how to get your ex back when he or she is an avoidant I know that's a huge question because you're facing someone that won't be able to communicate the way you want that person won't be able to express their feelings their needs and also their understanding of the situation so I'm here today because I really want to show you that it is possible to get back with an avoidant to show to your avoidant that you can create something different where you can create a connection you can make them feel that they are special and you can make them feel that you understand their personality as well the only thing is there is five tools to understand or five tips to really apply when you're trying to get back with an avoidant yesterday I was coaching an amazing person is a great client of mine he's name is Joe and he was telling me Alex she is a dismissive avoidant and he was always talking about what happened talking about the mistakes on his side on her side he was talking about what was the situation before and he was trying to fix the past I told him listen Jo I know you're doing good I know you're trying your best but what you do right now is just pushing your ex away and the reason why it's because you are focused on yesterday you tried so much to understand what happened to look at the mistakes that you're creating a negative behavior negative Dynamic that's of course what we want to avoid so if you want to get back with an avoidant There is five things that you need to know right now number one your ex will never communicate the way you want because as avoidant it takes much more time for them to express their feelings to manage their emotions to process the situation that's why every time you want to act fast you're making a huge mistake communication cannot be your number one tool because you're facing someone that want be able to communicate your ex won't be able to connect with you just because they are avoidant and also because they want to make sure that you won't try you won't try to save your relationship you won't try to be available needy they just want to make sure that you respect in a sense their decision so tip number one communication cannot be used to get your X back so we will have to find another way to touch them so how can we do that usually when I coach you you will try to communicate and to talk to your ex and see your ex of course and this is where I will ask you to try something different the rule that I want you to try right now is to understand that short contacts build attraction and avoid pressure on your ex so your ex won't feel overwhelmed your ex won't feel that you're you know putting him on a pedestal putting her on a pedest and so your ex will feel attracted towards you so instead of spending couple of hours on the phone you know I was coaching an amazing woman she told me look Alex it's great my ex is an avoidant it's a longdistance relationship we spent two hours on the Pharm I told her this is insane but because I can guarantee you for the next two weeks you won't hear from him if he's an avoidant and you spend two hours on a phone you're basically using all of his energy so everything that he has will be into one phone call I told her the maximum you can do is 20 minutes you do between 15 to 20 minutes a phone call so he wants to talk to you the next day and we can build the momentum and the attraction if you talk to him for two hours this guy won't be able to give you any emotions any attention for the next two weeks so this is the number one tip that you need to Jud if you're trying to get back with an avoidant you need to shorten the communication and even when you will meet in person because if it's too long we will lose his energy if it's too long we will we we won't be able to connect with that person right and that is the reason why I want to make sure that we change your mindset right now so what we want to do instead tip number three if your ex is an avoidant make sure that you accept the distance we call it radio silence it's also named the no contact it's not really the no contact because if your ex text you yeah we can respond if your ex wants to talk to you yes 15 minutes only but if your ex is not texting you and they are avoidant please make it longer the no contact will be not one week but maybe two weeks in your case you need to be okay with the idea that the distance build attraction and also the distance will make your ex be able to feel understand so you will understand them you will make them feel better that's how we can get so much results okay tip number four and this is really specifically for the avoidant don't try to meet for simple activity I have seen that avoidant they have this also side of them that makes them Sensational meaning they want to experience something they want to enjoy the moment they want to have memories so it's weird because we need to be distant but when we meet we also need to create such an amazing connection we need to enjoy every single moment so you cannot meet an avoidant if it's not new and unique at the same time okay that is the reason why I want to make sure that you will follow my direction because I can guarantee you it is very powerful I will share with you tip number five but make sure to smash the like button and of course to subscribe to love advice TV we are here with Coach Adrien to give you the solutions to get your EXs back so tip number five and this is also where you are always making a mistake listen to that today you're trying to get your ex back by focusing on them but if they are avoidant they want to see your project they want to see that you have your own goals so instead of thinking for both of you we focus on your life and sell your life to your ex show to your ex that you're going out show to your ex that you're doing new activities show to your ex that you love the moment show to your ex that you focus on you before to focus on both and you know what that's when you would spark their interest their interest would raise and then boom we can start the re-attraction process so we can make your ex come back we can show to your ex that we having so much results and I want you to do it right now so it is very much possible to get your X back when they are avoidant the only issue is that you're doing it your way I don't want that you need to do it differently there is no other options so if your X is avoidant remember number one communication is not key number two we want to shorten the contact 20 minutes on a phone call maybe one or two hours in person that's it so we can create more attraction and they want to come to you number three remember that no contact radio silence distance will be longer with an avoidant number four we need to make sure that every time you meet it should be intense with a new activity and number five instead of talking thinking for both think about your life think about yourself think about your activity why because that's when the voidance start to know that he or she won't felt overwhelmed you have your own life I feel secure I feel like it's better so I can breathe if your life is me as an avoidant I will only leave you I cannot stay with you okay okay so what you need to know right now if you look in the description or in the chat I have a special method the special method 100% getting back with an avoidant this method is actually in a discount for only $49 you will have a training tellor to avoidant and how to re attract them if you want to talk to me privately you can apply for private coaching in the description there is a link couple of questions just so you we know each other and My Success manager he will call you and he will be able to tell you what's the best package but let's be honest here if you try to get your ex back that is avoidant the same way that you would get back anyone else that's a huge mistake that is the reason why everything that you tried did not work because unfortunately what you do is not what they expect so I want you know I want you to know guys that you should not be worried and you should not think that it's not possible don't want you to lose Faith but I want you to change your behavior so we can get great results okay so that's the best way for me to go get the results and to make you happy because I know getting back with an avoidant can be a pain in the ass right so that's the reason why we want to change that we want to create this different Vision thank you again for watching this live remember to smash the like button subscribe to love advice TV ask me your question so next time I will respond to your question next Tuesday I promise I will respond to your question okay guys I will see you very soon stay strong stay positive and remember it's not over just change the dynamic change your actions try something different I see you soon guys take good care and remember click in the description to get access to my special program and for private coaching you can apply with my success manager see you soon guys