen, I don't know, guys, you're being awfully subtle here. Isn't there a grosser way you can say that? - Kamala Harris, he's the original Hawk Tuah girl, that's the way she got where she is. (audience members laughing and groaning) - That's what I'm talking about! That's the kind of substantive and elevated take from a guy who looks like he's won Mike's Hard Lemonade away from getting in a fight at his sister's wedding. (audience members laughing) You (beep). You little, little tuft of hair, you're not fooling anybody, baldy! (audience members laughing) So sexist, saying Kamala Harris slept her way to the top. Joe Biden and Donald Trump literally slept their way to the top, and we never heard a (beep) peep about it. Does anybody have a substantive critique? - Her record is extraordinarily radical. Let me say at the outset, Kamala can't have my guns, she can't have my gasoline engine, and she sure as hell can't have my steaks and cheeseburgers. (audience members laughing) - Sir, I don't want to be rude, but (audience members laughing) it does appear that you could at least share some of your cheeseburgers. (audience members laughing) Hmm? Hmm? (audience members laughing) Looks like you'll still be okay, is that right? Hmm? Tubs, hmm? (audience members laughing) Good to see you have mutton chops in case you get hungry, hmm? (audience members laughing) But is Harris really that radical? - If you combine Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren, you get Kamala Harris. (audience members laughing and groaning) - If you combine Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren, you get Kamala Harris? That can't be. You know what? There is an app that actually does that. (audience members laughing) Can we? Neil Patrick Harris?! (audience members applauding and cheering) Oh my god! It's Neil Patrick Harris. I love that guy. He's the best! Come on, guys, nobody believes Kamala Harris is the second coming of Karl Marx. And even when they get substantive policy critiques, they undercut them immediately. - Even when she was in California, she was very soft on crime. - The same Kamala Harris, who, as a California prosecutor and Attorney General, put people in prison to use them as cheap labor. - She's too soft on crime, she's too tough on crime! People, we open in three months. (clapping) (audience members laughing) You're flailing. Dig deep. (audience members laughing) - It's one final thing that nobody talks about, she's hated by people who worked for her. - Oh, my (beep) God. (audience members laughing) Are you kidding me? - Everybody that worked for Kamala quit. - A very aggressive, angry, bullying boss. - She's not a nice person to work with. - She's a terrible boss. - Your candidate's Donald Trump. (audience members laughing and applauding) His catchphrase is literally, "You're fired." He's the Anna Wintour of authoritarian wannabes. (audience members laughing) Donald Trump hired 44 cabinet members, 75% of them want nothing to do with the guy. His Secretary of State called him a "(beep) moron." His Chief of Staff said, "He's the most flawed person I've ever met." You know why he needs a new vice presidential running mate? I'll tell you why, he tried to get the last one killed. (audience members laughing and applauding) No, terrible. They're flailing. You know what? If you want something done, do it yourself. Donald, you're gonna have to hit Kamala with one of your magic nicknames. - Laughing Kamala, L-A-F-F-I-N, apostrophe, laughin'. (audience members laughing) (audience members laughing) - Eh. (audience members laughing) - So, now we have a new victim to defeat, lyin' Kamala Harris. Lyin', L-Y-I-N, apostrophe. (crowd booing) (audience members laughing) - Okay. (audience members laughing) You know what? I hate to say it, guys, but you tried, you gave her your best. I kind of think you're gonna have to go back to your classics. It's worked for you in the past, it's your comfort zone, think you're gonna have to play the hits. - I think she was a DEI hire. - 100%, she was a DEI hire. - She would be the queen of DEI if she were elected. She is DEI. - I think that this whole DE&I token hire of Kamala Harris has already been exposed. - This woman, this disaster, whose only qualification was having a vagina (graphic whooshing) and the right skin color. (audience members laughing and groaning) - So, I guess she's black. Or is she? - She's not African American, her mother's from India, her father's from Jamaica, she grew up in Canada, and she married a white Jewish guy. So she has no common experiences with black Americans. - She's not one of you. She's not even married to one of you. - She's also about as Black as Rachel Dolezal. - This is how desperate they are. Is she black? Is she Indian? Nobody knows. - Two races? (audience members laughing) In one person? (audience members laughing) Huh? Now I've seen everything. I heard she sent her DNA to 23andMe, and it broke the computer. (audience members laughing and applauding) I don't know what to do, goodness gracious. If these people ever saw a Pizza Hut/Taco Bell, they'd lose their (beep) minds. - Democrats are super fired up about having a candidate who isn't legally dead. (audience members laughing) Nearly every night now, huge groups are gathering on Zoom to raise money. It started with black women for Harris, and then black men for Harris, and then white women. And last night, white dudes took a break from trying to have sex with Asian women to do their Zoom call. (audience members laughing) - [Reporter] Monday night's "White Dudes for Harris" livestream raised more than $4 million, according to organizers. - More than 150,000 people were on the call, the call included possible Harris running mates, actors, the labor leaders, among the stars were Mark Hamill, Josh Groman, Joseph Gordon Levitt. - [Reporter] Actor Jeff Bridges, throwing in his star power. - Like qualifying, man, I'm white, I'm a dude, and I'm for Harris. (audience members cheering and applauding) I'm so excited, a woman president, man, how exciting. - Aw, I mean, it is cool that they got Jeff Bridges, but if anyone was waiting to see who the Big Lebowski endorses, I don't think that's the group that's gonna remember to vote. (audience members laughing) But 150,000 white dudes joined the Zoom, because nothing says "I'll do anything for this candidate" like clicking on the Zoom link from your toilet. (audience members laughing) The white dudes did raise a lot of money, although the Zoom went off the rails when someone asked if anyone had a favorite Bob Dylan album. (audience members laughing) And I personally am glad they found a way to make segregation progressive, (audience members laughing) but I'm just saying, historically, it's not great when white people develop racial awareness, okay? (audience members laughing) It starts out like, "Hey, let's just hang out," and then soon it's like, "Hey, this is fun. (audience members laughing) We should get some uniforms." (audience members laughing) But Democrats aren't waiting for a debate to go on offense, they've been subtly field testing a new line of attack, and see if you can spot it. - The way they address people, it is bizarre. And it's weird, it is weird. - That stuff is weird. They come across weird, they seem obsessed with this. - A super weird idea from JD Vance. (audience members laughing) - Yeah, it's not, I mean, it's quite weird. - They're just weird. - More weird. - That's just plain weird. (audience members laughing) - Weird. What about Donald Trump is weird? (audience members laughing) - Yeah, yeah! (audience members laughing and clapping) - Yeah, I just don't see it. (audience members laughing) Now, calling someone weird is a bit of a downgrade from, "He tried to overthrow democracy." (audience members laughing) On the other hand, you know, that message didn't really stick. I mean, Democrats spent four years being like, "Hey, everybody, remember January 6th?" And most Americans were like, "We don't remember and or care." So now Democrats are like, "Hey, wasn't trying to overthrow the government kinda weird?" (audience members laughing) Like, who even does that? And now people are like, "Yeah, I guess that is kind of weird." The best part about this line of attack is that there is no defense to it. I mean, you can't say, "Guys, guys, I'm not weird," (audience members laughing) because that sounds weird. And although Democrats have to be clear about what kind of weird they're referring to, because people could think that they mean like cool weird, like David Bowie or Jeff Goldblum, they gotta be like, "No, no, we mean weird-weird. Like the penguin from Batman." (audience members laughing) What was up with that guy? It's like, "Hey, I'm a bad guy, but I'm also into Antarctic wildlife conservation." (audience members laughing) And one of the weird things that they've been hitting them on is this comment Vance made in 2021. - We're effectively run in this country, via the democrats, via our corporate oligarchs, by a bunch of childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they've made, and so they wanna make the rest of the country miserable too. (audience members groaning) - Yeah, I mean, if you have friends who've chosen not to have kids, you know how totally miserable they are. Oh, (groans) I got too much disposable income. (audience cheering and applauding) My life is so hard, I can fly business class. I still have a sex life, please kill me. (audience members laughing) So, after getting backlash, JD Vance tried to do damage control, but it turns out he didn't misspeak, he's been shit-talking childless people for years. - The controversial comments he made questioning the judgment of people without children, they were not a one-off. He told a crowd, quote, "Babies are good because we're not sociopaths." He appealed to donors by mentioning that, quote, "Radical, childless leaders in this country. Cat ladies must be stopped." - You go on Twitter, and almost always, the people who are most deranged and most psychotic are people who don't have kids at home. (audience members laughing) - Yeah, of course, they're deranged and psychotic, they're on Twitter, (audience members laughing) that's where they live. It doesn't matter how many kids you have, the most deranged person on Twitter has 45 kids. (audience members laughing) So, today, Trump sat down with an interview with the National Association of Black Journalists, and things got off to a rocky start. - A lot of people did not think it was appropriate for you to be here today. You have pushed false claims about some of your rivals, from Nikki Haley, to former president Barack Obama, saying that they were not born in the United States, which is not true. You have told four congresswomen of color, who were American citizens, to go back to where they came from. You have used words like animal and rabid to describe black district attorneys. You've had dinner with a white supremacist at your Mar-a-Lago resort. So my question, sir, why should black voters trust you after you have used language like that? - Ooh, tough question. (audience members laughing) But hey, at least this is a good chance for former President Trump to address the concerns of black voters by answering with civility and grace. - Well, first of all, I don't think I've ever been asked a question, in such a horrible manner, the first question. (audience members laughing) You don't even, "Hello, how are you?" Are you with ABC? Because I think they're a fake news network, a terrible network. (crowd exclaiming) - Okay, okay, not a great start talking to a room full of black journalists, but you can still recover. - I think it's a very rude introduction, I don't know exactly why you would do something like that. You invited me under false pretense. And then you were half an hour late, just so we understand, I have too much respect for you to be late. I think it's a very nasty question. - [Interviewer] Love if you can answer the question on your rhetoric and why you made black people distrust you with your comments. - I have answered the question. I have been the best president for the black population (crowd member hooting) since Abraham Lincoln. That's my answer. (crowd roaring) - [Interviewer] Better than President Johnson, who signed the Voting Rights Act? And for you to start off a question and answer period, especially when you're 35 minutes late, because you couldn't get your equipment to work in such a hostile manner, I think it's a disgrace. (Ronny chuckling) (audience member hooting)