Everyone would be better off without me. I couldn't see any other way out. I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up.
I wanted all of this to go away. These are the voices of suicidal ideation, which is the thinking that haunts people and brings them to the brink of taking their own lives. Most of us have been touched by suicide in some way. Some of us have personally lost a loved one to suicide, or we know someone who has. Some of us have had suicidal thoughts ourselves or even attempted suicide.
Far too many people take their own lives every year in America, with especially concerning rates in veterans and adolescents. We know there are certain situations that add to the risk of people attempting suicide. If they have made an attempt in the past, if a member of their family has attempted or died from suicide. If they own or have easy access to weapons, a lot of unused medication or drugs, or anything else that could be used to attempt suicide. If any of these are true, their risk can increase further.
If they struggle with mental health problems, depressed mood and hopelessness are serious risk factors. Other problems like a recent breakup, job loss, or legal trouble can be important to consider. Or if they use drugs or drink alcohol, both are highly related to death by suicide.
And if someone uses much more during difficult times, it's important to notice this. We are completely certain of two things. Suicidal ideation is an emergency, and we can all play an important part of saving someone who might be living it. Here are a few critical things to understand.
Most of the time, people don't want to die. Even when things feel very bad, most people truly want to live. People say they just don't want to feel the pain anymore.
That's why it's so important for you to know what to look for. So how can you tell if someone in your life needs help? And what should you do?
First, really listen. This is often the most important thing to do when someone we know is struggling. If a person is thinking of suicide, he or she says so.
Sometimes the person literally comes out and says something like, I wish I were dead. Other people may mention suicidal thoughts more passively, saying something like, if I were gone, no one would notice, or I have nothing to live for, or I just wish all of this would stop. Then, watch.
Heavy or increased drug or alcohol use can be a warning sign if someone has been thinking of suicide. Also, pay attention if someone is socially isolated, or if someone tells you he or she is feeling overwhelmed by stressful situations that don't seem to have solutions. We need to notice when our friends and family are having more trouble than they usually do. Finally, ask. If anything does not feel or sound right to you, or if you're worried at all, ask about it.
Make it straightforward and don't be afraid. Use these words. Are you thinking of killing yourself?
You will not give someone the idea if that person wasn't already considering it. In fact, most of the time, and people feel relieved that they can talk about what they're struggling with, and you very well might save their life. If you think someone is in danger of suicide, stay with them and get help. If your friend or loved one admits to thinking about suicide, make sure the situation is safe and stay with the person. Validate his or her feelings and listen without judgment, even if it's scary.
Encourage the person to get professional help right away, and help if necessary, even if this means calling 911. going to the hospital. Every one of us has a role to play in preventing suicide. If you are feeling like suicide might be an option for you, please be brave and ask for help. If you're worried about someone you care about, be the one who asks the all-important question. You could very well save that person's life.