How to tell your husband you want a divorce. Hey guys, my name is Danny and I'm your life and relationship coach. Today I wanted to talk about how to tell your husband you want a divorce.
First and foremost, let me take a minute to tell you how sorry I am that you are in this situation. I know how incredibly difficult this can be, but this is not uncommon and you are not alone in this situation. Even though it may feel like what you are going through, you are going through it alone. There are a multitude of different people who have been through the same thing and are currently going through the same thing.
And I am here to tell you that it will be okay. There is hope and there is even a possibility that you can rekindle your relationship. if it is something that you are open to. Now it is very possible that you may have reached the end of your rope and you feel like I'm done, I don't want to be in this relationship anymore and you are just trying to find tips on how to have that conversation with your husband.
Whatever the case may be you have come to the right place, you have clicked on the right video and I wanted to get right into some of the ways or the tips in order to tell your husband that you want a divorce. First and foremost, you want to make sure you have no regrets. We see this time and time and time again where couples get so frustrated with each other and there is a breakdown in the marriage, a breakdown in the relationship, and they automatically jump to, I want a divorce. And what ends up happening is a year down the line, a couple of years down the line, they regret their decision and they want to get back with their ex. This happens all the time.
And I'm not here to scare you. I'm just here to be completely transparent. The rate of success after a divorce becomes less and less the more and more you get married. So for example, 42 to 45% of first marriages end in divorce, whereas 60% of second marriages end in divorce.
And that number increases the more and more you get married. So Again, I am not here to scare you. I am not here to tell you that the decision that you are making is wrong. I just want you to understand and see all the different angles before you make the decision, because this is a huge decision. This is a life altering decision.
And I know that you know that, and I know that it is something that I'm sure you have taken in consideration and it weighs heavily on your mind. But for me, the most important thing is that you do not have any regrets because the last thing that you want to do is have to live. with the decision that you made and not be content or happy with that decision. If you feel like you have done everything possible to make this marriage work, you have communicated your needs and they are not being met, you have empathized with your partner and you have tried to understand where they are coming from, if you have gotten to the root of the issue, if you have counseling, if you have tried therapy, if you have done everything under the sun to try to make this marriage work and it is still not working, then I completely understand the decision in which you are making. I understand that it is something that you feel is absolutely necessary.
And if you have come to that point and you feel like there is nothing else that can be done, here are some of the ways that you can effectively communicate with your partner that you want a divorce. Number one, be clear. Being clear in your communication is so important because in this situation it is very possible that it is the first time that you are bringing up divorce and if that is the case there will be a lot of emotions involved in this conversation.
So my suggestion to you is to prep your conversation. Prep what you want to say before you have the conversation. Because the more and more and more you practice what you are going to say, the less and less and less emotional it becomes. You are going to have to try to stay as emotionally neutral through this process because it is very possible that your partner will not be emotionally neutral.
So again, make sure you are planning out what you want to say so you feel prepared and ready. Number two, leading off of what I previously said. emotional neutrality is key.
If you have two individuals who are coming together and emotions are extremely high, you will get nowhere. Nothing will be solved. Your point will not get across and will probably end up happening is that you will buckle and you will feel horrible for your partner, or you will get incredibly angry with your partner.
And you will either say, okay, okay, let's try to work it out. Even though, you know, it is not going to work out or you will just be so angry and frustrated that you will walk away from the conversation with no resolve. Emotional neutrality is key. And in order to be emotionally neutral, preparation is so important.
And that is why I said in the previous step, you should prepare what you want to say and practice it over and over and over again. Number three, don't be petty. Being petty gets you nowhere. It's putting gasoline on a flame. You know, if you have come to the decision that you no longer want to be with this person, there is no reason to drag the past into the present.
drag the past into this conversation because that is not productive. That is not efficient. And that is not going to resolve your issues. If anything, it's actually going to make your situation worse.
It's going to make the conversation that much more difficult. So just don't be petty. Yes, you have frustrations.
Yes, you are angry. And there are probably things that you want to get across to him or her before everything is said and done. But If that is something that you feel you need to do in order to move on, write it in a letter and send it to them after the divorce or during the divorce proceedings.
My suggestion would be after the divorce if you've already decided that you no longer want to be with this individual. That way you feel like you have gotten everything off of your chest and you can finally close this chapter of your life and move on. Last but not least, and this is a quote that I love and that I live by, this too shall pass. Now, right now, it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.
You are anticipating this conversation. You probably are losing sleep. You're thinking about it all the time.
You don't know how you're going to express yourself to your partner, but it will pass. This is a momentary thing. And a lot of the times we get so hyper-focused in the moment that we start to lose sight of the possibilities and what can be beyond the hill.
Just remember this too shall pass. And once you have prepped what you want to say, once you have the conversation, and once you have moved on from the relationship, you will look back on this situation. And of course you will remember it as a difficult time in your life, but you will not have that emotionally charged response that you are having right now. So just to recap the four, number one is be clear.
Number two is emotional neutrality. Number three is don't be petty. And number four is this too shall pass.
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You can also book a one-on-one coaching session with either myself or one of the incredible coaches that we have on the team. Again, my name is Danny. I'm your life and relationship coach, and I hope you guys are staying happy and healthy. See you guys soon.