Successful Leadership and Personal Development Lecture Notes 📖🎓

Acknowledgments

• Mentors and Teachers: Peter Drucker, Richard Beckhard, Paul Hersey, Frances Hesselham, and others.
• Family: Litt, Kelly, and Brian for support.
• Professional Partners and Collaborators: Mark Ryder, Ellen Archer, Bob Miller, etc.
• Institutions: Alliant International University, Marshall Goldsmith School of Management.
• Clients: Over a million, striving to improve and already very successful.

Section 1: The Trouble with Success

Chapter 1: You Are Here

• Success may prevent further success, as seen in examples like Carlos, Sharon, and Martin.
• Carlos: CEO stopping progress with indecisiveness (adding too much value).
• Sharon: Editor playing favorites, leading to a demotivated team.
• Martin: Financial consultant with an excessive need to be 'me'; failed to listen to client's needs.
• Key: Self-awareness and understanding how one's behavior impacts others.

Chapter 2: Enough About You, Let’s Talk About Me

• Author’s background in executive coaching, specific challenges, and initial steps in working with clients.
• Focus: Practical behavioral changes rather than deep-seated psychological issues.

Chapter 3: The Success Delusion

• Successful people are often delusional about their capabilities and contributions:
  • Belief 1: “I have succeeded” – inflated self-assessment.
  • Belief 2: “I can succeed” – overconfidence causing disorder.
  • Belief 3: “I will succeed” – boundless optimism, risking overcommitment.
  • Belief 4: “I choose to succeed” – strong self-determination and risk of being overly committed.

Section 2: 20 Habits Holding You Back

Key Habits to Break:

1. Winning Too Much: Over competitiveness harms relationships.
2. Adding Too Much Value: Over-improving colleagues' ideas reduces their commitment.
3. Passing Judgment: Discouraging colleague input by constantly judging them.
4. Making Destructive Comments: Sarcasm and negative remarks that add no value.
5. Starting With ‘No,’ ‘But,’ or ‘However’: Blocking others' ideas and discouraging innovation.
6. Telling the World How Smart We Are: Diminishing others by showing off.
7. Speaking When Angry: Damaging relationships and team morale.
8. Negativity: Pessimism discourages others and stifles productivity.
9. Withholding Information: Creating mistrust and damaging team collaboration.
10. Failing to Give Proper Recognition: Demotivating team by not acknowledging their efforts. … and other habits such as clinging to the past, playing favorites, not listening, failing to express gratitude, etc.

Section 3: How We Can Change for the Better

Steps to Effective Change

1. Feedback: Solicit 360-degree feedback from colleagues.
2. Apologizing: Recognize past mistakes and commit to change.
3. Advertising Intentions: Continuously communicate efforts to change.
4. Listening: Active listening to others without judgment.
5. Expressing Gratitude: Regularly thank and appreciate colleagues.
6. Following Up: Ongoing engagement and asking for month-over-month feedback.
7. Feed-forward: Ask for advice on future behaviors instead of focusing on past mistakes.

Enhanced Strategies

• Client Selection: Working with individuals who are committed to change.
• Identifying Real Issues: Ensure the problem isn’t technical or outside the scope of behavior change.
• Picking the Right Change: Prioritize significant issues over minor or less impactful ones.
• Measuring Progress: Quantify progress and celebrate milestones.
• Monetary Incentives: Use financial rewards to encourage adherence to change.

Special Topics for Leaders

Memo to Staff: How to Handle Me

• Importance of self-awareness for bosses and giving clear instructions to teams on how to interact.

Managing Dependency

• Balancing openness and availability to ensure teams are self-sufficient while still feeling supported.

Avoiding Prejudice

• Adapting to free agent dynamics and understanding that employee motivation can vary widely.

Coaching Decisions

• Knowing when and how to coach different types of employees and recognizing irredeemable cases.

Final Thoughts (Coda)

• Importance of personal reflection and self-improvement from a future perfect perspective.
• Happiness now, cherishing friends and family, and following dreams are crucial.

Conclusion

• Understanding personal and team dynamics is critical for ongoing success.
• Continuous self-improvement and leveraging feedback loops are vital.
• Leaders must adapt to changing circumstances and employee needs for enduring success.

Recommended Action

• Identify one key behavior to change and practice asking for feed-forward.
• Regularly solicit, listen, and respond to feedback while expressing gratitude.
• Prioritize meaningful changes that have the highest impact on your personal and professional growth.

Practice: Develop strategies to handle how others perceive and interact with you as a leader. Ensure your efforts toward change are communicated clearly and persistently.