By now I've coached thousands of people on storytelling, gave storytelling workshops to companies like Google, MetLife, Visa and many more. And I've also published the number one bestseller, The Story Selling Method. Now the stuff that you're about to...
has taken me years to figure out. To save you the time, I'm gonna compress everything that I know into 20 lessons. After this video, you'll know everything you ever need to know to tell insanely good stories. First lesson. Don't use the S-word.
A few weeks ago I was leading this storytelling workshop here in the Netherlands and at one point one of the participants he stood up and began with oh let me tell you a story okay right in the moment I interrupted whoa hold on there um can you start over but this time without the S-word confused he said what's the S-word I said it's story Can you start your story without saying, oh let me tell you a story? Now why should you avoid saying story? Because some people, certainly not everyone, but some people hear the word story and it triggers almost like this negative expectation. They may think, oh great, here it comes, a 15-minute fairy tale. Do we really have time for this?
Good thing is you can easily avoid that reaction. So instead of saying story say experience, case, example or event. For instance, if you're sharing a story in front of your friends you can say two weeks ago, I had this crazy, crazy experience and then launch into your story.
Or if you're sharing a story at work, you can say, let me quickly share an example to really show that point, okay? And then. launch into your story.
It's a subtle but very important shift. And with that clear, let's now look into the next lesson. Second lesson, start story strong or SSS. You have seven seconds to grab your audience's attention. If you spend those crucial seconds setting expectations or providing so much context, you know what happens.
Hmm. What should I eat for dinner tonight? Pizza or pasta? Wait, what is that guy even talking about?
You only have one chance to make this first impression. Make it count. Obviously, you don't have to do that unless you want to, which is also cool.
But let me now share three ways to start your story strong. First, jump into action. Jump into the scene where something is happening. Make the character do something. Talking, biking, stepping, reading.
Anything that brings in forward momentum. Example. stood in front of the manager's door, took a big breath, knocked three times, and slowly opened the door.
As I peeked inside, I saw my manager, the head of HR. Immediately I knew this wasn't good. Second, ask a question.
Ask a question that makes your audience reflect on their own experiences or feelings. It's a great way to make them think and connect with your story. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to just walk away from everything that you've ever known and start over?
Well, that's exactly what I did when I packed my suitcase and went to the airport. my back and moved across the entire country. And third, use a cliffhanger.
Start your story as close as possible to the most crucial part of the story. Show your listeners that this moment is going to be huge. But don't share everything yet. Example, I was standing in my room with a letter in my hand. I knew that was it.
I knew that this letter would change my life forever. But hey, let's wind up. back to when it started.
All of those three hooks work incredibly well. If you start your story strong, your audience will be with you in that story, fully present. Now, the hook is crucial, but I guess if the foundation is not great, you won't be able to keep their attention.
To have the right foundation, the next lesson is absolutely essential. Third lesson, master one story structure. Now, when I started on my storytelling journey, I had... had this moment that made me question how storytelling is taught. Back in 2020 I took this very expensive storytelling course here in the Netherlands.
There they taught the hero's journey, which is that beautiful 17-step story structure used in films like Star Wars or Lord of the Rings. I love that structure and I thought I'm gonna try this out at work. I'm sure the customer will love it. So next day I'm in a meeting with that customer launching into my breathtaking story. story, expecting the client to be blown away.
Well, that didn't exactly happen. Halfway into the story the customer started to look away and almost felt like he was uncomfortable with my story. After hearing my story he awkwardly ended the call and said oh thanks okay we'll be in touch alright. Left. I was confused.
I sat there and I thought, wait, what just went wrong? It wasn't until I called my sister that I realized the problem. She said, Philip, obviously, your stories are too big, too long. Hey, this is not a TED... talk.
This is a casual conversation. And there it hit me. The structure that they teach in most of the courses.
It's useful for these big stages, but it's completely useless for the stories we tell in front of our friends. or at work. Those casual stories should be one to two minutes long and in one to two minutes you don't have the time to cover 17 steps of the hero's journey.
You need something much simpler but still effective. That's when I developed a structure that changed my life and that will work for almost any of the stories that you will tell. It's called CART or CART and it's made up of four steps. Context, Adversity, Resolution and Take. away.
Think of your structure like this card in the supermarket that holds together all the awesome ingredients or elements of your story. Or I guess if you also want to remember it, just remember it rhymes on fart. Let's break it down. Step one, context.
First, set the scene for your story. Give your listeners some basic context. Where and when does the story take place? Who's the main character and what do they want? Example, it was October 2019. I was in Amsterdam.
rushing to the train station. I had to be there on time to catch the train for my job interview. The company that I've always dreamed about, they'd invited me for an interview. That's it.
Who, when, where, what, boom. Just a few sentences to establish the setting and then move into the most important part of the story as quickly as possible. Step two, adversity. Next, you wanna introduce the conflict or the challenge that that main character faces.
This is really the. part of the story. This is where things go wrong or where the tension builds.
Now the adversity can be anything. Difficult decision, another person, an emotional challenge, physical challenge, anything as long as it's substantial for that main character. As I reached the station, I realized I'd left my wallet at home. Panic set in and I thought, how am I going to pay for the train?
What if I miss my interview? I searched every single pocket, but I just couldn't find my wallet. And this.
is really the part where the tension builds up. Show what is at stake. Let us know how the character feels in that moment.
This step is usually the longest and most engaging part of the story. Step three, resolution. Now you want to describe how the character deals with that adversity.
What actions do they take? What decisions do they make? And crucially, how does the story resolve at the end? Example, just when I thought that I'd miss my train, I saw a woman who saw my panic approached me and offered me to buy my ticket. I couldn't believe it.
I made it to my interview just in time. Up to this point the story is an interesting story but your listeners don't really know why you're telling them that story. That's when you move into the last step. Step 4 take away.
Finally, tell your audience what you learned from that experience. What realization did you have? What is the point of going through all of that?
Example, what I learned from that experience is that unexpected help shows up when you need it the most. And I guess also to just double check my pockets the next time I leave my house. When you share that takeaway, avoid things like saying the moral of the story or you should take away.
Why? Because that can make you sound a little bit preachy. Instead frame it as something you learned.
It's a little bit softer, less preacherish. Okay, mastering this simple four-step structure, context, adversity, resolution, takeaway will give you your stories this really strong foundation. It's It's quick to learn, flexible enough to adapt to most situations, and it helps your story really to be clear, concise, and at the end engaging.
But hey, you can still tell a pretty average story by having a great structure. That's why the next lesson is absolutely crucial. Lesson number four, show, don't tell.
One of the golden rules in storytelling is to show, don't tell. So instead of directly telling your audience how the character feels, show how it looks, show the emotion. emotions, the actions, the environment, and bring your listeners into the story. It should feel as if the story story was happening to them. But not gonna lie, when I first heard show don't tell, I didn't really get it.
Back then I had no interest in writing a novel. It seemed that all of the advice out there was for writers. Now listening to thousands of oral stories, I realized that there are actually three techniques of show don't tell that are super simple but very very effective.
First technique, use dialogue. Dialogue is a powerful tool for showing rather than telling. So instead of saying what someone felt or thought, share the exact words of that moment.
Let their words, their interactions reveal that emotion. Example, before he was angry with me. After that moment, he snapped. Are you kidding me? You said you'd be here on time and now look!
Oh man, everything is ruined! Through this exchange you get a sense of that character's anger without explicitly saying it. Second technique, show through action. Actions speak louder than words. What a character does reveals much more about their feelings and intentions than simply stating them.
Use physical movements and behaviors to convey that emotion and tension. Example, before Before she was nervous. After she kept fidgeting with her ring, twisting it around her finger, taking it off, just looking at that clock every few seconds. Those actions convey the nervousness much more effectively than just saying, oh she was nervous. Third technique, show through metaphors.
Another great way to show rather than tell is through metaphors, analogies and comparisons. This can help convey the emotions in a much more engaging, much more creative way. Example, before the kids were excited.
After, the kids'excitement was like this wildfire spreading as they chattered and jumped with enthusiasm. That comparison helps the audience feel the energy in the room. By showing instead of telling, you allow your audience to experience the story firsthand as if it was happening to them.
The more you show, the more immersive your storytelling is going to be. But hey, that next lesson is actually a lesson I wish I had learned right when I started on this journey. Lesson number five, build a story bank. For my book, Public Speaking with Confidence, I asked the 2019 world champion of public speaking, Aaron Beverly.
Hey, Aaron. Aaron, how do you prepare for your speech? His response was simple, but blew my mind. He said, I have a story file where I know done anything that could be slightly more interesting.
Once I'm invited to give that speech, well, then I'll just review my entries and I'll look for a story that could potentially work with that audience. Sure, your ambition may not be to be the next world champion of public speaking, but I'd encourage you to do the same. Build a story bank. If you rely on your memory...
alone to remember those stories, your stories will start slipping away. That's exactly what happened to me before. I used to forget most of my stories. That all changed only about four years ago when I started my StoryBank. Now the StoryBank is this dedicated place where I record and categorize all of my stories.
Sure, it takes me a few minutes to document those stories, but the payoff is enormous. Today my StoryBank holds I think around 141 stories, still counting. Now the incredible thing is that I can use those stories for the rest of my life. They're there for me whenever I need them, whether I'm delivering a speech, engaging in a meeting, or just telling a story in front of friends.
So what should you capture in your story bank? Now, I try to keep it pretty simple and I focus on five things. First, a title, a short title that helps you remember the story.
Second, point, that's the core message or point that you want to convey. Third, a summary, just a few bullets to help you remember the story. Fourth, use case. So the situations in which that story could be useful. And then lastly, rating.
A rating of how much you enjoy telling that story or also how much your audience likes your story. Now, you might be wondering, look, where should I store all of these stories? Now, the answer is wherever works best for you. Are you?
I use Notion because I can then access it while traveling and I can update it from anywhere. But it doesn't really matter if you use Google Docs, Evernote, Notion or even a physical journey. But to make it even easier for you, I've created a template of my storybank, which I'll link in the description below.
That way you don't have to spend hours building a storybank from scratch. Now a storybank is like having a savings account for your stories. Each time you add a story, you're investing in your ability to tell more impactful stories.
The more stories you have in your story bank, the more you'll be prepared to inspire, connect, and entertain others. Now at first, that story bank might still be a little bit empty, but that's where the next lesson comes in super handy. Lesson number six, find magic in the mundane. When I started on my storytelling journey, I thought those great stories are big stories like the TED type of stories like the time I almost died climbing in Rio de Janeiro or the time I Met God while doing some while participating in some crazy ayahuasca ceremony in the Amazon now after studying some of the best Storytellers out there.
I realized that that actually wasn't the case In fact, it's often not recommended to tell these big stories No, why not because those stories are not relatable Storytelling is about building a connection. When you share the story about this extreme event, you're not building a connection. You're pushing the audience away.
It's too far to remove from everyday life. The best storytellers know this, and they focus instead on these smaller moments. But the difference is that they tell these small moments so skillfully that they almost appear as this extraordinary event. So how can you spot those small moments? moments.
There is an exercise called Homework for Life by Matthew Dix. Now, it is the only exercise I've been doing every single day for four years now. And if you take anything away from today, let it be this.
Here's how it works. At the end of each day, take a moment and ask yourself, if I had to tell a story from today, what would it be? You're not looking for something huge, just a small act of kindness, a funny conversation, or even that small thing that annoyed you.
Anything that touched your heart. And once you have that moment, write down the date and that story-worthy moment. For example, today was August 22, and my story-worthy moment was feeling proud after cooking curry for dinner. Now, just quick context, that was a huge moment for me because I haven't cooked in like 14 months. I usually just order or eat outside.
So I felt really like this grownup today. Well, anyway. Probably sharing a little bit too much information here. Probably thinking what a weirdo right now. Anyhow, what about you?
What was your story-worthy moment today? Let me know in the comments. Now, what's in it for you?
At first, your entries might not seem overly special. They may look something like, oh, I really enjoyed this peanut butter sandwich this morning, or I took the bus to work. But over time, you start to notice more and more of those story-worthy moments.
You'll realize that your life is actually Full of stories. You just got to spot them. If you stick to that exercise just for a few weeks, you'll soon have this suitcase of stories ready to share.
Because those small moments, that's where really the best stories are often hiding. But let's say you do this for a while. But how can you then actually start sharing these mini moments with the world?
Here's where the next lesson comes in. Lesson number seven, share tiny stories. Even though I knew how to tell stories, it took me quite a while to actually share them. I just couldn't figure out when and where to drop a story.
Most of the times, I only realized that hours and hours later. I was like, ah, Philipp, you're so stupid. You could have used the story in that moment.
Now, that only changed when I developed one simple habit. Instead of waiting for the perfect moment to tell this big story, I started telling these tiny stories in one specific situation. Whenever someone asks me, how are you?
Before, I'd give this usual boring answer. I'd say something like, oh, good, thanks. Or, oh, yeah, great, finally the sun is out. But after this change, I began sharing a tiny story instead. Example, if someone were to ask me today, how are you?
I'd respond like this, I'm good. Actually, today I feel like such a grown-up today. I cooked vegetable curry.
And I know, this sounds like nothing. But for me... It was huge.
I hadn't cooked in like 14 months. Usually I just order. Today, someone, I felt like it is time to be an adult. Anyway, what about you?
When was the last time that you tried something new and how was that for you? That's it. A tiny story that shares a little bit more about me as a person. So what kind of things can you actually say when someone asks you, how are you? Now, I try to respond with anything that is more engaging than, Weather or traffic?
That could be, maybe, has there been something interesting that has happened to you? Maybe have you picked up this new skill? ...that is interesting to share?
Or is there even this small thing that annoyed you but is still kind of funny to share? Now, you might be wondering, hey, isn't this super awkward to share something unsolicited? No one asked for that.
Absolutely, yeah. It's super weird at the beginning. But what I can tell you now, after using those stories hundreds and hundreds of times, it's absolutely worth it. Try it out.
Gather your own data points. Not only will you become this better storyteller, but you'll also spark more meaningful conversations with coworkers, friends, and even strangers. But hey, let's now move into the next lesson. That lesson, that is... That is a must have in any story.
Next lesson, build anticipation. Imagine you're super hungry and you just ordered a meal from your favorite restaurant. You can't wait for the food to arrive.
Every minute you check your phone, you just look for the delivery guy's only 10 minutes away. You sit there and you're like so excited. You're like, ooh, can't wait for the food to arrive.
When will it arrive? Now that sensation of... waiting, craving and desire. That is what dopamine creates.
You want to create that same sensation for your audience when telling your story. Well, not that you want your audience to think of food, you want them to be on the edges of their seats, dying to find out what happens next. So how do you build anticipation? First, sell your story. Before you go into your story, say a sentence to get your listeners excited about the story.
Something that immediately piques their interest and makes them want to hear the rest of the story. Example, just yesterday I had an experience that completely changed my outlook on life. Or two weeks ago I had the worst meeting of my life.
Second, drop mini cliffhangers. Now hooking them at the start. is good. But don't just hook them there. Try to insert these mini cliffhangers throughout your story.
Example, just when I thought that I had everything under control, my phone rang with a message that made my heart stop. As I walked down the alley, I heard some footsteps behind me. But when I turned around, no one was there. So try to include a few hooks throughout your entire story.
Now, what happens if you don't hook them? Well, you listeners... will then just look for other cheap sources of dopamine. Avoid that by including a few sentences that raise the anticipation.
Next lesson, bring your characters to life. Just last week, I watched Star Wars Episode 2 for I think the fifth time now. It's so freaking good.
Anyway, at one point, like pretty much every Star Wars, dozens of stormtroopers were killed. And for those of you who haven't watched Star Wars before, stormtroopers. the bad guys.
Now as I sat on my couch seeing all these bodies of the stormtroopers pile up, I noticed that I was feeling happy, relieved. I somehow didn't feel any sympathy whatsoever for the stormtroopers. Now why is that?
One reason could be that I'm a very troubled person, that yeah, I have a lot of problems. That could be one reason. But the more likely reason is that I don't know anything about the stormtroopers. They're these faceless, nameless creatures I don't know anything about.
For Star Wars, it makes sense because they don't want us to sympathize with the bad guys. But for our stories, oftentimes we don't share anything about the main character that makes our audience care. So how can you avoid that?
How can you bring your characters to life? First, describe the physical characteristics. You can describe the character's appearance like clothing, body type, or even gadgets. in any way that makes it more memorable.
Give the details that really stick to your audience's mind. Example, she had this bright infectious smile that just could light up any room. Also, her curly hair looked like she had just stepped out of this wind tunnel. Second, reveal their quirks and traits.
Now you can share the unique traits or habits that make your character stand out and feel real. Example, he had a habit that he couldn't start his day without making sure that every item on his desk was perfectly aligned and third share their dreams and fears show what drives the character and what they're afraid of now that adds depth and makes the audience empathize cheer for them example her biggest dream was to open this small bakery and really bring joy to her community but her fear of failing just capture from taking that plunge. When you bring your character to life, your audience will connect with them and care about their journey. So remember, don't be a stormtrooper. Let's now go to the next lesson.
That lesson is probably the one that is the easiest to make any story more interesting. Lesson number 10. Make it emotional. Quickly think about a childhood memory.
It can be any memory that pops to your mind. Maybe it was this birthday party, maybe it was a family holiday, or maybe it was this school performance. Now, how old were you at that time?
And also, what did you feel in that moment? Also, why do you think you remember that moment? I'll tell you why.
It's because of the emotions you felt in that moment. These can be pleasurable emotions like happy or excited, or painful emotions like fear and sadness. Now, compare that with how much you remember from a...
Let's say a meeting you had a week ago or of that encounter with a friend a week ago. You probably forgot 99% of what you talked about in that meeting. If you want to connect to your listeners and be remembered almost years and years down the line, you've got to tell a story that touches them emotionally.
So how can you infuse emotions into your story? There are two techniques that I love more than anything else. First technique, share the thoughts.
Let us know what the character is thinking in that crucial moment of the story. What are the hopes, the dreams, the fears, the plans that are going on in the character's mind? Example.
Before, I was beating myself up over gaining another 10 pounds. After, I thought, I'm useless. Why is it so hard for me to just eat like a normal person?
I don't even have the willpower to go one day without sugar. Second, show the emotions. Show the emotions rather than just telling the emotions. Show us what the emotion looks like on the body and on the face when experiencing that emotion.
Example, before I was stressed about the deadline. After, my chest felt tight thinking about that deadline. It was like this weight pressing me down, making it really hard to breathe. By sharing the thoughts and showing the emotions, your audience will find it much easier to visualize, feel, but also to Remember your story. Let me now share another lesson.
And I've seen some very average stories land incredibly well only because of that. Lesson number 11 Act out key moments. Now how do you use your voice, your body, your emotions to tell your story?
Well there are different styles in this one. Some use it very little. They rely 100% on their voice or on their story.
Others use them quite a lot. As you can probably see, I like to use my voice and my body to bring the story to life. I'm acting out parts of my story.
But hey, look, I'm not a professional actor and you're probably neither. But that doesn't mean that we cannot use some of their techniques to bring our stories to life. Now, there are three techniques that are pretty easy that you can try out in your next story. First technique, show in action. If you say, I bent down to pick up that orange, well actually, bend down, and pick up that orange and hold that imaginary orange in your hand.
Or if you say, well, I walked across the hall and opened the door. Well, then take a few steps, pretend to open that door and go inside. Show the action.
Don't just describe it. Second technique, show reactions. Now, in life, something happens, we react. Whether it's raising our voice when we get angry or laughing when we're happy or speaking very softly when we're sad, we react. But somehow when we tell our stories, we suppress those reactions to appear professional.
Don't do that. Show the reactions. Reel of the emotions.
If the moment was joyful, well let the joy come through in your expression and in your tone. If the moment was sad, well then don't be afraid to show that sadness. Show the reaction.
Third technique, impersonate a character. Now most stories involve more than one person. And dialogue, as you know, is a great way to make any story come alive. When you include a conversation in your story, try to impersonate the other character involved.
For example, if you're sharing a conversation you had with your mom, well then impersonate your mom while sharing the dialogue. Give your audience a sense of who she is. Mimic her tone of voice, her posture, her body language. Capture her personality. Example, in that moment, my mom said, Philip!
Why did you do that? You had one job and that was to take care of the dog. You couldn't even do that.
I know it may feel awkward at first to act out parts of your story, but trust me, doing so makes your story much more vivid, much more compelling. Try lesson number 12 break expectations. Imagine you lived on the countryside and every day you drive to work. Along the way you see a bunch of fields there, cows grazing, but you don't even recognize that you're just on autopilot.
But on this one day, same route, you look to the left and you're like, whoa! Oh, that's a pink cow! Crazy!
A pink cow! I've never seen a pink cow in my life! You arrive at work and you tell everyone about that pink cow. You'll remember that pink cow for the rest of your life.
This is the essence of breaking expectations. We as humans, we're great at spotting patterns. But as soon as we think that something is predictable, we tune out.
The moment your audience knows where the story is going, they'll start thinking about other stuff. They won't be there with you. What should I watch tonight? Modern Family, The Office.
To capture their attention and to keep it, you want to share something that your audience didn't see coming. That can be an unusual activity, an unusual event, or an unusual reaction. Anything that breaks that pattern of what is expected.
Let me give you an example. example of a story that has a few major moments of surprise. Now this story comes from clothing retailer Nordstrom and is used to show what the company really stands for.
In 1978 Craig Trounce was working as a store associate at the Nordstrom in Fairbanks, Alaska. And on this one day, Craig looked at the entrance and saw something super weird. There was this man rolling in a pair of tires into the store. I'm confused.
Craig went up to the guy and asked, excuse me, sir, can I help you? And the guy said, yeah, I wanted to return these tires. Craig said, sir, you know that we're a clothing retailer.
We don't sell any tires. It turned out that he had bought the tires from the previous tenant of that same building Now at first craig didn't know what to do with that guy. Should he just send that guy back? But then he decided to do what felt right.
He called the local tire agency to get an estimate of the value of the tires. He then took in the tires and gave a refund. He gave a refund for a product that Nordstrom didn't even have.
Now that's what it means to put the customer first. Did you notice which moment of the story went into a different direction than you'd expected? There was this one moment where this customer rolled a pair of tires into the store.
That's weird, right? We don't see that that often. The second moment was when Craig decided to give a refund for a product that they didn't even have. Also massively surprising. So try to incorporate a few unexpected elements, twists and resolutions to make your story unfunny.
unforgettable. Lesson number 13. Turn up the heat. Imagine watching Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?
Now at the beginning of the show, the stakes are still quite low. The contestant, well, they can earn a few hundred dollars, but that's it. But then as the show progresses, the stakes get much higher.
Each correct answer brings the contestant closer to that massive million dollar prize. But to make it even harder, the time to respond goes down to 15 seconds. At one point, the host has to answer the question, and the contestant has to answer the contestant what would they do with all the money the contestant responds and says i'm gonna buy my dad a house to take him off the street the audience now is dying to know if she'll secure this life-changing price and make her dream a reality now that is a prime example of raising the stakes raising the stakes means increasing what is at risk in your story share the big thing that the character can win or lose in that specific situation Raising the stakes is like turning up that heat in your story.
The higher the stakes, the more intense and more engaging your story becomes. So how do you raise the stakes in your story? There are three simple ways. First share the characters goals.
Share what your main character wants to achieve. What are their hopes, their dreams, their plans. But don't just share any shallow goals. Share emotional goals.
Share really what matters to that character. Example, I wanted to finish that marathon to prove to myself that I can do anything in life. That I don't need to play it low anymore. Second, show impact on others.
You can increase the stakes even more by showing how other people are affected by the hero's actions. And what will happen to them if that hero succeeds or also fails, right? Example, I gotta get this job.
If I don't get it, I won't have the money to send my daughter to- to college, she relies on me. And third, introduce time pressure. Now, you can make any story immediately more interesting. Add a deadline or a time limit to increase the urgency and to make it even juicier. Example, I had two hours to prepare this 30-slide presentation that would be presented to the board of directors.
Now, when you show what is at risk, your audience will care much more about the outcome and they will become invested in your characters and also in the journey that they're on. But let's now go into a lesson that took me quite some time to find out. That lesson can actually make or break any story.
Lesson number 14. Show the change. During my MBA at Columbia University, I had this one friend who was a wonderful storyteller. Every single time we went out, he shared a story.
A story about a time that he got super drunk, did something crazy or inappropriate. Man, I got so wasted that I passed out in the subway. It was legendary. Just a few days ago, I thought of him and I tried to remember some of his stories. To my surprise, I couldn't remember a single one of them.
At first, I couldn't understand why I didn't remember them because they were entertaining. But then I realized why. Because his stories didn't have any element of change.
He was like, oh, I was that person before, did this crazy stuff, and I was that same person after. No change, no transformation, no growth. Just...
the same old him. Change is the difference between a story that people forget and a story that sticks. To create a story that resonates, you need to show some sort of transformation. Think about it, in almost every movie or book you love, the main character undergoes some sort of change. They start out in one way and they end up completely different.
Take the movie Avatar for example. At the start, Jake Sully is this disabled marine who feels lost and wants meaning in life. But then he changes into this brave leader who loves and protects Pandora's nature. For your story, show some sort of change or transformation.
If for example, if you were out of shape, now you're running a marathon. If you hated your sister, now you're best friends. Or if you were terrified of public speaking, well now you love being on stage.
Show the change. But hey, so far we've only talked about the stuff to add to your story. But let's now go into a lesson that makes sure that whatever you say lands really well.
Lesson number 15. Keep it simple. For my book, The Storytelling Method, I wanted to understand what language do the best storytellers use. And for that, I analyzed 97 stories. Now, after listening to each one of the stories, I gave each story a score from 1 to 10. Now, 1 being, ah, this is a terrible story, to 10, huh.
I love this story. This is so good. After that, I transcribed each one of the stories and I put the transcript into a readability tool. And what I found, in my mind, the highest rate of stories could be understood by a fifth grader.
That is someone that is 11 or maybe 12 years old. Great stories don't try to be too fancy or too intellectual. They focus on connecting to their audience. The simpler your language, the easier it is for your audience to connect to your story. Short and clear sentences?
They stick. Complex and too flowery sentences? Not so much. So how can you simplify your stories? First, break down long sentences.
Instead of having this one gigantic sentence, use two or three shorter ones. Before, as I was walking down the street, feeling the brisk autumn air on my face, I couldn't help but contemplate about the time I spent in America, which was an unforgettable experience that truly shaped who I am today. After, as I walked down the street, I felt this cool air on my face.
It reminded me of my time in America. An experience that really changed me forever. Second, avoid jargon or fancy words. Now try to use everyday language.
Even if you use stories in business, don't use too complicated words. I know we're constantly trying to look and sound smarter than we really are, but don't do that in your story. Use everyday language. we need to synergize our methodologies to achieve optimal efficiency. we need to work together to get better results.
keep it conversational. Share your story as if you're talking to your best friend. It doesn't matter if you're sharing a story with one person or on a stage in front of hundreds of people.
Before, upon considering the extent of possibilities i came to the conclusion that the most efficacious route forward was to proceed Seat with caution after. After thinking about it, I realized that the best thing to do was to take it slow. If you want to check whether your story is simple enough, well, just copy the text that you've written on your story and put it into a free readability tool. I'll actually include the link to my favorite readability tool in the description below. Now, that software or that tool will tell you exactly what grade level your story is.
What I suggest, aim for a grade level that can be understood by... 5th grader, maybe 6th grader, maybe 7th grader, but not much more than that. Keep it simple.
And remember, simplicity, it's not about dumping down your story. It's about making sure that your message is clear and accessible to really everyone. Lesson number 16, uncover forgotten stories. When I first began my storytelling journey, I sat down and I tried to count how many stories I had.
After two hours, I came up with... Six stories for my entire life. And I was proud. I thought, wow, Philip, well done.
You're such a wonderful storyteller. Now I realize that that number could be much higher. If you're around, let's say 20 years old, you probably have hundreds of stories.
If you're in your 30s or 40s, you will have thousands of stories that you could potentially use. And no, you don't need to have the craziest life for that. The reason you might not see these stories yet is either because you've forgotten about them Or your memory doesn't save them as a story. We're about to change that. Think of yourself as an archaeologist.
But instead of digging out these dinosaur bones, we're digging here for past memories that could be turned into a story. The most effective way to uncover your hidden memories from the past is through a practice called stream of consciousness journaling. Now, how does it work? First, choose a problem.
Start by picking a prompt to help you spark your ideas and get your thoughts flowing. Prompts can be based on locations, themes like travel, sports, relationships, or specific experiences. Some examples could be the courageous leap. For example, these can be these moments when you face the major challenge and you overcommit. Or the special encounter.
These could be these brief encounters that you had with a stranger or an acquaintance. but that really left an impact on you. Or nature symphony, in which you reflect on a very memorable experience you had in nature, whether that was a challenging hike or a romantic day at the beach.
You know what? I'll actually include my top 10 prompts in the description below so that you can get started straight away. But for now, I would say just pick one of them.
Second, set a timer. To avoid feeling overwhelmed, start with a short timeframe. Set your timer for maybe like five minutes. That's about it.
You can then adjust that frame the more comfortable you feel with that exercise. Third, start writing. Once you've set the timer, begin writing down any memories that come to your mind.
Anything related to that prompt. Now the key here is to just keep writing. Don't stop, don't edit, don't second guess. Just keep writing.
Let your thoughts flow freely, even if they seem random, stupid, or all over the place. Stream of consciousness journaling is not about quality, but about quality. quantity. Don't worry if your ideas are all over the place or if you think that this is silly.
Just keep going. Four, identify potential stories. And when the timer is up, you then look to your sheet and you think, hmm, is there any memory or any story that stands out? Anything that is particularly interesting, entertaining or maybe emotional?
Well, that could be then the seed for your next story. By practicing stream of consciousness journaling just a few times, you will uncover more and more of those meaningful moments from your past. These could then become the stories that you tell in casual conversations, at work, or even on stage.
Trust me, you've got way more stories than you think. You just need to start digging. All right, on to the next lesson, which is I think already quite advanced lesson. Lesson number 17. Avoid generic language. Ever noticed how some stories just come alive while others just fall flat?
Now one secret to making your storytelling more vivid, more engaging, is to use specific descriptive words instead of those generic ones. Now imagine two scenarios. Scenario one, I was driving in my car down the highway. Now what does it really tell us?
Not much, right? You know that I drive a car and that I use the highway. That's it. You don't get a sense of who I am as a person, right? Scenario two, I was driving 120 miles per hour down the German Autobahn in my 10- Your Toyota Prius.
Now this tells you so much more. It gives you some indications that maybe I'm a risk taker, right? Driving so fast on the Autobahn shows you that I like the thrill or the adventure.
Or maybe also that I'm a little bit cheap, right? Driving this old Toyota Prius might indicate that maybe I don't have a lot of money. money or maybe I choose practicality over luxury. So it shows you much more about me as a character.
So how can you make your details pop? First, replace generic words. Generic.
I was at a party. Specific. I was at this Halloween party surrounded by superheroes and with this DJ blasting 80s hits. Second, add unique details to the character.
Generic. She was really smart. Specific.
She was the kind of person who could solve the Rubik's Cube in just under a minute and really explain quantum physics over coffee. Third, use metaphors. Generic.
She was strong. specific. That guy was strong as a bull, lifting those weights as if they were feathers. But when you replace that generic text through more specific details, make sure that your sentences are not much longer and that you actually use it strategically. Because if everything is just details, details, details, it can be overwhelming as well.
But yeah, if you just sprinkle a few of those details into your story. and will transform that story. So most of the lessons we focus on techniques to pretty much enhance your story. But there are a few lessons that will help you feel also excited to deliver those stories, to really tell these stories. Lesson 18. Memorize SME.
When you're telling a story, the last thing you want is to sound like this robot resigning lines by lines from memory. Now a story that is too rehearsed can often come off as too stiff. and unnatural.
But I guess at the same time you also don't want to stumble through your story, searching for the words, ah what I want to say here, getting lost, that's also not good, right? So how do you find the balance? Instead of memorizing your entire story word for word, focus on memorizing SME.
For those of you in business know we're not talking about small and medium-sized enterprises here, SME, we're talking about start, scenes, and end. First, memorize your start. Think of the best speeches or stories that you've ever heard.
They start with that bang. Whether it's an action, it's that question or that cliffhanger, they start with a bang. The start of your story is like that spotlight that grabs everyone's attention. It sets the tone, piques curiosity and gives your listeners a reason to keep paying attention. Now, as it's so crucial, I'd suggest to memorize the first few sentences.
in your story by heart. By knowing those opening lines really inside out, you can then launch into your story with full confidence. Second, memorize moments.
Now that we've got the opening down, let's now talk about the middle, the heart of your story. This is where memorizing every single word is not really necessary. Instead, what you want to do is memorize the key moments or scenes of your story. Think of the moments like the main building block. Those are the places where the action takes place, maybe the decisions that are made or the emotions that were felt.
Each moment is like a snapshot, a clear mental image of that place or that moment where something important takes place. For example, one moment could be that you're in front of your manager's door and you're knocking at the door. Another moment could be you're in the office and your manager telling you about this unexpected project. And then third moment could be you in the elevator crying.
By memorizing or visualizing those scenes, you'll naturally remember what happens in each part of the story. Three, memorize your end. I know, people usually don't really like to think about the end of their story.
They spend their entire time on the opening or the body. That's it, that's a missed opportunity. The end will be this last impression that people have of your story.
This is where you drive from your takeaway. This is where you give your audience something to reflect upon. That's why I'd suggest to memorize the end or closing of your story really also heart by heart because that's what people will remember.
So use SME. So start, moments and end to memorize your story. That way it will feel alive, natural and real. Alright, the next lesson. That one is a crazy, crazy hack.
I wish I discovered much earlier. Lesson number 19. Rehearse with a tutor. Practicing your stories a couple of times, two to three times, is usually enough to get comfortable. But once you feel comfortable, it's then important to share that story also with someone else to get feedback. At first, I asked my friends and family if they could listen to my stories.
This worked well for some times, but after asking my best friend for like, I think the seventh time, I started to feel a little bit awkward. I felt like... He'd probably do something else than listen to my stories every single week. So I started looking for a storytelling coach. But that's really when I hit the wall.
Good storytelling coaches, they're expensive, like really expensive. A decent one costs at least $200 an hour and excellent ones can charge thousands. But that's when I discovered something that completely transformed my storytelling journey.
I hired an English language tutor. But hold on there. There's a twist.
I didn't use that tutor for English lessons. I used them to practice storytelling. There are these language platforms like Preply or Italki where you can find private English tutors for as little as three dollars an hour. In these one-hour sessions, I then share two to three stories with that tutor and I ask them for feedback.
Now, it doesn't really matter that they're not professional storytelling coaches. It doesn't matter. They can still tell me. how they liked the story, whether they got bored somewhere, and how the story made them feel.
After then sharing a few stories, I use that remaining time to improvise a few stories on the spot. Now this is really a crazy hack that has helped me make the biggest leap as a storyteller. Alright, are you ready for the last lesson of this video?
Can I get a drumroll please? Last lesson, commit... to a big goal.
I owe much of my success to a simple mantra. Commit now, figure it out later. Let me share how I discovered this approach. In November 2021, I had this crazy idea. I wanted to try out to do stand-up comedy.
Back then, I'd never read a book on comedy or had never taken any course. But I didn't let that stop me. I searched for open mic nights here in Amsterdam, found one, and signed up to be a comedian.
Just to be clear, I knew nothing about comedy. But I thought, I'll figure it out. Fast forward three weeks. I'm standing in front of 180 people delivering my first ever stand-up comedy routine. It was hands down the most difficult moment, most terrifying moment of my entire life.
My legs were just shaking uncontrollably the entire time. I wish I could say that. I absolutely crushed it. But no, that just wouldn't be true. I wasn't terrible, but...
Definitely wasn't amazing either. But actually that didn't matter. What really mattered is how much I learned.
Those three weeks of preparation taught me more about comedy than in a year of passive learning. The key is this. The biggest growth happens when you go after something that seems far beyond your current abilities. Now what I did in comedy, you can do with storytelling. Now most major cities today have storytelling open mic nights.
In the US, The Moth and Risk are two of the most well-known storytelling open mic nights. Go to their website, submit an application to tell a story, and then figure out the rest later. Or I guess if there aren't any storytelling nights in your city, well ask your manager, your boss, if you can share a story in your next team meeting.
Or if that is not an option, ask a friend or a family member if you can tell a story at the next celebration. Yes! It will feel terrifying and yes, you might not be ready, but the minute you commit to that date, you'll do whatever it takes to nail the story and to mostly avoid that embarrassing situation.
And even if you messed up, well that by itself would be a wonderful learning and also a great story that you can tell in the future. That's it. Those are my 20 lessons from five years of storytelling. Actually, let me know in the comments which lesson was your favorite. Today we went deep into storytelling.
But when you speak in front of friends, when you give a presentation or oftentimes when you record a video, there are also a few other public speaking techniques that you need to master. And for that, you may want to check out this next video, which I'll give you some of my favorite public speaking techniques. Enjoy.