let's say you disagree with someone more powerful than you say your boss or your boss's boss how do you decide if you should say something when and where to speak up what to say and how to say it i'm going to share some advice to help you disagree with that authority figure more constructively and more confidently [Music] let's say your client is demanding an unrealistic timeline or your senior colleague wants your buy-in on that doom to fail idea to decide if you should say something at all it's helpful to first do a risk assessment it's natural to avoid confrontation with a superior as humans we instinctively steer clear of situations that we fear might cause us harm emotional rejection or professional failure but you might be overplaying these risks chances are you're not going to be fired or make an enemy just for speaking your mind especially if you do it the right way most of us focus on the risk of saying something but communication expert joseph granny suggests we focus first on the risk of not saying something what do you stand to lose what opportunities could you or your team be missing out on what could happen later if you don't raise this issue now then think through realistically what might happen if you voice your disagreement and ask yourself which is worse you may decide speaking up truly isn't worth it especially if they hire up is someone who you suspect will be vindictive or your workplace has a history of punishing people for speaking their mind but in many cases sharing your opinion will be the right thing to do then you need to decide when and where to share it you may be able to build a stronger case if you wait to share your disagreement this will give you time to research facts and make sure you understand the full picture it can also give you time to find colleagues who are on the same page as you and their ideas and support may bolster your case the delay will also give you time to find the right environment to have this conversation where you meet matters a private meeting with this powerful person may be less threatening than airing your disagreement in a more public space once you've decided if when and where to share your opinion it's time to get into the nitty-gritty of what to say and how to say it communication expert holly weeks advises us to remember this is not a boxing match it's more like a chess game where you need to be strategic to increase your chances of success while keeping everyone's integrity intact on that note if possible it's a good idea to establish a process with this person ahead of time before there's even a disagreement you might say we're probably not always going to see eye to eye and i was wondering how you want me to share my opinion if it differs from yours that way when a disagreement comes up they've already told you how they'd like you to handle it and they've given you tacit permission to share your opinion whether or not you're able to lay that groundwork beforehand here's what i recommend when you're planning what to say first clearly restate the original idea or proposal it may sound unnecessary but you don't want the conversation to be about whether or not you understood the original message you want it to be about your ideas also ask permission to disagree like i'd like to lay out my reasoning would that be okay that may sound overly deferential but it's one of those strategic moves that allows your superior to opt into the conversation without feeling threatened plus when they say yes it has the added benefit of boosting your confidence before you share your opinion then and this one is really important connect your idea to a shared goal something you both care about like quarterly earnings company morale or creating an equitable workplace the discussion can then be refocused on accomplishing goals that are in the teams or the organization's best interests not on the fact that you happen to have a contrary opinion once you've figured out what you're going to say you need to think through how you're going to present your argument and yourself in this delicate situation first stay calm this isn't always easy but you want to project confidence in neutrality anxious or hesitant body language may undercut your message so breathe deeply speak slowly and deliberately trust me you'll both be a lot calmer stay humble your opinion is just that your opinion and you should be upfront and acknowledging that saying things like i'm just thinking out loud here or tell me where i'm wrong on this leaves room for dialogue and invites curiosity rather than defensiveness stay neutral share only facts not judgments try this experiment to see what i mean state your case without using a single adjective especially loaded ones for instance instead of saying i think making a big purchase now is hasty you might say we can see that prices are dropping if we wait a little while longer we may be able to save some money avoiding words like foolish naive and wrong separates your critique from the people involved and keeps it focused on the problem that you're trying to solve together be respectful and firm saying something like i know you'll make the final call here it's up to you puts the ultimate decision in their court while showing that you know where you stand to be clear this isn't about backtracking or undermining yourself it's a balancing act and you want to be firm about your opinion while acknowledging their authority okay that was a lot of information so let me summarize when assessing if when and where to speak up remember the consequences of disagreeing might not be so bad and could be much worse if you keep silent at the same time wait to launch the discussion until you've had time to gather support and ideas so you can present the best possible case choose the right time and place in which to have the conversation when strategizing what to say restate the original idea so they know you understand what they proposed explain that you have a different opinion and ask if you can voice it find common ground connect your disagreement to a shared goal you both want to achieve if you can set up a disagreement process ahead of time to make all of the above much easier when thinking about how to say it stay calm breathe deeply and speak slowly to keep everyone cool and collected stay humble and curious enough to hear critiques stay neutral and avoid judgy adjectives that can be upsetting and counterproductive be respectful but firm acknowledge their authority in making the final decision after confidently and clearly stating your opinion thanks for watching all of these strategies are based on hbr articles and we'll put the links in the description below do you have a tactic that's worked for you to disagree with someone more powerful than you or do you have a big topic you want us to cover in the next hvr guide to video comment below bye for now