Hi everyone, welcome back to another podcast episode. My name is Alicia Gogan, the host of the Globe Seekers podcast, where I help you expand your mind and become more self-aware so that you can glow up into the best version of yourself. If you're watching on YouTube, I am in my new podcasting space.
I feel like I want to call it a studio, but it's not a studio yet, but it will be. I am so excited to be in a new space. If you guys did not know, you guys don't watch my YouTube or follow me on Instagram, I finally got my condo.
And that's what we're going to talk about in this episode. We're going to do a whole story time. It's going to be very lengthy, okay?
So just know that. I feel like you guys know that about me and my content in general, and that is why I'm a long form girly. I do go on rants. I do talk about a million things, but this is the outlet to do it. So...
I want to talk about obviously the process of me getting this place and some of the lessons and the things that I learned and how I think everything was so connected to allow me to be in this specific place because I always think that everything works out and happens for a reason. Okay, so let's bring it back because you know me, we're always bringing it back. This time last year, I decided to...
leave a job that was like a salary job. I was working as a health and wellness consultant at a tech company because I realized that that was not where I wanted to continue to pursue my career. And at that time, I was also working a part-time job as a service bartender, which I had had for many years.
I took a break when I had my nerve pain and also the pandemic, but I've always had that job and I needed it because quite frankly, the job that I was at wasn't really paying me enough. So- This time last year is when I decided I'm gonna leave and when I realized that I was living in an area if I feel like a lot of you might not know it's called Markham but it was outside of Toronto and it's a great area it reminds me a lot of my hometown which is Barrie and it's very like family friendly and but there was just not I wasn't doing much I didn't really have a life now Why it worked and why I was there to begin with was because I went to school before I even got my job and serving and like my actual like salary job as well. And so that's why I stationed there basically.
And as I was going to school and working, I didn't really have much of a life. So I didn't feel the pull to go move downtown or figure out where I really wanted to live. But I didn't have that many friends there other than just work friends.
And. I didn't have any of my family there. And anytime that I did go out, it was always going downtown Toronto.
So when I decided to leave my job, I no longer needed to be in Markham anymore. So I was considering, okay, well, I'm making more money now being a bartender slash server full-time, which is still insane to me that I was making more money doing that than working a apparently safe salary job. No shade to that. That was a whole experience and it was great.
But I was like, okay, let me consider moving because there was the apartment that I was living at was a great rent price. I think it was like $1,300 and it was really big. It was a one bedroom with a living room. It was great. But it's, uh, there was a guy that was living above me and he was so freaking loud.
Like the, it was like an older building. It wasn't a new condo. It wasn't even a condo.
And it was just, it came to a point, this is, and this is going to be a theme of my whole life is it came to a point where I needed to leave for two reasons. One, because I realized I was, I didn't need to be in Markham and I was outgrowing it and I didn't really have a life. And after the pandemic, everything opened up. I was like, I want a life. I want to do things.
But also the living situation was ridiculous. I couldn't sleep. There was a guy who was just way too loud above me all the time.
Like there was nothing I could really do. So I was like, okay, you know what? Let me consider moving. At this point, I didn't really. think about living downtown Toronto.
I never really had a pull to live downtown Toronto because for me personally, I'm more of a suburb girly. I was raised in a hometown where it wasn't a big city. So, and I also like to go on walks and just have space around me and not feel like I'm living in a concrete jungle.
So at that point, I wasn't really thinking of living downtown. And on top of that, I was still serving and working in Markham. But I still had a lot more flexibility.
So I was like, you know what? Let me move. Let me look around and see if I could maybe live a little bit closer to the city.
Because that way, you know, I have a car. I can drive to work. But I don't need to be in Markham. And I can be closer to downtown. And if...
Some of you guys don't know, North York is basically kind of like a middle ground. You know, you're with traffic, unfortunately, it is like it can be 50 minutes away from the city, even though if there was no traffic, it could be like 20 minute drive. But that really is never a thing because there's always traffic. But I was like, as long as I get somewhere closer so I feel somewhat part of something.
I was feeling so alone, especially after the pandemic. I just realized, and I'm an introvert and I love being by myself. But I was like, you know, this girl needs to go have a life. And...
So I ended up looking for some condos. I found a place. And at that same point is when I decided to leave my tech company, my tech company, not my tech company, the tech company that I was working for.
And I found a beautiful condo. Shout out to the shack. If anyone knows, uh, somebody had called my condo a shack, which it was not, it was beautiful and it had everything that I needed. And it was great.
And it was a new space. And I didn't know much about North York. It was, there was like a little downtown area.
So I felt a little bit more like in the scene of things. And so I moved and, you know, the past year, I continued to grow my podcast and start on YouTube. As soon as I, as soon as I moved into my new place, uh, April, 2022, that's when I started to do YouTube again.
Cause I was doing a few vlogs. I think I did two vlogs in the winter time before I had moved, but it was just, I w there was so many things going on in my life. So I picked back up and I continue to be consistent with that.
I had the best summer ever. Honestly, I grew so much. I had so many spiritual practices. I had so many realizations. I had such a good time with the podcast and growing my audience and getting into relationships and unfortunately, situationships at that point.
Not a lot, but like we're going to talk about that in an episode. But I had a great time. It was beautiful. It was great.
But honestly, I was working a lot. So I didn't even spend that much time at home. I was always working. And then when I wasn't serving bartending, I was creating content videos and whatever. So it got to.
a point where it was, I think November. Yeah. Right before my birthday is when my first video kind of went viral on YouTube and you know, things just kept going up and up and up, which is a whole story time because right around that time I was going through a breakup.
And I think that my breakup had a huge part, played a huge role in my quantum leap with my success in my life, which is definitely a story time for next week. Cause we're going to talk about breakups next week. But at that time, so many things were going on.
I ended up leaving my job and then I went full time as a content creator. So by the end of 2022, which was not that long ago, I was full time and I had a lot more time on my- hands and I wasn't thinking about moving I just was still grinding you know like now I was like I have more time to do more videos and build the podcast and do whatever and it was great I enjoyed my Christmas you know I was a little bit lonely through the winter especially because I still was going through a breakup and you know winter winter blues I ended up going to Mexico over the holidays which then I came back and I made a video because I was so depressed from that. Um, and when I got back, actually, you know what, before I left to Mexico, I started to realize that there was a smell that was coming into my apartment and I didn't understand what it was. And I realized that my apartment was right across from the garbage chute.
And The thing that I didn't understand was when I went out into the hallway, it didn't smell. But in my apartment, it smelled. And I was like, okay, what?
And then I would open the garbage chute and it smelled the same smell that I was smelling in my apartment. And then I put two and two together and I realized that there was a draft the way that my condo was positioned right across from the garbage chute. And because anytime I opened my door.
like my balcony door, it was even worse. It would... Like it would bring the smell into my apartment, which was insane because as soon as I walked out of my apartment, I actually wouldn't even smell it in the hallway.
And so I was like, what? Like, this is, first of all, disgusting. I remember the first time I, the first time this was like maybe a few weeks after I had left my job or sorry, maybe a week after I left my job and I went full time as a content creator, I was cleaning.
I was finally like deep cleaning my apartment because I had time because I was grinding. And I remember after I was done. done cleaning my apartment, I started smelling this smell and I, I started getting a headache. It was so bad and I couldn't understand.
And then I, I made, I made the correlation and I was like, what? Like I never smelt this, this whole entire half the year that I was living here. It's so weird.
And it is a new condo, but I was like, what is going on here? And the unfortunate part is when I opened the garbage disposal, there was no garbage sitting out there. It wasn't gross. It was all clean, but it was the draft that was pulling things up and in.
So I was like, okay, this is an issue. I called concierge. I let them know.
They said they would send cleaners, whatever. And then it kept happening and happening. And I started to realize, I don't think no matter what cleaner comes, it's not going to fix the fact that there's a draft coming through.
And I can't even open my door when it does smell. because it actually makes the draft worse. So I was starting to get really, really annoyed.
I ended up leaving to go to Mexico, came back, and I was still experiencing the same thing. And at that point, you know, I was sending emails back and forth. I'm like, this is literally not livable.
It's not livable. I couldn't even go in. I couldn't sit in my living room.
I had two glass doors, which you would see in the background of a lot of my podcast episodes and even my YouTube. where that was the only space for some reason I wasn't able to smell it. Thank God. But there was times where I was literally like breaking down, crying, sending my best friend voice notes so annoyed because it was my own space and I couldn't get out of it and it smelled so disgusting.
And so back and forth, back and forth. They said that they were going to try and fix it, whatever. At this point, I'm like, there's not much fixing that.
So after... You know, simultaneously, this garbage thing was happening. It didn't happen every single day, but it happened a few times out of the week.
And I was getting really frustrated. I started to realize I have so much time on my hands. I no longer need to be in North York anymore. I don't have a life here. If I'm being honest, North York, there is a very, very big Asian community.
There's a very big Persian community, which love them, literally love all of them. But and again, it's not to say that. they were nobody that looked like me or no one that was my age or, you know, were into the same things. Cause there was absolutely not, but it was literally like, that was the biggest type of community that was around there. And I felt a little disconnected.
I felt like when I would go out to these, any restaurants, majority of them were like Chinese restaurants or Asian restaurants, Asian cuisine, Japanese, whatever, which is amazing. Love it. There was bomb food, literally bomb food, but I felt very disconnected. I felt like I couldn't go out of my apartment and, you know, maybe like...
go to a coffee shop or go to a place where I felt like I was in the mix, in the mix. And on top of the garbage thing, I realized, I think that I'm outgoing this place at this point. And I think that this garbage situation is a sign from the universe. And I know it sounds a little bit cheesy, but I think it's a sign from the universe for me to really reconsider if I'm going to sign this lease again, because- for one, I feel like this place is unlivable.
And for two, maybe, maybe it's time to go because I mean, I don't need to be in North York anymore. I don't need to be here. So I sat on it for a little while and I was like, listen, I don't need to be here. I think it's time that come April when my lease expires, I'm going to leave. And cue the search for condo hunting in Toronto.
So I made this decision January, February, March. Yeah, I made this decision probably January that I was going to leave. And I had to give my landlord 60 days notice. that's just kind of standard unless you're doing month to month but I wasn't so because I was still in my lease so I had a lot of time before I was even going to be able to go look at condos because if you don't know the condo market in Toronto and most places I feel they they come and go very very quickly so you know like it could be two weeks left of the month and you still haven't gotten a condo but then one will go out in the market and you'll go look at it and apply and then you get it like it's very quick so there was no there was no condos or units on the market for April 1st.
Cause that's what I was looking for around January. But I decided to start looking at all of the condos, all the areas in which I would want to live because I didn't really know where I wanted to live downtown. If you don't know, like there's so many different ends, there's the West end, there's the East end, like there's Midtown.
My cousin lives in Midtown. I had spent a lot of time in the East end of Toronto. I didn't spend too much in the West, but I have some friends there too. Like I, I kind of knew, but I didn't really know.
So anyways, I was looking for condos, areas, everything. I was literally searching every building, seeing what amenities they had. Um, you know, the layout, everything, because I realized, you know what?
I know that I'm going to be spending more money a month for my rent and I'm going to make sure it's damn worth it. I'm going to get every single thing that I want. The condo that I had just moved from.
It had a gym, but it didn't have anything. So I needed to get a gym membership. Didn't have a pool, didn't have a rooftop deck, whatever.
Which, you know, granted, I wasn't looking for that when I moved anyways. And it served a purpose and it was great. It was $2,000 with a locker and parking, which is a good price. And it was brand new. It worked.
So I wasn't like... mad about that but I realized you know I want to have a good gym and I want to work out at my condo and I want to have the rooftop deck and I want to do all these things if I'm going to spend money so there was things that I was looking for and I was being very particular with these things and some of the things I was looking for now were going to be a little bit different so I was looking for a two-bedroom place it was either a one-bedroom plus den or two bedrooms. I wanted a second space so that I could have the space that I have right now for the podcast, for creative working from home. Like I needed a space that is one thing that my old condo, I just felt like I was living in a box, living in a shack, let's say, but I honestly wasn't like it, it had enough room for me. It honestly did.
But, um, with the, the goals that I have for my business, I wanted a second room. So I knew that that needed to be a thing, which meant my budget was going to need to change a little bit because the price is in Toronto. They're expensive, especially when you're getting a second room, which I knew.
And I was prepared to pay because of, you know, how much I'm making. I was able to do it. I'm able to do it.
And originally I wasn't looking for a corner unit. I didn't really think too much about that, but I was very interested in finding a place that had a lot of lighting. And that is why I was looking for a two bedroom or a one plus den with a window because I need natural lighting so that I can film. And So I wasn't really thinking of a corner unit, but then I started to look at them and I was like, damn, like that would give me more lighting.
And you know, that's more of a materialistic, more egotistical thing. But I kind of had that in the back of my head, but I want to note one thing here. I knew that there might be an issue when it came to moving, when it was time to actually put in applications, because I am a content creator. Many people don't understand what this job is, even though on paper, I show how much money I'm making from Google, how much money I'm making from brand deals.
It's still... When people look at that, it's not that they don't trust it. It's sometimes more of like, okay, well, is it going to be consistent? The same thing goes with if you're a freelancer or you're working for yourself, you're an entrepreneur. Sometimes some people are like iffy about it.
And you know, the biggest reason why people were iffy about it, honestly, was because my income was only this for the past like four to five months. Although the past year I've been doing brand work, but it's been, you know. Um, this month here and that month here, even though it's been lump sums of money and it's literally like way over a salary, some of these deals, but it doesn't matter.
Some people are very old school. So I had a feeling that this might've been an issue, but on top of that, I knew that. I'm able to create the life that I want and there is a way, I don't even want to say a way around it, but there's ways that we can make this work and nothing in life is perfect.
And on top of that, I have amazing track record with... obviously landlords and jobs, everything's consistent. No matter how much money I'm making, it's consistent. I have a credit score of damn near 900. Like I'm a very responsible person. So I wasn't feeling too self-conscious.
about that, even though, you know, on paper it, you know, some people might question, it's not questioning the money, it's questioning like, okay, well, is this going to be that consistent down the road? How do you, how do you convince somebody that you're going to continue to be successful? Well, I, I don't need to convince anyone, but when you're working with other people and they're wanting to put trust in you to pay their rent, they kind of want to know, right?
So, so fast forward to middle to late February into March. is when some of the condos were coming on the market for either mid-March or April 1st. And, you know, I'm happy that I spent a lot of time looking at all of these different condos and different sides of town and things because when it was ready, this is what I wanted to do for myself.
I knew when the condos came on the market, I wanted to be able to kind of jump in a way, not quickly, but I wanted to be able to go see it and kind of... feel like this was the right place because I already knew what was out there. So I wanted, I was very familiar with all the different condos. So when I found something, it was kind of like, okay, I know that I'm not like, oh, well, what if there's another one or what if the, you know? So I mean, it didn't really work like that, but still, I kind of had that in my head.
So a condo came onto the market and I looked at it and it was. perfect or I thought it was perfect. It was $28.50, which was a great price for my budget.
And it had a parking spot and it had a locker, which... I have a car. So that's what I was looking for. I was looking for units with parking. And by the way, side note, looking for a condo of your dreams and trying to find a parking spot is, can be difficult.
There's a lot of condos that just don't offer parking spots. But of course, I was looking for that. So it had two bedrooms.
It was a corner. It was, it was basically a corner unit. It had like half of a corner, but it was beautiful.
Like I had enough lighting, both of the bedrooms. were great sizes and it had windows and the kitchen was beautiful it was like all white it had an island which i loved everything it looked just amazing they had a rooftop pool which is amazing they had a gym that had everything i was looking for specifically i was looking for a gym that had um barbells and like free weights not just machines because i want to have because that's how i i work out i don't just use machines and i feel like it's a cop-out for most condos to only have machines like i'm already paying enough a month and you're going to tell me that I still need to go to a good life or an LA, like get out of here. So anyways, it had everything that I was looking for and it was in a perfect area that I wanted. It was closer to the water. It was close enough for me to walk downtown to the core, which is another thing that I wanted.
I wanted to be a little bit close to, um, downtown. One thing I'll note is I was considering living in Midtown, but Midtown, I knew that I was going to feel like I was living in North York still, because if I wanted to walk anywhere, it would take an hour and a half, um, or I'd have the subway, which I'm fine with, but I wanted just to have the ability to walk places. Like, I just want to be close to things. I'm, I'm, I'm done not being close to things. So anyways, go look at the place.
It was great. I was like, it checks all the boxes. Like, let's put it in, let's put the offer in.
So we put the offer in and they reject it because they say, you know, that you, you're, um, my agent, I was working with an agent, shout out to Jade. I don't think she'd be listening to this, but She's actually somebody that I knew from my hometown. Anyway, so she was helping me look for a place and she told me that the landlords, they thought I was a great applicant and I was responsible, but they're just going to go with somebody who has a more steady, basically regular job. And I was like, okay, whatever. I was let down because I was really excited for that, but whatever.
One thing to note, and she was really helpful throughout this whole process. Because we had established that it might be a little bit difficult and people aren't going to always want to consider an applicant that doesn't have a traditional job. She was like, you know, there's going to be people who accept your application. And, you know, not everyone gets it, which really helped me kind of, you know, continue to move forward. So after this apartment, it made me really want a corner unit.
Like after seeing it, I was like, this is what now this kind of sets the standard a little bit. And again, I told you guys I wasn't really looking for one, but then when I saw it, I was like, oh god I need one of these like You know, and so I really started hunting for those corner units as well and there was a lot on the market We end up going to a new building and it was a corner unit like even more corner like even more windows Same type of layout. They had an island whatever two bedroom nice view They had the amenities that I needed, but this condo was at the top of my budget, but I was still willing because it was everything that I was looking for. And so when we put the offer in, when we put the offer in, I felt I wasn't excited, which I was like, why am I not excited for this?
It is everything that I'm looking for. And it was beautiful, but there was something within me that was like, I don't know. And at this point, the stress, I was very stressed.
I was doing my best to not be stressed, but I was, you know, as soon as you put in application, you have like 24 hours for them to, you know, reject or move forward. And it's just the waiting game for me. I hate waiting.
I literally hate it. So anyways, we put the offer in and I go to sleep. I'm not feeling a hundred.
It wasn't, I didn't even know if I was feeling a hundred percent about it. I just, there was something that I wasn't feeling. And then the next morning. I wake up and my agent's like, hey, like they're just looking for a few other things and they're looking for bank statements and also more rent upfront, which I had figured that might have to be a thing after, you know, talking to my agent. There are definitely some landlords who want you to pay a little bit more upfront if they feel maybe your application is not as strong, which I was honestly okay with doing.
Um, because I mean, I was going to have to pay rent anyways. It's not. ideal and that's kind of more of a last resort thing. But considering this was at the top of my budget and they, my agent ended up telling me that they were wanting, originally the landlord had asked for me to do an upfront of one year.
I was, and she even told me, she's like, I am not asking her to do that. Like no matter what you, that is like insane to be asking. Even like six months upfront is, you know, not that ideal, especially when the market is not super, even when the market is really, really hot, it's kind of out of pocket to be asking for that much upfront. So anyways, when she had told me that I got on the phone with her. And she said, originally he was going to ask for like a lot and then we, we, we can easily bring it down though, blah, blah, blah.
When she said that to me, I was like, you know what? This does not sit right with me. And part, part of me was like wanting to get the place anyways, because it was everything that I was looking for, but I knew it only be getting that place out of scarcity. Like believing that there was nothing, there wasn't going to be anything better, but I knew that there was a feeling within me that just was saying no. And I think it was even outside of, you know.
them asking for upfront rent because I honestly think that I could have just done a few months and it would have been fine which I was actually going to be fine with but I was like you know what that just made me realize like no just go with your gut and I told her on the phone I said for some reason I wasn't feeling it last night and I just I don't know if I should and she was like honestly just go with your gut we don't have to do it we can you know done. The offer doesn't need to be a thing anymore. We can continue to look.
And when I got off the phone with her, I just felt so good. And for the first time I was like, wow, like I have already come so far, not just even in this process, but old me would have had, would have felt the urge to just get it because I don't know if there's going to be a better place and you know, well, I can't afford it. So let me just do it. And I'm just going to do it.
It's taken me a long time to release control and release things and let things play out how they really need to. And this was just a. you know, a growth.
Like I just looked at myself in the mirror and I was like, you're growing, you know, you, you're allowing yourself to let what doesn't feel right go. And so many times in my life, there was, I felt that gut feeling and I continued to push through it and it never worked out. And I knew when I felt this, like from experience before I knew it wasn't it.
Like if something doesn't feel right to you. It's a no, like honestly. And, you know, some people logically they'll say, well, you know, you can't always just follow your, your energy or your emotions and whatever, which is true. Like sometimes you have to think logically and you have to really have that conversation with yourself.
Like, am I feeling anxiety? Am I feeling like I shouldn't say yes to this application just because, you know, I don't know something that's logical. And I just need to talk myself like through it and realize like, Hey, you are worthy of this place and you can get it and whatever.
But sometimes it's not about doing the logical thing, the masculine thing, the thing that makes the most sense. Sometimes it's trusting and following your feminine, your emotions, the gut feeling, the spiritual side of yourself that says, something's off. And we don't know what's off.
And I feel like sometimes when we're too much in our masculine energy, we will override that feeling and we'll tell ourselves, well... The feeling, the gut feeling doesn't, it's not logical and doesn't make sense. So I can't follow that. And I need to move into the logical and I need to get this because I can do it X, Y, and Z. But there's something that is so unique to that feminine, to that, that gut feeling, which both men and women have that.
But I find a lot of women can tap into that a lot if we actually trust it and we allow ourselves to, and it brings us into the right place. And let me tell you. That was the best decision for me to not go to that place because of where I'm at right now, but we're not there yet.
We have a few other things that played into why I got here as well. So I just want to note that was the first, you know, big realization in this story for me, this process of being like, trust your gut, trust yourself. Trust the feeling even when you can't fully 1000% make sense of it.
And another thing to note here that I was trying to tell myself, like have this conversation with myself about should I say yes or should I say no? If I knew that if I said yes to this condo, it was a place of, I was saying yes from anxiety. I was feeling a lot of anxiety.
I was feeling rushed. I was feeling like everything was moving too quickly. And when you feel that, when you take action from that place, when you make a decision from that place, it's my personal opinion that it's not the right decision.
It shouldn't feel like there's anxiety and there's force and there's like pressure to go. That's not, in my opinion, not the way to go. But again, we do things out of scarcity.
We get confused. And at the end of the day, you know, sometimes you have to make those decisions. I've made many of those decisions based out of fear, scarcity, but just know when you, or I guess maybe this can help you when you want to know if you're making a decision out of scarcity or just maybe like an old limiting belief that's kind of coming up is do I feel anxiety? Do I feel rushed? Do I feel like I have to do this or not or it's going to be taken away?
Then it's probably out of scarcity. Same thing goes with when you're shopping, right? and you, you know, you see somebody talk about a book and you think it's going to change your life and then you tell yourself, I need to get it and I need to get it now.
And you're like rushing and you're checking out and everything's so chaotic and very stressful. Then it's like, maybe that's not the right decision for you right now. Why do we need to rush?
And when I do that, when I apply that reasoning, logical reasoning, I think it's quite logical thinking about things that way. I always, when I actually fall back and I see things for what it is, I end up realizing, yeah, it was the right decision to fall back. I didn't actually need that book right now because truthfully, I don't end up reading the book when I actually get it out of scarcity like that.
I don't have the time. But in the moment, I'm just so focused on the, oh my God, I need this book because it has the answer and it needs to fix my life right now. It's very scarcity. It's just, yeah, I don't know. So anyways, when that didn't happen, I felt very, very good.
But then I was also like, okay, now I got to look again. So this is the time where I start to have a lot of self-doubt, question what I'm looking for and why I'm looking for it. I had a few people in my life that were, you know, advising me as well and having conversations with me about looking for places and all from love, all from support. But no matter what, when you have people in your ears, they're naturally going to project on you what they think is best for you.
And sometimes they do know what's best for you. But at the end of the day. You have to be the one that makes that decision and you know what feels the best to you. So I started questioning, do I really need a corner unit?
And I was also talking to my friend about, you know, the parking and she, cause I was, I was getting kind of stressed because I was like, I'm trying to find a corner unit, two bedrooms, and I'm trying to find it with parking. And I'm feeling very limited because I can't really find parking. And then, um, my friend was saying, well, you don't, you can still look and not have.
parking. Like you can find a way to park your car somewhere else or at a parking garage and blah, blah, blah. And so when she was saying that at first I was having resistance because I didn't want, cause it felt scary to me to look for a place without a parking spot because naturally I like to control. I like to fix.
I want everything set up exactly the way that it is. And for me to feel like I have to figure out how I'm going to park my car downtown Toronto, if I don't have my own parking spot, stressed me out and I didn't want to do it. But I knew. that it was good to take in consideration what she was saying and I could trust her. And so I was like, okay, you know what?
Maybe I could consider doing that. And I started asking questions about, okay, well, what would it look like if I had to find a parking spot and it didn't have in my condo? And I was getting, uh, you know, different advice and all of that kind of stuff. And then I came to the realization that maybe I should consider selling my car. Now this is, wasn't just like off the whim.
Oh, let me just sell my car now because somebody said you don't need a parking thing, but. I had considered the idea of not, of just maybe selling my car when I thought about moving in January. But then, honestly, out of pure convenience and I didn't want to stress myself out, I was going to keep my car and just find a...
parking spot because I knew I could afford it. And I was just honestly, it was honest. It was just out of laziness and me not wanting to challenge myself.
And I was thinking about how I'm going to sell my car and I don't know anything about cars and whatever. So I was like, I basically told myself just. you're going to keep the car, which in hindsight, it's like, don't, you don't keep an expensive car. It wasn't that expensive, but you don't keep an extra expensive.
You don't need it just because you don't know how to sell a car. Like, come on, like you go ask somebody, you get the help. So anyways, when she was saying, when we're getting in the, you know, the vibes of, should we do the parking spot?
Whatever. I was like, you know what? maybe it is time for me to be real with myself and maybe I should sell my car because listen, what I know about myself is when I go out anywhere downtown Toronto, I don't want to drive. I don't want to drive because sometimes if I go out, I'm having a drink, so I'm not drinking and driving. Secondly, I mean, if I'm in close proximity to anywhere downtown, it's a little silly for me to drive and then go park my car and first of all, drive in traffic and then park my car somewhere where it's going to cost $20.
Just to come back, like I know myself, I knew no matter where I would go, if I needed to, if it wasn't walking distance or if it was late at night, I would Uber. I do it all the time. And so I was just being rational with myself, bringing that masculine energy back into my reality and being like, Alicia, even if you have your car down here, you're not even going to use it. You barely even use it now when you live in North York. What makes you think you're going to use it anymore?
You're going to use it less and you're going to use it less because now you're walking distance to most things. Right. I'm a walker. I love to walk.
I love a good Hawkgirl walk. So I was like, no, you need to decide to sell this car. And as I was thinking about that.
a place came on the market at the same building actually that I had originally looked at the first one that I was kind of like my heart was kind of like pulled to this one place it just felt you know when you feel the vibes of a certain place and you feel comfortable there so anyways a unit came up on the market and I was able to click on it and look at it because it said no parking but I no longer had that barrier because I was deciding that I was going to let go of this car I wasn't a hundred percent but at this point I was like All right, let me just see what's out there now that I don't need to look for a parking spot. And of course, there's going to be so many more units that I can look at. So I find this unit and it had a one bedroom and a den, but the den was in front of the bedroom and it had a window. So I was like, OK, that works like I'm fine with that.
You know, if I need to, maybe it's not a second room, but as long as I have the window and I have some lighting and whatever. And it actually was, again, it had that little corner. It wasn't a huge corner unit, but it was great. It had a great view.
It was in the building. I already knew that I liked that building and it was at a great price. It was, I think it was like $2,600.
It didn't have parking and it didn't have a locker, but I was like, okay, like this is like the bottom of the bottom for me. Like this is basically the same amount of money that I'm gonna be paying for rent because I'm going to be giving away my car. So anyways, we went to go get that place.
And at that point I was like, it's perfect. It has everything that I need. I don't need a lot. There's a lot of places that were two bedrooms and it had two washrooms. And I really didn't want a second washroom because I'm like, I don't need it.
I do not need a second washroom. So we put in the application. I decided I'm not, I don't need my car.
And I get rejected from this application. And at this point I broke down and cried because I was thinking a few things. I was like, I. Let I took away some of the barriers, you know, I fell back a little bit on what I was looking for You know, I put my ego aside and on top of that I decided that I was gonna be selling my car and this place was not that expensive. So Also, I was thinking like if I can't get this place like how am I gonna get another place?
Like is it really that and say I couldn't believe it and so I broke down and cried because I was really let down And I thought that I was going to get that. And, you know, my agent was like, it's fine. Like, you know, there's just going to be some landlords who just don't want to accept it.
If you're, especially if you're putting in an application at the same time as someone else. And so I mourned that loss. I let myself, and this is one thing I want to know as well, even though in hindsight, it wasn't a big deal.
It was a big deal. It was a big deal for a lot of reasons. And I felt my emotions and.
naturally I would tell myself to not be upset and push my feelings away. But knowing what I know now and being in this healing era, and you guys know me, I'm very much so about embracing our emotions. So I was like, you know what? I'm going to let myself cry. I'm going to let myself feel disappointment.
I'm going to let myself feel scared and confused and everything. I let myself feel every single thing. And the quicker that I did that, the easier it was for me to actually get back up. So that's one thing to note about anything.
Let yourself feel, because if you don't yourself feel. You're going to keep these emotions in and then other, everything is going to start piling up and then you're going to have this huge outburst and it's going to take days and days and days for you to get over. And I knew that about myself.
So I was like, let myself cry. Well, don't think about condos. Let's not look at them right now.
And just like have a night to yourself. And then the next day I woke up, I felt a little, still a little bit disappointment, but I was like, you know what? Rejection is redirection.
Let's keep going. Let's keep looking. And so I think a few days passed.
And at this point I was feeling a little jaded. I'm not going to lie because And at this point, when I got rejected, I had another conversation with somebody in my life and they were basically questioning why it was I was looking for a two bedroom. And she was coming from a very, very logical, smart place.
But it felt like, you know, I already felt. crappy enough about feeling like so much rejection and just very confused and stressed in this in this limbo and I'm somebody who wants to know what's happening and because I was in this state when she was saying certain things to me I just felt like you know I felt like maybe she was getting in my she wasn't getting in my head she wasn't getting in my head but that one comment got in my head because I was like well maybe am I am I asking for too much am I asking for too much and then I was, I was at crossroads because I know, knowing me, you guys know me, like I have confidence in myself. I know what I'm worthy of. First of all, or second, third of all, I have the money and the resources and the work ethic to continue to move forward and actually get the place that I want. So it's like when I was hearing, okay, well, why are you basically.
wanting, it's like you're wanting too much type thing. And I was like, am I wanting too much? Or do I just know my worth at this point?
You know, it's like, I want a second place. I'm not going to budge on a second place. And then at this point I was thinking, cause she had mentioned, well, maybe you just do like a one bedroom and you know, you do that for a year and you build up your income and blah, blah, blah.
And I get that. It's very logical. But I was like, I have done that. I've been working.
I've been working since freaking. since I was young I feel like it was less to do with my ego even though on the outside it looked like it was my ego talking and I think that's why she had said that comment because she was like well why do you need this or why do you need it at this price or whatever um But for me, it was just so important that my environment is the most important thing. It's the, my environment is the most money that I'll ever spend on anything is my environment.
Um, I spend the most time here. So there was just things I was not willing to give up. And I told myself, there's just no way I'm giving it up. And talking about the market for one, um, you know, even getting a one bedroom, even if it wasn't a corner, even if it was, but a one bedroom.
it wasn't that much more like it wasn't that much cheaper than what I was looking for for like two bedrooms or even the one that I had just gotten rejected to so in my head I was like okay so I'm basically gonna say um pay around the same or at least around like the lower end of my budget which I guess you wouldn't have a low end if you had a budget whatever um but for for a place that I don't love like I'm not doing that I literally at this point I was getting so irritated that I was like you know what because I was looking for other places too I wasn't really finding anything at that moment so I was like you know what fuck everyone literally fuck everyone I'm just going to put myself in my stuff in storage and go to Florida because like I just can't because at this point I am not going to be putting my hard-earned money in a place that I don't love I just won't do it and again it was just that child part of me it was a part of me that was triggered it was a part of me that was wounded that you know I felt like everyone was against me and I was like fuck everyone that I'm I'm just going to go. But I knew also my logical part of me was like, no, like you don't have to take what everyone is saying as your truth, but just, just listen. And it's okay. You don't need to let that make you get on a flight to Miami. And so after I was having my little fit of being like, fuck everyone, I'm going to Miami.
I was like, okay, you know what? Let me just look one more time and just see. And honestly, if I feel like I'm going to get put through a ringer once again, if I keep getting rejected, then that I'm going to leave. Like.
literally I'm going to leave. And so anyways, I end up finding a new apartment. It was in the same area and it had everything.
It was actually much nicer amenities, much nicer everything. And I saw there was a bunch of units on. the market.
And they're basically very similar, similar, and this is important to note. Um, there are, there are similar, but on different floors and the layout was actually, I was so surprised because it was corner. They were, they were all corner units and it was technically, it was listed as a one bedroom plus den. So the price was down a little bit. It was like a lot of the prices were like 28, $2,900.
Um, although it didn't have parking or lockers, but it was a good price considering it was a corner unit. The views were a max. immaculate and the one in the den, it was second room basically.
So we get there and we see three units. The first unit was great, beautiful views. Obviously just everything was great about it.
And then we see the second unit and it was really, really high. It was literally, you could see. all of the CN Tower and the whole lake and everything.
And it was beautiful, but it was the same layout. Um, but it was amazing obviously. And then we saw a third unit that was lower than both of them. And it just, the, the views weren't that nice. Um, but it was still, it was a corner unit, like, and it was a great price.
Actually it was, it was more money than the first one that we had seen. So I was, I was already in my head. I was like, I'm not going to even apply to this place because like what? Now that I'm thinking about it, we actually saw the highest unit. last.
And so when we were in the highest unit, I was like, this is insane. Like this is, first of all, my price point. I can afford this.
This has everything. We looked at the amenities, whatever. I was like, let's do it.
And I want to note. one thing that I internally felt here. Partly I was thinking, okay, there was another unit that looked just as good and it was a little bit less, but this one had the best views. And partly I felt as if my ego was making this decision to put in an application for this place because essentially I only wanted it because the views looked a little bit better than the other one. But I was like, let's just do it.
Like it's not that much money, um, more than the other one. Like let's, let's try this. So we put it in.
And the next day I got rejected. At this point, I was kind of jaded and I didn't feel as let down as the other place. I was like, okay, you know, rejection is redirection. Like I actually practice a lot of non-attachment at this point because I knew how the game would be.
My agent was just saying like, you know, like the same type of message. It's fine. Like we will find you a place, blah, blah, blah.
And I said, well, is that second unit still available? because I had already looked at it and the views were great. I loved it.
So, and it was a little bit cheaper. And I asked her, can we put an application in? She's like, yeah, sure.
Let's do it. It's still, it's still available. And I just want to know at this point, applying to places back to back, it felt like an eternity because when you apply to a place, you have to wait for them to present it to the landlord and then they get back to you. And if you, you know, if you apply during the day, usually you're not going to hear back for the next day.
So it just felt so long because as soon as I got rejected in that morning, I put in a new application and then it was like more stress of like waiting. And you know, I did my best to just relax regardless, but it was the waiting that was really kind of like stressing me. Cause I just, I would just was put through the ringer.
I got, and honestly, looking back, I really wasn't because people have even a harder time doing this, but I was like, god like please I just can't do this anymore so anyways when I got rejected in the morning I was going downtown to I don't even know I was doing something for my car so I was going downtown and I had just been rejected like before I left and I was like okay keep going I told her to make a new application for the new place when I get down there um after I was done with my car I went to a coffee shop and I was doing some work and they got back to us quite quickly and they were basically the the listing agent which is different different than my agent that was looking with me. The listing agent was wanting more bank statements. They just wanted more stuff. And at this point I was just so fragile and I just was like so done with people questioning things and just, you know, like I was just, oh, like I, I was like, well, how many more things do I need to prove to you at this point? It was just getting ridiculous.
So I ended up getting really emotional. I was at the coffee shop getting so emotional. Cause I was just like, Oh. Why? Like, why?
And so anyways, I didn't even know if I wanted to send these certain bank statements because it... It didn't it wasn't even a full representation of my income because I also had money in high interest savings account and whatever And so I was like fuck it. I'm gonna send this.
I don't even know if it's gonna change anything for you guys um, but Have fun with it at this point and I even told my agent i'm like if they ask for anything else at this point I'm good on that and i'll just leave like I don't need this anymore Like I was just so done and but I was also like just really annoyed and I think one thing to note is it was so important that I can connect with people and get out of my own head, especially when I was waiting for these applications. And it was hard for me because I lived by myself. I was living in North York.
Like there's only so much I could do to get my mind off of the fact that I was waiting for an application to be rejected or, you know. accepted. And as I was leaving the coffee shop, literally was about to cry. There was a girl who had stopped me and she was like, oh my gosh, like I watch your videos.
Oh my God. And I was like, oh my God. And I sat down with her and we had a conversation and she's amazing. She was so great.
And that just lifted my mood. And you know what? I feel like that was like a little sign from the universe just to be like, just let it go for a second and just be present. Because when I had talked to her, we were just, we had such a deep, beautiful conversation. We were on the same like vibe.
Like we, we really talked about a lot of things and it just, it uplifted my mood so much. It just made me so happy just to be away from all of the stress and to, to come in the present moment. And when I, even when I left there, I.
First of all, I think that conversation really helped me, you know, fill up that time from waiting after I had sent. these freaking things. And then when I left, even when I was driving home, like obviously I was still thinking about the application, but I was, you know, thinking about, you know what, this is, this is what you do.
Like, look at the life that you've created to the point where you go outside and somebody says, hi, I watch your videos. Like this is insane. Like this is, this has happened to me before as well, but it's just like, the universe is like, look at who you are.
Remember who you are because this process was breaking me the F down. I'm not going to lie. Like, I got humbled very quickly, you know? So I feel like when I, when that happened and I left and I was driving back home in traffic, I was like, this is a sign from the universe to just remember who you are.
No matter what happens, you can do this. You're going to get what you want. You.
you're worthy of these things. Like you're doing the best. Cause another thing that I was thinking about is like, you know, I have this inferiority complex sometimes, no matter how good that I'm doing, no matter how much money I'm making, you know, how many like lives I'm changing.
I always feel like I should have, you know, been doing more at this time at this age. And I've worked through those, but they, sometimes they'll come up, they'll creep up into your mind when you're doing something that it really requires you to have as much self-worth as you possibly can. And so that, I just think that was the universe just being like, remember who the F you are.
So I get home, just relaxing, just waiting, whatever. And my agent messages me and she says, Hey, like they just had a few more questions about your, like your bank statement or whatever. Um, I was, I'm trying to explain to the landlord, but they just don't really understand. They're just wondering if you could talk to, if you could talk to them.
And at this point I'm like, Okay, I'm stressed now. First of all, I was thinking I'm annoyed because I'm like, how many times do I need to explain this to you? Like you see it on paper, like you see what Google pays me, like let's just not. But then another thought creeped into my head, like when people want to like talk to me about something and I have to like almost prove myself in a way, it brings up these feelings of like. childhood of when I would be in trouble for something.
It was like, I felt like I was in trouble, which was insane because there's nothing for me to be in trouble. Like there wasn't, but it's just like, those are the feelings that came up. And so naturally I didn't want to do it. Right. Not, but then three seconds later, I was like, you're doing it.
Like, of course you're doing it. You need to talk to this person. Like it's, it's now or never, baby. Like you got to do this. Like this is happening.
You need to have a conversation with this person. But I was scared because I thought it was going to be like the, the listing, like realtor place. I don't know who was.
was calling me to ask me to explain my job or what I do or whatever. And even though everything is legit, even though I know what to say, I'm still nervous because I'm like, you know, my apartment's on the line right now. And, um, but she had texted me and she said, yeah, they're like, they're going to call you if that's okay. I can give you the, um, the, the number, or I can give them your number. But she also said, this is a good sign though, because they're looking into it.
Like they haven't said no. And the landlord had actually called me and I missed it. but they left a message and so I listened to the voicemail and it was like an older guy I don't know if he's Italian or maybe Persian or something I don't know but he sounded what he didn't sound threatening so I was actually really happy that I had missed that that phone call because it kind of put me at ease a little bit because I was like okay he sounds like somebody I could have a conversation with and he's not gonna like grill me because I thought someone was gonna grill me I don't even know whatever and so I called back and I was like hi like you know whatever and he had a few questions, but they were so not the questions that I thought.
Like he just asked me like how long I was living at my place for. He just kind of, I feel like he just wanted to know, he wanted to hear me. He wanted to know like who I am. And, you know, he was talking about something with the bank statements. And I told him, you know, like a lot of my money was in like a savings account.
And, you know, sometimes like it looks weird on paper because you're not asking for the right thing, blah, blah, whatever. And, you know. I am somebody who is very personable.
I can have conversations with people. I'm very comfortable having conversations with people, especially if they're coming at me with a good energy. Even if they're not, I can still kind of like bring it down. And... And I just feel like sometimes it's the vibe.
Sometimes it's your personality that's going to shine through and really be that factor of being like, okay, I trust this person or I don't. Again, it comes back to this, the feminine versus the masculine. He could look at my application and be like, okay, on paper, this looks good, whatever, um, and make his decision from that. But sometimes people need to, um, you know, come in contact with that, that's spirit, that vibe, that feminine, not saying he needed to talk to a woman. I just mean there's something about an energy that sometimes you just, you need to see to make sure.
And I think that that's really what it was. Again, I'm not speaking on his behalf. I don't really know, but considering the conversation we had. It was really just the vibes. So at the end of the conversation, he's like, yeah, you know what?
Like, I think, um, yeah, you seem great. And, uh, I'll tell my listing agent to go ahead with it. And I was like, thank you so much.
Like the place is so beautiful. Got off the phone and I was like, I fucking did that. Like I fucking did that.
Like I was the determining factor. Like if I didn't get on that call and really solidified my worth and explain, not even explain myself, but you know. set it straight and be who I am, that wouldn't have been a thing. Now, a few things I want to note here. One was that even when I got off the phone, I was still hesitant to believe that it was going to happen because realistically the papers weren't signed yet, but I like, I knew that it was going to happen.
But I think from the... the waiting games that I was constantly having to play and the uncertainty. And every single time I look at my phone and my agent would message me, I just like was expecting the disappointment.
I just didn't feel like my nervous system was so shot at that point. I was so stressed, especially actually having a conversation and not knowing how that was going to go. But like the, the, the past week I was just so stressed that I wasn't really fully able to sit and be like so excited about it. And that's one thing I want to talk about is, you know, when things come into your life and things work out, if you have come from a foundation of believing that maybe you're not worthy or you've been second-guessing yourself, you might feel like it's not real, it's not happening, you might second-guess yourself. And I started to witness myself doing that and not waiting and like...
And I kept telling myself like, okay, once the papers are signed or once I get the movers and once I get this and that, then it's going to feel real, blah, blah, blah. And I had to coach myself through that time and be like, you are worthy. It's happening. You have these old thoughts that are coming up right now, mainly from the trauma that you were going through for the past few weeks. I'm constantly getting rejected, but even, you know, these emotions are very, very deep and very old and they're coming up into the surface right now.
And you feel the self-doubt, but it's not. It's not your circumstance anymore. Like this is an old story, an old belief, an old feeling.
And I had to really coach myself for the next few days as we were signing the papers, as we were getting the movers, as we were, you know, having these things. It didn't feel real. But the thing is, is like, I didn't want to.
um, not feel excited and not feel like this was real until I landed and put my, my two feet into this place and said that was mine because that's the way to live. Right. But I want to also say that it wasn't, I wasn't feeling a hundred percent until I did move in here.
But over the days and over the times that I kept coaching myself, I was like, this is real. Like you, this is yours. Like you're deserving.
I had to do a lot more reprogramming after being broken down and feeling a lot of self-doubt and questioning. my worth and all of these things. So I just want to note that like when you go through transition in your life, there's things that are going to come up and things aren't just going to be like black and white.
I feel good or I don't feel good. Like there's, there's so many like factors and feelings that come and it's totally a part of the journey. It's a process. And the more that you sit with yourself and you coach yourself and you allow yourself to just be, let yourself feel it. then I think that's really where the wisdom comes out of these things.
And you can look back and you can say, I lived, I was living. Even though things were stressful, even though I was feeling certain ways and happy and not happy and pissed off and whatever, all of it, I was living. You know, I feel like sometimes we just get in our own heads and we think things should be exactly a certain way and it should go like this and then I should move at this day and that day and should...
That's not how life goes and we get scared when life doesn't go like that But that's just living and don't we always talk about wanting to live our best lives? Well, babe, you got to get out of your head and live in reality and I don't mean live in reality and you know Um push away the things that you really want your desires I mean live in reality like be embodied let yourself feel let yourself be happy coach yourself through things and witness yourself And that's what I did and I mean, what a beautiful experience that I didn't even think that I was going to go on. I didn't know it was going to go on like this much of a rollercoaster, but I, I was going on it because I was allowing myself to, and I knew it was important that I let myself go through these feelings, let myself feel the self-doubt, work through the self-doubt because if I'm getting triggered, if I'm feeling self-doubt, there's obviously some sort of insecurity that's residing within me that maybe I still need to work on. Maybe I still need to tell myself that you are worthy, even though logically I know that I'm worthy.
I have the money. I am successful. I believe that I'm going to be continuously being successful.
There's obviously still a part of me, that subconscious inner child part of me that thinks, really don't know, not sure. And then something comes into your life. The universe brings you something and the universe wants to ask you, do you really believe yourself? Do you really love yourself?
Do you really think you're worthy? And if you're starting to feel the self-doubt, then maybe there's a part of you that doesn't feel like that. And then it's like, let's work through that. And that's what I did. Another thing I want to know, the timeline of how everything worked out in terms of like getting rejected and you know, my gut feeling and then getting rid of the car, it made sense why those things needed to happen.
It made sense why I had the gut feeling because listen, the place that I have now is much cheaper than that one place where I was the one that rejected them and it's 10 times more beautiful, which I didn't even know was possible. I wasn't expecting to get the views that I'm looking at right now, like behind the camera and you'll see in the condo tour behind the camera, I'm literally looking at the scene tower and the water and everything. It's beautiful and it's cheaper. Okay.
The gym is much more, it's way nicer. The area is perfect for me and I wasn't going to be able to get this if I said yes and I and I acted out of my anxiety and my scarcity now realizing being in this place it was also meant to be that I didn't get that that place that was $2,600 because at that moment I was like that doesn't it doesn't make sense why I'm not getting this place it doesn't make sense why the universe doesn't want me to have this place like I said that I'd give up my car it's cheaper like it doesn't make sense it has everything I've I've lowered my standards but it's still beautiful and I would have still felt happy in there That place was meant for me to decide to get rid of my car. That's what it was.
Because truthfully, when I was considering selling my car or not, the deciding factor was when I saw that beautiful place. And then I was like, okay, I can give up my car for that. And I decided to like get it moving and talking to people about selling my car. So that's all that place was.
Everything that was like all the moving parts, they were here for a reason. And now I'm in a place which is absolutely perfect for me. Perfect area, amazing views, a corner unit, like everything about it is just perfect and I love it.
And there's so many things that are going to come out of this apartment. There's going to be so many lessons. There's going to be so much growth.
There's going to be just everything that's coming out of this place. And again, you have to ride that wave sometimes. You have to listen. You have to sit with yourself in times of change or uncertainty or anything.
And Just know that things will work out. I knew throughout everything, the time that I was saying, F everyone, I'm going to Miami, you know, just crying in the coffee shop, just wanting to be done with it. I knew in the back of my head, I just kept telling myself, there is a reason why this is not working out right now. I don't know the reason though. And I so badly, that part of me that wants to fix.
That part of me was like, I need to know the reason. I need to know the reason so that I can feel safe in this time of uncertainty. Because that's really what it is.
We want to know the answer so that we don't feel uncomfortable in the unknown, in the uncertainty. Why? Because back in my childhood, it didn't feel good when there was uncertainty because it was an actual threat. It was very unsafe. And I've had to really rebuild my relationship with change, my relationship with the unknown and trusting that I don't need to control everything and that things will come to me.
And unfortunately, when you go through different traumas in your childhood and all these things, you were taught that literally uncertainty actually. There was a bad outcome that came out of that or, you know, change happened too quickly and you weren't ready for that. It happened over and over again in my own, in my childhood when we were constantly moving around and things were taken away from me too quickly, not at the right time.
And I also didn't have that support when we did change and we did go through that transition. I didn't have the healthy support to make me feel like I was safe. even when there was change. And that's the biggest lesson that I have continued to learn over the years. And you need to do so as well is you need to be with yourself when you're going through change, because honestly, change is going to happen.
It's inevitable. And change is actually very, very healthy and good, but you start to feel resistance because you've been taught that having the change is scary. I can't do it.
You can do it, but you need to reparent yourself through this change the way that I did. And reparenting yourself looks like still letting yourself cry because there's going, you're going through change, but at the same time, reminding yourself, you got this and we are safe. The same way you would say to a child, if for some reason, you know, maybe you had some finance issues in the family and you guys had to leave your home, you'd want to make sure that your child felt. like it was still safe, that we're still going to be putting you in a good school and you're going to make new friends and you're going to be happy and all your toys are going to be there and everything is going to be exactly where it needs to be.
Unfortunately, a lot of us don't have that. A lot of us be told you're evicted, go, we need to go, whatever. And we'll figure it out when we get there. That's chaotic. So I say all that to say, embrace change.
Change is amazing. And I'm excited to be here and continue to create. So I hope you guys enjoyed that story time.
You guys know that was a long one, but I really wanted to just kind of, I don't know. I feel like even when I edit this back again, it's going to be nice to just have this story time for myself the same way I did even when I moved into my older condo. I had a little story time on my podcast a while back, but I'm excited to do so much in this apartment.
Like I said, I'm excited to live my life in the city. I'm 27 years old. I want to date again.
I want to have more of a social life. Like this is, again, it comes back to the reason why I wanted to move here in the first place. Yeah, for sure. I have a beautiful condo. And that was something that I really knew that I wanted to have because I was putting my hard earned money into, but that aside, I want to live my life.
This is the, this is the year to get out. I've worked so hard and I've, you know, through the pandemic, like we all have. The pandemic was so disconnecting for everyone. I went through so much health, so many health issues. I was grinding.
I was doing so much. I was so introverted in a good way, but like, you know, I went through so much healing and it's just time for me to live my life. And I'm really excited to be able to bring you guys along. I'll definitely be doing more like vlog style videos, social life things on the main channel as well.
If you want to see my condo tour and what this beautiful place looks like, First of all, follow me on Instagram because you're always going to be able to see the views, the morning, the night, the day views, and any updates when it comes to furnishing this place. But I also did do a condo tour on my main channel. Now, the beginning of that video, 29 minutes to be exact, I talk about how my life became my Pinterest board, because this is a story time of how I got this specific place.
But I kind of take a huge bird's eye view and I talk to you about... you know, from the time I was 16 to now and how I've constantly continued to create the life of my dreams because yeah, I live in my dream condo now, but I was also living in my dream condo a year ago, um, when I had dreams for myself and I continued to move myself out. Like I've gone, gotten so much in my life. So if you're interested in that, then definitely go take a look. And if you just want to see the condo tour, um, I do have a timestamp on that video.
I have a lot of mood boards, which maybe I'll show you guys maybe on Instagram. I want to take my time getting the proper pieces. I don't want to rush myself. It goes back to the rushing myself when I was thinking about should I get that apartment or should I not.
I don't want to feel anxiety. I don't want to feel like I need to just like add everything to the cart and get everything furnished. I want to take my time, look for pieces that are beautiful, make this room amazing for the podcast because this is going to be the room for the podcast.
Honestly, I was thinking if you're looking, um, this is only going to be, if you're watching on YouTube, like the corner here, I want to have like a nice comfy chair for me to sit and maybe some artwork. I'll have to figure it out. It's going to be the summer of a lot of things.
And of course with, you know, Oh, it is the first day of spring, by the way, which is amazing. Love that. But with spring and summer coming, there's going to be so much fun content coming, even on the podcast.
Like, I feel like we need to talk about. dating and social life. And next week we're going to be talking about breakups, situationships, what to do if he's pulling away, all that stuff.
Because I feel like with spring, naturally, it's like, it's the time, it's not the time to change, but it's like, you know, people have been healing from breakups. Maybe you're in a situationship that you don't want to be in right now, or maybe protecting yourself as you're going into the dating market in a way. I don't like really saying the dating market. Maybe I shouldn't say that word, but going out to date.
you know, what to look for, what to not, what to do differently from maybe past situationships, what to do if he's pulling away, all that good stuff. So we're going to talk about that next week, but yeah, that's going to be it. I love you guys.
Thank you so much for rocking with me because you guys have been such a huge part as to why I'm able to do what I'm doing now. And you guys inspire me to continue to move forward. So thank you so much for listening and I'll see you in the next one. Bye.