do you wish you had the power to get any man you wanted to think about you obsessively does it feel like if you were to just be able to get the guy you actually like to think about you everything would be so much easier today I'll share with you Seven Fantastic ways you can literally force a man to think about you all the time to the point where you're wondering how you're going to get rid of him welcome to the Players Club if you're paying attention to me and everyone else in the live stream please say here or present so I know you're here present and actively participating with me and everyone else okay welcome on this beautiful Tuesday or Wednesday for some of you it might be Wednesday uh glad to see all You Beautiful People I see we got Scotty here we got Lei here sh is here of of course we got Molina over in the YouTube chat Missy America holding down in the YouTube chat we got Angela as well over in the YouTube chat Welcome All of You Beautiful People okay see bernardet over in the Tik Tok we got Lily Ivy Kayla Sharice is here of course uh Diana lb welcome to All You Beautiful People let's get started okay how to force man to think of you all the time 24/7 okay so first we have mystery now we need to establish a couple of things when we're going to talk about mystery okay because mystery is going to be the key to unlocking everything that we are trying to do here in order to force this man to think of you I need you to grasp the concept mystery is amazing and it works in mysterious ways and it'll help you in a lot of ways that you might not even realize okay now just like with anything else that we talk about on this show it's about balance okay mystery is not about making someone feel like you're uninterested in them mystery is also not about you know being so out of it and taking such a step back that someone doesn't even realize that you're into them enough for there to be a possibility of them getting you or gaining access to you you understand what I'm saying there's a balance there it's also not about being in someone's face and being too obvious in your trying to be mysterious because then they'll just be like what what are you doing this is weird Okay so there's a balance there where you can be mysterious just mysterious enough that it keeps them on the hunt you know we always talk about chasing it keeps them on the hunt to continue chasing after you to continue Desiring you but there needs to be a process and a balance to that where you give them just enough for for there to be just enough Intrigue in order for them to keep looking for the answers to the mystery okay there's a there's a reason why in all of your favorite um I don't know uh mystery movies or uh you know mystery books whatever you want to call it right there's a there's a mystery and then of there's a larger mystery and then as the larger mystery is getting figured out and you're getting closer and closer to unlock the larger mystery there's always smaller and smaller Clues along the way so that you feel like you're actually moving in the right direction okay if your favorite mystery novel only ever had okay well we have this uh we have this unived mystery from these high school students and we got to figure out which one of the high school students did it okay if they just skipped right from the the mystery right into the uh answer to the question well you wouldn't have much of a book you wouldn't have any book actually and you wouldn't have an an interesting one at that even if you were to do it that way because part of what makes the mystery interesting is how each individual clue leading up to the mystery makes you feel like you're just about to be there you're just about to figure it out and then you realize oh no it wasn't this the answer was actually that and then you go in this direction right and that's part of the game Life's a game guys if you if you don't want to oh relationship shouldn't be a life's a game okay you can either play it you can join the Players Club and you can play it or you can choose to sit back and allow the game to be played on you the choices yours doesn't bother me either way so as it relates to mystery it's very important to understand that there is a balance I need to say that because sometimes when I say mystery some of you guys want to take it to one extreme or the other and then you wonder why the guy is uninterested in you or just you know stops caring because there's mystery and then there's just you know making someone feel like you don't care about them or you're uninterested in them okay so when we're talking about forcing a man to think of you all the time let's get specific with the type of mystery you're going to be giving him that's going to make him think about you all the time so let's imagine you meet a guy at an event okay and you meet a guy at this event you guys are chitchatting you've never met before no mutual friends or anything you're chitchatting having a good conversation conversation's flowing and going you're getting to know each other a little bit asking each other questions this is not when you're implanting the mystery okay so you don't do the mystery by saying I'm not going to tell you anything about myself I'm not going to say anything about who I am or what my name that's not mystery okay that's not what I'm discussing mystery would be after you meet that guy at that event he's like oh I would love to to see you more talk to you go out on a date with you go out on a little dinner date with you whatever right and you're like cool sure that's fine maybe you like the guy you think he's cool you're down to go on the dinner date so the next day he text you okay now I know you're going to say but that's a game that's a game this is a game do you want him to think about you all the time or no which one is it because if you want him to think about you all the time I can give you techniques but it might feel like a game to you it's not going to be uh oh roll around in the grass and he's going to think like let's be for real okay like they're going to have some techniques here now I say that to say let's say he does text you after you guys meet at this event and he tells you that hey you know uh I loved meeting you yesterday I would love to uh take you out on a nice dinner date um or when are you free or you know would you be down for that right and he texts you I want you this is an example of of mystery on in the right way okay I want you he's going to text you the next day I want you to wait the entire day okay so if he text you the next morning or the next afternoon I want you to wait 24 hours okay I know this is going to sound extreme but I want you to wait 24 hours and then I want you to text him back and then express your excitement to actually go out on the date and then let him know when you're free okay now I know some of you might be like I 24 hours why would I do that to someone that I like why would I do that that's playing a game he's going to he's going to lose interest he's not going to want to text me back after take a CH pill okay I want you to understand when someone is truly interested and invested in you okay 24 hours is not going to kill their interest I I need you to grasp that concept because I know some of you have like a lot of anxiety and then you have even more anxiety when it comes to a guy that you like and that's the problem I know you I know a lot of you right I don't know you but I know a lot of you are not ugly women okay you're attractive women which means you can be attractive to men okay so if you're not doing a good job of getting that man into you and pursuing you all it's about is changing and adjusting your approach and the problem with your approach is yes you're an attractive woman but when you like a guy your approach changes and becomes a little bit more uh what's the word I'm looking for off-putting and unattractive which makes him less attracted to you which makes him chase you less which gets you all the things that you don't want okay and what I'm trying to do is trying to help you understand how your approach might change when you like a guy that you can purposely approach the situation in the relationship with the mindset or uh from the uh perspective of if you were to not like him right because CU When you don't like the guy that's the time when he likes you the most so if you were to treat the guys that you do like like you didn't like them you get a similar result right you'd get them chasing after you okay stay with me so when I talk about mystery let's say you don't message him for 24 hours but when you do message him remember I told you mystery is about balance so it's not about not texting him back for 24 hours then when you do text him back you say uh my bad I was in the bathroom for 24 hours right that will communicate to him that you're actually uninterested in him and you don't actually want to go out on this date when you text him back right you can even apologize for oh hey sorry I was doing uh this all yesterday and I was super tired but I would love to go out on this date right and say I would love to to see you in person I would love to get to know you more I had a really good conversation with you right express your excitement to go out on this date and that you feel the same way that he does you want to know why you do that right because remember I talked about mystery is not just all about having no answers or no clues right you have to leave Clues and breadcrumbs as a way of allowing someone to feel motivated to take the next step and the best part about mystery and everything you're trying to do here when you want men to think about you all the time you're not just trying to elicit positive emotions out of him okay I'll be the first to tell you if a guy only feels positive emotions when he thinks about you or in experiences with you it doesn't contrast itself in the same way that will make you in his mind all encompassing right something that he just can't get his brain off of when you want a guy to be thinking about you all the time he actually in his own mind has to be going back and forth with himself about what you feel what where you stand in the relationship what you want right he's got to be arguing with himself trying to figure out where what what it is this relationship is what do his things stand at right he's got to be trying to convince himself and argue with himself and tell no it's this and no it's that right so he's got to be feeling positive and negative emotions about you and the situations he goes through with you right and when I say negative I just mean anxiety right being anxious being scared you know waiting for the possibilities right maybe being a little bit annoyed or frustrated that you're not texting him back in 35 seconds or that you always have something to do right those would be considered quote unquote negative emotions even though I don't think any emotion is negative but what we would M consider a negative emotion right you don't just want him to think of you and feel happiness and joy and uh you know all all good emotions why because what happens is if he's only feeling happiness and joy and all these positive emotions when he thinks of you there's nothing to balance things out okay so you can't experience Joy unless you experience sadness or else you won't even understand what the joy feels like so if he's only experiencing Joy with you he'll be like this all the time and if he's like this all the time there's no reason for him to go back and forth in his mind about you to think well what does this mean and what does that mean what what what did she mean when she said that does she not like me anymore is she not into me anymore is she too like what's going on why should she texting me back why isn't she call him why isn't she all of the type of things that you think about the guys that you like when you really like a guy right and all all the all the uh ideas you put in your head all the situations you go through all the back and forth that you uh say in your own mind when you like a guy and you're interested in a guy and you feel like oh my God I don't know where he stands I don't know what he thinks I don't know what he wants what does this mean what does that mean and you're analyzing every single little minute small little thing to try and get what you're trying to get Clues to understand what it is he's about what it is he wants if he even wants you right because you're trying to solve the mystery do you see how this works this has been happening to you with the guys that you like maybe you didn't realize how it was happening I'm here to explain it to you how it's happening that you can actually elicit this response from even the guys that you like and remember the guys are naturally okay they're naturally uh made to want to pursue you right the girls that they like they're naturally going to want to pursue them cha chase after them if you want to call it some people some people get so discombobulated about the idea of chasing right they're going to want to pursue you go after you to get you okay because they want you that badly so that's already natural to him so as you create that mystery all it does is fit the already existing uh narrative and approach that he wants to take as a man which is I want you I need you in my life I need to make you my woman I'm going to do the things necessary to make you my woman whatever it whatever that is right you're you're putting him in a position that is already natural to him which is a good thing that's why you want that mystery there okay you want that mystery there as a way to uh and you want the mystery there in combination with the clues that you can set up that will keep him motivated to chasing after you are you guys following me so far okay that mystery is vitally important if you don't have mystery right um there won't be any reason to think about you right part of the reason remember I said part of the reason he's thinking about you is not just because you make him feel joy and happiness 24/7 because he can't ever know what joy and happiness feels like if he doesn't have the anxiety the sadness or the frustration okay so you actually want to be eliciting some of those other responses like anxiety frustration that will have him going back and forth in his mind what does she think what does she want what does she feel why does she do this why does she do that and he'll be analyzing every single one of your moves your words your your your body language because he'll TR constantly be trying to find Clues to solve his mystery of does she like me or does she not does she want to be with me or does she not does she want this relationship or does she not right that's his mystery that he's going to constantly be trying to solve so everything that you're doing from here on out has to be toing the line of oh it's this but no it's that but no it's this but no it's that okay and you see why I told you it's a balance because if you give him all of no it's she doesn't want me she doesn't want to be W with me right and all of your Clues point to that angle right then he's going to say to himself oh well that's the answer that's the that's the that's the answer to the mystery right she doesn't want me she doesn't want to be with me so there's no more debate to have with myself there's no more analyzing that I need to do with her actions or her words or her body language I know that the answer is that she does not want to be with me so I don't have to figure out any more clues vice versa if he gets too much of oh the answer to the mystery is that she definitely wants to be with me she doesn't think about anyone else she doesn't want anyone else it's all about me she worships me you know she won't look at anyone else but me right especially at the beginning he stops thinking about you the same way because he has all the answers he needs to his mystery there's no need to search for all the different Clues there's no need to analyze a whole bunch of body language there's no need to hang on to every single word think about this have you I want to ask you guys a question in the live stream chat and I want you guys to tell me if this is true or not have you ever been in a relationship or a situationship where you were trying so desperately to figure out every single you were trying to solve the mystery of does this guy like me and actually want to be with me that you found yourself hanging on to every single word that he says every single text that he he sends you're analyzing every single little thing trying to figure out does this guy like me for real and does he want me for real or is this all fake right tell me if you've ever been in a scenario like that or maybe it's never happened to you maybe I'm just confused okay where it's like every single little thing you're trying to use grasp every straw you're just trying to find a clue and you're like that's every clue you're just like oh but he said this and that must mean that because you're trying to put everything two and two together you're trying to take this clue from 3 months ago from from two years ago and you're trying to impl and how it fits into this clue and then you're analyzing this situation you're looking on his Instagram and trying to analyze stuff with how he approached you and how he said this to you and how this matches up with this and that and this and that and you're just go you're going insane okay but you're going insane and what's happening you're thinking about him more and you're thinking about him more and you're thinking about him more okay I see someone said it's so exhausting neimi says it's so so exhausting Z says yes uh Sky says that's so true I uh I was always straightforward I didn't leave a mystery because I don't like games okay that's I'm glad that you said that actually uh sky right is it and it's and it's amazing because those of us that don't like games and are like oh I want to go into my relationships I'm not going to play games because I just want to be straightforward and honest and that's what people deserve is my honesty and and being straightforward I'll just let them know exactly how it feels that sounds cool and great in theory it sounds good in a movie about a Utopia on Earth the reality is though we don't live in that Utopia and if if you're too straightforward with people especially the people that you like and you um are like oh well I'm not going to play any games I'm just going to be blunt about it tell you exactly how it is especially as a woman what's going to happen is those men are going to lose interest because the desires not there because the mystery is not there they don't get to be able to put their attention on pursuing you trying to figure out more about you trying to get you trying to get you into their gra it's it's a it's it's a vicious cycle like I want you to understand right uh queen says what's a Utopia a Utopia like utti o p a right to UTI U no u o p i a yeah Utopia someone spell it out in the chat for her okay you can you can search it on Google um search the definition okay a Utopia just means a perfect world okay so um and the reason I say that is because you have to understand what's ingrained in us as human beings right is that desire to figure things out right and how our attention will always go to the thing that we can't quite figure out or understand as opposed to the thing that is straightforward and obvious okay I want you to imagine a scenario in which uh let's say I I i' I asked you guys this before but let's say in this hand I have my Aqua for ChapStick and let's just say for the sake of argument in this hand I had a huge large box let's just imagine this was a huge large box a black box and it's got 10 locks on the box okay you got a huge large box in my other hand and I ask you if you had to guess right that I I'll say I got this in my hand this Aqua for stick and I've got an item sitting inside this huge black box which item if you had to guess I forced you to make a guess which item do you think is more valuable the aaor stick that's sitting in my hand right in front of you or whatever is sitting inside this huge black box with a whole bunch of shiny silver locks on it which one would you guess was more valuable okay I see some people saying in the box right what's the stick it's an aqua for stick like a ChapStick like chapstick just out of aaor okay it's literally chapstick right uh ESS says what if the box is empty you can't see into the box the box is a huge big black box with a whole bunch of locks on it you can't see into the box so you have no idea what's in the box okay and I ask you what do you think is more valuable right naturally of course like everyone's saying in the chat right the box I would think that the box is more valuable right and the crazy part about this box in my hand is that the item that's actually sitting in the Box could be even less valuable than this chapstick I could have a penny sitting in the Box I could have a piece of lint sitting in the Box I could have a piece of my hair my DNA sitting in the Box don't think of it in a weird way okay sitting in the Box something that is completely useless to you that you don't care about and that doesn't matter okay but the point is that your idea of value is based on your perception that value value will be hidden behind mystery right and the Intrigue that you have of feeling like there must be something valuable if it's sitting behind this huge black box is what's actually going to make you feel like feel like feel like what's in here is so valuable that it's even more valuable than anything I could offer you in this okay and that example Reigns true even even if I were to have $5,000 in my hand okay right and I've given that example before on my Tik Tok even if I had $5,000 in my hand instead of this Aqua for stick while some of you might say to yourself yeah you know it would be smarter for me to take the $5,000 right the simple fact that in the other hand there's a huge black box will be so intriguing because what happens the mystery you can project anything you want onto the mystery right that's the amazing part about the mystery is that you don't know what's truly in here you don't know what what what what truly exists right in this black box you don't know what's you don't you don't know if it's valuable you don't know if it's Valu less but the Intrigue will have you spending more time thinking about what could be or is not inside the Black Box than you'll ever think about what's readily available to you right in front of my hand okay even if I had $5,000 in this hand and the huge black box in the other hand right that the thoughts in your mind would not be hey that $5,000 looks so good the thoughts in your mind would be actually calculating what are the chances that whatever is inside that black box is more valuable than the $5,000 and the entire time you spend debating or thinking about the decision you're going to make it's really going to be about trying to decide is the Black Box going to be more valuable than the 5,000 000 it's not going to be about the possibilities of the $5,000 okay and I say all that to say mystery can be such a powerful thing when you use it correctly right when you use it correctly and also lay down clues that allow the mystery to continue being interesting interesting enough to cons to continue to pursue the answer to your question the same way how we just talked about earlier um when we're talking about vice versa when you're in a situation where excuse me when you're in a situation where you're literally like feing hanging on every single little text just just going over everything he said oh my God so so he said he said he said he is busy but does he mean he's busy as in he doesn't want to hang out with me or does he mean he's busy as if he's got a work thing or is he busy as in he's got a friend thing oh he's busy with friends what kind of friends is he busy with a girlfriend or like a friend friend or like a platonic friend or like a girl he slept with friend type of friend that's not really a friend anymore but they're kind of romantic but they kind of do a thing where they pretend to be friends and you're just like it's like three words right it's like three words and you're sitting here trying to interpret what he meant by saying those three words okay and it's the the same addiction that you feel when you're trying to figure out what does he feel what does he want what does he think what is he what is this what is that what why did he act like why did his left eye twitch three times does that mean that he's lying does that mean that he hates me does that mean that he's trying to play me does that mean that he has a girlfriend and you you'll just be going insane but you can elicit that same emotion out of other men if you just hold your water and keep the mystery going just enough that he continues to want to know the answers to more and more things so in the example I gave you of you meeting a guy at an event and then he text you the next day because he's super excited you guys had a great conversation and you wait 24 hours to message him right during that time that you don't message him back he's going to be thinking to himself put yourself in his shoes he's going to be thinking to himself oh my God you she's not into me she doesn't like me or maybe she gave me the wrong number and he's going to be saying to himself oh I'm such an idiot she gave me the wrong number and the whole time I thought she was into me but the whole time she really wasn't into me she was really just she was really just plating me and just you know just because it was an event and probably you know probably just because we were at the same event she was probably bored she probably just talked to me just cuz I was the only person there talking to her and I probably was just acting like like a complete idiot just just continued yapping and yapping and yapping and she probably wasn't even listening and then he'll start analyzing everything that happened in that in that event when you guys were talking he'll think oh and when I was saying this about my about my mom or my brother she started looking away and oh my God I'm so stupid I started talking about my brother and she clearly wasn't even interested bro she's you're so dumb she doesn't even care this is all happening in the process of the 24 hours that you don't text them back all of that anxiety is building right all of his thoughts are going towards oh oh my God I need to figure out this and he's debating himself right overanalyzing everything that went on in that one single event and all of a sudden you've turned the process of meeting you from a 30 minute you know meet and greet or you know just conversation and you've turned it into like a 12 12h hour thing actually you've turned it technically into 24-hour thing right because every moment that's passing by that you don't text him back he's going to be thinking and thinking and thinking going back with this and going back with that and so what is he thinking he's reminiscing back on the time of meeting you he's Reminiscing on what it felt like what what you smelled like where your eyes went what you talked about he's Reminiscing on everything and so every all all of that time he's replaying meeting you over and over again so all of a sudden that meat right that introduction that only lasted 30 minutes feels like it lasted 12 hours right or in this case it feels like it lasted 24 hours because all of that anxiety let's just say let's just say the anxiety started from when he actually texted you right all of that anxiety that built up from texting you and not getting a response back is making him reminisce on the situation more and more and more and trying to figure out okay what does she want what does she think what is this what is that what is this what is that right and all of that leads to the mystery okay uh for those of you uh say that it's glitching a lot on uh Tik Tok just head over to YouTube because for some reason on YouTube they never seem to have any glitches YouTube Just is just be going like easy as hell okay so keep that in mind the mystery is so important you do not want to be in a situation where you give a guy no m cuz remember even in the example I gave you as soon as you text this guy back right the moment you text him back what's going to happen he's going to after all of that anxiety you know he's down in the dump seeds low like this he's going to be like damn you know what did I do what did I say right and you text him back he's going to be like oh my God oh my God she texted me back like and in all of his anxiety is going to be relieved in a moment's notice right because you just texted him back and all you did was text him back but it feels much bigger and it feels much more important and it feels much more uh just large and impactful even though all you did was meet him and talk to him for 30 minutes and now you texted him after 24 hours later after meeting him but all of that roller coaster of emotions that he went through up until the point that you actually met or sorry that you actually texted him back is made him think about you this entire time as opposed to you being so excited and ecstatic that you know you finally met a guy that you like and uh let's say before he even gets the chance to reach out to you the next day you're the one texting him saying hey I loved yesterday I you know I I just want you to let you know that I really love talking to you yesterday on all this good stuff right like by by the time he even wakes up in the morning you've already texted him that because you're so excited to meet him and you're so happy about meeting him right and what's going to happen the opposite of mystery so as soon as he wakes up and he sees your text yeah he'll feel good that you liked him and that you were into him but what also happens is he spent 24 Less hours Reminiscing on you and the situation he might think about how good it was for a little bit but after a while he'll be like cool that was cool I know she likes me I know she's into me I don't really have anything in my mind to debate about you understand joining the Players Club is understanding how you canit U manipulate positive and negative emotions and how both of those work in your favor okay it's not just about getting people to love you and like you all the time it's also being strategic about when to give as crazy as it sounds it's also about being strategic about knowing when to give people anxiety knowing when to detach yourself from people knowing when to uh take a step back that people will begin to feel their own individual anxiety about you and towards you and come chasing after you especially for you as the woman that's already going to be natural to most of the men that you uh meet well the heterosexual straight men that you come across okay so it's not going to be much very hard for you to do the actions that elicit that particular Pursuit response uh from men so uh does that make sense to you guys so far let me know also in the Tik Tok chat if it's continuing to glitch or um if you guys are better now okay very important that we understand that uh so mystery was number one how to force men to think of you all the time mystery was number one number two we have enchantment okay I want us to have a good solid conversation about enchantment what what do you guys think tell me in the chat what do you guys think it means when I say enchantment I've talked about this before but this is probably the first time it's actually been its own subtopic in what we're discussing tell me what you guys think it means in the chat what do you think it means when I talk about enchantment what do you think that means okay I want to know what you guys think that means I see you guys saying it's better in the Tik Tok chat okay that's good I'm glad okay um batia says uh to be Charmed by you okay Rosie says being an awe wowing someone Kima says mystery U Missy America says charm Brenda says creating desire okay Scotty says not really sure I'll explain it to you in just a second I just want to see where you guys are at uh goddess says to attract someone okay surprising someone I see all right a magical experience Rosie says Okay so let's like we casted a spell on them uh uh molena says Molina says okay let's talk about enchantment enchantment is everything you're trying to do here okay when you want a guy to think about you all the time we talked about mystery and mystery is great in combination with the mystery you want to be focused on the enchantment remember what you're trying to do here okay first of all you're trying to get him to think about you all the time think about what it feels like to think about someone all the time 24/7 okay think if you've ever been in that situation tell me what does it feel like to think about someone 24/7 all the time it probably feels a lot like you're under their spell like you can't really control yourself like some way shape or form they're in control more of your emotions and feelings and thoughts than you are even in control control of your emotions and feelings and thoughts okay now when you think of it like that I actually want you to begin to position yourself in a place where you see yourself as the person who is casting a spell on him and enchanting him you want to know why this is the best way to do that because now you can implant any thoughts or ideas in his mind that you desire that you want him to think that you want him to feel and you'll be the one in control of his thoughts feelings and emotions and if you're in control of his thoughts feelings and emotions well then you can control him I know that sounds bad I know that sounds horrible I know that sounds manipulative that's because it is okay that's why we're here this is called The Players Club this isn't called the sit back and relax while life gets done to you Club this is the get what you want Club Okay so when we're talking about enchantment it's very important that you understand your job is not to obviously you're trying to interview him by getting to know him and understand him and know what he's here for so that you can determine if you should even be giving your Squirtle or not to him okay but you're not going there you know standing up straight being like tell me everything you've done bad in your life tell me everything you've done good in your life I want to make sure I'm here for the right reason like you don't go into it like with a suit and high and scare him away by interrogating him that's not what you do what you do when you're trying to extract information and determine where he's going to fall in line and what category he's going to be in for you you enchant him in order to get all the information and things out of him that you desire if you want information to make a decision sure if you want money cuz I know some of you want money you can do this it's the same thing you enchant him first then when enchant him because when you enchant him you have control of his thoughts feelings and emotions now you can control what you receive from him and what's going to happen is if you're doing the enchantment properly you're going to actually make him feel like everything he's doing and saying and giving whatever it may be he's going to feel like those are genuine thoughts and feelings of his own not of someone else and because he feels like they're genuine to himself he's going to be much more willing to to give whatever it is he's giving and he's going to be happy about giving that when he does he's not going to feel forced to do that he's not going to feel pressured to do that and that's the best place you want people to be okay you want them to feel like they have done it from their own free will pitch says oops I don't like this this is I guess you could say the dark side to relationships because the truth is is if you're here with me and you feel like other people have used you and gotten what they wanted out of you without you receiving anything you wanted in return the truth is this has happened to you what I'm explaining to you right now okay and the truth is that if you do not learn this understand this and figure out how to utilize this for yourself you will continue living your life where you continue getting it done to you because I promise you this is this I I I can assure you the people who understand how to enchant will always find themselves in a relationship with someone who is easily Enchanted right because if I know how to enchant and I know that you're easily Enchanted because you don't bother to understand any of this and because uh you don't care about any of this and because you don't think that that's the right thing to be doing what's going to happen I'm going to enchant you I'm going to control you without you realizing it and all the things that you're doing and saying will actually be things that I implant into you okay right so it's it's it's hard to um sink in let's sink in but it's the reality because if you feel like you've had things done to you that weren't fair or you feel like in your relationships other people get what they want out of you and they used you that's what happened to you that's what happened to you okay now uh Scotty says please leave some examples of how to enchant I I'll definitely do that for you so as we're discussing how to enchant a man okay let's all be of the understanding of what men are seeking for what they want in the first place okay so this isn't a mystery if he's a straight heterosexual man there's a 99.9% chance that he wants a feminine woman this isn't mystery now I'm not here to tell you how to be a feminine woman but I'm sure you can if you were this is the advice I I'll give you if I were to tell you to go uh up to a guy and feed his ego tell me what are some of the things you would say or do if you wanted to go up to a guy and feed his ego just tell me just tell me just tell me I want you to give me give me some examples of some things you would say to him or some some things you would do to him or with him or around him that you would feed his ego just give me some examples of stuff you are so wise are you saying that you would say that to him okay you're saying that you would say that to him I think uh chat says you're so smart um Rosie says uh he's smart and good-look he's perfect uh Ambry says compliment him uh Mary says his hair looks nice I would make him feel important smart and strong batia says he's a very attractive guy flattered be interested in what he's saying please can someone pin what Laura said and where she said in the Tik Tok chat she said I would make him feel important smart and strong please pin that for me in the Tik Tok chat okay so by the way YouTube chat you guys got to catch up see how Tik Tok chat they're answering stuff they're participating you guys aren't participating as much in the YouTube chat okay I see you guys okay you're existing too and there's lots of you here so very important right um as Laura just said make him feel important smart and strong I love that answer right because if you want to feed a man's ego right first of all ego is the key to all of our hearts but especially a man we we should uh if you don't already know this right a man's ego is the key to his heart so when we're talking about feeding a man's ego remember I talked to you guys yesterday about um what was the what was the topic yesterday yesterday we talked about why emotional women don't win and we talked about how men will feed your ego in the way that best serves you as a woman to manipulate your emotions right get you overly emotional emotionally overwhelmed that you'll feel so good about the relationship or think it's going so well think that he likes you so much that you'll start speeding yourself up and doing things before you are even actually genuinely ready for them the same way you can feed a man's ego in a particular way that gets him interested in you okay now it's very delicate how you do this okay because you're not trying to overdo it to the point where it feels fake and you also don't want to make him feel like uh what's the word I'm looking for you're super obsessed with him okay you want to enchant him in a way that is indirect that leaves just enough mystery as to what it is that you actually mean so you can come up to him for example let's say this is a guy that you like and you can be you can do all the things that Lord just said make him feel important strong and uh was think smart right without actually saying that okay the words aren't as powerful as the feeling if that makes any sense right so for example Laura said important you can make someone feel important by asking them a lot of questions and even when they do answer their questions right making sure that your body language is on point that your reaction and response to him answering the questions is that of someone who's really interested and invested in these answers right so if he's telling you if you're like oh so can you tell me about your last uh your last relationship like how did it go you said you dated that that girl for 4 years like what was that like like what what like what did you guys go through what were some of the ups and downs and as he's talking just like wow wow I've never I've never met someone who's done something like this wow I've never I I I didn't even realize that that someone would ever go through I don't think I've ever met someone that's went to Spain or went to this or and as he's telling the story you can just present yourself and your body language as being someone who's super intrigued and interested in what he's saying what that does to him is he begins to feel like oh my gosh I'm getting a whole bunch of positive feedback you're so happy that I'm telling you more about me I'm telling you more uh about uh my life I'm telling you more about my experiences what's going to happen is he's going to feel motivated to continue telling you more and more and more and saying more and more and more right and sharing more and more and more and that is good for you and the more you make him feel this is making him feel important right because you're discussing with him or you're sorry you're allowing him to tell you about him and you're presenting yourself as being interested in everything that he's saying that he feels important okay right now remember I said it's a feeling so it's not so direct that you're saying you're so important that he there wouldn't be any mystery to it but it's a feeling that he can go back in his own mind and say to himself damn when I was talking to her she was like really invested in the conversation and she was asking me a lot of questions was it because she was really into me or maybe I'm just tripping right it's just enough to give you a feeling right but not enough to be a confir total confirmation does that make sense to you guys right does that make sense to you guys uh uh uh Ivy says it works easier with people that have unhealthy ego action I think it works with everyone okay and I seen someone earlier uh say uh this is a so sad that this happens well here's the truth is that it happens so whether or not you want to accept it as happening or accept it as the truth it happens and if you're moved by this or you feel like there might be something to this then there's a chance that there's actually something to this if you feel like I'm just talking a whole bunch of BS maybe I'm just an idiot okay but in reality if you want to continue ignoring this then you're probably going to end up as frustrated as you were when you first got here okay so very important right enchantment is a feeling it doesn't have to necessarily be direct actions or words that tell him hey I like you so much hey I'm so right it's a feeling and it's enchantment is also about playing into that mystery giving him feelings of oh she's interested in me oh she likes me oh she's this oh she's that but then also making him feel like oh but she's too busy for me oh but she doesn't text me back oh but she's cutting our dates short okay another way to enchant a man okay I'll give you some some advice cuz I know you guys want direct examples another great way Angie talks about the black cat Theory I'll have a whole another discussion in live stream show about the black cat Theory from a man's perspective cuz I see that's growing a lot of popularity okay but when we're talking about enchantment another great way to enchant a man and I've said this to you guys before you want to give him a lot of we're going to get to to Quality as well you want to give him very high quality when he spends his time with you and you purposely want to cut that off after a period of time what I mean by cut that off is you don't ever want to overstay your welcome okay and you always want him to feel like he's gets high quality versions of you whether in conversation and meeting you and spending time with you right that are so stimulating to the senses and the emotions but it happens for such a short period of time that all he can think about when he's not with you is being with you again that's part of the enchantment and so a great way to enchant a man is to constantly put yourself in a position where the time he spends with you is so stimulating mentally physically emotionally I don't mean mentally by using your hands mouth or or or insides okay I just talk about like um physically just in a three-dimensional sense right it's so stimulating that he begins to long for and wish for the next time he can spend time with you he begins to long for and wish for the next time he can speak to you talk to you call you right hang out with you take you out on a date and the enchantment it becomes like a spell cast upon him that he can't do anything but think about when he's going to be with you or see you again are you following so far are you guys following so far Leslie says you're right about this I came off as obsessive and backed off a little now he shows much more interest see how that works see how that works right uh uh Leah says I like this how do you react if he crosses your boundaries if you have a personal question make sure you go and ask it in the Discord if you have a personal situation um I've also answered things like that in previous live streams so you got to check out some of my previous live streams okay but go up in the Discord if you have a personal situation okay the Discord link is in my Tik Tok bio on my profile and it's in the bottom of the description as well okay so as it relates to enchantment are you guys understanding that or do you guys have any more questions I know that that enchantment can be a little bit of a confusing one where you're kind of like H I'm not really sure what you mean still I'm not really sure what you mean by casting a spell on him okay remember I just told you guys how feeding a guy's ego is a great way right to get him the same way you can get him emotionally uh overwhelmed and stimulated right and you can be controlled by your emotions when uh a guy is boosting and feeding your ego is the same way you can do to him [Music] right uh Deb says the Players Club toen oh my God cut it off in the beginning but walking through life in due time I would think I hope so okay uh uh when should you starve his ego goddess says that's a great question my advice to you is to right part of remember part of the enchantment I'm actually glad that you that you someone says how long does the enchantment lasts forever okay that never stops um part of the enchantment also remember like I like I said with mystery is never making him feel like he's getting too much of something that the clue is all pointing in One Direction that's why I started off with mystery your favorite mystery novel or movie would not be interesting if all of the clues pointed in One Direction and only gave one Poss possible answer to the situation okay I don't know how many of you have watched 13 reasons why I think it's season 3 or four right where they have uh the unive mystery of one of the students at the school not the not the be not the the first season I'm talking about the unive mystery that happens at I think through season 3 or four um at the school where they're trying to figure out who did it okay and throughout the season right much the same with all these other unive Mysteries throughout the season each episode is pointing to clues that would lead you in a different direction and make you feel like it was a different person right and that's the whole fun in the mystery is having to pick up all of these Clues and all of these puzzle pieces seeing seeing how they fit together figuring out what the most logical and realistic answer is and trying to get somewhere in terms of solving your problem and the reason I give that example ex Le is enchantment is the same thing right you don't ever want the enchantment to be all of One Clue you don't ever want the mystery to be all of One Clue because all of One Clue will only Point into One Direction you want the mystery even of the enchantment to constantly be of uh does she want to be with me or does she not is she into me or is she not uh that's why they have that's why they why do you think we as humans created that little thing that we do where we pick flowers off of um uh off of a stem and say she loves me she loves me not she loves me she loves me not she loves me she loves me not she loves me she loves me not because the mystery the back and forth is so addicting it's it's it's addicting right to not be sure enough to know for sure that is what will get a man thinking of you constantly right that unsure feeling right uh someone said it's a daisy some people use Daisy some people use I don't know what else people would use okay right and it just becomes addicting that is part of the enchantment the addiction the spell right because here's the thing once you have a guy that addicted to the she wants me she wants me not she loves me she loves me not once you have him in that hole it's like a it's like a spiral okay once you have him spiraling down that rabbit hole now you can purposely feed him things and give him things give him different clues that point in different directions I know this sounds like manipulation that's because it is okay you can purposely give him different breadcrumbs that point him in all different directions and then what happens he immediately starts thinking but this clue leads here so it must be this no but this clue is saying the exact opposite thing so it must be this and this clue says the exact opposite thing so and he's just like he just like Cry he's just like I love her so much but I don't know if she loves me I don't know if she's into me I don't know if she wants me I'm just I don't know I don't know I don't know here's the thing though when you have a guy in this spiral of I don't know I don't know I don't know all he can focus on it because he likes you remember that he's interested in you he wants you so all he can focus on is trying to do things to get you to like him that you can be giving him constant responses and clues that are in line with the fact that you like him that way he no longer has to debate because the fact that there are some clues that make it clear to him that you're into him and interested in him and you want him just as much as he wants you right is comforting but if it becomes too comforting it becomes uninteresting and the fact that there are some clues that point in the direction well she's so busy she never texts me well she never wants to you know hang out with me for too long she always cuts her hangout short well you know she's really nice to me and she loves spending iners time but it's not like she wants to see me all the time every time there's another clue in the opposite direction right it makes it painful it makes it frustrating it it leaves that mystery right and that's part of the enchantment is that now you can decide that hey I want to elicit this response from him today I want to elicit this response from him today I want to elicit that response from him today okay and because he's literally at your mercy trying to figure out what does she want today what does she think today what does she feel today right you're literally able to just pull every string pull every emotion get anything you want get any piece of information that you want out of him and he can't realize it because all of his attention is focused on does she love me today or does she not she loves me she loves me not she loves me she loves me not okay and it's the back and forth and listen there's a balance to this and it doesn't have to be so extreme right it can even happen in small doses that can still be healthy for those of you that think oh well it's unhealthy to do this to your partner it's unhealthy to give them that back and forth it's it's unhealthy to give them that uncertainty well to that I'll say go watch my last live stream and go all the way to the end where we have a uh Discord discussion and someone sends in their question about the Discord from a it's a woman sending in their question about a Discord her name was France if you guys didn't see France's Discord uh question yesterday you'll understand why too much um Security in a relationship where you don't feel like there's anything to concern yourself with as it relates to the other person can actually work against you okay and it doesn't even have to mean that you make the person feel like you'll cheat on them or anything like that but the idea that you feel like your partner will let never leave you for any reason in any way shape or form can actually be dangerous and the reason I bring out France from yesterday is because France was suffering from that which is why she ended up cheating on her partner telling her partner and then her partner said I'll still be with with you anyways and she told her partner no actually I need a break I don't even know if I actually want this relationship and they were together for 10 years a decade they were together and she found a new guy that she wanted and she liked more and she felt more of a rush with she cheated on him with that guy right and that guy and she said that she even knew that that guy didn't want a relationship she knew that guy was a player she knew that she wasn't going to build anything real with that guy but she couldn't help herself okay and the reason I bring up that example is not to dis France we're all human we all make mistakes okay I including myself I'm not a perfect person okay so the reason I bring that up is because if you're one of those people that feel like but this is wrong of me to do I shouldn't do this I should always present myself and be as open and honest with all of my feelings so if I super love a person I'm super into that I should just Express that feel freely I should never try and play any games I should never try and give them any uncertainty I should never try to make them feel like um you know they have to compete for my attention I should never try to make them feel any negative emotion only try to make my partner feel positivity never try to make them feel like they have to chase after me or pursue me or anything like that right cool you can do that but just understand right when you give people too much of anything is a bad thing when you give people too much security sometimes I won't I won't say every time but some sometimes it leads to discontent because your partner begins to feel like there is nothing left to work for and their security turns into discontent because they feel like they don't even have to do anything in order to earn your love I told this to France yesterday maybe France is listening now maybe she just used a different name I know you guys try to be slick maybe France is listening now maybe she's not but nevertheless I said this to France yesterday I know that the only reason France did that was simply because deep in the deepest darkest recessions of her mind she subconsciously in the span of a decade growing and learning this person she knew that if she were to do this before she ever did it that her man was likely to forgive her which is why or that she could get her man to forgive her which which is why she even did it in the first place okay and the only reason I say that is because that's a perfect example of how that extreme security over a 10-year period can lead to discontent in a partner if you're not careful and you don't feel like that partner has to work for your love anymore okay so enchantment is very important uh Embry said does this apply to married couples well to if you go back back and you rewatch that live stream yesterday and you rewatch that uh Discord discussion that question that she sent in you'll see in her question she states that they've been together for 10 years and they had been engaged for 3 years so that's about as close to being married as you can possibly get so I guess my answer to your question simply is yes it does okay um I think everything that I talk about here can be applied to uh marriages as well obviously it's going to be a slightly different if it's a marriage versus if you're first meeting someone but I don't think there's ever a point where you want to stop doing things that will allow your partner to continue Desiring you and I don't think that all of the things you do to help your partner continue Desiring you have to necessarily be toxic okay you can be busy because you're genuinely busy you cannot be a texaholic because you genuinely have better things to do with your time and you actually have other passions and hobbies and interests that take up your brain space and time and energy outside of just sitting on your couch and texting your partner away for uh the entire day okay that doesn't have to be a toxic thing but it can still allow your partner to continue Desiring you and pursuing you because they want you want your attention and Want Your Love okay so mystery was number one enchantment was number two I just talked about desire desire is number three okay so how to force men to chase you all the to sorry to think about you all the time you need to understand that much like I gave in the example when it led to the big black box and the aaor in one hand and the big black box in the other hand right we as human beings we want what we cannot have okay that's just a if you want if you study psychology you should know that if you been a human being on this Earth You should understand that concept that naturally we gravitate towards wanting and Desiring the things that we cannot have right the things that we cannot have no matter how small or big are always the things that take up most of our attention time and energy okay why simply because you can't desire something that you already have full access to it's impossible okay the moment you get that thing you stop Desiring it I'll give you an example and this is very unrelated to relationships okay for example have you ever noticed and you guys can answer me in the chat have you ever noticed that it's only the richest of the rich people that will tell you how little money matters and how how money is so unimportant and how money will never buy you happiness and never give you any more happiness and you'll never be any more happy if you have any more money and you sit there to yourself and you think to yourself and you're like I'm pretty sure if I had a million dollar right now I'd be quite a bit more more happier than I am right now so in that sense uh yeah actually money can increase happiness and you think to yourself how come all of the billionaires talk about how little money matters and how little money affects happiness okay and I know you're probably like what does this have anything to do with relationships the reason I asked that question and give that example is because it's the same thing in terms of desire right because a billionaire has little to no desire for more money why because they have more money how can I as a billionaire have the intrinsic motivation to Chase and desire more money to the point where I feel like it will actually make me a happier person if I already have more money now that doesn't mean that billionaires don't actively seek out more money but they stop getting the feeling of satisfaction and fulfillment from getting more money it just becomes a part of their life and so the idea of getting more money is not necessarily more exciting to them it doesn't necessarily fulfill them any more than they were feeling fulfilled before that right their desires shift into the places of the things that they don't already have okay your desire s will always be right and I just gave that example of money and and billionaires okay but your desire will always be in the places of the things that you don't have enough of or at all you're never going to truly be able to desire the things that you already have in totality in totality in fullness okay okay so and the reason I bring that up is because if you want to force a man to think of you all the time you have to understand how desire Works desire can't be in a place where uh everything that he could ever want as it relates to you is already existing there has to be things left to desire okay I I know that might be confusing to some of you because you be like how can I be in a relationship with someone and they still desire me well see that is that is the magical question right how can you be in a romantic relationship with someone and still have them Desiring you in an ongoing fashion that never stops you want to be like Netflix okay right you don't want to be like a used car something they purchase once they they use it for a little bit and then they throw it away and get a new car right you want to be like a Netflix subscription where every month he is continuing to desire you over and over and over again however if you're going to do that you have to be cognizant Cognizant just means understanding of the fact that you're going to have to actively do things to increase and maintain your desirability if you really want him to think about you all the time okay cuz if he's thinking about you all the time he's obsessed with you if he's obsessed with you he desires you if he desires you then you're doing things to earn that desire okay the same way I I say you only get the respect in this world that you uh that you demand is the same way you only get the desire in this world that you work for so if you do not work for to be more desirable you will not be more desire that makes any sense now the great part about increasing desire as a woman for a man is that it doesn't actually require you to do anything more for the man that's the craziest part about desire if you want him to think about you all the time and he's actually interested in you and you and you want him to just be thinking about you 24/7 the craziest part about increasing your desirability is everything that you would do to make yourself more desirable would actually be investing into you more okay I know you're probably like what what are you even talking about for example right you're more desirable if you're more beautiful you're more fit you're in shape obviously okay let's not be silly now if you're more beautiful you're more in shape you're you're that makes you more desirable what do you have to do to be more beautiful or to be seen as uh more attractive uh physically attractive you go to the gym but in reality going to the gym is investing in yourself it's not it's not about doing more things for the guys you're actually investing in yourself and the fact that you invest in yourself that makes you more desirable to the men the same way okay if you take care of your skin you're investing in yourself but you become more desirable to the men if you have other passions or Hobbies right you're investing that takes up your time and energy you're investing in yourself but now all of a sudden the men want to chase you around because they don't get enough of your time and attention and they want to show you how they can be the man for you and they want to show you that they can take you out on dates and woo you and wow you and get you to pay attention to them and be with them because you're so focused on something else that they feel the need to pursue you and chase after you you understand what I'm saying everything about increasing your desirability is really about investing more into yourself that's why it's such an amazing concept it's such an amazing because a lot of times you think oh making myself more desirable is really about getting on my hands and knees and doing more for him it's not okay and it's never been truthfully the men only desire women who are not focusing all their time and attention on them they desire all the women who are actively focusing all their attention and time on someone or something else as stupid and silly as that sounds it's the same reason why the man that you like and love and chase after and pursue and are begging to go on dates with you is sitting there on his phone liking IG models pictures and commenting on their profiles and posting them on on his story and you know uh saving them to his phone right it's the same thing it's the same reason why the man that you like is whacking off to of models and sending them a whole bunch of money and he can't even take you out for a nice dinner right it's because desire for men as crazy as it sounds they desire the women who are investing into themselves and not the women who are begging right for their attention I know that that's not what you probably wanted to hear me say but actually it's a good thing because all it means is that the more you focus on self-care the more desirable you become to the men so it's like a win-win literally a winwin that's why vice versa it also becomes a lose lose when you're focusing all your time and energy right on how to get him to pay attention to you how to get him to want you and you're trying to do everything under the sun to get him to want you and you're and you're abandoning all your self-care your self-love doing anything for yourself to try to be everything that he needs you to be only to end up in a position where he wants you less because all of your focus time and energy is spent on him and trying to be everything you need to be for him instead of investing in yourself when in reality if you wanted the result of him Desiring you and pursuing you and chasing after you all you had to do was take a step back and focus that time and attention on yourself and then he would say damn you look good girl I want you damn you taking care of yourself girl I want too busy for me girl I I'm trying to see you more I'm trying to go out with you when you free girl I'm trying to take you out on the DAT I'm trying to spend some time with you I'm trying to this and that with you right all of that stems from right all of that stems from the fact that you were investing in yourself and that's where the desire comes from and that desire is one of the main ways that you're going going to force him to think about you as his desire increases for you so does his thought power and brain power towards you all right uh Samson Knight says uh congratulate France once again for finally finding the confidence to start looking at other men uh after that mental prison of 10 years uh that is a joke to get engaged 3 years long uh after 7 years she did right well here's the thing Samsonite if we go back to um uh if we go back to uh France's uh question that was in yesterday's chat you'll see that in France's question from yesterday's chat uh we didn't we don't quite know yet what it was maybe France might do a follow-up if you can friends and you're listening do a follow-up we don't know why it was that they were engaged for 3 years so it might be him it also might be her it might be a combination of both of them or a situation or a circumstance that was making them kind of be engaged for uh 3 months so we're not quite sure okay so is that does that make sense to you guys so far we had mystery number one we had enchantment number two and we had desire that was number three okay are you guys following along so far we have so many beautiful people in the YouTube chat as well we got like a record number of people okay so I want to make sure we're all on the same page okay Sharice says yes Rosie says yes okay I'm glad you guys are following along right so desire was number three number four we have scarcity now if you want a man to be thinking of you all the time I'm sorry to tell you you cannot be around all the time look me in my eyes if you want a man to think of you all the time you cannot be around all the time he cannot miss you if you're actively here okay it's impossible now that doesn't mean literally purposely turn down hanging out with him or going out on a date with him so that he can uh you know you can create more scarcity and so that uh you can force him to think about you more that's not what I'm saying what I'm saying is if you want him to desire sorry if you want scarcity to be happening so that he can think of you all the time then you need to be making sure that the only times he gets access to you are in the high quality versions and we'll talk about quality literally next the high quality versions of you that are going to enchant him and make him feel that Rush of Sensation that spending time with you is the most amazing experience he could possibly have right and I want that to be his only experience of you and I want those and obviously if those experien are coming in such high quality forms but for such short period of time that's going to create scarcity scarcity is good in the business world right the whole business world is predicated on uh demand and Supply which is Supply sorry demand just means the amount of scarcity or lack of scarcity versus how much uh people want your product versus how much uh people uh uh have access to your product right so when you have scarcity but you're coming in such high quality forms meaning iners dates when he spends time with you he feels good you guys laugh you guys enjoy your time you guys have such in um interesting conversation he's invested he gets to talk about himself he gets to uh uh uh have a good time with you he laughs you guys you guys tell jokes like all all of this positive experiences with you and around you when you spend time in person however when you're not in person you're scarce to him okay this is where the key comes in and this is the part that I know most of you won't want to hear so probably plug your ears okay you're going to have to be scarce on this I know you hate that I know that you hate that you're going to have to be scarce to him on this you're not going to be a texaholic and have him thinking about you all the time you want to know why because every time you're texting him all throughout the day it feels like to him like he's spending time with you the problem with that is he's not actually spending real time with you but it's coming in a very lowquality form where he doesn't actually feel like you're scarce to him what it feels more like is that he speaks to you and sees you 24/7 how can you possibly be scarce if he feels you sorry if he sees you and speaks to you 247 you can't possibly be scarce so how are you possibly going to manage supply and demand how are you possibly going to get a guy to think about you who never has the space to miss you okay because I know it sounds counterintuitive you're thinking well if he's texting me all the time he'll be thinking about me no he won't be thinking about you in the way that actually increases his desire for you and increases his uh uh yearning to be with you and spend time with you and and and want to be around you right you're actually going to have him thinking of you in ways where he's like well I text her 24/7 so I speak to her 24/7 so there's never an off period so if there's never an off period think about would you be able to miss someone if you spent 24 hours a day next to them no actually you'd get sick of them after a while okay if you spent all 24 hours of a day just in the same place in the same room with someone okay you wouldn't be able to miss them until they are gone until they are scarce now like I said there's a balance and it doesn't mean that you have to not see him or purposely not hang out with him or anything like that all you have to do is make sure that the lowquality forms of spending time with you or being around you are the times where you are the most scarce because those low quality forms of communication and getting to know you and spending time with you are only going to serve to your detriment right Ambry says wow you need a lot of self-control not texting right I I know and maybe one day I talk so much about texting maybe one day we'll do a whole a whole show exactly on texting etiquette to get a guy you know to really be interested in you if you guys want that let me know okay right because there's a specific etiquette that you can use to be scarce while still being interesting enough that he continues to want to get to know you and take you out on dates cuz remember remember remember remember you want to get him to think of you all the time why do you want him to get you get him to think of you all the time because you want this this guy to like you you want this guy to love you you want this guy to be interested in you you want this guy to pursue you you want this guy to chase after you okay you're trying to build a relationship with him right which means you got to go out on dates you got to spend in-person time together okay so it's not necessary for you to be doing things that make it easier for him to not want to spend time with you okay I know you think texting actually texting him more will make him want to spend more time with you but it actually does the opposite right it makes you less scarce to him that he doesn't feel that void of not being around you and not speaking to you that he actually feels the need to see you in person Rosie says what if it's long distance it's the same thing right obviously you're not going to approach it the exact same way but I want you to think if you were in a long-distance relationship and you truly rarely got the chance to speak to that person over the phone what would you be forced to do if you wanted to continue that long-distance relationship you would be forced to make a plan to go see that person in person it would you would be forced because if you didn't do that there would be no other option of communication this is and and this is the thing I everyone's long some people's long distance relationship is different but I want you to understand that's the mistake M that a lot of people are even making even in the longest relationship or even in the short distance relationship right is that they don't realize especially you as women you don't realize how that constant communication over the phone can actually kill his desire to feel motivated that hey if I don't see her in person I don't get access to her if I don't see her in person I don't get to see her I don't get to speak to her and so the only other possible option option if he wants to see you and spend time with you is to plan a date and see you in person and you know who that serves in that scenario that serves you you win you win you see how you win when you're scarce you win that's why my thumbnail on YouTube says mystery wins you win when you're scarce when you're mysterious you win you get all the benefit because what does he do when you're scarce he pursues you more right he chases after you more you are scarce to him so he's trying to make you UNS scarce he's trying to ease his anxiety and spend more time with you not less time with you if you're available all the time think about this think about this this is what I wants you to take away if you're available with him all the time the only place or thought left for him to have is that he would like to spend less time with you that's the only Poss there's no possible way if you spend all your time talking to him and with him right if you're never scarce to him there's no possible way he could ever think to himself I want to spend more time with her he can only think to himself I want to spend less time with her right um and so this isn't a hard concept to implement Ivy says uh uh it's exhausting right uh here's the thing right is that it doesn't have to be exhausting all you have to do is put down the cell phone it's actually not a difficult concept you'll be happier because of it and he'll be happier because he'll feel motivated to actually Chase and pursue after you because he doesn't get you in any other version right and you'll be happier because you'll have a man actually pursuing you as opposed to having a passive texaholic this is part of the this is one of the many reasons why I tell you guys to you should probably ditch the dating apps I can't tell you what to do with your life but if you want better results I tell you guys probably want to Dish the dating apps because on those dating apps you meet a bunch of texaholic men who know how to be the best texter and the most interesting texter but for a lot of them they're quite unmotivated to pursue you in terms of going out on dates spending real time together building a connection they just want to be a texaholic maniac and then see you when it's time to receive Squirtle pointless for you and what you're trying to accomplish okay so scarcity is number four number one was mystery number two was enchantment number three was desire number four was scarcity number five we have quality you need to understand the same way how we just talked about uh scarcity and we talked about supply and demand the same way it is in a business right it's just the same concept you want to make sure that your quality is coming in very high dosages I know I just brought this up with the texting you want to make sure that you're not giving him low quality versions of yourself meaning over text there's no conversation there's no heart to heart there's no anything that you can have over text that is really meaningful other than communicating information that is important in terms of scheduling the next time you're going to actually see each other that's my advice to you we'll talk about texting etiquette in another show but my honest advice to you is to use your phone as a scheduling tool when it comes to your relationships do not use your phone as a crutch to get to know people okay you will be giving this man such lowquality versions of yourself that he will not have the time or the space to ever think about you or miss you or be anxious about you right okay because even if you didn't have a cell phone right let's say you literally just didn't have a cell phone he would be anxious thinking about what it is you want thinking about when the next time he's going to see you when next time he's going to talk to you the next time he's going to speak to you right and that's a good thing Jen says is is the same with FaceTime and phone calls the thing that I say to FaceTime and phone calls is it is better than texting okay so it's not the worst thing in the world that's my thing about phone calls however you don't want to get caught in the cycle of fulfilling his desire to see you and speak to you over text sorry overall and FaceTime that he no longer has the desire to actually spend real inperson time with you okay just keep that in mind right because if he gets so accustomed to just being able to pick up his phone and call you every day well it kind of kills that desire and that anticipation to say to himself I want a plan to see her on an actual date and I want to anticipate the fact that we're actually going to go out on this date right that anticipation is also doing what forcing him to think about you more okay if he has nothing to anticipate because you're always there all the time in all these lowquality forms while you're killing his ability to really think about you in a way that grows his desire for you that grows his ability to want to pursue you that grows his ability to like you and love you and be interested and intrigued by you right uh Venus says is it possible to recapture his attention by pulling back if you previously too available 100% it's possible now that comes right at a cost because in some instances you might realize when you pull back that you were the one doing a lot of the pursuing and if it wasn't for you doing the pursuing that he wasn't really that interested in in you in the first place I'm not saying that that's your particular um uh a situation Venus I just want you to understand for all the rest of you that that is also a possibility for some of you you're doing so much of the pursuing without even realizing it that by the time you do try and pull back and reverse the damage that's been done you realize that if it wasn't for you pursuing or reaching out you would guys would have never talked and that can be a painful realization I just want you to be prepared that that is a possibility for some of you okay so mystery was number one enchantment was number two desire was number three scarcity number four number five we had quality okay and number six we have denial okay I want you to understand this men love no they love it they also I know it makes no sense men love no when no feels like yes stay with me stay with me don't let me lose you no is good no is even better when no feels like yes why goes back to the mystery it's confusing that confusion makes you debate with yourself which one is it is it no that means no or no that means yes is it no that means no or no that means yes and what happens they're forced to think about you analyze everything that you said every word every text every phone call every FaceTime every meeting every piece of body language every blink every squint every twitch every everything in order to determine does no mean no or no mean yes think of it as playing hard to get okay right and I know you might think well I'm playing hard to get that's just annoying that's just frustrating he's not going to be interested in that that's one of those things that guys I'll tell I'll be the first one to tell you everyone caps okay if you don't know what cat means just lies everyone lies okay everyone lies about what they want from a a person or or partner okay we all do this thing this is everyone we all do this thing where we say I don't like like this I don't like when guys do this or I don't like when girls do that or I don't like when people do this in reality when people do that they get the best response from us it's not something we can actively control okay what I mean by that is this is one of those things for guys we say I don't want a girl that plays hard to get yo that's just annoying yo that's just frustrating yo I'm not yo these girls playing hard to get they think they big and bad yo I got time for that yo I'm not I'm not I'm not into that yo if she trying to play hard to get yo it's not I don't got time yo I'm too busy for I'm I'm the I'm the man I'm not I'm not interested no girl playing hard to get and so what does that do you think that the best way to get him to be interested in you is by being oh I like you so much and I want to spend all my time with you and I and I'll be available to you 24/7 just like you said you don't you don't want me to play hard to get so I won't play hard to get at all I'll actually make it as easy as I possibly can for you and then what does he go what what happens what's the response you you get from him he goes H you'll be available all the time h quite uninteresting I think I'll go chase after a girl that doesn't want me and and you're sitting there like an idiot you're like what what I I thought you I I thought you said that you want I thought you said that you wanted you didn't like girls that play hard to get what happened I I played easy to get what why don't why don't you want me now why don't you want me any and you look like an idiot why because guys are lying they're lying they're lying they don't actually want a girl who's easy to get they want the girl who's hard to get it's just frustrating and they don't like the frustration but they actually do like the frustration this is why I say there are no positive or negative emotions in reality they're just emotions but what they feel like is a negative experience in terms of the frustration they feel when you're playing to get or when you give them the no that feels like a yes and they're not sure and it's just all ah I'm annoyed I'm frustrated just give me an answer just be straightforward with me right in reality the frustration they love because it's addicting right the frustration forces you to think about someone it forces them to be on your mind so what they really mean when they say they don't like a girl that plays hard to get when they don't like a girl that won't just be straight up or you know be blunt with them what they really mean is they hate the fact that when they have too much mystery surrounding a girl when they don't know where she where she stands or where he stands with her they're forced to think about her so much that it becomes annoying and frustrating how much that girl will be on their mind they want to be at peace with themselves in their own mind that they don't have to be thinking about you all the time that's the frustration they're talking about and that's the frustration they don't like they're frustrated with the fact they cannot turn the switch off right by responding in a different way when they get that when they receive that from a woman so when they receive that denial that know that feels like a yes that they're not sure and they have to debate with themselves they're forced to bring out it forces them to bring out a response in them that makes them think oh but what does she want what does she think what is this what is that and that like ah I hate this I can't do this anymore and so that's why they're like I don't want to grow that place hard to get because they're frustrated with the fact they cannot control that response right this is why I say the better you understand why people react to certain things and what they react to you can elicit that response in people regardless of what they feel or what they want right because if a girl gives me nose that feels like yeses and this could be in any capacity if a girl is denying me in a way that doesn't feel like a total denial it feels like she's just cracking the door just an open just open enough that if I try really hard I'll get to it it forces me to debate with myself should I do it should I not does she want me does she not does she this does she not and all of that debate is taking up brain space in my mind and I'm forced to think about you there is no choice but to think about you and the only way to stop thinking about you is to completely detach s from you and the relationship so as long as you play that denial right where you give the NOS that feel like yeses right you continue to tote that line where he continues to have to think about you if he's interested in you uh Sabi sabski says can you give example about the no okay so for example a no that feels like a yes could be something as simple as him now you obviously know how I feel about giving away your Squirtle on the first date but an example of a no that feels like a yes could be you telling him how you're not interested in uh hooking up with anyone but you do find him very physically attractive see even if let's listen to me listen to me listen to me cuz I'm not saying go out and actually hook up with him but even if you have no intention of hooking up with him that becomes an ADD where he feels like if he just tries hard enough he can actually get you to be physically intimate with him even if you know you never plan on being physically intimate with him what happens is he becomes addicted and frustrated with the fact that he feels like I don't feel like she actually meant that she doesn't want to be intimate with me I feel like she actually meant I just have to try harder right open all doors said it so perfectly just now please pinned that she said they do they want to be able to feel like they can convince you they want to be able to convince you and that denial that that no that feels like a yes feels like oh you just want to be convinced and so what do they do they do the most to try and convince you okay okay I'll give you an even better example for let's put make it as simple as you possibly can it's as simple as a guy saying yo let's say you you and you and a guy are at a party you guys are flirting back and forth right and let's say um you guys have uh met through some mutual friends before so maybe you know of him you you guys just don't know each other well and he's talking to you and he's kind of like trying to be slick trying to be sve he's like girl you know you into me like yo I be seeing how you be looking at me and how you be wanting me and this and that why you trying to hide it yo you always trying to be too cool for school like I know you be looking at me I know you be talking about me I know you into me and then you're sitting there like I I really like I don't even notice you like I I barely noticed you I only talk to you because you're the friend of my other friend honestly like I haven't I haven't thought of you except for this one time you did some weird thing but other than that like I don't really think about you I don't really care about you but you're saying it in a way that feels like but you wouldn't be here talking to me like this going back and forth with me if you weren't actually interested in me this is what's this is what he's saying in his mind so he's saying I I hear what you're saying and I hear the words that are coming out of your mouth but your body language and everything that you're communicating to me non-verbally makes me feel like you're actually kind of interested in me but you're not saying it and so what happens is be is he begins hyper analyzing everything that you're saying and doing trying to justify well you're saying words that don't make me feel like how I'm feeling on the inside so I'm trying to decipher what do the words mean versus what does the feeling mean because if you truly were uninterested in me why are you laughing and giggling and telling jokes with me like you're interested in me but you're saying you're not interested in me but you wouldn't be laughing and giggling and telling jokes with me and being here talking to me for 30 minutes in this party where you could be talking to anyone else if you weren't interested in me this is quite confusing I'm your no feels like it means yes right and this is how you get a guy to be thinking about you all the time the no that feels like a yes is confusing but the confusion that leads to frustration is actually what will help him think about you all the time if he has no frustration right no no confusion there is no line to toe there is no she loves me she loves me not she loves me she loves me not it's just she loves me so then what's the point of the of the game of the she loves me she loves me not what's the point of picking the flowers she loves me she loves me not if you know she loves me especially at the beginning okay cuz I know most of you want this information in order to understand how to get these guys super interested in you and pursuing you in the span of the beginning of a relationship right especially at the beginning this is one this is the most powerful right are you guys following what I'm saying so far Jen says mixed signals exactly exactly okay is that making sense to you guys so far right uh Anna says how how should you interact with their socials and IG don't I would advise you to not okay if he's already interested in you or you feel like he's already intrigued in you there's no reason to do that all you're doing is making it more clear that you're more interested in him okay the moment you sense that a guy is interested in you work is done work is done all you need to do now is keep the mystery going that you can continue to be a fantasy to him stop trying to do more thinking that doing more will make him like you more no all you're doing is killing the fantasy and the Mystery when you do more okay do just enough right right once you realize that he's interested in you and he wants you stop stop stop everything else okay let him do the rest of the work I seen someone ask that question I think it was yesterday or the day or um on the Friday in the in the Discord uh where she was like oh this guy likes me and he took me out on a date or he invited me to a couple places and he comes to my work and he compliments me what should I do now and I was like literally do nothing literally do nothing he knows where you work he knows where to find you he knows that if he wants to access you he's got your number or he can invite you places he can take you out to places if he wants to you don't need to do anything more clearly he's showing interested interest in you so just stay where you are don't don't let your water break don't get all confuzzled that you feel like you got to start going and doing stuff and saying stuff and no stay where you are let him pursue you continuously okay because the moment you get all confuzzled and you start saying well he likes me but he's not liking me enough so I've got to do more to make him like me more no no no no no no no no stop it by girl stop it stay there you don't do that okay stay where you are let him continue pursuing you don't don't do anything okay so very important mystery was number one enchantment number two desire number three scarcity number four five was quality number six was den nowal and number seven is tease now very obviously tease goes into Den now the no that feels like a yes part of enchanting him is teasing him like really put I know that it sounds easy in theory because we're talking and you're not in love with me well maybe some of you are in love with me but most of you aren't in love with me so it's easy when we're talking about this in theory right now but I really want you to take these Concepts and think about how you approach the guys that you're into like you that you're actually into and figure out the ways you can tease those man and it doesn't always have to be teased like you're rubbing your Squirtle against him no you can tease him in emotional ways that just make him feel like he's a rabbit chasing a carrot and it's like he's a rabbit and it's like oh my God the carrots dangling right in front of him and if he could just reach out and oh but the carrot it moved I was so close and it's like he reaches and he stretches and if he just get the when the carrots gone again where did it goes and it's a vicious cycle right you want to be teasing not just his lower extremities I literally mean teasing his mind just give him just enough that he feels like oh I think she's into me I think she wants me I think what no I don't I don't think she wants me anymore I just she's she's just doing things she's not she's not interested she's not talking to me as much she's not as Smiley she's not as giggly she doesn't call me right it's a vicious cycle Ivy says uh that's too much work that's fine if you feel like that's too much work but then don't be wondering why the men in your life that you want don't desire you and don't pursue you okay you can be guys guys remember I'm not here to tell you how you should live your life but if you want to see some different results I can give you some advice on how to see some different results if you don't think that my advice makes any sense or you don't want to do any of those things or make any changes keep doing what you've been doing keep seeing the same results you've been seeing that's perfectly fine with me doesn't affect my life whatsoever okay now when it comes to teasing like I said it's not just about rubbing your Squirtle against him that's not what it's all about teasing is really about the emotional back and forth think about what it feel if you've ever been in a really good what's the word I'm like like flirt session where you meet someone and you feel like you're definitely flirting with each other but you're not talking about anything asexual okay and but you're def in your mind you're like we're literally talking about the uh the the fish in the fish aisle right now I met someone at the grocery store we're talking about the fish in the fish a but I know that we're flirting with each other like I know I can feel it in my heart that we're flirting with each other I'm at a bookstore and we're talking about different books and I know in my heart and in my mind that we're flirting with each other okay have any of you ever been in a situation like that where you're you're somewhere you know it could be somewhere random and you're talking about something totally unrelated to being romantic or being intimate or relationships and you're like I know for a fact we are flirting right now I can bet my bottom dollar you're flirting with me and I'm fling with you we're just not talking about it but I know that it's happening and I can feel it happening in my Squirtle and in my mind okay right Daydream says you can tell when someone's into you right YOLO says yes Sarah says yes as well right and so that feeling is what I want you to embody this is part of your enchantment right give him that that same feeling that you that you know I know that you're flirting with me you're just not saying it and the fact that they're not saying it is actually what makes it even more interesting and exciting I want you to focus on giving those men that feeling where you're like where he's saying where you you know that what you're communicating to him right outside of three-dimensional space and outside of the words that you're saying what you're communicating to him is making him feel like uh I know that I feel like she's into me but I feel like if I say that then I'm I'm probably just an idiot there's no way she's into me no she's probably not into me is she into me no oh no she can't be into me right and he's like walking home after he meets you in the bookstore and he's thinking to himself did we just flirt no no we were just talking about books but she is so cute I wonder if she knows that I like her right it's a vicious cycle they just spiral and spiral and spiral and it's perfect for you okay perfect for you because remember mystery wins mystery wins if you want him to think of you all the time you need to stay mysterious and be strategic about how you present yourself and your approach if you do that that man will be thinking about you 24/7 365 trying to figure out what it is you want with him and how it is you feel about him okay star of leg said Give an example I kind of just gave an example of how it would feel to flirt with someone at a book store but you know you're talking about books but you know that you guys are actually flirting not really talking about books right it's that same uh concept and when you're talking about teasing someone emotionally so vice versa right when you're meeting someone figure out how in the process of you flirting or meeting this person when you're around each other how can you give them that feeling like I feel like you're into me but I'm not sure I just don't know for sure because you're not saying it this is why like you want to be focused on saying as little about how you actually feel especially if you like someone I want you to the last thing you should do if you actually really like someone especially at the very beginning is telling them how much you like them I want you to refrain from that and focus on giving them the feeling that you like them without ever saying it that is my direct advice to you and my direct example for you okay because that feeling is not concrete enough that that person can guarantee to themselves oh I know you're into me and the fact that they have to question that is a tease in itself that they feel like oh but it it's there and I know it's there and I feel it being there but I just can't confirm it but the fact I can't confirm it makes me not 100% sure of its existence and that's the amazing part about this is that by the time his wheels are spinning and he's going back and forth being like is this true is this not is this real is this not is this a feeling is this reality he's already in your firm grip thinking about you all the damn time okay does that make sense what we discussed today or are you guys confused about anything before we head into the Discord by the way for those of you who are new here if you're brand new here I know some of you are new I know some of you are um very new on YouTube some of you might be new on Tik Tok uh before the show ends we do uh something very special on Discord where we answer a whole bunch of personal questions and situations so please make sure you stay for that because trust me it gets juicy on Discord Discord gets crazy so uh before we get to the Discord though I just want to make sure that I answer everyone's question and um everyone uh is of the same understanding of what we discussed here today okay right uh Ella says small summary I came halfway through uh so we talked about how to force men to think of you all the time we talk about mystery was number one enchantment desire uh scarcity uh quality denal and the teas it won't make much sense to you if unless you watch it in its entirety though so I recommend you go on my YouTube you can find the entire live stream there okay right for those of you who missed the live stream you can go find it on YouTube all right uh how long should the mystery last mystery is forever guys mystery is not like and and this is why I say you can do Mystery in a healthy way where you just have enough mystery to your to uh your as a partner that your partner continues to want to know more about you think about it do if you're truly in a relationship that lasts a lifetime are you do you think that a healthy version of that relationship is a point where you ever get bored of knowing more about the person and so if you ever if you in a relationship where you're supposed to never get bored of the person that means there's always more that you want to know about them there's always more that's interesting about them there's always more that you find fascinating about them and so the mystery should never have to end okay the mystery never has to end and it shouldn't it shouldn't end okay Lydia says really great information took notes on everything thank you thank you for for listening I appreciate you right uh Kamar says I love that name uh Kamar says if I may add this only uh clicks if the man is highly interested and attracted to you well yes right obviously this is going to be difficult to force a man to think of you all the time who's a complete stranger to you right so there obviously has to be a level of attraction but remember desire is also created by how much you invest in yourself so you can attract a lot more men and a lot higher quantities by investing in yourself as well so they kind of all work together um Madison in the YouTube chat says sometimes I feel like when I'm being love bombed I mistake it for being casually flirty uh how do how do I differentiate well I feel like matter listen being love bombed feels a more intense than a casual flirt right um being love bomb will feel more um what's the word in I don't want to say inyour face but intense in the sense of like when you're being love bum you'll feel like it's over the top that was the word I'm looking for it'll feel more over the top it'll also feel less genuine if that makes any sense talking about books at a bookstore right but knowing that you feel like you guys are actually casually flirting in the process of talking about books at a bookstore that's a very different feeling than someone coming out and cuz love bombing is like they come out and tell you you're the most amazing beautiful person I've ever met in my life and I've only known you for one day but I know that I want to marry you for the rest of my life and spend the rest of my life with you that's love bombing right like and so those are two totally different feelings because one is overwhelming and doesn't even make logical sense or seem genuine and then the other one is more casual and doesn't feel um as intense right like it doesn't feel unnatural so that's why you have to kind of be tapped into your um intuition where you can actually feel like okay this feels genuine right this doesn't feel like you're being over the top remember I said love bombing the perfect example of Love bombing is like when someone comes up to you on the street and they say oh my God you have such amazing feet your your feet are so succulent and they're so kissable they're so suckable your toes are so nice your finger your uh your toenails are painted so well you just have the most symmetrical prettiest feet in the world and then you're like this you're like hey um I'm actually wearing shoes so it's great that you're so obsessed with my feet but it doesn't make any sense because you can't even see my feet right that's kind of what love bombing feels like as an analogy right it doesn't make any sense because you wouldn't even actually be able to know any of these things about me right um nasia uh I think it says nasia NAIA says isn't cheating Etc categorized as playing games I heard men don't like it when women play games naaya you probably weren't here when we talked about it earlier a lot of people say a lot of things okay men will also tell you I don't like girls that play hard to get I don't like girls that play games I don't like girls that this I don't like girls that tease it's so annoying it's so frustrating I don't have time for that let them yap yap yap yap yap their mouth away cuz the reality of it is the girls that come out and say oh I like you so much I want to spend so much time with you I want to be with you forever more I want to I want to spend my whole life with you all they think to themselves is wow quite uninteresting and boring I'm going to go talk to someone else that's all they do okay the truth of the matter is people lie people also lie about what they want or how they'll respond to things right they're frustrated because they can't control the response that they give when a girl gives them nose that feel like yeses and they're not sure and they play hard to get right because they're so unsure all they can do is think about that girl all the time and that becomes frustrating to them so that's annoying and they don't want that feeling cuz they can't control that response but in reality they give you the response that you want from them if you play hard to get don't listen to what men don't listen to that don't listen that's that's garbage okay they're just they're just yapping because they want you right to put all your cards on the table that they don't have to do any guessing or work for your time and attention and it can be very easy for them okay notice that the girls that are the easiest to men they don't seem to care about just doesn't work like that right uh Adriana says why did he ask for my number he says uh he called it's been six days so uh Adriana if you have a personal situation going on that you want answered please go into the Discord which we're about to hop in right now and ask your question and I will answer it live on the stream okay it's Discord time it's Discord time it's Discord time it's Discord time it's Discord time it's Discord time it's Discord time okay it's Discord time let's go it's Discord time let's step over into the Discord where we shall answer some amazing Discord questions it's always Wild every single day um yesterday we we had Asia I think it was on Friday um then we had uh France which was yesterday uh this someone says Discord a video you shall see here momentarily what Discord is Discord is a platform in which all of you beautiful amazing people get to bring your own personal questions to me and I can answer them live on stream and everyone else can also give you their uh thoughts and opinions as well okay so let's step into the Discord where we shall answer some questions so we left off on baby bliss yesterday let's get Holly to start off today so Holly says uh he's so busy a guy that I like is not investing quality time well we've had pineapples right you guys should know what pineapples means uh but it uh was only the dates I like what do you mean by that spending the whole evening with me uh cooking me dinner drinks music good conversation really connecting those make me happy and I reward for that I like pineapples too he's been doing all the pursuing good good good good good okay um but the last few weekends uh let's see here the last few weekends he's been busy and has asked if I'm free on a weekday night and literally said quality time can be dinner and a kiss and see you later Am I Wrong to be offended uh he means dinner at home not a restaurant so I said no I told him we haven't spent enough quality time to make me comfortable with uh with squeezing in a weeknight Snuggle by the way guys I want you guys to also answer your own two cents in the chat so it's not just me giving my opinion cuz your opinions are also Val valuable as well okay uh so she said squeezing in a weekend uh snuggle as he put in um I don't want to be the fun girl I'm getting manipulated into being a uh Wednesday night hookup girl or the option when it's raining because he works uh outside he wants his weekends for fun with his friends and activities and I'll be there when it's convenient no I want the whole evening experience or nothing at all it's literally the bare minimum and I can't even do that he didn't like I said no and gave me all kinds of resistance am I being difficult and disagreeable um if he's busy every weekend that's great for him I'm happy for him he just won't ever see me I sound like a plan B I can't undo the mistake of giving up pineapples and he will probably disappear but I'm okay with that I'd rather be single and alone if this is what I get from him okay great question Holly uh uh lonely in the in the Tik Tok chat says what does pineapples mean please the rest of the chat I can't say it out on the stream but please the rest of the chat let her know what pineapples means okay if you're new here you probably don't know they'll the rest of the chat will tell you so um Holly um this is a great question and this is quite a situation that you're in so my advice to you is as it relates to this guy you said that he's been doing pursuing so that's good so I think that there has to be some sort of level of interest there assuming he was actually genuine about this this like cooking dinner the drink music you said good conversation so I'm assuming it went deeper than just surface level really connecting if this is all true like this doesn't sound like someone who's completely just trying to play you however I think you're right in the sense that this squeezing in a week night snuggle if he's really talking about just hooking up right it does begin to sound like you know he wants you to be the Wednesday night hookup girl and then the weekends he gets to go out to the club with those boys and have real fun with some other girls which is not good you also don't want to get into the habit of trying to force a man to to uh respect you or sorry force a man to want to spend more time with you or anything like that what you can say okay this will be my advice to you Holly what you can do is present your schedule as if now the only time you really have time to see him is in the weekend okay because what that's going to do is it's going to force him to make a decision either he sees you on the weekend or he doesn't see you at all okay and you can you can do it in a way that doesn't seem offensive or rude you can do it in a way where you say I really do love spending time with you I enjoy us spending quality time together and having fun and enjoying each other's company but my weekday are now so busy you even if you have to make up something I got this going on and I got that going on I really can't do weekends or else I won't get good sleep or anything like that whatever it may be and you make an excuse for why weekdays aren't going to work for you but because your weekends weekdays are so packed your weekends are a lot more fluid and easygoing and relaxed and so if he does want to spend some good time with you if he does miss you if he does enjoy you guys connecting then he can let you know when he has a weekend free that he would want to spend time with you and then from there you leave it up to him to decide am I going to adjust my schedule to see her on weekends or am I going to just abandon this girl uh this relationship in general because I know I only want to see her on the weekday and this that is the best approach I think because you force him to make a decision for himself and whatever decision he does choose to make is because he wanted to make that decision and it's good for both of you because you now know that he made that decision from his own valtion because he wanted to make that decision you also know that if he chooses to not see you and on the week where he's actually free he just wants to do something else you know that he wasn't interested enough in you that he would give up uh having fun on the weekends for being with you because if having fun on the weekends is more important than being with you then that should tell you he doesn't consider it to be fun to spend a weekend with you which tells you that he's not really that interested in you which tells you that he's probably just using you for Squirtle and to be a Wednesday night hookup girl okay right uh right as Becca says what if she's now just a weekend girl well that's the thing you can't necessarily know that in the situation right now but you'll know if his interest is only in being a simple easy hookup because he's trying to talk about oh just kind of seeing each other for an hour we dinner basically we have pineapples and then I'm on my way and she doesn't want that she wants the quality time the conversation the whole evening the dinner the drinks right having a good enjoyable time right together and that can only happen really on the weekends not for an hour on the weekdays and so if he's only going to be invested in this hour on the weekdays then she has to make that not an option for her right and present it as if the only time you can see me is these weekends not for an hour but for a real amount of time and then if he doesn't choose to see you on the weekends right then now you know that he probably wasn't that interested in you enough because he didn't see feel the need to spend time with you on a weekend where he could be doing something else and then you kind of have your answer uh right right then and there so if you think that's being disagreeable then yeah you kind of have to be disagreeable right you you you you don't even have to resist it really all you have to say is look I would love to spend time with you I literally cannot it's outside of my control I can't spend time with you on the weekday so if you want to spend time we can do it on the weekends but also if you want to only spend an hour with me and then go out truthfully I don't like that's a waste of my time right and you can be upfront while still telling him that you would love to spend time with him so there's a balance there I think that's my advice to you okay that was Holly um this one was deleted um okay so M ma m mikaru I think it says mikaru muru or mikeru says hi Tom I need advice um on Sarah Sarah B says where where is the site it's Discord so you go to the link in my Tik Tok or you go if you're on YouTube you go down on my um in the link in the description okay uh it's my personal Discord for everyone there's like 150 people in this Discord she says hi Tom I need an advice please okay uh mitchu says I'm 33 and my boyfriend is 37 we've met in on a dating app a year ago half a year doing good we already talked deep conversation and addressed uh question for early stages of the relationship or sorry for early stages in in the relationship um but it started when we reached 7 to 8 months of dating he started to climb a ladder up at his work and now he's always busy and he and he kind of scheduled our video chats once a week he's a government employee and maybe uh he's really that busy and I understand but we are in a long-distance relationship and we've been uh dating for a year now right and I feel like and I feel like I'm being neglected and told him that I'm an anxious person I always cried and poured out myself to him told him how I hate this kind of situation he said he will make it better but still uh same reason and same one week schedule video chats we barely even talk as of today I'm being quiet and not replying to any of his messages after I drop a long uh Dro that long message of choosing uh myself this time what do you think of our situation and advice would be great thanks in advance okay um mitu uh this is a good question my advice to you obviously you know him being a government employee um is tough because he probably does have actually a lot to do in the day and he probably is a pretty busy guy I don't I don't deny that now here's the problem with longdistance relationships is if both parties aren't putting in as much effort as they possibly can into the relationship and trying to make it work it becomes very painful very easily and there's no way to alleviate that pain obviously because you can't see each other in person I think think that in your situation I think you need to allow him to come H into his own realization of whether or not he wants and desires this relationship and whether he wants to make it work because right now as it stands you're doing the job for him of trying to get him to choose the relationship as a priority and I think that I don't I don't think that necessarily giving up is is what I'm trying to say but I think that you have to Al allow men in general but I think that you have to allow him to decide for himself that I want to choose this relationship because I know that I want and desire her okay because right now it seems like you've been trying well be you're frustrated obviously and in the process of you reaching out to him complaining and all this stuff you're trying to show him and con con uh convince him how he should care about you and this relationship in reality that's never actually going to make someone care about the relationship okay the only thing that will make him care about the relationship is coming to his own realization and it's funny because this kind of applies to what we're talking about today the only way for that to happen happen is if he's actually thinking about you and missing you himself and he can only miss you when he has some space away from you where he doesn't hear from you and he realizes all the feelings and emotions and good parts about being with you that he no longer gets now because he's not with you okay and so I think that you're doing you're on the right track in terms of being quiet and not replying to uh any of his messages after you drop that message right um because I think that's the way to go now now you in the process of this you actually need to give him some anxiety that he might have lost you by his actions so even when he begins reaching out to you more I actually want you to continue not replying to his messages until you really see that he be he's becoming desperate right and I mean desperate calling you all the time texting you all the time begging for you to speak to him begging for you to give him a chance right that's the only time where I would come back around and basically when you come back around you have to basically say all right show me that you deserve a chance and you have to literally flip the script on him and leave it up to him to do some results and back flips for you that he will show you that he actually can take this relationship seriously don't give him any advice don't tell him what to do better don't tell him how he should do it just tell him okay if you're begging for me if you're desperate if you want to be with me so bad show me that show me what you got okay this is your audition show me what you got and let's see what he comes up with if is if what he does is not impressive to you and he doesn't actually make a change then walk away but if he really is interested in you and interested in the relationship he'll start doing backflips and he'll start trying to prove to you that he can be your guy okay uh very good very good okay what time is it let's do a few more here we've been on live for very long see we got we got a lot to get to don't worry we got all week to get to these guys so don't you worry okay uh Cy bear I think this is one that we did yesterday or C no C that was Cali Bear this is ky star men who are still in contact with their ex oh this should be interesting I'm interested on this guy and this guy I think you meant to say whom I've met on a dating app he seems genuine and he is looking for a relationship and stated that on the app however I was taken aback after knowing that he still follows um his ex on social media why do men do this and should and what should I do about this I'm really interested in him okay uh CI star my advice to you right um anytime a guy is I don't want to cast any um action on him that he might not have committed but if a guy's following his ex still on social media that can be a red flag doesn't necessarily mean bad things but that can be a red flag okay um now you need to ask more questions though so him following his X is not enough of a red flag for you to say that that means that he's still in a relationship with her or still has an ongoing thing with her you need to if you do meet up with this guy hopefully you're not doing all of this chatting over text you probably are if it's a dating app you need to when you meet him in person or talk to him over the phone you need to get a very clear understanding of where he stands in his relationship why it ended and what's going on with him and his ex currently you need to have answers to all of those questions and you can do that in a slick way it doesn't require you to interrogate him right um but there's a difference between between being in contact with his ex and following his ex on social media because he can be in he can be following her without ever messaging her right now I'm not saying that he's not it's possible that he is but there's a difference you need to be clear on where he stands with her and what their relationship is and if they are in a position where they work together they still see each other they still come across each other any of those types of things okay and that's the only way you can really know what uh is the next step here because you can't make that determination solely based on the fact he still follows her you get what I'm saying so you need to be asking questions so you can get an understanding of the context of why he might be following her or what their situation might still be you understand what I'm saying and then once you get that information make your decision on whether or not you think he's still emotionally available or still invested in his ex you understand what I'm saying now your question of why do men do this like I say the he could be following his ex for many different reasons maybe they still work together maybe they're part of a friend group I don't know right um now I will say right when usually if you break up with someone you would at least unfollow them but not all the time and I can't speak for everyone in every situation because it doesn't necessarily mean that he's actively having conversation with her just because He follows her okay so um that's all we'll do for today just because we're so uh over on on time um don't worry if I didn't get to your question today I will get to it tomorrow or in the in this week right we got lots of time to answer all of these amazing beautiful questions that you guys sent into the Discord okay so if you guys uh uh just want to follow me on Instagram and you want to see everything I'm doing you want to know everything them about everything that I got going on you can go follow me on Instagram it's right above my head on uh Tik Tok right there it's on the left side of your screen right by the Instagram thing and then it's on the bottom right of your screen on YouTube if you want to rewatch this live show in its entirety because you love it so much and you're like this is the most amazing thing ever and I can't believe this existed and I just found it about about it now you can head to my YouTube if you're on Tik Tok and you can find my YouTube which is right above my head right on the right right next to that YouTube button screenshot that or just type in my name on YouTube and you'll be able to find my channel and watch this entire live stream just go to the live stream section and you'll be able to watch this entire live stream and its entirety with the Tik Tok chat embedded on one side of the screen and the YouTube chat embedded on the other side so you'll be able to see all the conversations all the contact so cool so awesome okay I will see you guys tomorrow at 400 p.m. remember I'm I'm here every weekday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday at 400 p.m. eastern time okay so I will be back on talk to you about love life and relationships at 400 p.m. eastern time tomorrow okay until then I will see you guys later I love you so much thank you so much for joining me on another episode of The Players Club I will speak to you right on time at 400 p.m. Eastern exactly tomorrow okay