guys so recently I was going through my DMs on Instagram and I received a DM from a girl that said to me hiis my boyfriend and his parents are making me feel very insecure about myself she said this is the lowest my self-confidence has ever been and the reason why she can't leave him is because her family lives very far away so she doesn't know what to do and she's very lonely and attached to this man this video I will tell you what you can do when someone is trying to make you feel insecure about yourself this can be your parents friends relationship it does not matter hi guys my name is Li and welcome back to my channel okay let's get into it first things first always look at what kind of insults is someone giving you this is such a fascinating subject to me because recently I actually got a lot of clarity on this because I was talking to my high school friend and my high school friend she used to be very very insecure especially about her appearance and she said you know when I was very insecure and I was kind of toxic in my own ways what I would do to make me feel better about myself is I would go to Instagram models or beautiful women and I would comment underneath their pictures like very nasty things about their appearance because she said it would make me feel better that they would go to bed that night seeing my comment and also feeling bad about themselves because obviously misery loves company and then she said to me that's why now I know because she she obviously she healed from this and she stopped doing this but she said now I know when someone comments something that is their own projection so when you just look at okay what are they actually saying to me are they insulting your intelligence are they insulting your looks are they insulting let's say your weight um your character whatever everything someone is insulting you about with no reason that is something that they're insecure about themselves when I was deep into my Ed and my eating disorder in my head I used to judge people that were overweight because I was struggling with my own weight when I got out of my eating disorder I stopped doing that understand when someone says something to you they're just revealing how they feel about themselves another thing you should do is you should find yourself again know who you are honey listen when you know who you are when you know who you are without this person no one can shake or rock your boat your boat has to be stable first okay what his parents are saying what he's saying are all projections onto you but you have to be so stable that whatever comes whatever water comes in it cannot shake you someone cannot tell you hey you're purple when you know you're not purple okay so those insults will go one ear in other ear out when you know who you are what do you like what do you love about yourself how do you treat yourself on a DayDay basis uh what are your hobby never allow anyone to talk down on you see the thing is when you from the first time allow someone to do that it will only get worse and worse down the line toxic people don't get nicer down the line they just see how far they can go the first time you show them okay I forgave you after you did this to me that's an in for them to get worse and worse so either you cut it from there and you're like okay get out get out enough like no there was no need to disrespect me was good to you or you make them suffer and you make them learn their lesson so they never repeat it again when someone insults you give them a passive aggressive comment back if let's say his mother tells you oh you don't look good today or you're ugly whatever you should tell her uh thank you but you know I love to look at you and every day you just give me inspiration to feel confident because if you look like that and you can be confident then I can too Bon makes you feel ugly and he says something you should say that oh my god really you know what's so conf confusing to me though every time I send a picture of you to the group chat of my friends they just laugh at me and I don't understand what would they mean by that can can you explain to me why they laugh at your picture like they literally tell me always that you're so ugly but I I don't get it why do you think they say that either you're going to do that your whole life be passive G and act like a bimbo that you don't understand anything and just insult these people back or you start thinking like you know what these people are not worth my energy you should be lucky to breede the same air as me honestly you guys are beneath me walk away honey walk away you will find much better than him okay he is the bare minimum he's under the bare minimum he's the he's in hell this guy's in Hell okay you can create heaven for yourself why are you in hell with him you don't belong there baby you're too good if someone has to insult you to bring you down you're already above them you're already above them why are they trying to bring you down look at the people you guys are surrounding yourself with look at the people you guys are constantly spending your time with if these people don't grow you if these people are not making you feel happy or good about yourself why are you there why is your confidence so low that you accept shitty behavior from people that in one second will leave your life if you just close the door you can say hey you know what get the [ __ ] out of here bye bye and close the door and never open it again I'm so tired of us wasting our time because I'm honestly doing the same thing I honestly was in a same boat as you constantly forgiving forgiving because I'm thinking oh I'm lonely I don't have anyone I also don't live with my family so I only have this person but I'm not happy with this person but then I feel bad for them so I'm continuing a cycle that I don't like and I will end up in a cycle that I don't like because when will Liz's life change when Liz changes and nothing else and the same with you your life will not change honey nothing will happen I saw this quote that said we accept the love that we think we deserve and it's again the same thing why do you think this is the best you can do why do you think that a person that disrespects you is the best you can do do you really think that low of yourself I'm telling you there's people that just believe they deserve the best and they get that but you are doubting yourself you're thinking I'm not good enough and that's why you are left with crumbs of a person that's why I'm also saying it shouldn't be about him it should be about you what do you want is this what you want for yourself is this where your precious energy is going cuz honey right now it's all fun and games you're young you're in your 20s funny but down the line you'll be 60 stuck with this person if you don't leave now and time goes very fast people have spent years years thinking a I will be done one day and they won't and some people don't make it out alive it's all like oh until that do is a part and then you don't come out of it alive they should be blessed to sit in the same room as you they should feel blessed to breathe the same air as you and you're letting people sit there and talk down on you hello hello value yourself protect yourself no one is going to do that for you when you have a partner when you have a friend when even your parents they should make you feel like you're the king and queen on Earth they should like hype you up they should be like you're amazing you're beautiful like that's how people should talk to each other if they don't there's no benefit honey you will always keep either in the same position or he will drag you down sometimes you have to look at some people and you have to be like you know what I'm too pretty to accept your behavior I'm too pretty for this you have to stop telling people oh I will leave I will do this I that no just leave shut up create your exit plan and leave okay don't tell anything because these people they don't believe you first of all they'll never take you serious because you have always always threatened that before and you never do it so this time just keep your mouth shut okay and start creating an exit plan think okay how can I make money how can I save up money to live on my own how can I make friends so I feel less lonely so I have at least a community around me can I find other room that also have been in an abusive relationship uh then I can find a community in that St start thinking these things and slowly slowly you're just moving out and then one day he comes home and all of your stuff is gone me a toxic person will not miss you they will just find another victim that's it because that's who you are to them a victim honey you have to understand not everyone you lose is a loss A lot of times it's a gain if I look at the people that I had in my life I'm very happy that all of them are gone because that's was that was not meant for me anymore and at that time it was it was what I needed it was what I needed to grow and I needed to learn but right now I'm in a state where I just grown so much I don't resonate with those people anymore and that's okay it wasn't a loss it was a lesson and I'm grateful for those lessons and I'm grateful for the time that I had with them even if it was bad it I T I learned something and I moved on with my life and you should do the same thing don't look at it as how could I have stayed I feel so dumb blah blah no honey there was a lesson there we learned through relationships we learned through these things and when when you've learned your lesson you're also supposed to move on you shouldn't linger there you shouldn't linger where there's no respect just know that you're the queen on Earth and you can get anything you want if you set your mind to it and you know this you literally know this okay don't waste your time on people that are not worth to be around you they're not worthy of you okay if you have pure intentions and if you have a good heart you deserve people with the same intentions and with the same heart anyways I love you guys so much and yeah I hope you guys learned something I hope this helped and yeah I love you guys so much and I see you next video bye-bye