you all right little man uh oh I'm talking to you You You really want to know you almost hit my tire You're not going to like what's about to transpire You [ __ ] who about to be on fire Don't give a what you aspire Got the gang here and we packing a Got all the here and we packing a lip Oh my god Oh my god Which one next what are we picking next my friend on to a new journey Is that ludicrous that's [ __ ] ludicrous right it is Yeah All right Luda This is actually ludicrous That's crazy Yeah All right Let's get into it baby It's copyright I feel like Ludicrous is going to be like Mr Miyagi in this episode I hope so With a chopstick you going to hold a rap city that's like a royalty-free version So they brought Ludicrous on the show but they can't use his real music Probably Yeah right [Music] Maybe this is like Ludicrous as a kid in school or something Oh maybe it is Yeah he just already has like a platinum record Yeah he's like "Hey uh would you mind checking out my mixtape?" And the girl's like "Ew you ain't shit." Parents don't lessen me Let me listen to that [ __ ] I only like Amber Lavine Only listen to Justin Bieber Fortnite remix [ __ ] out of here Where's my Taylor Swift nightcore [Music] don't talk to me What the heck man are you serious made me pee myself Uh no I was just um That dude is 36 This is ludicrous And the other guy is 38 Yeah for real This is actually Diddy He's like "How dare you make me spill my baby oil?" It got away from me Lud heard of Ludicrous right brian I guess It was clearly an accident Did I ask for your opinion on the nerd besides this nerd needs to pay for what he did Nerd I am 47 and I won't allow this I'm I'm a genius and future superstar I'm going to get my social security check this month I'm pissed By what the trust fund your mommy and daddy left Uh damn No Got him Okay Why you all in my ear talking a whole bunch of crap that I ain't trying to hear get back You don't know me like that Get back You don't know me like that What no No You're nothing but a want I don't need God The opthalmologist will be unhappy with your decision Those frames were $280 I don't need those to hear Ludicrous Sorry about him Are you okay i'm on yanks her by the arm He's going to steal his girl Oh yeah I thought that was blood on the floor Listen up We have a new student joining Bro has the JB Hill That guy looks like he's from the Yakuza Weird This guy has flunked eighth grade 17 times Just moved here from Delaware And they told me that he is a math wiz That's why they bumped him up at this class Imagine being introduced like that Yo who's even from Delaware yeah Welcome in Paul This guy's a [ __ ] nerd He's a genius with the numbers and [ __ ] One of the 50 states What a bluer By the way I love on the on the chalkboard it says 5 equals 4 He's here to help me with my math cuz I don't know what the hell I'm doing He's going to erase all that [ __ ] on the board Paul's going to erase everything on the board and rewrite it the right way Welcome man Quiet Brian So Paul do you have any uh thing you like to tell us about yourself maybe your passions your interests Ludicrous personal Any ties to the Yeah Um I'm passionate about rapping and I'm good at it I'm going to be just like someday rapping and performing on stage Uh starring in a Hollywood blockbuster The next a mear you know No Oh a mega star Maybe you should sign up for account He grew up to be Donald Trump This is him now Feel old yet don't even bother entering Megastar It's no category for being cringe Damn Get him Getting called cringe in front of the [ __ ] dude And the guy has the JBL speaker That's an uphill battle my friend Yeah I take the L Leave That's tough Oh no the fight's out I'm about to knock your lights out Get back Guard your grill There's something wrong We can't stay still Yo come up with your own lyrics That was so lame Oh my god that was embarrassing Destroyed him in one bar Where did they even find this clown yo Oh my god Do you honestly know anything about rapping i mean you look like you came out of Beverly Hills or Bair Ain't no good rappers out of Bair No no no Technically the the Fresh Prince of Belair came from No Missing me with that garbage man Okay To be a real rapper Okay You got to come from the struggle Okay Hardship Okay You got to privilege You got to live 40 years of life I bet the hardest thing you had to face growing up was wondering if Starbucks was out of oat milk or something Got him Answer me this I mean why did your parents even make you come to the school i mean are they running for Congress or something and wanted to look like one of the people or something no that's that's not why we moved Why are you 43 in high school but the grind never stops Grew up in the struggle I'm running with the top hood behind me You don't want no beef I ain't just about bring that heat Notice how he's annoying everywhere he goes You grew up in the struggle I thought you were from Greensville Man that's literally the richest town in Delaware Behind you Your mother drives a Tesla [Laughter] You already have a 401k I need you to clear out your locker and head home Settle down That's the real struggle Coming from a private school and having to clear out your locker You'll never understand the struggle like that What is this language you're speaking we all been there You're trying to rhyme things in here You will clear out the books from your uh doicile Everyone's [Laughter] Am I in trouble or something no of course not You know you're a perfect There's an issue at home Your bar sucked babe Meeting You're the mother You can't just leave like this I can and I am So you're just going to run out i am That was kind of hard That Those were some good bars Hold on Yeah Listen to your father Yeah Write that down first [ __ ] You can't leave I can and I am Holy Kind of a slant rhyme but it's there I'm going to scram A slant rhyme Leave like this I can and I am Damn So you're just going to run out on your son you're damn right up on Yeah I'm going to run out my on on my son honey bun Don't make me reach for my gun What kind of man does that a divorced man That's who One who likes to eat scriticizing me for everything Oh no Please stop fighting Whatever is going on we can work through it as a family Isn't that what you always told me shut up [ __ ] It's your fault we're getting a divorce Some things Go write a song about it son We're doing this so you have lyrics to write about Some things you can't work through I'm g start a YouTube channel and call it the do Okay Now now that was good Awesome Dude that was Thank god you paused it That's not my problem What do you know about my origin story forgot you came from a black family That's it I will play guitar [Music] I go on Omegle Now [Laughter] your mom has gotten a lot meaner Time to go look at some wiener Hey I know you're scared I'm scared too But we're going to be okay That didn't rhyme Didn't rhyme Mom stop talking to me What kind of stanza was that i believe you're about to say something about why moved here Uh it's it's nothing Never mind Exactly He's a fake A wannabe with a rich mommy and daddy who's just trying to act hard Why does this guy care so much as much effort in your homework as you do in speaking out of turn you might be able to solve the problem on the board Brian Okay No one can solve that Well I don't see why you're all over me about it No one Not even Einstein You looked at that whole entire problem You figured it out The dude is a clown Very impressed Uh maybe you could Brian Got him assemble Why are you breaking a horse he can figure out that but doesn't know how tape works He's a numbers guy He's a numbers guy Rain man He's not very hands on He could think you in the next week but can't even put a sandwich together His whole skills tree is just in numbers and nothing else I could thank you in the next week here this Let me help you Why you keep dropping these pieces of [ __ ] that boy can do Oh my god He can do algebra but he can't pick [ __ ] up By the way I love white women He know his calculus but he can't even blink Oh no he doesn't know what to do with that I got that thing on me Is this Hey I keep that thing on me Listen here I keep that thing on me [ __ ] Is she like abducting yeah Why does she have scotch tape that white girl has scotch tape bro Here's a welding gun Oh help All white [ __ ] carry tape in their purse All of them So uh you Why do you have this paper so you also questioning it You like a big tape girl or something it's like trying to flirt You uh so you're saw your tape huh you like adhesives huh you like You ever heard of scotch um how about gorilla how about gorilla that wasn't in the script dumbass Running your backpack No no I'm putting up posters today for the talent show It's one of my jobs as class president President huh that's what's up I'm going to make one of those one day President that's Barack Obama So you uh you have tape in your backpack huh you're the president That's That's too much I'm a professional finding things I'm a tape alchemist Witchcraft killer You can tape my glasses Let's see how big that ass is How do they Damn look like they belong here Okay Ethan that's homie Whoa Where did you get Whoa You can put tape in your backpack [Laughter] You got a gay notebook Whoa You got a nice notebook You got a gay unicorn on your composition book [ __ ] [Laughter] How that Griffin got a human beard I like your notebook Let's see how that ass look All right Really damn man I have any more I can check out He's sick with it Oh no You'll make fun of me No no no This was me Come on Please I doubt it There's a chance There's like there's a possibility Oh there's actually a 3% statistical probability I'll make fun of you Uses math Let me calculate that One second So yes Oh is that a liger whoa Whoa Whoa Buddy he can say it He can say it He can say it I don't think he can We're jumping a little too far in this in this relationship Maybe a little bit too whitewashed Sure Well well talking to this little nerd Are you Ally uh Ali was showing me her stickers Oh is she little doodle things that she does Natalie you are lucky you're hot Cuz outside of that you don't really have much going on for yourself Anyways I'm Godamn bro This is how you pull [ __ ] though This is how it works M You're lucky you hot You good for nothing else Yanks her out of the room You dumb as a ham sandwich [ __ ] But you hot You lucky you invented the liger [ __ ] You ain't good for nothing else By the way what the hell a lagger Everybody check your phone Yeah I'm posted on the block Yeah I'm chasing that cream Riding through the city Chasing that You want some cream is that hard to understand yo if it isn't Fresh Nerd of Delaware Oh not the bicycle guy dims my rhymes Squad moving meordance of Iraq's nuclear war This is a scene from Revenge of the Nerds Bro you got to actually know about the things you rapping about and be about that life for real Like this Yo it's rough in the hood Ain't no food in the fridge Mama praying hard hoping we can cross that bridge Ain't no heat in the house We just trying to stay warm Life hitting hard Got to fight through the storm Lights out again man We living in the dark School ain't safe Got to scrap to leave a mark Seen some homies drop cuz they caught up in the game I keep my head low trying to numb out all the pain Damn Epic rap battles of history That's rapping Okay Because it's real Yeah it is Epic rap battles of history What the heck and then Ludicrous just rolls up in a Lamborghini on his bail off fist You want to spit these weak lyrics at the talent show then go ahead It'll be hysterical It'll be a lyrical miracle Spiritual individual Just cuz you want to be like Luda doesn't mean you actually like him My bicycle go way faster than yours Pulls out 100K for a feature at the annual talent show Ludicrous if you can hear me now Ludicrous please If you can hear me now Ludicrous Ludicrous if you can hear me Please help me Ludicrous Ludicrous Please save me Ludicrous Please save me Here's your soda Are you ready to order actually I'm waiting for someone first I'm waiting I'm waiting for someone first before I quench my thirst Oh my god Is that the 8105 infusion pumps god I can rhyme anytime Pay me a dime It ain't a crime What's that the 80-15 model Yes actually Um you're a woman Are you trying to [ __ ] looking for a medical dick how do you know about I used to be a medical dick on my way Good luck I want some dick Actually that [ __ ] can't read The 80-15 model is riddled with software glitches The Ivanex is the way to go Skill is [ __ ] She says otherwise find a different provider H she really wants some dick A random waitress That'd be kind of fun This is all my boss would comp tonight Oh it's okay What a chicken quesadilla What the [ __ ] is wrong with that it's a ludicrous sandwich Give him way better than this [ __ ] Ludicrous for breakfast Sorry I yelled over you Mcnesty You have to finish your homework Yeah I love you I love you too babe Paul you know the rules And so do I You have to finish your homework Shut up Rick roll us in the middle My little genius Talent show You're going to blow it Fun I was you know you're [ __ ] thinking about signing up but I'm not so sure Not sure Ever since fifth grade you've never skipped performing at talent shows Yeah Well uh never had uh glasses broken before either Who did it mom I can't wear them looking like this People are just going to laugh at me more Can we get some new ones i'm sorry honey Do you see the food I just Yeah Do you see the [ __ ] uncooked chicken quesadilla do you think you're going to get new concrete for dinner you want I mean what do you want me to do that's not even chicken It's dog food Son your chicken quesadilla don't come with insurance That is actually fancy feast in a quesadilla Just so you know son It's like rat meat Doesn't come with insurance We can't afford new frames right now Excuse me Can we have a little service here hold on She wants you You are a [ __ ] blocking [ __ ] You're trying to sell the 80 You're selling the 80-15 bro Shut your ass up Listen I know about Ivormectton or whatever the [ __ ] she said You shut the [ __ ] up Now listen that shit's full of hardware glitches or some [ __ ] I don't know Yeah Don't talk to the [ __ ] I'm [ __ ] like that The only service she's given me is head Kill yourself I'm going to rap about it in the morning It's going to be so damn good Silence cracker All right go ahead Keep crying at school He's calling me a wannabe nerd rapper in front of everyone And take this Glock 45 and tell him you're probably right I mean who am I kidding i grew up in the suburbs Went to a private school in private Could I bet and you're wearing a bow tie and suspenders Ginormous afro Yeah And that that flannel shirt not doing you any favor The cut off flannel Suspenders Bow tie Afro Skin Nice teeth You moisturized too much Eloquent speech Yeah I look like a rich lumberjack Um what the [ __ ] you want me to do [Laughter] you look like a wood scientist Rapper like that Hello Shut up I'm trying to help my son Oh she got a son Never mind I want her Hey I have some [ __ ] [ __ ] Shut your ass Isn't a bad thing It's what makes you special Listen man The ros is empty I'm trying to get some Embrace it Go rap to that crack over there That table screaming I haven't [ __ ] since my [ __ ] died in '92 Back then we were only on the seven One thing I know for sure is that you'll be the coolest nerd How long ago that was ever seen i'm horny Frank shut your ass Facts Did I use facts like Rose that table is waiting You told me if your kid was going to hang Manager Love the [ __ ] manager You forgot the name's doctor manager Actually manager I'm a manager I steal life force from Do you want me to make him older i don't make your son 37 right now He will not be in school tomorrow That boy is going to be retiring if I get done with him Put him out of his prime He wants to rap Mm-m You seen his bully right he's 42 I did that Oh my god Oh my god So good So dumb I love it You wouldn't be a distraction Okay I'm sorry I was I don't want to hear it and I don't want you to bring him back here again tomorrow You here unless he's a man Don't I don't have anyone else that can watch him With the legal fees and the move I can't I didn't ask for your Saab story They're doing this in front of He literally hit her with a dead ass [ __ ] You're yapping [ __ ] Didn't ask Didn't ask Orders up Who cares bring Bring them the Alfredo Tell them Tell him to rap about it but bring the Alfredo out Oh man If you don't like it maybe find another job We're still waiting dude Go seat to that table now Just starts riding him Kills him Blow his head off Just starts riding him It's insane Mcnasty Hey I'm glad the tape worked out Okay Thank you all for signing up for the fall talent show I like how they always show like four people in the crowd As long as you let me be the closer you know they're say something about saving the best for last right [Music] okay Fresh nerd of Delaware since you so good how about we close the show with a freestyle battle rap This is like eighth mile but Darm edition The audience pick the winner We've never done anything like that before Could be fun M unless anyone objects What about you Paul you up for it Gang gang Uh sure Yeah Yeah I'm I grew up on the streets seeing things you won't believe Bills piled up I Come on Paul The show starts in a few hours Okay scratch that out Recording people in the bathrooms Okay Living in the hood is no easy feat Babies in the street with no food to eat I got to save my family Got to get us out And if you try to diss me I'll knock you out Oh yeah Yeah That's fire Okay It's all right Oh yeah Yeah That is fire I like that This place reminds me of Urkl Steven variety Yes the Steven variety I grew up on the street Only two likes though Don't worry about it [Music] Oh hell [Music] no He goes up He's like "My name's Bishop Bullwinkle from the first church Nothing but the truth." What what he has pictures of him in his locker Peanut butter Maybe he like evolves into Ludicrous or something He goes up on stage like he just sings really fast He sings grenade in the gravy and he wins it all Oh bum the orange juice How much you think Luda got paid for this like 30 second cameo he's going to make that's what I'm thinking Like he's in here for like half a second No there's in a seafood boil He gets his haircut and he turns into Ludicrous Here we go All this within a few hours by the way [Music] Why has he got the Blues Clue shirt on he goes up He's like "We just got a letter I'm sorry I can't you up We're short staffed I left mac and cheese in the fridge You can warm it up when you get home." Okay Mom That don't rhyme I don't understand More bad news I won't be able to make it to your talent show Joe wants me to work a double And you know I'm trying to get that assistant manager spot Why won't you make eye contact with Yeah What i'm not doing the dump talent show anyway What why'd you get that fresh fade then honey what happened to your hair oh there we go Did that bully do that to you i'm going to tell the princess No no no no no It looks [ __ ] terrible I did it to myself Don't worry about it Okay it's fine Paul listen to me Remember what I said the other night nope Am I paying you to be yapping on your phone Rose or to be working the manager suspicious I work through phones by the way I love you Give me your life force You just see her grow 20 years I guess she's not a man His mom transitions into ludicrous What the hell was sexually it's funnier in my head I'm sorry Ludicrous She just starts dating Ludicrous He comes out and that's it Oh [ __ ] Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Whoa Hold on Wait a minute Wait a minute The climax of the film We missed it You know [ __ ] about Mercedes He turned that paper into Ludicrous Sick boys Pokeball out I'm sorry about that I wasn't trying to hit you I look Ludicrous Move [ __ ] Get out the way You all right little man uh oh I'm talking to you You You really want to know you almost hit my tire You're not going to like what's about to transpire This school about to be on fire Don't give a [ __ ] what you aspire Better call your mom cuz there's a murder for Haya I really want to know Talk to me I hate to see somebody sad Okay Uh this guy he made a Tik Tok about me trying to be a rapper It's all I ever wanted to do was to be just like you But by the way just he's like his biggest fan and just basically doesn't acknowledge He's like "Let me just tell you my story." Trauma jump on you Yeah Yeah Ludicrous Can I have a dollar you should call my mama Everyone laughed at me He made fun of me in the entire school Front of me Maybe he's Hold on Hold on That's why you can't rap [ __ ] You think people didn't laugh at me when I was trying to come up and be a rapper and what did I do i just kept working You got to keep going You can't let anyone deter you from your dreams You understand no that's that's ludicrous too Look at me okay i'm different I'm a nerd and you're man plays ludicrous in this Being different is not a liability It is a strength So you need to embrace that and success will come Just keep working What he said my mom told me something like that Your mom is a smart woman Embrace what she's the way I [ __ ] her She said a lot of good things A lot of good things She told me about that The reason why reason why I'm here Let's just say your woman is a your mom's a tight woman Tell you you're a star piece of it under your breath Peace Like I said that's probably his whole meme right there He's gone Oh maybe he'll be in the crowd He's got to show up He's got to do a feature Come on stage Ludicrous Cheeseburger There's no cheeseburgers in the Darmman universe You have to know That is true I apologize ladies and gentlemen Our last performance tonight was supposed to be a freestyle rap battle but unfortunately it said she couldn't come Let's go I would have smoked him if he would have showed up Oh he's too scared to come I mean I get it I wouldn't want to I'm here Actually never mind He's here I'm glad you made it Plot hole Why are you wishing him luck i mean are you being nice to anyone besides this little twerp is about to get beat up on this stage anyway You know what Brian you're the one that's cruel Oh [ __ ] is your thing but it's not mine We're done Fine You're not the liger I thought you were You think I care who needs you besides you're just a little nerd just like me with these stupid little stickers I'm going to go with her I'll have a new girl in no time As soon as I done embarrassing this kid I don't know about school Okay contestants You got anything that's not like final patchwork how did you do that i decided to finally He's got work clothes And if I can you can too You can too Follow your heart And go get him He's like "Come sing backup vocals for me." We should go first with COPD Get this out the way Oh [ __ ] Here we go Drop the B [Applause] It's 3v1 Your boy Pop belongs in the mall He couldn't even rhyme in the bathroom stall Life is fake Yeah it's all a lie He couldn't rhyme two words Even if you try to be in the rap game you need to be real Your flow needs to match how you feel and heal Your life's too easy I never want to be Just the lier sticker on his sunglasses Glasses Yeah he's about to go They got groove out there Not bad I like a rap I don't I don't understand language but it sounds good to me The flow The flow is there The flow is there Who the [ __ ] was that the supreme leader will hear about this Matter of fact see you The Americans they're getting better Look at that Not bad Biden Biden bro It looks like the [ __ ] the lady from Monsters Inc I don't even know what the [ __ ] is that lady's name Bass I know my friend The bars were bubble bass approved Look at the arch on that frown dude That's a make when I hear a Steve Vick or something Bro that's a frog If I ever seen one that's a straight up frog So the bass sees my worm I will take that worm The bass praying over that worm he's about to eat Dear Lord this worm nourish my body I just love that he hasn't been in here to the worm He hasn't been in here the whole time And then the most important part and they cut to him and he's like I approve They they spent they spent all their budget on Ludicrous and this is like this like ludicrous producer or something This is the last guy they get Who is that maybe he made the beat He's like you have done good It is being used for good Good job Better than my cousin though Faithful servant This make my neck beard feel very not itchy Good luck following that Fresh Prince of Delaware Hey Paul you're up Come on Paul It's Joker Being different isn't a bad thing It's what makes you special Oh he's having like the anime flashbacks Here we go to finally stand up I got a gun in my pocket [ __ ] dick You can't do dick I got dicks I got dick [Laughter] Who's that woman i guess these are parents They said I wouldn't make it Said I wasn't tough But I'm standing here now and I've had enough You don't know my story You don't know my pain But I'm putting work in And now make my name My dad left one day leaving us a bad I don't take it for granted I might never be cool I'll always be just take it from me and listen to my words Be unique be weary be all be bold We'll all be the same When we're wrinkled and old I may not fit in but I don't need to I'm just in my dreams doing what I need to calculate every step My moves precise in the lab cookie He ain't no need for the eyes with the glasses but now they surprise I'm the best alive Boom Mic drop Cut to the guy I want to see the guy I must tell my cousin Bill the other guy even more is even better at the rapping game Bird gets the warm Somebody said Angry Bird bust through the wall Look at his pops in this universe Why is there a tunnel in and wall you were so great Wait I thought you going to come I mean it was one bar What happened did you get fired a funny thing happened today This I got some dick Ludicrous paid maintenance This is the shape I made with my mouth Let's just say me and Ludicrous are uh good friends Could that Luda did oh I served the other day He showed up and offered me a job And what is that job it's higher pay and it comes with insurance There we go We can finally get those glasses fixed W mom get your contacts so you don't look like such a nerd Damn Actually I like them I think I'm on in this nerd thing I'll stick to the glasses Oh they look good on me Oh bad choice But they really do He failed the quick time over now I'll wait for you in the car You want to make Is it over with where you going little man you know excuse me Don't you prisoners no Call him a [ __ ] You see Paul almost gave up on his because he didn't think he said move But what he didn't realize was that being different is what made him stand out We all have our own So Ludicrous was in this for all of the 15 seconds The world listens Hey Hey there's a lesson to be learned Never judge a book by its cover It's okay to be different Ludicrous was in there for 10 seconds I wonder how much he got paid Ludicrous probably made bank You know what little man you should rap See you Be yourself Goodbye You know what you are kind of a freak Do that See you You know what people made fun of me Keep doing your thing I also wore stupid shirts when I was your age My mama only bought me flannel Made me the man I am today See you around Amen He's like "You look a lot better with a big old afro." Right after he gets a cut You ain't got enough hair Bye I've been drinking off creek all day and now I'm [ __ ] face I've been drinking off all day and now I'm [ __ ] [ __ ] face I've been drinking white all day 45 healthier