Transcript for:
From Incarceration to Spiritual Awakening

I was locked up from 12 to 25 been on level four yards level three yards like I seen Satan everywhere bro you told your mom you're like yeah I'll take you to church but listen I ain't trying to get converted and you're waiting in the car and that man that you're talking about comes out and he says hey why don't you have a meal with us but that meal was your favorite meal it was bro you know why that made me emotional you've seen a lot of bad things but let's be honest you did a lot of bad things absolutely and you ruined a lot of people's homes from the actions you did how merciful of a god do we have that he says not only come and to my home the way you are but I got this meal that I think you would love amen I'm just it's not often I sit down with somebody and they say something that makes me you give me something to think my own damn way I had a lot of fun on this interview what's up guys welcome back uh dude you are the most requested guest I I think I've ever dude I saw your name so many times that I was like I want to save this now I feel like there's so many people that requested I was like should I save this for like a a special episode and uh B and I deep dived on your life and man I am so excited about this I am so excited you guys first of all I just want to let you guys I want to set the mood every time we have a guest come in my dog golden doodle acting like he's some type of guard dog and then like but nothing when he saw you that's facts that's dope what do you think it was you think I feel like animals can yeah definitely sense spirit and they're just you know they're they just know like it's crazy like kids and animals right like if you're chilling in a hotel room and your dog's just staring at a corner for a little bit you're like something's like you know and he's done that George's waking me up I left her once in a hotel room she went with her family members we got this one hotel room my dog stared at the corner I left I was like she has she has Jesus he'll protect her I'm out I got things to do today uh but you're Tommy proved so we start before we get into like the the dude there's so much like dude you're you're an ex gang member that found Jesus that repaired his family that is taking steps not only to repair his future seeds and generations but you're blessing so many homes and I have so much to ask you and learn from but would like to start at light since we're talking about animals yeah yeah do you are you okay with like how you see those Tik Tok videos and they have like the animals like bowing their head to pray before eating how do you feel about that I've seen that how do you feel about that I mean reading the Bible honestly it does say that if you read it in like the Hebrew Aramaic the breath I'm Aramaic by the way I don't mean to flex on you like that no worries worries yeah but my ancestors that's all about them yeah that's dope bro so you know we got wild with God a few times but whatever yeah back to you back to you but yeah there's like breath that they breathe into the lungs of us right like God was saying so actually it says that they have the same breath but then it's kind of confusing too because when you read in Isaiah the Egyptians it says their animals don't have the breath so it's kind of like I think in context to me I focus more on the gospel so I'm like look if you there's nothing wrong with preaching the gospel to Every Creature it doesn't just say every person so I've actually preached the gospel to my dog before who yeah who it says every creature Every Creature yeah preach the gospel to the ends are you sure they're not talking about ugly people no no please definely I've seen some creatures bro the reason I I I just I don't like it it it like it it bounces off on me because Here's my thought process when you say yeah they have the same breath my thought is Yahweh right and it's the name of breath I think he is the name of living so like nothing could live without Yahweh that's my thought on that but having a beast that himself doesn't know what the glory of God is to make I think a mockery of prayer yeah yeah yeah it's such a sacred thing like when I pray sometimes I get like I I sit with myself before I even speak to my Lord and I ask my Lord could you help me speak to you properly in a way that I can respect your your awe of creation sure so for me to watch a Tik Tok of like yeah yeah Tommy and then just like sit there bowing his head but keep looking at the camera cuz he wants to actually just eat to me is like are we making a mockery of our relationship with Jesus that makes sense I could see it uh from that standpoint I mean for me personally yeah I mean that makes sense I think honestly uh it comes down to like are we keeping everything gospel centered are we keeping everything god- centered right A lot of people are like oh I want to have my dog see my dog in heaven but that in itself can be kind of like walking that thin line of like not idol worship but more like you know it's like selfish in a way where it's like I want to feel like my dog is going to come with me but the real relationship is not between us and our dogs it's between us and God so I feel like that's something they should focus on more than anything I will admit a lot of people always go uh what's up with your dog and cat like they love the fact that my cat just hangs out with us all the time doesn't leave and our dog has just a beautiful personality kind of like a human to be hon I always make jokes like dude he has a human personality like they'll look at you when you're talking and like I think that it's because I I prayed on them when they were young m and so I used to say to them like yeah they don't know what's going on but because I am their like I know it sounds stupid but I'm their Master yeah yeah but that means I serve one greater master so I I introduced my Beast to my Creator and I was like Hey like these are under my domain but please protect them with their health like God forbid I don't want them running into the street getting hit by a car anything like that like if I if I can't protect them I would love for him to step in and put protection over my animals because I love them and I also do think it's healthy for somebody to like uh raise their kids with animals so they could understand responsibility absolutely dude I found out the other day you give a dog a grape they're dead yeah it's like poison to them imagine you didn't know that I didn't know that I didn't know that either imagine eating a grape a ball size thing and you're like come on up up catch catch and dead now he's dead cuz you didn't know you didn't know now he's dead you know what I'm saying and so like that's a lot of responsibility and so like today we went to the vet to dog and cat both $1,000 that's a lot of money like now I don't want kids anymore because like I'm like this is too much now uh but you said that you've preached to your dog so would you be able to give an example of that or yeah I just told him the gospel basically I'm like hey you know you're righteous you're holy you're Sanctified Hebrews 10:14 to the dog bro and you know it was actually under the know that's okay man you think so well dude well what what makes him holy and Justified he doesn't have the Holy Spirit h i well that's that's the difference for me it was kind of like okay I talked to Pastor about this as well and he says again preach to everything right he's told me before like if you want to get good at preaching the gospel of course you have to have the Holy Spirit but he's like preach to a plant preach to you know this so under that I was actually preaching to to the dog I would love to sit down with you with the gospel and read where that is cuz cuz that uh we will that's a little slippery man think it's beautiful I mean animals are are the creatures of God right and they they OB not the snake they actually messed it up for us so actually that too his name is nashim and he's Serpentine right Sim he's a seraphim so that means like it's he's not actually a snake uh if you read it in the the Hebrew aric con Greek um he's actually a serpentine like a like he's he's a he's a cherubim which is a angel right a fallen angel so he wasn't like a snake on on his belly yeah he wasn't he crawled on his belly absolutely the way they explain it sure but if you read it in the original lexicon he's actually a nakash nashim Sim chob beam yeah they explain it in this way do you understand like do you think animals I don't dude this is going to sound like kind of crazy do you think animals and humans were made to speak to each other in the garden because you know how the that animal spoke to Eve but then we watched Disney Channels where like the the animals are speaking to the people and we look at that like that's lit and like there's Dr doodle like we look at this stuff and we're like that's amazing did we have the ability to speak to animals like that before or I don't know but I feel like how with Noah if you look at Noah's situation how he was able to gather them right and then have I mean you could say it's through the Holy Spirit but yeah I wasn't you know um I I I like I said when I look at it I think about only the gospel and how I see it is if I preach to them what it would let's say like we didn't know right let's say I was wrong our our animals could go to heaven let's say right and I didn't know I like I knew for sure that they could go to heaven but I didn't preach to them then you know it would kind of be like what would be the gamble if I did just preach to them versus not preaching to them do you understand what I'm saying I feel like in my like I grew up in such a a an orthodox Catholic way and then I kind of re-engineered my mind to think more gospel and not tradition based but I guess what it is is like there's a certain type of um order and respect like for example my dog I'm not going to put him close to my mother when she's wearing a nice dress of course so I wouldn't want to share cuz in John 1 it says that the word became flesh so the word of God is Holy I don't know if I feel comfortable giving it to a beast that doesn't even have the coherency to realize the awe of the DD I'm speaking of sure sure so I would love to like talk about question do you believe in uh uh dragons so I well the Bible does talk about the dragon does talk about the Dragon bro bro I would love to okay dude whoa this episode just got real hot real quick um I want to dive into that because the the I don't believe in dinosaurs I believe in dragons sure so we'll get into that at a whole different L at the end we'll like uh we'll push that towards the end so that way people don't tune out and think I'm crazy uh uh but let's let's start here let's start here I I love I love that we're uh getting like we're already I feel like so comfortable with you um I had uh I had a young lady on and she had a relationship with her mother that was no good and she like despised her mom and in that conversation I said well I pray God heals that and herself and the audience did not take well to that and they're like you don't know cuz you grew up with a good father and a good mother you have no idea what this is but I grew up in a world where I seen homes be healed from mothers and fathers that didn't do their jobs but uh the grace of God fell on their children and their children set their generation of curse free you know what I'm saying and so when I saw your story um it excited me because I think a lot of people say oh Jesus chose these 12 disciples because they were great speakers and they could do what uh Jesus was messages to do my thing was he chose broken humans absolutely glorified them not glorified is that right glorified like raised them up edifi edified them sorry that was a Miss misspeaking uh edified them uh exalted them high up so that way people could see wow look where they were from and look what the the glory of God made this man become amen and also Jesus came from um Nazareth where people were like he's a Nazarene bro why are we talking to this guy like so there's a lot of people that came from very very very tough backgrounds because they Now understand the pain and could better communicate it with other people amen and now I'm seeing God use you in such a beautiful way so I want to time travel all the way back before you met that man when you were taking your mother to church before you were sentenced to 10 years before you even found truth in yourself and not anything else I want to know what it felt like being in a home where you don't even know who God is and where you are seeing the head of the household be a a a a ruthless King in his kingdom yeah yeah could you paint me out what what you felt like uh I felt like yeah like everything was unfair and I always felt like there was like a constant hole in my heart because I didn't ask to be born I just was getting beat up for like what I felt like was just being a a child you know and um I've never heard I love you from my father's mouth I've never heard I'm sorry as well so I just always felt like it was a dictatorship like I was under like this communist rule you know what I mean and um yeah he'd beat me beat my mom broke her ribs I mean had see like all kinds of stuff like that beat my brother as well and I realized at a young age that even when there was an instance where I got jumped um by like four Hispanics and when I came home you know I had they took my backpack my shoes everything and I went home and I was like yeah I got jumped you know my dad was like when are you going to stop lying like you just didn't want to do your homework like whatever it was you know and then he dragged me in the room and beat me up so during that time I just realized like you know what I'm not going to be able to trust anybody I can only trust myself so from that age I would say about like 10ish I was already cultivating this mindset like I have to get out of here as soon as possible I need to either join a gang or run away do something and I feel like no 10-year-old should be thinking like that you know but uh I I I want to I want to like just kind of pinpoint something right here um we're we we're living in a time in the country where if we don't agree with somebody they're an outcast they should be Stone to death it's kind of like a Witch Hunt I don't agree with this guy we need to kill him before he tries to brainwash our children and blah blah blah like I would say that I'm more on the Republican end of things but then I watch the way the Republicans are so unmerciful and they have no Grace uh it scares me because now I feel like we're very much divided and the people that should be representing Jesus isn't really representing Jesus properly and what I mean by that is like when I see somebody that's in the streets or maybe somebody who identity issues or anything that I might not understand cuz I didn't walk in his shoes I think he needs to go he's the problem but the truth is he's lived in the problem and so do you see yourself being more merciful because you are able to feel what those children felt or do you think it's now the Holy Spirit giving you wisdom into showing you how to speak to such a wide amount of people I think it's both to be honest I think I've lived it obviously went to California Youth Authority at 12 which is the worst of the worst it's where like child murderers go I've seen people get raped I've seen people get stabbed like at the age of 12 you know so um how does how do you how do you I'm sorry I don't mean to interrupt you but how do you like before Christ entered your life how do you even I in my last episode I said my biggest sorrow is seeing somebody who doesn't even know who Jesus is and operating in a world now I was talking about living on like a world where Instagram and mean people and all that stuff but I don't have a God you're watching things that I don't even care to watch in movies and TV shows because it affects me too much I can't watch it you watch that in real life how did that not turn your heart so cold that even the gospel knocking couldn't even like yeah I think um honestly it was all by Grace it has to be because I was cold for the longest time I was locked up from 12 to 25 and uh went through the whole system right in the prison Pipeline and been on level four yards level three yards I've seen it all and I feel like um I just experienced so much chaos that when something was as peaceful as the gospel like was presented to me that was like my Saving Hope right like I felt like I clinged on to that so for me yeah I seen so much stuff like I seen Satan everywhere bro honestly in in everything even nowadays right so but God was showing me hope and love I had so much hatred in my heart and the one thing that casted all of that out was love love from the pastor who was pouring it into me um just he's he's like my father figure and obviously you know you still have a relationship with this G yes yes I love this story and the reason why this out of all the stories this is what choked me up the most uh that just to paint it out from your perspective from what I've learned and correct me if I'm wrong M but you said you told your mom you're like yeah I'll take you to church but listen I'm not I ain't trying to get like converted I don't want none of that and you're waiting in the car and that man that you're talking about comes out he says hey why don't you have a meal with us but that meal was your favorite meal it was bro you know why that made me emotional is because you've seen a lot of bad things but let's be honest you did a lot of bad things absolutely and you ruined a lot of people's homes from the actions you did but God not only said come eat with me but he says I I I presented your favorite meal amen and to me I was like how merciful of a god do we have that he says not only come into my home the way you are even though you don't want to have a conversation with me but I got this meal that I think you would love that it was first you were filled here before you were filled here amen and what a God we serve so I just wanted to put Praise on that could you paint me out that day so that day my mom's car broke down and she was in San Bernardino my brother was locked up as well he did 14 years in prison um my mom my my dad was still an alcoholic you know he wasn't beating on her as much but he was still drinking and so she called me and you know my mom speaks three different languages um so she was a deacon at the church and also an interpreter and she's like oh my gosh my car broke down it overheated so I went and I picked her up and that you know she didn't try to convert me or anything she was just like I need you to drop me off at church and I was like okay Mom but just so you know right I know how these Christians get you know trying to like indoctrinate me you know and I was like I had that that Vibe right and I was like and by the way your dad poured into you saying stuff like only women are there because they're easily brainwashed like all these so what your father did pour into you wasn't a good look at Christianity absolutely and so as I'm you know uh you know explaining this to her she's like it's okay she was like so busy she's like oh my gosh I'm late like she's about to have a panic attack anxiety through the roof and so we get there and you you know I roll down the window obviously and you smell the the black bean noodle right and that's one thing about a prisoner is they they'll tell you if you've been to prison the two things that's most important to them is food and letters or visitation right that all comes in a package so when I smelled that I had just gotten out of prison and I Tred to keep a gangster you know like in my heart I was like dang this smells fire what does that mean like no I'll pull up on you yeah but I was like but I don't want to read nothing yep that's basically what it was bro I was like oh yeah how you doing Pastor you know but in my head I was like please invite me in honestly you he but that's such a good perspective M he cuz like I think a lot of us get intimidated cuz we're like no they'll shut it down but you're saying in your heart you did want to get invited amen okay please continue so you know he he actually didn't invite me in right away which I thought was crazy he said you know we have these tog go containers I can package it for you and send you on your way and me being Asian you know we break a lot of bread right family style all that so I was like man for some reason that day which I know now is God put it in my heart to say like hey this is disrespectful if you just take the food and then you know you just dip out like that so I was like you know what Pastor I I'll I'll come in and and he's like oh like he was shocked and he's like Okay cool so we sat down and he was just you know after we ate it best black bean noodles I've ever had from the Lord right best bro I man it's crazy but um the one thing he asked me was you know well two two questions he said um are you a sinner and um do you do you know what sin is right and I'm just like obviously I felt like that was a loaded question like look at my body you know I'm tatted down it's not like I ran out of paper and Drew on it like you know it's like I'm a Gangster so obviously yeah you know and I was like and sin is doing evil things which I've done a lot of and I know where I'm going to go like I'm I'm okay with it I'm going to go to hell and he's like not so right and I was like what and that's when he started to plant the seed and said of my heart so yeah wow you know I'm starting to understand uh it's none of us that does the converting oh yeah dude you know it took me so long to understand that cuz I understood that when I was getting so frustrated that somebody wasn't understanding my point of view and I was like trying so hard I'm like dude are you dumb like how do you not understand this and I'm just keep banging my head up against the wall now this is a religious friend so we we both see that Jesus is Christ but there was this this difference that I think is one's idolatry and one's not and I'm like dude are you dumb like I'm just going back and forth back and forth back and forth but the reason I was getting angry is cu I think that subconsciously we think we're the ones that are doing it when it's truly God saying no no no you go plant the seed and just like a farmer which you don't even really think about when you hear the words plant a seed you don't think bro a farmer could plant a seed all he wants but if the rain Don't Rain yeah and the soil is not going to do its job yeah yeah there's nothing there's nothing there amen so there's something spiritual and beautiful that uh works and I think that that man held the the mouth of God when I speak to somebody on the street and I really feel like God wants me to speak to him I always ask him to speak through me because I I don't know what I'm going to say to this kid amen but have you ever been preaching to somebody in your you could see in their eyes they get lit up because you hit something that they're like how did you even know this about me when I watched you talk about this the first time you said that he was speaking to you as if he already knew you I truly with my heart I would love to discuss this with you I don't see that man I think that was a vessel I think that the glory of God poured onto him absolutely to come to the car grab I think that's why he was shocked when he said yeah he was like oh okay dang I didn't know but his spirit's like yeah that's why we got that black beans ready and this is why you're going to ask him these two questions that are going to throw him completely off amen amen and uh please continue because this story leads to like something so beautiful so he explained to me the concept of sin original sin I used to think that sin was an action essentially but he was saying it as if sin was an identity so he told me it was two things he said uh for example Johnny you're Chinese you didn't choose to be Chinese born that way he kind of made a joke you know he's like if you eat orange chicken or if you watch Kung Fu movies does that make you more or less Chinese and I said no what the heck is this guy talking about he's little racist but I'm like what's going on here right and so he he was like um you know whether you you know eat Asian food or act Asian Chinese you're still Chinese no matter what and it's because it's it's inherited so your father was Chinese his father his father then he busted out Romans CH 5:12 which tells us through one man Adam sent into the world and death right so it was inherited unto us and he was explaining a little bit about Cain and how Cain was a murderer no one taught him how to murder no one taught him Covetous and Envy in his heart but he just he produced that so he said you're normal that's the first time I ever heard like you sinning doing all those evil things was normal and I was like what my CDC number I'm known by my CD California Department of Correction number my ya number Youth Authority number so people are always telling me that you have issues you're mental it's over for you you you know you're going to burn in hell I've had chaplain tell me that in prison you know and and cuz I would I would I was Muslim so like uh for three years in prison so I would super debate and I like Jesus did this he's a prophet you guys are wrong blah so you know um Pastor was telling me that sin is not an action it's an identity you're born that way the second thing is John 16:9 tells us that sin is uh unbelief meaning what you think affects the way you feel and the way you feel affects Behavior he said Johnny you didn't know that so when you're lustful or when you want to rob somebody you're trying to fix the behavior but it's already bled through your mind and your heart basically so if you stop it at the root which is the the thought process that's when you actually can stop it from manifesting into Behavior he's like so you're trying to you know like take care of your own life you're an imperfect person trying to produce Perfection by yourself and that's why you keep living happy sad happy sad up and down up and down and what he called it sin repent sin repent lifestyle you'll sin and then you try to like do better and then change your mind and turn away from it and then you'll sin again so you keep going this up and down and that's why you were empty that's what really hit me cuz I was like he doesn't know me I've never told him I was empty I'm acting all happy and you know cool he put the facade on put the mask on right and he was like I know you bro you know so I asked him Pastor how do you know me right and he's like I don't know you but the Bible knows you you know my pastors have read read the Bible 70 plus times you know at this point so he's like like he says he he thinks in verses and at first you know I didn't understand that now however when I'm reading I'm like oh my gosh verses just pop up you know randomly when a person is speaking I'm like oh why am I thinking about King Nebuchadnezzar right now I I did that too and I think that's I I think that's when you know you're working with Christ because when people want to speak from their opinion and their yeah that's wrong that's wrong and now when I'm preaching with people or if I'm praying with people on the street I always tell them like even on this podcast I'm like guys I'm this podcast is special because I'm new and I'm learning don't learn from me I'm still learning you should learn from the one true master and that's the gospel uh and then when I see people putting their own opinion on things um a lot of people come up to me and they're like uh the Bible's up for interpretation it's not that's against the Bible the Bible says it's not it's not so when you're in prison and you read uh the Quran three times and you read the gospel twice but nothing happens I'd love to talk about this because there's so many people that know the gospel yeah but they don't obey the gospel sure I know for certain Satan knows the gospel for sure but he doesn't obey the gospel so how can we get a man to open up his heart to God when he's like I've read the gospel and and there's so much hatred and I can tell who he's serving because of his actions and his fruit of course how do we talk to a man like that that's hard to wrestle with that's very angry and and aggressive and he's dealt with a lot of things where he's given both of his cheeks and now he wants to give both of his fists so like how do we talk to a gentleman like that yeah I usually look at it as Romans chap 7: 15 I love how he brought up a verse again I like that yeah um because it says for the things that do I I don't allow for the things that I want to do I don't do and the things that I hate that I do and then if you read down five verses is Romans 7:20 says if I do the things that I don't want to do it is no longer I who do it but sin that dwelleth in me so I look at them as it's not them there's a there's a specific type of like sin right inside of us that's dragging us so when I would for example rob somebody right and this is what allowed me to humanize my father this is what allowed me to humanize everybody my youngsters you know these little gang members who are all about I want to kill and I want to you know I don't care about God I want to Earn Stripes and I want to be Instagram famous for like catching bodies there's so many kids nowadays like this I start to see that hey it's not you who's saying that it's the sin inside of you they just don't know that right so um I kind of also they're they're they're doing what you said and to be honest you opened up my eyes when I saw this and it was so perfect the way you said it you said I trusted in myself mhm beautifully said man you have a you have such a magnificent tongue like the way you describe things and shape things and explain your thoughts are just beautiful you like a poet with your words sorry to cut you off but I wanted to put that in cuz that really opened my eyes yeah so you know i' I've been able to just see that uh when people come clearly it could be projection but it's like you say trusting in themselves well in my opinion in my belief this is my standard I'm sorry to say but like if you're truly called to be a Christian right you the root word of Christian is Christ it means to serve God above your thoughts your feelings and all that in order to be a disciple you must deny yourself however a lot of people have turned into these means and aans in my opinion and what I feel and what I think so that's why there's one Bible 44,000 denominations is because people are adding their thoughts into it you get what I'm saying so I've learned like you can't just like you said second Timothy basically you cannot interpret the scripture scripture has to interpret scripture right so that's why we have to it's like kinetic chain you got to link it all together and um you know with people like that I I actually just feel for them I try to come with a servant mindset because I've tried that I used to line it up with my homies you know my homies would we would fight literally my first year this is embarrassing and I'm being honest you guys hear it first on George Jin podcast I used to I used to be exactly like that you know I'm a Gangster at the end of the day but in the beginning so uh people would disrespect me oh look at you you're serving a white God I'm like he's not even white you know I get angry right and yeah he's right and I'm like you're you're so stupid you know and oh you're bro you're Chinese you're supposed to be Buddhist I'm like Buddha is like not even from China bro he's from India like you know and I'm just like we start arguing and and as two gang members you know start arguing it's like what what you say and we stand up and I would I would actually get physical with them we would fight and this was the thing I'm like okay let's line it up right and I'm like if if I win you come to church with me like it was literally like it was crazy right and I would win but the one thing is they would not come that's so funny well yeah cuz what are you going to do beat their ass and they're going to go to church dog that's not how you do it how long after is this that you you know you met the pastor and then he knocked out your heart how long that was like maybe 3 months after okay and I I I I was like okay I'm going to evangelize now I'm sold out for the gospel and then I meet my homies and I start to tell them and they're like they look at me like I'm smoking crack you know what I'm saying they're like yo there's something wrong with you I'm peaceful bro I'm righteous you're righteous Johnny like if you're righteous bro we're all righteous you know it's like no we are and then you're preaching it I'm like we are Hebrews like what the heck are you talking about so yeah we what a life though you went from like selling drugs on the corner to preaching on the corner that's a massive difference yeah yeah I really interested to know that day that the pastor told you this information right I mean I heard that you were only out of prison for what 62 days from the time that you were 12 to 25 yeah so your whole life you're being told you're Wicked and this man tells you you're not yeah so how did you I mean this is a revelation what did you do when you went home and how long did it make that change for you to really understand to sit down and like learn the gospel and apply it to your life so actually it was that same day he was explaining to me that you know you're normal uh I started to feel a little bit of Hope in my heart like I've never felt that before I thought you know just being empty all the time was a normal thing and it was so much so that it bled into like my tattoos as well you know a lot of people think why why would you get tto is because I got to a point where I was so empty that I couldn't feel anything and the only thing I could feel was pain so that's why like I would get tatted cuz I'm like oh at least I feel human even if it's pain cuz I just felt like I was existing right rather than living so I believe this is why people cut themselves too absolutely absolutely so um you know that day when he said you're normal and that's the reason why you're empty is because you're imperfect trying to be perfect I felt like that inkling of Hope enter my heart and I was like oh my gosh this is crazy and so I looked at him like the person who had the antidote Through the Bible of course to help me so I just made that decision to kind of like lean towards him like and listen to what he had to say and and that day he was it was basically told me to go apologize to my father I mean a bunch of stuff happened but told me to say sorry to my dad um asked me how our relationship was and I was like it's horrible I don't I want anything to do with him he didn't visit me once in prison even when I got out he didn't pick me up like we were EST stranged for so long so I was just like you know what he's dead to me and that's okay I'm okay with that but then he told me to apologize to him and then you know bringing in those verses Romans 7:15 7:20 saying that essentially we are both two boats caught in a storm like a raging storm and you know the storm is is Satan essentially dragging your father having him stressed out and following his thoughts too no one taught him this way no one told him you know being empty was not normal so he also you know drank to uh essentially medicate himself right and self soth and he said you're the same you guys are both two boats in a storm and fighting the same storm basically you guys are teammates not Rivals and that allowed me to see like oh my gosh we're actually similar in that way because he would beat my mom he would beat me and then he would never say sorry to me but I would see him from time to time like away from us like apologizing to my mom like I'm so sorry I don't know why I did that and in my head I would judge him if you don't want to do it stop drinking and I didn't understand these verses right so when he told me to apologize he said that you're right that you know you don't want to apologize cuz I told him you know I I said the f word right I was like f that I'm not trying to apologize to this dude he has to say sorry to me he has to bend over backwards for me he has to come out and reach out right which is is understandable and there's a lot of children and men to be honest that are in that position right now yeah how could if you could talk to somebody that's in that position right cuz you were willing to hear that out but some people are so hurt and so broken and as much as you had a dark history right there might be women that had a darker history so how do we how do we get them to even understand the of forgiveness because what is about to happen next what we'll get into would not only happen if you made that decision to step forward what was that thought and that feeling that made you do it and are are you excited that you made that decision yeah so he definitely it was a pastor uh Holy Spirit through him of course explaining to me that you're right but you're miserable and that was something that hit me like a truck right I was like like dang he said because when you go out respectfully he said you look at other people I'm sure and you probably feel you know very very sad right you feel kind of like wronged because your father uh didn't treat you like that you see other people in their father's planing and you know having that fatherson bond that you so desperately wanted but because you're right you're also miserable so he used analogy of a war two countries go to war why do they go to war because both sides are fighting for what they believe in they trust that they're right and what happens then you know buildings are broken casualties lives lost you know railroads everything broken chaos everywhere there is no peace but Johnny what I want to teach you in the Bible through faith he said is when you learn to be wrong like just like in the war one side is wrong everything just stops right things get rebuilt railroads communication building peace starts to flow in so he said it's not about you forgiving your father uh for your father it's not enabling him it's actually for you forgiveness is for yourself for you to grow and I don't want to see that those chains on you and right there obviously I cried you know and I was like okay let me just hear the pastor out you know let me follow what he says even though I this is the first day I met him right but I was able to see like what he's saying it's it's not only it's so simple to understand but it's so profound it's so deep and no one's ever explained that to me so my job nowadays is just replicating that making something that's so like hard I I deal with people all the time I've dealt with this lady for example who was like it's all fine and dandy that you forgave your father and God is good and he's making you you know she was drunk I could smell it on her breath she came to one of our conferences that I was speaking at in Oakland she said my my daughter got hit by a straight bullet though and she was like 7 years old she didn't do anything wrong she died tell me why God would allow that and she was like yelling at me why why you know and I was just like dang so I told her I'm sorry I don't know why God allowed that I'm not God what I can say though is if you think about your daughter and let's say hypothetically she could speak right now do you think your daughter would be like mom every time you think about me drink be sad be miserable and she just started crying and I said but I said I don't think she would say that and I and I said I think she would say Mom I'm sorry I'm not there I'm sorry I can't be with you I'm sorry we couldn't go to my you know graduation and you see me off in a wedding however mom I want you to be happy want you to be happy and live happy she started crying now she's going to our church up there but it's like you know why do you have the courage to speak to somebody so bluntly I think because it's I'm not afraid I I live in front of God not in front of man so I'm like listen God you're helping me I don't know why it's just coming out of me so I just spoke to to to her in that way and she just opened up you know and I feel like God is uh has given me like you said the ability to have that discernment through the through the gospel and I could just see like she wanted to be freed I could just feel it in her you know she came that day yeah she came it's like she you know and and I I I tend to look more inward right then outward whereas a lot of people are very superficial you know no disrespect but it's true so when I look at them I'm like you know um it's it's I could see that there was just something in her heart verses were popping out right Jeremiah 29: 11 these and I was like oh God wants to give her peace she wants peace so badly but she's beefing it with God right now and so I I was just by faith I was like I'm going to say this and God if you allow it and you edify it then handle if not I'm not going to sit here and go well why did I do that and you know so amen Sermon on the Mount hits me when you talk about that I am the one I'm with the ones who mourn and like imagine if you just keep walking away from your peace mhm the Prince of Peace is wanting that relationship with you so it's going to be tough like people think he's wicked for doing this but it's such a gentleman thing to do it's like I'll be here when you need me yeah like what kind of friend is that imagine imagine if I treated you the way that people treat God you wouldn't want anything to do with absolutely you like dude you only call me when you you're me right right and um I want to take a little like uh I want to take a step forward and I want you to paint me out the picture where you're like okay like I'm going to speak to my dad uh because saying it with your mouth is one thing doing it with your actions is a whole different thing what what did you feel like standing before like the man who should have raised youh and the only thing you want to raise is your hands on them like how do you like well how do you put away your emotions cuz like for myself dude I I know who Jesus is and quite frankly every time I apologize is when I let my emotions get to me like so how did you you don't even know Jesus yet so how did you go from just experiencing a glimpse of him to having the ability to hold and with hold your emotions towards your father how do you how do you get there yeah so I uh after Pastor explained that you know concept to me that being right makes you miserable he asked me don't you want to be happy don't you want to live peacefully this is one of the steps that you do have to take and he said Johnny don't add any of your thoughts to what I'm saying and I was like what that's crazy right don't add any of your thoughts because every time you added your thoughts let's go rob somebody I'm going to make money you ended up miserable don't add basically telling me don't trust your thoughts how how could you go from a father I'm just I'm just asking you questions so that way if God willing it'll open up some other heart how do you from a home where your dad's like come here don't listen to those people they brainwash you they try to change your mind to see the way they're saying for a stranger that I've never met to tell me don't add my own thoughts buddy it's on site what are you trying to do you why would you even try to take my thought what you why are you why why so prior to that he also showed me Genesis 6:5 so he's showing you the gospel yeah he's like all of our thoughts are only evil continually but Johnny do you really think all your thoughts are evil and I was like no you have thoughts that you love your homies you'll die for people etc those are good thoughts but then he said read the first three words of that verse King James version and God saw so right then I was able to see oh my gosh when I see something versus when God sees something completely different could you elaborate that yeah so God was saying in Genesis 6:5 and God saw the wickedness of man that it was great in the earth and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually so where do we only think bad thoughts yeah so what about the good thoughts you were thinking yeah so according that that's what I was thinking I was like Pastor I feel like I have good thoughts and he goes the difference between the word of God and your thoughts is that your thoughts are always changing the word of God doesn't change so if you if you think of a liar he says right a liar says one thing but does another thing and then changes back and forth flipflop as we say so we're all liars basically right let let let God be true it says so he's saying Johnny your thoughts they trick you Satan is a con man he'll lay something into your brain that is good but only to con on you like basically you know how like pimps kind of manipulate you know women right and how like a con artist will come and only spew good things at first but it leads you to like you know invest this money into into this company and then they steal everything from you right Satan is a thief in the night right he comes to kill steal and destroy so he was basically explaining that concept to me in just the most basic terms because I was not even a baby Christian I was literally like a unbeliever so he's explaining to me every time you trusted your thoughts I'm going to join a gang how did it work out and I was like oh snap that's true you wanted this girl let's say how did that work out she's not you loved her she played you I mean you did drugs you're like I'm going to be happy how did that work out so he was basically like dissecting and kind of breaking down every single time I trusted my thoughts and he's like 90% of the time I would say you probably you know went like the path of Destruction when you trusted your thoughts so that really put it in perspective like you know what I don't know this guy but clearly he's speaking directly to my soul and he doesn't have to tell me like what does he what Ben what what like what's benefiting him for him telling a gang member like me who I could just take off on him he's short by the way right so I'm like I could just punch this dude out easily you know like what he's sitting here going and and and mind you has like broken English he has an interpreter so this is all through a translator by the way wow yeah so he's like speaking and he's like don't trust your thoughts and I'm like okay like I'm not understand in him right but as he's breaking it down I start to realize oh my gosh like he is saying something that's true it's undeniable and he was calm about it he wasn't forcing he was just like Johnny I want you to be happy and I really saw that in his heart there's a lot of people who say I want you to be happy but in their hearts and their actions it's not that right so when I seen that I was like okay like let me just follow and so fast forward I end up calling my dad and um you know I like I actually tried to cancel on him this is a part I left out in softw underbelly I was like you know what Dad it's cool like you know he's like oh what do you mean all right whatever he got kind of mad right and so I called my pastor right away and he's like Johnny come come to the church let's talk so before I met my dad what made you want to cancel cuz I I had all these thoughts I was like you're stupid oh you were depending on your thoughts and told you to avoid right I was like you're dumb if he says if what if my dad goes yeah that's right you should and I I'm kill him I'm going to kill him I'm going kill it's not even sock in the face bro I'm going kill him and I'm a two strike by the way I don't mean to be laughing I mean it's just comedic that you're like I'm going to have to kill him yeah I was pissed right so I'm like okay what H and I had all these thoughts and then so Pastor comes and again with food he makes some fish for me and he's like Johnny it's okay he's like but you have to think deeply about your thoughts too I said think about my thoughts what are you talking about he said because think about it every single time you did drugs were you like I shouldn't be doing this no you're like let's go let's party but it's weird right and I'm like what do you mean it's weird that you have these thoughts of apologizing to your father and something is telling you don't do it don't do it don't do it and that's got Goosebump that's yeah and that's when I was like where was those thoughts during the drugs and the jail and the robbing all that wow so he's like it's Satan trying to stop you and block you from your blessings amen and so I was like amen so I I was like okay and and again even though I'm driving they're just popping up and then he tells me Johnny trash inside of a trash can is okay right it's when the trash comes out and it's all over your bed and it's all over your house that's when it becomes an issue your mind is like a trash can you will have those thoughts just leave them there it's okay you don't have to have it come out and into fruition and and in action so when I went there I saw my dad it was T how did you get back to having him on uh so yeah I called him and I was like let's you know how was his energy there when you called like come on dude going back and forth yeah he was basically like what are you doing like I have stuff to do and and immediately a thought shut up you mean you got to drink more like what you know like maybe you had a sun to raise like for real bro but it's like you know I had those thoughts honestly being real and raw and I was like man this guy but to fight your flesh hard yeah it was it was tough so I was like let's meet up and I was like I I'll pay for the food you know blah blah blah he's like Okay cool so we meet up and again I see him and he's just like fidgeting right he's like I remember this vividly he's doing this and he's like and he's sighing and I and I get there his heart is probably racing heart's racing just watching you imitate him dude yeah and I was like I sat there and I felt like like I was in a dream it was weird you know I felt the cold sweats I felt anxiety it felt like when I was fighting my case like it felt like dang I'm meeting this dude and I'm like I'm shocked that I'm seeing him but I also also felt kind of Peace it was a a internal conflict right so I sat down we're eating vienamese noodle soup F right and um uh I'm staring at the Chopsticks you know he's staring like at the wall you know and it's just weird so in my head I'm like hearing pastor's voice right Johnny just apologize it's okay so I say Dad I'm sorry you know sorry that I was a bad son I'm sorry that you know I I was like a gang member and I wasn't there for you you know and my dad just looks up at me and then he just starts balling just balling his eyes sorry please take your time bro so I was what a beautiful moment bro yeah I was really shocked and it just and I was just you know and so I remember him just crying and he's like you know still has his hands clasped and he's like crying and he's like no son he's like I'm sorry you know he's like I'm truly sorry for being a bad father I'm truly sorry he said I couldn't stop drinking I wanted to but I couldn't and I just remember like my body just getting up and like hugging him you know and it was like 20 some odd years of pain it was really gone [Music] you when I think about that I was so thankful then we sat there you know I didn't even care I didn't care I used to care about what people thought about me everyone's looking at us like what the hell is going on you know but when I seen him I was just like dang dad like I told him I remember hugging him I said I love you and then he just looked at me like what the hell how can you love me and that's when all of Romans seven came to my heart truly and I was like wow he didn't know my dad really didn't want to be this way he just he knew that he was messing up but he had no control over himself like I could finally see it and um you know I was just so thankful towards Pastor till this day I'm I still you know um under the guidance of my pastor and he always tells me the same thing every day we have our morning meetings Johnny never trust your thoughts always remember where you came from if you trust Johnny changen you don't trust the Bible you trust Johnny you can only end up in three places prison strung out on the streets or dead and you know that really hit me you know and yeah after that it was just I moved into the church you know my father was like seeing that I didn't have the homies over anymore he would see me carry a gun all that no more carrying a pistol no more drugs and he was just like dang what this guy changed so he himself actually I didn't even have to preach to him he goes with my mom and goes I want to talk to this pastor like who is this guy that changed my gang member son you know into living this way and um he went to my pastor and my my pastor preached the same thing my Dad cried too I found out through my pastor that my dad had actually killed somebody uh committed manslaughter at the of 19 he killed somebody and that's what he was drinking so the whole time I was thinking man I want to murder this dude he was murdering himself yeah yeah and I was like dang I didn't know you know how could you hey and and by the way bro you did your job amen do you know what I mean I know that there's a part of you the Johnny that you're you're your disciple is telling you not to listen to I really really want you to understand bro there's going to be a part of you that felt like oh man I should have known I should have this I should have done that God is forever the same yesterday today and tomorrow the same way that you were telling that woman like I don't know why that young lady died with that bullet I could confidently tell you I know why God withheld that wisdom from you because there's going to be a time where you share it in the appropriate time to set not only other Johnny but their fathers away from where you going amen your bloodline was in Chains and you're the one that stepped up and brought the Lord into your life and then your fruits were so Heavenly that even your father wanted to sit at the table with you yeah every knee shall fall willing or non willll and because of you sir you your father your mother are willingly going to walk into that Kingdom amen so please don't ever hold any of that weight on you man please don't please amen thank you bro yeah sorry I didn't know I was going to cry thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing it with us and I mean did you I mean I just can only imagine like did you ever think you would sit across from your father after all that time you know all those years and be able to finally see each other for the first time yeah I mean never I thought I was going to die or he was going to die without without me and I was I'm not proud to say but I was okay with that and I was okay with that but now knowing my dad you know we meet every week I talked about coming on this podcast and I said dad like it's George jenko you know he's like who you know I said you want to come you know like just pull up and eat after he's like where I'm like vanise he's like TOA I'm like for Show Pops I got you you know but um it's it's it's just amazing you know that we can have such a good relationship I'm having my live event on the 14th he's pulling up you know so people are going to be like you know able to see him witness it witness you know so through through me and my my mother my brother was saved my father was saved you know so it's just beautiful and not only you guys man like what you're doing is like there's a lot of people that are are wiping their face with the same tears that you have and they'll never even meet you bro but God is using you and he's sharpening you for this type of War amen um before I even like forget or we move on um that was your Lazarus effect right God n it's dead it's moved on it can't live anymore sure that relationship is dead until he says Lazarus come out and then the family weeps MH and Jesus sits there and weeps with them but not because he thinks that he can't bring this man to life but because they have no faith mhm there's somebody listening to you right now as we speak on this podcast where they're dealing with their Lazarus effect where it's like no that job is dead or that father is dead or that my son is dead to me there there's so much separation because they're relying on themselves and their own emotions what would you say to them to say like hey man if you trust God that impossible thing MH you will instead of drowning you'll walk on water yeah what do you think will get them to take that step so they could feel that that you have now because I feel like that's your job now I feel like that's your mission I think that's what gets you out of bed now is like y I need we're I think it was um you know Bishop Mari Mari oh the dude who got attacked yeah oh he said a line that stuck with me he says um Jesus came uh for the Dead Walking and I think we're all dead walking mhm like you said there was a missing aspect of you yeah what can a man do if he's read the Bible like you twice maybe even the Quran three times same thing I'm reading it it's just not hitting what is that submission look like is it tapping the floor is it crying and screaming at the sky sure what is it for them to sit and talk to their father mhm what what would you think that their Lazarus Mission would need I think um it all starts with distrusting like well first it starts with how the Pastor T taught me which was assessing your situation there has to be a level of self-awareness and if people are rejecting the gospel they are at least pretty self-aware right they understand you know CU it takes a lot like logical brain people to like reject the gospel they're going to be like well how does a man defy gravity walk on water and like they're very logical right so one thing I would say is you know if you're going to be logical that's fine but assess through logic how you've LED your life right if you trust yourself how has it like if everything in your thoughts if every move that you made and you know uh your decisions where has it led you to and just be honest with yourself right and I had to do that to myself like I was very logical analytical and I was like it doesn't make sense I'm not going to believe in Jesus but when the pastor offered that perspective of okay let's say you're right Johnny but did you plan on going to prison did you plan on you know getting shot I've been shot I've been stabbed probably not you were looking at at your the gang Life as a way out you had good intention but basically the road to hell is paved by Good Intentions right you have to actually really assess and he kind of challenged me in this way like Johnny think about it deeply you know so I would say the same to people listening if you're happy by all means but clearly if it's not entering and you're you know we all deal with that depression and that loneliness um if if you have to really think about if you didn't plan that why is that in our hearts we didn't plan to be lonely we didn't plan to live up and down roller coaster lifestyle so it means basically we can't lead our lives right that's the one thing about Christianity that I learned whether it was you know I was practicing Buddhist Buddhism I was practicing Islam all those religions teach you to do well Christianity truly is the religion that teaches you you can't do it without Jesus you just can't I was literally maintaining couldn't get out of depression couldn't get out of loneliness I can only maintain it doing drugs being on proag Olaf 80s all that but God was like no I'll lift you out of that so for people who are struggling with that I would say really you have to give it a chance but you have to get to that position of okay let me be real with myself is am I leading my life okay and if not what do you actually have to lose by trying to apply this if a gang member like me honestly who went from shooting people getting shot you know to not believing in God to fighting people about it to becoming a Muslim just to argue with people and win right than to change my life this way it's not it cannot be me like I'm very very logical I you know you'd have to prove it to me Jesus himself had to come down but it was because I didn't understand the the value of Grace right we need Grace we need everything even like to wake up in the morning to go against God God has to give us Grace to even even do that you know he has to give us the breath in our lungs to even walk this you know I worship I do this no he has to give you Grace for that everything foundationally is based off of God's grace and he's such a good God because he knows you're not going to you know listen at times right I don't listen at times but he knows that you know what even if that's the case I still love you guys he he wants us to choose him he cannot force us because love is not something that's forced he wants to he wants to choose a relationship with him so I would say to those people listening in you know I chose and if you're logical you can see the way that God has elevated me and edified me was not anything I could ever fathom I just was like okay so this pastor who has hope in his heart I have hatred in my heart let me just connect to him like an outlet and it flows into me so I I'm just like whatever pastor says it may not make sense right especially he's not even a gang member he grew up as a PK he's from another country and yet he's telling me don't trust your thoughts follow me I promise I'll lead you correctly I've read the Bible X amount of times I know the heart precisely Through the Bible and I will guide you only through the Bible when I listen to that person my life elevated now I don't have those thoughts where I sit at home at night you know and and I'll have one thought answerer oh you're inadequate you're lonely and then it starts to snowball everybody goes through this you know and um you know you snowballs you feel this pressure in your chest tears down your face next thing you know you're like I want to un alive myself what's my purpose in life so many people watching this they feel that even now but I've learned don't trust your thoughts because once you realize those thoughts are not from you and it's from Satan then you're able to break free from that you know I've been like depression free I mean like I said I've seen like psychologists I've you know went to anger management counseling therapy all that none of that stuff honestly filled my heart it helped temporarily it's a Band-Aid sure but you know God really was pouring through the word don't trust your thoughts so that's why I've read the Bible so much it's not because I'm trying to flex I don't like reading I have a GED education and pastors like read KJV it's Clos as to Hebrew Aramaic con Greek I'm like these thou Arts what the heck is all this stuff right but as I read that I can see the word of God uh replacing my thoughts that are only evil right Isaiah 55:7 and 8 says my thoughts are not your thoughts neither are my ways your ways God is literally saying my the way you think Johnny is not the way I think so many people think though well I have Godly thoughts too sure of course that's in our standard but if God is saying something then that's what it is amen you know praise God it is so beautiful the way that you are able to be reflective on your life your actions and then the understanding that that God has granted you you're able to paint such a beautiful picture and you've given me so much wisdom from things I've watched from you I'm like oh wow like the way you're able to explain it and then people can relate to you you're going to move mountains for the people who need someone in front of them to be like he understands me he he went through similar life as me true and something that I'm interested to know how you feel about when you were in juvenile the tension um you said that that almost kind of put and correct me if I'm wrong it kind of pushed you a little bit more towards the criminal life right 100% you saw even more evil you wanted to even do more evil so how do you think that these juvenile detentions can go about kind of changing that and fix and helping these kids versus pushing them towards yeah I think um honestly where I was it was even worse than juvenile hall so we had to be admitted right they called this juvenile Wards so it's almost like an insane asylum and it's called the California Youth Authority people watching this they know what I'm talking about right and um they had to assess you do a mental like it was just crazy right so um those facilities are now most of them are closed because there was you know crazy stories but yeah like I've seen people you know children doing this to children like rapes and crazy stuff like that and then cosos correctional officers also being predatory towards the kids as well so it's just the people who that's why I said it makes you a monster right and I'll share this story which is crazy but there was a kid who was getting you know taken advantage of of as we say in prison it's called turned out he was getting turned out by these these boys right and then this correctional officer was like okay he's like he wanted to get moved out to like lock up a different uh Cottage right and he goes okay I'll move you but basically you have to sleep with me and that was happening every day so the the kid had to decide okay I'm going to choose between getting gang raped or if it's just one person and eventually like I think he was like 14 15 he killed himself right so this is these are the facilities that I grew up in essentially right and um yeah it cultivates you to become a monster honestly so um the one thing that we have to do believe as cliche as it sounds is plant hope inside of kids Hearts right if you're really there you have to that's why I said it's gospel centered everything if you don't have the gospel you're only going to give them Band-Aids sooner or later people will become corrupt you know you give people a level of authority and they start to walk around with this like I control this I run this you know I was in prisons where they they did Gladiator school which is they would pit the correction officers would pit people against each other and fight and bet you know what I mean and like it's just a bunch of crazy stuff you know so again Satan is very real in these facilities and the only way to combat it is not just Rehabilitation but spiritual Rehabilitation you have to have the gospel in that's why when we go to Lancaster State Prison Chino CRC Norco these places that I go we teach these things where it's like you know uh people will come and they're agnostic Buddhist Muslim and more than 90% after our 16we course or 52e course convert wow yeah so it's like you know it's our way of teaching them from the ground up you know and of course we have people like Johnny you're you're Christian Christianity they come in and they debate but when they see that from our hearts we just want them to be happy it's not like I'm right you need to listen to me it's more of like hey I I'm happy like it's all you can eat buffet you know do you want to accept this if not it's cool we plant the seed and kind of like what George was saying you know God reaps that that seed right so I I just go in there and I'm like listen I'm not going to try and talk better relate to them I'm just going to my job is United States Postal Service I'm just here to drop off the message you know what I mean like I don't care if you're a convicted Fel and I don't care if you're you know LGBT whatever it is like we're just going to plant the message and that's it so I never debate people yeah do you talk to when you go in do you talk to them as groups do you have one-on ones yeah i' love to be a part of one yeah bro you should pull up with me yeah lrae I was on lra's podcast he's like bro we got to do this like we got to 100x this you know because he has a lot of family members in prison too so um our and then through that they're doing integrated yards now meaning you know the politics are dying in Lancaster we are very responsible for that you know we're teaching people that humanizing people hey this person might have have been here for this crime but under God we all fall short so stop looking at people like well I'm better than you yeah I shot somebody but like I didn't do X Y and Z no we're all the same under God and so when we plant that inside of people it heals from the ground up right so um yeah I would we just do that and we're trying to replicate that everywhere you know beautiful thank you for doing that of course amen yeah that was deep sorry that story where you talking to me about how they transfer out that that kind of wrecked me man um wow wow man how do you um different level different devil every time you go higher up the devil gets a little bit on you appr sure um what do you do to fill yourself up and to balance the weight of preaching the gospel I see two men when they're preaching the gospel one who's up there and he's truly with his heart like showing his flaws yeah and trying to weigh them out and show people what's going on and then we have the false teachers yeah I'm getting into a place because I've gone up and down with this right I'll see somebody be like false teacher rip him down and kill him right and then I'm like well I don't even know how he's getting tested so I can't I I am having a hard time understanding who's falling short and who's actually doing what their job is I'll give myself as an example I could watch myself when I know the spirit of God's speaking through me and then when I'm being arrogant thinking I know it and I'm being like the guy sure um how do you get yourself to stay grounded and humble because when I see you debate with people you're so Meek and like I could tell like going from the streets where if somebody even looks at you the wrong way it's on site I'm taking your shoes as well right to I'm going to let you disrespect me and I'm going to eat it and I'm going to sit here and not let my emotions dictate where I take this conversation this is my new chapter so I would love to learn from you because sometimes I'm not a street dude but to me it's like if somebody dishonors my God I take that so personally bro he's the only thing in my life that didn't wrong me so if you speak on him in a disrespectful way I I don't mind losing my life for this like don't you're doing me a favor I'm going to go see the guy quicker right how do you get yourself to go from a Peter who's cutting a man's ear off to a Peter where he's rebuking Gentiles for being Gentiles sure um I think it all starts with servitude um I've learned that a lot of people they love God there's an Ethiopian unic there's Lydia in the Bible there's Cornelius the one trait that they had was they were very on fire for the for for God but they didn't know the gospel so a lot of people are very on fire charismatic you know but they don't actually know because maybe they're gospel literacy or they're not gospel fluent so my job is just to understand like oh they don't understand and that even like like little kids you know like I have a kid at at at our church named Isaiah baby Isaiah he's super cute but sometimes he's like I'll beat you up you he's five now right I'm not like what' you say you better right I'm like oh he's cute he doesn't know what he's saying you know like but if he said that to me [Laughter] yeah yo hey you if you're the same height it's going down oh my gosh I'm just kidding no but but you know it goes back to the point of like they don't know and when I look at them I start to realize like hey they they want to love God they just don't know how to love God because if you're not in your word John 1:14 which you brought up the word was made flesh and dwelt Among Us people are reading the Bible as if it's just a book it's actually Jesus right God In the Flesh so if you don't read your book but you're focused on your feelings and you know maybe a couple verses then it makes sense that they would only have their own interpretation and have that puffed upness as we say that arrogance so for me I just always look at it as oh they don't know people come in my lives all the time and they'll be like you know I do I IG lives YouTube lives Tik talk and they'll be like well Johnny you're the way you're saying it is as if we're like a a license to sin we could just do whatever we want and I'm like oh when he's saying that it's because he thinks he doesn't sin however he want but it's he doesn't know that sin is an is an identity it's not an action so I'm not going to be like you think you sin how like I'm going to be like hey this is what sin is according to the Bible and nine times out of 10 bro you win them over cuz they'll be like oh okay cool thank you for not like steamrolling me you know rather you're telling me hey like this is what sin is let's look at it from this perspective so I've learned I was in on Jubilee you know there was basically um that's the one I was talking about I saw a clip and I was like wao this guy has patience bro yeah patience dude yeah uh that's that's a that's a a trait that I'm scared of that like I literally told B I go the more the more I invite the Lord in the more I get wise the more like I catch myself being bitter mhm but it makes no sense because I was that character not even too long ago but we like to get on our high horse like I just got corrected the other day off of a Bible project video do you know what a Bible project is oh I love those videos right I'm I'm watching them talk about literally the prayer and I've been doing the prayer the wrong way I'm out here speaking about the gospel and I've been praying the wrong way I've been talking to him like he's my father yeah yeah but he tells us don't talk like that it's our father and just making that switch made me look around being like Oh man I've been walking around rooms like I'm walking around with my father tough for you guys and the reality is like no dude like just because he's over there and he doesn't know God that doesn't make him less of a child of God yeah how do you the arrogance thing right like how do you balance that and how do you check yourself because I didn't even know I was arrogant in that until God presented that to me the same way you didn't know you were arant about the street until it was presented to you is there somewhere in the gospel that could help you sharpen that thing cuz I feel like like you said the uh the the thing that's paved to hell is on Good Intentions right I think we're always stuck in our point of views how do you how do you is there a way you could practice is a prayer is there somewhere in the Bible like how Romans explains for you not to get too hard on yourself is there somewhere in the Bible to help you become more meek and humble so you could sharpen yourself as a Shepherd to sheep Hebrews chapter 13 verse 7 knows that quick Hebrews that's so cool that you guys could do that please sorry yeah Hebrews 13 uh chapter 7 I'm sorry Hebrews chapter 13: 7 also verse uh 17 as well tells us to submit ourselves to the servant for they watch over us right and they give aord essentially so my servant which is the same Pastor who poured into me uh it's crazy but like I'll go to to church and and one some days he'll just be like Johnny remember you're dirt and I'm just like what why wants to die today you know what I'm saying like you know you're dirt right so and he'll say like you know you're you're nothing you know and I'm like I I know that Pastor he's like yeah just remember that and I'm like okay walks to the pH you're like all right dude like I thought I was doing good like hey don't forget just starts walking up there so but is that to to humanize you and to get you humble yeah so he would he you know I never understood that and there's times where cuz he could see it in you of course no Master's greater than no no what is it no uh what is it no servant is greater than the master so proud of you for now that's yeah so is that what you're talking about is like you should cuz that's actually making a lot of sense everything in my life that grew fruitful I always tell people actually me and my sister talk about this a lot cuz she's always like no no she doesn't want to bother I take if you're offering anything I'm taking dude anything I love to absorb from somebody cuz I learn from them and I can move on and grow but I always go back to the ones who taught me because I'm like okay I want to learn more I want to learn more and that's when I become fruitful so I need to find people that are way more that's why I'm attached to Cliff anytime I'm lost I call Cliff and and me and you always say this we every time we're around Cliff we could breathe better it's like it's like the air is cleaner it's our thoughts are better top of it's like being in a dark room and then something bright comes in it's like a different feeling you could feel the difference in it so you're saying for me to perfect me being Meek and humble I should find Masters in that element and learn from their characteristics because it's biblical um for example God created the whole world why did he have Noah create the ark he couldn't create the ark it's because he had he's trying to establish a spiritual hierarchy God could have led the Israelites out of Egypt by himself why did he establish Moses who was a murderer slow and tongue old right it's because God wants to establish the servants so me if I never met my pastor for example I wouldn't have this story I probably wouldn't be here I'd probably be dead honestly so God has shown us through spiritual hierarchy Sam uh King David had Samuel he had Nathan I mean so there's ways that God is trying to work because you know most people are like well I could just pray to God and then have the Holy Spirit discern but actually biblically we need to be part of a congregation we need to be led and we need to be poured into because we're vessels right so um it's great that you have Cliff a lot of people come to me I do one-on ones I do you know counseling all that and they always come to me you know I've I've I'd love to to bounce some ideas and scriptures off you get sharpened by you yeah for sure um denominations get tricky MH and there's types of cloth or rankings how do you feel about that how I rank people is Through the Bible so what I mean is do they know the gospel if they're only speaking about the gospel because sure you can know about tongues and gifts and all that but Matthew chap 7 21- 23 everyone know this verse not everyone who says Lord Lord shall enter my kingdom but those who do the will of my father right so in those days I shall they shall profess to me um we cast it out demons in your name we prophesy it in your name and God says I never knew you depart from me you who practice lawlessness so why does he say this is because people are not focusing on the fruits they're focusing on the gifts so a lot of people are focused not just on gifts but their own wonderful Works their own works so that's how you discern actually is you don't know the Bible it's okay but first and foremost how many times has this pastor read the Bible and when he's given a sermon is it a 20- minute sermon and 40 minute worship like is it a concert do you understand what I'm saying bro dude I can go on about that just talk about Jesus like the whole like lights concert like why do you have to do so much if you could just share one line and open up our hearts with the guy it's too much it's kind of like okay Street version of it it's like that dude who's always yapping but never does anything yeah he's it's called he's over compensating but then that one guy who says one small thing and scares you to your bone and you're like all right I want to mess with that guy or maybe he doesn't even say anything he just looks at you at a certain one you're like all right I'm going to I agree with that but I also kind of am half and half on it I'm going to be honest with that you're so cute I agree but disagree with you I don't and and you can tell me what you think but I think that I think that obviously there's an extreme where you know some Churches might take it to like a different level and it's not about Christ at all but I think that some of them when they do have beautiful music and they have a good arrangement sets the tone it sets the tone and I think it also intrigues maybe like the youth and intrigues people who don't know about Jesus and they're like oh what is this about and I know that when I was um 16 17 and my best friend took me to like youth group for the first time what made me pick my interest I was like the music was actually good and maybe I didn't act upon it right away and I didn't act upon like knowing about Jesus right away but I started using him in my life a little bit here and there not the right way but I started talking to him and I started praying to him and then maybe I fell short and went back and forth but it definitely was the start of the seed for me sure but question was that seed from God for example you left having a certain feeling like a therapist might give to you or somebody else they could give you a good feeling but you walked away from that not knowing who Jesus was they didn't give you a message you remember the way that they made you feel but you didn't remember the message of Jesus Christ so when it came time to actually dealing with an obstacle that feeling left you immediately and it put you back into the world but if he would have stood on stage with no ban no nothing nothing but he said something that Jesus Christ entered your heart so much so that you're like I'm going to go and find out who this Jesus Christ man is' the same way that this man sat him down and said hey like he asked him two questions that challenged a man's heart to me if you need all these bells and whistles then you're not focused on the real medicine and that would have done a lot more for you than all the bells and whistles now mind you I'm not saying that they should stop doing that yeah but you get what I'm going with this yeah I I would to add to that I would say like 40 minute sermon 20 minute worship you know what I mean like instead of like I I believe like the middle line here is is we definitely need music cuz you know David prays and stuff like that but um I also see it from another perspective where I feel like people don't know God so instead of having faith in him they have to feel him they have to feel God like I've noticed that about social media nowadays it's like oh I felt God and I'm like but Hebrews chap 1 vers 1 and2 tells us how God speaks to us is through his son and his son was made flesh and dwelt Among Us the word right so I feel like it's it's it's so tricky to balance that without like offending people but we have to be real here like I do agree with what you're saying George that you know giving them Jesus is like the most like you have to walk away from a sermon either at least closer to Jesus I would say um at the end of the day you know but also like praise and worship is something that is is good we do it at our church we just don't do like like I've been to churches where I speak at and you know they'll literally do praise for like 40 45 minutes and the sermon is only 15 minutes and it's not even like they'll say one thing right and then they'll go off and go well last week I did this and I'm just like yo what's the central message here you know is it the word or is it I did this and let me show you my accolades and why I was obedient to God it's like yeah but you know the obedient one was Jesus Christ Romans 5:19 and it's like you know it's just it's it gets tricky when people add their heart and their feelings into it no it's fair and it's true like we should always be walking away with the message can I can I make one point though could you give me one thing that you remember he said that night no I don't remember anything from youth group except for games and music to me you know what that feels like the aisle of junk food where it looks beautiful and it's packaged beautifully and you eat it and you think you're satisfied but you're stuck on the toilet and your body's dying that's bars bro do you get what I'm saying yeah but if then I I go on to some random hole in- the wall church and we're in a school because they can't even afford an auditorium but my god the guy opens up the gospel and I'm sitting here weeping and I'm like this man's presented with the Holy Spirit and everybody here is actually like sitting here and they're discussing the gospel sure I would love to know because you told us that your mom you know you grew up Buddhist and when you came out of prison your mom had already found Jesus so how did she come to find Christ she uh about 4 years left on my stretch before I went home uh from prison she just came and visited me one day and she was like Johnny I'm so happy and you know I Found Jesus and I was pissed right I was like oh my gosh mom you're religion hopping you know like how do you go like what are you doing right now you know that's so funny yeah and she was just like you know honestly I I'm I'm peaceful and I was like ah maybe this is a phase for her you know I forgiven your dad I was like you forgave him yeah right you know like she's like I forgiven you your brother like it's okay all of this was like God wanted this to happen so I could meet him at this position and I was like dude this girl is crazy right now you know and um she was saying things like I'm perfect and you know God is real and you know when I so I got out of prison obviously and I would tell her respectfully do not preach to me mom like you know in in visitation uh in California especially there they have Bibles so Mom would always go and grab a Bible and be like you know you're in the Bible and I'm like yeah I know John right like I'm but I'm Johnny I'm not even you know and she's just like no no like your heart Judas like Judas for real dude no but she was just you know uh always trying to show me and I told her respectfully Don't Preach and she stopped she's like okay I won't do it but I'll leave you to God I get out of prison and um she tells me this crazy thing she goes Johnny you are going to be a gospel preacher and the world's best gospel preacher mind you I'm carrying a gun carrying a gun and I have bricks in my car so I look at my mom goes she has bricks like actual bricks like like uh um of Co cocaine yeah cocaine we got them yeah we got P boy just imagine this whole time it's not even a Pock I'm not even a religious guy we just Tred to get you back in prison I'm so sorry I'm so sorry okay no but but um yeah so so you know I'm I'm Got Drugs on me I got a gun on me and my mom is just like you know you're going to be the world's best gospel preacher so I thought she had schizophrenia I was like this girl is loony cucko for Cocoa pups for sure you know but she was like um no trust me you know I believe in Acts 16:31 didn't check out the verse didn't care um anyways she found she was able to have that much Faith because same way she was you know a piano teacher by trade uh the one of the sisters um she was teaching her daughter right so she came and and preached the gospel to my mom and said you know the ESS that I feel the bitterness that I felt my husband was also an alcoholic so they really like connected on that level and then she was doing essentially what my pastor was doing for me but she was doing that for for my mom right this lady and so she preached the gospel and my mom was like oh my gosh I'm an imperfect person trying to produce Perfection on my own impossible no wonder I believed in karmic debt you know I was in the in the bed before my husband and got out before he got out like I was like trying to serve my kids I was always supporting him I would go and pour him his Soju shots and I would do that like I thought that was loving my husband because you know in in Buddhism it's karma right good karma produces good results Good Deeds Etc but then she's like I looked at my life and all the good things I did what like I have two kids who are gang members both in prison my husband beat the dog is out of me like for years like I'm not understanding what's going on you know so she had a lot of bitterness towards Buddha towards you know God as well and then yeah when this girl came and just basically dissected her heart and showed her and exposed her to the real gospel and told her through Hebrews 10:14 that you're perfect through one offering it says by one offering you are perfected forever them that are Sanctified right so perfected he showed her was in past tense or she showed him she showed her was in past tense essentially was um it's already done forever means eternally so she taught my mother right in your eyes you're not perfect but God says you're perfect through Jesus one offering forever so my mom also I guess she was she did some stuff I guess she cheated on my dad or something like that I don't know what she did till this day I don't know but she felt like this burden of like I'm also going to go to hell because I did something evil right and so when God when it's crazy how by the way naturally you guys felt this and isn't it crazy through the gospel if you guys were walk you kept walking towards death and you guys knew about it yeah please continue so I just wanted to to put that in there yeah so basically she felt that and she was like okay so this verse is telling me that I'm perfect everything else is telling me that I'm not like I think I should trust this and she said when she trusted that hope and peace entered her heart and then Pastor she met with our pastor right the one that preached to me and he was like oh your kids Isaiah 54:13 the Lord shall raise them up great will be their peace acts 16:31 believe on the Lord Jesus Christ you shall be saved you and your house so you believe they'll be saved amen right and then she used uh so that's why she like laid off she believed so much yeah she's like hey if God makes the promise that's it and it's crazy because when she told me that a week after that three people died in my life one guy died in my arms you know what I mean like my homie who I courted into the gang got shot my other friend who I grew up with Tommy hadam make French toast all that hung himself in prison so I saw like wow when my mom let go God started to work in my life and three forms of death that's in a week and a half yeah week and a half also I just want to say that I've realized this and I found this very special God entered all of your guys' hearts once you guys forgave she forgave your father and you God entered her heart you forgave your father he walked into your heart your father forgave you and and and asked for forgiveness God came into his heart amen wow that's what happened to me too same thing when I forget remember then God came into my heart wow mhm so he's just waiting for us to play ball with him like Hey like if I'm going to forgive you you're going to have to forgive others yeah you're measured by how you measure others mhm um can we talk about that incident where the gentleman died in your arms yeah yeah of course so actually I got out and I was I was trapping I was selling drugs because I tried to fly straight for a little bit but you know that box that says have you are you convicted felon I had to tie in all my charges and stuff like that so I applied everywhere I sat down with my homies they try to help me and um I remember my friend telling me bro like this is pointless nobody's going to hire you bro you have a violent offense two counts right and they're just not going to do it so I went to Home Depot um Walmart everywhere and I just was showing no love so I became bitter and I was like you know what I'm going to start trapping so I told the homies they plugged me in started making $ 30 $40,000 a month I was living it but again doing drugs you know sleeping around Club all that I wasn't fulfilled so I was like okay well this is real true misery because I grew up in the PJs the projects I thought if I made money then I'd be happy and you know I thought now that I'm out of prison I should be happy not happy at all so then I'm like oh you know what I just need more money so I was like I'm not going to do this 30 40,000 I'm going Rob A Millionaire drug dealer basically and so we planned uh to hit this drug dealer well-known drug dealer in our neighborhood and my friend and I we planned it I was like I'm going to go to the right of the car where we're going to set this dude up you're going to go to the left and um if he doesn't give it to us smoke him basically and so I went to the right and my friend I guess he just that day like stepped where I was supposed to you know step so I was like okay naturally we'll just switch it up whatever I'll be the the shooter and he'll be the one you know like jacking him so when he went three gunshots rang out and I actually thought my friend shot him so I was like damn you didn't even give him a chance bro like so you know and then next thing you know like I feel the bullet is past me and I'm like oh shoot I'm getting sh so we're returning fire he's peeling off so this guy actually had a guy behind who was like in the back seat and he was ready for us so again you know I see this dude dying and I remember like the sounds and everything and he was just dying and convulsing and I held on to him and he died in my arms and that was supposed to be me because if I just walked on that side and he didn't cut in front of me like that I'd be dead for sure so um do I live you know to answer the second party do I live with the the guilt no not anymore I used to but same way that I thought about when I spoke to the the woman in Oakland I was like you know if I lived with my you know if I was if my friend was alive right now uh I remember him too he used to we grew up in the projects he used to tell me bro we're going to make it we're going to make it big you know we're going to get famous you know back then we were like little famous you know we're going to we're going to have money we're going to have everything bro so I know know my homie like rest in peace if he wanted uh if he was with me he would want me to live and he would want me to live happy for him so nowadays I preach so boldly because I think about him too he didn't get the chance to listen to The Gospel believe it or not at least not from me now I don't know if God has planted that before does that haunt you it doesn't actually it doesn't because I believe in Acts 16:31 I believe could you open that up for us yeah so acts 16:31 tells us uh believe on the Lord Jesus Christ you shall be saved you and your house Galatians chapter 6 talks about the heart is where God dwells so it's a dwelling place right if you believe in the gospel cuz I don't know if God you know he grew up Catholic but like didn't go to church obviously lived a certain way but I do also believe uh when I think about my friend thief on the cross yeah right I'm like he didn't really do anything he's a thief which is symbolic of a follower of Satan because Satan is a thief that comes who kill still and Destroy he didn't work out his salvation with in trembling Philippians 2 he didn't get baptized he didn't you know even profess till this day we don't know what he what what what what his sin was however he looked at Jesus and he said right remember me why did he say that and why does Jesus then look over at him and say very verily I say unto you today you shall be with me in Paradise why does he say that it's because he recognized something about Jesus you're innocent you're not on the cross for your sins you're on the cross for my sins and that's when he realized like remember remember that essentially remember why you're on that cross for me and that's why God was like amen and that's what the true gospel salvation you know biblical gospel is and I believe like it says in the Bible as well that everyone gets a chance to hear the gospel right I've I've heard of deathbed salvation so I cling on to the hope of like okay God I don't know where he's I can't say he's going to heaven or hell honestly however I believe by faith just like dead Lazarus was able to be brought back Mary and Martha around him had Faith do you understand um even King David he had a 7day year old kid they had um you know it was with basiba he committed adultery with basba but then he fasts and then when the baby dies he says I cannot go to I will go to him he cannot come to me it's like wait a minute the kid didn't hear the gospel though how does how do you end up like getting over to him it's because King David had Faith do you understand so I believe like a lot of people are teaching incorrectly where say it's an obedience thing of course we have to OB be obedient to the gospel but if you look but at a certain length if we're going to measure obedience then we're all falling short exactly right so so and the true obedient one is Romans 5: 19 right it says just through one man's Disobedience many were made Sinners Adam sinned we all disobedient through one man's obedience many are made righteous so a lot of people again are focused on these works well I have to be obedient of course you do you have to try to you know follow the gospel and listen and love your neighbors sure but if we could just be obedient and obedience is the only thing that God really needs from us then why did Jesus have to die because we could be obedient without Jesus there's a lot of people I know who are very very nice really in my opinion haven't even committed any sins but yet why did Jesus have to get killed and crucified is because without the blood there's no atonement and the wages of sin is death right so I've realized like hey my friend I don't know where he's going but I'm going to believe in my heart through lazarus's story through King David's story truly by faith that faith can move mountains and you know when When God says that if you have faith and you don't waver and you call this mountain to be casted into the ocean right water represents the Holy Spirit cleansing baptism this mountain is essentially dirt and we're created out of dirt so what he's saying is you can definitely have faith that it would even like overcome these things that you know this fleshly stuff so I believe with my friend I don't know if he's heard the gospel but if the Bible says he has who am I to say no I wasn't there I didn't verify it so I don't know rather I'm going to believe yes God if you say every Nisha about if you say the gospel is preached and blanketed north south east west then you know what I'm going to believe in that and I lean on that which pours hope inside of my heart it's not oh in my opinion in my belief it's more of this is what the verses say actually in my head it makes sense that he didn't hear the gospel he wasn't living a gospel centered life but the Bible says something opposite that's the one thing I love about the Bible is it's always going to go against our thoughts you know people say Johnny why do you believe in a man-made Bible like people literally you know have changed the Bible there's different authors 1500 years blah blah blah and I tell them with one verse Genesis 65 I say show me a scripture that says all of our thoughts I'm sorry show me a man-made book that says all of our thoughts are only evil continually I'll wait you know whether it's you know the secret whatever it is no book says children are born because of Adam evil evil and also all of our thoughts are evil there's no dcm5 whatever you pull up that's man-made Harry Potter you know there's nothing that says that all of our thoughts are evil so only God could write something like that because God is is the is the standard of good so you know I've kind of explained that to people too A lot of people go like what what's the definition between good and bad like how do you why do you guys get to say what's good and bad and it's kind of like I don't and sometimes people try to get upset with us because we're like preaching something they'll they'll purposely ask me hard questions um and be like well how do you feel about this and what I've realized is the people that really are angry at the Bible are the ones that really don't understand the Bible now I understand why Jesus's last breaths were forgive them for they don't know they do not know right yeah I was explaining this to a kid at LA Fitness like two days ago and I was like if your kid touches fire are you going to beat his ass because you're like hey I told you don't touch that fire now he burned himself and then he's going to beat his or are you going to be like hey hey and you'll smack his hand to get his hand away from the fire he's like I'll do that I go sin is separation from God so when we do something that God said don't do and we reap those percussions we blame God but God was like hey don't do that yeah but we like to blame him for everything facts um you have a child how old he's 16 now 16 16 now yeah dude how old are you yeah I'm 34 yeah yeah conjugal visits all that stuff how's your relationship with your kid oh he's good he's good he comes to church he learns dude you guys got to look the same age he's pretty tall yeah right he's pretty tall dang that's cool how do you how does it feel being a father like does it does it ever help you uh guide better absolutely absolutely yeah a lot of people come to me for one on ones for example and they struggle with lust right and I use my kid in this where he actually um you know he came to me one time it was like a few years ago like a couple years ago and he's like Dad I'm not going to lie to you like I love watching the Instagram explore page right he's like straight up straight up so I was like I don't know nothing about that you know he's like you know and he's like Dad I I I'll be honest like I watch porn and I was like dang and he's like what do I do and I said your issue is not porn and he goes yes it is Dad yes it is I said I don't think you've watched my browser it is but I was like you know your issue is not porn it's the fact that you trust in yourself number one and you have too much time on your hands and he goes what do you mean I said listen to me carefully okay when you come home do not take your phone with you into the room don't use the restroom and and you know with your phone in your hand take a shower get in get out right because you're only going to watch porn when you're you have a lot of time on your hands and when you have the phone on in your hands and he goes okay and I said when you come home sit in the living room study in the living room be around me right because you're not going to bust it out in front of your pops like that's crazy so I explained that to him and he goes so it's not I'm like you trust yourself you trust yourself in your flesh that you can go somewhere alone and just like chill but it starts with playing a game and then you're like okay I want the next dopamine hit and then it just it spirals it goes oh okay so I told him stay out and yeah I remember telling him that and I actually forgot about it so like for two weeks like he would come and he would sit you know and and he would just be like doing his homework and we'd be fellowshipping and then I remember like on the third week after I said that he runs to me gives me a hug and he goes dad honestly I haven't watched porn for 3 weeks it's crazy I used to watch it like every other day right and he's like how did you know that like so from there he started to have this level of respect like if I follow my dad he knows something that I don't know and if I just like listen to him you know I'll actually grow and so yeah he's just like man it's crazy and that's what I teach people too even adults I'm like you have too much time on your hands if you're ripping and running like we are you know like there's just no time for that honestly like you want to do it but it's like I'm home I'm exhausted I'm doing these podcasts I'm doing hours reading the Bible like you're if you're occupied there's just no way amen right so in the Scripture it says uh to flee from it which is hilarious cuz like when I was dealing with lust I was like all right God tell me how I'm going to beat Goliath and he's like run my guy don't even look and I'm like oh he's like you'll get smoked and like dude like the world we live in it's so like it's so funny cuz I have different eyes now God Creed my eyes to be new cuz I did deal with lust and the only time I knew it was a problem is when I met her and we were like trying to be faithful and it's all good when it's all new and exciting and it's fun but then when she's like oh she's my wife now and it's like oh well now I'm looking around and I'm like oh oh check out that or check out that or like hey why am I even looking at that and so what I did and I did this before even read the Bible verse of flea I would tell Instagram not interested not interested so I could build my own algorithm and so now it's like is the algorithm messing you up or is the algorithm feeding what you desire yeah you know what I'm saying absolutely so you got to work at this it's practice to like beat lust I grew up with an addiction of porn and I and I thought it was okay cuz at a liquor store my dad sells porn and I'm watching Everybody buy porn and my mom's a Christian home and she knows that he sells porn so I'm like all right this is just a thing that they don't want me to touch until I'm older I'm going to touch it now sure no pun intended yeah I'm so sorry so sorry and when I did I got burnt because if you teach a man that he's not satisfied with one dude I had multiple tabs like blonde brunette Mexican Asian like anything like you could just pick and then you'll fast forward to what you want and I know this a little graphic but you're basically training your brain that one is never qualified it's impossible to be satisfied with one absolutely and then I got this podcast and everybody was like and this is beautiful all the comments are like how dare you sleep with her you're not married and so at a certain point B and I were like yeah we should probably like chill out dog I went from like being numb sexually that if she grazes my shoulder it's over for me like I'm I'm ready to risk it all dog and that all happened because I was disciplined to separate myself from it and now I'm like bro she can't even wear certain shorts around me I'm like yo pack it up send it home like we were getting married next year we're getting married next month cuz I can't hold it no more dog but disg it's disgusting but it's honest and it's true and it's beautiful now and I look at sex differently now and on top of that I look at other people's women with such respect before I'll be like with my boys like yo yo yo check that out now I'm like that's somebody else's and that's not mine and I'm not going to disrespect my woman first and I'm not going to disrespect that man by looking at whatever is his like that's not wrong I I don't feel comfortable with that but that only changed when I was willing to want to change before I us allow to myself be like dude everybody I'm not gay dog I'm not going to get married and stop looking at other women and but look how my mouth was speaking I was telling myself it's fine every man does it but you know what I'm going to teach my kids straight up from the jump nah don't be a slave to that yeah we're all slaves don't be a slave to that well that's why I think it's so admirable I mean your son's only 16 and he came to you feeling guilty about it any other 16-year-old see be like it's normal you know they're start to be interested they're interested so what do you think made your son like feel that guilt and come to you with that that's awesome that he could come to you yeah so I've taught Through the Bible like I was taught Through the Bible that you know you never tell people like stop lying right for example like kids um from a young age Church helped me raise him and taught him like hey don't tell your son to lie tell him that you're here to protect him and if you lie to me I can't protect you and then he was able to see like oh my gosh I need protection from my pops so it's better and he never lies to me whoa bro bro I have a really big thing with honesty for jokes I always over exaggerate but if we're talking I I I actually get really uncomfortable when people lie to me lying to me is like really big thing of course but I was raised that way my mom used to be like hey I'll never punish you if you're telling me the truth but I have to know so I could protect you didn't know that's the reason why I was so open and I'm too open with her like even B's like can we not tell your mom about this like you know like and and like I'm just always wanting to get my heart out there but I think the biggest blessing in my life is what your child is going through now and it's the freedom of coming to his father with the complete comfortability that his father's understanding and merciful what does that do to your heart knowing where your home came from versus raising your child in your home now I mean I can only attribute that to God right because I would not I normally this these generational curses and stuff like I should be replicating all the stuff my pops did right but I've learned again to trust myself to raise him and really step on myself so at a young age I taught him self-control for example like he would he would you know and it wasn't even me it was Pastor through me he was like you know he said I notice your son when he washes his hands you know he's just like la la la like joking and letting the water just run and he goes you have to tell him to control the water and I disagreed right I had my thoughts and I was like Pastor it's water like if you really need me to pay $70 a month like I'll do it you know what I mean and he goes Johnny think about it this way though if he can't even control something as small as the water faucet what happens when he goes out into this world and there's bigger Temptation and he doesn't have self-control for that it's going to eat him alive so I was like damn hey dude you know who you just set up Belle the next time I run the shower and I'm on the toilet for 40 minutes she yells at me so much and you're right that's wrong with me I shouldn't I shouldn't do I'm sorry for you and I'm sorry and I'm also bro what a big learning curve all right dude this is so exciting pop me out a kid real quick if you don't mind uh but you're telling me that you're learning more of the Gospel just watching your son grow up and being able to teach him you're learning yourself sure so how did you talk to him about the water thing yeah so I I told him I was like don't do it he's like come on dad mad okay what does that feel like when the little baby version like but Dad that's I like the water and then you're like I this is a problem that parents have they want to please their kids so much that they become their friend and now they're delinquents right so like how did you how did you be able to be the parent that's strict but also nailed it so much that your son's like Dad like I'm addicted to porn we need to talk about this that's a crazy amount of difference yeah so you you you have to being a good parent you have to step on yourself and what I mean by that is a lot of people say they love their kids but they let the kids slide because it's comfortable for them at the end of the day you have to be uncomfortable with yourself in order to correct your children you get what I'm saying so I've learned like you know I I've implemented the 710 rule uh which is out of seven things right I give him out of 10 Things I give him seven things the last three no matter how big or how small I say no and I don't explain it because when you go into this world there's going to be things that's unexplainable and we're just going to have to overcome those things and I learned that from the pastor so you know one time he loved LeBron James there was like a little camp that he wanted to go to and it landed on the the eth thing right so I was like oh like in my heart I was like I got the money I could do it I told him no and I seen him sit down and it crushed him but then I was like you know what this is going to teach him a greater lesson right and literally he comes back to me like a couple hours later and he goes dad I don't like it but I respect it that's what he said and I was like amen dude I you're a little kid talks to you like he's from the street too I love that yeah cuz all his uncle all my uncle all his uncles you know they're all like gang members and stuff and you know but he's very very you know he's very open to to being like uh not just chastised rebuked but also corrected you know do do you ever lay your hands on your kid if you act up no no I don't actually yeah so I I again I've I've left it in God's hands where I used to you know when I first came home and I didn't you know I was like beating him and he was just looking at me like what the heck is going on and I realized like you can't just beat them and then not explain to them so with him I always sit him down even now he's like I want a vape you know it smells good like everyone's doing it and I said but if you think about it that's how Satan gets you he wants you to like ruin everything you know it's like you could work out cuz he loves basketball you could work out for I don't know 20 years you sip like one scoop of poison you're dead right like I I put it in perspective for him like you can never allow Satan to weasel in because that little a little bit of Leaven leaven it the whole lump it says so a little bit of sin um you know will make you completely sinful and he's like dang so he he understands that I'm always looking out for him and I don't if he knows that I don't have to beat him you get what I'm saying I don't have to hit him that's actually quite powerful cuz I and and this sounds like I'm joking but I always thought I was going to beat my kids cuz like I got beat not every day but like if I ever acted up the beating would remind me if I was going to ever do something stupid and by the way this is crazy but when I was younger what I thought wasn't that big of a deal I'm like whoa bro thank God I was too scared to do that because some of those kids didn't come back to same yeah some kids lost their life doing that type of gambling but I didn't even dare try to go through this because I was like dude if I do this my dad's going to beat the breakes off of me I'm not going to do that facts but you said something that touched my heart you said I like I explained it to him and my parents didn't like beat me to a place where it's like illegal but if they smacked me yeah yes but I think what really turned my heart was the conversation they were like do you know why I did that da and I'm now thinking about it I think I would have learned just as much without the roundhouse to the face you know what I mean like I think the kameha mayeh may have been put in the pocket I didn't really need it but I'm I'm starting to look because I really did I because I to be stupid but I all the kids that I grew up with that didn't get hit or like disciplined they're wild and they their life growing up because they didn't know what like discipline was they didn't know what a repercussion looked like until they're in their older ages sure I want to talk about uh programming uh like are you do you watch what your children's uh watching cuz you you and I grew up in a different time if we wanted to watch something it would be like Dragon Ball Z we talked about this right uh that was like every Thursday at 8:00 right it wasn't like every day I'm mindlessly scrolling I also want to make a side note that was a Japanese program mhm and I didn't know that a lot of my characteristics that I learned from were from Goku he was so friendly to his uh enemies he always gave everybody a try he like when I did martial arts I would never go full out to herur the opponent I would level out with them and then train with them sure and I learned that from him because he was graceful I learned from Goku because I was a young boy watching a cartoon what happens if I was just watching eded and edti or like something like poisonous to my brain where I think that oh this is normal this is okay that freaked me out to be like oh I really have to be handson with what's being downloaded in my children's brain sure how do you go about this knowing how worldly this social media could get with your children and you don't want to be too much where they're like I grew up with kids that their parents wouldn't let them do anything so much that as soon as they get a chance they're like devouring the thing that they said no how do you balance that out so we still we place time limits you know like I express to them too uh you know that and and I'm I'm kind of like the uncle in the church to all the kids cuz like they get scared when they see me and they're like Johnny bro like talk to him you know but um I love that yeah but you have to exp you have to explain it to them it's not for them to understand cuz kids at age of 10 15 whatever they're not going to understand but if you tell them listen if you just trust and believe right I make all the kids in the church do this right cuz they love their iPad and it's funny like when their parents drop them off they're at the church like yes I'm free now I can get on my iPad for like 6 hours you know what I mean so I I explained to them like yes you have a choice you can get on your iPad you can hide from us you can do all those things but you have to understand something right we've raised you guys from Young from a from like birth right the whole church helps with raising these kids and I asked all the kids right there's a kid at church he's like he wanted to join my gang like that's how crazy he was he was like I saw this thing on Instagram bro about you and I want to join your gang and he was like serious too he's like trying to like you know research the gang signs and all that and he like show it to me and I'm like yo you need to chill right now right so I'm like your dad is a scientist bro like you are you don't need to be in this life right but he I expressed to him I said if you really think about it we raised you up as a kid I've seen you ever since you're like four years old you know you're like 14 now right like you every single time you listen to your father like it was always good would you agree and then he thought about it he's like that's true right and I said could you without your dad or your mom or even us get to where you're at right now let's say like your dad just had you like you wouldn't be able to feed You' probably be dead so you owe your life to your parents in this way right they're always there to provide for you they're always there to protect you so it doesn't make sense to you right now I said because you know they're saying don't watch the iPad only watch like an hour 30 minutes right but later on you have to at least believe so I was teaching them Faith right you have to believe that although it doesn't make sense to you it's about acceptance not understanding right and I told them when you were 5 years old you would play with certain toys and they're like yeah and now you don't play with them anymore it's because your heart will continuously this desire will continuously drag you and then I always use myself as an example I was like a car with no brakes I told him right I'm like would you guys drive a Lamborghini they're like yeah without brakes some of the kids are like yeah and I'm like straight up crash right I'm like you need the braking system so I explained to them what the braking system is how Pastor explained it to me I said you know the break is what lets the Lamborghini go 160 mies and then bring it back home in one piece so you can do it all over again you right now you're you're like a Lamborghini without breaks I want iPad I want this I want that you will crash yeah at the end of the day if you don't listen to us which is a braking system for you and you don't develop that then you'll crash I said you can have fun you know Uncle Johnny has fun all the time we meet famous people oh yeah I want to be like you but I have a breaking system and then they go all right cool and I see them they're actually like cultivating this breaking which is called self-control yeah their desires is like the accelerator that's beautiful did you I'm glad oh man this is this is a great question did you have the self-control when you got the fame yeah dude I didn't oh really I got Fame and Fortune when I thought I knew Jesus and so when the devil tested me on my wisdom boy did I fall bro like it's so crazy how I I was so self-pleasing and like I didn't know anything about the gospel sure and I told my mom I go this is crazy that we called ourselves a Christian Home MH and yeah I knew Jesus died for me that's it yeah and so when I started being like obedient I realized that all of my problems stem from me not having self-control yeah absolutely and this is what's crazy the gospel says sin comes through you not at you yeah yeah bro dude how crazy is that our biggest problem is US yeah amen and if you really really could hone in on how to like do that like just trust on the Lord and the gospel and not yourself 99% of the problems leave you which is wild bro that means the devil excuse my language like you would say ain't he literally just tries to get you to do the bad thing so he doesn't even need to do it exactly that's crazy yeah that's why the world tells you you know trust in yourself follow yourself Satan will never say right Satan will never say worship me he will always say worship yourself and then he'll pour into you his thoughts his lust his desires and then you'll just be like oh it's me and you're like inadvertently worshiping him by trusting and believing yourself Proverbs says this in Proverbs 3 lean not on your own understanding right follow your heart the world tells you but God says in Jeremiah 17:9 the heart is deceitful above all things so it's like it's so it's so different and you know and if you learn like okay I'm not going to trust the world and my feelings like you say 99% of that stuff is just going to but dude how do you talk to people because even people that know Jesus and I'll sit there you know what they hit me with and they don't even know that they feel like this they go well yeah but I feel it's like dude who gives a how you feel bro like like I don't don't understand how this is even the first obstacle they sit there debating with themselves and God like they have any Authority at the table to make anything change they told me to go why if why would God do this and why would God do that my best analogy that I came up with is like this God created a board game he says to win the game you got to behave and act like this I'm going to leave for a bit I'll be right back while he's gone we're all like we could play the game like this and this is fun and all of a sudden the game becomes GTA and then you could do whatever you want and then we're upset with that we don't win this game sure amen it's like bro sorry I'm a little ranty I get so passionate and ranty uh okay I I want to I want to talk about this thing but I I I have to pee real quick I'm so sorry do you have to use the bathroom at all no I'm good okay I'm so sorry guys it's one of my favorite episodes god my bad do you feel like marijuana is a sin uh I honestly so so here's the thing right we're not really under the laws anymore so I would say like it doesn't mean you can send however you want but if you're thinking like if I don't do marijuana and this is going to get me to Heaven that would be the wrong perspective so it depends there's people who come to me and ask that question and they go so is marijuana sit I could see in their heart where they're like I just want to smoke marijuana and you know that then I would tell them right it depends but there's people who are like oh my gosh I smoke so much bro I'm going to hell like blah and they're tormented by it yeah and our job is not to like be like yeah you need to re it's more like well actually if you read Romans 6:14 Romans 104 we're not under the law you just have to distrust your thoughts your problem is not marijuana your so it's it really depend I think I think the thought that I have is like what what like drinking growing up like I never drank cuz everybody around me when they would drink would act like crazy I was like yo especially me when I drank I always wanted to like have sex with a girl or fight the dude next to me like I never ever was in like a good piece of mind when I smoked I was just kind of like I was able to like settle my thoughts and relax and just chill and Vibe got um but I started getting paranoid cuz I'm like dude I'm a drunk and but I don't know if I feel like that anymore because I get my job done I'm a good man to my woman I'm a good child to my parents I get I'm not sitting around wasting my life I'm just like at the end of the night I can't settle down because I just I'm powering through so much and then at the end of the night it's like hard for me to just sit down I just smoke and chill and I used to think my salvation lied on it but then I'm like that's so disrespectful to think that the blood of Christ can't wipe my ability to smell all right so let's get the fun stuff dude oh yeah I knew this episode was going to be great dude I literally knew it I knew it it's one of my favorite episodes straight up uh we got to run it back by the way there's no way we're not running this back uh okay this is my conspiracy thoughts on dragons okay check this out oh right the dragon dude dude dude it's going to get weird bro and I know I know somebody probably heard the beginning and was like I'm just skipping to the dragons part and then they skipped and they were like how long did it take for them to get so I apologize here we go uh you have a few dragons on you is it I do yeah yeah okay so check this out this is my thoughts first of all before the internet how in the world did every country have hieroglyphics of dragons yeah yeah yeah that's imp how did how how did they all know about dragons that's one two fallen angels we already know that there's Giants but they also these demons were on demon time bro they weren't just looking at the women being like dang she's hot they were looking at the animals and being like I'm gonna I'm gonna have sex with these animals right so I think this is what I think and this sounds stupid but I just I want somebody to hear me out on this okay they say that dinosaurs got wiped out by a flood because of an ice thing right I think they knew that they were going to be able to in the future find out that these animals drowned right MH but I think they they fell under waterer because of Noah's Ark because God says I will choose the animals of my kind so I think that humans and animals got wild with God and so he wiped out the animals that are not from him and the humans that are not from him so my theory is that the dinosaurs didn't like like fall into water I think dragons fell into water and they also say that dinosaurs have the same DNA as reptiles mhm come on dog yeah what is a demon is a reptile yeah even in the Bible it says that it was like a snake but in Hebrews I guess it's something else serp so am I am I uh am I like a little cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs over here or is this starting to add up a little bit I mean it makes sense to me biblically speaking though we we got to go to the Bible so okay so talk to me about the Bible cuz I don't know anything I just know that it was it was like labeled like 35 times that there was dragons in there yeah there is there is dragons in the Bible but all of it actually talks about Satan he calls him abadon the dragon you know so it's actually talking about him um there are demons you think that it is cuz we think of the like of a devil like in R form like in our skin yeah no and but do you ever see these conspiracies where they're like they're reptiles there's like people that are like these are reptiles dog it's starting to look like dinosaurs are coming back and if you see the movies the horror movies are always coming out of the water yeah yeah yeah why sorry I'm so like I have a question I'm having too much fun right now and I don't know if I don't know this stupid question but babe nothing you could say right now is going to be stupid following me like nothing but God is the creator of all things and so but he so how could dragons not be from him I mean I mean I know there there's demonish you know identities but then even the devil was technically from God cuz he was a fallen angel so how does that where does that put dragons well that that's what it would be they would be the demons yeah they're basically demon creatures because like Lucifer was was you know he was a guardian to the throne so he had you know he was a cheram basically a saram as they say he had six highest Angel yeah yep highest Angel and that's why he's so good in the word because he was a guardian to the throne so why would do does it ever like stump you why would he do that it makes sense actually why he would because look at a rich person for example okay they have everything that they want they don't understand like I used to never I grew up poor and I never understood why rich people would do drugs I'm like yo you got everything you want but the funny thing is you know and it ties into why God allows murder and and poverty and stuff is because without poverty let's say how do you appreciate wealth without death how you how do you appreciate life they were literally partying it up and had everything Satan was like for the simplest superficial term a trust fund baby like he just was rich and he was like you know what I'm going to tear some up basically you know I'm going to do what I want to do but he was the protector and also what was he protecting from yeah there's so many questions that my brain goes into no but for real like also it's like how do I put this Legion in the Bible why did all those demons go into the water that my brain just goes there like when I see this I can't unsee it it and also it doesn't say in Revelations that they will come from the water actually it comes from the ground yeah like the Scorpion demons the Scorpion demons yeah there's Locust and Scorpion demons and they can snatch you up if you don't have the mark so that's why people say the conspiracy of Cain Cain goes to heaven because God put a mark on him and that Mark is the you know the mark of not the mark of the beast cuz you know Satan replicates everything he turns love into lust but he can never create so he will replicate things like the mark of the beast 666 he's the bootleg of Jesus 100% right so um yeah so Cain went to heaven because he had the Mark um the mark that God put on him and said if anybody touches him he'll be cursed basically so in Revelations it talks about that they come from the ground now doesn't say water it says ground and he gives them Dominion not to to drag everybody except the people with the mark of of Jesus basically the mark of the Gospel the mark of Salvation as we call it so these scorpion things are they do they look like the Scorpions on the ground are they just bigger there's no like description it just it's actually Locust but like if you look in the Coney Greek it's actually it say Locus yeah Locus Locus are not even dangerous are they they just eat up crops and stuff right yeah well that's what it says in the English English uh interpretation the con Greek I believe is Scorpion is it kind of like a metaphor yes metaphor but he also says that I gave you dominions over snakes and scorpions M what does that mean then uh it means because Adam was obviously saved at that time until the fall right Genesis 3 is when the fall comes in so he's basically saying yes I gave you Dominion but that's how we become John 8:44 which says you are of your father the devil why are we of our father because the seed which is the word of God is planted but Satan also plants through the seed as well right he says you know like he told Eve the lie and she accepted it and that's how she became corrupted it's not like he fornicated with her it's not like he forced her she just accepted the seed how do we become children of God right he can't like physically birth us but when we accept his word which is Jesus into our heart the seed we become the children of God does that make sense that's why we need a second birth so we're born once and then we're born again if you want something that really blows your mind if you look at Genesis 1 uh it's so deep Bro like for example he says you shall have dominion over the fish of the the Sea and the fowl of the air the foul yeah which is the the birds of the air yeah and then he says every creepeth thing so people would always ask like why did God say specifically those animals why fish of the sea and fowl of the air so when I you know read in context especially in the Hebrew Aramaic uh through the in your Bible you can see that fish are very and birds have something that's really different and unique than other animals they have two birds so they have the egg and then the bird will CRA you know it'll crack and come out fish is caviar yeah and then they'll swim out right so I hold Bible studies like this and that's why people are like signing up right but basically oh that's beautiful human beings need two birds too essentially we're born once and then we're reborn in the spirit also birds and fish are both made from water as well true true and are we made new with water the baptism yeah and then Birds what's beautiful about them is they can defy gravity meaning they can go against the flow fish can swim upstream also go against the flow um and when we're born again we can go against the flow of the world so that's why he says it bars yeah might drop dude okay anything else in the Bible like dude love these type of Genesis 1 just in Genesis chapter 1 right um if you look at the Hebrew Aramaic word for in the beginning God created the Heaven and the Earth it's not in the beginning it's with the beginning barit right which means with the beginning and then people go okay big whoop right and he see it actually reads with the beginning God created the skies and the Earth right so what's the difference why why yeah what does that matter right actually Jesus is there because in Revelations chapter 1 he says in red lettering I am Alpha Omega the beginning and the end Genesis chapter I'm sorry John 1 vers vers one also says the same thing it says in the beginning was the word of God the word was with God the Word was God was God same was it in the beginning with God so that means actually that you know Jesus was with God you see the Holy Trinity in literally those two verses amen John 1 and one you know in our image in our image thato that's big yeah so it's huge you know and then you'll see little things like so you believe in the Trinity of course so when you pray do you pray to Jesus or the father it's the same thing it's kind of like like depositing money in the Chase Bank in Vegas like versus LA it's still going to the same thing so I always pray either in the spirit or I'll pray in jesus' name right because he says everything you ask in my name you shall receive right but how do we know what to respect like cuz before I didn't even really talk to the Holy Spirit MH but then until I read the gospel he says I must leave because what comes next is greater the Holy Spirit yeah the comforter mhm so who do I respect cuz like I grew up in a this is what Catholicism is like pray to Mary but I don't think that's okay through the gospel I think that's very wrong yeah now I'm at a level or I'm like how do I respect the Trinity and like how do I even like go about explaining this like one guy brought me a verse where he's like I could prove to you that Jesus isn't God and I said okay please share it with me he says look at this guy he comes up to Jesus and he says oh good teacher and Jesus replies why do you call me good when only the father is good and so when I bro I that me off cuz I was like w that's a good thing why would Jesus like say that when I read this and please correct me if I'm wrong when I went back to review this I think the guy was being condescending and he says good teacher everybody else called him Lord besides that guy yeah so he didn't see him as that so he was just asking him why are you playing why are you asking me if I'm good if you don't even believe that I'm God is that where he was going about it yeah well it's it's not only that but like the Trinity is all throughout the Bible people will also say well there's no you know like Jesus never said he's God for example like piggybacking off that but they don't read the Bible Hebrews chap 1 verse 89 8 to2 essentially will tell us that God literally says the son created the world created the heavens with his hands it's like how does Jesus created the world right you if you read that scripture when you guys can Hebrews 1:8 to12 God is literally edifying him calls him God calls him Lord calls him God so calls him God twice and Lord once and then he says you created heavens and the Earth that's why it backs up what's being said in the beginning which is with the beginning God created right and the word God is Elohim is plural it's not a singular thing so when he says that the the the father is greater than I does that mean that there is a pillar of like dominance like is is Jesus below the father no because in the human form Jesus has to say that because he he was 100% God but he's also 100% man that's why he says I didn't I don't know and the angels don't know when my time is you understand what I'm saying like people are like well if he's God and he's all knowing how like they don't understand the context though right so it's it's actually he's 100% man and he's 100% God that's why he was tempted in that way there are things that Holy Spirit did reveal to him but that's why he was saying he gave up the ghost right when he hung on the cross why did you forsake me he was legit forsaken why I thought he was just singing the song no no no so you're telling me that song was written for his place exactly do you understand yeah yeah was it CU Jesus was sent to be a teacher bro dog so he need to keep his place he couldn't even though he know he knows what he knows but he has to put it in a certain way so that we can view God the right way yes that the reason why they thought that he was Elijah is because Elijah was put in a position to feel what the glory of God was going to feel and it wasn't God reflecting I thought he was just singing that to them to remind them of what's going on my God that's so much deeper oh my God that's so much deeper bro yeah join the Bible studies no hey can I I would love to I need to sharpen myself I'm really really good at talking but that's dangerous because if I'm misleading the sword I could be harming more than good amen how many time if I could ask you a personal question how many times have you read the Bible front to back front to back yeah uh like in a straight row just just in your lifetime like would you say so what I was a kid I would read the Bible and I have a very good memory like for example if me and you talk I won't forget anything we're speaking gotcha got uh so when people were able to express me stories I would remember them vividly so I didn't need to reread them but I never read it for myself got so recently this past few years I've been taking it like instead of rushing through it because the the ego in me wants to say oh I read it from cover to cover but now I'm reading like if I'm reading Luke yeah I'm reading Luke five times in Greek and in Hebrew and I'm trying to talk to other people and be like what does this mean why is this dialect different I I I threw away one of my Bibles cuz as I'm reading I was reading them through different Bibles and I realized that some Bibles were taking scripture out they're omitting verses 100% And the most powerful ones too and then I looked up who make those bibles are the same people that make witchcraft Bibles so like I'm just taking my time instead of blowing through it so honestly not that many times okay that's good very very very new I'm I'm still drinking milk in my Goa gotcha good yeah you definitely need somebody like cliff and them to to lead you I think I upset him BR I call wayo like Cliff you wouldn't believe bro that I'm dealing with this this and that and it's so funny cuz like I'll bring it to my mom and dad and they see the passion of my eyes but like I have a thing that if God opens my eyes for no man will I shut them amen and like I used to think my troubles of obstacles were behind me but now I'm realizing that all those obstacles were preparing me for these obstacles and so like I'm I'm starting to realize that I it's better for me to keep my mouth shut I'm starting to realize and it's hard for me to cuz you wouldn't believe but a lot of people have told me to keep my mouth shut it's a it's a difficult thing to do that's so biblical you know quick to to listen slow to speak she's the one that taught me that I I brought her the gospel and she brought me how to do it like I was teaching her about Jesus and she was demonstrating Jesus and I was like oh okay maybe I should like you know catch up to my mouth here uh okay that's beautiful man okay okay so all right I got one how uh I recently um let go of fear because somebody told me that when I'm in fear I'm I'm worshiping Satan true dude I still have a problem with this I grew up with a mom that gave me everything including her fear of everything dude this woman would be like she would give me every possible outcome of how it would turn bad and then be like but go with Jesus and I'm like what the like dude you just made me so paranoid I am the most paranoid human out of all my friends and I had to work my way out of this so like I'll meet somebody and through the gospel he gave me wisdom to understand patterns right so when I see somebody and you'll notice this right when you see somebody I'll know where they're going with this just from their face I know where they're going with this this has made me bitter and so I was telling B this the other day I think the elders in the church that are failing us are exhausted she do you get what I'm saying and when I read in the Bible go eat and rest and I realize that anytime I mess up is when I'm short fused and I'm exhausted and I'm tired so how do I refrain from being bitter so I could keep the love of preaching the Lord without uh the tiredness of being trampled by the world that makes sense uh you have to understand what the Bible says about rest true rest right right people are arguing about let's say the Sabbath day oh you know Sabbath day is a Saturday no it's it's not it's a Sunday you guys don't know blah blah actually the Sabbath day in Colossians chapter 2: 1617 tells us that it's Jesus you know Jesus says all of you who are heavy burdened and laiden come unto me and I shall give you rest so Peter actually explains this right yes what verse does Peter explain it Peter uh wait I don't think it's Peter actually that explains it yeah it's Paul who exp who basically like denounces the Sabbath it's not that he denounces it he's just trying to get them he's speaking to the Church of Corinth yeah and they're basically like arguing about you know it's this day it's that day and they're falling into Works he even calls them even galatia you foolish Galatians right have you received the gospel through works or by Grace amen right he's like he's like chastising them because even in this world and and just to tie this back to your point where you said people the elders are exhausted it's true because everyone is now going into Works whereas the true rest is through Jesus so if you give the gospel that's what's going to give people rest amen I realized this the other day and this happened two days ago with the gentleman at um LA Fitness that morning I uh spent time with the Lord and I felt so full that I said Lord put even more in me so I could pour into others so then when I was pouring into others I wasn't exhausted myself because he first poured into me that morning so I've been working around like um different level different devil so now when I got to the level that I'm at now it's mandatory I have to speak to Jesus first in the morning if I don't I'll be a wild mess I'll be a wild the same thing I wake up every morning at 4:30 and I read the Bible because I'm just like I have to start with him you know I can't my thoughts were you know intrusive or whatever Satan's always working and especially with like as I'm growing now because I'm you know going on podcast and I'm people are praising me and that's what I love about my pastor he's always breaking me down he told me he's like honestly if you're in this world and everyone's like oh my gosh shny Chang this and that your story resonated with me like you're just getting boosted no one's bringing you down so he's like you know he's like you have to you know I have to do that for you and he and I was like dang like that's the real love through Pastor it's like anyone can be Yes Man Echo chamber parrot you know what I mean but someone who's like hey yo to be honest like you're kind of stepping out like you got to get checked and I'm like dang I love that I respect that D dude I said this to every single one of my team members I said going from a third member on a show that was popular to the main guy is a very different thing because every day I wake up at least whoever I'm running into is praising me with so much praise that how could it not get to me how could you wake up every day for a year straight and everybody from the fast food guy to the grocery dude to everybody's not just saying oh you're cool you're the man bro you and and it sounds cheesy when I'm like whoa whoa whoa that's Jesus it's not me and they I can see them roll their eyes like just accept the compliment but it's not a can't because how many times can I accept the compliment until my heart agrees with it and goes you're right you did know God because of me yeah and dude so it's like I'm the it's it's a it's a battle and it's like I I'm falling into the same thing that I tell people stop getting mad at God for giving you what you asked God for yeah yeah yeah do you get what I'm saying how does your uh son feel about I mean so many things how does your son feel about your past because obviously it's online so I'm sure he's seeing it right and I'm sure youve talking to him about it and then how does he feel about like the success you're having yeah he's like dang you were a bad dude that's the first thing he said like dang you're bad cuz I didn't really like tell him all that crazy stuff you know but um yeah now he's just like he loves it he's like you know um he's happy that I'm happy basically and he explained I explained it to him like you're connected to me so whenever I'm happy you're happy right like and I told him about like the story of of Grandma which is my mom when I was in Thailand I was preaching in the prisons it was crazy people Buddhist people were receiving salvation through my testimony I was like yeah but then covid hit so I actually got stuck out there for a little bit and my mom got covid and at that time you know they were blasting it like oh my gosh if you're this age like it's pretty much death whatever like it was all this crazy stuff so immediately even though I was preaching the gospel I got sad cuz I was like oh my gosh like so I told my son I didn't have covid mom got covid granny right got covid why am I sad cuz we're connected so you and I because we're connected like you're so happy but you always have to remember always everything I teach a lesson to him you know you're I'm here because of God dad's not supposed to be here and you're not supposed to be here actually if I wasn't here so if you just remember that then it's good cuz I know him he'll go and he'll Flex bro he'll be like all my friends stay you know like when I had his birthday party all his friends came and they were like can we get a picture you know like you've seen you on Tik Tok whatever but I always tell them like I always have to now step in the role of what my pastor does for me for my kid I'm like listen carefully you know like I'm only famous for the gospel not famous cuz I was a gangster I'm not famous for any of that stuff so if you really want to be edified you have to serve people you have to respect people and he's just like oh so I see him you know he's like helping his friends they they hold little bible studies it's like really funny bro yeah it's really really Co are you excited to see what your son does for the kingdom 100% cuz any all the talk that you're saying all I kept thinking about is like yo this kid is going to be anointed like anointed imagine what God was writing in your books while you were in prison like just chilling there just being a Buddhist and God's like you have no idea what I'm about to do this story is about to have a crazy plot twist yeah that's awesome dud thank you so much for your time bro I I would love to run it back what I would like to do next time is now that I got to know you next time I would like to bring crazy questions or like concerns or like um things that I'm even like trying to like understand like we could even dive deeper into the Trinity um maybe we could even have some Callins where people could call and just like I would love to spend time with you again and just dive in in a sharper realm yeah let's do it and then also i' would love to come and and just be a fly on the wall and watch you work with uh these people that are in prison dude that's like your ministry that's amazing that is amazing thank you so much again pleasure thank you guys all right guys I'll see you guys next Thursday