OTMT Week 6 ASW pt 2 The Skill of Receiving Feedback Sheila Henn TEDxTalk

Feb 17, 2025

Lecture on Receiving Feedback

Introduction

  • Lecture by a member of the Harvard Negotiation Project.
  • Focus: Challenges and importance of feedback in conversations.
  • Initial approach: Teaching feedback givers to give better feedback.

The Shift in Focus

  • Realization: Receivers are in charge of what they accept and how they change.
  • Importance of learning to receive feedback effectively.
  • Feedback includes performance reviews, suggestions, and everyday criticisms.

Challenges in Receiving Feedback

  • Truth Triggers: Doubts about the accuracy of the feedback.
    • Challenge to see oneself and feedback accurately due to blind spots.
  • Relationship Triggers: Reactions based on who gives the feedback.
    • Importance of separating the 'who' from the 'what'.
  • Identity Triggers: Emotional reactions based on personal identity.
    • Variability in sensitivity to feedback (up to 3000%).

Identity Triggers Explained

  • Genetic and Emotional Factors:
    • Emotional reactions are 50% genetic, 40% narrative, 10% circumstance.
    • Baseline happiness affects feedback reception.
    • Sensitivity and recovery time vary among individuals.

Sensitivity to Feedback

  • Highly Sensitive Individuals:
    • One piece of feedback can overshadow everything.
    • Google Bias: Focus on negative past experiences.
  • Insensitive Individuals:
    • May not notice feedback, dismiss potential improvements.
    • Impact of undersensitivity on relationships and leadership.

Strategies for Effective Feedback Reception

  • Ask for specific feedback, one thing that can be improved.
  • Refrain from broad questions like "Do you have any feedback for me?"
  • Specificity leads to clearer, actionable feedback.

Conclusion

  • Feedback sits at the junction of the need to grow and the need to be accepted.
  • Learning and growth often stem from painful feedback experiences.
  • Aim to manage the pain of feedback to enrich relationships and enhance learning.

Key Takeaway

  • Developing skills to effectively receive feedback is crucial for personal and professional growth.