yo yo what up it is you're a pro vermeil boy Jeffy coming into today from a rocking chair why you ask well because I rock literally it's like dad jokes central up in this piece but that's neither here nor there because today I want to talk to you about an old concept that is always coming back to the fore and it is the concept of state control very important the ability to control your feelings your internal perceptions while you're out in the field and this something that's very very very paramount so I'm going to talk to me about the science behind it why it's so important and how you can actually start to take charge of your own state when you're on the field you can be effective instead of paralyzed humiliated and to it alright so today we are going to be diving into the vaunted time-honored topic of state control but before we do that as always I'd like to take a moment to remind you to LIKE and subscribe so you can keep getting this real talk brought to you every week and make it a mistake that's what we're talking about here real talk this information has been garnered and gleaned from the trenches for my 16 years of experience not only doing the stuff but teaching it practically every weekend so again like and subscribe you'll be glad you did so anywho it is spring spring is upon us and baseball season is also upon us and as a San Francisco resident I obviously root for the San Francisco Giants in as much as I can actually muster up desire to actually root for such things but you know sometimes it is fun to go down to the ballpark have a couple beers make some poor nutritional decisions etc etc but one thing I noticed about the ballpark believe it or not it's actually a great place to do cold approach it's essentially if you think about it it's a massive nightclub that holds 40,000 people and half the time when I go I don't even watch the game I just walk around and do pickup in fact I actually many many years ago I once picked up Steve Perry's daughter there coincidentally I didn't I didn't put this shirt on for this video see Perry isn't back the lead singer of journey this is kind of a interesting coincidence a kind of a funny story I was actually there standing in line to purchase beer and I had gone there with a much more attractive date and as I was standing in line I was wearing a not this shirt a similar journey shirt and this girl runs up to me and she says oh my god thank you for wearing that shirt that shirt put me through college I look at her I'm like what are you drunk what is this she's like no no Steve Perry's my father and she shows me her ID and that is in fact her last name and I know she kind of resembles Steve Perry which isn't necessarily a a great thing but I was like a superfan still AM and so I dismissed the more attractive woman that I was there with and actually like hung out with with you Perry's daughter got her phone number however if you're wondering did I actually hook up with Steve Perry's daughter well unfortunately I did not because in the subsequent phone game text messaging back and forth she was able to determine that I was in fact some sort of weird superfan and stopped returning my calls so that was that but true story anyway you know I I find it very amazing how these baseball players they can consistently hit this little ball this tiny little ball that's hurtling towards them at nearly 100 miles per hour I find that to be a fascinating feat of human accomplishment and the other day I was actually on the airplane and I read some article about this and one of the in-flight magazines and they were interviewing the top hitters in baseball about what it actually takes to do this to hit a fastball and one recurring idea that the players talked about was this idea of seeing the ball and what they said was that on good days they can actually focus on the pitch and they can actually see the ball coming down the pipe as though it was slowed down right their brains are just so focused and they're processing so efficiently that essentially time slows down like the matrix and they can see everything happening before their much much much more clearly and reading this actually reminded me of what it's like when when I hit state when I'm out in the field right when I hit that state and you know what I'm talking about it's like when you're out there and you have one of those nights where everything is just hit you're firing on all cylinders everything that comes out of your mouth is absolute money your rhythm is perfect your timing is perfect right that's state if you had mastery of state control if you were able to achieve that very very consistently well you know to bring the analogy home you would actually be hitting more home runs than then Barry Bonds I know he has an asterisk next to his name but you know for ingesting Mexican fish oil or whatever they called it back in the day but again if you could hit that state consistently you wouldn't need any Mexican fish oil so to speak because when you're in state you can do no wrong so this is something that I've explored extensively both personally and also in my quest to begin most efficient coach possible what is staked how exactly does it affect the mind how exactly does it affect the body and more importantly how does it affect your game sometimes you just aren't feeling it you're out you're not feeling you can't you can't be in perfect state all the time or can you whoa ah right ha ha ha I mean personally I know when I'm not in state there's a very very distinct effect my body gets flooded with adrenaline I feel nervous I feel sweaty I feel kind of green around the gills so to speak I might even get approached freeze in extreme scenarios and what we have here is basically the old fight-or-flight response kicking in now there's an opposite condition in the field of psycho neuro immunology say that three times fast psychoneuroimmunology and it's called the relaxation response and this is characterized by a reduction in blood pressure of reduction at heart rate respiration perspiration and an increased immune response in other words a good attitude a good state can actually heal serious ailments and there have been numerous cases not to see these are anecdotal where there have been patients that actually recover from cancer and they were provided with nothing but placebos they expected to get better and as a result they did now again obviously those are anecdotal but there are cases of that so state control is the variable which more than anything else determines the quality of your game particularly in the face of overwhelming social and when I use the firm state here I'm basically referring to the way you feel both physically and mentally when you are presented with a challenge any challenge the challenge itself is irrelevant so you might be sick with a cold you might be in in a club that's louder than a jet aircraft taking off you could be approaching someone you consider your personal 10 and she's surrounded by several large individuals so the key lies in your perception of the scenario in your person how are you perceiving it how you perceive things will ultimately dictate the quality of your game and your state at any given moment will invariably color those perceptions so when you can control your state you control how good your response is gonna be and this is what lies essentially at the heart of the entire inner game issue and it's kind of ironic if you think about it because by worrying about this stuff you practically guarantee your failure it's it's that old Pygmalion effect and if you're on if you're not familiar with the Pygmalion effect comes from a Greek myth Pygmalion was a sculptor who created this female statue and he wanted so badly for it to become real that with you know with the help of Aphrodite the statue actually came to life what psychologists now refer to as the Pygmalion effect is essentially a self-fulfilling prophecy what we expect tends to come true and even if that expectation isn't accurate what's gonna happen is internally we're gonna act in it when externally as well we're gonna act in ways that are consistent with that expected outcome and in the process your entire physiology our entire speech reflects this and on the other side of the equation people have a tendency to respond by adjusting their behavior to match ours so again the end result is that expectation becomes reality that expectations becomes true and personally you know I see this all the time when I'm out in the field with newbies new clump newer clients white belts sometimes I'll even feed these guys lines to say in order to prove a point so I'll tell the guy I'll tell them to do an approach and before as I say this I can already see them cycling through these failure scenarios in their head so and they finally you know screw up the courage to approach they meekly approach they kind of squeak out squeak out their little opener nine times out of ten the person has to ask them to repeat it because was an inaudible to them and then they give some non-committal answer kind of like a brush-off and then the client will then stutter kind of and deliver their follow-up line and then sort of stand there with this insecure body language waiting for the girl to say something now can you guess what happens next take a wild guess well spoiler alert they get blown out they get blown out like a candle as the pimsa say so so check it out right the guy is using the exact same material that I use right he though the words coming out of his mouth are exactly the same I'm not appreciably better-looking than the guy necessarily I'm not necessarily better dressed than him but the it it's plain as day when I roll up I do not get asked to repeat myself nor do I get non-committal answers my follow up line does not get me blown out but rather gets the person that I approached interested in what I'm gonna say next so what's the difference it's quite simple while the newbie is sitting there pondering all the ways that he could possibly fail and and look like a tool I am contemplating what sort of noises they're gonna make when I'm doing her in a hot tub okay I'm pure class in case you were not aware but point being there are no thoughts of failure I have no time for that and seriously I don't even care to be honest because I'm getting laid like the proverbial rock star regardless so consciously or not when we approach what's that old saying the self is always shining through when we approach we tip people off to what our expectations are we exhibit thousands of cues some are gonna be a subtle is like the tilting of the head the raising of an eyebrow dilation of your nostrils but those are subtle but but most are much more obvious and people pick up on those cues so basically your attitude determines your success in many many respects your attitude also determines what you can get away with and I've done personally and said some absurd ridiculous things in the field that get a different person smacked up in the blink of an eye but I got away with it quote-unquote why because I was congruent with it so congruence and your state go hand in hand now remember people generally are also pretty fluid they will adapt to whatever frame that you set and I find that it's very important to monitor and control your state not only during your interactions but also before your interactions and after them so going into the night with a very solid frame is much much better than trying to adjust your attitude once you actually get to the club and start doing approaches and similarly you know in a similar vein even your state during debrief with your with your boys or whatever can color your perceptions of what actually happened which can be actually misleading and can actually perpetuate a kind of an unhealthy negativity loop that just feeds itself long-term so by this point you're undoubtedly thinking okay great Jeff this is this is very illuminating and all but how can I use this information to my advantage well there are in fact a number of ways to actually induce that relaxation response and to actually hit state so subsequently hit state clinically it's been found that hypnosis can be effective and there have actually been case of some patients undergoing surgery surgery without anesthesia and stuff like that under under hypnosis but again more practically and they're kind of hip get hypnotized yourself before you actually go out to the club but but more practically actually meditation and breathing techniques these these are simple but they can also be very very effective and obviously are not gonna be do a meditation in the club but in practical terms I find that just monitoring my breathing when I'm out in the club gets me good results like sometimes I'll catch myself kind of breathing wrong or I'll hit like a bumpy a bump in the road like someone tools me out or I get I like a drink spilled on me or I see my ex-girlfriend any number of things could happen that kind of throw you off state you know just a bad blow up for that matter but I'll just again I'll remind myself to focus on the breath focus on the present and this is why in our C we recommend meditation because it gets you accustomed to being in that centered place so when you again do hit a bump in the road out there you can simply kind of focus on the breathing and return centered place and actually move forward in a positive direction rather than like circling the drain of despair and this is extremely certainly powerful helpful humor will also induce the relaxation response which is kind of weird if you think about it because you know laughter has a lot of hallmarks of the stress response actually like erratic respiration hahahaha increased heart rate etc etc but that aside I mean nothing gets me in state as quickly is just joking around you know I'm out there with my crew of imbeciles at the club we're just busting each other's balls whatever putting on a weird puka shell thing just acting a fool right once we get all laughing hysterically I get into that unstoppable state I'll approach anyone don't approach at the drop of a hat it's quite cool and by the way that's also how I induced that response in the clients as well right during a live coaching program the bootcamp your state is is pumped it is pumped sky-high non-stop there's tons of little tricks that I employ to get you into that saying to keep you there the entire weekend and you know once you know these tricks you'll be able to induce that that game winning state anytime anywhere you are and the best part is that's actually only the beginning like on a bootcamp over the course of that entire program you are going to be bombarded you're gonna be downloaded like in the matrix mountains of cutting-edge information that is designed to just rock your game to the next level you will leave with a very clear understanding of exactly how it will pick up goes down and a very very clear understanding of the exact steps that you need to take to move things along so a bootcamp it's basically an orientation and a massive push of momentum so the guy comes in and he's kind of facing this way we shift into face this way which doesn't seem like much but two years down the road if he kept doing the things he was doing he'd be over in no-man's land or I guess no no land even worse more calcified more stuck in his in his ways etc etc but we made that slide orientation change and now a year from you know a year out now he's in the right we actually wants to be and then beyond that we give you a massive boost of momentum so you hit the ground running you know you're fired up to actually get up the mountain so to speak I mean I've been doing programs every weekend for the past 16 years and and I've accrued around me this amazing team of superstar assistants to help me out and I travel doing these things very very extensively so if you want to shave years off your learning curve if you want to save yourself a lot of frustration check out my boot camp schedule in the link in the description to see my full list of live events sign up today anyway this has been your proverbial boy Jeffy signing off and reminding you to get out there tonight and make the Miz [Music]