Overview
This lecture introduces the concept of emotion coaching, its importance for emotional regulation, and practical steps for implementing it with children and young people.
Introduction to Emotion Coaching
- Emotion coaching helps manage emotional reactions, responses, and reasoning in ourselves and others.
- The approach supports emotional regulation, making children feel seen, safe, soothed, and secure.
- Emotion coaching is useful for everyone, as social beings rely on relationships for emotional support.
Importance of Emotional Regulation
- Behaviors are a communication of emotions, often shaped by relationships and environments.
- Six primary emotions are believed to be hardwired; how we express them varies culturally and contextually.
- Emotions drive decision-making and survival responses, often requiring quick action.
How We Learn to Regulate Emotions
- Children learn behaviors from significant adults, repetition, and their environment.
- Feeling safe and secure is essential before learning and brain development can occur.
- Secure, nurturing relationships optimize emotional learning and regulation.
Stress and Emotional Systems
- The social engagement system helps with connection, creativity, and problem-solving.
- The stress response system protects from threats, narrowing focus and triggering physiological changes.
- Some stress is necessary, but chronic (toxic) stress damages mental and physical health.
- Vagal tone, the balance between these two systems, is linked to resilience and emotional well-being.
Benefits of Emotion Coaching
- Emotion coaching aids understanding and management of emotions, leading to better self-regulation.
- John Gottman's research shows that children with emotion-coaching parents are more resilient, focused, and academically successful.
- Practitioners using emotion coaching report better relationships, improved behavior, and increased sensitivity to children's needs.
Approaches to Emotion Regulation
- Four parent/adult responses: emotion dismissing, emotion disapproving, laissez-faire (permissive), and emotion coaching.
- Dismissing and disapproving do not teach children to label or manage emotions.
- Emotion coaching supports recognizing, accepting, and managing emotions, while distinguishing between emotion and behavior.
The Four Steps of Emotion Coaching
- Step 1: Recognize and empathize with the child's emotions.
- Step 2: Validate and help label the emotion verbally.
- Step 3: Set clear boundaries about acceptable behavior.
- Step 4: Problem-solve together to find alternatives for next time.
Emotion Coaching in Practice
- Emotion coaching is a relational, not therapeutic, approach.
- Adults co-regulate with children to teach self-regulation skills.
- Emotional moments are seen as opportunities for teaching, not discipline.
- Listening empathetically and labeling emotions helps children regain control and learn effective responses.
Key Terms & Definitions
- Emotion coaching — an approach that helps children manage and understand their emotions through empathetic support and guidance.
- Emotional regulation — the ability to recognize, manage, and respond to emotional experiences.
- Social engagement system — bodily system supporting relationship-building, play, and problem-solving.
- Stress response system — bodily system activated by threats, focusing on protection and survival.
- Vagal tone — the effectiveness of balancing stress and social engagement systems for resilience.
Action Items / Next Steps
- Visit the Emotion Coaching UK website for free resources, newsletters, and contact information.
- Explore online training opportunities on emotion coaching.
- Consider reading more about current research and practical exercises in emotion coaching.