hello and welcome to the rcb podcast powered by kotak mahindra bank i remember i think it was ray jennings at the time coach and and sid who approached me uh we i remember we were playing the champions league in south africa and shortly after that were the retentions going to take place so ray jennings and nsid came and they said we want to have a chat with you we are looking to retain only you um from next year onwards and we'll build a totally new squad and i was like that's that's great that's the opportunity i'm looking for but i told them very clearly there's only one condition i will only bat at number three and nowhere else i said fair enough and i knew that i can i can do something special for the team and i had no problem um accepting that responsibility and and you know for the team to feel like yes they can they can count on me [Music] hey everybody welcome to the rcb podcast my name is danish and with me today virat virat i'm going to begin by asking you the theme of this year's podcast which is how has the ipl changed your life oh that's a pretty impactful theme well like so many other people ipl has had a big uh influence and impact in my life i think uh outside of of uh playing for india and having the opportunity to play for india um ipl really gave me the platform to continue to show my my capabilities and and compete against the best players in the world and and share knowledge with them i think that was the the most important thing that that really added a different dimension to my understanding of the game and really helped me move ahead in a very um in a very progressive manner where i was i was picking brains of people that i probably wouldn't have come across before how to play in different conditions what mindset they have you know people have different ways to succeed so it just can't be one template so i i used to be so um excited and grateful for the opportunity to pick their brains and and just learn from them day in day out and that for me has been the standout feature of ipl of course you come to any tournament you want to win you want to perform but the experience of actually getting to know people and understanding their mindset and speaking to them about the game are different perspectives all together that i think has been the most amazing thing about ipl let's go back in time a little bit uh and talk about the time when you decided you would become a cricketer in retrospect looking back would you have done something differently i don't think so i i have done everything that i could of course there are mistakes along the way but i don't think that my intent was ever in the wrong place when it came to playing cricket i wanted to win at any cost from the day i started playing this game from the day i started playing club cricket school cricket then state cricket heading up to first class cricket and then eventually getting to play for india and ipl as well afterwards my mindset was the the same always which is play to win and at any cost so that hasn't changed ever do you remember the day you got picked up by rcb and just to go back in time what were you doing that day well we were all in malaysia for the under 19 world cup and i remember the day when um the drafts were happening and and the under 19 dynamic was a little different because we very rightly so had um uh a money cap if i could say i mean that was the only time where i saw um a restriction on on how much you could be picked for if you haven't played for india of course um so that for us was i remember even that moment for us was so amazing because the amount that we got picked for when they revealed it we were like we couldn't believe it you know um so if you had played a number of first class games you were eligible to get x amount of money which was the maximum in that bracket and if you hadn't it obviously was lesser so when we heard that we were picked for that much um we obviously didn't know anything about the teams we didn't know any anything about the dynamic of the tournament we understood what it's going to be like um we knew that the opportunity is going to be huge but we didn't know how the environment is going to be for us at that time was wow we never imagined at this stage we would be getting that kind of money which you know obviously is is a big impact in anyone's life especially when most of the cricket players you see come from backgrounds which are not as privileged in terms of you know having facilities ready and and stuff to use at any time you want so you have to work through the ranks and you have to work really hard so it just gives you a new motivation in life that yes what i'm doing is going to reap me the rewards which i believe should be the case when you've chosen it as a as a career and i clearly remember we went we went absolutely crazy there was one conversation where i heard from people that that the delhi team is is interested to go after me but then the the the dynamic of their squad turned out to be so that they went for pradeep sangwan who was a left arm seemer um amazing bowler at the time he was he was our best bowler in under 19 and so delhi decided to go for him because they wanted the bowling strengthened and then rcb picked me and that that i think um again in hindsight i feel like that was there was such an impactful moment in my life which i didn't realize at the time but now when i look back things could have been very different to what they are now and i would not have it any other way than this 2010 kevin peterson mark voucher ross taylor darren sammy manish pandey robin uttapa the rcb management decides to let go of all of them and put the team's responsibility on your shoulders that must have been a big moment right i felt great to be honest i didn't i didn't shy away from it because i knew the first three years of the ipl i knew that i always had this belief that i can do something special for the team but i was not but you obviously have your own skill sets as well so i felt like the composition of that team where they were amazing players and rightly so in the right positions i was not able to play in the position that was my strength and um for the first three years it was yes it was on and off more like a scratch for me a performance here a performance there um it wasn't as free-flowing and as consistent as i would have liked it to be because i was playing at number three for india and i wasn't getting to do that in the ipl so it was a bit of a strange situation for me because i felt like i can replicate my india performances here and maybe better if i get the opportunity and i remember i think it was ray jennings at the time coach and and sid um who approached me uh we i remember playing the champions league in south africa and shortly after that were the retentions going to take place so ray jennings and ncd came and they said we want to have a chat with you we are looking to retain only you um from next year onwards and we'll build a totally new squad and i was like that's that's great that's the opportunity i'm looking for but i told them very clearly there's only one condition i will only be at number three and nowhere else um i said fair enough and i knew that i can i i can do something special for the team and i had no problem um accepting that responsibility and and you know for the team to feel like yes they can they can count on me uh what's your first memory at rcb first memory is actually i remember we got to um bangalore and if i'm not wrong we were we we did a launch at taj west end i remember um and it was a collaboration with some clothing brand who had done formal clothing for rcb i think so peter england or louis philippe one of those and i remember um we were called to bangalore and i checked into windsor and then we were called to taj for this first event the day i arrived uh so the squad is going to be presented it was amazing atmosphere like it was a proper ramp and all the who's who of bangalore and you know everyone's there and everyone's excited to see the players and the squad was presented and i remember walking into the room and that's the first time i've met zach and and uh pk and these guys and for me it was surreal because i was just sitting there and i was so timid i was actually taken aback by the fact that i'm sitting in the same room with these guys they just made me feel comfortable and from there on our camaraderie our friendship grew and but yeah that that moment for me was very intimidating i clearly remember is this the famous omni year as well you can tell us that story that's a fun story without taking names i was after that season because i was an under 19 boy and i was sent to the airport after the season ended in a omni van and which i wasn't quite pleased about because everyone else was getting like a decent car to go to the airport in and i was the only one that was left and probably they would have said ah just give him anything just get him to the airport um and that wasn't a good car i'm sorry to say but i would have at least like a decent car which which is not broken i could see the road through the through the middle of the car it was absolutely gone like it was on on its last leg so not not a good memory so you've literally seen benguru like left right up down as well what's your connection with the city and what are some of your favorite places in bengaluru because you are a bengal boy right that's how everybody looks at you and how do you compare bengaluru to the other cities in our country well bangalore has obviously bengaluru sorry it has a very special place in my heart uh it's it's it's always had a strong impact in my life starting from the time that we used to come to bangalore for the under 14 under 15 ncaa camps and we used to be there for two two and a half months um at one stretch so we used to explore quite a bit of bangalore even then but i think since the ipl happened and and me playing there for so many years i the reason i say i'll play here till the last day of me playing the ipl is because i just cannot see myself being in any other environment uh so the the city has a very different feel to any other place in india it is just when you when you arrive when you land at the airport and you when you're driving to the hotel you just feel like you've you've come home you know so that's that's a very difficult feeling to get in a city that that you haven't been born and grown up in and you just go there for a period in the air so it i've had a very strong connection with bangalore a very organic as i said very organic connection with the city i've i've made some amazing friends over the years there and um again absolutely chilled out people very nice people i haven't felt like the friends that i've made in bangalore have in any way try to you know capitalize on who i've become they've always stayed true to you know the organic side of the friendship and they're still still talk to me the same way and um it's quite amazing and exploring the city as well obviously it's evolved and changed so much over the years um ub city was the spot for us back in the day uh if you wanted to eat out shiro was some was a place that i went to the most i think uh in bangalore virat um i know you love rcb just as much as rcb loves you even for a moment for a second while playing this ipl tournament have you ever wondered is the grass greener on the other side to be very honest i have thought about it yes i won't shy away from it and i've been approached many times as well to come into the auction somehow put my name in there and stuff and then i thought about it i was like at the end of the day everyone has x number of years that they live right and then you die and then life moves on and there would have been many great people who want trophies and this that and blah blah blah but no one addresses you like that no one addresses you in the room like oh he's an ipl champion or he's a world cup champion and it's like if you're a good person people like you if you're if you're a bad guy they stay away from you and eventually that's what life is all about so for me the understanding that the loyalty with rcb like how i i follow my life is far greater for me than than the fact that yes five people in the room would say oh finally you've won the ipl with whoever xyz and yeah you feel good for five minutes but then the sixth minute you could be miserable with some other issue in life so it is not the end of the world for me um what this franchise has um given me in terms of opportunity in the first three years and and believed in me that is the most special thing because as i said there were many teams who had the opportunity but they didn't they didn't back me they didn't believe in me so now when i'm successful and i should fall to the opinion of people saying but the ipl this was the case with me till 2018 england two happened for four years of my life i was doing well everywhere in the world the only thing was but england so there's always going to be butts you you literally can't live your life like that and i just carry on doing my own thing and i actually honestly don't even bother about a third person beyond um myself anushka discussing things and just being true to ourselves and and that's it for me nothing else or no one else's opinion matters at all yeah driver's license my metrocard or yehamera 2016 the loss in the finals does it hurt you that rcb hasn't won an ipl title under your leadership it it disappoints me i i would say that we had opportunities where we came close um but look at the end of the day i won't call it luck because the opposition's there to play as well and if they were better on the day you have to accept it we have to accept the fact that the reason why we have not won is because we haven't been probably been as as courageous or as clear in our our plans um as we should have been you know in those crunch moments and yes you could say that the odds were stacked um against us in terms of the expectations were only for us to win and all that but you have to deal with those expectations you can't run away from them you can't say oh i'm the underdog and let's see what happens every game stuff doesn't work like that yes if you if you were the best team in 2016 and people expected i mean that that game for me was i felt like it was written like how could the finals be in bangalore and we play that kind of a season and we play that kind of a game where we are 100 something without loss in nine overs and till date i mean it's a fact that even kl to this date he when there's a there's a highlight package running on star of that game you take screenshots and say it still hurts and you know it it does to an extent it does i mean you're due to think about that game every now and then and how they were you know dejected faces sitting in that amazing setup that we had done for a post victory celebration and there was no music and such a huge setup and we were sitting there thinking man we gave everything that we had but yeah it just um i wouldn't say it wasn't our day we were not good enough on that day um it's easy to accept that but that is one game where i feel like um it hurts you know that from from all the ipl seasons that i've been a part of and losses and all that that game i felt like we had it we had it in front of us okay i want to take your opinion on this what is your favorite rcb era people remember the team for different eras right there was the bangalore boy zera the gale era the abd era and now the abd max failure and you've been a part of all of these which era would you rate the highest and why i would say um yes the earlier i was was great i think uh the 910 season is is when we did really well as a team we reached the finals in nine and semi's in ten and we reached the champions league finals um [Music] champions league semi-finals in 10 as well um so that was the era where um anil kum le rahul david you know the bangalore legends you might say um were playing for rcb and that was a great phase to be a part of for me as a youngster i really enjoyed being depart being a part of it but for me the game changed when abe was was bought in 2011 and chris was signed mid-season in 2011. i just felt like when chris came in um and abe was doing what he was doing and i was feeling you know confident like i never felt before i felt like something special could happen and we reached the finals in 11 champions league finals in 11 and the kind of cricket we played like with the three the focal point being three of us was something which is absolutely unbelievable i mean for for us to feel so powerful stepping on the field that we knew that we could intimidate bowlers it was such a an amazing feeling because you're literally not thinking about anything else you know the bowler's thinking when he's running into bowl that three of these guys if two back together for a while that's you know it's trouble for us um so that has been the most amazing thing um the contribution of chris to this franchise obviously remains very special um aba is a rcb legend so is chris but i think three of us together and then that that uh that that year of 2016 which kl came into his own i think i i personally feel that and he he believes and he agrees with with that as well that his career graphs changed after that that ipl was the time where everyone saw what kl rahul could do and from there on he got opportunities to play for india and then you know he is the player yesterday um that season was obviously unbelievable that was that was so amazing in a way that you have four guys performing at their peak game in game out which is so rare to see in t20 cricket and we just got on a roll where we felt like fine even if we are not doing well in the season we could still make it that belief never went away which i think is very difficult to difficult to create again and again and that was that happened very very naturally that season for good or bad what's the most transformative ipl story that you've come across you've seen people from so many teams players support staff it could be anybody the only person that that comes to mind for me two people actually that comes come to mind for me are kale and yuzi the the reality of the situation was in rcb in 2013 along with karun and my uncle was here till 2012 i think 2012 2012. um so kl was was never a guy who was looked at as a t20 specialist and that the here's the interesting part and he was part of sunrises hyderabad i'm not wrong in 2015 and um avinash vader was our our manager before he approached me because he was in touch with kl and he was not getting any game time and i had seen kl play for india i hadn't seen much of kl since he left rcb and i'd heard of gail's doing well in first class cricket and all that but we were never i mean he was a he was very young when he was in rcb and i was already playing for india and you know we were playing regularly for rcb so we we never connected in a very um detailed manner like we wouldn't spend so much time with each other the younger guys were doing their own stuff and they would hesitate to come you know talk to us or spend time with us so i had seen him play in australia in 2014 when he made his test debut and i felt like wow he's seriously worked some wonder on his game he's come back an amazing player he started off so strongly in australia so i was i was very impressed with his body language his confidence's demeanor and then he was playing for sunrises wasn't getting many opportunities and the opportunities he got i felt like he was playing under pressure you could see like you know he's trying to prove a point he's trying to prove himself in the ipl so when the opportunity came through i thought this guy's got unbelievable talent and maybe playing in bangalore and playing for rcb would just ease things off for him because there you know he's playing in front of his home crowd and there's a b myself chris and if kl can play a role maybe he can grow in confidence you know he doesn't need to be the focal point or that youngster who has to prove himself it's all about being a part of this this great team and and just showing what he can do and the way he batted in that season for me that was trans that was a great transformation of seeing a player who was just there and thereabouts to becoming suddenly this beast in six months time and from there on he's carried through same with yuzi he wasn't getting many opportunities before in the ipl and he came to bangalore and a guy who always wanted to to take the ball and bull the way he did in china swami was was unbelievable and you know his life changed from there so these two are the the two stories that i can think of which in front of me i felt like were huge milestones um in their careers and that happened because of ipl and the opportunity it presented you spoke about anushka we've seen her take a lot of pride uh when you play for rcb or when the team's on the field what's her take on your relationship with the franchise well she's a bangalore girl you know she's she's grown up there um she's got i mean she spent way more time than i have in bangalore no not many people know this um and she's she has a special connection with the city already so obviously she feels very happy that you know i i am playing for rcb and my commitment is always going to be for this franchise and for this for the city um so there's a special connection already with the city for her and then the way the the franchise is obviously looked after her when she's here in the the setup the environment those things are of great value because when you're made to feel part of a larger family which rcb is you feel like again you know she then she understands the the point of view of why playing for rcb and the loyalty side of things is so special to the both of us um and it is it is something that you cannot demand you cannot you cannot uh forcefully ask someone it is respect it is mutual respect so she feels very proud and she feels very um happy of course when we do well and she obviously she can feel the sadness when we don't do well as well and as i said there's a special connection with bangalore already so for her it was a it was just things coming together in the most perfect manner that i happen to play for the same city and you know she gets to go back to bangalore and relive those special memories of her growing up there and she absolutely loves it she absolutely loves it there's so much international cricket that's played what makes the ipl so special for you well it's refreshing [Music] international cricket is getting more and more busy and it's it's getting so packed in a way that you feel like there's i mean to be very honest there have been times where i felt like um we could easily have had a quality a break at this moment at least the guys who have more workload right so that's the interesting part i mean we all love playing for our country obviously that's the most important thing but at the end of the day you have to realize that the the next lot also has to come through and they have to be tested as well so finding space for that possibility to take place is also very important because then you're thinking progressively then you're thinking about okay fine these guys are playing today but the reality is that we will not be playing one day so do you have another set of 15 people who are ready to win games for india and not have a dip for a year and a half two years where you're feeling like oh what's going on here you know it's very easy to ignore that and it's very easy for i can understand there are there are many um obligations there are sponsors and and whatnot but at the end of the day you have to plan in a progressive manner obviously the sponsors would want the the big names to play every series but that's not humanly possible so there has to be some kind of balance i would say between the two um there's a reason why people enjoy playing the ipl is because it brings a fresh dynamic it's a competition of eight teams um it's a multi-team competition you you look at the kind of passion we play the icc tournaments with it's a no-brainer i mean you bring in that number that many number of teams it's a new challenge it's it's something fresh it's something or you play this team today you play the other team the next day and you don't know who you're going to play in the semis so it's such excitement saying wow this you know there's like motivation after motivation and that's that's stimulating you in a way that you feel like okay let's go let's go next one next one next month which i think this tournament provides because there's so many ups and downs and there's there's a there's a package which is comprised in a way that you could be on top one week and four days into the second week you could be feeling like oh are we going to make it and then you have to find motivation and and come back into the tournament so that's what gets people going and there's no surprise that people play with a lot of passion in the ipl okay you've played with a lot of great international players for rcb if you had to convince one of them to take up an indian citizenship and play for india who would it be and why maybe he wants to take you to south africa by the way well it's a no-brainer because a guy like eb can can contribute so immensely to the environment that he's a part of just by being himself amazing human being extraordinary player no one even needs to talk about his game it is beyond belief the kind of things he does and i as much as i have been at the peak of playing international cricket and peak of my abilities you just come off a six month layoff and bat in a manner that you feel like and i've i've probably worked five years to get to this level and this guy comes with a six month layoff for not having played any cricket and he's batting five levels above you it is phenomenal i i don't think anyone has had or has the kind of ability that a b has and it's just his approach towards life in general and the way he enjoys the game that is such a big inspiration to me he's if i've taken inspiration from anyone outside the game within the game if that makes sense outside of the field within the game that has to be a b um the way he approaches life and the way he's taken decisions to prioritize the right things in his life which is at the end of the day that's all that matters so if i had to convince one guy it would be a b and it would be a very easy decision because he already gets so much support from the indian crowds even when he played for south africa against india you have 50 000 name 50 000 people in the stadium shouting abd abd so that can't happen by chance that is a very very special thing to happen that does not happen to anyone anywhere in the world to be very honest and it's not like the south african fans have come to one killer they were indian fans chanting abd abd that was we were like what the hell is going on here you know but that's that's who he is that's that's the magic of amy virat um you know i learned how to pack for a long tour after having a chat with you i know you're the guy who carries like seven plain t-shirts and four shots in your code i learned how to pack from you um but this one's an important question right what does all the fame money and reputation mean to you not much really to be honest um because look people don't realize this um until you experience it right so you can experience success at a very different level you can experience fame at a very different level um fame is one thing that i i can't sit here and say i love it because i've never been a guy who's i like my own time i i like to be left alone because i i understand that i need to recharge myself stay connected to myself to be able to be the best version of myself for people for my family for the game and if if i can't do that then i'm not happy and i think fame takes away a lot of a big part of you in that regard because what that does is that even you walk past any area anywhere and there is someone or the other who's having an interaction with you and it's constant and you can't shut off people obviously people are being nice to you they love what you do and you obviously have to respond and you have to connect with them but over a period of time you realize that you want some normalcy so fame success um money all these things they look great when you don't when you don't quite have them but to be honest that is not the key to happiness i mean i could sit here and say that i have all all the three but there are moments where i'm just not happy i mean if if 10 years ago you would you would have told me um or you'd get all this and you'll be happy that's not true you still have to i mean today as much as i've achieved in the game the game does not stop right if i want to play i have to be as committed as i was before i got the success and while i was getting the success so when you get to a certain point you can't just say okay that's it now the game should finish it doesn't happen and if you want to continue to be a part of the game you are just a part of the game you are just a part of the larger scheme of things that's very important to understand so you are not you are not it basically and and that's something that me and anushka both we we discuss this so much and we are absolutely on the same page and i'm so grateful that i have someone like anushka to be absolutely honest with me and tell me things that you know i i might not be doing right um and it's it's easy to drift away very easy to drift away in in the position or the situation that we are in but to have honest conversations with each other is something that keeps us on the right track and and the journey is very tough it's it's not an easy journey to be in i mean people on the outside they feel like oh they have everything it must be so easy but it's not because at the end of the day you realize we thought getting these things will sort things out but when you get there and you feel like this wasn't the answer you get even more confused you're like so what are we actually doing you know where are we heading and that's when you actually sit down and realize when you are absolutely yourself in every moment that you're a part of whether you're with your family whether you're playing your sport doing anything that you do in life or being in the profession that you are the the fact that you can be yourself in that moment is all that matters for the rest of your life and you have to keep doing it day in day out you know we talk about doing the hard yards and doing the the the putting putting in the work that's that's how i look at life exactly the same way every day you have to put in the work and being true to yourself is the work for life and no fame money success can get you rid of that because you have to keep doing it every day otherwise you're miserable is is this wisdom the reason why you said okay i need to not be the captain in one format at least so that i have time for myself and my family was was that one of the reasons as well this this wisdom absolutely it is um i'm not someone who would hold on to things more than i should um even if i know i can do a lot more but i'm not gonna enjoy that process i'm not going to do it because it's very difficult to to make a decision or sorry if i may put it this way for people to understand your decisions unless they are in your situation right from the outside people have their own expectations or you how did that happen we are so shocked there's nothing to be shocked about i explained to people that i wanted some space and i wanted to manage my workload and the story ends there now you can create 10 000 stories in your head that there's some reasons and there must be something going on and fine that that that runs your show that that's okay and people love having those conversations which are fantastical and eventually they realize were just wasting their time there was actually nothing at all and i keep my life very simple and basic when i wanted to make a decision i made a decision and i announced it i didn't want to think about it and contemplate it for another year year and a half that would have done nothing to me nothing to the environment i'm part of um so quality of life is something very important to me and quality of cricket is something very important to me over a period of time yes you want to do what you're doing it day in day out and you want to do as much as you can but at the end of the day you have to realize that quality is far more important than quantity quantity in hard work but quality in execution that is that is the key because if you go for quantity and execution then you're gonna get burnt out and as much as you love playing the sport and as as much as you love being intense on the field if you can't do that for me that's very important if i can't be myself in my everyday life and if i can't be myself on the field i will change something because that is why i am that is the reason where i am where i i am where i am and that is the reason why people can connect to me uh at a certain level and people my loved ones people who are close to me my friends they connected to me because of that factor because i've always been myself so i cannot be doing something that i'm not enjoying and being miserable every day of my life and just wasting such precious time you have one life you have to live it absolutely to the fullest and and be happy every day uh you're one of the biggest brands in indian sport i'd say around the world right how did ipl help virat the brand grow so what ipl does is ipl obviously along with being the best 2020 tournament in the world it obviously is a great opportunity for for brands to partner with teams and and you know have people do campaigns through the season which otherwise it's a very difficult thing to to compile together you know having so many big names in one screen it's very difficult to to get together so i think the usp of of ipl and the brand side of things has been that you would have a chris gayle abwe's and myself in a single frame doing some funny stuff which you wouldn't get to see otherwise at an individual level so i think that's where ipl really elevated people's brand value not just myself i mean to be very honest as an individual i i would say that i would have gained more performing obviously performing for india and doing that through the year um and becoming that person that you know you can relate to or or the brands can bank on saying okay we can do long partnerships and stuff like that but i think for for people in general in the ipl i think that's especially the overseas players that's opened up opportunities like they wouldn't have imagined before and that's basically down to mixing up the indian guys the big names in indian sport in indian cricket and being part of campaigns where they start becoming relatable to people eventually and so that's how the dynamic has rolled on um but i honestly in all honesty i feel that the the brand side of things for me has purely been based on my performances from india yayamira driver's license my metrocard or yahamera fan card now this one's a big question but an important one right uh what do we the audience not see about your cricket journey i don't like to call that call that aspect of things hardship but it's the moments when you are sitting in your room with absolutely zero confidence with absolutely zero conviction that you can perform the next day and what it takes to overcome that that is some i can show you training videos i can show you what i do on a monthly basis and yes you can take inspiration and all that but it's very difficult for anyone to know what it takes for you to [Music] to play under the kind of pressure you have to play in keep up with those performances make sure that you are committing yourself 200 to make your team win and when things are not going right how you manage all those expectations from yourself not from people um so that i think is the most challenging part of of being at a level at the top level for 15 20 years it cannot happen in any other way because you can you obviously have the skill you have the ability but how you react to the times when you're not feeling great and how you [Music] ride that wave and and accept things the way they are but still can't it's it's a it's a very delicate thing to do when you you know you're not doing well and you you feel like you don't want to work you don't want to you don't want to go to practice you don't want to work hard in the gym it's it eats you up from the inside because that's not who you are and your mind is dominating you and it's making you feel like you're not good enough at the same time you you are part of a competition and you have to keep going and this there's a space in between where you you cannot afford to so you're so one foot is in doubt and the other food is in this empty space in between but you know that this is this this true nature of yours which is fearless believe in yourself instinctively work for things is on the other side but it's still a part of the ecosystem so you can't let go of that still you can't just go fine on day three of a test match i'm done i'm going home it doesn't work that way you got two more test matches to go how do you manage feeling so bad wanting to eat anything that comes in front of you going away from all your disciplines at the same time keep working hard because you're still part of that competition and you are committed to play for your country for your team and at the same time not drop your work ethic when during that work in the gym you're feeling absolutely worthless and you feel like i don't want to lift even a piece of paper forget any weights that is for me the the main essence of being at this level for so long because you can go through that the and it's not to say oh things will be so much better on the other side but you feel like as a as an individual you're respecting all phases of life and even in your worst times you are committed to do the hard work and it's not based on success that to me is is the real real game here because that is eventually god's test is how i look at it and if you're not up to the test then you're basically not being grateful and not being being loyal to the opportunity that's been given to you and man hey you're human you are going to go through ups and downs right because that's the thing right i mean i i take the decisions that i've taken and suddenly it hits people very differently because they look at me operating for the last seven eight years in a certain way and they feel like oh this guy's going to play every game this goes this guy's going to be on the screen all the time this guy is going to play a certain way all the time at the end of the day i can't explain to people the kind of emotions i deal with as an individual i'm not saying that my situation is drastically difficult but when i'm not judging anyone else's situation because i don't have experience of it so i can talk from a personal point of view you can still choose to judge or whatever that's that's your business i i don't have anything to do with it but i would personally not [Music] make a a judgment not judgment but an assessment of someone else's situation unless i've experienced it so maybe i've been doing what i've been doing managing all these things on the sidelines so that is something that i i will never be able to physically or in a documented manner or in steps or anything like that be able to explain to people because that's a very being in the moment thing which you feel a certain way and you have to overcome that every moment that you're a part of that for me is is the most important thing it's been so so so nice just hearing you like just like dish out wisdom after wisdom after wisdom i want to bring you back to where we started this entire conversation how has the ipl changed your life well um it's shown me many um many phases of of uh evolution of my life till now i mean i'm talking like i'm some 75 year old guy or something but still i'll talk about the last 10 years um from the time that i was striving through to to get an opportunity to perform then performing at at the peak of my abilities for so many years and and you know just being in that that hustle that competed competitive space that i've relished now seeing new talent coming up [Music] and getting excited by that is it's it's nothing like the ipl would have provided you with that opportunity year in year out because you can have someone have a great domestic season and they'll come and perform for india but to churn out talent after talent every year and exciting new prospects every year for me at this stage of my career that is the most important thing because where i stand i want to leave indian cricket in a in a very good space eventually when i when i retire with great talent and and strong individuals carrying on the work that we have done for the last so many years so it's very it's a beautiful thing to realize that ipl has shown you all these kind of phases from opportunity to to entertainment to you know playing passionately for your franchise and performing at a high level and camaraderie and friendships to now be being in a phase where you are kind of that senior person looking at new talent wanting to groom them and guide them in the right direction eventually all through this channel because otherwise you will not have these conversations after games with these guys every now and then and you know help them in in a certain way that kind of time being spent with these guys i'm sure is of great value like it was to us so i've experienced all phases with the ipl it's been an amazing journey thank you very much thank you [Music] listen to all the episodes of the rcb podcast on spotify ghana amazon prime music and apple podcast