Transcript for:
Helping Someone in an Abusive Relationship

If you work with or know someone who's in an abusive situation, find a way to talk to them about the resources and alternatives. People who work together are generally the first to notice changes that may indicate that there is a problem. And it's important not to judge or tell her what she needs to do. It's ultimately her decision and your coaxing may come across.

As just one more person trying to tell her, however well-intentioned, what to do and trying to control her life. Just believe her. She's more likely to understate the severity than to exaggerate it. The safety of the survivor and the workplace is the bottom line.

Anyone in an abusive situation should develop a safety plan ahead of time. And a very important part of that plan would be a network of people that she can trust and to have a pre-planned safe place that she can go that the batterer doesn't know about. She should also plan to keep an emergency bag with the essentials and the important documents that she would need for any court strategies in that bag at a location where the batterer would not be able to find it.

And if possible... to remove any weapons from the house because she'd be much more likely to be hurt or killed if a weapon is handy. And also statistics do show that survivors are much more likely to be killed.

That percentage increases to 75% once they leave because then the abuser has lost that control that is so important to him. These are some important safety precautions. If possible, be sure that security has a photo and a description and any other personal identifiers that could help in obtaining information on the criminal background or weapons ownership of the abuser. As I said, the chances of being hurt or killed increase by 75% after leaving.

So the survivor should not disclose the whereabouts after leaving and should make sure that someone in their network, the trusted network, knows their whereabouts at all times. Caution is essential. Survivors can use the courts and advocacy programs to get help. There are many programs and dedicated professionals available who have a wealth of knowledge and are willing to go the distance. to help them in the cycle of violence.

And if an abuser is put in jail, then the survivor should be notified in advance of any release.