marriage and uh it's funny when you're talking about the qualities and the people fall in love uh before they've even spent any time with each other and when we speak to people often I find my friends who are married and I ask them what are they looking for in their spouse and even the other way you almost get like a prototype answer I'd like someone who's practicing but not too practicing you know they've got to be a good person they you know got to be earning well Etc and you end up with this kind of very vanilla list of what they want um what would you say if you could say of all the questions three top questions that a person should ask their potential spouse or the family should ask when considering marriage I think Bismillah one of the most important things is when you ask a question directly to the person you want to get married to they may deceive you if they want to marry you sometimes and a lot of the times people don't realize that it's so easy to say yeah I pray five times a day and then you get married to them and they don't pray oh I read lots of Quran and they don't even know how to read the Quran it has happened so it's easy to say ask the questions but you have to know from someone who knows them that's what we and that's why the prophet sallam speaks about knowing a person either by having lived with them in fact who mentions uh in a specific way about knowing someone either by living with them traveling with them or doing business with them uh obviously when it comes to who you're going to get married to you would have to either communicate with people who know that person so say for example there is a potential spouse for a daughter of mine I would need to contact or get hold of some of the crowd that this guy mixes with just to find out without having asked him specifically because you're going to ask someone do you smoke he says no I don't and then when you marry him he smokes and then he tells you well I thought you were asking me about cigarettes I just smoke weed and that's happening it's happening right now and there are people who say well what's wrong with weed the whole world does weed it's a fact this is what's going on it's it's not the way so as much as we have a list of things it's not wrong to have a list of things to check but how you're going to check that is what's of essence so I've also told people you have a list are you a person whom someone who takes your list would actually be interested in that's a very interesting one because I've had sometimes brothers and sisters say I need a spouse like this this some of them are prohibitive which means it's very difficult to find a person like that the first question I say for argument's sake we found the guy we brought him here when he looks at you do you think he'd be interested in you I mean you want the Yusuf alaihi Salaam you know you've got to also be someone who's somewhere you know up the lines there man so It's Tricky but I think it's important to check out character when when they're upset when they're angered a little bit how do they react that says a lot about a person you know when when things don't go their way how do they react that to me will will tell you a lot about a person similarly the issue of responsibility are they responsible is this person responsible responsible meaning religiously obviously to begin with responsibility with their prayer with Allah a few other matters you know trustworthiness comes into the issue of responsibility as well and uh and thereafter you know you look at broader character because the Deen has been included you know responsibility like I said it would include as a Muslim to be a person who prays to be a person who's got a connection with Allah who's got conscious who knows what to do and when to do it and how much of it to do Allah make it easy as much as we have access to millions of more people than our parents did and our grandparents did for some strange reason it is a million times more difficult to get married nowadays agreed guys subhanallah yeah there goes