Understanding Empathy

Empathy vs. Sympathy

• Empathy fuels connection.
• Sympathy drives disconnection.

Theresa Wiseman's Four Qualities of Empathy

1. Perspective Taking
   • Ability to see from another's perspective.
   • Recognizing their perspective as their truth.
2. Staying Out of Judgment
   • Avoiding judgment is challenging but essential.
3. Recognizing Emotion
   • Identifying emotions in others and communicating them.
4. Feeling With People
   • Empathy involves sharing in another's emotions.

Empathy as a Sacred Space

• Empathy is portrayed as climbing down into a deep hole with someone, as opposed to just acknowledging their struggle at a distance.

Vulnerability in Empathy

• Empathy requires personal vulnerability.
• Requires connecting with something within oneself that relates to the other's feelings.

Common Missteps in Empathy

• Responses often start with "At least..." which attempts to find a "silver lining".
• This approach is not helpful and can minimize the other person's experience.

Importance of Connection

• In difficult conversations, people often try to make things better superficially.
• True support comes from genuine connection and acknowledging the shared experience.
• Sometimes, simply admitting "I don't know what to say, I'm just glad you told me" can be the most empathetic response.
• Connection, rather than a solution or response, is what can make situations better.

Key Takeaway

• Empathy involves mutual feelings and authentic connection, whereas sympathy often distances and minimizes other people's experiences.