hello there my friend Myron golden here and I want you to have the opportunity to enjoy a tedx talk that got over 1.1 million video views in five months and unfortunately it was taken down from the Ted site because of the person who hosted The tedx Talk had some conflicts with some other people from some other event and so tedx took down all of his videos mine was one of them so we have a version of it we have the recording it's just not high quality so I wanted to let you know why this tedx talk is so such low quality the quality of the video is very low the quality of the content is some of the highest you will ever hear and the tedx talk is called the master key to influence how to overcome procrastination in yourself and others it will absolutely bless you beyond your wildest imagination enjoy [Music] foreign how many of you would like to have in your pocket at all times the master key to influence yes okay so that's what I'm going to show you how to do I'm going to show you how to have the master key to influence and I'm going to show you how to overcome procrastination in yourself and other people how many of you think you know somebody who has a procrastination problem okay the reason I ask the question how many of you think you know somebody that has procrastination problem is because nobody has a procrastination problem procrastination is not a problem procrastination is always the symptom to a problem and the symptom that procrastination is a problem of it's the problem of anxiety that's the real problem procrastination is the symptom it is not the problem and so what I'm going to do is I'm going to show you how do you fix procrastination how do you get the people that you are selling to to buy now how do you get your children to clean their room now how do you get your children to do their homework now how do you get the person that you're in love with to be in love with you now how do you get yourself to eat the things that are going to serve you now how do you get yourself to move your body the way that's going to make you strongest now that is a good question it is a very good question and when we find the answer to that question we will have unlocked the master key to influence what is the master key to influence well it's this human beings are singularly motivated people do things for one reason and one reason only people don't have 10 reasons they do things they don't have 15 reasons they don't do things they don't have five reasons they do things people do things for one reason and one reason only and that is because they feel like it when people who eat right eat right they eat right because they feel like eating right more than they feel like eating wrong people who exercise they exercise because somehow or another they figured out a way to make themselves exercise instead of making themselves not exercise they figured out a way to make themselves feel like doing the thing and if you can and for those of you who are in business if you can figure out a way to create an environment that causes other people to feel like doing business with you you don't have to try so hard to get them to do business with you because people do things for their own reasons and their own reasons not yours not mine their own so how do I get to the place in my life where I create an environment that causes me and the people I've been sent to serve and to the people I've been sent to serve with how do I create an environment that causes all of us to feel like doing the things that are in our own best interest is that a good question yes or yes okay so here's the answer understand this when when you understand that if your attitude is right the facts don't matter so that's the first thing you have to understand when your attitude is right the facts don't matter when I say your attitude is right I'm going to explain to you exactly what I mean by that but this is a fact and by the way it doesn't matter what name you give that fact if that fact could be bad news from the doctor that fact could be the loss of your job that fact could be the loss of a fortune in the stock market that fact could be having to file bankruptcy that fact could be whatever it doesn't matter if your attitude is right the facts don't matter but here's what happens we observe the facts we either observe them through our eyes right or we observe them through our ears we either hear the facts or we see the facts and then when we see that factor here that fact we put a frame around that fact and that frame that we put around that fact that frame that we put around that fact is going to be in the form of a focus in our head I'm going to tell you something frames create Focus if you don't remember anything else to say tonight remember that frames create Focus what does that mean that frames create Focus the reason we put a frame around the picture is because we want people to focus on what's inside the frame everybody tracking so what you want to do is you want to understand that when a fact happens you put a frame around it that frame has a positive side and a negative side because everything has a positive side and everything has a negative side it's impossible have you ever seen a one-sided piece of bread probably not have you ever seen a one-sided coin I don't think so have you ever seen a one-sided piece of paper why not because it cannot exist it is impossible for anything to exist with only one side so if it exists and there's something negative about it there also has to be something positive about it at the very same time if there's something in your life that's really super positive that it has to have a super negative aspect at the very same time why because there's no such thing as a one-sided anything well we put that frame around it when we put that frame around it then that frame is going to cause us to manufacture a belief and that belief that belief is going to be manifested either as Faith or it's going to be manifested as doubt and this is the part most people don't understand most people don't understand I'm going to say it slowly because most people have never heard it before faith and doubt are both belief most people think faith is belief and doubt is the absence of belief but doubt is not the absence of belief faith is belief in the outcome I desire doubt is belief in the outcome I don't desire when I have more belief in the outcome I don't desire when I than I do in the outcome I do desire I have doubt and I don't have faith but both of them are a belief okay so so when I manufacture this belief if I manufacture Faith because I'm focused on the positive aspect of the fact then that's going to make me happy if I focus on the if I focus on the negative aspect of the fact that's going to cause me to have doubt and that's going to make me sad but it wasn't the fact that made me happy and it wasn't the fact that made me sad it wasn't the fact that you have a lot of money that makes you happy and it's not the fact that you have don't have a lot of money that makes you sad it's not the fact that you're healthy that makes you happy and it's not the fact that you're an unhealthy that makes you sad it's the focus on that fact that makes you happy or sad because you all the time and I am too man are manufacturing beliefs about the things that are going on outside of us and it's not the thing that's going on outside of us that changes the game it's the things that are going on inside of us that we are doing as a result of our perception of the things that are going on outside of us and so we see this we have this we have this focus in our head that causes us to manufacture this belief but you know what's really interesting about that belief is a traveling salesman it doesn't stay in one place so this belief travels down into our heart and that focus in our head travels down into our heart and it creates this thing called a feeling in our heart that feeling in our heart is why we do everything like you get up early because you feel like getting up early or if you don't feel like getting up early guess what you do you sleep in right and so the reality is we have to understand that my motivation your motivation the motivation of our children our spouses our business partners those people that we negotiate in business with all of us are motivated by our feelings and interesting that the weeks we say the fact that um that we have emotions what is emotion emotion is energy in motion that's what a feeling is and the feeling is also the energy that causes you to be in motion or the energy that inhibits you from being in motion so we have the focus in our head that creates the feeling in our heart well what's the feeling that depends what does it depend on it depends on whether I've manufactured Faith or whether I've manufactured doubt if I've manufactured faith in my head through my focus then the feeling in my heart is going to be this powerful thing called anticipation anticipation is one of the most one of the greatest gifts you can ever give yourself what is anticipation anticipation is the energy that I get when the outcome I expect is desirable to me I'm going to say it again really slowly anticipation is the energy I get when the outcome I expect is desirable to me so when I'm expecting a desirable outcome it energized me I can't sleep do you remember when you were a little kid and I don't know if you were mischievous like I was but Christmas before the week before Christmas we would always sneak into my parents bedroom or we'd sneak into the basement to see if we were getting the things we asked for how many y'all know what I'm talking about and so we snuck in there and I saw I was getting that electric guitar that I've been begging for for years and all of a sudden I know I'm going to get that electric guitar and your parents were probably not sadistic like mine were but mine always made us go to bed early on Christmas Eve and I'm like we can't sleep what do we go to bed and we're up there my brothers and I and we are laughing and talking and acting crazy until two o'clock in the morning because we got so much energy from our expectation of what we were going to receive the next day we couldn't sleep and so that's what anticipation does anticipation gives you energy to do the thing but what if you're focused on the negative aspect of the fact and it causes you to manufacture a belief called doubt well that's going to show up in the in your heart as the feeling of anxiety you got to get this now anxiety is the thief of your dreams the things that you desire to have that you don't have right now the reason you don't have them is because you've manufactured more anxiety than you have anticipation the reason the people say no to you when you're making them an offer is because you created more anxiety in them than you have anticipation and when you learn how to create more anticipation in people than you do anxiety they will start saying yes instead of saying no and then you'll be you'll be blown away it'll seem like it's almost wait a minute this is too easy because you started focusing on creating an arena that causes people to feel like saying yes to the things that you're offering them to them so so what is anxiety if anticipation is the energy I get when the outcome I expect is desirable to me then anxiety is wasting present energy on a future outcome that's undesirable to me let me say that one more time anxiety is wasting present energy on a future outcome that's undesirable to me so what happens is I'm expecting an outcome I don't desire and so what I do because I'm expecting that outcome I don't desire I have a physical reaction to it in my body and that physical reaction feels like fear smells like fear looks like fear tastes like fear but it ain't fear how do I know it's not fear because fear is caution over a real and present danger if there is no real and present danger there can be no fear if I'm playing golf up in Tampa we have alligators you'll probably have them down here too and if you hit your ball close to an alligator and that ball is really close to the alligator you got to turn your back to hit that ball I recommend you let the alligator keep the ball why that alligator represents a real and present danger but if I'm getting ready to make a sales call and I think well what if they say no I need to make the sale I got to make a sale this week I'm about to lose my job because I can't meet my quota well that's a different story that's not fear that's anxiety because now you're making up a story about the future that's causing you to have a feeling in the present that robs you of the energy to do the very thing that would keep that negative thing from happening have you ever heard somebody say worrying about something makes it happen well that's why when you're worried about something worry anxiety same thing different word when you're worried about something that worry causes you robs you of the energy to take the action that could keep the bad thing from happening so anxiety is wasting present energy on a future outcome that is undesirable to you I recommend that you not do that so Myron how do people say I've got a procrastination problem no you're just expecting the thing you're procrastinating not to do the thing you'd like it to do and so therefore you don't do it if you could paint a clear and mental picture of the outcome you desire as a direct result of the thing that you need to do if you can see that as the ultimate outcome and that it's going to happen and if you could get yourself in your heart of hearts to believe that you would take every action in that direction there's no such thing as an author with writer's block there's just an author who expects the book not to sell if you thought you're going to sell a million copies next week you get that book done tonight see it doesn't matter what we apply it to it always works if our children believe that their life is going to get better as a direct result of doing the thing we desire them to do because we had him do it for their reasons not ours then cleaning your rooms easy all you gotta all you have to do is give them a reason that makes sense to them and causes them to feel like doing are y'all tracking so what happens is we get a focus in our head that focus in our head creates a feeling in our heart when the feeling in our heart is anticipation it energizes us when the feeling our heart is anxiety it robs us of the energy to do the thing and then lastly the feeling in our heart then moves out to our hands and the feeling in our hand the feeling in our heart creates a function in our hands and that function in our hands when we focus on the outcome we desire and we have faith that gives us anticipation that's the energy the function in our hand is called Power not only do we have the energy and the power to do the thing it is impossible for us not to do the thing when we have anticipation we get a really really bad case of the I can't help it how many you already had a bad case today I can't help it and so what happens is I've now got this I've got I'm looking at this fact I'm focused on a positive aspect of the fact I'm manufacturing Faith it's traveling down into my heart and building up all this anticipation and now I can't do anything but the work that's in front of me I'm not going to distract myself by watching a football game or gamer basketball game I'm not going to anesthetize myself watching other people in the electronic income reducer live their dreams while I'm living a nightmare what I'm going to do instead is I'm going to go to work on the thing that's going to work for me and I know it's going to work because I'm going to make it work and then lastly if the feeling in our heart is anxiety Then the function in our hand is powerlessness and what happens when we live a life of powerlessness is every obstacle we Face we see it as bigger than us every obstacle we Face we see it as larger than us everything that comes our way we think it's bigger than us it's better than us it's stronger than us it's more powerful than us and it has the ability to take anything that we desire away but when we realize the power that we have when we Master the master key of influence it gives us the ability to overcome procrastination in ourselves and others and no will turn to yes and maybe we'll turn to absolutely and I'll think about it turns to where do I sign because you have figured out how to create environments that cause people to feel like doing the things that are in their own best interests that's the master key to influence I'm Dr Myron Goldman it's been a pleasure talking to you [Applause]