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Comparison of Modern and Historical Monarchs
Modern British monarchs are cultured, educated, and refined.
Historical English monarchs were crude, brash, and had poor hygiene and etiquette.
Their habits and customs are often viewed as disgusting by modern standards.
Key Historical Monarchs
William the Conqueror (1066)
First Norman king of England.
Known for his short temper and gluttony.
Died after falling from his horse due to obesity, leading to a disastrous funeral where his body burst due to decay.
Edward III (1327-1377)
Became king at age 14 after his mother deposed King Edward II.
Notable for initiating the Hundred Years' War.
Had filthy habits as a child; dirty fingernails, and would eat while reading, causing messes.
Henry VII and Henry VIII
Groom of the Stool:
A unique and disgusting position responsible for managing the king's toilet needs.
Became a powerful position, influencing royal decisions despite its gross nature.
Henry VIII's groom, Sir William Compton, became wealthy through his influential role.
Henry Norris, Compton's successor, was executed due to accusations of conspiracy and adultery.
Elizabeth I (1558-1603)
Rarely bathed, reportedly only four times a year.
Developed a sweet tooth from sugar, leading to rotten teeth and bad breath.
Used lead-based makeup to cover facial scars from smallpox, which could cause poisoning.
Known for her temper and once spat on a courtier.
James I (1603-1625)
Succeeded Elizabeth I and was the first Stuart king.
Hated bathing and had poor hygiene, leading to body odor and itching.
Rarely changed clothes and engaged in unhygienic habits such as slobbering and nose-picking.
Conclusion
Historical English monarchs displayed a range of nasty habits, poor hygiene, and rudeness, contrasting sharply with modern standards of royal behavior.