what I'm about to tell you might seem contrary to what I teach but you have to understand reality Works through contrary through contradictions okay um it is the contradictions it is it is the battle between your light side and dark side that allows you to be who you are that allows you to be so interesting it is the battle between the light and the Dark Side of an artist that allows them to create work right it is a friction between the right and the left that allows us to keep propelling forward right without this friction without contradictions reality wouldn't be reality and so this is part of what I'm teaching you today okay is that sometimes you have to demand this from people and it is and it is not what you guys might think it is it's not respect okay it is more broader and I think it applies to a lot of people especially in this culture and is this asking for what you want all right ladies and gentlemen too many people today want intimacy too many people today want a genuine relationship but because everyone around everyone else around them is telling them to be more independent to not need people to not need a man to not need a woman to go on on your own it creates people that say okay in order to be happy I have to be completely independent I don't have to need someone and so these people then go out of go out of their ways to do this and they they end up with having me needs that are not unmet and the reason why is this I had a conflict with this friend of mine not this friend of mine I think I think there's this girl that I that most likely most likely does like me but I don't know to be honest with you but she gets pretty mad at me a lot um and it's not not intentional anyways there were she was supposed to go she invited me to go hiking and Goth knows I do not like hiking what the [ __ ] like what's up with these white people invied me to hike I just don't understand this [ __ ] man um and I just kept not I wasn't responding to her on time because I didn't want I didn't know how to tell her no I was like I don't I don't want to go hiking like leave that [ __ ] to [ __ ] Bob the [ __ ] xat you know and I didn't respond and she messaged me today she was like you know what I don't want to be your friend man you you you just ignored my messages a lot I'm like oh [ __ ] right and a part of you know what's funny a part of me wanted to to get offended by that right I'm like yo you don't even know me to be telling me that I was like you don't even know me like why why are you demanding this much of me but then a part of me realized I was like wait a minute that's why people this that's why people don't want to don't want to be honest because then they get G Gast lit because the truth is she is right I should be responding on time it is disrespectful right it was because of her her birthday right it is disrespectful right and I some and I just didn't respond for too long I I didn't I took my time to respond right and she told me that was that that that she doesn't like that and if this is how you're going to be then I don't want to be your friend and then I'm like okay look man I apologize I was like look I'm sorry I didn't mean to be an [ __ ] you know I just don't like hiking and I kind of didn't know how to tell you that you know she didn't respond right but something it taught me something sometimes from the rece from her end she might think what she's doing is a lot of people think what what she's doing is needy right especially if you if you really like someone you might be afraid to do this because you might think you're over step overstepping the boundaries what you are doing when you do this is that you're seeing how good this person is with conflict first of all is are they humble enough even though it might be too soon how humble am I to at least recognize that she has a point and and not cut off the Friendship a lot of us are so afraid to ask for what we want because we think we're going to look needy and I tell you don't do that let me tell you why and I'm going to go about it from an emotional point of view and then a generational point of view from the book um um the fourth turning it's a really good book it talks about that people fear ask being direct about what want because it could potentially scare off people especially if you meet people online that's where a lot of you guys are meeting people especially younger people older people are meeting people through normal settings a little bit more but usually people under 40 nowadays are are doing online dating and because of that um they know that other people have so many more matches that they don't want to scare off their their potential matches and so everyone is under that illusion everyone else is getting a lot of matches and and and and you have to go a little um you have to be careful because when you're online people just unmatch you for anything so then you it creates this illusion that that's how dating is that if you actually meet someone in real life face to face that's not online that they're actually going to be that way no it's actually not the truth when when when most people are getting a lot of options people become dispensable that's just the truth and and because of that social media then promotes and curates this type of mentality idealized vers of relationship where everyone is independent where you're able to walk away from the relationship and not feel hurt where you're able to to to to be completely independent and not need someone and people even take pride in that it leads people to feel insecure or hesitant about expressing that maybe you want more that maybe I don't like the fact that you take too long to respond maybe I don't like the fact that you're always late on our meetups even though we're friends I the fact that I don't like the fact that you forgot that we were supposed to meet up right why because you are afraid to look vulnerable right you're afraid to look needy cuz people could Gaslight you they like that's the problem is that when you ask what you want a lot of [ __ ] [ __ ] will Gaslight you and say oh look at you being needy oh look at you right and this is where I come in people if you have a if you have because it is true sometimes we do ask things and they come across as needy and that's because maybe there's something in your face in your non-verbal cues that's communicating the neediness and let me tell you what you guys can do you guys can book a call with me with Father Adam Al and where I could tell show you and maybe and you describe to me your problem and I can literally fix it on the spot give you a strategy on how to fix it so that you don't have to repeat that behavior sometimes there's a lot of videos that I post and sometimes it could be overwhelming because there's so much information but if you work with with me one-onone you'll be able to get know exactly what to do on the exact situation and you don't have to really like think too much about it you just have to make sure to do exactly what I do all right so yeah click on the description down below there I have 15 30 one hour sessions um and there you guys can book a call with me today tomorrow it doesn't matter I am a very flexible person okay so do that or else they're going to dump you all right I'm kidding Ser they may dump you um so they're afraid to ask and be vulnerable that's a lot of people man a lot of people and then you have people who what what I want you to do is to change your perspective do not see demanding respect demanding a relationship asking for what you want do not see that as needy just don't because what it does is that it saves you time and and you might say wow but I did that and it turned them off it turned them off because they weren't that person for you I am telling you when you tell what you want and they're the right person they're not going to get turned off they may think it might be a little needy I'm telling you they might think that but without a shadow of a doubt if you're willing to walk away and you do this you're going to seem confident and is a type of confidence that's an open emot emotional openness type of confidence not the type of confidence where you hide with distance and space no the type of confidence that you say hey look this is what I want I'm looking at you in the eye you might think this is needy but this is what I'm looking for are you looking for that or hey you know what this is what I want I want you to be a little bit more in time hey man I like you but you respond too slow can you please a little do that a little bit now look with friends if they take a long time to respond that's fine as long as they don't cancel the meet up last minute as long as they go to the meetups I don't care if a friend takes a long time to respond right we're not crackheads with each other right with lovers though I'm I'm looking at the emotional component this is a compulsion [ __ ] and if you have no compulsion to text me that says me everything my friend has no compulsion to text me there's no there's no testosterone um inspiring my te my friend's text messages I hope there isn't but with a l hell yeah there's a lot of dopamine in there so yeah you well you should expect more emotions from people from people who you're dating so you should have demand that don't be afraid to say hey I like I like I like it I like being held this much hey I like when people respond to me this amount of time as long as you're around first of all this is you got to make a lot of people make the mistakes where they're so isolated where they have no reference of what's a healthy relationship that they have unrealistic expectations get the [ __ ] off of get off of online first of all touch grass and meet people when you get around people you start to especially people who are not the illusional meaning like like don't just be friends with people your age cuz you might be a young person and you might have those dumbass young person standards or online this is why when you're online your standards are so high it's unrealistic like people will literally unmatch you because you're you you're you're 5'10 and not 5'11 in real life just in real life does that really happen the have I've never met a girl and say yo you know what he's cute but he's one in Short no only online so online the more you stay there the more unrealistic your expectations and then you're going to start projecting that then you're going to sense other people's unrealistic expectations and because you're so careful you're going to stop asking for what you want you're going to bend to the Z guys of the culture which nowadays is z guys is fear of commitment that's Z guys people have a fear of commitment nowadays one they're too awkward two they don't know how to be around people physically because of just the society that we live in it's so much easier to be alone right so the Casual Norm of dating the normalization of casual dating and hookup can make serious commitments seem less appealing or necessary and so the expression of it might make you look old school the expression of it might make you look needy but it's all how you say it people it's all how you say it as long as you say this as long as you express your desire within willingness to walk away it's going to come across powerful like a BM it's G it's it's G to come like down like a thunderbolt I am telling you the worst type of setting standards is this type of standard where you're bluffing no I've had people tell me what they want and I'm like [ __ ] quivering in my feet like my my my first girl that I had she did that right she was like she delexis you know you're always doing this doing that but you never pay attention right I was like what she was like yeah man like blah blah blah blah she said and I was like I can't do that for you she walked away this is something that a lot of people are missing out on the type of confidence this projects this projects a calm confidence now again you got to make sure that you're not screaming that you don't have a knife well this is for women right you got to do this with a calm mind and with a willingness to walk away that calmness will have like a cold killer effect where it's like a cold killer like it's like it's like this like there like a calm confidence emanating from you that that creates intimidation and all another thing is that that people to that just more individualistic culture often emphasizes Personal Achievement and self-discovery which can conflict with the perceived constraints of commitment issues right so women's desire to be independent and men's desire to be masculine makes it hard for them to open up about this because they know they're going against the norm they don't want to be those needy people that tell you what you want [ __ ] that I don't care if you want your handheld when you walk say that you like this thing done to you say that and if they don't do it talk to them have a conversation you want them to hold you this long you want them to text you like this say it and if they can't do that that just tells you is not compatible there's nothing wrong with it you and people who say that's needy they're just gas Ling it's not needy what the [ __ ] honestly what the [ __ ] is that how how is that needy dude how is it needy for me to say hey like I want to see you twice a week I know you're I know you're not busy how's that needy oh my God look at you you're demanding so much of my time then you're not ready to be one one then go find somebody else go date a [ __ ] guy somebody in prison how about that you'll be able to that's exactly what you want don't let people shame you into not saying what you want man so let's talk about why people are this way today there's this book called the fourth turning it talks about four different turnings that that crosses all of humanity and it's a now we're in the fourth turning and this is what it is currently according to Strauss and how we are in the fourth turning a a period of Crisis where institutions are dismantled and rebuilt and Society undergoes significant transformation trans this era often features uncertainty uphe and revolution of Norms values including those related to relationships and commitment so what people would tell you is that back then even 20 years ago dating was much easier women told you what you wanted men tell told you what you wanted people were more willing to be in relationship and people were having more sex right but this era is often um features uncertainty upheave of Revolution right now this is the The Crisis crisis era so people are completely going against the last Norms which is usually religion family um um um being independent what they're promoting is being individual children are a burden don't have commitment travel the world see the world don't buy a house do this be yourself solo travel be a boss [ __ ] you know you know go on monk mode all that kind of stuff all indivi individualistic and what it doesn't address is the emptiness that those things give you yeah in photo it seems great but it it's the void of purpose and this individualistic culture when you feel like you want to be more communal when when I have when I have family when I have a girlfriend when I have a boyfriend when I have a husband all that type of stuff can make you feel different and a lot of people then will be afraid to express that because it's just so different from the norm and then you see people getting gaslit by just expressing what they want and the book also says that there's generational archetypes right it describes four um Prophet Nomads Heroes and artists currently the young adults right Millennials gen Z people under 40 fall into the hero and artist archetype both heavily influenced by the societal instability of the fourth turning this instability can contribute to fear of commitment right they've been into a lot they've been through a lot of crisises the the 911 my birthday hey man I always tell people man it's not a bad day cuz was born that day I was born first why are we crying anyways um it's kind of funny how that day didn't didn't I swear to God it didn't traumatize me I had a lot of friends that woke up crying I'm like I'm like I just woke up pissed off that I didn't get my toy story short um toys cuz toyss was Clos you know but but but I remember though it was during that time when I got into Christianity so it did affect me and I got deep into spirituality after that that's yo that's true and then yeah it did affect me just not negatively um honestly that's why they say having a dark sense of humor allows you to to um to process trauma I remember when I got mugged I was scared I was scared of a group of three Mexican guys I was like I cannot see a group of three young Mexican guys I were cross the street like they were black in the hood like like Bob in the hood I'm like oh [ __ ] right but now I'm not scared of cuz I made jokes about it man when you laugh about things you get over with them so um this current generation fall into the hero and artist archetype both heavily influenced by Society instability of the fourth turning this instability can contribute to fear a commitment during the fourth turning there is a collective Retreat from individualism towards community and Collective action however the transition phase can be marked by uncertain certainty and fear impacting personal decisions including relationships so it seems like this this this might not last for too long right it seems like people are this is just a stage people people are starting to see The Emptiness of tender they're starting to see The Emptiness of just hookup culture that's a real fact right and so what will happen is that in the next few years people my job is going to get even better because people are just going to want to find more commitment are going to want to find more relationship are going to be want to be more married right and that's going to turn into people wanting commitment and hopefully you know it'll be a good thing for society because the more people are married the less crime there is the more marriage the less crime yes born as [ __ ] I get it but places with more single men have more crime less single men have less crime let's do that [ __ ] okay um anyways hopefully you guys enjoy this video if you guys want to work with me 101 go to mindfulattraction.org and I'll see you guys later to the mindful attraction University taught by Professor Alex where I teach you all of the strategies to improve your dating life and all of the courses that I have all in one place and you can get it at a highly discounted rate so that means you purchase all of my basic courses without the bundles usually at600 $600 you could purchase it now at $399 people not 400 $399 for psychological purposes yeah that's right oh my [ __ ] god he's showing as a scam yeah that's right yeah follow Al does that so that means you could get emotional Mastery the psychological game of Attraction the feminine woman natural chemistry Charisma blueprint and nice girl at a discount rate but then if you want to get the master's degree of the mindful attraction University taught by Professor Alex you can get the premium version where usually all of the courses cost cost one $1,200 now you can purchase them all at $7.99 or four payments of $200 you guys can also do like a payment plan feminine woman emotional Mastery the whole [ __ ] bang a bang with all of the bonuses at one lower price people and with that honestly this is the type of thing that I know that if you guys get it'll fix your dating in ways you guys cannot imagine Now My worry is that it is a lot of content like it is and I'm not a fan of giving people a lot of content because I don't want informational junkies but this is the best way to get it all at all in one price now look mind you it's no if you purchase the bundle it I'm just going to be honest there's no refunds purchasing the whole bundles if you guys think you guys are not going to like it I would prefer if you buy if you guys buy one course to see if you like it and if you don't like that course you could get your money back and don't purchase the bundle right but if you like like that course you guys can send me an email and say hey can I upgrade to the bundle pay the difference and there you guys could get it but it's just that like man you guys know my content I if you like if you like if you like one cork you like it all right so that's the only caveat but I know damn well if you if you purchase it your dating life will never be the same okay now for those who purchase the courses but want to add to the bundle you guys can message me and maybe we could come up with a price so that you guys can get it um wow being able to not have to pay all the Crazy Prices okay so now so just click on the description down below there you'll see um the ability to purchase the wifey bun the wifey basic package which is the the one that you see here for $3.99 without the bundles and without the bonuses but if you guys want to purchase it with the bonuses which is a lot of content and I afraid because it's a lot of content you guys can purchase it right here with either four payments of $200 or one time payment of $7.99 right and yeah this is and by the way I made this design you know father Alex is being inclusive here and stuff like that um anyways hopefully you guys enjoy this hopefully you guys can um support the channel by purchasing those courses and I'll see you guys inside bye-bye