Hey everyone, welcome back to the channel. Thank you for being here. My name is Andrew, coming to you from the beautiful Carolinas.
Today's topic is going to be, it's your energy the narcissist needs. Think about that for a minute. Everyone, if you like the content, please like, subscribe, and share. So your energy, this is something that makes you you.
I've created multiple videos on the topic and your energy is what the narcissist wanted when you were in that relationship. At times, it's what they want when you are out of it. I'll jump into that in so many more topics on your energy beginning right now.
When you were in the relationship, think about what you were doing. You were giving to a fault. You were putting out all the fires the narcissist was starting on purpose. You were appeasing them.
You were making them happy. You were regulating them. You were the unpaid helper, the walking apology, the sounding board, all the topics and all the hats you wore that I talked about on the channel.
You were those and so many more. You were the walking ATM. You were the person who would regulate the narcissist and you would be there for them.
But your energy was being zapped each and every minute you were in that relationship. Whether you were sitting next to them, whether you were a thousand miles away from them, whether you were at work, whether they were on a quote unquote girls weekend or guys weekend or no matter where the narcissist was, you were thinking about them back then. Remember, you were existing in a place.
called the narcissistic fog. You were trapped. You were tricked. You were manipulated.
You believed in the mask. You fell for the false narrative of the narcissist. And the narcissist did their work up front to get you to fall for them, to get you to enter in a relationship with them.
And once the narcissist knew that they had you where they wanted you, which is that devaluation stage slash narcissistic fog slash trauma bond, that's when they knew that they could pull back. That's when they knew that they had you where they wanted you. and that you weren't going to be going anywhere anytime soon because you would continue to work for them. You would continue to work for the relationship.
You would be that unpaid helper like I talked about and you would be believing that you could get back to that euphoric slash love bomb stage or the beginning of the relationship when everything seemed almost too good to be true because that's right, it was too good to be true. The narcissist is a master manipulator. They hoodwink to you. They fooled you, they sold you a bill of goods. This is what they do with everybody they encounter.
Not exclusive to romantic relationships, but friendships, colleagues, neighbors, coworkers, acquaintances, business associates, whomever. The narcissist will wear a different mask for whoever or whomever they encounter. And depending on the size of the audience, that mask is either fit for one or it's fit for hundreds or thousands.
But the narcissist, remember, they are always looking over their shoulder. They're always looking for the next new shiny object. They're always waiting for the other shoe to drop. They're waiting for supply sources to figure out who they are, what they have been doing to the supply source.
But the narcissist also realizes that it would take an extremely strong and resilient person to break the trauma bond, to break the cycle, to go no contact, delete them, remove them and all fly monkeys and people associated with them. But this is what either you have done You are doing or you are about to do because you now understand that your energy, your time, your essence, your aura, your soul, your purpose, it's way too valuable to be spent on a toxic draining energy vampire, i.e. a narcissist. You weren't taught narcissism 101 in school, so you didn't know what the narcissist was capable of.
You didn't even know what narcissism was. You probably thought it was just a person admiring themselves in the mirror and combing their long hair or... Batting their eyelashes and saying, yes, I'm so beautiful, I'm so adorable, everyone loves me.
Well, that's a little bit of the narcissistic aspect or character, I should say. But remember, at their core, the narcissist is a coward. They're a bully. There is no substance to them. There is no originality to them.
What they do is they mimic back other people's ideas. They steal people's relationships. They steal people's time. They steal people's hopes, dreams, aspirations, and goals. and futures and another thing the narcissist steals is what that's right it's your energy you see the narcissist wanted to use you as a fuel source for a period of time which was in fact that length of the relationship maybe it was a day a week a month a year a decade maybe you were born into the narcissistic family who knows but as long as you were tied to or tethered to the narcissist, they will continue to zap your energy.
And here are many ways the narcissist does this. Number one, let's just take the smartphone. You're probably watching this video on your smartphone. And if you are, you know what I'm talking about. You use it to communicate with people.
You use it to catch up with news events and what your kids are doing. doing or maybe you talk with your relatives around the world, whatever you do, but you use it to keep abreast of what's going on in the climate today. At least maybe that's what you're doing.
Well, the narcissist does that as well, but they also use the smartphone as a remote control to control multiple people all around the world. In the old days, think about this, maybe these things still happen today, who knows, but a remote control would be something that you would lift your garage door open with or you would use remote control to control the TV, etc. Well, the smartphone has become the remote control.
And the narcissist was using that to control you and multiple people at the same time. So think about why the narcissist, number one, can't sit still. Number two, why they usually have multiple smartphones, but not always.
Number three, why they can't do without their smartphone. Number four, why they take their smartphone to the bathroom and the bathroom break wouldn't be a minute, two, three, four. Sometimes it's 15, 20 minutes and you'd have to be scratching your head saying, what's going on in there? Little TMI, I understand, but this is what the narcissist does. It's what they were doing before they met you.
It's what they were doing when they were with you. And it's what they're doing right now. They love their smartphone. And on the smartphone, what they can do are many different manipulating techniques or tactics.
One is they could send the legendary slash famous template text in the morning. Example, good morning, sunshine. How are you?
Or thinking of you? Or how did you sleep? Now, when they send a message like that, and maybe you experienced it, it wasn't being sent just to you because notice they didn't use your name.
They didn't. They didn't ask you something about you. Example, hey, how was last night? Did you get that report done for work? Or are you on your way to work?
Or how's it going? Or good luck today with getting that interview. They're not going to say anything like that. They're going to say the bare bones minimum. And the narcissist many times uses the template text, which means they copy paste that same template text and they send it off to multiple people at the same time.
And it doesn't have to be exclusive to a romantic relationship. It can be to anybody. Think about this. This is how lazy the narcissist is. narcissist is.
It's how unoriginal they are. But that's one way that the narcissist tried to zap your energy. So in the morning, let's say that you were in a relationship with a narcissist and you get a text from them.
Well, back then, again, you didn't know what narcissism was. So you're probably thinking, wow, that person actually cares about me. They're thinking about me.
This is so great. Well, you were supposed to think that. Now knowing what you do know and that there are such things as template texts, but most importantly, there are things as narcissists gallivanting the globe and all over the place. Now, you know that it wasn't just. you it was many other people they were probably communicating with and that smartphone of theirs is essentially like their third arm they need it they need that like they breathe air and before the smartphone came around or the internet what did the narcissists do well they had to stay in their little corner of the world maybe their little neighborhood or their little community or little town or area and they had to abuse and manipulate people there and if they ever got out of their little area or community it was like a field day for them because everything was new they could go to a new town town or city and blow up other people's lives over there.
But those days are long over because now we have the internet and the smartphone and the narcissist can get supplied via the smartphone and steal people's energy 24 7 in virtually any language known to humankind. Think about what I'm sharing with you. That's why the narcissist needs their phone and that's why they need multiple sources of supply.
Another way the narcissist would try to steal and drain your energy would be when you would be with them. Let's say you went on vacation or holidays or special events, etc. Well, The narcissist probably, first of all, created an intentional argument before you went away on that vacation or holiday or event, whatever you did. Because they want to disrupt your energy.
They wanted you to not be of sound mind. They wanted you to be frustrated and be in a bad mood. So they would create something from the past or the present or maybe something in the future, who knows. They could drum up whatever they wanted to back then. And they would have what I call an intentional argument to throw you off kilter, to deregulate you, to regulate themselves.
So they could be controlling you and stealing your what? That's right, stealing your energy. So let's use that as an example.
Let's say it's a holiday and you were on your way to go to the in-laws house, which they lived an hour away. Well, the narcissist in you may be in the car on the way going there, but maybe you were getting a silent treatment. Maybe you were being triangulated. Maybe you were being blamed or you were experiencing rage fits or why you're driving too fast or too slow or why you didn't top up the gas tank or why you're wearing those clothes or why you did something 30 years ago. And they would bring it up again.
They do this because they have you in an enclosed space, which is a moving car. And they can do whatever they want to specifically when you are driving. Because when you're driving.
what do you have to do? It's right. You have to keep your eyes on the road and you have to pay attention to so many things that are going on around you.
The narcissist would be sitting next to you in the passenger seat on one of their three smartphones, either ignoring you, giving you the silent treatment or blaming you or doing whatever they wanted to do. Like I said, triangulating you, who knows, but you would not be getting the TLC or the attention that you deserved. And that was by design.
It was on purpose. So when you would arrive at the special event or the holiday, wherever you were going to, the in-laws, you would park the car and you'd be fuming or steaming or upset because you're the person you loved or fell in love with who never loved you or didn't fall in love with you, i.e. the narcissist. ignoring you or punishing you for being you. Then they will get out of the car with a perma smile on their face.
You would get out of the car and your face would be beat like a tomato because you were so upset of what just happened. But then the narcissist goes into the event about 20 feet in front of you, 20 yards. in front of you, acting like they're single, and then you would be in the back. And then people would be saying, hey, where's your spouse or where's so-and-so?
And the narcissist would be saying things like, oh, they're just doing stuff. They'll be there in a minute. Don't worry about them.
They'll be fine. You see, they don't care about you. They didn't care about you then. They won't care about you now. And they won't care about you or even the new supply in the future.
They just want to steal your energy. They want to steal your empathy, your love, your kindness, your commitment, your abundance, your future, your purpose. And that's another example of how the narcissist one, it's to steal your energy. And your energy fueled the narcissist.
It's what keeps them going. It's like your oxygen. It's like your breathing.
The narcissist needs people around them to regulate themselves. Now, I've said this in so many videos. I'm going to say it again. Why they need to regulate themselves?
It's because they can't do it themselves. They need people to abuse and manipulate. They need people to pump up their fragile ego.
They need to steal people's energy and people's relationships and purpose. And they need to drive wedges. between those people, and at one point that was you, and anything that mattered to you, which includes your time, money, health, empathy, energy, love, your hobbies, et cetera. The narcissist knows what they're doing.
They knew what they were doing when they met you, and they know what they're doing right now with the new supply, or the new, new supply, or the new, new, new supply, or the recycled old source of supply, which could be the new supply, but they're actually old, so who knows what the narcissist is doing these days. What I do know is my hope is you've gone no contact. You've blocked them, deleted them, et cetera, and you've healed, or you are healing.
and you're understanding that the narcissist can't change. They cannot ever, ever introspect. They won't be accountable.
They can never look at themselves in the mirror and say, wow, I really, really blew up another relationship. I need to get better. I need to get help.
I need to look inward and focus on myself. No, they're going to look at that cracked mirror, see some new wrinkles on their face and say, wait, actually, I am becoming the aging narcissist. And that mirror doesn't look nearly as it did 10, 20, 30 years ago.
But you know what? I'll just super glue a new mask on. and I'll fool and manipulate other people. Maybe I'll even try to hang out with people 10, 20, 30 years younger than me and wear clothes of a younger generation because yeah, I am the aging narcissist and yeah, I am a pitiful sight to see. But you know what?
For now, I'll just act like I look like I did when I was 20 years old and I'll keep on behaving the way I did and try to manipulate people. Well, the aging narcissist, not only are they not a pretty sight to see, but they get worse over time as does each and every narcissist. And the narcissist, Narcissists, as they get older, they need more and more energy to fuel themselves because their body starts ailing and failing. Their mind becomes a puddle of mush.
They can't do what they used to do. They can't manipulate people they used to. So they need to get other sources of supply.
And I'm not talking about romantic. I'm talking about guilting the in-laws, guilting their grandchildren, guilting their children, guilting the neighbors, guilting the help, the nurses or the people that take care of the narcissist. Guilting their...
siblings whoever they can and they will say whatever they need to to get somebody close enough to them so they can abuse that person day after day week after week month after month you see the narcissist can play any card they want to they can play the power card they can play the superior card they can play the victim card they can play the woe is me card they can play whatever they want to and you used to fall for it just like i did but then you got that light bulb moment then you found that needle in a haystack and you realized wait wait a minute, these people are everywhere and they've been manipulating me and using me and abusing me for a whole lifetime. Well, yeah, that's how it's been going until you finally cracked the code. And there was one pivotal day when either your relationship ended because you ended it yourself and you removed yourself from the relationship or you put up a boundary and the next thing you know, the moving van was there and you get discarded. Either way, it doesn't matter how it ended.
And my heart does go out to you if you were in a narcissistic relationship. The point is it ended. And when it ended, you had to put yourself back together. What did the... the narcissists do.
They just had to go open that closet and figure out which mask to wear for the new supply. Was it going to be a puppies and rainbows mask? Is it going to be a victim mask? Is it going to be a superiority mask?
Is it going to be I need money or shelter mask? Who knows? But it's going to be custom made for the new supply, just like the mask was custom made for you.
And the new supply probably won't even figure out what you figured out because you are a rare person. You're a resilient person. You're a strong person. You're a courageous person.
and you're full of fortitude. and abundance and the narcissist thought that they took you down for the count but they failed and yes they did fail miserably because you're here you're getting your cup full and you're understanding your energy is priceless your time is invaluable your assets and resources are yours they're not for another people another person to try and steal and take any more from, you now have boundaries. You can now say no the strongest way in the English language. And remember, when you say no to something or someone, you are saying yes to yourself, but you couldn't do that when you were in a narcissistic relationship because if you put up a boundary or told them no or something, there would be a big price tag to pay.
Again, you'd be given the silent treatment or ghosted or rage fits or gas lit or mirroring or projection, whatever. You would get all these things thrown at you and you didn't know how to combat these things, but now you understand. You know what to do.
And what to do post-narcissistic relationship once you've healed is literally become small. Don't overshare. Have boundaries. Trust your instincts and your intuition.
Pay attention to red flags. Don't believe everything that you hear. See if a person's actions match their words.
Test them. Test them over again. Maybe implement a one or two strike rule. Unlike the old days when you would give a three strike rule. Maybe you give them a chance and if someone didn't let you down you give them another chance.
If they let you down another chance and well that's the old School mentality, the new school is give them a one chance or maybe two, but three strikes and you're out, those days are long over because life is too short. And now that you've come through the cycle and you've put yourself back together and dusted yourself up by the bootstraps and risen to the ashes like a phoenix, you now know what it took for you to A, stay in that relationship, to B, to be removed from that relationship no matter how you were removed, and C, to put yourself back together. You see, you've beaten something that you didn't even know that you were up against. you've conquered the narcissistic abusive cycle, which is something that most people can't wrap their head around. They don't even know what narcissism is.
They just think it's a word that's going around the interwebs for the last couple years and it's no big thing, it doesn't affect them. Well, don't think so fast because it could affect you. It affected each and every one of us in the community and on the channel and nobody, and I mean nobody, is immune to the narcissistic abusive cycle. So that's why people come back to the channel. to get topped up, to get their cup full, to get refreshers, reminders, to refresh their memories of what once was and to know that where you were is not where you ever want to go back to again and to remember and remind yourself that no contact is the path and that giving the narcissist one more chance will never benefit you and that accepting a Hoover will only send you in a tailspin backwards.
You see, the narcissist doesn't care about anybody, not you, not the new supply, not their parents, not their children. There's not one person on the planet that narcissists cares about other than themselves. And you really need to get that message.
So if you're giving them more and more chances, or if you're breaking no contact, or if you're blocking and unblocking, et cetera, it's not gonna benefit you. One more thing before I close the video. Your energy is what makes you you.
That's why think about the foods you eat and the beverages you drink. My hope is you're drinking a lot of water, and you're taking your vitamins, and eating fruits and vegetables, and whatever you need to eat to stay healthy, and you're exercising and getting a proper amount of sleep. Well.
When you're in that relationship with the narcissist, you weren't eating healthy, I'm sure. You definitely weren't sleeping. And I'm sure your exercise was taking a big hit, as was everything else around you. And your energy was becoming decimated.
Your clarity had disappeared. Your focus was non-existent. Your money was going out the window. Your relationships were being blown up left, right, and center.
Your hobbies you weren't participating in. And your job was taking a huge hit. And I left some things off that list, but you get the point. You became a shell of yourself because you became an extension of the narcissist. And you lost your identity to the narcissist.
And this is what the narcissist was planning on. And they accomplished that for a period of time, which was the length of the relationship. But then when that relationship ended, after you went no contact, you slowly began to heal. You began to recover.
You began to get more fortified and resilient. And you understood that that was not your fault. The narcissist took advantage of you. They tricked you and trapped you and manipulated you. And they never thought that you would ever make it out.
But you did, and here you are. So now that you've healed or you're well on the healing path and either you have arrived or you are arriving at the pinnacle of indifference, the mountaintop of indifference where you no longer care about the narcissist or anybody from that period of time, that's when you put yourself back together. And when you do that, that's when you realize, oh my gosh, I am so much stronger than I know. And yes, my energy is priceless.
And yes, it was going out the window left, right and center. I couldn't get sleep. Anything that I did was wrong. Anything I didn't do, I should have done.
It was bizarro world. What was black was white, what was up was down, what was left was right. This is all by design because the narcissist at their core, they make no sense. All they want to do is use word salad, filibuster, future fake, blame you, and continue to abuse people.
This is what they do. This is why the cycle will continue to go around and around. But the cycle will go around without you.
being in it. So understand it's your energy the narcissist needed. It's someone else's energy the narcissist needs. And that's why when the narcissist would try to communicate with you post-relationship, I'm talking about a Hoover now, or reaching out to you, think about it. It's because their fuel sources aren't up to snuff.
They're not cutting it. And they need someone who actually provided grade A supply for them, which was you. But remember, and I'm going to close the video. You're not supply. Supply is Clorox or white bees or toilet paper, whatever.
You're a beautiful, bright, shining light. You are a human being. You're resilient. You shine brighter than the sun, the moon, and the stars.
And the narcissist saw this in you. They knew you were an empath. They knew you were kind, loving.
They knew you were committed and you wouldn't quit. And they tried their best to break you, to break the relationship, and to make sure that you did not keep your beautiful, bright, shining light. Again, they failed.
They couldn't quite do it. They failed miserably and now they will slither off onto a new source of supply and eventually that mirror that has 13 cracks in it will have way more than that and the narcissist will have nowhere to turn and their energy supply will run out. The battery in their smartphone will be dead and the narcissist will have to sit and stew in the misery of all the destruction they've created in their lives.
and in so many other people's lives. Everyone, that's the video. I hope you liked it.
I loved doing it from the beautiful Carolinas. This is Andrew. Namaste.
Have a great afternoon, evening, or morning, no matter where you are on the planet. You are not alone. Remember that. You are not alone.
I love you all. God bless you and I'll talk to you tomorrow. And it is getting dark a little earlier here.
I hope you like the video. I love the cool weather. I love all four seasons. But this is an amazing time to be on the planet and to be creating content.
Wherever you are, please take a moment out today or tonight. Appreciate who you are, how far you've come. If you're where you want to be, Embrace it, celebrate, which means really take a big deep breath in, enjoy the abundance, exhale slowly and say to yourself, oh my gosh I made it, I'm here, I am so fortunate. If you are not where you want to be yet, there's work to be done, but know where you're going, know how to get there, continue to focus on yourself, continue to move forward each and every day, have a plan, create the plan, develop the plan and execute the plan to get where you want to be.
All of us, and I mean all of us, at one point were stuck. We were all trapped. And all of us, and all of us at one point, we were the new supply.
And all of us didn't know what narcissism was. But now we are not supply. We are either where we want to be or heading where we want to go.
And we are stronger than we know. Understand the message. Going no contact, blocking these people is the path.
I love you all. God bless you. And I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Bye everybody.