younger me if I could sit you down right now I'd tell you something that would change everything but I know you wouldn't believe me not yet because right now you think you have time you think life is a straight road that stretches endlessly ahead you think success happiness and meaning are things waiting for you in the future just a little further down the path but let me tell you something the road isn't endless one day sooner than you think think you'll wake up and realize you're not chasing a future anymore you're standing in it and when that day comes the things you thought would make you happy won't matter as much the things you feared losing won't feel so important and the biggest question you'll face won't be about what's ahead but about who you are younger me I've brought some people with me today the great minds who understood what most people never do Carl Yung the man who uncovered The Hidden Abraham maslo who redefined what it means to succeed Victor Frankle who proved that meaning is not given it is chosen saurin kard who taught us that fear is not the enemy but the door to Freedom Carl Rogers who showed us that the life we're living might not be the one we were meant for and Alfred Adler who believed that we are not prisoners of our past but the authors of our future they have something to tell you younger me something that will make all the difference because midlife is not a crisis it's an Awakening and your real life the one that's yours and yours alone that hasn't even begun younger me you have spent your whole life trying to be the right kind of person the kind who fits in the kind who's respected the kind who makes people proud and for years you've convinced yourself that this is who you really are that this version of you the one the world sees uh is the only one that exist with but I need you to listen carefully now because Carl Young is here to tell you the truth that you are not just the person you show the world you are also everything you have hidden away the doubts the anger the secret Ambitions you were too afraid to chase the sadness you swallowed and told yourself wasn't real these things didn't disappear they became your Shadow and as long as you refuse to see it it will control you Jung spent his life studying why people lose themselves and he found that most of us are living as half a person we wear masks we play roles we become whatever we need to be to feel safe and for a while younger me it works but then something happens a crack appears the mask begins to slip you start to realize that the life you built isn't enough not because it was bad but because it was incomplete midlife is when the shadow comes calling and it does not ask for permission it forces you to look at yourself not the version you carefully constructed but the person you really are and that younger me is terrifying because to accept yourself fully means facing the parts of you that you don't like so what happens if you don't what if you ignore the Shadow and pretend it isn't there that's when it begins to rule you from the dark it twists your desires into addictions it turns your unspoken fears into anger at the world it makes you resent others for the very things you refuse to see in yourself this is why so many people in midlife feel lost bitter or Restless they are fighting an enemy that is inside them but here's the secret Yung wanted you to know the shadow is not your enemy it is your missing heart and if you have the courage to turn toward it instead of running away you will find that everything you've been looking for was hidden there all along so how do you integrate it it begins with honesty stop filtering your thoughts to be acceptable notice what triggers you in others because those are often the parts of yourself you have buried write down the things you avoid thinking about face them question them understand them and slowly you will start to feel whole Yung once said the most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely but it is also the most liberating because the moment you stop fighting yourself you realize you were never broken you were simply unfinished and now at last you have the chance to become [Music] whole younger me do you remember the first time you tasted success it's the rush the validation as the feeling that finally you were somebody you thought that was the gold um to prove yourself to achieve more to build a life that looked good from the outside but let me introduce you to Abraham maslo he would tell you that you were chasing a dream that was never really yours maslo spent his life studying what truly makes people fulfilled and he discovered something most of the world doesn't understand the people who feel the deepest sense of purpose aren't the ones who achieved the most they are the ones who became the most are you've spent years climbing chasing promotions seeking approval building a reputation and and for a long time younger me that felt like enough but I have to warn you one day you will wake up and all of it will feel strangely Hollow not because you've done something wrong but because you're being called to something more maso's hierarchy of neat explains it all in the beginning we seek security stability belonging we work to build something solid beneath us and that's good it's necessary but there comes a moment when the foundation is built and a new question arises now what that moment younger me is the beginning of self-actualization it's when the things that once drove you lose their meaning and you realize that success is not about what you have it's about who you are to but what does that actually look like it's different for everyone for some it means leaving behind a career that no longer aligns with their values for others it means embracing creativity connection or personal growth over external rewards it's about shifting from seeking achievement to seeking meaning but here's what maslo never said outright most people never make it to self-actualization they get stuck in the earlier stages trapped by Comfort fear or routine how do you know if that's happening to you ask yourself this are you still chasing success or are you living in a way that feels truly fulfilling if your answer is the former it's time to rethink everything this is why so many people in their 40s feel lost not because they've done something wrong but because they're being being called to something more to stop proving and start becoming to stop chasing and start choosing and here's the great irony younger me the moment you stop obsessing over success is the moment you finally find it not in money not in status but in the quiet certainty that you are at last living the life that was meant for you [Music] younger me you've spent years believing that happiness is something you can catch if you work hard enough earn enough love the right person live in the right place then finally you will have arrived and for a while it felt like you were getting closer but something inside you never quite settled no matter how much you achieved there was always that quiet nagging voice Whispering is this it let me introduce you to Victor Frankle he was a man who endured the unimaginable he survived the Nazi concentration camps stripped of everything his family his career his freedom and yet in the middle of that horror he made a discovery that would change the way we understand The Human Experience happiness younger me is not something you chase who told it is something that emerges when you live with meaning Frankle watched as some people in the camps despite their suffering help held on to something that kept them going a purpose a reason to wake up the next day and he realized that the ones who survived weren't necessarily the strongest but the ones who had found something worth surviving for you younger me have spent so much time pursuing happiness but you've been looking in the wrong place the job the recognition the things you own none of it will ever be enough what because happiness isn't something you get it is something you allow when your life is aligned with a deeper sense of purpose but uh what does that mean for you right now how do you create meaning when you feel stuck in a life that doesn't seem to have one Frankle found that meaning comes in three ways through work through love and through suffering first meaning through work not just a job but a calling doing something that serves a purpose greater than yourself it doesn't have to be grand it can be raising a child building a community creating something that outlives you it is about contribution but second meaning through love not romantic love the kind of love that makes life Rich deep friendships kindness shared experiences the people who make you feel seen if you have no one in your life who truly knows you younger me you are not living yet and third meaning through suffering this is the hardest to understand but it is the most powerful when when pain enters your life and it will you have a choice you can let it break you or you can use it to transform some of the most purpose-driven people in the world turned their greatest suffering into their greatest Mission survivors who became healers those who were lost who now help others find their way Frankle himself said when we are no longer able to change a situation we are challenged to change ourselves younger me if you ever feel like life has lost its meaning look at these three things what are you creating who are you loving what suffering are you transforming answer those and you will never feel lost again younger me I know how much you fear change to how you overthink hesitate weigh every possibility before you make a move how you cling to The Familiar telling yourself that one day when you're ready you'll take the risk make the leap but you never feel ready do you saurin kard knew exactly what that fear was he called it the dizziness of Freedom that terrifying moment when you realize that your life is completely in your hands no script no guarantees just you standing at the edge of the unknown Paralyzed by what might happen if you jump but kard also knew something else that fear is not the enemy it is the threshold and and the only way to step into the life you were meant to live is to embrace it uh younger me I need you to hear this you will never feel ready and if you wait until you do you will wait forever now uh but that doesn't mean every fear should be ignored so how do you know when it's time to take the leap kard believed that there is a difference between fear that signals danger and fear that signals growth the first is Instinct if a fire is burning you don't walk into it but the second kind of fear is different it appears when you stand on the edge of something new something that calls to you even if it terrifies you that is the fear you must walk towards think about the things you have always wanted to do but never dared and that job you secretly dream about that place you long to live in that part of yourself you keep hidden because you're afraid of what people will think the only thing standing between you and that life is the fear of the unknown KAG guard's leap of faith was not just about taking risk it was about trusting something that cannot be proven for some that means faith in God for others it means faith in themselves but at its core the leap is about choosing to believe that the life you are meant for is on the other side of fear even if you have no evidence yet one day younger me you will reach a point where staying the same is more painful than changing you will stand at the edge of something new heart pounding stomach twisting wondering if you can really do do this and I need you to remember this moment the moment when you finally understand that fear is not a sign to stop it is a sign that you are on the verge of something extraordinary so how do you take the leap first recognize when you are facing a moment of transformation if a decision excites you and terrifies you in equal measure pay attention that is a clue second don't wait for certainty it will never come start before you feel ready and third remind yourself that the greatest mistake you can make is doing nothing kard warned to DARE is to lose one's footing momentarily not to DARE is to lose oneself the leap will always feel impossible until the moment you take it um and then younger me you will realize you D you were always meant to fly younger me you've spent your life trying to be the version of yourself that makes other people comfortable you've played the role said the right things worn the right mask and for a while you convinced yourself that this was who you really were but let me ask you something when was the last time you felt truly free Carl Rogers spent his career studying what makes a life real and he discovered something most people never realize the further you stray from your authentic self the more lost you become uh younger me I have to ask you something on uncomfortable if you Stripped Away the expectations the pressure the fear who would you be I know the answer terrifies you because for years you have built a life that looks right but doesn't feel right you followed a path that made sense on paper but deep down something isn't clicking you keep waiting for it to thinking that maybe if you just work harder achieve more prove yourself enough you'll finally feel whole but you won't because the problem isn't that you haven't done enough the problem is that you aren't being yourself Rogers called this congruence when the person you are on the inside finally matches the life you live on the outside and younger me here's the truth that is the only way you will ever feel free but what if you don't know who you really are what if you've spent so long being what others expect that you've lost touch with yourself Rogers had an answer for that too the first step is to stop censoring yourself pay attention to the moments when you adjust your words your tone your opinions just to fit in ask yourself if I wasn't afraid of judgment what would I say the second step is to notice what excites you the things that pull at you even if they don't make sense that is your real self trying to get your attention and third practice radical self-acceptance Rogers believed that true growth begins when you stop trying to fix yourself and start understanding that you were never broken in the first place one day younger me you will reach a point where pretending is exhausting we're saying yes to things you don't want showing up in places you don't belong and living a life that doesn't fit becomes unbearable and when that day comes I hope you remember what Rogers said the good life is a process not a destination and that process begins the moment you stop pretending younger me the biggest lie you've ever believed is that your past defines you that the mistakes you made the things you regret the people who told you who you were that all of it has carved a path you can't escape Alfred Adler would tell you otherwise he spent his life studying why people stay trapped in cycles of unhappiness and he found that it's not because of what has happened to them it's because of the story they tell themselves about it younger me if you believe you are a failure you will act like one this if you believe you are unworthy you will settle for less than you deserve if you believe you are destined to be stuck you will never move forward but what if just what if that story isn't true Adler knew that at any moment a person can rewrite their narrative you are not the victim of your past you are not defined by your mistakes you are not bound by the limits of Who You Used To Be You are right now exactly as free as you decide to be but I know what you're thinking it's not that simple what if your past is full of real pain real failure what if changing your story feels like lying to yourself Adler's answer was this your past is a fact but the meaning you give it is your choice yes bad things happen yes you made mistake but do they Define you only if you decide they do the past is just a set of events the only thing that gives them power over you is the story you attach to them so how do you change that story first challenge it as write down the beliefs you have about yourself I always fail I'm not good enough I'll never be happy and ask yourself is this objectively true or is it just something I've repeated to myself for so long that I believe it second look for proof of the opposite find even one moment where you succeeded where you were strong where you overcame third start acting as if your new story is already true if you believed you were capable how would you behave if you believed you were worthy what would you say yes toight what would you finally walk away from to now one day younger me you will realize that your past is just a place of reference not residence that the pen has always been been in your hand and the moment you decide to write a different story why you is the moment your life truly begins so here we are younger me you spent years thinking midlife was something to fear that turning 40 meant time was running out but now you know the truth this is not the end this is the beginning Jung taught you that you are not broken only unfinished maslo showed you that success is not about what you have it's about who you become Frankle proved that meaning is not given it is chosen kard reminded you that fear is not a sign to stop is a sign to jump Rogers showed you that the moment you stop pretending you start living and Adler handed you the pen and told you to rewrite your story younger me you are no longer chasing a life you're stepping into it and you younger me are finally ready