our first guest is an actor standup comedian and best-selling author his autobiography the happiest Refugee won the 2011 Australian book of the year would you please welcome the delightful an do so you love a break who comes out clapping an we've got some incredible pictures here that will chart I suppose in a way the early years of your life and and we begin your story in Vietnam as your book does but what I wanted to ask what are your memories of Vietnam I mean you were two and a half yep you know I didn't think I remembered anything but um a couple of years ago I went back to Vietnam for the first time yeah my my brother showed me a boat just like the one that we we came to Australia on and there was just something about it and we both went it's probably like that one isn't it and the uncle went it's exactly like that one although the one that you came out in had a dodgy ending but we will get to that in a moment let's go to this first shot now just to run us through this mom and dad mom and dad uh they got married out outside the church and and and all the kids wanted to be in on the photo and this guy just got his foot in check that out did you see my foot what sort of a wedding was it it was uh it was Outdoors my my father's got nine brothers and sisters there's 10 kids uh mom's got a one of eight so very poor you know uh but you know the family saves up saves up pitches in my mom still says it's the happiest day of her life so and of course this is uh around about 75 76 I would think yeah my my family uh left Vietnam because we we'd fought alongside Aussie soldiers in the Vietnam War in fact one of my uncles was a sapper who helped clear landmines for Anzac that's you know that's what a sapper does and a few years ago I was watching TV and me and him were watching and there's this sapper on TV in Iraq right and I said to my uncle he doesn't look all that nervous for a guy who's looking for landmines and then my uncle says Ah that's because in front of him is a cameraman walking backwards you got a good point Uncle that's a good point I didn't I didn't think of that um after the war finished my mom's two older brothers because they had fought alongside Aussies uh they were put into concentration camps and my family thought they were going to be there for 2 weeks but they'd been there for 3 years and other prisoners around them were dying of starvation of disease and some were being executed so my father who was a 25-year-old Vietnamese kid at the time he goes and he steals a high level communist Soldiers uniform and paperwork he walks right through the front door of the jail and he says I need to take these two with me right now and they let my uncles go my my father P off a fantastic rescue with another guy's ID Brian it go it goes to prove even Asians think all Asians look the same that of course back then there was no photos and so how long later did did you make your Escape uh they went into hiding for a while uh uh my family had to get a boat and then uh eventually 40 Vietnamese neighbors cousins anyone who needed to leave Vietnam 40 Vietnamese got on a 9 and 1/2 meter fishing boat crammed in like sardines as we leave Vietnam communist soldiers spot Us in the distance they chase us and they shoot at us we're far enough away that we get away and once we go beyond the border patrol Zone they stop chasing us but we blow one of the engines and so for the next four 4 days the boat travels at about 30% the speed it should be and on day four we've run out of food and water and one person has passed away and then on the morning of day five mom wakes up and she sees a boat in the distance and we wait for this boat to come over and it turns and it starts heading towards us but as the boat gets closer we realize it's not going to save us it's a boatload of tha Pirates seven men with knives machetes and guns they jump on our boat and they take everything they even take the engine and they knck off and we're just left floating no engine no engine um and then few hours later we spot another boat this time we're not so excited no do you is there my mom says it's that it's that moment they might be good they might not be uh it gets closer and it's men with n machetes and guns Nine Pirates uh they come onto our boat and my father says we have nothing left but one of the Pirates picks up a little baby and he lifts up this baby and he rips open the baby's nappy and 150 Australian worth of gold falls out cuz when you leave your country you sell everything you have you buy gold the international currency Brian a tiny slice of gold drops out and he starts screaming out all this stuff in a foreign language and dangles the baby over the side of the boat he threatens to throw the kid in my father screams out we have to save the child it's now a standoff Nine Pirates 38 starving refugees kid over the side of the boat in that moment for whatever reason the pirate decides to spare the kid's life he throws him back in and he lets the kid live and that's a good thing cuz that kid is my little brother juo uh who um who grew up to become the 2005 young Australian of the year for his charity work my little brother hold that thought hold that thought because uh you've just had the second attack so I want you to go back to that story but I do want to just uh let people see this shot this is just before you left yeah it's a few months before we left uh there's my little brother there he is uh so he's quite a tubby little fell so he a strong pirate who went like that back to the boat so you've had two attack this is all in a space of what five days yeah that's right two pirate attacks two pirate attacks the first bunch of pirates took the engine that was working so my father who all the family call a Vietnamese mcgyver he he carves a a rubber ring out of one of my uncle's thongs and he Dives underneath and and and Loops that around and manages to fix the broken engine so it's not running completely no but it's kind of running the second Pirates thought we'll take that as well so then we're we got nothing now we're sort of just drifting till the next morning a great big German merchant ship rocked up and rescued us two German guys jump on the boat and they smash up the boat because they can't actually rescue US unless we're sinking and it SS and my mom and dad to this day are very grateful they love Germans really my mom goes for Germany in the Olympics you know run faster run faster Wolf Gang woo that's actually not even a joke she really she loves them all right we're here we're in uh in Sydney yeah we're at a migrant hostel and that's uh that's uh my mom's Brothers um and what happened was um some some nuns from St Vinnie's come and give my family a big bag of clothes and it got lost in the translation so half the kids clothes were for a little boy and half were for a little girl and my mom's just been through War poverty starvation and she thinks if she gives the girls clothes back the nun's going to think she's impolite so for the first year or so in Australia my brother my little brother wears dresses and no no know that but my uncle's going no no no that looks wrong that looks like a little boy in a girl's dress and my mom said that's right I'll fix that she grew his hair longer an I wanted to ask about this photo now qua has solved his gender issue a lau is in Sydney y um you know my parents arrived in Australia and they just said kids what about what about this great country you know and growing up they taught us do do as much as you can to give back to this great country that gave us a second chance and and uh I'm yet to do that but my brother is very good beautiful all right birthday shot birthday shot we're sending this photo back to Vietnam so before we take the shot uh the family was like get all the cans of fan in and show everyone in Vietnam how wealthy we are look at that there's six of them oh I tell you your mom hero shot for me I love this one yeah in merville y you know Mom and Dad said wow man look at this beautiful house and my mom went this I'm going to be like a model and I show off to everyone their beautiful house and um you know and she looks gorgeous in that doesn't she yeah favorite TV shows can you remember what was big on the box yeah uh WrestleMania 4 all I wanted to be was Hulk Hogan growing up all right last one was Mom this one's Dad yeah so that's my dad on the right uh he you know he's a funny guy Life of the Party sort of guy you know and and uh at he was never a real MC for a job but whenever anyone had a um when anyone got married or there was an event they they'd say hey T UMC man you get on the mic uh and uh and and it probably influenced you know yeah me my father he lost three brothers and his own dad in the aftermath of the war so he used to drink a lot and when I was 13 he left he left the family he was drinking too much and uh so Mom raised three kids on her own and I didn't see my father between the ages of 13 and 22 when I was a kid Brian dad used to say a if you find the right woman marry her man look how happy me Mama and he Lov my mom very much a little thing called you know the Vietnam War and alcoholism got in the way you know uh I was 22 and I was engaged and I wanted to find my dad to say look I found the right woman I'm going to get married and I make all these phone calls and I discover he's living in Melbourne so I jump in my car and I drive all night it's the longest 12 hours of my life I'm I'm just why did he leave how come I've not heard from him like maybe he''s forgotten about me well he even recognized me I Used to Be This Tall now I'm this tall and then I knock on this door and this door opens and there's this woman standing there and she looks about 25 and I think okay so he might have like a new partner who's just a bit older than me and then there's this baby crying this one-year-old and he looks a little bit like me I think okay I might have a half brother and then my father appears from the back and he's loud and he's funny and he says um sit down and look at this meal I've prepared and we have like brunch cuz I've driven all night and my father the same but every now and then he just paused for a little bit too long and he stared vacantly and I discovered that he has a tumor in his brain and I felt to myself uh I didn't want to buy back into a sick Dad I just wanted to go look like I'm engaged and and this is all too much to deal with you know and I thought look I'm just going to visit this once and I'm never going to come back I'm going to pretend this never happened but just before I left I said dad so the kid you call him fatty cuz that's his nickname what's his real name my dad my dad said his name is an I named him after you so for many years I thought my father forgotten about me and I realized when he said that you know maybe he'd been thinking about me also yeah it took uh he said an look man I don't deserve this but if I can have one last thing I want to see your brother and your sister so I can tell them I love them and they go see Dad and it makes him so happy and my little sister says to him dad you left when I was nine and I'm 18 and you owe me some years and you got to hang around and my my dad said I promise you I will get better so he sought treatment and the tumor in the following years completely disappeared that was 12 years ago still alive today he'll live till he's 100 wa beautiful well speaking of the sister I do think that oh look G tram tell us about this shot as my beautiful little sister she uh she had all through her childhood she had uh her teeth were crowded on one side and she say she hardly ever smiled this is one of the few photos where she smiling uh and one of the greatest things that that I've ever done in my life was when I just started out doing comedy Brian uh there was a competition in CRA called Green faces right and all comedians from all the states fly to CRA and compete for 5K prize money prize money and and extra gigs it's worth 5K right and I was a young comic and I'm and I won the Sydney heat and I won all these semi-finals and I got to the Grand Final 11:00 they announced the winner and do I I straight away went off stage looked for a phone and I called my mom and she'd been waiting up with my sister oh to wait for the news yeah I said Mom I won we're going to fix tram's teeth and you know my mom has so much faith in her yeah you know I can't believe she waited up what if I didn't win do she does she watch your comedy your mom yeah my mom um you know doesn't understand a lot of my comedy she goes why are they laughing F's funny uh and you know she just go arms always like that at home so but uh but my sister uh she got her teeth fixed well I think it's an appropriate way to finish look at that yeah she's gorgeous beautiful when was that taken uh that was on her wedding day look at you you you look very happy yeah she looks very happy um it's been an absolute privilege having you on this show ladies and gentlemen