Hello and welcome back to Dreamgirl. If you're new here, I'm Sheen, I'm your host and today we have a very special guest. I'm sure you've seen her unless you live under a rock. Please join me in welcoming Liz.
Hello Liz. Hi. How are you?
I'm good, how are you? Good. You know every time I want to say wizard Liz because that's just how I know you.
I feel like people, they also say like lizard Liz. Lizard the Wizard. That's very cool.
Is that where the name came from? How did you come up with that? No, the Wizard Liz was actually like, I used to work in a restaurant as a student. And I remember like I was put behind the bar because my boss was like, let's put the pretty girl behind it. At first I was really not good at my job.
But so I was like, I was working there and then we had a client that came. And... He asked like for a drink and I said, oh, you should try this one.
And he said like, well, I would get anything that you sell me because you're so magical. Like your aura is magical. And then I told him like, well, then I must be a wizard, you know, and I was like joking about that.
And that never left my mind. So I was like, you know, when I was doing social media, the wizard Liz. Okay.
Well, I'm glad we found out the story behind the name. But okay. Listen, for me, I've been following you since you started. I remember the first time I watched your video and it went viral. And as I was telling you beforehand, because I have so many friends who are in the YouTube world.
And I remember them saying, you know, we spend so much time making sure the audio quality is great. The visuals are great. The thumbnail is great. And this girl came in and blew everyone out with the algorithm.
And everybody just loved you. And I think it's also because of how... Um...
raw it is it almost feels like you're telling me off when i'm watching the video i think everyone needs therapy but i think they need therapy after my videos you're helping but but i put up on my story asking people what would they want to hear from you right and today we're going to cover a few things from you know the relationship with yourself your relationship with your friends um with men or women in in a romantic way but to start with tell me what was for you a pivotal moment in your life that pushed you to start this whole career? So a pivotal moment. So basically, my childhood was very bad. Okay. Like, I think everyone already knows this, that I was physically abused by my father.
And I saw my mother get abused. So it was like a very, very traumatic childhood. And it's funny, like when my father decided to cheat on my mother, that was like the hat.
happiest day of me and my siblings. We were like that monsters leaving our house. We were so happy. But it's ironic that when your abuser leaves the house and you finally have that freedom that you always craved, that you start abusing yourself.
Because that's when I developed bulimia, anorexia. And these are all like forms of self-abuse, you know. And when I looked at my siblings and at myself, I saw how we all...
handled everything differently because the issue is not the abuse it's the aftermath right it's how we feel afterwards because now we have to realize that we allowed ourselves to get treated like that and that this went on for so many years and it's very hurtful to realize that and then you go from all of that which you've ever known the abuse to okay what do we do now so who are we now actually Because we don't know who we are without it. You know, we weren't allowed to explore ourselves. So I feel like my life started when my father cheated on my mother. It finally started.
And then that was the first moment in my life that I could look at myself and be like, OK, Liz, what do we do now? And for me, my biggest thing in life was always, let me just make money. Let me get rich.
Because I can like... At least I cannot heal my family, but I would be able to like afford a band-aid to put on top of like the wounds that my father created. And I kind of felt responsible for the hurt that my family had been through.
I don't know why, but I felt responsible. So my whole life I was like, okay, how do I make money? How do I make money? And the more like I was struggling also with my ED and bulimia.
And when you're struggling with all these things, all your energy is going towards that. And that's why I tell people that are, for example, trying to lose weight. Let's say, yeah, I had this conversation today, actually, with like a woman in a store. It was like, she's like, I love your body.
Like, are you on a diet? Like what's happening? And I was like, you know, the moment that I stopped wanting to lose weight is when I lost it. And I couldn't, I like now whatever I eat, I cannot gain it anymore, which is actually opposite issue.
That's great. Yeah. But she, I told her like, because I was in the same mindset of like putting all my energy, I couldn't even create anything.
Right. So I couldn't create business or anything because all my energy was going towards food. I wake up, I think about food. I go to bed, I think about food. Because you know why I even feel like I got the eating disorder?
Because when you have a whole childhood where you never felt in control, that eating disorder made me feel in control of something. I can control what I eat or what I don't eat. And somehow I felt proud of myself, right? But it was never about like the way I looked because it was never...
skinny enough. Honestly, I think it's a form of like slowly taking your own life. I call it, you know? So when I, when I removed the energy from the eating disorders and I was like, you know what? Cause this went on for two years, like severe depression after my father left.
Then I was like, okay, let's change things. How can I actually change? Because I was so tired of blaming everyone or my circumstances. And I was like, Liz, you need to start looking at yourself.
Because the reason why my life was like that was because of me and no one else. I was abusing myself. And it's like, I don't have anyone to blame. Look, the thing is like, yeah, I had an abusive childhood.
But what do I do next? Do I continue being a victim or do I take my power back? Because the more energy I put into hating my father means the more powerful he becomes.
And I want that power. I want to create. You know what I mean? So I was like, it's time for me to... pull all the energy back to myself and the only way you do that is by taking responsibility for your life blame gives your power away and responsibility gives it to yourself oh my goodness that was so powerful again i felt like i was just watching a youtube video i was i forgot i forgot i had to ask you questions i was like wow i get so passionate when i talk i love it okay okay one thing i want to tell you is your energy is infectious right and i think you know that but i get to experience it in person And it's beautiful, as you said, that, you know, despite all the terrible things that happened to you, which you didn't have a hand to play in, but you've turned that into something beautiful.
And now you're helping everyone else around you. And that's incredible. And you've built such a beautiful life for yourself.
So you should be very proud of yourself. Thank you. What I'm trying to say.
I really appreciate that. But also now, what would you say is any misconception that people still hold about you, given what they see online? I think they see.
a woman and they think like, oh, she's a narcissist. That's what I hear often. Or she's very toxic. Her mindset is very toxic.
And it's like, I think people, they don't know, they don't understand what narcissism actually is. And an actual narcissist wouldn't act like a narcissist. They act like the nicest person. That's why women stay in relationships with narcissists for so long. Right.
Because they don't understand what's going on. A narcissist is not someone that comes on here and says, I am amazing. I am mesmerizing. No, that's just all like, that's too outward.
The narcissists are more closeted and very manipulative in the way they act, you know. And I feel like once people see me, for example, and I post, let's say a TikTok yesterday, I post, I always get what I want. The reason why I post this is because I want people to look at the TikTok and read it in their head for themselves.
But I know what it looks like to others. But at the same time, I think it's a good thing that people even blame me or be like, she's a narcissist. She's too full of herself.
I think it was a good impact because I think there's people watching me and thinking, you know what? She's so full of herself and the way she talks. If she can talk like that about herself, maybe I can love myself a little. They become so comfortable because I make them uncomfortable in the way that I speak.
you know what I mean yeah because they see this as the extreme it's like extreme yeah but somehow it make it can make them confident because like she can be that extreme maybe I can be like a little bit of that like a 10% of what she's saying you know what I mean no but I love what you said about narcissistic people right and I think that's again something that a lot of people always ask me about I have also experienced it but it's crazy how however smart you are however emotionally intelligent you are as a woman especially how you get stuck in that situation and what advice do you have for people to even start to recognize that this is a toxic situation and this person might be narcissistic so i've dealt with narcissists in my life fair share um First thing is a woman, especially, or whoever, needs to listen to their intuition. I feel like women have such strong intuition. It's almost like our body and our soul knows that something is wrong before it actually happens. For example, me. I see dreams about a person that I'm not meant to be with.
I see dreams about like leave or I see visions like leave. And I don't listen because I think like I'm crazy. I'm crazy.
But then until something happens. where I'm like, ooh, but I knew that. But I literally knew that years ago.
I could have prevented this, but I didn't listen to myself, right? So intuition is very, very important. You're not supposed to feel drained around a person. You're not, even a friend, you're not supposed to sit with a friend and then come home and be like, oh my God, like I feel so bad because a negative energy exchange has just happened, right?
Second thing is look at their actions and not at their words. And I keep telling people this. So. I actually had this thing with like a place that I always go to for lunch. Okay.
And there's like two waitresses that work there and I absolutely love them. Okay. So they were telling me that the place is closing down and a new owner is now taking over. And their previous owner hasn't like given them a new contract, nothing.
So they are losing out on two months of money. Like salary. So then.
What I did was I gave them that two months of salary. Wow. And then they were like, and then they told me like, I was asking them because I want to help them with their job. And then they were telling me like, no, but you know, he's not a bad guy, Liz. Like our boss is not a bad guy.
Like he's really like, he says it in such a way. And I said, uh-uh. What did he do?
He doesn't care about you guys. I care about them. He's yapping.
Yeah, I care about them. And they're not, they're not working for me. So it's like, he should care about you guys. You take care of the people that you work for or that are in your life.
This is not normal. So I'm like, don't listen to what he's saying. Look at what he's doing.
And so many women, because we get so sensitive and we love to hear things. No, look at the way he's treating you. If he's abusive, but tomorrow he tells you he loves you, he's abusive.
He doesn't love you. Someone that loves you wouldn't abuse you, you know? And I think like once you start to just look at people for who they are, you know, when people become mesmerizing, when you put your energy into them.
So right now, if I look at you, I find you amazing. OK, I find you mesmerizing, but it's because we are exchanging our energy right now. But what if, like, for example, I had this actually with a previous relationship of mine.
Tell me. So I would think like. Look, I've never been the person to go for looks. So I don't care, okay?
The way you look, I never really cared. I care more about intelligence and the way you are. But the more the relationship developed, I almost had like rose colored glasses on. And I found that, whoa, this person can manifest so well. Whoa, this person has become so successful, all these things.
And I was like, oh, this person is amazing. And even I thought like, oh, because of him, I'm... I must be amazing. I started giving him all the credit, right?
The minute I broke up with him and I was like, you know what? I'm done. And I called all my energy back to me.
And I was like, this is going to end. I saw him again and I was shocked. I was like, there is no way I was with this person.
No, I literally saw him for the way he actually looked. And it's like, my friends had been telling me, Liz, there's no way. Because he was not a good person either, you know? That's the main problem.
But I was like, my energy made him. so magical to me and the same way like all the things that I thought like he's so successful he's so good at manifesting it stopped when I removed my energy so a lot of people are dating people and they put them on a pedestal but it's all because of your energy they're like a lot of women for example men become more good-looking more successful because they're with that woman and then the woman starts to think like oh he's too good for me oh he's the uh-uh honey that's your energy realize it you know no you know i actually had the exact same conversation with a friend of mine where i was telling her that i'm missing this guy who used to be in my life and she was like but think about it when you say he was funny it was you who was actually funny all the things that you think you miss about him was just you being part of his life that made him funny like that or make him interesting make him uh as you said dress better or have more intellectual interest and you're like that's so true like it is because of us together but without me he doesn't have all the things that I think he does. Yeah.
So it's crazy that a lot of us you know this is what i love about women talking to each other as well right because i feel like we're all so different and so unique by the same time we have such similar life experiences we do which is crazy i can't like the way you were describing this whole scenario especially that moment of clarity when you immediately switch it once that clarity hits there's no going back the ick will remain you're like there's no way like seeing your Ex-partner, the way your friends saw him, I never want to see that again. The disappointment you feel. I was like, there's no way. You're like, wait, who was it?
Who liked this guy? I was like, there must have been magic on me. There's no way.
It wasn't me. It wasn't me. That was on me.
It wasn't me. I was under a spell. It's okay.
But okay, now going back to a little bit around the same topic. So another question we got a lot of is now that we're on the topic of men and dating. Is, you know, nowadays, I don't know if it's the way society is evolving or the changes in gender roles and traditional roles.
But now you see a lot of women are very successful, right? Women are becoming more and more independent and very financially independent and therefore successful. And you get these women, these what you would term like high value, which I don't really like, high value women are the ones struggling to find a partner. Why do you think that is? I think because a lot of men are insecure.
And a lot of men take their value from being successful. So when you take that away and you have a woman that is more successful than you, that becomes a competition for them, you know. And I think that's actually sad because I think people don't teach men to, like, for example, be more in touch with their emotions, develop other skills than just making money, because then they can also get their value from those things.
But right now, because they put men on such a... a pedestal for so long. And they just poured into young men and whatever.
And women were just the housemakers, right? Because they made that such a big thing. Now you're sitting with all these men. Yeah, they just know, okay, I'll get my value if I'm successful.
If I'm successful, I'm a good man. No, like look at your morals. Who are you as a person? Get to know yourself better.
And that's how you build that confidence. A confident man will not get intimidated by a successful woman. never ever ever but there's just not enough confident men no and even you know when you look at masculinity so that's one question we got for you actually from my audience which was you know there's kind of like a rise in like soft masculinity you know where i don't know you must have seen all of these funny reels where you know it's like men want the princess treatment now they they don't want to be the first one to text they don't want to be the one to pay the whole 50 50 situation that is coming up but do you think that is also causing an issue with men understanding their role and their position in society now. I think men have always gotten the princess treatment. Always.
I think there has never been another time. The amount of standards men have for women is insane. But the minute you have a woman that says, like, hey, provide, take care of me.
It's like, no, you're a gold digger. How dare you say that? But how many men would date an unattractive woman? Exactly.
They wouldn't. They just simply wouldn't. OK, because they have that standard.
If you're unattractive, I don't want to date you. But once a woman has a standard and it's like if you're a broke guy and with broke guys, I don't mean men that are poor. No, I mean men that don't know how to create abundance.
And that's a big, big issue. See, for example, for me, a broke man, how I classify it is like my dad. My dad refused to work. He doesn't want to work. He doesn't want to figure out how to work.
He made my mom work her whole life and she was taking care of him. Okay. He didn't respect himself and he didn't respect my mother. It was just not in balance at all.
And my mom had to be hyper masculine to make up for the lack of masculine energy in the house. Right. Now, when you have that, a person that doesn't know how to be abundant, that's a broke guy.
Okay. It doesn't matter how much money he makes as long as he's trying. That's an abundant man because a lot of people they especially women they think like oh, I just need a rich man I've dated a very wealthy guy probably the wealthiest guy I've ever dated. He was not generous at all Brokey.
Yeah, so that's a broke man. Yeah, what do I have with you? You're showing me every day how much money you're making But what do I have with it?
What do I care how much money you make, you know, so it's like That's like just the difference. Like when a man doesn't know how to be abundant, that's the big issue. So men wanting the princess, I think they always had that, right? So it's like they always had a standard for women.
They always had like, you have to behave like this and blah, blah. And even like before when women were supposed to be housemakers, there were so many standards. You're supposed to cook. You're supposed to clean. You're supposed to take care of the kids and look good on top of that.
And if you don't, I'm going to cheat on you. And if you do, I'm going to cheat on you. So it's like women had to accept that. But then you had women, for example, that have a platform like me that came on and were like, stop accepting it.
We don't want it. Let's have standards. You know, let's have standards as a collective.
And because of that, yeah, you have what you have right now, which is very successful women because they started believing in themselves instead of a man. And chasing what they want and being who they want to be instead of chasing a man. And like. taking their value from being with a man, because that's also a huge issue that women are facing.
You know, they think like, oh my God, if I'm not married by this age, or if I don't have children, then I failed as a woman. But who said that? Society, your parents, your culture, who said that? Who set that standard for women?
Who said that if a woman has her period, she's dirty? She that like that's dirty. Who said all these things?
If men could get their period and could get pregnant. we would not be able to meet their standards. They would have standards through the roof. Like anything that even is like tampons, all these things, it would be free.
It would be free. Yeah, free. And they would have made like medicine or something to solve like cramps. To help them. Massage tools at work.
Yeah, days off. Days off. paid. Yes. No, for sure.
Women would not be able to meet their standards. No, no. And that's the thing.
I'm so glad you touched on this because this, this has come up many times in conversations with my guests on the podcast. And even with my friends, I keep seeing this because now that women are getting in their mid thirties and late thirties, they're starting to worry. And all of these friends that I have, or even guests that I've met, one of them even said on the podcast that, you know, I feel like. I have the villa that I always wanted, I have my cars, I have my six-figure business, and I sit in my house alone. And now I'm thinking, did I go wrong?
Should I have focused on finding a husband? Should I have focused on having kids younger? Because that's when you are at your peak on the sexual market value, if you want to call it that. And now she's like, now what do I do? And now I see this kind of like, I don't know how to explain it other than passive depression that is rampant around.
Well, you see all these successful women who at the end of the day come home to like a quiet apartment and they are sad and they feel like they went wrong somewhere. What would you say to these people? I think that the grass is always greener on the other side.
I know that there's a lot of married women that wish they could come home to an empty house. I swear, like they have glamorized having children and marriage so much and people don't see the behind the scenes. They always like show you the pretty picture, but all the work that is behind the scenes, all the arguments, all the compromises, all the things that cheating that happens.
And then you have to think, oh my God, do I want to stay married? Because I don't want to lose face in front of other people. So I just stay married with a cheating husband and I just look nice in front of everyone. And then someone looks at them and think, oh, I wish I had that. No, you don't.
You don't know what's going on in someone's house behind closed doors. You know, my parents, like everyone that knew them. They were taught like, oh, father's a great guy, such an amazing man, such a religious man, they would say, you know.
Behind closed doors, that was literally the devil himself, you know. You never know what is going on. So I would say never glamorize something. If I think right now about having children and a husband, that's a huge responsibility. Huge.
I rather right now in this position of my life have my business, make my own money and be independent. And whoever comes into my life, they can add to it. But I'm not thinking like, let me right now start a family because I know that will take so much of my time and energy into the family, you know, if I want to raise it in a way that I would want, which is with full attention and everything. So it all depends on like, do you really want that? Or do you want to create a perfect picture for society?
Because we have to really go back to the beliefs that we have. Because why do we have that? Because it's also, it's not only women, it's the same with men, right? If you don't get married as a man, oh, you're not a man.
You're not a father. Oh my God, you're already late 30s, you're not a father. It's like, why push things upon people?
Some people don't want that. That's okay. Some people do.
Then yeah, you find a way, you date around, you see, does this match with me? But don't do it because you feel like you're losing time. Because I feel like everything in life comes at the right time, at divine timing, when it's meant for you. When something is not meant for you, it will not happen, no matter what you do.
When something is meant for you, no one can take that from you ever. It will come. In like in the most miraculous ways it will come.
So just let it go. Women need to start letting stuff go. Tell me how Liz. No, that is the biggest thing.
Look, right before, this was actually a month ago. Like one and a half months ago. I was so obsessed with the outcome.
I became very masculine because I like, I didn't have like anyone supporting me. So I was like, I felt like I was completely alone. Okay.
So I was like. oh my God, I need to have this. I need to have this.
Like I need to figure something out. And I was going crazy. So I was like focused so much on my career and I was just, I was literally losing it. Okay.
And then I went back home because mentally I was not doing well. So I went back home to my mom and, uh, I went home. And then the second day I arrived, I went to walk in nature.
And I always tell people go walk in nature because nature is healing. Right. Um, The trees, the plants, all these things, these are living beings.
I even tell people like put your back or your hands against a tree. It will remove any energy that's not serving you because that's how we work with each other. But people don't know these things or they don't want to try these things. So they don't get like really further in life.
Anyway, so I went and I walked in nature and I started talking to God. And I always used to do this thing a lot, like, especially in the beginning of my career, like talking to God and having conversations, like he's my best friend. Oh my God, I see the same thing, you know, we're going to talk about, yeah, keep going. Sorry. So then I was like, I was walking in nature and I started talking to him and I said, um, God, like, uh, I can't take this anymore.
Like, not like this. I'm like, I want to do what I have to do on this earth and complete my mission, but not like this, not on my own. And I feel very bad.
And I said, like, uh, I don't want to live anymore. And that was really my mental state. Like, I don't want to be here anymore, but I'm not going to do it myself. So you do it. Okay.
You handle it. You please take my life. So I was like, I said that. And then all of a sudden, whilst I was walking, I heard like, wanting nothing gives you everything.
I heard that sentence in my head. And then I kept walking and I started repeating it out loud. I was like, wanting nothing gives you everything.
And then I understood, wanting nothing gives you everything. I was too. focused on I need to have this I need to have found I need to have work I need to have this I need to be bigger and bigger and I was too focused on them so what I realized was if I just let go of I don't want anything anymore like you handle it here give it to God you handle it you know when I did that everything I've ever wanted came and it came so fast like these past one and a half months my life has changed 360. I've probably never been happier than I am right now.
Yeah, which is crazy. But it was the minute I just let it go. I was like, I don't care anymore. And you know, this is you can see it, for example.
And you know why this is also the thing. When you let something go, you take your power back, you take your energy from that thing back. Now, when you are too focused on things, for example, let's say you're obsessing over an ex.
Okay. The minute you stop wanting that ex, All of a sudden he texts you. All of a sudden he calls you. He's now obsessed with you.
He comes back. Why? You took your energy back. The minute you take back your energy from all these things and you are now whole by yourself, those things become attracted to you. And they want to be with you instead of you wanting to be with them.
Because nothing likes desperation. Desperation is a repulsive energy. When you are desperate, you have a lack mindset.
You don't believe that this earth is abundant. And this earth is very abundant. God gave us everything. This is another thing that people always tell me like, oh, how dare you?
You're asking for too much. Oh, why do you want these things? Blah, blah. But there's billionaires on this earth. Like multiple billionaires.
Why can I not have even 10% of what they have? What does it matter? Money is an abundant source as well.
Money gives you freedom. That's the only reason why I ever wanted money, for freedom. Because I can go where I want. I can do what I want. I can help people in a way that I want, right?
So if that is on earth, why can I not have it? If God made this earth so abundant, anything that is on this earth I can have and I will get. Whenever I think to myself, okay, I want that, but I just want it and I don't focus on it like in a desperate way. But I know I have a goal in the back of my mind, but I'm not desperate for it, right?
That's when it comes. Oh, wow. Okay, I love that. Also, you know what you said about what is meant for you cannot miss you. And if it's not meant for you, however hard you try, you can't get it.
I remember I go by this thing that I saw some time ago, and it's really hard to remind myself of it. But I try, you know, when they tell you that God will never say no to you. God only has three answers. Either it's yes, not now, or I have something better. So it's kind of like remembering that whatever you're not getting in life is because that's not the right thing.
And again, it's a very freeing thought, right? It's like there's a bigger picture. There's divine intervention.
There's no need to worry. Whatever is meant for you will find you. But I like what you talked about in terms of letting go.
And I think overthinking is a huge thing that our generation does. We carry it with us everywhere. We keep trying to plan everything. And I think we didn't even learn from COVID how.
overnight we were all in our houses nobody planned that everyone's life turned upside down and I think we still try to overthink and that overthinking kind of like takes away the joy of the present takes away the joy of you being grateful and I think gratitude is also something we don't practice a lot of but now that we're on this topic I want to ask you I feel like all of this the overthinking the overanalyzing holding on to things comes a lot of times from a place of lack of confidence of self-love because people don't really understand the difference between self-love and being selfish. We always assume that we should not take up space. We should not talk about ourselves, about our successes. So what like magical tip do you have for people in terms of how to build that confidence muscle?
So basically, like I wanted to touch on the thing where you said like they call self-love selfish. Yeah, exactly. So In terms of that, if you look at the way children have been raised, it's always care for others, do things for others, then you're a good person.
No one ever tells you to take care of yourself, look after yourself. Oh, you can tell yourself you're beautiful. Who tells you that? No one tells you that because then you're vain, then you're selfish, right? Now, if you look at it in a broader picture, who does this benefit?
The people in power. It benefits them that you don't believe in yourself, right? Because if we have all these people that believe in themselves, how can you control them? You cannot control people.
If I was, let's say, a person in power, and I was like a bad person, or I thought like, I just want to control people, I would make them fear everything. I would tell them like, if you do anything, you'll go straight to hell. I would tell that.
I would tell them like, care for others. If you care about yourself, oh, you're a bad person. I would tell these things. These are very smart and manipulative things.
But you also have to realize it's manipulative, you know? A lot of people also raise their children to not believe in themselves. They don't even realize they do it, but they do it.
Because they tell like, oh, if you did something for your sister, oh, then you're a good boy, good girl, you did a good job. If you did something for your classmate or friend, then you're a good person. If you did something for yourself, no one applauds you for that.
No one says like, oh, wow. So that's when the confidence you build it by applauding yourself for yourself. Looking yourself in the mirror and say, wow, oh my God, you got that new job? Oh, you're amazing. Oh my God, you're such a goddess.
Talk to yourself that way. Because it's so easy for everyone to talk about their friends like that, to talk about the people that we love, but then we neglect ourselves the most, which you are supposed to love yourself the most. Because when you love yourself, you are love and you create love around you. A person that doesn't love themselves doesn't go out and is happy with everyone else.
That just doesn't happen, you know? So misery creates more misery. So you have to take care first of like, okay, how do I feel?
How do I want to feel? How can I do that? And I think a big thing with confidence is as well, like create skills, become good at something because a lot of people, they don't know how to do anything.
They don't want to learn anything. And they're just blaming like, oh, I'm just insecure. If you're just insecure, create something.
Then you can be confident about something. And then that translates to your inner confidence. And the same way people say like, oh, yeah, but I'm just ugly.
Look at ways to become more beautiful. No, but you can change yourself, no? But a lot of times they say like, oh, you should also just accept yourself. I don't feel like that's most the case.
If I just accepted myself, I would still be in my bedroom with my mom sitting there crying. If I just accept myself. No, I had to change things. And you have to be honest with yourself. Sometimes you are...
the devil that you're trying to blame because everyone wants to say oh my life is bad because of this there must have been some magic in my life that someone did no honey how are you acting how who are you allowing around you because that is also a big thing for confidence because it's like you have bad friends you have like a bad partner that you're constantly allowing to abuse you to talk down on you you're abusing yourself and you have to be honest with yourself once you set that boundary of like you're not going to treat me like that and you actually walk away Watch how your confidence will skyrocket. Because you made that decision to walk away. When someone tells you like, no, you shouldn't be saying anything. Like, for example, I grew up with like my father saying, a woman should never speak.
A woman should never have a voice. I feel my most confident now when I speak. Because I made that decision that my voice needs to be heard, right? And that's the thing to be proud of. So create things for yourself that you can be proud of.
Even helping someone out. Like giving them something. That's something to be proud of.
You did something good and then applaud yourself for it. You studied, you had a great test or whatever result that you had. Amazing.
Be proud of yourself. You know, don't wait for other people to sit there and clap for you. Clap for yourself first. I love that.
And, you know, I agree with you. I think it's the worst advice we can give to people is just be who you are. Because I think we can be a better version of who we are. And that's just the starting point. And who we are is, as you said, beautifully is a result of what we grew up with, what we absorbed growing up, the society, everything.
And we need to shed these weights. They're dead weight. We need to shed them so we can become truly who we are meant to be.
And also, I just want to touch on, you talked about self-love and how if we don't love ourselves, we can't love people around us, which is so true because... You know, even in the ads in the airplanes where they show you that you need to put your mask first and then help people around. Because what's the point if you just help everyone around and then that's it, you're gone. That's not how it works.
And again, you've touched on that super, super nicely. But another thing I want to ask you, you know, so this is a term I don't like as well, which is called imposter syndrome. You know, a lot of people blame whatever they feel or the fact that they're not trying new things, not stepping out of their comfort zone on.
feeling like an imposter and that they don't belong and they can't do it. What do you think about that? You know, I think in life, you just have to do things and then it becomes.
So it's like this glass right here, someone imagined it and then they created it, right? So if you imagine yourself as a version that you want to be and you start acting like it, that's when it comes into the physical realm. But it all starts here.
So no matter... And who you are right now is who you are telling yourself that you are. It's who your parents told you that you are. It's who society told you how you have to act and how you have to be. So who you are or like just be who you are, it doesn't make sense because who are we at the end of the day?
I think we are just all souls on earth and we don't know how to behave as humans. We're just waiting to return back home. But we're here like, okay, what is this, guys?
You know? But it's nice. Then I see life as a video game.
I see life as like, okay, I can be whoever I want to be because it doesn't matter at the end of the day. I will never be who I fully am because it will always be constructed by things around me or people around me because that's how we just are. We're a soul, not a human, okay?
We're just here experiencing life on earth. So once you accept that and you think like, what does feel most comfortable for me? Who would I like to be? Who would I be happy if I was this person? Then you start acting like it.
You start acting like that person. How would they act? How would they dress?
What would they accept? What would they not accept? What are their daily habits? And once you do something long enough, it becomes your life, right?
You do it something over. If you're used to like going to gym every morning you wake up, you'll have a fit body because you're just always at the gym. And it's not like a practice that you always do, right?
So. You just start to, you cannot be an imposter when you understand that everything starts in your mind first. That's just how life is. Even diseases that we have, physical diseases that we create start first in the mind. A lot of people, they get like crazy illnesses because trauma is stuck.
A lot of stress and all these things, but these are emotions. It's all emotions before it comes into the physical. So once you understand that, how can you be an imposter? Because it just, it starts here, you know. It's everything.
You know, they say the same thing about being delusional. They say, oh no, you should not be delusional. We're delusional every single day.
Every day we're delusional. We wake up thinking we will not die. No one is waking up today, I'm going to die.
Today I will die. No, no one. Everyone believes that they will live on until it's your time, of course.
You know what I mean? So you can be delusional every day in life, but not about the thing that you want. That's like too far, right? No, like once you understand this mind creates your whole, whole life, whole life. Once you change the mind and once you change the things that you think or you set a goal for yourself in like, this is the person that I want to be.
This is who I want to show up as in this human body. Yeah, because it's like a game. Then that's who you become.
That's who you become. That's how people will treat you. That's how your surroundings will change. That's how you will enter rooms that before you couldn't enter. Because now you're just unlocking a new character of yourself.
It's fun. Oh my God, yeah, it's like a new level. Yeah, it's like a new level.
Oh, I like that analogy. But okay, you also touched on this. And before I forget, because your brain is moving so fast and I'm trying to keep up. I was like, it's too fast. Every time you say something, I make a mental note.
I want to ask her this. And then we've reached 10 later. But you know, you talked about how even your surroundings, right?
And the people around you make a big difference. There's this whole saying that you are the average of the five people you spend most time with. But one thing I have experienced, and I'm sure you have given how how quickly your life changed as well, is that a lot of people, you outgrow friends, especially who were there in very good times. And I've been very surprised to see the, how some friendships evolved and some of them stayed very true with me throughout, but some people who were there in the trenches kind of like rooting for me, hoping it will happen.
But then when it happens, they're not that happy about it and they don't celebrate your wins. How do you deal with that? Well, you know, it's very logical that that happens because you're uncomfortable now.
They don't want to be around you. It becomes uncomfortable because now it's like you were in the same position as them once, right? And you made it out. So now that means these people have to look at themselves and only can blame themselves.
Now they cannot blame society. They cannot blame the place they grew up in or whatever. They cannot blame outside forces because you did it.
So it's like, oh, so I... could do it too, but I didn't. And that eats away at them.
And then jealousy gets created. You know, I think jealousy is a good emotion. Why? Because it shows you what you want.
If someone is jealous of me, they just want what I have or what they think I have, right? What the glamorized version of that is. But that's good.
So now you have a goal. Take that jealousy, transmute that jealous energy into creating that. Because I'm not sitting here telling I'm better than you.
I'm sitting here. You can do the same thing. You know, I posted something yesterday on my TikTok. And it said like, it was like, I get anything I want, you know, like an affirmation. And someone commented like, yeah, because you're a millionaire.
And I'm like, but I came from nothing, though. I was a millionaire. A few years ago, I came from nothing.
And I took care of my family's financial situation. I built everyone. And I made, even because I like became successful.
My family believes in themselves now. And they think like, oh, we can do whatever we want because Liz did it. Right? So it's like, don't look at my success and be like, oh, but you're here now. Three years ago, I was just like you, girl.
Just like you, literally. So it's like, yeah, it's the same thing. Like, take that jealousy and start to look at, okay, how can I actually get what they want?
If you're jealous of beauty, if you're jealous of whatever, that's just what you want. It's an indicator for what you want. Because it's not about that person. It's everything in life, what we experience is about ourselves.
We're thinking from our perspective always. So anything, even someone says to you, it's like a projection of how they feel, right? It's not about you.
So when you realize like, you know what, it's not really about me, but I hope you get what you want. If someone is jealous of me, I send them like love and I say, I hope you get there because that's what you want, right? Otherwise, why are you jealous?
I'm not jealous of, what's it called? the people that climb the mountains because I don't want to climb that mountain but I bet there's some people jealous that someone climbed that mountain yeah that's what they want it's good once you take that energy instead of making it something negative transmute it people create the biggest art when they're sad when they're angry when they're jealous they create crazy art music everything like uh art pieces they create everything out of it do it do the same thing Oh, yeah, definitely. I think the main message is be inspired.
Yeah. Instead of like being jealous, right? See it as a possibility.
Yeah, but don't demonize the emotion. No. Because everyone, this is the issue with jealousy. People think I'm jealous.
I'm a bad person now. You're not. You just want what they want.
Then, okay, figure out how can I get there? If your friends were in the same situation and you could get there, they can get there too. 100%. They can get there too. But just have to think, okay, how can I do what she did?
You know? No, absolutely. But you know what I like about you, Liz, is how you are so disconnected from whatever is petty.
You know, you're just you've risen above and you're just like, this is I get the human nature behind it. I see where it comes from. You are very good at recognizing what matters and what doesn't. And you're good at choosing your battles.
How did you get to that level of being like, you know what, I'm not going to sweat the small stuff. You know, thank you, by the way. And then also, I feel like ever since I was young, I had that quality.
So I didn't have time to be a child. I had to grow up very fast. So I was like an adult since I was young.
I was like a mother to my mother. Okay. So because of that, whenever I would like speak or anything, my mom used to call me like a lawyer. She's like, you defend anyone.
You see their perspective from any person you see a perspective. Okay. Which is not always a good thing, but I do. I understand why someone did what they did.
I can get into their shoes and I can almost feel what they felt when they did that. Do I accept certain behaviors even though I understand? No, I can understand that what you did was wrong. But you also have to understand that I will put my boundary here and be like, you won't do that to me ever again. Right?
So that's how I operate. I'm like, I can understand. I can have empathy with you.
I can feel bad for you and think like, I'm happy I'm not in your position. I'm happy I don't wake up a hater. I'm happy that I think God, the biggest curse he gave was that making someone a hater. Like imagine waking up thinking about how many people you hate or thinking about let's make him miserable, her miserable.
That's sad. So I'm like, thank God that I'm not that person. But I can have empathy for you. But doesn't mean that you have to be in my life, though. Doesn't mean that I have to.
And I feel like giving them attention or feeding into it or let's say reacting to these things. puts them in my life, in my reality. But it's like, you don't exist in my world if I don't let you exist in it.
And that's it. I have that power. So I don't let you exist if I don't like you.
You know what I mean? Absolutely. Boundaries, right?
Yeah. Very important. Very important.
But I mean, I could speak to you for hours, but we're running out of time. I could speak to you for hours. Thank you. So what would you say is a parting message or any advice that you would want to give to anyone listening to you today? I would say like...
really start believing in yourself and start believing in God. I think to believe in God is to believe in yourself. I think we don't ask God for enough things and we don't ask for big enough things. You have to ask for the small stuff and the big stuff.
And I feel like once you have, like lately, I've been even closer to God. And I feel like the closer you are to God, the higher your vibration raises. And that's how also the negative things and the lower vibrational things cannot affect you.
Because you're not on that vibe, you know what I mean? So I think believe in yourself, believe that anything you want can happen and will happen. No matter how long it takes, it will happen. It just will and you have to have that belief. But don't become obsessed with it.
Don't become obsessed. You know, when people become obsessed with certain things, that's when they start to lose the connection to themselves. When you become obsessed with money, you become obsessed with fame, you become obsessed with relationships, you start to lose yourself.
Always keep that connection with yourself. And I think one of the truest way of keeping that connection with yourself is keeping a connection with God. I love that.
Thank you so much, Liz, for being here today. Thank you so much for having me. No, this was incredible. And I wish you only the best.
And I can't wait to see how many more leaps and bounds you take online and with everything you do. Thank you for helping all of us. And thank you for this therapy session.
Thank you so much for having me. I really appreciate you. Of course.